Fic: Familiar Faces by miera
Title: Familiar Faces
Author: miera_c
Summary: The Atlantis expedition may be over officially, but the team finds ways to stay together while building lives back on Earth.
Pairings: Lorne/Heightmeyer, mentions of Lorne/Cadman, McKay/Keller, Dex/Cadman and Teyla/Kannan
Main characters: Kate, Evan and pretty much everyone else I could throw in
Rating: R (mild)
Warnings: Death of a very minor character, off screen
Spoilers: The Return, some for S4 and S5 related to Teyla
Beta: grav_ity who is not to blame since the story changed a lot after she saw it.
Disclaimer: Not mine, we only wish they were.
Author's Notes: Written for the lostcityfound "We'll Always Have Pegasus" challenge for the prompt: Evan Lorne/Kate Heightmeyer - Back on Earth afterwards, looking for familiar faces. This is an AU of "The Return" and what would've happened in the two years following.
Kate doesn't know how to maintain her professional distance on this one. Her job is caring for the mental health of these people, but how is she supposed to do that when she can't even get outside herself right now? Everything they've been working towards, everything they've gone through for three years is just over now. They didn't win or lose, it just ended. No second chances, no miracles, and the feeling of pointlessness is overwhelming.
She is among the first group to return to Earth. She stands at the foot of the ramp, watching her friends and teammates come through the gate, all of them looking around at the grim concrete of Stargate Command with similar expressions. Kate realizes that the Atlantis Expedition may officially be over as far as the IOA and the government are concerned, but for the people who've come back, it won't be that simple. They're going to need help readjusting to life here on Earth, whatever paths they end up taking.
She seizes that conviction like a lifeline. Up until that moment, she hadn't known for sure what to do next, but before the week is out, she requests to be assigned to the SGC.
***
For a couple of weeks everyone lingers around Colorado. A number of people who have received job offers start reluctantly preparing to leave. Kate suspects that deep down they were all waiting for news, for something to snatch this defeat back for them as had happened so many times before. But General O'Neill and Mr. Woolsey come back from Atlantis with further empty assurances that the Ancients would be in touch and that seems to be the final nail in the coffin.
Kate's never sure who starts the whole thing but they all end up at Simpson's house. Nearly everyone still in Colorado is there, and she thinks they have enough alcohol for three times as many people.
They need every drop, though.
She nurses one bottle of beer, wandering through the house, watching as small groups of people waver between attempts at remembering the good times and sharing their misery. She listens, hovering at the edges of rooms and cliques. It was a hazard of the job, being eternally set apart from everyone. Nobody wants to tell the shrink something that could get on a record. But she'd been in the city from the beginning, and that counted for more with some people.
She won't see them again, not regularly. Her request for a position at Cheyenne has been denied. She's going to a military hospital nearby, though. She won't be out of reach.
Carson is so drunk his accent is making him unintelligible. Radek is muttering in Czech and possibly French, somehow still arguing with Rodney even though they're both too smashed to know what they're saying and they're speaking entirely different languages. Not that such trivialities had ever stopped them before.
Many of the military people are grouped in the dining room. Laura is picking at the label of her beer bottle, talking about some off-world mission that had involved a harvest and a food fight. Evan is next to her, seated at the head of the table, which is fitting since he was the second in command of the military in Atlantis. He's smiling during Laura's story but it doesn't reach his eyes, and Kate hesitates for a moment because the expression is so unnatural on him.
The story ends. Laura looks at Evan and Kate unwittingly becomes a witness to the silent exchange between them. Kate doubts they know what she saw, and she turns away silently. She isn't surprised that they both slip out of the party not long after, but she pushes aside a tiny sliver of sadness.
The last person she finds is John. He's sitting on the stairs, staring into nothing, a beer bottle dangling from his fingers. He's holding a cell phone to his ear, his expression so dark that nobody else is willing to approach him.
Kate plops down next to him and ignores the glare. She's received enough of them from John Sheppard over the years to become immune. Besides, she can guess what is upsetting him, because she's worried too.
John folds the cell phone up with a snap and takes a long swig from his drink. Kate doesn't look at him, and doesn't raise her voice. "She's not coming?"
"No." He knocks back the rest of his beer. "Dammit," he mutters, putting the bottle down and standing up.
"You okay to drive?" She knows exactly where he's going, and the relationship at work here is one of the few she really doesn't understand fully in all its levels of complexity. Possibly it's not something she's meant to understand, really, and she respects that. But she also doesn't want to let John get behind the wheel while both pissed off and drunk. He's used to puddle jumpers that respond to his thoughts and his car doesn't have shields.
He pauses for a second and glances at her. She can see the emotions churning in him that he always forces back, but he's not drunk. "Yeah," he tells her, and his lips twist in a bitter smile. "I'm good."
Kate grins back at him mirthlessly and nods. John turns and she doesn't know if he hears her last words, spoken lowly to his back. "Good luck."
She stays to help settle the people too drunk to drive or too tired. She goes back to her new apartment for a couple of hours before returning with coffee, donuts and Gatorade. There is no sign of John or Elizabeth, or Laura and Evan.
She concentrates on rehydrating her hung over friends and doesn't let herself dwell on anything else.
***
Working at the hospital is jarring. Kate knows any job she took would probably have its weird moments. At this point, going to the grocery store is still a shock to her system (she's lost count of the number of times she's thought of going to the mess hall only to remember if she wants food she has to cook it herself), so work is going to be strange.
But the break isn't complete, because some of the injured personnel in the hospital are from the SGC, so she goes back and forth between men and women who have no clue about the Stargate program to counseling someone who just watched an alien species kill thousands of people on a single planet. After three years of dealing with the psychological fall-out of the Wraith she should have be able to handle an evil, powerful alien zealots bent on genocide, but she can't come up with much to say.
She starts drinking coffee almost constantly. It's a small rebellion, after three years of rationing.
The worst is dealing with the come-ons from her male patients. Military men had an aversion to psychologists. She was a threat to their ability to work, to stay in the service, to their manhood. A lot of them responded to her by becoming aggressively sexual. She'd forgotten about this. Some of the military personnel when they first got to Atlantis reacted this way, but over time she stopped being both a woman and a shrink and became a teammate.
Now she doesn't feel like she's any of the three.
***
When she breaks, she's at home on a Saturday. Somehow the ordinary chores of laundry and shopping and cooking get interrupted when she wonders if Atlantis was just a dream, and then the tears start and she can't make them stop. Her throat keeps tightening and the sobs just well up again.
The phone rings and she fumbles it out of the cradle, somehow never thinking she could just let it ring. She croaks out a hello.
"Kate? It's Carson. How are you?"
"I'm-" She can't say anything else. She covers her mouth to stifle the sobbing.
"Kate?"
She makes an indecipherable noise into the phone and then manages to swallow. "Sorry, I'm just..." She doesn't know a word for how she is in this moment.
"I'll be right there."
He hangs up before she can tell him not to come. It would've been lip service anyway.
For the fifteen minutes it takes for Carson to get to her apartment, Kate tries to get herself under control. She dries her eyes and blows her nose, drinks some water, makes herself breathe slowly. When he knocks, she goes to the door, trying to appear calm.
When she sees him standing there on the doorstep, his forehead creased with worry and his eyes full of sympathy, she breaks all over again. Carson doesn't ask any questions. He steps inside and closes the door, puts his arms around her and just holds her while she cries and cries until she mutters something about becoming dehydrated. He laughs and squeezes her once more before letting go. There's a big wet stain on his shirt from her tears and she starts to apologize but he cuts her off.
There's another knock at the door and at her inquiring look, Carson holds up his hands. "I didn't call anyone."
It's Laura, and the bright expression on her face dies once she gets a good look at Kate. "Oh, honey," is all she says, and then she's hugging Kate tightly and if her tear ducts weren't exhausted Kate probably would be crying yet again.
