Music Fanfic Meme
Music Fanfiction Meme
Warnings: Un -beta’d, because this is just a meme and I’m sure she has better things to do.
Pairings: Reita/Uruha, Uruha/Reita, Aoi/Ruki
[1] The Bird and the Worm - The Used
Uruha tosses back a shot, and it tastes like ashes and bile and regret and the things he should have said when he had the chance. It burns his throat and he almost wants to spit it out, but he swallows it down with a (fake) smile on his face, just like he did with his words.
He laughs into his glass, and the sound is bitter and harsh and sharp on his tongue. It’s not the kind of laugh that he had a couple years ago when the world around his was colourful and kind and filled with Reitadarlingloveyousomuch. This is a laugh like leaves too dead to cling to their branches falling underfoot and breaking, brittle, inebriated with autumn's chill and slickness and rotting orange sunsets. It’s a laugh, he muses as he refills his glass, whose only appropriate audience is an empty room and lovely bottles filled only with moonlight.
Well, what luck then, that he’s in a room by himself, with only his liquor for company.
He gulped the whiskey and relished in burning sensation, the knowledge that soon he’d have a hard time remembering his own name, let only Reita’s (sweet, wonderful, loving, lying, cheating, backstabbing Reita.)
The alcohol’s making his head swim and he’s not sure if he’s laughing or crying or slurring his rage at the deaf walls.
Is this what happens when you achieve your dreams? Because this is his dream, isn’t it?
He’s in a relationship with Reita, and Reita’s happy. What more could he ask for?
The walls don’t answer him. Well, screw them, then.
Uruha really does make a good blond. After all, how long had it took for Uruha to realize that while Reita’s happy, it isn’t Uruha that makes him happy?
It’s Aoi.
Aoi, with his pretty eyes full lips dark hair kissable wrists seductive smile everything that Uruha doesn’t have. Aoi, who saw Uruha’s wide eyes through the door and the frame and smirked over Reita’s naked shoulder as Reita moved over him, skin slick and back muscles rippling. The smirk was triumphant and smug because even though the ring’s on Uruha’s finger, even though Uruha’s the one who loves, Aoi’s still the one who wins. Reita’s still Aoi’s, all the way. And Aoi then broke eye contact with Uruha and moaned, arching his back and closing his eyes and raking his fingernails down Reita’s back and Uruha closed his eyes, slipping away because it hurt too much.
That’s not the reason he’s drinking. He’s drinking because he loves Reita. And he won’t (can’t) leave.
He lets out another bitter laugh, throws his glass at the wall and watching it shatter because he wants to break something because everything around him is breaking or maybe it’s just him or his heart, which to him is the same thing. He lifts the bottle by the neck and somehow the whiskey’s more satisfying taken like that.
The bottle’s empty now and Uruha can’t bring himself to care. He’ll have a monstrous headache in the morning and Reita will come down with an adoring, chiding (fake) smile and coffee, and he’ll ask Uruha why because he doesn’t know that Uruha knows and Uruha will lie about wanting to try some new import and he’ll smile a sweet, kind (fake) smile, and as soon as Reita’s back is turned it’ll go crooked and fall to the floor and splatter like a piece of meat still bleeding on the inside and not cooked all the way through and Uruha will go back to being ignorant, the perfect boyfriend. But tonight he is bedless and can mourn one last time and he has wine and empty rooms to talk to and his love for Reita.
Besides, isn’t this his dream?
[2] Pretty Fly (For a White Guy) - The Offspring
Reita was going to turn around and walk away. And then find some goddamn mindsoap to wash away the cruel evidence of the brain-rape he was just forced through.
…He was spending too much time with Ruki. Waaay too much time.
But, Jesus, brain-rape is probably the most accurate description he could find for the scene he had just seen.
It was Uruha. Trashed. Dancing. Half naked.
Now, normally Reita would be down for a trashed, dancing, semi-clothed Uruha. No one’s a better best-friend-with- benefits.
It was where he was dancing.
It was who he was dancing with. (Really, Reita’s sure he can do better than Sakai, of all people.)
And it was the fucking song.
Reita’s sure that if he checked the mirror, he’d see some damn blood pouring out of his ears.
…Pretty fly, his ass.
