Fic - Decepticam Chapter 3
Title:Decepticam
Chapter 3 - The system goes live
Continuity: G1, Decepticam AU
Rating: PG-13
Genre: cracky genfic
Warnings: none
Summary: Jazz continues to be happy, and Perceptor starts to wonder what on Earth is going on.
[ Chapter 1, Chapter 2]
“It’s amazin’!” Jazz exclaimed. After extensive welding, Ratchet had finally allowed him to walk the length of the Ark to Teletraan One’s main console.
“It certainly is,” Optimus agreed. The main screen was divided into several dozen smaller compartments, each one showing a view from Soundwave’s extensive and well-placed network of surveillance cameras.
“You can zoom in on each one,” Perceptor explained. “Select the room you wish to view, and press this button for sound. Sorry it isn’t labelled. And this panel has the usual controls for volume, picture quality and so on.”
“Show me the bridge,” Optimus said.
Perceptor nodded and flicked a switch. A view of Megatron filled the screen. He was seated at a desk, sipping energon and reading. Behind him, Soundwave monitored the ship’s main console, while Skywarp lay draped across a chair in front of another bank of machinery, his optics dimmed.
“Hot damn,” Jazz said. “It’s in colour and everything.”
Skywarp slipped a little lower in his chair, and his optics went offline. Soundwave shook his head, but took no further action.
“Well,” said Perceptor. “Isn’t it reassuring to note that the enemy have competent troops assigned to operate their most sensitive of instruments?”
Jazz laughed. “You could have put it in fewer words, but yeah, it really is.”
“Here,” Optimus said. He handed Jazz an energon cube, then poured one for himself. “Perceptor?”
“Not when I’m on duty,” Perceptor said.
“Awww!” Jazz took his cube and inhaled the fumes. “You’ve cracked open the high grade, and just for me? Thanks, Prime.”
“You deserve it,” Optimus said. “Ironhide and Prowl are debriefing the others. We can celebrate together once they’ve done, but I thought you might want a quiet cube of the good stuff first.”
“You know me,” Jazz said. “Always happy to get a head start.”
*
Left alone in the control room, Perceptor began to wonder whether it actually was Megatron he’d been watching these past few joors, or whether it was a cunningly disguised and intensely creepy automaton. The Decepticon commander hardly moved, he just sat at his desk, reading endless reports and drinking energon as though there was no shortage. Similarly, Soundwave moved very little. Every so often, he plugged himself in to the ship’s computer, but Perceptor had yet to determine exactly what it was he was doing. And neither of them spoke.
As for Skywarp, it was obvious what he was doing, but Megatron appeared not to have noticed. The seeker had slipped into recharge while Prime and Jazz were still in the room, and was slowly sliding down his chair. Rumble and Frenzy kept having hushed conversations about what prank they should play on him, but had yet to follow through.
When the peace was finally shattered, Perceptor found himself diving for the volume control.
Starscream was neither quiet nor calm. He stormed into the command centre, rain-damp and streaked with soot. Ignoring Megatron, he stalked over to his fellow seeker and kicked the chair out from under him.
“Wake up, you lazy heap of scrap metal!”
Skywarp landed with a clatter, optics flickering online.
“Good afternoon, Air Commander,” Megatron said, a predatory smile twisting his faceplates. “Skywarp, you’re off duty, go recharge.”
Perceptor suppressed a shudder, and turned the volume down even lower.
“Huh?” Starscream rounded on Megatron as Skywarp scrambled for the door. “You don’t expect me to take over his shift, do you? Not after I’ve been on patrol for half a revolution of this Primus-forsaken planet. I need to go get clean!”
“Oh, really?”
The door opened again, and Perceptor only just noticed Rumble and Frenzy hurry out, followed by Ravage, Ratbat, Lazerbeak and Buzzsaw. He panned over to see Soundwave closing his compartment. Perceptor knew full well how they all managed to fit in there, but it was still a strange thing to be confronted with.
“Look at me!” Starscream pointed at his streaked chassis. “All this… this organic filth! You can’t even escape from it in the air! It’s disgusting!”
