(no subject)
Title: Screw Someone Else's Roommate
Author: poor_choices
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Michael Rosenbaum/Misha Collins, Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Rating: R
Word Count: 2600.
Summary: College AU. Michael Rosenbaum loves his big gay roommate, which is how he ends up scheming with Misha Collins.
Notes: Written for spn_j2_xmas, for queenklu. Hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.
Mike has the best roommate ever in the history of the world.
He realizes this fairly early on, because Jared Padalecki is clean, funny, awesome to hang out with, and gay. Mike loves gay guys. Not because he's gay--bi-curious, sure, but Jared's not his type--but because he never has to compete for chicks, and most of the ones he's met have a lot of hot female friends. And Jared is definitely not an exception here. Mike has never met anyone who knows so many babes in his life. Every time Jared leaves the dorm, it seems like he meets a indescribably sexy girl and becomes instant friends.
Mike doesn't always benefit from this--Jared has a strict "no one-night stands with my friends" policy because he doesn't want shit to get awkward, which Mike understands and respects--but he figures there is absolutely no downside to Jared's being a chick magnet.
There is even less downside when, a few weeks before the end of the semester, they get an e-mail about the all-frosh screw-your-roommate dance.
Mike's hear whispers of the screw-your-roommate dance when he first got to college, and he's been excited about it ever since. The basic idea is that your roommate finds a date for the dance for you, and vice versa. And given that every single girl Jared knows is someone Mike would not object to going out with, he figures his life is made.
But, of course, that's when Jared decides to get difficult.
"So," says Jared, flopping down on his bed. "This screw dance thing."
"Yeah," says Mike. "It's going to be awesome."
"I need you to do me a favor."
"For you, man? Anything."
"There's this guy," says Jared. "His name's Jensen--Ackles. Jensen Ackles. He's in my psych seminar. We've only spoken, like, twice, but, god, he's so fucking hot."
"And you want me to make this happen," says Mike. Mike has never been a gay pimp before, but he's willing to try anything once.
"Yeah, but," Jared lets out a huffy breath. "You can't, like, just go up and say, hey, my roommate has a big gay crush on you! That'd be embarrassing."
"Is he gay?" asks Mike.
"I don't know! I think so? But my gaydar isn't that great yet. I mean, I thought you were kind of gay."
"A little," Mike agrees. "Just not for you. So what do you want me to do exactly?"
"I don't know," says Jared miserably. "Talk to his roommate? Make it subtle? I swear, Mike, if you make this happen, I will hook you up with anyone you want. I don't care how awkward it'd get. Anyone."
Mike's almost tempted to say Sandy, Jared's best friend, but hot as she is, she's a little too wholesome for him, and that would be really mean. He clucks his tongue. "Minka Kelly?" Minka is gorgeous, and she's never even considered giving him the time of day.
"Minka? Dude, yeah! Minka loves me." Jared puts his hand on his heart. "I swear to God, Mike, if you set me up with Jensen for this dance, I will get Minka to go with you. I could maybe even get it in writing that she will give you a handjob."
Mike grins. "Dude, it's done. Don't even worry about it."
*
Mike's first step is to Facebook-stalk Jensen Ackles. He wonders what poor, lovesick college kids did before Facebook. Whatever it was, it was probably illegal.
Jensen is--hot, Mike guesses. He's definitely pretty, huge lips, light eyes, nice smile. All his pictures are of him drunk and laughing or sober and giving the camera the finger, so he seems like a fun guy. Plus, he's listed as single, and doesn't say what gender he's interested in, which is pretty encouraging, for Facebook.
They also have five friends in common, a few random people Mike knows from classes, and, thankfully, Tom. Mike went to high school with Tom, and they were always close, even though Tom was a year older than him. Tom will pretty much do anything for him.
Mike figures this is God's way of saying he wants Mike and Minka Kelly to get it on.
"Hey, Mike," says Tom, sounding happy. "What's up, dude?"
"I need your help."
"Yeah? With what?"
"You know Jensen Ackles?"
"Jensen, yeah," says Tom, sounding surprised. "He's in my dorm. What's up?"