The two of them stay for hours, talking about nothing, channel surfing and offering a running commentary, not saying anything when she slips away to wash her face and ends up showering and returning in the warmest, heaviest sweats she owns even though it's warm tonight. Dinner is popcorn and ice cream, and she falls asleep with her head on Carson's shoulder, cuddled up between him and Laura on her couch with a blanket tucked over her lap.
***
Every few weeks, someone hosts a dinner or a movie night or celebrates a birthday or an anniversary. Kate goes to all of them. Though she's not at the SGC, it doesn't stop her from feeling responsible or from taking phone calls from anyone from Atlantis, no matter the time. These gatherings are the only time she gets to see everyone.
Though even if she was working at Stargate Command, she's not sure she'd see any more of her former teammates.
She hears things at the parties. She knows that the SGC has split most of the Atlantis personnel up, absorbing them into the existing team structure. Kate suspects this is some misguided plan to help with the reintegration process, by forcing the expedition team to interact with other SGC personnel, but it's cut everyone off from much of their support structure. Whatever the military's opinion of the way things had worked in Pegasus, the usual rules and regs didn't apply to them all, not anymore.
She knows that John's team is rumored to be a punishment for new personnel at the SGC because he's running through Marines at a scary rate. Evan and Laura are the only two people who ended up on the same gate team, and Kate wonders if the rumors had reached General Landry, even though she knows (because Laura had to tell someone) that Laura and Evan are just friends again. Kate stifles her relief over that fact but she still resists when Laura wants to go out to bars just to get out of the house. Kate's still not quite comfortable with the bustle and noise of so many strangers.
John attends game nights occasionally, usually when Carson drags him by the hair or Rodney is in town. The one person who never shows up to anything is Elizabeth. Two months into their return - or The Exodus as some of them are starting to call it - she and Carson corner John in Carson's kitchen.
"Have you talked to her?" Kate asks.
John looks away. "I've left a few messages."
She shares a worried look with Carson. "Someone needs to see her. She's not returning calls or e-mail. Miko ran into her in the grocery store and said Elizabeth practically bolted for the door."
John straightens up and Kate remembers belatedly how he tended to react when something was wrong with Elizabeth. Carson seems to notice it too, but he sighs. "I'll go over there myself." It's on the tip of Kate's tongue to offer, but he shakes his head. "She'll get a wee bit less defensive if it's me, I hope."
"She should go to dinner with us next week, with Rodney," John puts in.
She leaves them to plot out the details for forcing Elizabeth back into the world, at least temporarily, and wanders back to the living room. She leans in the doorway, sipping her wine and looking at her friends. Are any of them really doing much better than Elizabeth? They may be here but she can see the tension lingering in all of them, like it is in her. Things are better, but that's not saying much.
"Are we this entertaining, doc?" Evan sidles up alongside her, beer in hand. He raises his eyebrows at the expression on her face. She smoothes her features out automatically, but it's a bit late to deny the grim turn her thoughts have taken.
"I was just thinking, this is becoming routine for us." She gestures with her glass to the people in clumps sitting and standing around the house, nibbling on food and drinking.
"I guess so," Evan says.
Kate shakes her head. "It still doesn't feel normal."
It's his turn to sigh. "No." He looks at her. "Will it ever?"
"Given enough time, maybe. There's not a lot of precedent to go by."
He must catch something in her face or her voice because he turns and leans in closer. She can smell his scent now and it reminds her of things she probably ought not think too much about. He frowns, worried. "But?"
Frustration and concern make her forget to treat him as a patient. Instead she tells the truth. "I don't think we'll ever forget."
He absorbs that for a minute. "I'm not sure I want to," he says quietly.
Kate blinks in surprise and then smiles a little. "Me either."
***
Kate doesn't see Rodney during that trip, although she speaks to him on the phone. Carson comes by the hospital to check in on one of his patients a few days later, though, and fills her in on the gossip over coffee. Somehow, even though Carson had been the one to bring Elizabeth to the restaurant, she ended up leaving with John. What had happened after that was anyone's guess, but the next afternoon, dressed in her best suit, Elizabeth had invaded the SGC and Landry's office. Rumors were circulating that she'd been overheard shouting at the general before stalking out again with a take-no-prisoners look in her eye.
Kate never finds out what happened, exactly, but within two weeks, the SGC announces a reorganization of the gate teams. John is assigned a couple Atlantis Marines and Carson starts training to join a field team. And Kate gets an offer to join the medical staff at the mountain.
Five months into their return, Rodney and Colonel Carter swap jobs. She goes back to Area 51 and Rodney joins John's team. Radek is already back, full of horror stories about graduate students, and happy to take over scientific research at Cheyenne Mountain from Carter, since he never liked going off-world to begin with. Kate finds Carson and John lurking in the corridor outside Radek's lab a couple days after Rodney arrives. Rodney and Radek are bellowing at one another, waving their arms and occasionally scribbling on white boards and sometimes using their markers as weapons.
Kate doesn't miss the smile lurking around Carson's mouth. John is leaning against the doorjamb with the most contented expression she's seen on him in a long time.
***
Laura hosts her own promotion party, but they all have this down to a science by now, so by the time the party really kicks off, there's enough food and way more than enough alcohol and supplies to keep the drinks flowing for hours. As it grows late, Kate drifts into the kitchen to start cleaning things up. Elizabeth and Radek are helping, Elizabeth because she's just like Kate in this regard, and Radek because he's too polite to see Elizabeth gathering empty cups and plates and not help.
Evan finds her rinsing out glasses. "The party's not over yet, Cinderella," he says, standing beside her at the sink and nudging her shoulder with his.
Kate rolls her eyes. They've had this discussion several times now. "I've told you, the kitchen is where the food is." There's a reason those peanut butter chocolate things that Miko usually brings to these parties never make it out to the dining or living rooms. Miko, Kate and Elizabeth usually end up eating almost all of them, with a few getting snatched by John or Radek or Carson or the other people who drift into the kitchen during the party. Kate likes being in the kitchen to nibble and chat with people in the more quiet areas of the house.
Also she's her grandmother's granddaughter, and Grandmother was an old-school German hausfrau down to her bones. It's not clean until it's been scrubbed, laundered or sanitized. Twice.
Evan snorts, but he snags a little hot dog in a bun and shoves it in his mouth before he goes out to the living room to gather more glasses for her. Elizabeth is fussing over the food and Evan comes back and grabs a dishtowel to start drying the glasses Kate has washed.
He's been doing this the last few parties, showing up to help out later in the evening. Kate's wondered distractedly if he was trying to spend time with Elizabeth. She'd teased him before, more than once, about having a crush on Elizabeth, although in Kate's opinion a lot of the men in Atlantis had felt that way about their leader. Some more strongly than others. But he hasn't mentioned anything about seeing Elizabeth outside of occasional movie nights or game nights when Elizabeth joins them. Even after Elizabeth's trip to D.C. to bring the weight of all her political connections to bear on the SGC to help her people, she still doesn't come to all the gatherings regularly.
Of course, Elizabeth has been busy. The Milky Way galaxy is a chaotic swirl of organizations now with the Goa'uld gone. A perfect environment for a born politician and negotiator. She's been going off-world with either John or Evan's teams, or SG-1 when she can. Kate still sees a wistfulness in her expression a lot of the time, but at least she's not living like a shut-in anymore.
Evan leans against the counter, talking easily with them both. Kate's intent on scrubbing out the last pan in the sink, and she doesn't notice the silence has fallen right away until he says her name, "Um, Kate?"
"Yes. What?" She looks up. Elizabeth and Radek are both nowhere to be seen and Evan is looking at her nervously. Why would he be nervous? She frowns.
"While we, ah, have a moment here, I was wondering if you wanted to maybe have dinner some time next week."
The words are slightly rushed and she gets more confused. "Sure. I think I'm free on Tuesday and Wednesday." He's going off-world later in the week, she knows, because it'll be his first mission without Captain Cadman, and Laura has been teasing him about it for two weeks.
