Screaming Color - Ch.11 Bad Blood
Title: Screaming Color (11/14)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Warnings: Past abuse (physical and emotional), referenced rape/non-con
Disclaimer: I do not personally know, nor do I own, Jensen or Jared. This is purely fictional.
Summary (shortened): Jared escapes his hometown, and his past, for a fresh start in the bright and busy city of New York. Jensen has been stationed in the city for the better part of the last four years. When they finally get together, neither one wants to let their fears or scars hold them back. But when the world around you doesn’t actually know you, and the demons of your past threaten to break you, can love really conqueror all?
A/N: Any feedback is welcome! It fuels the fire :)
Other stories/chapters can be found in the Fiction Index
Chapter Eleven: Bad Blood
Hey! Now we got problems
And I don’t think we can solve them
You made a really deep cut, And baby now we got bad blood
Did you have to do this? I was thinking that you could be trusted
Did you have to ruin, what was shining now it’s all rusted
Did you have to hit me, where I’m weak baby I couldn’t breathe
I rubbed it in so deep
Salt in the wound like you’re laughing right at me.
‘Bad Blood’ by Taylor Swift, 1989
Jared could feel himself shaking as the plane touched down, the quiet hum of people gathering their misplaced belongings from the long flight reaching his ears. He exhaled slowly, letting his eyes fall closed as he leaned back into the seat. He could feel the energy of the people around him pressing against him, the feeling was almost suffocating. He smiled; he was home.
He slipped his phone out of his pocket and turned it on, peering out the window at the people scrambling around the tarmac, getting everything set up for them all to exit the plane. His phone started to vibrate against his thigh and he ignored it for the moment, knowing there would be more messages and alerts going through.
Beside him, the gentleman that had been snoring happily almost the entire flight - save for meal times - jerked himself awake, sputtering as he spun around and blinked a few times at Jared.
“We here?” He asked, his voice thick with sleep.
“New York, New York!” Jared smiled back at him, nodding his head. “Just landed.”
“Oh good.” The man shifted himself around, unhooking the seatbelt so he could lean forward to pick up his small carry-on. “I can’t wait to see my girls.” He smiled as he leaned back and looked over at Jared. “Going home to family?”
“Yeah.” Jared smiled back, warmth flooding his chest.
“She’s one lucky girl.” The man said studying his face.
“Oh. No…” Jared shook his head quickly. “He’s a lucky guy.”
“Oh? Oh!” Jared watched as realization hit the man and felt himself tense for a second. “Yes, a very lucky guy.” He smiled at Jared. “Any kids?” And just like that, they fell into a comfortable conversation to pass the rest of the time they were stuck on the plane.
“Have a good rest of your day.” Jared said as he pushed himself into the aisle and followed the man out of the plane. They shook hands and the man offered him the same parting. Jared pulled his phone up, clicking through his messages.
Mom just left to pick him up
Mackenzie’s text was the first one he saw and he smiled, nerves flittering through his stomach.
I can’t wait to be home with you. Alone.
It was Jensen’s text that made him walk faster through the terminal, slinging his bag high up on his shoulder. If he could have run, without getting stopped for looking suspicious? He would have booked it.
“Jared!” He looked up as his name was called, seeing Mackenzie waving at him from a large, black SUV. “Rental.” She shrugged as they both slipped into the car. “Did you get any sleep on the plane?”
“Not really.” Jared shrugged, reaching over to hug her quickly before she could put the car into gear. Mackenzie and Donna had flown back two days earlier to make sure they could get Jensen’s apartment ready and stocked for them to come back home.
“So…” Mackenzie trailed off, reaching over to turn the music down as she glanced over at Jared. “There was some strange things on the inside of Jensen’s door.”
“What do you mean?” Jared asked, racking his brain for anything he might have left out of place the last time he had been in his boyfriend’s apartment.
“They’re in the folder in the back.” She said softly, her tone making Jared’s stomach plunge. Jared found the folder and sat back in his seat, opening the top and tipping into his lap.