[3] Heart- Shaped Box - Nirvana
“What’s your poison?” Reita looks up. A girly looking blond is staring at him, cocking his head to the side and Reita’s head is pounding and swimming and he’s too hot and nauseous and-
God, rehab sucked.
“Apple jacks. Straight up and preferably off the inner thighs of a slut.” The blond laughed. It was a bitter, beautiful sound to Reita’s strung out ears.
“Well, sweetheart, looks like we got that in common at least.”
[4] Fix You - Coldplay
“Hey, Uruha, baby…” Uruha presses closer, tucking his head into Reita’s chest. Reita wraps his arms around him, rubbing his back as he cries. Reita murmurs quietly, whispers sweet nothings. He doesn’t say ‘it’ll be okay’, because Ruki is dead and Reita’s just not sure if there’s such thing as being okay after something like that.
Reita leads Uruha back into his room, curling up together. Reita clumsily attempts to kiss the tears away, while brushing away the excess tears away with his fingers. Probably accidentally squishing Uruha’s eye, although Uruha doesn’t complain.
Reita rolls over, pressing his lips against Uruha’s. Is this okay?
Uruha arches, whimpers through tears. Yes.
~~~~lalala, THEY JUST WENT TO SLEEP AFTER HUGGING! WHAT ARE YOU, A PERVERT?!~~~~~
[5] Look After You - the Fray
“You’re a cheeseball.” Reita nuzzled the back of Uruha’s neck, kissing one of the bony bumps and ignoring Uruha’s comment completely.
“Mmhmm. And you’re gorgeous, kitten.” Well, almost completely. Uruha turned around to face Reita, bristling slightly.
“Don’t call me- mmph!” Reita shut him up by pressing their lips together.
[6] Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door - Guns’ n’ Roses
Uruha’s breath caught. He didn’t think it’d be that bad. Reita attempted to smile from his place on the bed, but it fell away to a grimace of pain. Uruha winced. He swept his eyes over the i.v. being feed into Reita’s veins. It was something that doctors called ‘treatment’ and everyone else just called ‘torture’.
Ruki snapped up from where he was sitting crumpled in the chair at Reita’s side. “Oh, Uruha. I guess…I just I’ll give you some time with him.” The ‘to say goodbye’ was purely implied. Ruki kissed Reita, nuzzled him lightly. Uruha winced. Not his. Reita wasn’t his, and what he was about to do wasn’t fair to himself, to Aoi, to Reita, and especially not to Ruki.
Ruki was oblivious to the tension radiating from Uruha. Typical.
When the door clicked behind them, Uruha sighed and moved into the chair Ruki had just vacated. It was the closest chair to the bed, the ‘romantic partner’s’ chair. They both remained in silence for a couple minutes, before Uruha cleared his throat.
“Do you think…do you think that maybe it would have worked out between us?” Uruha kept his eyes to the ground, forcing the memories of late night kisses and curling up with him from the forefront of his mind. This wasn’t the time for wallowing in the past. This was the present. He heard Reita sigh.
“Uruha, do we really need to talk about ancient histo-”
Uruha interrupted. “Please.” He was being selfish, he knew, it wasn’t kind for him to put Reita on the spot liken this, and it was only going to hurt them both, but they didn’t know if Reita would even be around tomorrow, but this was a conversation he’d been attempting to grow enough balls for for years.
“I…I wish I could say yes, Uruha. But I don’t think…Isn’t the answer in the fact that I love Ruki and you love Aoi and that we’ve moved on from each other? Isn’t that enough of an answer for you?” Reita was about to place a hand over uruha’s, but he seemed to re-think it and rested it on the railing in a pathetic attempt to cover up what he was about to do. Uruha snorted. Smooth, Reita, real smooth.
Reita was always like that. Clumsy when it came to emotional, expressive things. He’d get tongue tied, and choke on his own spit, and trip up on simple invitations to dinner. It was always-Uruha cut off his stream of thought.
He curled up his hand and took a deep breath. He wasn’t exactly sure why this was so hard for him. Reita wasn’t going to be around much longer, it didn’t matter what Uruha said since Reita wouldn’t have a chance to do much.
Except for reject him.
Uruha closed his eyes and opened them again, quickly.
“I love you.” He felt Reita stiffen, saw the hand curl into a matching fist of his own.