She goes back to her pan but Evan puts a hand on her arm. "Kate," he says slowly. "I'm asking you to have dinner with me."
She starts to tell him she knows that but his eyes are amused and realization rushes in on her and her cheeks flood with heat because Evan is asking her out on a date and she didn't notice.
"Oh," she blurts out eloquently. "Okay." Her heart is suddenly racing in her chest and she fumbles for something to say that won't be inane. She's too aware that at the moment her face is red as a beet, she's got several locks of hair falling chaotically in random places and the front of her shirt is wet from washing dishes. He had to ask her right now, while she feels completely ridiculous? Laura's party is an awkward venue for this to begin with but she pushes that thought aside.
Evan lets her arm go and then doesn't seem to know what to do with his hands. He rubs his palms against his jeans. "So, um, it that still a yes?" he asks. He's trying to be nonchalant but it doesn't quite work.
"Of course!" She blurts it out so loudly she jumps and her face tries to find a blush that's beyond bright red. This is stupid. She's traveled to other galaxies and faced her share of dangers and one guy asking her out is turning her into a pathetic adolescent. True, he's a friend and she's always lusted after him a little bit, but she should have some sort of self-control, here. She deals with human emotions for a living, for the love of God.
Then again, the last six months have taught her that she's just as fallible as anyone. It was probably a good lesson to relearn every now and again.
Evan grins at her, a mix of smug and relieved, and she kind of wants to smack him for that. But he straightens up before she can decide if she should rinse the suds off her hands first. "Tuesday? I'll pick you up at 6?"
She nods and he flashes her another smile, the one that shows off his dimples, and disappears from the kitchen, leaving her with her hands in the cooling dishwater and wondering if she's dreaming that she's going on a date with Evan Lorne in three days.
That makes her think of something else, and she resolves before she leaves the house to have a talk with the hostess.
***
She should be used to seeing Evan in civilian clothes by now, however, he doesn't usually come to game nights wearing black trousers and a black button-down shirt that hugs his body like a second skin. She's still finishing getting ready when he shows up at her door, and she retreats to the bathroom for a moment.
Her cheeks are pink, from how he looks, from him looking over her simple black dress with open appreciation. "Down girl," she mutters at her reflection.
She's mortally afraid they'll run into someone they know at dinner. Colorado Springs isn't that big of a town and invariably the moment when you least want to run into someone you know is when you can't escape them.
"Expecting someone?" Evan quips as they wait for their entrees to arrive and her eyes dart nervously all over the room.
She gives a guilty start. "No, of course not."
"You look like you're waiting for rescue, doc," Evan says, eyeing her a little uneasily.
Kate decides to change the subject, so she groans and grabs another roll from the basket of bread. "Please don't call me that."
"I've always called you that."
"Everyone always called me that. There were days in At-" she cuts herself off, remembering that they're not among friends right now where they can speak openly. "The city that I forgot I had a name."
"Please, I think some people still think my first name is actually 'major'," he shoots back.
They both grin at that and Evan leans forward, arms crossed on the table. "It's okay, you know, that we're here. Together. There were never any regulations prohibiting military and civilian personnel on the expedition getting involved."
"Yes, I know that," she says wryly. If anyone knew the full extent of the "relations" between the Atlantis personnel, it was her. If she wasn't bound to confidentiality, she had some stories that would make his hair curl.
"Besides we're just having dinner. At least that was as far as I'd planned..." There's a twinkle in his eye that does something ridiculous and wonderful to her stomach and her cheeks flush against her will.
He looks smug as he lifts his glass and she decides however gorgeous he is when he's flirting with her, he needs to be taken down a peg or two. "I'm not worried about being seen with you, Evan. I already spoke to the one person I felt I needed permission from to be here."
"Who is that?" he asks, taking a sip.
"Laura."
He chokes on his water and his ears turn a gratifying shade of red. She just raises her eyebrows and waits as he sputters. "Kate, look, me and Laura, I don't know what you've heard, but it's not... it wasn't a thing, you know? It was just..."
She lets him babble for a minute before she pats his hand. "I know. But I had to check with Laura after you asked me out, or I risked breaking the code."
"The code?"
"The Girl Code. The one that says you tell your friend you're interested in a guy she used to see and make sure she's okay with it before you go out with him."
She hadn't intended to let that piece of information slip, but he smiles at her, not in a cocky, annoying way but with genuine happiness. "Oh."
She waves a hand, ignoring the fluttery feeling in her belly. "Laura told me all the pertinent details and assured me she didn't have a problem with this."
Now he looks worried again. "Ah, what exactly are 'pertinent' details?"
She grins. "Nope, that's against the code too."
Dinner arrives and Evan swiftly shifts the conversation to something other than his sexual history with her best friend.
The rest of the evening is just as comfortable, with the occasional moments of electricity that make her palms sweat. But the goodnight kiss at her doorstep makes her whole body tingle. Her hands find their way around his shoulders and into his hair before they come up for oxygen.
"This next mission better not take too long," he mutters. His fingers brush against the curve of her cheek lightly and she gets goose bumps.
"Why not?"
"Because I want to get back here and make you dinner as soon as possible."
"I should warn you, I'm not a big fan of frozen pizza," she teases. His lips brush her throat and she just barely holds in an undignified whimper.
"Trust me," he says in a low voice that shoots along her spine. Then Evan kisses her again and Kate forgets the time and place and her own name for a minute before he reluctantly lets her go.
She goes in after he leaves and slumps back against her door. The mission is supposed to be no more than two days and she finds herself praying it won't get extended. She has a feeling every minute from now until she sees him again is going to drag painfully.
***
She hasn't slept with anyone in a very long time, but Kate's not sure that explains why this feels so incredibly good. Evan's mouth and his tongue are doing amazing things to her breasts but it's his hands that are driving her crazy. They're warm and the calluses on his fingers are rough against her skin and he's not even doing anything to her, just touching her skin all over, stroking her body and she's panting and squirming and nearly out of control already just from this.
"God, Evan," she breathes out as he licks and she clutches his back even harder. His palm smoothes down her hip and she whimpers. "Your hands..."
She can practically feel the look he gives her and he moves, bringing his hands up higher and kissing her hungrily. She arches into his touch, feeling almost like she's coming alive against his skin. It's not like she doesn't touch people. Laura's always good for a hug, and so is Carson, but then again, the professional wall still lingers. She doesn't casually touch people the way someone like Carson does, so maybe she is starved for that simple level of contact with other humans.
And now she's getting a massive overdose, she thinks with a grin, wriggling her hips and making Evan's eyes cross. They're face to face in her bed and she presses her naked body against his and lets out an ecstatic sigh at the feeling of his bare skin against hers.
That she's been wanting Evan's body for some time now - far longer than they've been dating, if she's honest with herself - probably is just making it that much more intense.
She's wrapped around him, their bodies rocking together and Evan trails kisses down her neck. He's muttering against her throat, "Jesus, Kate, want you..." He bites her shoulder, his hips moving more roughly. "Wanted this for so long."
She nods, because she has too. She holds on tighter because if she doesn't anchor herself she's afraid she'll fly apart. "Don't stop," she grunts out.
"Never," he breathes into her mouth as he kisses her again, moving inside her deep and hard until she squeezes her eyes shut and her breath comes out in a yell. Evan's right there with her and it's seconds or maybe just heartbeats later she hears him cursing and calling her name. Why did she wait so long to do this with him? Right now she has no idea.
***
They aren't the first of the Atlantis team to pair off since coming back to Earth, not by a long shot, but Kate still feels like her sex life is suddenly everyone's business. Laura was off-world for a couple of weeks with SG-1, her new team, so when she comes back, she bounces into Kate's office, sits down in a chair and pins her with an expectant look. Kate blushes in spite of herself and Laura cackles with laughter, then demands details so they can compare notes. The door to her office is still open and Kate's fairly sure Bill Lee just got scarred for life.