“I don’t know,” Megatron said. “I think it’s rather becoming. What do you think, Soundwave?”
“Affirmative,” Soundwave replied. When he turned, his expressionless visored face finally came into view of the camera. “Suggestion: new paint-job in colours to mimic US army camouflage.”
Perceptor snickered. The look on Starscream’s face was priceless.
“You wouldn’t!” Starscream swept the datapads aside and leant over the desk towards Megatron. “I thought you liked red on white?”
Megatron smiled the cruellest and most unkind smile Perceptor had ever seen, and whispered something too low to hear.
For some reason he didn’t entirely understand, Perceptor had no desire to turn the volume back up. “Teletraan One,” he said. “Activate subtitles.”
*
“I do,” Megatron whispered. “But we could all use a change every once in a while. And you’re so…” He gestured dismissively at Starscream’s chassis. “Conspicuous.”
“Affirmative,” Soundwave commented. “Happy coincidence: appropriate coloured paint available in storage locker three, level six.”
Starscream glanced at Soundwave, then back at Megatron. “What, now? You can’t be serious! Come on, I need to re-energise…”
“You seem energetic enough to me,” Megatron commented.
Soundwave laughed, an unpleasant atonal sound that grated on Starscream’ audials.
Starscream glowered. The slaggers were hatching a plan, he just knew it. A plan against him, and it had nothing to do with his paint scheme. Not that he had any idea what it did have to do with, but he’d find out. Oh yes, and once he knew, Megatron would pay.
“That’s settled then,” Megatron said, giving Starscream the impression that there was a small portion of conversation that he had somehow missed. “Scrapper and Long Haul will assist with the patternation. Report back at 02:00 hours. That should give you ample time.”
“02:00 hours, but that's the middle of my recharge-” Starscream brought himself to a halt. Of course, the middle of his recharge cycle. A recharge cycle he wouldn’t be able to use this rotation. No wonder they weren’t winning the war.
His lip curled in a sneer, but he kept a hold on his vocaliser. “Yes, mighty Megatron,” he snarled. He spun on his heel, ready to make his dramatic exit.
Megatron smirked. “Dismissed.”
Chapter 3 - The system goes live
Continuity: G1, Decepticam AU
Rating: PG-13
Genre: cracky genfic
Warnings: none
Summary: Jazz continues to be happy, and Perceptor starts to wonder what on Earth is going on.
[ Chapter 1, Chapter 2]
“It’s amazin’!” Jazz exclaimed. After extensive welding, Ratchet had finally allowed him to walk the length of the Ark to Teletraan One’s main console.
“It certainly is,” Optimus agreed. The main screen was divided into several dozen smaller compartments, each one showing a view from Soundwave’s extensive and well-placed network of surveillance cameras.
“You can zoom in on each one,” Perceptor explained. “Select the room you wish to view, and press this button for sound. Sorry it isn’t labelled. And this panel has the usual controls for volume, picture quality and so on.”
“Show me the bridge,” Optimus said.
Perceptor nodded and flicked a switch. A view of Megatron filled the screen. He was seated at a desk, sipping energon and reading. Behind him, Soundwave monitored the ship’s main console, while Skywarp lay draped across a chair in front of another bank of machinery, his optics dimmed.
“Hot damn,” Jazz said. “It’s in colour and everything.”
Skywarp slipped a little lower in his chair, and his optics went offline. Soundwave shook his head, but took no further action.
“Well,” said Perceptor. “Isn’t it reassuring to note that the enemy have competent troops assigned to operate their most sensitive of instruments?”
Jazz laughed. “You could have put it in fewer words, but yeah, it really is.”
“Here,” Optimus said. He handed Jazz an energon cube, then poured one for himself. “Perceptor?”
“Not when I’m on duty,” Perceptor said.
“Awww!” Jazz took his cube and inhaled the fumes. “You’ve cracked open the high grade, and just for me? Thanks, Prime.”
“You deserve it,” Optimus said. “Ironhide and Prowl are debriefing the others. We can celebrate together once they’ve done, but I thought you might want a quiet cube of the good stuff first.”
“You know me,” Jazz said. “Always happy to get a head start.”