Tom's an RA, so apparently God really wants Mike to get laid. It's fated, clearly.
"He doesn't happen to be into guys, does he?"
There's a pause. "Are you gay now?"
"Just my roommate," says Mike cheerfully.
"Oh, gotcha. Uh, yeah, I think Jensen's bi, maybe? He hooked up with my friend Justin at least once, so he's definitely at least a two-beer queer."
"Awesome," says Mike. "So,follow-up question: who's his roommate?"
*
Dear Misha Collins,
I'm Mike, and my roommate is in your roommate's psych seminar and has a big gay crush on him. I hear your roommate isn't totally opposed to sucking dick, so I'm hoping you can help me out here. If I can get your roommate to agree to do this screw dance with my roommate, I get a totally hot chick to go with me. And maybe blow me.
So, please, man, I'm begging you. He's too much of a wuss to just ask, so I have to be all matchmaker ninja. My sex life depends on you, Misha Collins.
Sincerely,
Michael Rosenbaum
*
Misha Collins calls him twenty minutes later. "Michael Rosenbaum?"
"Yeah, but you can call me Mike."
"You want to get a coffee and talk about getting you laid?"
"Yes," says Mike. "Yes, I do."
*
Misha Collins has bright blue eyes and a lot of stubble. Mike takes an instant liking to him--he looks like he probably has weed. If this goes well, maybe they can share some later. Mike thinks that any story ending with him getting weed is a happy story.
"So, how hot is this girl?"
"Unbelievably."
Misha nods. "And what do I have to do?"
"I promised Jared I wouldn't just ask him," says Mike. "Cuz he's afraid of rejection or some shit. Or of Jensen finding out about his epic love."
"Hm," says Misha. "Out of curiosity, Jared wouldn't happen to be very tall with brown hair and dimples, would he?"
"Gigantic," says Mike. "Yeah, that's him."
Misha beams. "Then we're in luck. Jensen won't shut up about this hot guy in his psych seminar."
"So all we have to do is set them up without telling Jensen that Jared that Jared is cuckoo for his cocoa puffs. So to speak."
"Right," says Misha. "No problem."
*
Misha is an English major, and he's actually really cool. Which Mike figures is probably a good thing, given their roommates' mutual desire to go off and have lots of ass sex. This way, if Jared ends up sexiling him, he has somewhere to go. He and Misha can play X-Box and complain about their lives. It'll be perfect.
And, as it turns out, Misha is also really smart, because before they're done with coffee, he comes up with a really simple, easy plan that in no way violates Mike's agreements about Jared's privacy.
"Hello, roommate mine," says Misha, pushing his door open. Jensen glances over, and Mike can see the appeal more in person. And from what Misha's said, Jensen is also a pretty cool guy, so Mike wholeheartedly approves of his and Jared's potential relationship.
"Hey, Misha," says Jensen. "Hey, Misha's friend."
"Mike," says Mike, waving.
"My friend Mike here has a problem. I thought you could help him."
"Oh yeah?"
"You know this whole screw-your-roommate dance?" Mike asks.
"Yeah," says Jensen, warily.
"I need to find a date for my roommate," says Mike. "But he's gay, and I don't really know a lot of gay guys. I was telling Misha about it and he said you were--"
"Misha," says Jensen, giving his roommate a look.
"What did you say your roommate looked like again?" Misha asks innocently.
"Six five, brown hair, kinda hazel eyes, I guess?" Mike shrugs. "I dunno, if I was into guys half a foot taller than me, I'd hit it."
Jensen gives Misha another look, less angry and more surprised. Misha nods slightly.
"Look, you'd be doing me a huge favor," says Mike. "I have the world's worst gaydar, and I'm afraid I'm gonna proposition a homophobic football player and get my ass handed to me."
"I guess it's just one date," says Jensen, like it's hardship.
"Exactly," says Mike, grinning as he thinks of Minka fucking Kelly, and one date with her.
"I'll go with him, yeah," says Jensen finally, and Mike barely resists the urge to whoop.
*
The next day, Misha sends Mike a text: j facebooked ur roomie. hes gonna set me up w/ this hot girl. iou.