She and Evan go to John's birthday party "together" and get teased by a number of people. It's more than a little embarrassing.
She complains about the scrutiny to Evan a couple of times, but he now has very effective methods of distracting her from her train of thought and no shame about using them.
It's a matter of weeks after they start dating that she's cleared a drawer in her dresser for him and his toiletries have found places in her bathroom. But it really hits her while she's at the grocery store and grabs a box of cereal she knows Evan eats in addition to her Special K. In all her life, she'd never just fallen into a relationship this quickly. Granted, there'd only been two long-term ones in her past before Atlantis, but with each of them, it had taken time to sort out roles and expectations and so forth before she felt comfortable enough to have the other person underfoot all the time.
There'd been almost no negotiations this time, no feeling each other out. Evan was just there and their lives were synching up at a slightly alarming pace.
The analyst in her says to back off, get perspective, figure things out. She's distant with Evan that night and keeps away for a couple of days.
It's 2am and she can't sleep. The bewildered look in Evan's eyes as she begged off seeing him is haunting her. She knows it's the right and logical thing to do, to slow down and evaluate the situation more carefully, but she tosses and turns and can't stop thinking that the bed feels weirdly empty now.
With the clarity - or perhaps insanity - of sleep-deprivation she gets out of bed, pulls on her sweatpants and coat, grabs her keys and drives to his apartment.
He's awake, mercifully. Gate travel plays hell on people's Circadian rhythms. He starts to ask questions but she kisses him into temporary silence. Evan lets her strip off his shirt and push him back onto his couch and doesn't object when she takes off her pajamas and straddles his lap.
She's draped over him, arms wrapped around his sturdy shoulders and trying to get her breath back when he finally speaks, "Kate?" There are a multitude of questions in the single word.
She sits up. His hands are soothing up and down her bare back and she gets goose bumps from the feeling of his calluses against her skin. His touch has always affected her so strongly. She draws in a deep breath and lets go of a lifetime of training and reserve and habit. She's seen too much, been through too much, to let that get in her way any more. She's not that Kate anymore.
She looks right into his eyes. "I love you."
He gapes at her for a moment before his hand cups the back of her neck and drags her into a deep kiss. She feels his murmured response against her lips more than she hears it, and then they are just sitting there, making out on his couch at 3 in the morning until he lifts her to her feet and leads her to his bedroom.
She doesn't know if this would have happened in Atlantis or not, but in that moment, she's happier than she's been for a long time.
***
Kate suspects none of them will ever forget the day that the SGC couldn't make contact with Atlantis. Of all the dark days they've had since returning, this one is the darkest.
Elizabeth and John ask for permission to go to Pegasus with a team investigate. General O'Neill says no, but two months later a worn-looking Colonel Caldwell tells Elizabeth privately that there was no sign of the city on Lantea.
Kate deals with her own grief by throwing herself into helping the others with theirs. It's not the healthiest approach, but it's her way.
Evan holds her when she finally breaks down and cries. She falls asleep in his arms, aware that he's hurting as much as she is, and that taking care of her is now his way of dealing.
***
With the Ori gone, the galaxy is free from overwhelming dangers, and Elizabeth convinces Teyla to bring the remnants of her people back from Pegasus to the relative safety of the Milky Way. General Carter is now running the SGC and she's proved more open-minded about who works for her than Landry had been. Sam and Elizabeth are a formidable pair, and the Pentagon doesn't stand much of a chance when they set their minds to something.
Michael had come after Teyla and her unborn son, killing a number of the Athosians in the process. Teyla needs to find someplace safe for her baby and her people and Elizabeth's offer is not one she can pass up.
Ronon comes with her. Speculation runs wild that he is the child's father, but Kate knows the father was among the dead. Whatever Ronon feels about leaving behind his personal war against the Wraith, he never speaks about it to anyone, except possibly John.
Teyla is as serene as ever, but with a shadow in her smile that had not been there before. But Kate is grateful her friend is able to be in her wedding party, and little Torren enjoys playing with Evan's nephews. Kate knows that when she's back from her honeymoon she'll need to make time for Teyla and Ronon to help them try to adjust to life on Earth, but for now it's enough to watch John trying to teach Teyla the Hokey Pokey while Ronon and Evan laugh their asses off.
The other big shock is that Rodney comes to the wedding with Jennifer Keller, and apparently nobody lost a bet to bring that about. Laura is beside herself with glee and Kate's glad she's going to Hawaii for the next two weeks and not bringing her cell phone.
***
Teyla and Laura end up more excited about redecorating the new house than Kate is. The two of them inveigle Kate into shopping trips to Bed, Bath and Beyond and Home Depot until Kate's head is spinning over color schemes and she puts her foot down about the number of throw pillows any sane person needs to have.
Meanwhile having all those soldiers and engineers around makes painting and putting in the back deck a lot easier. Well, except for Radek and Rodney arguing about something involving the structural support of the deck until Miko tells them they're both totally wrong.
Evan and John get Ronon hooked on X-Box. Teyla forbids them to teach Torren to play video games until he's older.
As the work on the house is winding down, Kate belatedly notices that Laura and Ronon are arriving and leaving together more often. Evan walks into the kitchen and notices the positively evil grin on her face and freezes, looking at her nervously. "What?"
Kate just smiles. She greatly anticipates her next lunch with Laura, Teyla and Elizabeth.
***
Evan's with Elizabeth when they're kidnapped by the Lucien Alliance. The next three weeks drag on painfully. Being surrounded by people who all know exactly what she's going through is almost worse. All day, every day, everyone she works with is being solicitous and caring and it drives her crazy. She ends up spending a lot of time with Ronon and babysitting Torren, since they're the only two people who never ask her how she is doing.
John's team volunteers for the rescue mission. Colonel Mitchell tags along with SG-1 as backup, possibly because Laura's now a member of the team and Mitchell, Kate knows, seems to have understood the loyalty among the Atlantis team from the beginning. Kate waits with Carson and Radek at the SGC, the two men alternating keeping her company. They watch Torren stack blocks up in piles that he then knocks down with joyful abandon.
The gate alarm makes her jump out of her seat. She gets paged to the infirmary and her knees are shaking so badly by the time she gets to the door she's not sure she can walk any further, but John is there, his hand at her elbow, telling her it's okay and Evan will be fine.
There's a limit to how public they can be in their affections on base most of the time, but Carson draws a privacy curtain around Evan's bed when he's finished with his examination. Evan's fingers dig into her back hard enough to bruise and she can't breathe with how tightly he's holding her, but she never wants him to let go.
***
That Elizabeth and John are late to the party isn't unusual, so nobody thinks anything of their belated arrival until Kate gets a good look at Elizabeth's face. Kate hasn't seen her expression this open and alive since... well, since then.
The two of them stand near the doorway and gradually the people in the living room fall silent as Elizabeth's breathlessness and John's nervous energy become apparent. They exchange a brief look and he nods at her, and Elizabeth draws in a deep breath. "We've made contact with Atlantis."
The room explodes briefly with noise and demands for more information, and Kate listens with the rest as Elizabeth tells them that the city has been found, accidentally, by the Odyssey during a surveillance mission to keep an eye on the Wraith and the Asurans. Atlantis is floating in the void of space. Their best guess is that the Ancients who had thrown them out over two years ago had been attempting to evade the Asurans and something had gone wrong, leaving the city again lost and alone.
Elizabeth is nearly shaking and gripping her hands together tightly, a clear sign of her emotional upheaval. Nothing is certain yet, she says, but it's obvious some sort of rescue mission is being planned.
Rodney practically vaults over the couch to get to John and Elizabeth and the room erupts again in shocked conversations. Teyla and Ronon are talking in a corner and Carson and Radek are hovering near Elizabeth, John and Rodney
Evan slips through the stunned guests and crosses the room to her. Kate can read the surprise on his face, the joy and the worry. She stares at her husband for a moment and his hand covers hers, pressing gently against her belly, which is just starting to curve outward.
