GGFic: TippeGypsyDoo (2/6)
Title: TippeGypsyDoo (2/6)
Author: LorelaiSquared
Rating: PG
Characters: Lorelai, Gypsy, Townies
Word Count: 1597
Summary: When Taylor annoys the town one too many times, it’s Gypsy who steps up to the plate to run against him. Mayhem and comedy ensue!
Authors Notes: As always, a huge thank you to Jewels12 who kindly tolerates my babbling, grammatical errors and novel-like tendencies.
Chapter 1,
Annoyances
Gypsy was mumbling to herself as she marched through the town square later that day, her eyes fixated on her destination. As she rounded the corner, she was nearly knocked over by a fuming Jackson who was muttering obscenities about Taylor as he made a hasty exit from Doose’s Market.
Gypsy grumbled, “Thank you, Jackson, I enjoy being a human bowling pin.”
Jackson ignored her and continued his tirade as he stomped away. Gypsy glared after him before storming into Doose’s Market herself. She spotted Taylor at one of the tills and made a beeline for the infuriating little man.
Taylor was handing a woman her change when Gypsy thrust a piece of paper in his face and shouted, “Taylor, what the hell is this?”
Taylor shifted uncomfortably and grabbed a jug of milk from the belt. “I’m a little busy right now, Gypsy, so unless you are purchasing something, I will have to chat with you later.”
“You’re busy? Zach is your only customer.” She gestured to Zach, who was pulling out his wallet to pay for the no-name brand milk.
“Yes, well, the rush is about to start any second now,” Taylor hedged.
As if to prove his point, Kirk suddenly appeared in line, his arms filled with a bizarre assortment of deodorant and toothpaste.
“Fine!” Gypsy sighed and grabbed a banana from the produce section before lining up behind Kirk.
Taylor began to ring in Kirk’s order at a snails pace, turning each item over repeatedly before scanning it in. To kill the time, Gypsy asked, “What’s with all the personal hygiene products, Kirk?”
“Mother says that if I smell good and my teeth are shiny then Lulu and I might finally be able to take the next step in our relationship, if you know what I mean." He gestured to the mountain of products on the belt and added, “I wasn't sure which brand would turn Lulu on the most, so I picked them all.”
Gypsy made a face and muttered under her breath, “I’m sorry I asked.”
“Why? Se--”
“Finish that sentence, and I kill you.”
Kirk closed his mouth as Taylor suddenly sped up and finished Kirk’s order. Gypsy smirked. Apparently dealing with her, was a lesser evil than hearing about Kirk’s sex life.
Taylor handed Kirk his change and said, “Here, Kirk, take a balloon. Election’s on Tuesday.”
“Oh, can I have a red one? I love red!”
“Sorry, Kirk, I only have blue left.”
Kirk pouted, “But I wanted red.”
“Fine, I’ll keep the balloon then.”
“No, I want it.” Taylor sighed and gave Kirk the balloon. He watched as Kirk tried to juggle the balloon and the bag of hygienic products. He somehow managed to get the balloon stuck in the door on his way out and both Taylor and Gypsy watched in fascination as two bag boys tried to get him untangled and free of the store.
Once Kirk was out of sight, Taylor finally picked up the banana and began typing in a string of numbers.
“I waited in your stupid line, now talk to me, Taylor. What the hell is this?” She waved the paper again.
Taylor looked desperately down the aisle, hoping another customer would come to save him. When no one did, he sighed and said, “It’s a fine.”
“I know it’s a fine, what the heck is it for?”
“Gypsy, please. This is not the proper forum to discuss the problem with your air compressor.”
“What problem with my air compressor? It’s been there for 10 years, how is there a problem?”
Taylor sighed. “Gypsy, this is my place of business. The unpleasantness with your compressor will be settled at the town meeting. That will be $9.95 for the banana.”
“What? It’s a lousy banana. I don’t even want the banana, I’m only buying it because you said I had to buy something so that I could talk to you.”
“Yes, well, $45 is steep for a watch repair, but as you know, business is business.”
“Keep your damn banana then.” Gypsy picked it up and chucked it at Taylor’s head. Taylor sputtered and tried to wipe banana goo off his nose in an elegant fashion before turning to East Side Tilly who had lined up with cheese and tea biscuits.
Gypsy glared at Taylor once more before grabbing one of his stupid balloons and storming out of the store mumbling about ridiculous men with no lives.
As the door closed behind her she heard Taylor screaming after her, “You weren’t supposed to take that. Balloons are for selected towns people only.”
Gypsy couldn't help but smirk as she heard East Side Tilly interject with, “Taylor, you have banana in your ear --”
xxxxx
Lorelai was exhausted, and it was only eleven A.M. Between Brunhilde’s untimely self destruction, Taylor’s idiocy, and Michel’s constant whining about midgets, her morning had been even more trying than usual.
She glanced at her watch again and smiled slightly. Only an hour before she could escape for a quick lunch at Luke’s. Her eyes sparkled as she thought of the diner owner; her diner owner; her Luke. Her thoughts began to stray down more x-rated paths and she jumped when she heard yelling and strange squealing noises coming from the dining area a few minutes later.
Sighing heavily, Lorelai reluctantly abandoned her pleasant thoughts and left her office to investigate this newest disturbance. She skidded to a halt by the sitting room as she spotted the source of the squealing. Michel was perched precariously on top of one of the dining room tables screeching like a little piglet. Twelve children, around the age of 8 and 9, surrounded the table, each of them holding something in their hands and shouting up to Michel.
“Look Michel, it’s a frog!”
“No, look at my spider!”
“Nuh, uh, he needs to see my lizard first.”
“My mouse is cooler.”
“Is not, mine is better, it’s a rat!”
Lorelai stepped into the dining room and made a loud wolf whistle with her fingers. The children froze and turned towards her silently as Michel stopped squealing and scowled at her in disgust.
“This is your fault. I told you I do not like midgets. I told you I hate them. But you did not listen to me. You never listen to me. And now look, they have brought their germy, contaminated spawn into our inn.”
The children giggled at Michel’s tirade. One of them dropped their creature and went scrambling after it, knocking over a chair in the process.
“They’re not midgets, Michel,” Lorelai said patiently as she righted the chair, scooped up the squirming frog and handed it to its owner. “They’re children, and they are here because their parents wanted them to have an authentic nature experience. If you are not willing to facilitate their visit, then I’m sure I can call Tobin and he’d be more than happy to --”
“All right, fine. I will do it. But I will not be happy about it.” Michel climbed off the table and attempted to smile at one of the children; it came out more like a toothy grimace. “And I’m not touching the midget spawn.”
Lorelai shrugged, figuring that was the best she’d get from him today. “You don’t have to touch them Michel, just take them outside so Sookie can get the dining room ready for lunch.”
Michel complied by grabbing the nearest boy by the arm and pulling him toward the exit. “You owe me,” he muttered to Lorelai as he passed. The rest of the children followed and the dining room was soon blissfully quiet. It was on days like today when she wondered why she even bothered to keep Michel around.
Sighing, she headed back to her office to try and call Taylor regarding the stupid parking spaces. Yet another man in her life who drove her crazy. One of these days she was going to give in to her urge to punch the man. Until then, she would have to settle for trying not to scream as she dealt with his stupid red tape.
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