Mike can't help laughing. dude we're so getting laid
*
Jared spends roughly seventeen hours trying to figure out what to wear (Mike suggests a fig leaf, but Jared is too far gone to appreciate humor of any kind), and by the time Jensen gets there to pick him up, Jared has only just managed to get on a tight t-shirt and even tighter jeans.
"Hey," says Jared, giving Jensen a shy smile. Then, he does a double-take, like he's just realizing for the first time that he kind of knows Jensen. It's a surprisingly good performance. "Oh, hey. You're in Kripke's psych seminar, aren't you?"
"Yeah," says Jensen, smiling back. "How's your paper going?"
"Oh, god, it sucks," says Jared, and Jensen laughs. He glances back at Mike, who hasn't had any time to get ready for his own date yet. "Let's talk about it on the way, leave Mike to pretty himself up."
"I'm plenty pretty," says Mike, rolling his eyes. He grins. "I'll see you guys over there."
"Bye, Mike!" says Jared, waving, and he mouths 'thank you,' as he leaves.
Mike barely keeps from laughing. They're kind of adorable, really.
*
Tragically, him and Minka? Less adorable. Yeah, Minka is hot, but as it turns out they have pretty much nothing in common. She's pre-med, interested in becoming a doctor who cures underprivileged children, and it's not like Mike doesn't think it's good, but he's just not really a good enough person to date Minka. And Minka is clearly not a one-night-stand kind of girl.
"Want something to drink?" he asks. They've been kind of half-heartedly dancing, and she looks relieved at the opportunity to stop and do anything else. "I'll go grab us something," he says, before she's even gotten a chance to nod.
He makes his way past the dance floor, where he can see Jared and Jensen totally making out, the assholes, and gets to the refreshments. Of course, since it's a freshman party, there's no booze, just soda, which sucks. Mike grabs a Coke and watches the crowd, which means, for better or for worse, he sees when some clean-cut boyscout guy approaches Minka and she barely even hesitates before she starts dancing with him.
He wants to be bitter, but, honestly, he doesn't blame her.
"Need a little something extra?" asks someone next to him, and there's Misha appearing at his side with a waggle of eyebrows.
"Huh?"
"If you want to go out back, I have a flask. It is very full of very cheap vodka."
Mike snorts. "Your evening must be going well."
"Jensen's hot friend took one look at me and said we'd never be anything but friends."
"Ouch. Let's go."
He follows Misha outside and takes the flask when Misha offers.
"So what happened with yours?" asks Misha. "Jared not follow through?"
"Nope. But she wants to be a doctor who saves starving babies from poverty, and I want to draw comic books."
"Mm," says Misha, swigging the flask and passing it back. "I could write them for you."
"I thought you wrote poetry."
"Graphic poetry," says Misha. "It's the future of the graphic novel."
"Our roommates are getting laid tonight, you know," says Mike. The alcohol burns as he chugs more, but he feels better overall. "I saw them making out in there."
"Good for them. Someone should get laid tonight."
"Yeah," Mike says. He glances over at Misha. It's too early for him to really be able to blame the alcohol, but he's wondering anyway. If Misha would be up for it. "I wonder which one of us they're planning to sexile."
"Come back to mine," says Misha. "We can stake a claim."
*
Mike's not exactly surprised when they get back and "staking a claim" turns out to mean "sexile them first." They're making out as soon as they get inside, Misha's long stubble strange against his face, but he doesn't even care, because Misha is a great kisser, and even better, he's already got his hand on Mike's dick, rubbing through his jeans. Girls are never this forward.
"You look a lot better with hair," Misha says, kissing down his neck. "I thought you were gonna be a bald weirdo."
"Lost a bet," says Mike. "Had to shave it senior year. Don't worry, I'm just a weirdo."
"Glad to hear it," says Misha. "My bed's over here."
"How fascinating."
They yank off each other's shirts as they fall into Misha's bed, still kissing. The world is spinning pleasantly around Mike, the alcohol kicking in more and more, and he feels warm and horny and content. Misha's pushing open his jeans, getting his hands so fucking close, when there's a giggle outside.