*
Left alone in the control room, Perceptor began to wonder whether it actually was Megatron he’d been watching these past few joors, or whether it was a cunningly disguised and intensely creepy automaton. The Decepticon commander hardly moved, he just sat at his desk, reading endless reports and drinking energon as though there was no shortage. Similarly, Soundwave moved very little. Every so often, he plugged himself in to the ship’s computer, but Perceptor had yet to determine exactly what it was he was doing. And neither of them spoke.
As for Skywarp, it was obvious what he was doing, but Megatron appeared not to have noticed. The seeker had slipped into recharge while Prime and Jazz were still in the room, and was slowly sliding down his chair. Rumble and Frenzy kept having hushed conversations about what prank they should play on him, but had yet to follow through.
When the peace was finally shattered, Perceptor found himself diving for the volume control.
Starscream was neither quiet nor calm. He stormed into the command centre, rain-damp and streaked with soot. Ignoring Megatron, he stalked over to his fellow seeker and kicked the chair out from under him.
“Wake up, you lazy heap of scrap metal!”
Skywarp landed with a clatter, optics flickering online.
“Good afternoon, Air Commander,” Megatron said, a predatory smile twisting his faceplates. “Skywarp, you’re off duty, go recharge.”
Perceptor suppressed a shudder, and turned the volume down even lower.
“Huh?” Starscream rounded on Megatron as Skywarp scrambled for the door. “You don’t expect me to take over his shift, do you? Not after I’ve been on patrol for half a revolution of this Primus-forsaken planet. I need to go get clean!”
“Oh, really?”
The door opened again, and Perceptor only just noticed Rumble and Frenzy hurry out, followed by Ravage, Ratbat, Lazerbeak and Buzzsaw. He panned over to see Soundwave closing his compartment. Perceptor knew full well how they all managed to fit in there, but it was still a strange thing to be confronted with.
“Look at me!” Starscream pointed at his streaked chassis. “All this… this organic filth! You can’t even escape from it in the air! It’s disgusting!”
“I don’t know,” Megatron said. “I think it’s rather becoming. What do you think, Soundwave?”
“Affirmative,” Soundwave replied. When he turned, his expressionless visored face finally came into view of the camera. “Suggestion: new paint-job in colours to mimic US army camouflage.”
Perceptor snickered. The look on Starscream’s face was priceless.
“You wouldn’t!” Starscream swept the datapads aside and leant over the desk towards Megatron. “I thought you liked red on white?”
Megatron smiled the cruellest and most unkind smile Perceptor had ever seen, and whispered something too low to hear.
For some reason he didn’t entirely understand, Perceptor had no desire to turn the volume back up. “Teletraan One,” he said. “Activate subtitles.”
*
“I do,” Megatron whispered. “But we could all use a change every once in a while. And you’re so…” He gestured dismissively at Starscream’s chassis. “Conspicuous.”
“Affirmative,” Soundwave commented. “Happy coincidence: appropriate coloured paint available in storage locker three, level six.”
Starscream glanced at Soundwave, then back at Megatron. “What, now? You can’t be serious! Come on, I need to re-energise…”
“You seem energetic enough to me,” Megatron commented.
Soundwave laughed, an unpleasant atonal sound that grated on Starscream’ audials.
Starscream glowered. The slaggers were hatching a plan, he just knew it. A plan against him, and it had nothing to do with his paint scheme. Not that he had any idea what it did have to do with, but he’d find out. Oh yes, and once he knew, Megatron would pay.
“That’s settled then,” Megatron said, giving Starscream the impression that there was a small portion of conversation that he had somehow missed. “Scrapper and Long Haul will assist with the patternation. Report back at 02:00 hours. That should give you ample time.”
“02:00 hours, but that's the middle of my recharge-” Starscream brought himself to a halt. Of course, the middle of his recharge cycle. A recharge cycle he wouldn’t be able to use this rotation. No wonder they weren’t winning the war.
His lip curled in a sneer, but he kept a hold on his vocaliser. “Yes, mighty Megatron,” he snarled. He spun on his heel, ready to make his dramatic exit.
Megatron smirked. “Dismissed.”