Not-a-Stripe 01: Shakes and Shivers in WHAT THE FUCK land!

[lookouttiger]

[Morning - 1669 Nelson St.]

[It is a (relatively) peaceful day in this particular iteration of Mayfield...actually, no, let's try that again.]

[It is a relatively quiet day in Mayfield...wait, no, still wrong.]

[It is not a particularly unevent---fuck.]

[ONE MORNING IN MAYFIELD.]

[The entire house seems to shake when a woman wakes up screaming loudly in

Comments

[phone]

[riastrad_ridire]

Why is everyone screaming into the damn phone lately?!

Re: [phone]

[lookouttiger]

Well, what would you call an appropriate reaction to waking up one morning in someone else's bed with NO PANTS?! Or...skirt. Was I wearing a skirt yesterday? [Beat.]

Waking up in someone else's bed!

[riastrad_ridire]

Not shrieking in my ear, that's what!

[lookouttiger]

[WHAT'S THAT YOU WANT LOUDER SHE CAN DO LOUDER]

WELL I WOULDN'T BE SHRIEKING IF SOMEONE WOULD ACTUALLY HELP MEEEEEE! SEND THE POLICE! THE MILITARY! A HELICOPTER! OR EVEN A TANK! Get me out of this crazy kidnapper's house!

[fated_blade]

You have been Captured?!

[Damsel in distress alert]

[lookouttiger]

Yes! Some pervert must have kidnapped me and brought me here! Hurry up and...

Wait, you wouldn't happen to be Saber-chan, would you?

[fated_blade]

I am sorry, you know my name?

[lookouttiger]

Yes, I couldn't possibly forget you. You were an associate of Kiritsugu's that Shirou invited to stay over without my approval.

But I don't mind that so much anymore. Did you forget about me already...? [About to whine again. For different reasons.]

I totally wasn't screaming in the phone yesterday. Nope! Not at all! *cough*

[walking_nuke]

Yo, lady, I don't think'a military's gonna do much good out here. I should know. I'm a soldier myself. Met a few others too, from other places.

[Have summa dat Philly accent.]

[lookouttiger]

[Your ACCENT has calmed Wild TAIGA! SCREAMING AND CRYING skills DECREASE!]

W-w-w-wait, what do you mean?! Are you saying soldiers have been kidnapped too?! [THIS DEMANDS FURTHER INVESTIGATION. And panicking. Lots of that, too.]

[walking_nuke]

Yeah. I'm Sergeant First Class Balin Wilbur. I wound up here yesterday mornin', and I uh-let's just say I had as helluva hard time with'is as you.

... Look, what I'm gonna tell you next is gonna depend on where you're from. First person I talked to here ain't from Earth at all, so, yeah. Where're you from?

[lookouttiger]

[ALIENS ARE INVOLVED NOW?! Still, she tries to calm down and explain.]

Well, as far as I know I'm from Modern-day Japan...but what do you mean by that? Just how extensive is this kidnapping plot?

[netidol_chiu]

[Enough with the screaming! Is everyone like this today...]

It's not going to do anything. You're better off dealing with the fact you're stuck here for a while.

[lookouttiger]

[She continues to flip out. Really, what were you expecting.]

I CAN'T ESCAPE EITHER?! WHAT KIND OF MADNESS IS THIS?!

[netidol_chiu]

[Chisame just sighs, freaking out gets you no where, she learned that the hard way a few weeks ago.]

Stop screaming in to the phone already! Yes, someone did bring you here, you can't get out and the place you woke up in is your new house. [Way to put it bluntly..]

[phone]

[maguskiller]

[Wait. Give him a second to recognize the voice. It's still somewhat different from the one he remembers.]

...Taiga?

Re: [phone]

[lookouttiger]

[That voice. That very familiar and most-certainly-dead voice is all it takes to shut her up. She stares at the phone for a moment before concluding it is apparently a ghost phone, too. She's too bewildered to disbelieve anything, but she has to be sure...]

Kiritsugu? Emiya Kiritsugu, is that you?

[maguskiller]

[Yep. That's her. He doesn't feel too good about having someone else he knows in here, but that won't stop him from greeting her.]

It's good to talk to you again.

LATE LIKE A BOSS

[lookouttiger]

Er...yes, yes, the feeling is quite mutual. It's just that...um...

I could have sworn you were dead. For several years.

Which is making it hard for me to enjoy this reunion because this implies you're some kind of ghost.

Please tell me you're not.