(no subject)
Title: My Social Skills Would Fit Good In Prison
Author: Chash
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki/Chad Michael Murray.
Rating: R
Warnings: None I can think of.
Word Count: 8300.
Summary: From what Jared understands, his college rooming situation is kind of like The Odd Couple, except for the way Jensen is a homophobic douchebag.
Notes: Written for j2_remix. I got to remix the amazing yourperiphery, and I decided to work with Domestic Bliss and Other Oxymorons and do a college AU and this came out! Isn't it amazing how these things happen. Title from Doctors & Dealers.
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.
Jared used to think they were just incompatible, but three weeks into the semester he realizes the real problem is that Jensen Ackles is a raging homophobe.
They don't start off on the wrong foot or anything, they're just different people. Jared is an animal-loving, easy-going, early-rising slob. Jensen is a chain-smoking, uptight, neat-freak party animal. Jared's not even sure how you become a neat-freak party animal, but Jensen is pretty much a mystery on every level. Jared never even thought of himself as a particularly dirty person before Jensen. He's just--sloppy. He'll drop clothes wherever he is when he takes them off, and they eventually get picked up and put in a pile, but he doesn't have a laundry bag, or coat hangers, or a dust buster. And Jensen has all those things and more.
It was all pretty superficial stuff, as far as Jared was concerned. If they'd just met in class, or at a party, he wouldn't have even known this stuff. Jared is an expert at making friends.
Living together, though, he just doesn't quite get Jensen. He's kind of like Jekyll and Hyde, or something. He has this love of sweater vests that Jared finds completely baffling, and he wears clunky emo glasses and skinny jeans and looks like a twinky poser. The other half, he puts in his contacts and wears torn-to-hell band t-shirts for country-rock groups that Jared wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole and jeans that are more hole than pant. Before he realized Jensen was a raging homphobe, Jared asked about this, and Jensen explained that he's an actor (he says it actor, not acter, and sounds like a pretentious douchenozzle), and that he plays many roles. Jared still isn't sure if he was kidding or not.
But anyway. The first three weeks of school, Jared wakes up earlier than Jensen and does his best to be quiet and respectful, and Jensen goes to bed later than Jared and does the same (much less successfully). Jared tries to control his mess, and Jensen tries not to reorganize Jared's desk while he's at class. They get along fairly well when they're both on the same page, which is more often than not, and Jared thinks that if they were in a two-bedroom apartment instead of a dorm room roughly twice Jared's size, they'd actually get along great.
But then, the hot guy who sits next to Jared in Medieval Celtic Literature gets up his nerves and asks Jared out.
Jared told Jensen their first day of being roommates that he was gay, and Jensen didn't seem bothered by it. He'd said something like, "Hey, man, however you wanna live your life," and Jared figured he lucked out with Jensen.
When he gets home, he's kind of walking on air, because it's his first date since he started college. He's gone to some parties, of course, but he hasn't actually gotten any. Jensen, who seems to dream of being the dorm bicycle, at least has the decency to put a tie on the door, but Jared's really looking forward to being on the other side of that equation.
Jensen stretches and cracks his neck when Jared breezes in at five-thirty. "Dude, I could eat a horse," he says, glancing over. "You want to do dinner early?"
"Man, I would," says Jared, trying to sound regretful, but mostly sounding excited, "but I've got a date. Chad from my lit class asked me out."
There's this pause Jared knows, recognizes as discomfort. He's had his share of people in his life who aren't sure about his sexuality, and he knows the signs by now, too well. "Oh. Cool," says Jensen, a little stiffly. "Have fun. I'll just go by myself."
"You could see if Tom wanted to go," says Jared, forcing lightness even though he feels kind of ill. Jensen's weird about this. He's probably one of those people who thinks he's fine with gay guys just because he's never seen them being gay, and as soon as it stops being a theoretical concept, he freaks out.
"Yeah, maybe," says Jensen. He gets up and doesn't look at Jared as he pulls on a sweater vest. "Have a good time."
"Yeah," says Jared. "Thanks."
*
Chad is kind of a dick, but he's unapologetic and hilarious about it, which counts for a lot in Jared's book. He does impressions of their professor, who should have retired a few years back, and when a fratboy-type gives them a wary glance, he puts on a ridiculous lisp and calls Jared honeycakes.
They make out a little on Jared's bed--Jensen, being Jensen, has disappeared with nothing more than an out and about under his name on the whiteboard on the door--before Jared tells Chad he is really not that cheap a date, and Chad laughs and they make plans for the weekend, make out a little more, and then Chad takes off.
Jared has class first thing in the morning--eight a.m., and he wants to get a run in first--so he crashes even though it's embarrassingly early.
He's woken up at an unidentified time of the night by giggling, both male and female, and the unrelenting light of the hallway coming in their open door.
"No, no," Jensen slurs, laughing, "don't worry, my roommate had a date, he's out getting laid, so we should--"
They make out in the doorway and then Jensen pulls her in and closes the door. It's dark again, but Jared can hear them, and apparently they're too drunk to hear him, because even when he puts his pillow over his head, they don't notice or stop. The girl is loud, lots of breathy moans and whimpers, like she's trying too hard. Jensen mostly grunts and says yeah, and Jared wants to die, because--Jensen is hot. Jensen has been hot since day one, and Jared has been doing his best to not be into him. And now that he's (possibly) a homophobic asshole who (definitely) has sex while his roommate (who has a potential boyfriend) is right there, Jared's dick is getting interested in Jensen's technique.
