One Moment...Can Change Everything (2/?)
Disclaimer: I do not own the show or any of its characters; this is simply just for fun.
Title: One Moment…Can Change Everything
Author: lovelikecrazy87
Pairings: Kahlan/Cara
Summary: In the life of Kahlan and Cara and the struggles they face.
Warnings: This is a story were two sexy women love each other, aka femslash...there might be cuteness overload...you’ve been warned.
Rating: The whole spectrum lol. From G to NC-17 (or at least my attempt at it).
Chapter Two: Memories
~Cara’s POV
Sleep fell upon them, and here I sit, by the fire, watching her through the flames. The flames dance across her face just the like emotions did earlier on in the forest. When she snapped at me and told me the Mord’Sith do not have friends. I knew by the look in her eyes that, that wasn’t something she wanted to say, especially not to me. Yet she’s right, I wonder if she even knows that. Mord’Sith do not have friends, we have enemies and pets, that’s all. Friendship was forbidden among the sisters, and I was thankful for that. Letting someone in is hard, you put yourself out there, just to give someone the chance to hurt you, like Kahlan did to me.
I put myself out there. I told her she was my friend, and she dismissed me as nothing more than a common villager who didn’t just travel all over the Midlands with her. I used to wonder if she ever thought of me, when we were traveling together, or if her thoughts were solely on Richard and his quest. There were many times when Kahlan and I would be alone on our own Quest while Richard was busy saving the damsel on distress of the week. I couldn’t help the thoughts as they crossed my mind as I would watch her sleep at night. Thoughts that I would never be able to speak aloud, not to her, not to anyone.
That maybe Kahlan Amnell, saw me, as something more than I was.
Reaching behind where I am sitting I pull my bag onto my back. I wonder if she’ll even care that I’m gone, or if she’ll just continue to Aydindril with Richard, take him as her husband, and have everything she has ever wanted. I guess it is not my place to wonder about such things, after all I’m nothing more than a Mord’Sith.
It isn’t like I’m her friend or anything.
“Goodbye Confessor,” I whisper as I stand above her, looking down at the women who so easily broke my heart…without even trying knowing she is doing it. That’s always been our greatest challenge, in our so called relationship. And what kind of relationship do we even have? I mean if a friendship…I don’t think so because there are things that the Mother Confessor and I do that means more than friendship. I mean I’m not her mate or anything, at least not yet, so it isn’t that. The only thing is, is that we are more than friends, yet we aren’t anything further than that, no matter how much I wish we were.
“Cara,” turning around I notice a sleepy Kahlan coming over to me. She’s supposed to be sleeping, that’s the deal. She sleeps, I take first watch, and then she takes watch and I sleep. Richard has gone to the Palace of the Prophets and Zedd is missing, kidnapped by Denna, but he’ll never admit such a thing, so we are trying to get as much sleep as possible whenever we can.
“You’re supposed to be asleep Mother Confessor,” I grumble. I don’t need her taking my shift early. Last time she did that she fell asleep against a tree, how knows what could have happened while we were both out. I have never felt unsafe around the Mother Confessor until now.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she says leaning against the tree next to me. I feel the warmness of her hand slip into mine. “Without you next to me,” I turn to look at her but I notice she isn’t looking at me. Instead she is looking out into the darkness.
“Kahlan, stop,” I say pulling my hand away from her and glaring at her out of the corner of my eye. “We cannot do this,” I say crossing my arms across my chest. “It isn’t fair to Richard, and you know that, at least you used to…before…” I trail of stepping away from the tree and moving back towards the camp. “I’m gonna get some sleep, try not to fall asleep this time Confessor, or it will be the last time you keep watch,” I say turning my back on her.
“Promise, promise,” she whispers, not knowing that I can hear her. Kahlan and I have been traveling all over the Midlands trying to find Zedd because we need him to name a new Seeker so that we can continue our way to find the Stone of Tears. Richard didn’t die or anything, but he left us the Sword of Truth because he is unsure when he is going to be back, and he doesn’t want his absence to mean the end of the world. It took a lot for Kahlan to understand why we had to name a new Seeker, but eventually she came to terms with it, and now she is all for it.
Things between Kahlan and I have gotten complicated, more so than I ever could have imagined, and standing over her now I realize that leaving her, here, alone with Richard and Zedd, is one of the hardest things I am ever going to have to do, but I do know that it is what has to be done. Kahlan doesn’t want me here that much is clear, so the next best thing for me to do is to leave her, to let her continue on to Aydindril without me.
