Comments | lotrips_remix: Remix of Dani: The One Part

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Remix of Dani: The One Part

Jul 19, 2009 07:02

Title: The One Part
Author: eff_reality
Original story: Beautiful Lie by escribo
Pairing: Dom/Ali; Dom/Billy; Billy/Ali
Rating: R
Summary: Dom and Ali seek answers in each other.
Warnings: Het. Het a-plenty, I'm afraid.
Pre-reveal Notes: Thanks to escribo for providing such an incredible story to remix. You probably have a very specific idea of how this ( Read more... )

2009 remix

Comments 13

juke_box_dive July 19 2009, 21:07:16 UTC

I really quite enjoyed this. I read it this morning but didn't want to comment until I had time to do so properly and I have to say that the story stuck with me. It's all I can do not to beg you to co-write an entire arc! I love it that much. And I love it because I love the Ali. I love when she's not written as a throw away character or as a victim or a villain but fully formed as a character in her own right. You've created her beautifully while holding onto the relationship between Billy and Dom without having Ali give an inch. Nicely constructed. My two favorite bits are when Billy is seeking Dominic's skin and Ali sees it and when Ali's thoughts when Dom goes down on her. Really, thank you. I know that the remix isn't really a gift like an exchanged, and it's more about what you as the writer wanted to see, but this has been a gift. You couldn't have written anything that would have made me happier to read.

juke_box_dive July 26 2009, 12:43:44 UTC

re: author. I knew it! :D Excellent work. I love it, love it, love it.

eff_reality July 26 2009, 14:34:56 UTC

BWEE! I am SO GLAD you found some enjoyment in it. Thank you for the original!

stormatdusk July 20 2009, 08:46:51 UTC

only a small indication of all the touches that had come before it, a tiny aftershock in the wake of years of touches

this is heartbreaking, for all three of them. and yes, it's wonderful that there are three fully formed characters here, not just two and a shadow. really good stuff, this.

eff_reality July 27 2009, 15:29:43 UTC

Thank you thank you thank you! I'm so glad it worked for you.

it's wonderful that there are three fully formed characters here, not just two and a shadow
Thank you. I feel like whenever there's a woman involved, she ends up being the shadow. I like to work against that as much as possible. :)

Thanks again!

foxrafer July 20 2009, 10:06:34 UTC

You've matched the emotional impact of the original, added Ali's punch to the gut, and made my heart break for them.

there's something strange and pitiful that permeates the air between them, a sad sort of connection, and perhaps it's why they get on so well. They both know what it's like to not quite fully have him.

Dom gets to share Billy's soul. Ali gets to share Billy's life.
It's such a great way of putting this, and really tears at you. This whole piece is wonderful.

And this a tiny aftershock in the wake of years of touches
is a fantastic line.

eff_reality July 27 2009, 15:30:21 UTC

Oh thank you SO much.

You've matched the emotional impact of the original
This is such a huge compliment, as I bow down to the original.

Thank you!

cordeilla33 July 20 2009, 18:40:45 UTC

Very Rarely do you see Ali as a character and not just a 'side note' or in a short conversation shown in the past or in Billy's memories. Yes, she was a very solid character in this and how she was to deal with Dom, 'the other woman'...who would win? She just wants to know what does Dom have over her that attracts Billy to him over and over again...and though she knows he has that certain charisma that no one really can resist...then have that surround Billy for 24/7 - she should not be so surprised. It's a bit sad that they both had to make out...just so they can 'taste' Billy on one another ( ... )

eff_reality July 27 2009, 15:32:33 UTC

Wow, I can't believe you read this! THANK YOU!

Yeah, it's rare that I like the way Ali's written, and from what little I've seen of her public persona, I really like her, so that's a shame.

Yes, Billy is kind of a dick in this, but I suppose he can get away with it for how he looks in a kilt. :)

Thanks again!

itstonedme July 30 2009, 02:10:51 UTC

This was really wonderfully done, not only as an insightful and probing remix of an exceptional original fic, but on its own merit as an examination of a character too easy to overlook in the world of slash. Great prose: spare, specific, and totally understandable. Congrats.

eff_reality July 30 2009, 18:41:22 UTC

Thank you so, so much. Words I will cherish. :)