The girl leaves after they're done, and Jensen passes out without any difficulty. Jared has a lot more trouble.
*
Jared puts his alarm on snooze five times the next morning, even though he doesn't actually have any interest in sleeping in. Every time, Jensen groans and flails for his own alarm, sees it's not going off, rolls over and goes back to sleep. Jared skips his run, but still feels awesome.
When he gets back from class, Jensen is at his desk, looking exhausted, and Jared opens with, "Do we need something else to put on the door to show that I am home?"
Jensen at least has the decency to look embarrassed. "You were here for that? Jesus. Why didn't you say anything?"
"Like what? 'Stop having sex now?' Besides, my bed was squeaking and making no impression."
"Oh. Uh. Sorry."
Jared sighs. He knows part of it is just him being stupid and paranoid, thinking Jensen doesn't like him being with Chad despite his total lack of evidence. "Just check next time, okay?" Jensen nods. "Want to get lunch?"
There's another pause, same as last night. "I'll pass," he says, too casually. "Lotta work, you know. Figured I'd get it once I was done. You go ahead."
"Yeah," says Jared. "Okay."
*
"Jared," says Sandy when he calls her that night, "you're overreacting."
Sandy is Jared's best friend from high school. He wishes she hadn't gone all the way across the country for school, because no one is better at calming him down and making him see reason than she is. Luckily, they're on the same phone network, so he can call her whenever he becomes convinced that his roommate hates him.
"I know," says Jared. "Just--it feels different."
"Maybe he needs a little time to adjust," says Sandy reasonably. "I'm not saying you're totally off-base, but give him a chance. Don't decide he's a dick just because he's maybe never seen guy-on-guy action before."
Jared nods, even though Sandy can't see it. "I can do that."
"So," says Sandy, and he can picture her settling down on her bed, "tell me about the boy."
Jared laughs. "His name's Chad, he's kind of a dick, but hey, so am I."
*
Jared and Chad catch a movie on Saturday night, and Jared gets a handjob in his room while Jensen is at a party somewhere. Jared plans to send Chad home so Jensen doesn't have to deal with him in the morning, but instead he ends up blowing Chad and falling asleep, even though the two of them barely fit in Jared's bed.
He wakes up the next morning when Jensen stumbles in at around eleven, still wearing his party clothes, with a giant hickey on his neck. Chad moans and rolls over; Jared's glad they're both dressed.
"Sorry," says Jensen, looking anywhere but at Chad and Jared. "Figured he'd be--" Jensen rubs the back of his neck. "Anyway."
"No, um. You can," Jared jabs Chad in the side with his elbow. "We were just about to get up."
Chad groans and blinks up. "Jared?"
"Hey," says Jared, feeling less awkward than he should. "Um, get up. Want to grab lunch? Jensen?"
Chad flops around until he can see Jensen. "Roommate?"
Jensen looks stiff and unfriendly. "Jensen," he says.
"Sup," Chad manages, pulling himself up and stretching. Jared pulls on his shirt and tosses Chad his. "I'm Chad."
"Yeah," says Jensen. He turns back to Jared as he's pulling on his jeans. "I gotta meet up with Chris and Steve. See you later."
Jensen doesn't even bother changing his shirt, just slams the door as he goes.
"What's his problem?" asks Chad.
"He's a jerk," says Jared absently. He can't get his eyes off the door.
*
Jared comes back from class on Monday to see all of his stuff in a pile on his bed. The floor is spotless, Jensen's stuff is neatly organized, and everything Jared owns, including his laptop, is heaped on his comforter.
"This place is a pigsty," says Jensen, a challenge clear in his voice. When Jared doesn't reply, Jensen shrugs. "Want to grab lunch?"
So that's how it's gonna be, Jared thinks. "Yeah, sure."
*
The thing about their war is that neither of them actually acknowledges it. It's pretty much the most passive-aggressive Jared has ever been in his life, and it's weird for him, because he's generally a very open person. But something about Jensen just rankles him--he doesn't want to be the first to admit that there is something seriously up here.
He starts hiding alarms all over the room, setting them to go off in the morning and then "forgetting" them. Jensen, unsurprisingly, starts being louder at night. He doesn't turn down his music at all when Jared starts trying to go to sleep, and it isn't even a week before they both have dark circles under their eyes, but they don't mention it. They keep going to lunch together and playing Madden and acting the same with each other.
Jared steps it up when he manages to convince Chad that Jensen doesn't care if they have sex while he's in the room--he's still not sure how that worked out, but Chad's pretty much crazy, so he shouldn't be surprised. Jensen retaliates by bringing more girls home, and Jared figures it's only a matter of time before they both actually bring people home at the same time and have a sex-off, but it hasn't happened yet.
"What's your deal, anyway?" asks Chad. "Like, what's up with you two?"
"We just don't get along," Jared grumbles.
"He really threw away your homework?"
"Ugh," says Jared, sighing. "He said he was cleaning my desk."
"That's fucked up, man. You should fuck with his computer or something. Show him how it feels."
Jared grins. "Man, you rock."
So Jared does this trick his brother taught him (or pulled on him, but same difference) and takes a screencap of Jensen's desktop, hides all his icons and his task bar, and watches Jensen go totally nuts trying to doubleclick a jpeg.