Where am I to go from here? I don’t know, but I do know that ever single night that I am away from her, she will be on my mind.
………
~Kahlan’s POV
It started out just like every other morning. I woke to find Richard kneeling trying to get the fire started for our morning meal, of course Cara was nowhere to be found but most morning she is off looking for food before I wake, so that wasn’t a surprise. She has been trying so hard to find out what’s wrong with me, and I can’t really blame her, I have been less than nice to her. But then again that shouldn’t be too hard, no one is really nice to her.
No one but me that is.
And I guess that’s why I should be surprised when I saw a hurt look pass across her face when I told her Mord’Sith don’t have friends. Which is so a lie. Cara has friends. She has me, Richard and Zedd, she has to know that…right? She has to know that I consider her to be my friend, especially after everything that happened in the tomb on Richard’s birthday.
But then again she should know that she means more to me than just my friend. Right? We spent many night together when we were searching for Zedd, many nights…alone. When Cara first started traveling with us I never would have dreamt about being a long with her in the woods, for many nights on end. But after I did, I wish I could go back to that.
There were times, when we were alone, when she would make me forget about the world. Things like the Keeper, Richard, searching for Zedd and everything else. She always had the ability to do that, and for that I was always grateful because there were certainly times when I wished I could forget it all. No one knows about the things Cara and I experienced when we were alone, traveling, looking for Zedd. We decided we shouldn’t talk about it. Like when she pressed her agiel to my leg to seal my wound, and the look we shared afterwards.
It was that look, with that smile, when my feelings began to change for her. It is when I started looking at her as more than just a Mord’Sith, and more than just Cara. I started to wonder what life without her would be, because I knew that when I returned to Aydindril she would not be welcome there and eventually we would have to go our separate ways. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I thought about Cara as more than just a friend. And I would be upset more if she didn’t come to Aydindril than if Richard didn’t.
And that’s when things between Richard and I started to change…well for me, not for him. He still acted as if everything was the same, but I knew it wasn’t, and I know I shouldn’t have let it go on like it did, but how do you tell someone who loves you that you just don’t love him like that anymore? I know it would kill him, so I let it go on, at least until we got to the Pillars of Creation and defeated the Keeper. He needed to concentrate and I knew that if I explained everything to him he would be able to, and the Keeper would win.
The night after we defeated the Keeper I took Richard aside, walking through the woods, and I explained to him why I didn’t want him to come to Aydindril with me. I told him that he should go take the throne of D’Hara, which is were he belongs, but he refuses to listen to me. I tried to get Zedd to reason with him but he isn’t listening to either one of us.
And that will be his greatest downfall.
“Where’s Cara?” Zedd asks coming to sit beside me. He has been acting weird when it comes to the topic of Cara and I and it is making me wonder if maybe he knows more than he is telling.
“Isn’t she hunting?” I ask starting the fire for whatever Cara might find.
“No my dear, Richard is hunting, and Cara’s traveling pack is gone…which means only one thing…” he trails off looking at me.
“She’s gone.” I say looking out into the forest. Standing up I can’t help a helpless feeling that rises inside my body. Would she really just leave like that? Leave me? Was she really that hurt after what I said to her? “I have to go find her.” I say reaching for my own traveling pack.
“You cannot go alone Kahlan,” Zedd says reaching for my arm.
“I have to I’m the reason she left,” I say staring at him sternly.
“Why would you say that?” He asks confused. We must promise never to tell them about us Mother Confessor, they wouldn’t understand why we work. It goes against everything anyone has ever known, and for Zedd it goes against everything he believes to be right. Cara’s voice rings through my head. “Kahlan?”
“If been pushing her away lately, because I know she isn’t going to stay in Aydindril with me, she’s going to follow Richard,” I lie. “Wherever Richard decides to go,” I add. He nods as an understand. “I will meet you in Aydindril…with Cara.”
“Richard won’t like this Kahlan,” he says.
“Richard has no say in what I do anymore Zedd,” I say, turning and walking away. My words saying more than what is actually spoken. I told Richard that him and I could not be together, I told him that I don’t want him to go to Aydindril. Ever since that moment Richard has tried to work his way back into the small part of my heart that he used to be in, but it isn’t working, that small part is already full, someone else has warmed their way into it.
Cara.