"Guess Misha's getting laid," says Jensen.
"Hope Mike's not," says Jared. "Man, it'd suck if they both were getting laid and we didn't have anywhere to--"
"There's a common room," says Jensen.
"Let's check my room first," says Jared. "Not that into exhibitionism."
"I'll learn you," Jensen shoots back.
"You know," says Misha, against Mike's lips, "this could be a very beneficial situation."
It hadn't occurred to Mike that this would be more than a one-night thing, but now that he thinks about it, Misha's got a point.
"Let's see how good you are at giving head before we get ahead of ourselves," Mike says.
"Oh, trust me," says Misha. "I'm very, very good."
"Prove it," says Mike, kissing him again, and Misha smirks against his lips and gets Mike out of his boxers.
*
The next morning, Mike wakes up with his head somewhere around Misha Collins' crotch.
"I guess that's why I have dick breath," he says, mostly to Misha's cock.
"That is a surprising side-effect of cocksucking," says Misha. "I never did check if you were bi."
"Yeah," says Mike. "Mostly."
"So this isn't going to be awkward."
Mike gives Misha's dick an experimental lick. It twitches a little. It's definitely not bad, even if he did feel much more confident about his abilities last night. As far as drunken Mike is concerned, he is an expert at all things.
"Are you going anywhere with that?"
Mike wraps his fist around Misha's dick and tries jerking it. It hardens in his hand, which is apparently a turn-on for him.
"Yeah," says Mike, leaning in. "Definitely."
*
When Jensen gets back, they are naked, but no one's cock is in anyone else's hand or mouth.
"Jesus Christ!" says Jensen.
"Yes I am," says Misha mildly. "So few people realize."
"I thought you came home with Danneel," says Jensen, glaring.
"I'm not her type."
"But you're his," says Jensen.
"You aren't homophobic, are you?" asks Misha.
Jensen flips him off. "I'm going back to your place," he adds, to Mike. "You two have fun."
They're quiet for a minute.
Finally, Mike says, "We're going to have the best double dates, aren't we?"
Misha laughs. "Yes, yes we are."
Author: poor_choices
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Michael Rosenbaum/Misha Collins, Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Rating: R
Word Count: 2600.
Summary: College AU. Michael Rosenbaum loves his big gay roommate, which is how he ends up scheming with Misha Collins.
Notes: Written for spn_j2_xmas, for queenklu. Hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.
Mike has the best roommate ever in the history of the world.
He realizes this fairly early on, because Jared Padalecki is clean, funny, awesome to hang out with, and gay. Mike loves gay guys. Not because he's gay--bi-curious, sure, but Jared's not his type--but because he never has to compete for chicks, and most of the ones he's met have a lot of hot female friends. And Jared is definitely not an exception here. Mike has never met anyone who knows so many babes in his life. Every time Jared leaves the dorm, it seems like he meets a indescribably sexy girl and becomes instant friends.
Mike doesn't always benefit from this--Jared has a strict "no one-night stands with my friends" policy because he doesn't want shit to get awkward, which Mike understands and respects--but he figures there is absolutely no downside to Jared's being a chick magnet.
There is even less downside when, a few weeks before the end of the semester, they get an e-mail about the all-frosh screw-your-roommate dance.
Mike's hear whispers of the screw-your-roommate dance when he first got to college, and he's been excited about it ever since. The basic idea is that your roommate finds a date for the dance for you, and vice versa. And given that every single girl Jared knows is someone Mike would not object to going out with, he figures his life is made.
But, of course, that's when Jared decides to get difficult.
"So," says Jared, flopping down on his bed. "This screw dance thing."
"Yeah," says Mike. "It's going to be awesome."
"I need you to do me a favor."
"For you, man? Anything."
"There's this guy," says Jared. "His name's Jensen--Ackles. Jensen Ackles. He's in my psych seminar. We've only spoken, like, twice, but, god, he's so fucking hot."
"And you want me to make this happen," says Mike. Mike has never been a gay pimp before, but he's willing to try anything once.
"Yeah, but," Jared lets out a huffy breath. "You can't, like, just go up and say, hey, my roommate has a big gay crush on you! That'd be embarrassing."