Pictures covered his lap and he pushed through them, hands shaking. Pictures of Jared and Jensen walking together through the city, pictures of Jared getting ready for work in his apartment, pictures of Jared in the grocery store, at work, in the subway…
“Pull over.” He said suddenly, pushing the pictures off of his lap, onto the floor. Mackenzie nodded, pulling the car over to the side of the road they were on and parking it as Jared launched himself out of the door and landed hard on his knees, bending over to vomit in the grass.
“Jared?” Mackenzie said softly, placing her hand on his back and rubbing it in small circles. He hadn’t even heard her get out of the car. “What is this?”
“It’s okay.” He said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and sitting back on his knees. “I need to make a phone call.” She nodded, reaching for his arm to steady him as they stood back up. He was barely in the seat again before he had his phone pressed against his ear. “Angela. I need you to call me back, immediately. It’s… it’s about Chad. I don’t think it’s physically him? And I know you’ll be pissed that I didn’t tell you when it started, but he’s been trying to harass me. I’ve been getting things left in my apartment, flowers and notes… and they started at Jensen’s house too. Just… Call me back.”
“Who’s Chad?” Mackenzie broke the silence, swinging the car back onto the road. Jared sighed, pressing his head into his hands, thinking before he answered.
“Ex-boyfriend.” He said finally, looking over at her. “Crazy, ex-boyfriend.” She snorted and Jared was reminded of Jensen, dread settling in his stomach. “Did they… I mean, were they in Jensen’s apartment?”
“No, they were slid under the door.” Mackenzie shook her head. “Why? Is that something we should worry about?”
“No, I don’t think so.” Jared shook his head quickly, trying to quell her rising alarm, and his own. “Before this happened… He was starting shit with me at my place, and so I started staying in Jensen’s apartment. Must have figured that out…” He trailed off, biting her lower lip and looking out the window. “It was one of the things we were arguing about before Jensen got… got hurt.”
“Jared… You need to tell me right now if it’s safe for my brother to go home.” Jared bit his lower lip, sucking it into his mouth.
“I don’t think he would do anything.” He said after a moment. “But I’m going to tell Jensen, and let him decide what he wants to do.”
Mackenzie nodded slowly, focusing her attention back on the road.
“I’ll do whatever he wants to do, but I won’t leave him.”
“Jared.” He met Mackenzie’s eyes and she gave him an exasperated look. “You’re more than welcome at my house, or my parent’s house if he thinks that’s better for you both. It’s kind of obvious you’re a package deal.”
Jared smiled, looking down at his leg where Mackenzie reached over and offered him a comforting squeeze. They drove the rest of the way in silence.
***
“Jen… I don’t care what you want to do.” Jared said, sitting beside Jensen who was propped up in the bed. They had discontinued his vac dressing before he left Germany and Jared had been thoroughly shown how to do the dressing changes that would be required twice a day. Over the dressing, Jensen’s leg was wrapped in ace wraps and secured in a knee immobilizer until the wound was healed enough.
Because the wound was so close to his knee cap, they were worried if something happened to make his knee give out, the muscles that were supposed to keep the knee in place and moving the right way, wouldn’t hold up to the pressure.
“Jared.” Jensen sighed, reaching down to adjust the pillows underneath his outstretched leg. “Babe, did you call Angela?”
“Yeah, she hasn’t called back yet.”
“And they physically broke into your apartment, but not here, right?” Jared nodded, reaching for Jensen’s outstretched hand. “Then call me stupid, but we’re not going to be leaving this apartment. I can’t do shit right now… and I doubt anyone is going to try to break in while we’re in here. Plus, I know how to use a gun. I can teach you, safety off, aim and shoot!” He shrugged, attempting to joke.
“That isn’t even funny, Jensen.” Jared whispered, squeezing his fingers tightly. “I don’t find that even remotely funny.”
“Jared…” Jensen said softly, brushing his thumb across the back of Jared’s hand slowly, rubbing small circles as he went. “I haven’t seen you in months. And there are things that I want to do to you, that I would feel bad about doing in my parent’s house.” He looked up and Jared met deep green, lust filled eyes.
“I hate you.” He whispered, trying to bite back the smile and ignore the arousal pooling in his belly.
