Taking Dad Out to Lunch

[lookfar]

So I made myself go over to my dad's apartment to get the duty-lunch over with this afternoon. I brought him a durian because he's mentioned them to me and I didn't know if he'd ever had one. Icky old-person smell of the apartment, and my usual dread of his physical presence. My dad is 92. He's becoming skinny and stringy and often has crumbs

Comments

[rickfan37]

WHat a sad and poignant post. ((((hugs)))) I get the impression that you were never close to your father. Either way, it's sad when they get so frail and confused that you couldn't connect even if you wanted to.
I felt that way about my grandmother, although it's different in that I had spent years disliking her intensely, so I know that feeling of distance and unwillingness that you speak of.
I'm sorry it's so hard for you.

[lookfar]

Thanks. My dad was mentally ill all my life and we had a lot of conflict and unhappiness. It helps to know that he couldn't do any better, but I've never completely gotten past it, at least with him, because he's still the same person. So visiting just reminds me that I never had and never will have a close, supportive father, and it makes me sad.

Thanks for the hug.