It looks like they have a decision to make.
Author: miera_c
Summary: The Atlantis expedition may be over officially, but the team finds ways to stay together while building lives back on Earth.
Pairings: Lorne/Heightmeyer, mentions of Lorne/Cadman, McKay/Keller, Dex/Cadman and Teyla/Kannan
Main characters: Kate, Evan and pretty much everyone else I could throw in
Rating: R (mild)
Warnings: Death of a very minor character, off screen
Spoilers: The Return, some for S4 and S5 related to Teyla
Beta: grav_ity who is not to blame since the story changed a lot after she saw it.
Disclaimer: Not mine, we only wish they were.
Author's Notes: Written for the lostcityfound "We'll Always Have Pegasus" challenge for the prompt: Evan Lorne/Kate Heightmeyer - Back on Earth afterwards, looking for familiar faces. This is an AU of "The Return" and what would've happened in the two years following.
Kate doesn't know how to maintain her professional distance on this one. Her job is caring for the mental health of these people, but how is she supposed to do that when she can't even get outside herself right now? Everything they've been working towards, everything they've gone through for three years is just over now. They didn't win or lose, it just ended. No second chances, no miracles, and the feeling of pointlessness is overwhelming.
She is among the first group to return to Earth. She stands at the foot of the ramp, watching her friends and teammates come through the gate, all of them looking around at the grim concrete of Stargate Command with similar expressions. Kate realizes that the Atlantis Expedition may officially be over as far as the IOA and the government are concerned, but for the people who've come back, it won't be that simple. They're going to need help readjusting to life here on Earth, whatever paths they end up taking.
She seizes that conviction like a lifeline. Up until that moment, she hadn't known for sure what to do next, but before the week is out, she requests to be assigned to the SGC.
***
For a couple of weeks everyone lingers around Colorado. A number of people who have received job offers start reluctantly preparing to leave. Kate suspects that deep down they were all waiting for news, for something to snatch this defeat back for them as had happened so many times before. But General O'Neill and Mr. Woolsey come back from Atlantis with further empty assurances that the Ancients would be in touch and that seems to be the final nail in the coffin.
Kate's never sure who starts the whole thing but they all end up at Simpson's house. Nearly everyone still in Colorado is there, and she thinks they have enough alcohol for three times as many people.
They need every drop, though.
She nurses one bottle of beer, wandering through the house, watching as small groups of people waver between attempts at remembering the good times and sharing their misery. She listens, hovering at the edges of rooms and cliques. It was a hazard of the job, being eternally set apart from everyone. Nobody wants to tell the shrink something that could get on a record. But she'd been in the city from the beginning, and that counted for more with some people.
She won't see them again, not regularly. Her request for a position at Cheyenne has been denied. She's going to a military hospital nearby, though. She won't be out of reach.
Carson is so drunk his accent is making him unintelligible. Radek is muttering in Czech and possibly French, somehow still arguing with Rodney even though they're both too smashed to know what they're saying and they're speaking entirely different languages. Not that such trivialities had ever stopped them before.
Many of the military people are grouped in the dining room. Laura is picking at the label of her beer bottle, talking about some off-world mission that had involved a harvest and a food fight. Evan is next to her, seated at the head of the table, which is fitting since he was the second in command of the military in Atlantis. He's smiling during Laura's story but it doesn't reach his eyes, and Kate hesitates for a moment because the expression is so unnatural on him.
The story ends. Laura looks at Evan and Kate unwittingly becomes a witness to the silent exchange between them. Kate doubts they know what she saw, and she turns away silently. She isn't surprised that they both slip out of the party not long after, but she pushes aside a tiny sliver of sadness.
The last person she finds is John. He's sitting on the stairs, staring into nothing, a beer bottle dangling from his fingers. He's holding a cell phone to his ear, his expression so dark that nobody else is willing to approach him.
Kate plops down next to him and ignores the glare. She's received enough of them from John Sheppard over the years to become immune. Besides, she can guess what is upsetting him, because she's worried too.
John folds the cell phone up with a snap and takes a long swig from his drink. Kate doesn't look at him, and doesn't raise her voice. "She's not coming?"
"No." He knocks back the rest of his beer. "Dammit," he mutters, putting the bottle down and standing up.
"You okay to drive?" She knows exactly where he's going, and the relationship at work here is one of the few she really doesn't understand fully in all its levels of complexity. Possibly it's not something she's meant to understand, really, and she respects that. But she also doesn't want to let John get behind the wheel while both pissed off and drunk. He's used to puddle jumpers that respond to his thoughts and his car doesn't have shields.
He pauses for a second and glances at her. She can see the emotions churning in him that he always forces back, but he's not drunk. "Yeah," he tells her, and his lips twist in a bitter smile. "I'm good."
Kate grins back at him mirthlessly and nods. John turns and she doesn't know if he hears her last words, spoken lowly to his back. "Good luck."
She stays to help settle the people too drunk to drive or too tired. She goes back to her new apartment for a couple of hours before returning with coffee, donuts and Gatorade. There is no sign of John or Elizabeth, or Laura and Evan.
She concentrates on rehydrating her hung over friends and doesn't let herself dwell on anything else.
***
Working at the hospital is jarring. Kate knows any job she took would probably have its weird moments. At this point, going to the grocery store is still a shock to her system (she's lost count of the number of times she's thought of going to the mess hall only to remember if she wants food she has to cook it herself), so work is going to be strange.
But the break isn't complete, because some of the injured personnel in the hospital are from the SGC, so she goes back and forth between men and women who have no clue about the Stargate program to counseling someone who just watched an alien species kill thousands of people on a single planet. After three years of dealing with the psychological fall-out of the Wraith she should have be able to handle an evil, powerful alien zealots bent on genocide, but she can't come up with much to say.
She starts drinking coffee almost constantly. It's a small rebellion, after three years of rationing.
The worst is dealing with the come-ons from her male patients. Military men had an aversion to psychologists. She was a threat to their ability to work, to stay in the service, to their manhood. A lot of them responded to her by becoming aggressively sexual. She'd forgotten about this. Some of the military personnel when they first got to Atlantis reacted this way, but over time she stopped being both a woman and a shrink and became a teammate.
Now she doesn't feel like she's any of the three.
***
When she breaks, she's at home on a Saturday. Somehow the ordinary chores of laundry and shopping and cooking get interrupted when she wonders if Atlantis was just a dream, and then the tears start and she can't make them stop. Her throat keeps tightening and the sobs just well up again.
The phone rings and she fumbles it out of the cradle, somehow never thinking she could just let it ring. She croaks out a hello.
"Kate? It's Carson. How are you?"
"I'm-" She can't say anything else. She covers her mouth to stifle the sobbing.
"Kate?"
She makes an indecipherable noise into the phone and then manages to swallow. "Sorry, I'm just..." She doesn't know a word for how she is in this moment.
"I'll be right there."
He hangs up before she can tell him not to come. It would've been lip service anyway.
For the fifteen minutes it takes for Carson to get to her apartment, Kate tries to get herself under control. She dries her eyes and blows her nose, drinks some water, makes herself breathe slowly. When he knocks, she goes to the door, trying to appear calm.
When she sees him standing there on the doorstep, his forehead creased with worry and his eyes full of sympathy, she breaks all over again. Carson doesn't ask any questions. He steps inside and closes the door, puts his arms around her and just holds her while she cries and cries until she mutters something about becoming dehydrated. He laughs and squeezes her once more before letting go. There's a big wet stain on his shirt from her tears and she starts to apologize but he cuts her off.
There's another knock at the door and at her inquiring look, Carson holds up his hands. "I didn't call anyone."
It's Laura, and the bright expression on her face dies once she gets a good look at Kate. "Oh, honey," is all she says, and then she's hugging Kate tightly and if her tear ducts weren't exhausted Kate probably would be crying yet again.