“No you don’t.” Jensen smirked, pulling on his hand gently. Jared shifted forward, careful not to jostle Jensen’s leg as he leaned up to allow Jensen to press their lips together. “Don’t worry. We will lock the door, we will wait for Angela’s instructions. We will recite the number for 9-1-1…”
“If you’re going to be a jerk, I’m going to leave you here all alone.” Jared warned, pressing a firm kiss to his lips before pulling back. “I’ll let your mom and Mackenzie know.”
“I’ll tell them.” Jensen said. Jared moved to make him stop, not wanting him to get out of the bed. Although he had been flown back in a stretcher, the time spent in the car and on crutches to get up to the apartment couldn’t have been comfortable. “Mom! Mack!” Jensen hollered, laughing at Jared’s expression.
“Jensen Ross!” Donna opened up the door, walking into the room and trying to look annoyed. “Just because you’re healing and tired doesn’t mean you can revert back to a six year old. It didn’t work then and it won’t work now!”
“Well… it kind of did work.” Mackenzie muttered, shrugging her shoulders as her mom spun around to her.
“I just wanted to let you guys know that I’m beat, and we’re planning on getting some sleep. Jared didn’t sleep much on the plane either… I’ll call you tomorrow?” Jared looked over at Jensen, eyes wide as he realized he was openly kicking his family out.
“We can take a hint.” Mackenzie rolled her eyes. “Just be careful of your damn leg.”
“What?” Donna looked between her kids before realization dawned. “Jensen…”
“Mom, please.” Jensen closed his eyes, leaning back. “I’m sleeping. I love you. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Donna sighed but allowed Mackenzie to pull her out of the room.
“I will be here in the morning with breakfast!” She yelled from the front door. “Jared, honey, text me what you like for coffee!”
“Mom, stalling isn’t going to stop your son from getting laid. He has needs.” Mackenzie’s sharp yelp, probably from Donna smacking her arm, was the last thing they heard before the door snapped shut behind them. The resounding click of the door being locked from the other side had Jared’s shoulders relaxing.
“Seriously?” He sighed, turning back to Jensen. “You kicked your family out?”
“Jared? Shut up and kiss me.”
“Yes, Sergeant.” Jared laughed, kicking off his shoes and climbing up onto the bed fully. He was careful as he lay beside Jensen, not wanting to hit his leg. Jensen watched him patiently as he got himself situated before reaching up and cupping Jared’s cheek.
“God, I missed you.” He whispered, pulling them together. Jensen sighed against Jared’s lips and Jared deepened their kiss. Yeah, he missed this too.
Jared melted against his lips, and Jensen had never felt more at home. They were pressed against each other, chest to chest, lips to lips. There was a dull ache running through his leg, but Jensen was determined to ignore it. They needed this, he needed this.
“Jared.” He whispered against Jared’s mouth, moaning as Jared’s lips fell open, letting him in. He licked into Jared’s mouth slowly, running his tongue against the roof of Jared’s mouth, his hands trailing down Jared’s back. “Mmm… I’ve missed this.”
Jared groaned back in response, breaking their kiss to pull his shirt over his head. He found Jensen’s hands and moved them up above Jensen’s head.
“Let me take care of you.” Jared whispered, sending shivers down Jensen’s entire body. He nodded slowly, gripping the bottom of the headboard to remind him to stay still. Jared kissed him softly once more before moving to place small bites and kisses down his neck. “I love you.” Jared whispered into the hollow of his throat, causing him to moan loudly.
“I love you, too.” He whispered back, arching off the bed as Jared pulled on his shirt. He felt himself hard and straining against the fabric of his sweats and cursed as he looked down at the brace, realizing he would have to take it off to take his pants off. Jared’s eyes trailed over to where he was looking and he smiled softly. “Don’t worry baby.” He leaned to kiss him again. “As much as you want it? I’m not making love with you until I don’t have to worry about that leg.”
Jensen made a noise of protest that was instantly swallowed by another kiss, silencing him. Jared’s hands worked their way down his chest before he was palming the bulge in his pants. Jared’s fingers traced the outline of his length, pressing softly, teasing. Jensen itched to move his hands, to tangle them in Jared’s hair, to trace the outline of the muscles in his back, but he kept his hands in place, gazing down as Jared kissed his way down his chest.