"Jesus Christ," says Jensen. He glances over at Jared, and Jared does his best innocent-and-concerned look, like he has no idea why Jensen is looking at him.
Jensen, of course, sees right through, and doesn't ask, just shakes his head and keeps fiddling.
Jared pops his earbuds back in and grins.
*
The bitch of it is that, despite everything, despite the pranks and the weirdness and the homophobia, Jared likes Jensen. The whole unspoken bad roommate fight actually gets out all their aggression, and when they hang out, it's awesome.
Except for Chad.
Every time Jared kisses Chad, Jensen glowers. Every time Chad is around, Jensen makes excuses to be anywhere else.
"It's awful! He'd be a pretty decent guy if he wasn't such a raging homophobe."
Sandy tuts. "Maybe you could do something," she says. "I don't know. Teach him you're just like everyone else."
"He knows that," he says. "Just whenever Chad's around, he forgets, and thinks I have the plague."
"Hate the sin, love the sinner?" says Sandy, but she sounds thoughtful. "How's the boy, anyway?"
"Chad? Good. We played basketball with his buddies this weekend, got some video games in--"
"Jared," says Sandy, cautiously. "Look, I know you're happy, but--do you guys do anything romantic other than have sex?"
"No," says Jared, easily.
"I'm just worried he might be using you."
"Sandy," he says, rolling his eyes. "It's not like I'm not loving the sex. we just don't do a lot of dates anymore. It's not a big deal. I don't mind."
"I'm just looking out for you."
Jared smiles, full of fondness for this girl he hasn't seen in too long. "I know. I'll talk to you later, Sandy."
"Keep me posted," she says cheerfully. "You're better than a soap opera, Padalecki."
*
Jared is changing after his shower one day when Jensen comes in without knocking. He gets a full-frontal view when Jared turns at the noise, and turns so fucking red that Jared swears he can see the blush on his chest through his white shirt.
Jared's never been a huge fan of clothes in the first place, so he figures a great way to get Jensen used to gayness is to just go naked.
He expects Jensen to stop hanging out in the room, but apparently he's made of stronger stuff. Instead, he starts laying out outfits for Jared in the morning, like he's reminding him that people wear clothes.
Jared even starts wearing them. Jensen doesn't have half-bad taste, when he's not dressing himself.
*
"Wow, you weren't kidding," says a girl's voice.
Jared opens his eyes and feels very, very self-conscious, because a pretty red-headed girl is staring at his junk. He flushes almost as bad as Jensen.
"Uh," he says.
Jensen snorts. "Why would I make up my roommate's nudist tendencies?"
"Overactive imagination," says the girl dismissively.
Jared finds and pulls on some boxers, and then gives the girl his best grin. He feels too self-conscious to be annoyed, like he usually is with Jensen's girls.
"Hi," he says instead, extending a hand. "I'm Jared. I'm not actually a nudist, just lazy."
"Danneel," she says, shaking. "I thought Jensen just liked to complain about how much his life sucked."
"He likes that too."
"I should not have brought you home," Jensen says, groaning. "Jesus." He glances over at Jared. "We were gonna grab lunch. Want to put on some real clothes and come with?"
"You should," says Danneel. "We'd love to have you."
Traditionally, Jared says no. They only go to meals together if it's just the two of them, which, in retrospect, is weird. But he still feels guilty and disarmed and embarrassed, so he says yes.
Later, he will blame himself for this. As if by approving of her, even tacitly, he made Jensen like her more. Because she sticks around, and Jared realizes, slowly, that Danneel isn't one of Jensen's girls.
She's Jensen's girlfriend.
*
They're in the middle of a heated game of Madden--which Jared is winning--when Jensen says, "Okay, fuck. I can't take it anymore. Chad's cheating on you."
Jared's fingers slip, and his guy fumbles the ball. "Cheap shot, asshole," he mutters.
The game pauses, and Jensen looks genuinely unhappy and concerned. "That's not why--" he starts abortively. "Look," he says, pushing his hand through his hair. There's enough gel in it it's kind of a struggle for him. "I know I've never exactly been Chad's biggest fan, so I thought--I wasn't sure you'd believe me. I always thought he was a jerk. But--you gotta know. I saw him making out with some other guy at a party last week. And--you don't deserve that, Jared."
Jared swallows. It's, well, it's weird, to hear Jensen so concerned for him. He figured Jensen would be jumping for joy if he and Chad broke up.
"Um," says Jared. "Thanks, I guess. For telling me?" he tries. "I should go, um--talk to him?"
Jared doesn't actually know the protocol for when your homophobic roommate tells you your boyfriend has been cheating on you, because this has never come up in his life. Seriously, should he even believe Jensen?
He looks at Jensen's face, sad and tight and weirdly resigned, and scratches that question. He definitely believes Jensen.
So he calls up Chad to see if he's home, and ten minutes later, he's wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans and knocking on Chad's door.
"Hey, dude. What's up?" asks Chad. He doesn't look guilty or anything. He looks Chaddish.
Jared sighs. "Um, listen, Jensen, he, uh. He said you were making out with some guy at a party last week."
Chad just looks confused now. "Yeah, and?"
Jared gapes for a second.
"Oh--shit!" says Chad. "Oh, Jesus. Did you--shit, man. I thought we were just casual. I didn't think it was a thing."
Jared keeps gaping. They hadn't ever had the dating talk. He knows that. It's probably his own fault for assuming.