The two of them stay for hours, talking about nothing, channel surfing and offering a running commentary, not saying anything when she slips away to wash her face and ends up showering and returning in the warmest, heaviest sweats she owns even though it's warm tonight. Dinner is popcorn and ice cream, and she falls asleep with her head on Carson's shoulder, cuddled up between him and Laura on her couch with a blanket tucked over her lap.
***
Every few weeks, someone hosts a dinner or a movie night or celebrates a birthday or an anniversary. Kate goes to all of them. Though she's not at the SGC, it doesn't stop her from feeling responsible or from taking phone calls from anyone from Atlantis, no matter the time. These gatherings are the only time she gets to see everyone.
Though even if she was working at Stargate Command, she's not sure she'd see any more of her former teammates.
She hears things at the parties. She knows that the SGC has split most of the Atlantis personnel up, absorbing them into the existing team structure. Kate suspects this is some misguided plan to help with the reintegration process, by forcing the expedition team to interact with other SGC personnel, but it's cut everyone off from much of their support structure. Whatever the military's opinion of the way things had worked in Pegasus, the usual rules and regs didn't apply to them all, not anymore.
She knows that John's team is rumored to be a punishment for new personnel at the SGC because he's running through Marines at a scary rate. Evan and Laura are the only two people who ended up on the same gate team, and Kate wonders if the rumors had reached General Landry, even though she knows (because Laura had to tell someone) that Laura and Evan are just friends again. Kate stifles her relief over that fact but she still resists when Laura wants to go out to bars just to get out of the house. Kate's still not quite comfortable with the bustle and noise of so many strangers.
John attends game nights occasionally, usually when Carson drags him by the hair or Rodney is in town. The one person who never shows up to anything is Elizabeth. Two months into their return - or The Exodus as some of them are starting to call it - she and Carson corner John in Carson's kitchen.
"Have you talked to her?" Kate asks.
John looks away. "I've left a few messages."
She shares a worried look with Carson. "Someone needs to see her. She's not returning calls or e-mail. Miko ran into her in the grocery store and said Elizabeth practically bolted for the door."
John straightens up and Kate remembers belatedly how he tended to react when something was wrong with Elizabeth. Carson seems to notice it too, but he sighs. "I'll go over there myself." It's on the tip of Kate's tongue to offer, but he shakes his head. "She'll get a wee bit less defensive if it's me, I hope."
"She should go to dinner with us next week, with Rodney," John puts in.
She leaves them to plot out the details for forcing Elizabeth back into the world, at least temporarily, and wanders back to the living room. She leans in the doorway, sipping her wine and looking at her friends. Are any of them really doing much better than Elizabeth? They may be here but she can see the tension lingering in all of them, like it is in her. Things are better, but that's not saying much.
"Are we this entertaining, doc?" Evan sidles up alongside her, beer in hand. He raises his eyebrows at the expression on her face. She smoothes her features out automatically, but it's a bit late to deny the grim turn her thoughts have taken.
"I was just thinking, this is becoming routine for us." She gestures with her glass to the people in clumps sitting and standing around the house, nibbling on food and drinking.
"I guess so," Evan says.
Kate shakes her head. "It still doesn't feel normal."
It's his turn to sigh. "No." He looks at her. "Will it ever?"
"Given enough time, maybe. There's not a lot of precedent to go by."
He must catch something in her face or her voice because he turns and leans in closer. She can smell his scent now and it reminds her of things she probably ought not think too much about. He frowns, worried. "But?"
Frustration and concern make her forget to treat him as a patient. Instead she tells the truth. "I don't think we'll ever forget."
He absorbs that for a minute. "I'm not sure I want to," he says quietly.
Kate blinks in surprise and then smiles a little. "Me either."
***
Kate doesn't see Rodney during that trip, although she speaks to him on the phone. Carson comes by the hospital to check in on one of his patients a few days later, though, and fills her in on the gossip over coffee. Somehow, even though Carson had been the one to bring Elizabeth to the restaurant, she ended up leaving with John. What had happened after that was anyone's guess, but the next afternoon, dressed in her best suit, Elizabeth had invaded the SGC and Landry's office. Rumors were circulating that she'd been overheard shouting at the general before stalking out again with a take-no-prisoners look in her eye.
Kate never finds out what happened, exactly, but within two weeks, the SGC announces a reorganization of the gate teams. John is assigned a couple Atlantis Marines and Carson starts training to join a field team. And Kate gets an offer to join the medical staff at the mountain.
Five months into their return, Rodney and Colonel Carter swap jobs. She goes back to Area 51 and Rodney joins John's team. Radek is already back, full of horror stories about graduate students, and happy to take over scientific research at Cheyenne Mountain from Carter, since he never liked going off-world to begin with. Kate finds Carson and John lurking in the corridor outside Radek's lab a couple days after Rodney arrives. Rodney and Radek are bellowing at one another, waving their arms and occasionally scribbling on white boards and sometimes using their markers as weapons.
Kate doesn't miss the smile lurking around Carson's mouth. John is leaning against the doorjamb with the most contented expression she's seen on him in a long time.
***
Laura hosts her own promotion party, but they all have this down to a science by now, so by the time the party really kicks off, there's enough food and way more than enough alcohol and supplies to keep the drinks flowing for hours. As it grows late, Kate drifts into the kitchen to start cleaning things up. Elizabeth and Radek are helping, Elizabeth because she's just like Kate in this regard, and Radek because he's too polite to see Elizabeth gathering empty cups and plates and not help.
Evan finds her rinsing out glasses. "The party's not over yet, Cinderella," he says, standing beside her at the sink and nudging her shoulder with his.
Kate rolls her eyes. They've had this discussion several times now. "I've told you, the kitchen is where the food is." There's a reason those peanut butter chocolate things that Miko usually brings to these parties never make it out to the dining or living rooms. Miko, Kate and Elizabeth usually end up eating almost all of them, with a few getting snatched by John or Radek or Carson or the other people who drift into the kitchen during the party. Kate likes being in the kitchen to nibble and chat with people in the more quiet areas of the house.
Also she's her grandmother's granddaughter, and Grandmother was an old-school German hausfrau down to her bones. It's not clean until it's been scrubbed, laundered or sanitized. Twice.
Evan snorts, but he snags a little hot dog in a bun and shoves it in his mouth before he goes out to the living room to gather more glasses for her. Elizabeth is fussing over the food and Evan comes back and grabs a dishtowel to start drying the glasses Kate has washed.
He's been doing this the last few parties, showing up to help out later in the evening. Kate's wondered distractedly if he was trying to spend time with Elizabeth. She'd teased him before, more than once, about having a crush on Elizabeth, although in Kate's opinion a lot of the men in Atlantis had felt that way about their leader. Some more strongly than others. But he hasn't mentioned anything about seeing Elizabeth outside of occasional movie nights or game nights when Elizabeth joins them. Even after Elizabeth's trip to D.C. to bring the weight of all her political connections to bear on the SGC to help her people, she still doesn't come to all the gatherings regularly.
Of course, Elizabeth has been busy. The Milky Way galaxy is a chaotic swirl of organizations now with the Goa'uld gone. A perfect environment for a born politician and negotiator. She's been going off-world with either John or Evan's teams, or SG-1 when she can. Kate still sees a wistfulness in her expression a lot of the time, but at least she's not living like a shut-in anymore.
Evan leans against the counter, talking easily with them both. Kate's intent on scrubbing out the last pan in the sink, and she doesn't notice the silence has fallen right away until he says her name, "Um, Kate?"
"Yes. What?" She looks up. Elizabeth and Radek are both nowhere to be seen and Evan is looking at her nervously. Why would he be nervous? She frowns.
"While we, ah, have a moment here, I was wondering if you wanted to maybe have dinner some time next week."
The words are slightly rushed and she gets more confused. "Sure. I think I'm free on Tuesday and Wednesday." He's going off-world later in the week, she knows, because it'll be his first mission without Captain Cadman, and Laura has been teasing him about it for two weeks.