“You’re so amazing, Jensen.” A kiss above his heart. “You have no idea what you do to me.” A kiss below his nipple. “How beautiful you are.” A kiss to his stomach. “Do you?” Jared’s fingers danced along the elastic waistband of his pants and his eyes shot up. They were almost blue today, and Jensen was lost in them.
“Jared.” He whispered, watching as Jared flicked his tongue under the fabric, pulling slowly with his hands. He lifted his hips slowly, letting Jared pull them down until he sprung free, his cock hard and wanting as it pressed against his stomach.
“I love you.” Jared whispered, fingertips pressing into the hardened flesh as his pink tongue flicked out to lick up his entire length. Jensen’s breath hitched as he felt himself disappear into the warm, wet heat of Jared’s mouth.
“God, Jay. I love you too, so much.” He whispered, fighting the urge to throw his head back, needing to look. Jared’s lips were stretched as he worked his way down Jensen’s cock, pumping the flesh each time he moved back. He flicked his tongue around the sensitive head, purring each time a noise was wrenched from Jensen’s throat. His fingers were digging painfully into the wood of the bed and he fought not to buck his hips up and bury himself deep into Jared’s throat. “Fuck.”
Jared laughed around his dick, sending tingles throughout his entire body. He felt the familiar pressure in the base of his spine and he gasped, finally letting his head fall back and his eyes close.
“Jared, I’m close.” He whispered, feeling Jared’s grip tighten, his mouth sucking harder against the swollen tip. Jared moaned around him and Jensen looked down again to see Jared’s free hand working himself in time with what he was doing to Jensen. He moaned loudly, losing himself at watching Jared touch himself.
He came with a shout, Jared shifting to catch everything he had to offer. He licked around Jensen’s spent cock, cleaning up his skin before slipping off the bed and disappearing into the bathroom. Jensen pulled the covers back, arms shaking from his orgasm as he waited for Jared to come back.
“Should have let me return the favor.” He said as Jared crawled in beside him, clothes left in the bathroom.
“Mmmm.” Jared replied, kissing him softly. “Shut up and go to sleep. Do you need any pain meds before?”
“No… I took some right when we got here.” He said, opening his arms for Jared to press against him. Jared sighed happily, tucking his head into Jensen’s shoulder and shutting his eyes. “Hey… Jay?” He whispered after a moment.
“Yeah? Did you change your mind?”
“No… I just… have to tell you something.” Jared’s head rose and he nodded, watching Jensen’s face carefully. “I just… The last couple nights in the hospital…. The nurses said…” He sighed, closing his eyes. “I’m scared, Jay. They said I’ve been having nightmares, and I don’t remember them. But one of the nurses tried to wake me up, not knowing I was dreaming or whatever… and I hit her. And I’m scared I’m going to hurt you.”
“Jen…” Jared smiled softly, kissing him again. “You think they didn’t talk to me about that before we left?” He raised an eyebrow and Jensen looked away.
“So they told you I’m losing it?”
“No, they told me that you went through something pretty traumatic. And that it shouldn’t surprise me if you show signs of PTSD. Which I already was expecting… Healthcare worker, remember?” Jensen swallowed hard, rolling the idea around his head.
“I don’t think I have that.” He said softly, shaking his head. “Wouldn’t I know?” Jared smiled at him softly.
“I won’t try to wake you up. And if anything does happen…. We will figure it out, okay?”
“Maybe I should sleep on the couch.” Jensen whispered. Jared hadn’t seen the nurse’s arm… He felt awful enough and it was someone he didn’t know and would never see again. If he hurt Jared… if he became like Chad…
“I can hear your thoughts from here.” Jared’s fingers against his cheek pulled his attention back. “Go to sleep.” Jensen nodded, watching Jared settle back down against his chest, eyes closed.
“Jared?” He asked against, wincing as he realized Jared had started to drift off. “Can you… can you do me a favor?”
“What babe?” Jared asked, pushing himself into a sitting position.
“In the closet… is my gun case. Can you just open it and put my gun in the nightstand? Please?”