"Fucking Christ. I'm sorry," says Chad. "I didn't mean--dude, I'm a freshman in college. I don't want to be, like, settled. Shit. I thought we were--you know."
"No," says Jared, vaguely. "It's fine. I'll just--yeah. Have a good Thanksgiving," he says, and then takes off.
Chad calls three times on his way home, and Jared ignores it every time.
When he gets back to his own dorm, Danneel is there, kicking Jensen's ass at Halo. Jared pretty much likes Danneel, which is a total bitch. Jensen hated his boyfriend, but he thinks Jensen's girlfriend is kind of awesome.
Of course, Chad wasn't ever actually Jared's boyfriend.
Danneel looks over, concern in her eyes, as Jared comes in. "Everything okay?"
"Apparently we weren't actually dating," says Jared flatly. "Whatever. Can you guys just keep it down with the Madden and the sex? I'm going to bed until break starts."
"Jared--" Jensen starts, but Jared just waves his hand and faceplants into his bed.
*
"We're going to breakfast," says a perky voice when Jared gets back from the shower Sunday morning.
Jensen's still asleep, but Danneel is fully dressed and looking totally awake. She wasn't there when he woke up, so he has no idea when she got there. Some of his confusion must show on his face, because she just grins wider.
"I had Jensen call me when your first alarm went off," she says. "I'm taking you to breakfast."
"I don't need a girlfriend to talk me through my breakup," he mutters.
"Trust me, I know."
She ends up dragging him anyway, and, halfway through her coffee, casual as anything, she says, "So, Jensen and I aren't fucking."
Jared nearly spits his pancakes out. "What?"
"Jensen," she says. "We're not doing anything. I like girls. I have a girlfriend, actually."
Jared stares. "But Jensen, uh. He. What?"
"What?" she asks, looking amused.
"He's--" Jared flaps his hands. "He doesn't like that I'm gay."
Danneel stares. "Oh honey," she finally says, and Jared leaves more confused than he started.
*
When Jared gets home for Thanksgiving, he sleeps for a day straight with no loud music or multiple alarms, eats his weight in turkey, and then goes to see Sandy.
"Here's an idea," she says, after he's explained what happened with Chad. He's got his head in her lap, and she's patting his hair. He's so happy to see her he can't even describe it.
"Hm?" he asks.
"He likes you."
Jared opens his eye and stares at her. "Why would he like me?"
"You're cute, you're funny, you're--"
"No, I mean--what?"
"Look, Jared. He was totally fine and nice until you got a boyfriend, right?"
"Right," says Jared, warily.
"His best friend is a lesbian."
"Yeah."
"You parade around in front of him naked, he picks clothes for you--you guys are kind of flirting. In a totally fucked-up, kind of elementary school way."
"He doesn't like me, Sandy," says Jared. "He hates me."
"If he hated you, he wouldn't play video games with you all the time and hang out and actually be worried about you when the guy he hated cheated on you."
"We never said we were dating," Jared admits. "I mean, I assumed--"
"He was a jerk," says Sandy decisively. She's an awesome best friend. "But--think about it. I think Jensen really might have a thing for you."
Jared snorts. "Jensen hates my guts."
But he has to admit--her idea has some appeal.
*
When Jared gets back to campus, he conducts an informal poll of his friends and acquaintances to attempt to determine if Jensen is bi.
Tom, who lives upstairs, says he doesn't care, but that the redhead is hot. Alison, Tom's girlfriend, says Jensen always seemed nice to her, which isn't an answer and makes Jared doubt Alison's ability to read people. Adam from two doors down says he saw Jensen making out with a dude once, but then he decides it might not have been Jensen. Peyton from his statistics class doesn't actually know Jensen outside of the few times she's visited their room, and tells Jared that he's crazy. Sophia, who lives next door, and who has been kept up to date on the Jensen/Jared prank war because she smelled the rotten orange that Jared wrapped up and hid in Jensen's boot, says they should quit the foreplay and just fuck already.
He thinks about asking Chad, because Chad is actually the friend of his who has spent most time with Jensen, but then there's the awkward part where Chad is sort of his ex, and still really weird around him, and probably not inclined to help Jared figure out if his roommate is into him.
Their third class after Thanksgiving, Chad apologizes, again, and Jared finds he's not actually holding a grudge. Sure, he likes Chad, and the sex was pretty good, but he wasn't seriously invested in the two of them as a couple. And it was, admittedly, shitty of Chad to not inform Jared that he was making out with other people, but since Jared isn't actually torn up about it, there's no real reason to hold it against him. So they make up, and Jared manages, a few days later, to check if Chad thinks Jensen is bi.
"Dude, your roommate?" asks Chad. "Of course he's bi."
"How do you know?" Jared is struck by a sudden, horrible thought. "You guys didn't make out, did you? Like, he knew you were hooking up with other people because you guys did it?"
"No way," says Chad. "Dude hates me cuz he's so into you. And he hooked up with this kid Josh from my building. Trust me, your roommate likes dick."
"You really saw him hook up with another guy?" asks Jared. He doesn't take Chad or Sandy's theories about Jensen liking him as evidence, so this is an important point.
"Yeah. Seriously, dude."
So Jared squares his shoulders, goes home and decides to confront his roommate.
Of course, when he gets there, the word out is written under Jensen's name on their white board in his careful, even script.
Jared fucking wishes.