“Uruha-” It was a wistful, regretful sound. Uruha knew what was going to follow his name said in a tone like that. He stood up quickly, turning on his heels and almost running for the door. “Uruha!”
“Don’t.” He opened the door and ran, the sound of the heart monitor and Reita’s coughing following, twining around him and choking him, tears stinging his eyes. They wouldn’t fall, though. It hurt.
It always hurts when you’re aching, desperate to do something and you can’ t.
[7] Like a Star - Corinne Bailey Rae (WARNING MPREG)
“Is it kicking yet?” Reita asked excitedly, pressing his ear against Uruha’s bulging stomach.
“No.” Reita rubbed his hand in a circle around it, apparently hoping to coerce the baby into brutalizing his loving boyfriend who just so happens to be lovingly bearing his devil spawn.
“How about now?”
“Nope.” Reita pouted, kissing his stomach next in an attempt to woo the child into abusing his boyfriend for Reita. Frigging Reita.
“Now?”
“…Reita, it’s 3:00 a.m. in the frigging morning and you just woke up your ugly fat boyfriend by crouching over his stomach and cooing at it. Your ugly fat boyfriend is tired and not in the mood. Fear his chubby and let him sleep.” Reita smiled and Uruha could feel it against the skin of his body as Reita trailed his lips up to Uruha’s mouth and kissed him, rubbing his stomach reverently.
“I think you’re gorgeous, Uruha. I think you both are.”
“Oh!”
“Babe? Baby?! You’re not in labour, are you?! Shit, did I just make you go into labour?!?! Oh, my, god, I -”
“It just kicked.”
[8] Don’t Trust Me - 3OH!3
I don’t love you. Those words are unspoken and that’s okay, because they’re sure as hell not doing this for love. Uruha keens and lets his head fall back and Reita bites down on his neck, not hard enough to leave a mark. Uruha doesn’t want to be marked with this. Uruha slaps Reita’s hands away from him as he removes Reita of his highly excessive clothing. For tonight, I don’t even know your name.
It’s harsh and quick and, god, Uruha has to wonder how pissed Ruki would be at Uruha if he found out Uruha had just screwed his boyfriend.
[9] Hate me - Blue October
Aoi can’t say he’s surprised when he comes back to an empty apartment and a note begging forgiveness.
Don’t worry, darling, there’s nothing to forgive.
He walks through the echoing place, and it hurts a bit more when he realizes that Ruki left the photos of them. Leaving behind the memories as well as leaving behind Aoi.
I never told you I love you, did I? I hope you could tell without words.
Aoi doesn’t blame him, though. He wouldn’t want to carry along portraits of a once upon a time they never get to have, either.
[10] Carnival Town - Norah Jones
“Hey.” Aoi fell down next to Ruki, hair falling around his head like a dark halo. In Ruki’s opinion. Which, no, Aoi didn’t know about, thank you very much.
Aoi smiles a bittersweet kind of smile back up at Ruki.
“Hey.” Ruki waited for Aoi to talk. Generally, Ruki was the go-to person when Aoi was in another Deep and Broody mood. This time Ruki could tell it was bad, because Aoi had full frontal Angsty and Dramatic Head Positions going on, too.
“So…what’s the cause of this round of brooding?”
“Uruha has another boyfriend.”
“Ah…” Ruki attempted the squelch the empty, soft ache in his chest cavity before it could show on his face, lying back beside Aoi on his bed.
“Do you think that I…that we meant anything to him? I mean, I’ve barely stepped out the door of his apartment before he has another person in his bed.”
“I don’t know…But, err, if it’s any comfort, I sort of love you.”
Aoi rolled onto his side to face Ruki, smiling softly before kissing his forehead.
“I sort of love you too. You’re the best friend I never had growing up.”
Ruki’s insides curled in on themselves, not that Aoi’s unwitting rejections were a new thing.
“Right, yeah…” The ache was back, and it wrapped around Ruki’s heart like burning gauze, pressing against it just enough to make tears sting the back of his eyes.
Heart bruises healed eventually, right?
***
A/N: lolol, mpreg. And wow, too many sweet songs in this. I think I’m having a heart attack. And I enjoy putting Uruha through pain. :) And I’m not writing him again for a while. Good god.