She goes back to her pan but Evan puts a hand on her arm. "Kate," he says slowly. "I'm asking you to have dinner with me."
She starts to tell him she knows that but his eyes are amused and realization rushes in on her and her cheeks flood with heat because Evan is asking her out on a date and she didn't notice.
"Oh," she blurts out eloquently. "Okay." Her heart is suddenly racing in her chest and she fumbles for something to say that won't be inane. She's too aware that at the moment her face is red as a beet, she's got several locks of hair falling chaotically in random places and the front of her shirt is wet from washing dishes. He had to ask her right now, while she feels completely ridiculous? Laura's party is an awkward venue for this to begin with but she pushes that thought aside.
Evan lets her arm go and then doesn't seem to know what to do with his hands. He rubs his palms against his jeans. "So, um, it that still a yes?" he asks. He's trying to be nonchalant but it doesn't quite work.
"Of course!" She blurts it out so loudly she jumps and her face tries to find a blush that's beyond bright red. This is stupid. She's traveled to other galaxies and faced her share of dangers and one guy asking her out is turning her into a pathetic adolescent. True, he's a friend and she's always lusted after him a little bit, but she should have some sort of self-control, here. She deals with human emotions for a living, for the love of God.
Then again, the last six months have taught her that she's just as fallible as anyone. It was probably a good lesson to relearn every now and again.
Evan grins at her, a mix of smug and relieved, and she kind of wants to smack him for that. But he straightens up before she can decide if she should rinse the suds off her hands first. "Tuesday? I'll pick you up at 6?"
She nods and he flashes her another smile, the one that shows off his dimples, and disappears from the kitchen, leaving her with her hands in the cooling dishwater and wondering if she's dreaming that she's going on a date with Evan Lorne in three days.
That makes her think of something else, and she resolves before she leaves the house to have a talk with the hostess.
***
She should be used to seeing Evan in civilian clothes by now, however, he doesn't usually come to game nights wearing black trousers and a black button-down shirt that hugs his body like a second skin. She's still finishing getting ready when he shows up at her door, and she retreats to the bathroom for a moment.
Her cheeks are pink, from how he looks, from him looking over her simple black dress with open appreciation. "Down girl," she mutters at her reflection.
She's mortally afraid they'll run into someone they know at dinner. Colorado Springs isn't that big of a town and invariably the moment when you least want to run into someone you know is when you can't escape them.
"Expecting someone?" Evan quips as they wait for their entrees to arrive and her eyes dart nervously all over the room.
She gives a guilty start. "No, of course not."
"You look like you're waiting for rescue, doc," Evan says, eyeing her a little uneasily.
Kate decides to change the subject, so she groans and grabs another roll from the basket of bread. "Please don't call me that."
"I've always called you that."
"Everyone always called me that. There were days in At-" she cuts herself off, remembering that they're not among friends right now where they can speak openly. "The city that I forgot I had a name."
"Please, I think some people still think my first name is actually 'major'," he shoots back.
They both grin at that and Evan leans forward, arms crossed on the table. "It's okay, you know, that we're here. Together. There were never any regulations prohibiting military and civilian personnel on the expedition getting involved."
"Yes, I know that," she says wryly. If anyone knew the full extent of the "relations" between the Atlantis personnel, it was her. If she wasn't bound to confidentiality, she had some stories that would make his hair curl.
"Besides we're just having dinner. At least that was as far as I'd planned..." There's a twinkle in his eye that does something ridiculous and wonderful to her stomach and her cheeks flush against her will.
He looks smug as he lifts his glass and she decides however gorgeous he is when he's flirting with her, he needs to be taken down a peg or two. "I'm not worried about being seen with you, Evan. I already spoke to the one person I felt I needed permission from to be here."
"Who is that?" he asks, taking a sip.
"Laura."
He chokes on his water and his ears turn a gratifying shade of red. She just raises her eyebrows and waits as he sputters. "Kate, look, me and Laura, I don't know what you've heard, but it's not... it wasn't a thing, you know? It was just..."
She lets him babble for a minute before she pats his hand. "I know. But I had to check with Laura after you asked me out, or I risked breaking the code."
"The code?"
"The Girl Code. The one that says you tell your friend you're interested in a guy she used to see and make sure she's okay with it before you go out with him."
She hadn't intended to let that piece of information slip, but he smiles at her, not in a cocky, annoying way but with genuine happiness. "Oh."
She waves a hand, ignoring the fluttery feeling in her belly. "Laura told me all the pertinent details and assured me she didn't have a problem with this."
Now he looks worried again. "Ah, what exactly are 'pertinent' details?"
She grins. "Nope, that's against the code too."
Dinner arrives and Evan swiftly shifts the conversation to something other than his sexual history with her best friend.
The rest of the evening is just as comfortable, with the occasional moments of electricity that make her palms sweat. But the goodnight kiss at her doorstep makes her whole body tingle. Her hands find their way around his shoulders and into his hair before they come up for oxygen.
"This next mission better not take too long," he mutters. His fingers brush against the curve of her cheek lightly and she gets goose bumps.
"Why not?"
"Because I want to get back here and make you dinner as soon as possible."
"I should warn you, I'm not a big fan of frozen pizza," she teases. His lips brush her throat and she just barely holds in an undignified whimper.
"Trust me," he says in a low voice that shoots along her spine. Then Evan kisses her again and Kate forgets the time and place and her own name for a minute before he reluctantly lets her go.
She goes in after he leaves and slumps back against her door. The mission is supposed to be no more than two days and she finds herself praying it won't get extended. She has a feeling every minute from now until she sees him again is going to drag painfully.
***
She hasn't slept with anyone in a very long time, but Kate's not sure that explains why this feels so incredibly good. Evan's mouth and his tongue are doing amazing things to her breasts but it's his hands that are driving her crazy. They're warm and the calluses on his fingers are rough against her skin and he's not even doing anything to her, just touching her skin all over, stroking her body and she's panting and squirming and nearly out of control already just from this.
"God, Evan," she breathes out as he licks and she clutches his back even harder. His palm smoothes down her hip and she whimpers. "Your hands..."
She can practically feel the look he gives her and he moves, bringing his hands up higher and kissing her hungrily. She arches into his touch, feeling almost like she's coming alive against his skin. It's not like she doesn't touch people. Laura's always good for a hug, and so is Carson, but then again, the professional wall still lingers. She doesn't casually touch people the way someone like Carson does, so maybe she is starved for that simple level of contact with other humans.
And now she's getting a massive overdose, she thinks with a grin, wriggling her hips and making Evan's eyes cross. They're face to face in her bed and she presses her naked body against his and lets out an ecstatic sigh at the feeling of his bare skin against hers.
That she's been wanting Evan's body for some time now - far longer than they've been dating, if she's honest with herself - probably is just making it that much more intense.
She's wrapped around him, their bodies rocking together and Evan trails kisses down her neck. He's muttering against her throat, "Jesus, Kate, want you..." He bites her shoulder, his hips moving more roughly. "Wanted this for so long."
She nods, because she has too. She holds on tighter because if she doesn't anchor herself she's afraid she'll fly apart. "Don't stop," she grunts out.
"Never," he breathes into her mouth as he kisses her again, moving inside her deep and hard until she squeezes her eyes shut and her breath comes out in a yell. Evan's right there with her and it's seconds or maybe just heartbeats later she hears him cursing and calling her name. Why did she wait so long to do this with him? Right now she has no idea.
***
They aren't the first of the Atlantis team to pair off since coming back to Earth, not by a long shot, but Kate still feels like her sex life is suddenly everyone's business. Laura was off-world for a couple of weeks with SG-1, her new team, so when she comes back, she bounces into Kate's office, sits down in a chair and pins her with an expectant look. Kate blushes in spite of herself and Laura cackles with laughter, then demands details so they can compare notes. The door to her office is still open and Kate's fairly sure Bill Lee just got scarred for life.
She and Evan go to John's birthday party "together" and get teased by a number of people. It's more than a little embarrassing.
