Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

[miles_mcm]

Fucking demons getting more and more bold. If I had been training Shox we would have been fighting these together. The fact that he isn't here makes me fight with even more fury!

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[wi11i4m_c]

I try to sit as still as I can in the position he has me in. I'm not used to being still. It doesn't help that I am looking directly up at him.

At first I watch him work. His eyes flit from what he is doing to me and back again over and over. I study the concentration on his face and wonder at how he has the patience for this. I wish I could see what he was actually painting.

Soon my mind starts to wander off and think about how he called me beautiful and stunning. I haven't felt that way since Marcel. I felt that brief instance of it when putting on the robe but now the longer I sit here the more I start to feel like an object. Like what I was to Marcel and have been to others. Those thoughts bring me back to a dark place and I don't like being there with my dark thoughts.

I start to fidget and he looks down to me from where he is painting. "I need to stretch."

[wi11i4m_c]

The smell of his arousal wafts across the table along with the smell of our coffee. It's unmistakeable to my nose.

I sit with my hands clasped together in my lap, my jaw muscles rippling as I clench and unclench them. I'm fighting the physical reaction to rip his head off and run.

I know now why I feel fearful around him. The mix of violence and softness. He reminds me of Marcel. The softness I was drawn to and the violence that hid behind it. I can't but help in my mind to tar him with the same brush.

I remind myself that this time I see it coming and I won't be a victim. I'll be a step ahead.

I pull one hand out of my lap and add sugar to my coffee as I stretch out the tension in my jaw. "What are your plans for me after you finish your portrait."

[miles_mcm]

"Plans? I - well if you would like to sit for me again that would be wonderful and well... I would like to get to know you William. I know you are very defensive, and somehow I have offended you. I apologize."

I sigh, "Listen William, I like you. I feel drawn to you. I've told you more about myself than I've told anyone since... well in a long time. I would love to paint you more and be your friend."

[wi11i4m_c]

His bluntness and honesty hit me like a slap in the face and I know I stare at him a few seconds before looking down at my coffee and stirring it with the spoon slowly.

David's words echo in my head. Not everyone is the enemy. My mind is buidling him up as another Marcel, doesn't mean he is. That irrational fear my body produces as a protection isn't always a good thing.

I cut my eyes up to him and he is watching me, those dark intense eyes. He's not the only one drawn and that made me put up the walls. Anyone I'm drawn to has to be bad because that's what I deserve.

I look back down at the cup and fiddle with the handle. "I offend easily. I don't tend to make friends."

[miles_mcm]

I think about his words, "Sounds to me like some one hurt you enough to make you this way. People can be real bastards. Take advantage, use you then leave," I think about my wife how she was so cold when she took Milo away from me, "they never even realize how deeply they've hurt you."

He is a bit a loner and so am I. Easier to stay that way then let anyone in and get hurt.

[wi11i4m_c]

I chuff out a sharp laugh at his words but at the same time I cast an eye up to him.

There is a sincerity in his voice and understanding of pain and mistrust and sadness. It shines dully out of his eyes at me.

"You like to be alone too. That's why you have your forest?"

[miles_mcm]

I look at him, "When you get close to people there is a better chance they will disappoint and hurt you."

I sip my coffee and continue, "I wasn't always this way. I was married and had a son, but... she didn't like this life so," I swallow the emotion down, "she took our son and left. I haven't been able to find him. I feel him sometimes but then.., he's gone."

Leaning back I run my fingers through my hair and close my eyes to the pain.

[wi11i4m_c]

My mind immediately goes back to Milo. There is too much similarity for their likeness to be coincidence and his story...

I take a sip of my coffee and watch him. My heart about stops in my chest and a lump forms in my throat. To be able to take away his pain, to give that gift to someone else.

I clear my throat a little forcing the lump down. "What was his name?"

[miles_mcm]

I sigh, "Milo, well Miles," I smile, "but I always called him Milo. His mother hated it. She probably changed his name."

I push my coffee cup away, "Once he has a male child, if he ever does, we will be able to locate him and offer him his rightful place with us. But until then..."

[wi11i4m_c]

I already knew it in my heart but to hear him say the name is unbelievable. In the shock of it I drop my cup and coffee spills everywhere.

I jump up as hot liquid splashes down the front of me and in my crotch. "Shit! Ow!" I grab for napkins at the same time as pulling my pants out from the front of me. "Fuck that burns!"

[miles_mcm]

Oh shit! I jump up and start handing him napkins.

"William are you ok?! Come on."

I grab his hand and take him out the back then transport us back to the forest. Grabbing the robe I hand it out to him and turn away, "Get those pants off, make sure you aren't burnt too bad."

Wolves can heal, but I'm not sure how fast. I certainly don't want him hurting.

[wi11i4m_c]

I stand there with a handful of damp napkins and the robe staring at his back. The initial burn and sting of the coffee fading as my skin heals itself. The heat from the liquid now cooling in the fabric of my pants.

My mind screams at me to tell him but at the same time I know I should discuss this with Lord Christian first. But to see happiness on his face.

"Miles I..."