"Is he gay?" asks Mike.
"I don't know! I think so? But my gaydar isn't that great yet. I mean, I thought you were kind of gay."
"A little," Mike agrees. "Just not for you. So what do you want me to do exactly?"
"I don't know," says Jared miserably. "Talk to his roommate? Make it subtle? I swear, Mike, if you make this happen, I will hook you up with anyone you want. I don't care how awkward it'd get. Anyone."
Mike's almost tempted to say Sandy, Jared's best friend, but hot as she is, she's a little too wholesome for him, and that would be really mean. He clucks his tongue. "Minka Kelly?" Minka is gorgeous, and she's never even considered giving him the time of day.
"Minka? Dude, yeah! Minka loves me." Jared puts his hand on his heart. "I swear to God, Mike, if you set me up with Jensen for this dance, I will get Minka to go with you. I could maybe even get it in writing that she will give you a handjob."
Mike grins. "Dude, it's done. Don't even worry about it."
*
Mike's first step is to Facebook-stalk Jensen Ackles. He wonders what poor, lovesick college kids did before Facebook. Whatever it was, it was probably illegal.
Jensen is--hot, Mike guesses. He's definitely pretty, huge lips, light eyes, nice smile. All his pictures are of him drunk and laughing or sober and giving the camera the finger, so he seems like a fun guy. Plus, he's listed as single, and doesn't say what gender he's interested in, which is pretty encouraging, for Facebook.
They also have five friends in common, a few random people Mike knows from classes, and, thankfully, Tom. Mike went to high school with Tom, and they were always close, even though Tom was a year older than him. Tom will pretty much do anything for him.
Mike figures this is God's way of saying he wants Mike and Minka Kelly to get it on.
"Hey, Mike," says Tom, sounding happy. "What's up, dude?"
"I need your help."
"Yeah? With what?"
"You know Jensen Ackles?"
"Jensen, yeah," says Tom, sounding surprised. "He's in my dorm. What's up?"
Tom's an RA, so apparently God really wants Mike to get laid. It's fated, clearly.
"He doesn't happen to be into guys, does he?"
There's a pause. "Are you gay now?"
"Just my roommate," says Mike cheerfully.
"Oh, gotcha. Uh, yeah, I think Jensen's bi, maybe? He hooked up with my friend Justin at least once, so he's definitely at least a two-beer queer."
"Awesome," says Mike. "So,follow-up question: who's his roommate?"
*
Dear Misha Collins,
I'm Mike, and my roommate is in your roommate's psych seminar and has a big gay crush on him. I hear your roommate isn't totally opposed to sucking dick, so I'm hoping you can help me out here. If I can get your roommate to agree to do this screw dance with my roommate, I get a totally hot chick to go with me. And maybe blow me.
So, please, man, I'm begging you. He's too much of a wuss to just ask, so I have to be all matchmaker ninja. My sex life depends on you, Misha Collins.
Sincerely,
Michael Rosenbaum
*
Misha Collins calls him twenty minutes later. "Michael Rosenbaum?"
"Yeah, but you can call me Mike."
"You want to get a coffee and talk about getting you laid?"
"Yes," says Mike. "Yes, I do."
*
Misha Collins has bright blue eyes and a lot of stubble. Mike takes an instant liking to him--he looks like he probably has weed. If this goes well, maybe they can share some later. Mike thinks that any story ending with him getting weed is a happy story.
"So, how hot is this girl?"
"Unbelievably."
Misha nods. "And what do I have to do?"
"I promised Jared I wouldn't just ask him," says Mike. "Cuz he's afraid of rejection or some shit. Or of Jensen finding out about his epic love."
"Hm," says Misha. "Out of curiosity, Jared wouldn't happen to be very tall with brown hair and dimples, would he?"
"Gigantic," says Mike. "Yeah, that's him."
Misha beams. "Then we're in luck. Jensen won't shut up about this hot guy in his psych seminar."
"So all we have to do is set them up without telling Jensen that Jared that Jared is cuckoo for his cocoa puffs. So to speak."