She complains about the scrutiny to Evan a couple of times, but he now has very effective methods of distracting her from her train of thought and no shame about using them.
It's a matter of weeks after they start dating that she's cleared a drawer in her dresser for him and his toiletries have found places in her bathroom. But it really hits her while she's at the grocery store and grabs a box of cereal she knows Evan eats in addition to her Special K. In all her life, she'd never just fallen into a relationship this quickly. Granted, there'd only been two long-term ones in her past before Atlantis, but with each of them, it had taken time to sort out roles and expectations and so forth before she felt comfortable enough to have the other person underfoot all the time.
There'd been almost no negotiations this time, no feeling each other out. Evan was just there and their lives were synching up at a slightly alarming pace.
The analyst in her says to back off, get perspective, figure things out. She's distant with Evan that night and keeps away for a couple of days.
It's 2am and she can't sleep. The bewildered look in Evan's eyes as she begged off seeing him is haunting her. She knows it's the right and logical thing to do, to slow down and evaluate the situation more carefully, but she tosses and turns and can't stop thinking that the bed feels weirdly empty now.
With the clarity - or perhaps insanity - of sleep-deprivation she gets out of bed, pulls on her sweatpants and coat, grabs her keys and drives to his apartment.
He's awake, mercifully. Gate travel plays hell on people's Circadian rhythms. He starts to ask questions but she kisses him into temporary silence. Evan lets her strip off his shirt and push him back onto his couch and doesn't object when she takes off her pajamas and straddles his lap.
She's draped over him, arms wrapped around his sturdy shoulders and trying to get her breath back when he finally speaks, "Kate?" There are a multitude of questions in the single word.
She sits up. His hands are soothing up and down her bare back and she gets goose bumps from the feeling of his calluses against her skin. His touch has always affected her so strongly. She draws in a deep breath and lets go of a lifetime of training and reserve and habit. She's seen too much, been through too much, to let that get in her way any more. She's not that Kate anymore.
She looks right into his eyes. "I love you."
He gapes at her for a moment before his hand cups the back of her neck and drags her into a deep kiss. She feels his murmured response against her lips more than she hears it, and then they are just sitting there, making out on his couch at 3 in the morning until he lifts her to her feet and leads her to his bedroom.
She doesn't know if this would have happened in Atlantis or not, but in that moment, she's happier than she's been for a long time.
***
Kate suspects none of them will ever forget the day that the SGC couldn't make contact with Atlantis. Of all the dark days they've had since returning, this one is the darkest.
Elizabeth and John ask for permission to go to Pegasus with a team investigate. General O'Neill says no, but two months later a worn-looking Colonel Caldwell tells Elizabeth privately that there was no sign of the city on Lantea.
Kate deals with her own grief by throwing herself into helping the others with theirs. It's not the healthiest approach, but it's her way.
Evan holds her when she finally breaks down and cries. She falls asleep in his arms, aware that he's hurting as much as she is, and that taking care of her is now his way of dealing.
***
With the Ori gone, the galaxy is free from overwhelming dangers, and Elizabeth convinces Teyla to bring the remnants of her people back from Pegasus to the relative safety of the Milky Way. General Carter is now running the SGC and she's proved more open-minded about who works for her than Landry had been. Sam and Elizabeth are a formidable pair, and the Pentagon doesn't stand much of a chance when they set their minds to something.
Michael had come after Teyla and her unborn son, killing a number of the Athosians in the process. Teyla needs to find someplace safe for her baby and her people and Elizabeth's offer is not one she can pass up.
Ronon comes with her. Speculation runs wild that he is the child's father, but Kate knows the father was among the dead. Whatever Ronon feels about leaving behind his personal war against the Wraith, he never speaks about it to anyone, except possibly John.
Teyla is as serene as ever, but with a shadow in her smile that had not been there before. But Kate is grateful her friend is able to be in her wedding party, and little Torren enjoys playing with Evan's nephews. Kate knows that when she's back from her honeymoon she'll need to make time for Teyla and Ronon to help them try to adjust to life on Earth, but for now it's enough to watch John trying to teach Teyla the Hokey Pokey while Ronon and Evan laugh their asses off.
The other big shock is that Rodney comes to the wedding with Jennifer Keller, and apparently nobody lost a bet to bring that about. Laura is beside herself with glee and Kate's glad she's going to Hawaii for the next two weeks and not bringing her cell phone.
***
Teyla and Laura end up more excited about redecorating the new house than Kate is. The two of them inveigle Kate into shopping trips to Bed, Bath and Beyond and Home Depot until Kate's head is spinning over color schemes and she puts her foot down about the number of throw pillows any sane person needs to have.
Meanwhile having all those soldiers and engineers around makes painting and putting in the back deck a lot easier. Well, except for Radek and Rodney arguing about something involving the structural support of the deck until Miko tells them they're both totally wrong.
Evan and John get Ronon hooked on X-Box. Teyla forbids them to teach Torren to play video games until he's older.
As the work on the house is winding down, Kate belatedly notices that Laura and Ronon are arriving and leaving together more often. Evan walks into the kitchen and notices the positively evil grin on her face and freezes, looking at her nervously. "What?"
Kate just smiles. She greatly anticipates her next lunch with Laura, Teyla and Elizabeth.
***
Evan's with Elizabeth when they're kidnapped by the Lucien Alliance. The next three weeks drag on painfully. Being surrounded by people who all know exactly what she's going through is almost worse. All day, every day, everyone she works with is being solicitous and caring and it drives her crazy. She ends up spending a lot of time with Ronon and babysitting Torren, since they're the only two people who never ask her how she is doing.
John's team volunteers for the rescue mission. Colonel Mitchell tags along with SG-1 as backup, possibly because Laura's now a member of the team and Mitchell, Kate knows, seems to have understood the loyalty among the Atlantis team from the beginning. Kate waits with Carson and Radek at the SGC, the two men alternating keeping her company. They watch Torren stack blocks up in piles that he then knocks down with joyful abandon.
The gate alarm makes her jump out of her seat. She gets paged to the infirmary and her knees are shaking so badly by the time she gets to the door she's not sure she can walk any further, but John is there, his hand at her elbow, telling her it's okay and Evan will be fine.
There's a limit to how public they can be in their affections on base most of the time, but Carson draws a privacy curtain around Evan's bed when he's finished with his examination. Evan's fingers dig into her back hard enough to bruise and she can't breathe with how tightly he's holding her, but she never wants him to let go.
***
That Elizabeth and John are late to the party isn't unusual, so nobody thinks anything of their belated arrival until Kate gets a good look at Elizabeth's face. Kate hasn't seen her expression this open and alive since... well, since then.
The two of them stand near the doorway and gradually the people in the living room fall silent as Elizabeth's breathlessness and John's nervous energy become apparent. They exchange a brief look and he nods at her, and Elizabeth draws in a deep breath. "We've made contact with Atlantis."
The room explodes briefly with noise and demands for more information, and Kate listens with the rest as Elizabeth tells them that the city has been found, accidentally, by the Odyssey during a surveillance mission to keep an eye on the Wraith and the Asurans. Atlantis is floating in the void of space. Their best guess is that the Ancients who had thrown them out over two years ago had been attempting to evade the Asurans and something had gone wrong, leaving the city again lost and alone.
Elizabeth is nearly shaking and gripping her hands together tightly, a clear sign of her emotional upheaval. Nothing is certain yet, she says, but it's obvious some sort of rescue mission is being planned.
Rodney practically vaults over the couch to get to John and Elizabeth and the room erupts again in shocked conversations. Teyla and Ronon are talking in a corner and Carson and Radek are hovering near Elizabeth, John and Rodney
Evan slips through the stunned guests and crosses the room to her. Kate can read the surprise on his face, the joy and the worry. She stares at her husband for a moment and his hand covers hers, pressing gently against her belly, which is just starting to curve outward.
It looks like they have a decision to make.