“Jen… why?” Jared shook his head, staring at him. “Why do you need your gun?”
“I just… I do. Okay? I need to know where it is. And I need it close to me, okay?” Jensen could feel himself shaking, powerless to stop it.
“Okay… Yeah, okay.” Jared sighed, getting off the bed and moving to the closet. He fumbled around for a few minutes before he found it and pulled it out. Jensen smiled softly at him and watched as he followed the instructions to open the case, to load the gun (he received a look for that one), and how to use it. “I don’t need to know how to use a gun, Jensen.”
“I just need it by me, okay? I haven’t not slept with a gun in months. And I’m not asking to sleep with it, I’m asking to sleep with you. But I just…. I need to know it’s in reaching distance, okay?” Jensen could feel himself freaking out and he hoped it was that that got Jared to sigh and put the gun in the drawer of his nightstand and not the fact that he was practically begging.
“You’re going to be okay.” Jared said after a moment when he had settled back down. Jensen nodded, a knot in his throat. He swallowed hard, knowing he was tired, knowing he needed to sleep, knowing he was being ridiculous. He could feel his leg throbbing again and he tried to focus on that instead of the itching in his palm, begging to be wrapped around the cool metal of his pistol. He didn’t need to sleep… not really…
“Jensen?” Jensen gasped, eyes flying open in alarm.
“Fuck!” He swore, pain ripping through his leg as his entire body jerked. “What?”
“Babe, its okay.” Jared was sitting at the end of the bed, his arm resting on Jensen’s good leg. “You’ve been sleeping for like… fourteen hours. I figured you could probably use some pain meds?” He held out a glass of water and waited for Jensen to accept it before dropping a few pills in his hand. “Antibiotics are in there as well. I have to do your dressing change, but we should wait for those to kick in.”
“I… I slept?” Jensen asked, blinking around the room. “Did I?”
“No, you didn’t do anything except wake the dead with your snoring and steal all of the blankets.” Jared stood up, laughing. “I’m going to take a shower, okay? I think your mom will be here in a few hours, and the visiting nurses are supposed to come today as well to start your therapy.” Jensen nodded, finishing off the water. “If you’re up for it, I can help you shower before I do the dressing, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” Jensen settled back into the pillows, absently rubbing his leg through the brace. He hadn’t expected to actually fall asleep… never mind for half of a day. He blinked at the alarm clock on his nightstand, trying to get it to focus as he heard the shower kick on. It was 6:00am… Jared was always an early riser.
He snorted to himself and let his mind wander to his boyfriend, naked and in his shower. He sighed, wishing now more than ever his leg was healed enough so he could show Jared just how much he meant to him.
A loud knocking on the door pulled him out of his dirty thoughts. Jensen swore, knowing Jared was probably halfway through washing his hair and completely unable to answer the door.
“Jen?” He called from the shower.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get it!” Jensen called back, lifting his leg off of the pillows and sliding to the side of the bed the same way he was taught in therapy. “Might be the visiting nurses or something. Don’t worry! I got it!” He added, knowing Jared would be struggling to get out faster and to help him.
He reached for the crutches that were leaned up against his nightstand and leaned forward. Nose over toes… Pain shot through his leg and he almost stumbled, pressing more weight onto the crutches to help him steady himself. He exhaled a breath he didn’t remember holding and slowly made his way to the front door.
Someone knocked again and Jensen felt himself blush. He probably should’ve called out he was coming…
He leaned against the wall beside the door, holding a crutch against his side so he could reach for the door.
“Sorry,” He said as the door flew open to reveal a police officer watching him carefully. “Haven’t mastered getting around on these things.” The officer nodded, a small smile on his face. “Are you here because of the pictures? Angela hadn’t called Jared back but she seems more like the action type.”
“I’m sorry?” The officer shook his head, confused. “No… Pictures?”
“Never mind.” Jensen mumbled, shaking his head. “So… can I help you officer?”
“We heard mention of a disturbance up on this floor. I’m doing a routine check to make sure everyone is okay. Are you here alone?”