*
Jared's alarm goes off at seven, as usual for a Saturday, and he sets it on snooze on default, not even remembering that he has no reason to be obnoxious to Jensen right now.
When he gets back from his run an hour later, the alarm is still going off, and Jensen is flailing around trying to find Jared's phone, with no luck.
"Lost my glasses," says Jensen, with a glare. His hair's sticking up in all directions, and he's just wearing a pair of ugly boxers and a worn-out t-shirt.
He looks really adorable, and it catches Jared off-guard.
Jared finds his phone easily and switches it off. "Sorry, I hit the wrong button," he says.
"Your snooze is the worst, man," says Jensen. "Way too long."
Jared set it especially to go off every fifteen minutes, just enough time for Jensen to get back to sleep. He should probably change this.
He finds Jensen's glasses under his own bed, half-covered by the one of his shirts.
"Here," he says.
Jensen blinks and focuses. "Thanks," he says. "Ugh, fuck. No way I'm getting back to bed. If you shower, I'll go to breakfast with you."
It is the absolute worst time to bring this up, because he's smelly and Jensen is barely awake, but he can't help it. "Are you bi?" he asks.
Jensen blinks several times, like he thinks he might still be asleep, and then he says, "Huh?"
"You're bi, right?"
"Yeah?" he says. "And?"
"And you didn't tell me!"
"I thought you knew," says Jensen. He sounds genuinely baffled by this conversation.
"You couldn't have just said that when I told you I was gay? We could have bonded!"
"I'm not really a bonding bi," says Jensen mildly. "I'm not in the GSA or anything. I just think guys are hot." He scrubs his hand through his hair. "I thought you knew. I didn't mean to--whatever," he says. "But, yeah, I like guys sometimes. Now go shower, you smell like a barn."
"I do not," says Jared, but he goes anyway, doing his very best to not think about the entire Jensen thing.
*
Jared's life does not go through any kind of drastic change because he discovers Jensen likes guys. He doesn't put any extra effort into being a dick to Jensen, because Jensen is not actually a homophobic jerk. Jensen does still hate Chad, and seems pissed that Jared and Chad have reconciled, but Jared can't really hold that against him.
The only real change is that now Jared can't get what Sandy and Chad said about Jensen liking him out of his head, and he can't help thinking that, despite their entire bizarre first semester, he kind of likes Jensen too.
So that's weird.
*
"So you guys stopped fighting?" asks Sandy.
Jared lies back on his bed, closing his eyes. "I think so. He hasn't compulsively cleaned my stuff or thrown anything away, and I stopped setting my alarm and he stopped playing his music top volume at three a.m."
"And the other stuff?"
Jared plays dumb. "What other stuff?"
"Jared."
He sighs. "I don't think he's pining away for me or anything. I mean, if he was, he could've just said. He knows I'm gay, and it's not like I started dating Chad the first day of classes or anything. He had tons of time."
Sandy snorts. "Because everyone always immediately confesses their crushes. No one ever worries maybe it's just one-sided."
"Why would it be?"
"You guys don't exactly get along."
"Exactly! Why would he like me?"
"Well, you're not exactly hard on the eyes, Jared. And it's all superficial differences."
"Why do we always talk about this?"
He can practically hear Sandy rolling her eyes. "Maybe because you always bring Jensen up. Seriously, Jared, get your head out of your ass and make a move on him already. This is just like Ian Porter."
Ian Porter was Jared's first crush, before he'd realized he was gay. He talked about him pretty much non-stop, driving Sandy and Milo totally crazy, and it was actually almost an entire year before he figured out that he wanted in the guy's pants and didn't just think he was funny and smart and stuff, and Milo had nearly throttled him in the mean time.
"It is not," says Jared, more because he doesn't want it to be than because it isn't.
"When are you coming home for Christmas?" she asks.
"Two weeks," he says. "Another week of class and then finals."
"It'll be good to see you," she says. "I miss you. Thanksgiving just made it worse."
"Should've come to college with me," he says loftily.
"Or you could've come with me. Jerk."
Jared laughs. The door opens and Jensen comes in, and Jared waves vaguely. "Roommate's home, better go grab dinner. Love you."
"Love you too, Jared. See if you can get something romantic and candlelit."
Jared laughs and hangs up. Jensen raises his eyebrows. "Tell me that wasn't Chad."
"Sandy. Friend from home. What's wrong with me and Chad being friends again?"
Jensen shrugs. "Nothing, man. It's your life." Jared opens his mouth to respond, but Jensen cuts him off. "Dinner?"
Jared sighs. "Yeah. Dinner's great."
*
Jared decides that, given how douchetastic and stupid everyone agreed he'd gotten over Ian Porter, it's important that he sit down, shut up, and actually think about his feelings.
Sandy's right, it's not like he and Jensen have earth-shattering differences that mean they could never be happy together. It's roommate incompatibility 101, pretty much--one's neat, one's not! Jared is pretty sure that was the plot of The Odd Couple, and that show was on for years. And, yeah, there's more to it than that, but when they aren't trying to piss each other off, life is actually not bad.
And there's the superficial stuff that he'd like to think he's above but isn't, the way Jensen is hot (in a kind of weirdly twinky way), and the way Jared still occasionally has wet dreams about how Jensen sounds when he has sex, but Sandy doesn't know any of that and is still convinced Jared's in love with Jensen.
If Jensen had just been a guy, someone he met in class, he wouldn't have any problem asking him out, but he's not. He's Jared's roommate, and if doesn't work out, he still has to live with him.