………
~Cara’s POV
“Everything we have been through these past days has lead us here Cara, please do not push me away,” Kahlan says as she comes to stand beside me as I stand in front of the stream. I came here, to this spot, hoping to be alone, so that I could clean up and think, but of course Kahlan followed me, I should have known better.
“Go away Mother Confessor,” I say not even turning to look at her.
“No.” She says simply.
“Listen,” I say turning around quickly causes her to jump backwards slightly. “We said we weren’t going to talk about this. That we weren’t going to bring it up, you agreed, and yet not you will not stop talking about it,” I say stepping up to her running my fingers through her hair. “Our night together was amazing, but we agreed, for Richard that it would never be talked about,” I say holding her face only inches from mine, wanting so badly to kiss her once again.
As if reading my mind Kahlan places both her hands on either side of my face and brings her lips to mine. In a kiss that is long overdue. Our kiss is not slow and passionate, instead it is quick and full of want. My hands grip her hair tightly, thus deepening the kiss and I can feel her moan slightly against my lips and I take that opportunity to slip my tongue between her lips. Just as her hands move down my back I push her away slightly. “Kahlan,” I say her name breathlessly. “We can’t do this,” I say as she places kisses along my jaw line.
“Yes we can,” she says looking into my eyes. Her eyes full of want and desire.
“No, we cannot,” I say pushing her away, this time with a little more force so that she actually has to take a step back. “You are with the Seeker,” I say looking away from her slightly. “It is not right, you do not belong to me, you belong to him,” I finish turning my back on her and looking back over the stream that is about to wash all this way.
“I do not belong to anyone,” she says softly walking up behind me. “But if I did,” I can feel her lips against my ear. “I’d want to belong to you.” She says leaning in and kissing me.
Looking out of over this same stream, I remember the first time Kahlan told me that she wanted to be with me. Well, not in that many words, but I know that it what she meant. We spent the afternoon here, together, alone, doing things she never thought she could do, before we silently returned to camp, were Richard and Zedd had dinner cooked for us. After that moment, Kahlan began to act weird, being angry towards me for reasons I do not know.
Until last night.
When she made it clear that she didn’t want me around anymore.
………
Author’s Note: The Italics are flashbacks, just in cause you didn’t already figure that out. hahaha
Title: One Moment…Can Change Everything
Author: lovelikecrazy87
Pairings: Kahlan/Cara
Summary: In the life of Kahlan and Cara and the struggles they face.
Warnings: This is a story were two sexy women love each other, aka femslash...there might be cuteness overload...you’ve been warned.
Rating: The whole spectrum lol. From G to NC-17 (or at least my attempt at it).
Chapter Two: Memories
~Cara’s POV
Sleep fell upon them, and here I sit, by the fire, watching her through the flames. The flames dance across her face just the like emotions did earlier on in the forest. When she snapped at me and told me the Mord’Sith do not have friends. I knew by the look in her eyes that, that wasn’t something she wanted to say, especially not to me. Yet she’s right, I wonder if she even knows that. Mord’Sith do not have friends, we have enemies and pets, that’s all. Friendship was forbidden among the sisters, and I was thankful for that. Letting someone in is hard, you put yourself out there, just to give someone the chance to hurt you, like Kahlan did to me.
I put myself out there. I told her she was my friend, and she dismissed me as nothing more than a common villager who didn’t just travel all over the Midlands with her. I used to wonder if she ever thought of me, when we were traveling together, or if her thoughts were solely on Richard and his quest. There were many times when Kahlan and I would be alone on our own Quest while Richard was busy saving the damsel on distress of the week. I couldn’t help the thoughts as they crossed my mind as I would watch her sleep at night. Thoughts that I would never be able to speak aloud, not to her, not to anyone.
That maybe Kahlan Amnell, saw me, as something more than I was.
Reaching behind where I am sitting I pull my bag onto my back. I wonder if she’ll even care that I’m gone, or if she’ll just continue to Aydindril with Richard, take him as her husband, and have everything she has ever wanted. I guess it is not my place to wonder about such things, after all I’m nothing more than a Mord’Sith.
It isn’t like I’m her friend or anything.
“Goodbye Confessor,” I whisper as I stand above her, looking down at the women who so easily broke my heart…without even trying knowing she is doing it. That’s always been our greatest challenge, in our so called relationship. And what kind of relationship do we even have? I mean if a friendship…I don’t think so because there are things that the Mother Confessor and I do that means more than friendship. I mean I’m not her mate or anything, at least not yet, so it isn’t that. The only thing is, is that we are more than friends, yet we aren’t anything further than that, no matter how much I wish we were.