“No, my boyfriend is in the shower.” Jensen said, peering out into the hallway. “I didn’t hear anything…”
“Well, protocol requires we check the premises. I need to see your… boyfriend before I can clear this apartment. May I come in?”
“Uh, sure.” He nodded, grabbing the crutch again and taking a few hops back. “He should only be a few more minutes. Can I get you anything Officer…?”
“Officer Murray.” The officer replied and Jensen hesitated at the name.
“Have I met you befo-“ Jensen started to turn, gasping as the crutches were knocked out of his arms and crashed down to the floor. The Officer had his gun drawn, pressed into Jensen’s temple and his arm snaked around his front, holding him up.
“You’re not going to make a sound, correct?” His voice was hot against his ear, warmth spreading down his neck. Jensen gulped, his breath coming in gasps as the grip moved from his chest up to his neck. “Move.”
“I… I can’t….” Jensen stammered, trying to get control of himself. He could feel the anxiety creeping up on him, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. He was trained for this shit… So why was he falling apart? The breath against his neck was suffocating, hot and wet and surrounding him completely. He closed his eyes. He flexed his hand against his side, coming up with nothing. Where was his gun? A soldier never leaves his gun!
Hot, wet, sticky blood.
He felt pain rip through him and he blinked his eyes open, trying to get his surroundings.
“Sergeant Ackles? You’re going to be okay.” A voice he didn’t recognize was over him, and he felt himself moving. Why were his legs moving? He was laying down…
“Jensen?” Another voice came from behind him, but he couldn’t turn. Something was against his neck, holding him in place. He felt bile rising up in his stomach. Why couldn’t he move his head? Why was he being held? Where were his men?
He opened his mouth, tried to speak. His voice was like sand, the desert sand that was surrounding him. He could feel the sand everywhere… it was in his ears, his eyes, his nose…. He was drowning in it. He gasped for air, coughing up sand and blood. So much blood….
He had to save them, he had to save his men. The bright lights that had been above him disappeared and he was blinking up into the sun. It was pounding down on him, his uniform was drenched with sweat, sticking to his body. He needed to get it off, to see his own skin. He fumbled with the zipper, hands shaking as he pulled it down, ripping the shirt off.
“Jensen?” Tom. That was Tom. He spun around to see his friend being hauled away, his arms pinned behind his back and legs flailing as he disappeared around the building. No one had seen him yet. He pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, pain ripping through his leg. He bit down on his tongue, tasting blood. So much blood.
He dragged himself to the radio, fumbling with the switch as he whispered into it. He would get help. He would save Tom. They would go home.
Jared watched as Jensen slept, his eyes flickering slowly behind his eyelids. He had woken up at four in the morning, unable to get back to sleep, but content to lay there in Jensen’s arms. He slipped out of Jensen’s arms careful not to wake him and slipped out into the kitchen.
He pulled open the door and smiled when he saw that Donna had really meant it when she said she had gotten them provisions. He hadn’t seen a fridge this full since he had been living with his parents… He reached in for orange juice, pouring himself a glass.
He flicked on the television, making sure to keep the volume low. Jensen needed to sleep… The Doctor had warned him about Jensen waking up and not knowing where he was, if he was safe. What he didn’t understand was exactly what the Doctor had been getting at when he suggested Jared taking care of Jensen at a distance. He was aware of how PTSD worked, knew that they would be learning and picking up on many different triggers. Hell, he knew firsthand how it had worked with Chad at the beginning.
He shook his head, clearing away those thoughts. No, no matter what Jensen was going through? He wasn’t Chad and he wouldn’t become Chad. If for no other reason than Jared wouldn’t let him. He had long since accepted Chad’s actions and behaviors as much of his fault as they had been Chad’s and he would do everything in his power to make sure that didn’t happen to Jensen.
He let himself sink back into the cushions and let himself pretend to get lost in Chopped. His eyes kept flicking to the clock on the wall, his ears attuned to any noise coming from the other room. When he started to hear movement and a soft groan he pulled himself off the couch and found the small bag of prescriptions Donna had picked up on her way to bringing Jensen home.