But Jared wants.
"I think," he tells Sophia, a few days after he admits to himself that, yes, he'd like to date Jensen, "I should wait."
Sophia stares at him. "Yeah, I can tell that not going out with him has clearly worked really well for you."
Jared glares. "I just think--I've been thinking about this too much."
"That's clear," Sophia mutters.
"And," Jared soldiers on, glaring at her, "I figure I should wait until after Christmas break. You know, come back fresh, really consider things."
Sophia looks surprised. "Wow. That's surprisingly mature, Jared."
"I have my moments," says Jared smugly.
"This is the first one I've seen."
"Shut up."
*
Of course, Jared's never been very good with plans.
It's Wednesday, two days before Jared's last exam, and Jensen's already done, because he's a lucky son of a bitch.
"Hey," says Jensen, sounding a little too casual, "stop studying and come to this thing with me."
Jensen's much more of a party guy than Jared. Jared doesn't thrive in crowds--Jensen seems to enjoy the anonymity, or maybe just the booze. Jared prefers smaller venues, something more intimate with people he knows.
"What thing?" he asks warily.
"My friend Chris's band is playing. It's in the common room downstairs. You don't even have to go outside," says Jensen, with a smirk.
"Some of us still have finals," he hedges.
"Dude, Jared. You've been studying all day. If you don't take a break, your brain is gonna overload."
Jensen's got this soft smile on his face, like he thinks Jared's dumb, but he's okay with it, and it's the fondness that makes him give in.
"Fine," he says. "Now?"
"You gotta change first," says Jensen, rolling his eyes. "No way I'm gonna be seen in public with you looking like that."
Jared rolls his eyes, but acknowledges that he's really not dressed for a party.
"Little privacy?" he asks, finding his clothes, and Jensen just raises his eyebrow.
"This from the guy who used to wander around the dorm naked?"
"Shut up," Jared mutters, but pulls off his shirt with Jensen still there. "Better?" he asks, gesturing to his new shirt.
"Yeah, but your jeans suck too."
"Jesus, you're picky," says Jared, sticking out his tongue, and now that he actually thinks about it, it's pretty easy to see that they've been flirting for a while.
"You're a bum," says Jensen.
Jared kicks off his jeans and grins.
*
The common room is dark and hot and smelly, which is what Jared usually expects from parties. Jensen knocks their shoulders together and makes motions to show that he's going to go check in with Chris, and Jared waves his hand to convey his blessing.
"I'll be back later!" Jensen calls over the din of the opening band. Jared just nods and works his way through the crowd. He spots Danneel, but she's dirty-dancing with a cute blonde, so he settles on giving her a wave instead of talking to her. She gives him a you're-an-idiot smile and a wave back, and he wonders if Jensen ever gets that look. He totally deserves it.
He's looking around for Sophia or Tom when he spots Chad, who grins and waves him over. He looks around for Jensen, but he's still engrossed with Chris and Steve, so he shrugs and makes his way over to Chad.
"Hey!" Chad yells. "Dude, didn't think you'd be here!"
"Too much studying!" Jared calls back. The music's already throbbing in his skull.
Chad laughs. "Where's your roommate?"
"Hanging out with the band!"
Chad nods. "Wanna dance?"
In the back of his mind, Jared knows it's a bad idea. But he likes dancing, and he likes Chad, and it's not like they're having sex or getting married. They're dancing at a party, and you're supposed to dance at a party.
And, to be fair, Jensen made him do a few shots before they came down, so his decision-making is not totally valid.
"Sure!" he says.
It starts out easy--they're just moving to the music, nothing out of the ordinary. But somehow, without really knowing what's happening, he gets closer to Chad, and they start dancing, like Danneel was dancing with the blonde girl, and Jared doesn't mind. After all, he likes Chad, he likes sex, so what's wrong with maybe hooking up with him? It's not like it would be the first time.
He pulls Chad closer, and Chad looks surprised, eyes wide, and not totally happy about it.
"Jared--" Chad starts, but then there's a rough hand on his shoulder, and Jared finds himself being pulled away.
"Need to talk to you," says Jensen. He looks pissed, and Jared is suddenly pissed too, because he hasn't made any promises to Jensen, and he wasn't doing anything wrong.
But he lets Jensen drag him outside, into the hallway, and glare at him.
"What?" says Jared.
"How stupid are you?"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It's supposed to mean--he's a dick, Jared! He was already cheating on you--" Jared opens his mouth to object and Jensen just keeps glaring. "No, look, I don't care if he didn't think you were dating, you did, and you had every right too, and he was a bastard for not keeping you on the same page."
"So now I know we're not dating! What's wrong with having a little fun?"
Jensen snorts. "God, why do I even try?"
"I don't know, Jensen! Why do you? What do you care who I'm fucking?"
Jensen glares up at him, looking so pissed Jared's afraid he's going to throw a punch, but he doesn't. Instead, he grabs Jared's shoulders and pulls him down into a kiss.
Jared's hazy from alcohol, but his mind can't stop working. He'd been sure he liked Jensen, but he had never gotten all the way convinced Jensen liked him back.
But Jensen is kissing him like he really, really means it, tongue demanding and hands roving, and Jared is kissing back even as the still-rational parts of his mind tell him this is not at all what he'd been planning.