"Right," says Misha. "No problem."
*
Misha is an English major, and he's actually really cool. Which Mike figures is probably a good thing, given their roommates' mutual desire to go off and have lots of ass sex. This way, if Jared ends up sexiling him, he has somewhere to go. He and Misha can play X-Box and complain about their lives. It'll be perfect.
And, as it turns out, Misha is also really smart, because before they're done with coffee, he comes up with a really simple, easy plan that in no way violates Mike's agreements about Jared's privacy.
"Hello, roommate mine," says Misha, pushing his door open. Jensen glances over, and Mike can see the appeal more in person. And from what Misha's said, Jensen is also a pretty cool guy, so Mike wholeheartedly approves of his and Jared's potential relationship.
"Hey, Misha," says Jensen. "Hey, Misha's friend."
"Mike," says Mike, waving.
"My friend Mike here has a problem. I thought you could help him."
"Oh yeah?"
"You know this whole screw-your-roommate dance?" Mike asks.
"Yeah," says Jensen, warily.
"I need to find a date for my roommate," says Mike. "But he's gay, and I don't really know a lot of gay guys. I was telling Misha about it and he said you were--"
"Misha," says Jensen, giving his roommate a look.
"What did you say your roommate looked like again?" Misha asks innocently.
"Six five, brown hair, kinda hazel eyes, I guess?" Mike shrugs. "I dunno, if I was into guys half a foot taller than me, I'd hit it."
Jensen gives Misha another look, less angry and more surprised. Misha nods slightly.
"Look, you'd be doing me a huge favor," says Mike. "I have the world's worst gaydar, and I'm afraid I'm gonna proposition a homophobic football player and get my ass handed to me."
"I guess it's just one date," says Jensen, like it's hardship.
"Exactly," says Mike, grinning as he thinks of Minka fucking Kelly, and one date with her.
"I'll go with him, yeah," says Jensen finally, and Mike barely resists the urge to whoop.
*
The next day, Misha sends Mike a text: j facebooked ur roomie. hes gonna set me up w/ this hot girl. iou.
Mike can't help laughing. dude we're so getting laid
*
Jared spends roughly seventeen hours trying to figure out what to wear (Mike suggests a fig leaf, but Jared is too far gone to appreciate humor of any kind), and by the time Jensen gets there to pick him up, Jared has only just managed to get on a tight t-shirt and even tighter jeans.
"Hey," says Jared, giving Jensen a shy smile. Then, he does a double-take, like he's just realizing for the first time that he kind of knows Jensen. It's a surprisingly good performance. "Oh, hey. You're in Kripke's psych seminar, aren't you?"
"Yeah," says Jensen, smiling back. "How's your paper going?"
"Oh, god, it sucks," says Jared, and Jensen laughs. He glances back at Mike, who hasn't had any time to get ready for his own date yet. "Let's talk about it on the way, leave Mike to pretty himself up."
"I'm plenty pretty," says Mike, rolling his eyes. He grins. "I'll see you guys over there."
"Bye, Mike!" says Jared, waving, and he mouths 'thank you,' as he leaves.
Mike barely keeps from laughing. They're kind of adorable, really.
*
Tragically, him and Minka? Less adorable. Yeah, Minka is hot, but as it turns out they have pretty much nothing in common. She's pre-med, interested in becoming a doctor who cures underprivileged children, and it's not like Mike doesn't think it's good, but he's just not really a good enough person to date Minka. And Minka is clearly not a one-night-stand kind of girl.
"Want something to drink?" he asks. They've been kind of half-heartedly dancing, and she looks relieved at the opportunity to stop and do anything else. "I'll go grab us something," he says, before she's even gotten a chance to nod.
He makes his way past the dance floor, where he can see Jared and Jensen totally making out, the assholes, and gets to the refreshments. Of course, since it's a freshman party, there's no booze, just soda, which sucks. Mike grabs a Coke and watches the crowd, which means, for better or for worse, he sees when some clean-cut boyscout guy approaches Minka and she barely even hesitates before she starts dancing with him.
He wants to be bitter, but, honestly, he doesn't blame her.