He poured a glass of water and grabbed the pills he needed before slipping back into the bedroom. He sunk down on the end of the bed and cautiously reached out to shake Jensen’s leg. He may be resolved to knowing Jensen would never become Chad, but he certainly wasn’t stupid. He would be staying at a safe distance, thank you very much.
Short of Jensen probably jerking his leg harder than he should have, waking him up didn’t go too badly. He smiled as he slipped into the bathroom. He got under the warm spray, sighing in relief as the hot water pounded down on his back. Hopefully Jensen would be getting physical therapy today on his leg and he himself was getting hot water therapy. He jumped when he heard the knocking on the door and contemplated getting out, soap be dammed.
“I got it!” Jensen fired at him and he smiled, knowing there wouldn’t be much that would keep his boyfriend down. It would be a struggle getting him to listen to the Doctor’s orders once that leg started feeling better…
“Jensen?” Jared called out, hearing a crash from the other room. He wiped his hair back from his eyes, content he had gotten enough of the conditioner out of his hair and reaching to shut off the water. “Babe, you okay?”
“Yup!” He heard a muffled yell from the kitchen, and it did nothing to calm his nerves. What if Jensen had fallen on his way to the door? Or dropped a crutch and was stuck standing in the middle of the hallway, unable to move?
“I’ll be right out!” He yelled, grabbing a towel and drying off as fast as he could. He flipped his hair over, wringing out as much of the excess water as he could. He reached for the clothes he put on the toilet seat and pulled them on quickly, throwing the towel over the shower bar before pushing the door open with a puff of steam.
“Jen, where are--” He stopped short, his heart in his throat as he took in the scene before him. Jensen was standing, slumped up against an officer in full uniform, his feet at strange angles. The Officer had him supported with an arm around his throat and a gun against his head.
“Hello, Jared.”
“Chad.” His eyes ran over Jensen’s body, seeing the steady, if not fast paced, rise and fall of his chest. “What are you doing?”
“What am I doing? You haven’t seen me in almost a year, Jared. Don’t you want to ask me how I am?”
Jared swallowed hard, tearing his eyes away to look into Chad’s face. He hadn’t changed much, except for his eyes. His eyes were harder, darker as they stared back at him.
“Did you get my flowers? My pictures? I took special care to get them to you.” Chad smiled, looking Jared up and down as he did so.
“You’re insane.” Jared felt himself laugh, the pounding of his heart ringing through his ears, threatening to drown him. “You are seriously insane.”
“Me?” Chad laughed, and Jared swallowed hard as he saw his arm flex tighter around Jensen’s throat. “Well, I guess that’s your type then.” He nudged Jensen and Jared tore his eyes away from Chad to focus on Jensen’s face. His boyfriend’s eyes were closed and he was muttering something under his breath. Jared held his breath listening.
“Jensen.” He whispered as realization hit. Jensen was gone, out of this room, muttering radio commands for a hostage situation. There was a gun pressed to his temple, an arm around his throat, and Jared had never felt more helpless than he did right then, staring across the room at Jensen buried deep into another world.
“Now, I think it’s time we stop dancing around this subject.” Chad’s voice brought him back into their current situation. He looked up, anger spiking through him as he met Chad’s calm eyes that were staring him down. He forced himself to hold the gaze, to keep his attention on Chad and not Jensen. He couldn’t be stupid about this…
“What subject would that be?” He said slowly, trying not to let it show that he was looking around the room, checking for anything that could help.
“Don’t bother.” Chad snorted. “I can shoot faster than you can pick up something and lodge it in my direction. If you play nice? We can all walk out of here alive. Or well, he can’t walk, but you get the picture.”
“What do you want, Chad?”
“Isn’t that obvious?” Chad shook his head, chuckling. “I want you, Jared. I want you to stop all this nonsense, stop playing pretend up here, and come back home. Don’t you think you’ve taken this just a bit too far? I bet you’ve gotten this poor sap to believe you love him. I get it, you didn’t like how I was treating you. Lesson learned.”
“You stabbed me, Chad. You fucking tried to gut me!” Jared found himself yelling, his entire body shaking as Chad chuckled again.
“You always were the drama queen.”
“What if I don’t?” Jared said after a moment, watching as Chad’s face changed and hardened.