And then Jensen is pressing closer, Jensen's dick is rubbing up against his, and Jared's rational brain shuts down. He finds himself pressing closer, rubbing against Jensen, all of his brainpower going in to memorizing the taste and feel of him.
And then Jensen is saying, "Come on," and they're going upstairs, stopping every few feet to kiss again, and tumbling into Jensen's bed, and he barely has any time to think about how terrible an idea this is.
*
By the time Jared wakes up the next morning, all Jensen's stuff is gone, and he's probably bound for the airport and home. For the next month. Jared has about seventeen hickeys, memories of an absolutely amazing blowjob, and a test in under twenty-four hours.
"Jesus Christ," he mutters, and collapses back down onto Jensen's bed.
*
Of course, Jared has Jensen's cellphone number, but Jensen is the one who left without waking him up, or leaving a note, or in any way acknowledging that anything had happened, and Jared isn't really sure if it's his place to make the first move here, or even what the first move would be. Jensen is pretty much one unending headache, and he doesn't know how to fix it. Does he text and say he had fun? Does he call to make sure Jensen's flight got in?
In the end, he studies, finishes his last final, flies home, lets his mama take care of him and Sandy smack him for being an idiot, and doesn't text Jensen until Christmas, when he sends a simple merry xmas. Jensen responds with tnx man, u 2, and Jared risks a c u in a cuple wks, which doesn't get a response.
Sandy smacks him again after that, but he really has no idea how that's his fault.
*
Jared gets back to campus pretty early--he got hired to work in the biology lab for second semester, and he has to train before classes start. When he gets in, the room is exactly as he left it, except it smells worse, and he finds an old orange growing mold somewhere in the depths of his desk. Jensen presumably hasn't been home, since none of his stuff is around and he probably would have gotten rid of Jared's rotting garbage.
He's kind of glad to be there first, so he can establish himself. Get comfortable again before he has to actually face Jensen, and figure out if they've got anything here other than awkwardness and chemistry.
He shoots Jensen an e-mail, just a quick hey, when are you getting back to campus? and still doesn't get a response.
He doesn't worry too much because Jensen lives with him, and it's not like Jensen can ignore him forever. He has to sleep sometimes, and Jared can always skip all his classes and just lurk under his bed, waiting to strike. Because part of his plan actually did work; he spent his entire break obsessing about Jensen, and deciding that, yes, this is definitely worth a try.
*
Of course, now that Jared's made up his mind, Jensen isn't on the same page.
He hasn't been to the dorm once since Jared got back. Classes have started, and no Jensen. He definitely hasn't just been coming while Jared is at class, either--there's been no sign of anyone else in the dorm at all. There are no e-mails, no notes, and the space under Jensen's name on the whiteboard remains blank and unhelpful.
"I didn't do anything wrong, right? I guess I didn't text him and tell him I wanted to date him, but I think I'm supposed to do that in person, right? God, I don't even know. I wish I knew what his classes were. I could stalk him. But that might be weird. Uh." He sighs. "Call me back, I guess."
He could probably leave a message like that for Jensen, but he'd just be embarrassed. Sandy's just going to call him an idiot; she's not going to break his heart.
By the weekend, Jared is desperate, the room is a wreck, and he's lonely. His half of the whiteboard is covered in emo poetry, and shit about how alone he is.
And then, Jared thinks--fuck this.
He grabs a garbage bag and starts cleaning. He makes Tom loan him his car so he can go to Walmart and buy shit like a laundry bag, and file folders, and Febreeze, and more garbage bags, because one is not enough. He scrubs and organizes, washes both their sheets, and puts all of Jensen's stuff that's out of place (almost nothing) in a neat pile on his desk, without throwing any of it away.
On impulse, he shoves the beds together in the corner and makes them together as best they can. One bunk is barely big enough for him alone, and he's hoping that they're going to have a lot more nights together. It seems like a good gesture.
Finally, he takes down the white board, scrubs it clean, writes SORRY :( under his name and ???? under Jensen's, and calls it a day.
*
Three days later, a girl's hand he recognizes as Danneel's has written dumbass under his name, and what looks like Chris's handwriting has added hiding at Danneel's under Jensen's.
It's not exactly the most encouraging message in the world, but Jared sure as hell isn't going to just give up without a fight.
When he gets to Danneel's, the blonde girl from the party opens the door, and looks him up and down with the patronizing smile he's getting way too used to seeing now.
"You must be Jared," she says.
"Yeah. You're, uh--Danneel's roommate?" He wonders if everyone is just hooking up with their roommates. It does seem kind of logical. Not a lot of worrying about sexiling.
Not that he and Jensen ever worried about that, but he's figuring out that he and Jensen are fucked up.
The girl laughs. "Girlfriend. Who's not getting any right now, and it's your fault, because your roommate's sleeping on the couch and pussy-blocking me."
Jared thinks, wildly, that she means Jensen is sleeping on the couch right this second, and he tries to see into the room.
"He's at class now," she says, shaking her head. "He'll probably be back in like fifteen minutes."
"Oh," says Jared.
"You can come in if you want," she says. "I'm Kristen, by the way."
"Jared," he says. "But I guess you've heard."
"Danneel says you're a dumbass."
"Does anyone ever tell Jensen he's a dumbass, or is it just me? Because I think he's being a dumbass too."
"Trust me, everyone thinks you're both dumbasses. Danneel tweets about how Jensen is an idiot at least once a day."
"Good," says Jared, actually feeling better about this thing for the first time in a few months, because at least everyone realizes he isn't the only problem with this non-relationship.