“Cara,” turning around I notice a sleepy Kahlan coming over to me. She’s supposed to be sleeping, that’s the deal. She sleeps, I take first watch, and then she takes watch and I sleep. Richard has gone to the Palace of the Prophets and Zedd is missing, kidnapped by Denna, but he’ll never admit such a thing, so we are trying to get as much sleep as possible whenever we can.
“You’re supposed to be asleep Mother Confessor,” I grumble. I don’t need her taking my shift early. Last time she did that she fell asleep against a tree, how knows what could have happened while we were both out. I have never felt unsafe around the Mother Confessor until now.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she says leaning against the tree next to me. I feel the warmness of her hand slip into mine. “Without you next to me,” I turn to look at her but I notice she isn’t looking at me. Instead she is looking out into the darkness.
“Kahlan, stop,” I say pulling my hand away from her and glaring at her out of the corner of my eye. “We cannot do this,” I say crossing my arms across my chest. “It isn’t fair to Richard, and you know that, at least you used to…before…” I trail of stepping away from the tree and moving back towards the camp. “I’m gonna get some sleep, try not to fall asleep this time Confessor, or it will be the last time you keep watch,” I say turning my back on her.
“Promise, promise,” she whispers, not knowing that I can hear her. Kahlan and I have been traveling all over the Midlands trying to find Zedd because we need him to name a new Seeker so that we can continue our way to find the Stone of Tears. Richard didn’t die or anything, but he left us the Sword of Truth because he is unsure when he is going to be back, and he doesn’t want his absence to mean the end of the world. It took a lot for Kahlan to understand why we had to name a new Seeker, but eventually she came to terms with it, and now she is all for it.
Things between Kahlan and I have gotten complicated, more so than I ever could have imagined, and standing over her now I realize that leaving her, here, alone with Richard and Zedd, is one of the hardest things I am ever going to have to do, but I do know that it is what has to be done. Kahlan doesn’t want me here that much is clear, so the next best thing for me to do is to leave her, to let her continue on to Aydindril without me.
Where am I to go from here? I don’t know, but I do know that ever single night that I am away from her, she will be on my mind.
………
~Kahlan’s POV
It started out just like every other morning. I woke to find Richard kneeling trying to get the fire started for our morning meal, of course Cara was nowhere to be found but most morning she is off looking for food before I wake, so that wasn’t a surprise. She has been trying so hard to find out what’s wrong with me, and I can’t really blame her, I have been less than nice to her. But then again that shouldn’t be too hard, no one is really nice to her.
No one but me that is.
And I guess that’s why I should be surprised when I saw a hurt look pass across her face when I told her Mord’Sith don’t have friends. Which is so a lie. Cara has friends. She has me, Richard and Zedd, she has to know that…right? She has to know that I consider her to be my friend, especially after everything that happened in the tomb on Richard’s birthday.
But then again she should know that she means more to me than just my friend. Right? We spent many night together when we were searching for Zedd, many nights…alone. When Cara first started traveling with us I never would have dreamt about being a long with her in the woods, for many nights on end. But after I did, I wish I could go back to that.
There were times, when we were alone, when she would make me forget about the world. Things like the Keeper, Richard, searching for Zedd and everything else. She always had the ability to do that, and for that I was always grateful because there were certainly times when I wished I could forget it all. No one knows about the things Cara and I experienced when we were alone, traveling, looking for Zedd. We decided we shouldn’t talk about it. Like when she pressed her agiel to my leg to seal my wound, and the look we shared afterwards.
It was that look, with that smile, when my feelings began to change for her. It is when I started looking at her as more than just a Mord’Sith, and more than just Cara. I started to wonder what life without her would be, because I knew that when I returned to Aydindril she would not be welcome there and eventually we would have to go our separate ways. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I thought about Cara as more than just a friend. And I would be upset more if she didn’t come to Aydindril than if Richard didn’t.
And that’s when things between Richard and I started to change…well for me, not for him. He still acted as if everything was the same, but I knew it wasn’t, and I know I shouldn’t have let it go on like it did, but how do you tell someone who loves you that you just don’t love him like that anymore? I know it would kill him, so I let it go on, at least until we got to the Pillars of Creation and defeated the Keeper. He needed to concentrate and I knew that if I explained everything to him he would be able to, and the Keeper would win.