“Then I will kill him.” Chad said simply, shaking Jensen slightly. Jensen’s leg slid awkwardly on the ground and he almost pitched over, a strangled sound coming from his throat as Chad yanked him back up by his neck. “Don’t move.” Chad warned, stopping Jared in his place. Jensen gasped in Chad’s arms, blinking his eyes rapidly as he came back to them, taking in the situation.
“Jared.” He whispered, his eyes wide.
“It’s okay, baby.” Jared tried to smile as he met Jensen’s eyes. He could feel the tears starting to pool as he turned his attention back to Chad. “You have to promise.” He could feel his throat thicken and forced himself to ignore Jensen’s sound of protest.
“I promise you, I will not hurt him.” Jared swallowed hard, shutting his eyes as he let Chad’s voice wash over him, offering promises to change, to be better for him, that they could be okay again. But instead of love and respect, Chad’s voice ooze poison and it made Jared feel sick. He opened his eyes again, nodding once.
“Fuck, Jared. Don’t do this. You know exactly what’s going to happen.” Jensen grunted as Chad tried to cut him off, slamming the back of his head with the butt of his gun and releasing Jensen as he toppled down to the floor.
“Chad! Fuck!” Jared went to move to Jensen’s side, his eyes scanning Jensen’s body for movement. Chad’s hand slammed against his chest, stopping him, a warning in his eyes as he shook his head. Jensen’s legs shifted on the ground and Jared let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Let me say goodbye.”
“There’s no need.” Chad said above Jensen’s groan. Jared swallowed hard, watching as Jensen gripped the side of the bed, pulling himself into a sitting position and wincing at the way his leg was twisted. Jared blinked, tears slipping from his eyes and flinched as Chad lifted his hand to wipe them away. “I’m all you need, Jare.”
“Jared.” Jensen whispered from the ground, pleading with his eyes. Jared opened his mouth to explain, to say anything, to explain that he knew. He felt it too. The pain in his chest, like his heart was being ripped apart, the clenching in his gut, the pounding in his head. Jensen’s eyes widened and he jerked his head over to the left. Jared glanced over. The bed, his pajama’s laid out, Jensen’s night stand… He gasped, eyes flicking back to Chad’s face.
“I need to pack some of my stuff.” He said, nodding quickly. “Jensen isn’t going to want to ship me my things, you know?”
“We can get you everything you need, babe.” Chad’s face started to relax, though his hand was still curled around the pistol, his free hand resting on his utility belt.
“Chad, baby…” Jared said, his stomach churning at the use of the pet name, forcing a smile onto his face as he reached out to run his hand down Chad’s arm. “There are some things that can’t be replaced.” Chad looked down at his hand, nodding slowly.
Jared smiled, stepping away from him and exhaling as he went, moving to Jensen’s nightstand. He could feel both sets of eyes on his back and he inhaled deeply, trying to keep his shoulders from shaking. He pulled open the drawer slowly, Jensen’s pistol laid on top in perfect reach. He reached into the drawer, his mind blanking on everything Jensen told him except safety, point, shoot. His fingers closed around the cool metal and he brushed his thumb across the safety, clicking it off as he lifted it, barrel pointed straight into Chad’s chest.
“You think I’m stupid, Jared?” A second click echoed his and Jared saw Chad standing back, his arm extended and his own gun pointing at Jensen’s head. “Like I wouldn’t check all the drawers while you’re lover was having his mini mental breakdown?” Jared swallowed hard, eyes darting between Jensen and Chad.
Jensen met his eyes, and Jared watched him exhale slowly, his chest rising and falling. He nodded once, looking up at Chad and then back at Jared, before nodding again.
Do it. He could hear Jensen’s voice in his head. He nodded again. Do it, Jared. He looked at the gun in his hand, then back at Chad.
“Drop it Jared, and we will walk out of here.” Chad was saying, his voice barely registering as it faded away. All Jared could hear was his pounding heart, all he could feel was the heavy metal in his hand, and all he could see were emerald eyes staring up at him from the floor, completely calm, completely trusting.
Do. It.
Jared exhaled and the world around him stopped.
Chapter Twelve: Clean