"Need a little something extra?" asks someone next to him, and there's Misha appearing at his side with a waggle of eyebrows.
"Huh?"
"If you want to go out back, I have a flask. It is very full of very cheap vodka."
Mike snorts. "Your evening must be going well."
"Jensen's hot friend took one look at me and said we'd never be anything but friends."
"Ouch. Let's go."
He follows Misha outside and takes the flask when Misha offers.
"So what happened with yours?" asks Misha. "Jared not follow through?"
"Nope. But she wants to be a doctor who saves starving babies from poverty, and I want to draw comic books."
"Mm," says Misha, swigging the flask and passing it back. "I could write them for you."
"I thought you wrote poetry."
"Graphic poetry," says Misha. "It's the future of the graphic novel."
"Our roommates are getting laid tonight, you know," says Mike. The alcohol burns as he chugs more, but he feels better overall. "I saw them making out in there."
"Good for them. Someone should get laid tonight."
"Yeah," Mike says. He glances over at Misha. It's too early for him to really be able to blame the alcohol, but he's wondering anyway. If Misha would be up for it. "I wonder which one of us they're planning to sexile."
"Come back to mine," says Misha. "We can stake a claim."
*
Mike's not exactly surprised when they get back and "staking a claim" turns out to mean "sexile them first." They're making out as soon as they get inside, Misha's long stubble strange against his face, but he doesn't even care, because Misha is a great kisser, and even better, he's already got his hand on Mike's dick, rubbing through his jeans. Girls are never this forward.
"You look a lot better with hair," Misha says, kissing down his neck. "I thought you were gonna be a bald weirdo."
"Lost a bet," says Mike. "Had to shave it senior year. Don't worry, I'm just a weirdo."
"Glad to hear it," says Misha. "My bed's over here."
"How fascinating."
They yank off each other's shirts as they fall into Misha's bed, still kissing. The world is spinning pleasantly around Mike, the alcohol kicking in more and more, and he feels warm and horny and content. Misha's pushing open his jeans, getting his hands so fucking close, when there's a giggle outside.
"Guess Misha's getting laid," says Jensen.
"Hope Mike's not," says Jared. "Man, it'd suck if they both were getting laid and we didn't have anywhere to--"
"There's a common room," says Jensen.
"Let's check my room first," says Jared. "Not that into exhibitionism."
"I'll learn you," Jensen shoots back.
"You know," says Misha, against Mike's lips, "this could be a very beneficial situation."
It hadn't occurred to Mike that this would be more than a one-night thing, but now that he thinks about it, Misha's got a point.
"Let's see how good you are at giving head before we get ahead of ourselves," Mike says.
"Oh, trust me," says Misha. "I'm very, very good."
"Prove it," says Mike, kissing him again, and Misha smirks against his lips and gets Mike out of his boxers.
*
The next morning, Mike wakes up with his head somewhere around Misha Collins' crotch.
"I guess that's why I have dick breath," he says, mostly to Misha's cock.
"That is a surprising side-effect of cocksucking," says Misha. "I never did check if you were bi."
"Yeah," says Mike. "Mostly."
"So this isn't going to be awkward."
Mike gives Misha's dick an experimental lick. It twitches a little. It's definitely not bad, even if he did feel much more confident about his abilities last night. As far as drunken Mike is concerned, he is an expert at all things.
"Are you going anywhere with that?"
Mike wraps his fist around Misha's dick and tries jerking it. It hardens in his hand, which is apparently a turn-on for him.
"Yeah," says Mike, leaning in. "Definitely."
*
When Jensen gets back, they are naked, but no one's cock is in anyone else's hand or mouth.
"Jesus Christ!" says Jensen.
"Yes I am," says Misha mildly. "So few people realize."
"I thought you came home with Danneel," says Jensen, glaring.
"I'm not her type."
"But you're his," says Jensen.
"You aren't homophobic, are you?" asks Misha.
Jensen flips him off. "I'm going back to your place," he adds, to Mike. "You two have fun."
They're quiet for a minute.
Finally, Mike says, "We're going to have the best double dates, aren't we?"
Misha laughs. "Yes, yes we are."