The night after we defeated the Keeper I took Richard aside, walking through the woods, and I explained to him why I didn’t want him to come to Aydindril with me. I told him that he should go take the throne of D’Hara, which is were he belongs, but he refuses to listen to me. I tried to get Zedd to reason with him but he isn’t listening to either one of us.
And that will be his greatest downfall.
“Where’s Cara?” Zedd asks coming to sit beside me. He has been acting weird when it comes to the topic of Cara and I and it is making me wonder if maybe he knows more than he is telling.
“Isn’t she hunting?” I ask starting the fire for whatever Cara might find.
“No my dear, Richard is hunting, and Cara’s traveling pack is gone…which means only one thing…” he trails off looking at me.
“She’s gone.” I say looking out into the forest. Standing up I can’t help a helpless feeling that rises inside my body. Would she really just leave like that? Leave me? Was she really that hurt after what I said to her? “I have to go find her.” I say reaching for my own traveling pack.
“You cannot go alone Kahlan,” Zedd says reaching for my arm.
“I have to I’m the reason she left,” I say staring at him sternly.
“Why would you say that?” He asks confused. We must promise never to tell them about us Mother Confessor, they wouldn’t understand why we work. It goes against everything anyone has ever known, and for Zedd it goes against everything he believes to be right. Cara’s voice rings through my head. “Kahlan?”
“If been pushing her away lately, because I know she isn’t going to stay in Aydindril with me, she’s going to follow Richard,” I lie. “Wherever Richard decides to go,” I add. He nods as an understand. “I will meet you in Aydindril…with Cara.”
“Richard won’t like this Kahlan,” he says.
“Richard has no say in what I do anymore Zedd,” I say, turning and walking away. My words saying more than what is actually spoken. I told Richard that him and I could not be together, I told him that I don’t want him to go to Aydindril. Ever since that moment Richard has tried to work his way back into the small part of my heart that he used to be in, but it isn’t working, that small part is already full, someone else has warmed their way into it.
Cara.
………
~Cara’s POV
“Everything we have been through these past days has lead us here Cara, please do not push me away,” Kahlan says as she comes to stand beside me as I stand in front of the stream. I came here, to this spot, hoping to be alone, so that I could clean up and think, but of course Kahlan followed me, I should have known better.
“Go away Mother Confessor,” I say not even turning to look at her.
“No.” She says simply.
“Listen,” I say turning around quickly causes her to jump backwards slightly. “We said we weren’t going to talk about this. That we weren’t going to bring it up, you agreed, and yet not you will not stop talking about it,” I say stepping up to her running my fingers through her hair. “Our night together was amazing, but we agreed, for Richard that it would never be talked about,” I say holding her face only inches from mine, wanting so badly to kiss her once again.
As if reading my mind Kahlan places both her hands on either side of my face and brings her lips to mine. In a kiss that is long overdue. Our kiss is not slow and passionate, instead it is quick and full of want. My hands grip her hair tightly, thus deepening the kiss and I can feel her moan slightly against my lips and I take that opportunity to slip my tongue between her lips. Just as her hands move down my back I push her away slightly. “Kahlan,” I say her name breathlessly. “We can’t do this,” I say as she places kisses along my jaw line.
“Yes we can,” she says looking into my eyes. Her eyes full of want and desire.
“No, we cannot,” I say pushing her away, this time with a little more force so that she actually has to take a step back. “You are with the Seeker,” I say looking away from her slightly. “It is not right, you do not belong to me, you belong to him,” I finish turning my back on her and looking back over the stream that is about to wash all this way.
“I do not belong to anyone,” she says softly walking up behind me. “But if I did,” I can feel her lips against my ear. “I’d want to belong to you.” She says leaning in and kissing me.
Looking out of over this same stream, I remember the first time Kahlan told me that she wanted to be with me. Well, not in that many words, but I know that it what she meant. We spent the afternoon here, together, alone, doing things she never thought she could do, before we silently returned to camp, were Richard and Zedd had dinner cooked for us. After that moment, Kahlan began to act weird, being angry towards me for reasons I do not know.
Until last night.
When she made it clear that she didn’t want me around anymore.
………
Author’s Note: The Italics are flashbacks, just in cause you didn’t already figure that out. hahaha