"You want to come in?" asks Kristen. "I've got to go in a couple minutes, but this way you can hang out and ambush Jensen, and I can go back to getting laid regularly." She smiles brightly. "Everybody wins."
Jared laughs. "Stalking is in, right?"
"I don't think you have a choice," says Kristen, sounding kind of sympathetic. "He was planning to just live here, I think."
Jared rubs his forehead. "Jesus, if he doesn't want to date me, I'm not going to make him."
Kristen just sighs. "You guys suck."
"Yeah," Jared agrees. "Sorry about that."
Kristen gives him an encouraging pat on the shoulder. "I gotta go. Good luck. Remember--it's not just your sex life on the line here. Think of me."
Jared laughs, and sits down, and it's not until she's been gone for a few minutes that the panic really sets in.
Everyone wants him to talk to Jensen, and he thinks he'll go crazy if he doesn't, but that doesn't change the fact that Jensen ran from him, that he's terrified that Jensen regrets everything.
But Jensen kissed him first. Jensen brought them upstairs, and maybe he was just horny and angry and--Jared shakes his head. There is absolutely no reason to talk himself out of this. Worst case scenario, he'll move out. Because he gets the feeling that if Jensen moves in with Danneel, her girlfriend will come and murder Jared for keeping her from having sex.
Jared is a little terrified of tiny blonde girls. He might have a size advantage, but they're vicious.
He leans back on the couch and sighs. It smells like Jensen, which he feels lame for knowing, but he does live with Jensen. It would probably be weirder if he didn't know what Jensen smelled like.
He grabs a book--Ulysses, probably Jensen's, stupid English majors--and starts trying to read, but he can't concentrate, and it's Ulysses, so it'd be a challenge even with 100% of his brain going into it. Still, it gives him something to do with his hands, and that's nice.
He hears the door opening and promptly drops the book on his toe in his haste to stand up.
"Hey, I--" Jensen stops and stares. Jared tries a hesitant smile, trying to combine hopeful and confused and apologetic into one expression. He thinks he probably just comes off awkward. Jensen swallows visibly. "You're not Kristen."
"She left," says Jared. "Had somewhere to go."
"Of course she did," says Jensen.
"Look--" starts Jared.
"Sorry," says Jensen, dropping his bag on the floor.
Jared stares. "You're apologizing to me?"
"I should've--not done what I did," says Jensen, not looking at him.
"Yeah," Jared agrees. "You should've woken me up before you left."
Jensen laughs. "I'm not great at getting let down easy, man."
It takes Jared a minute to figure out what Jensen thought, and he starts laughing suddenly, because he feels dumb and happy and nervous all at the same time. Because easy is everything this probably should have been, and nothing of what it was.
"I like you," says Jared. "I cleaned the entire dorm. I scrubbed my desk. I got rid of all the food I hid in your desk. And--I might have shoved our beds together, because that killed my back last time, and I want there to be a lot of next times."
Jensen stares at him.
"I'm not--I just didn't think you liked me," says Jared. "At all. I mean, why would you? I'm a gross slob and I was a jerk to you, so--" he laughs. "Everyone told me you liked me, and I just figured you had better taste than that, I guess."
Jensen clears his throat. "Dating your roommate is a really bad idea," he says.
"Yeah," agrees Jared.
"I figured I'd just skip it."
"Oh," says Jared. He rubs the back of his neck. "I can--I'm not going to force you, or--god, I'm--"
He hears Jensen laugh. "Jesus Christ, we suck at this." When he looks up, Jensen is grinning at him. "Jared. I was trying really hard to hate you."
Jared grins back. "But you don't."
"No," Jensen agrees.
"I tried pretty hard to. To get you to hate me."
"Trust me, I noticed," says Jensen.
"So, I'm thinking--dating can't possibly be worse than last semester, right?" says Jared. "There is no way we suck more at being in a relationship than we sucked at being roommates."
"And if we break up, I already have a couch to crash on," Jensen points out.
"God, we can't. Danneel's girlfriend would kill me in my sleep."
Jensen laughs. He can't stop smiling either. It's like he doesn't know how to. "Yeah, she's pretty scary."
Jared leans over, presses his lips to Jensen's quickly, just lips on lips because he wants to know he can.
"You coming back?"
"Yeah," says Jensen. "Let me get my stuff."
*
Jared's alarm goes off at 6:45.
"Jesus Christ," says Jensen, from somewhere near his shoulder. "I fucking hate you."
Jared hugs him, which just smushes Jensen's face into his armpit. "You love me."
Jensen flails his arms around until he successfully hits Jared in the chest. "Ugh, Jesus." Jared lets him go and settles back into bed.
"Did you put that on snooze?" asks Jensen. "I will murder you if you put that in snooze. In cold blood. I will do the time."
"I turned it off," says Jared. He grins and pulls Jensen closer, but not into any part of his body that smells. Well, not in particular, anyway. "I thought I'd sleep in."
Author: Chash
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki/Chad Michael Murray.
Rating: R
Warnings: None I can think of.
Word Count: 8300.
Summary: From what Jared understands, his college rooming situation is kind of like The Odd Couple, except for the way Jensen is a homophobic douchebag.
Notes: Written for j2_remix. I got to remix the amazing yourperiphery, and I decided to work with Domestic Bliss and Other Oxymorons and do a college AU and this came out! Isn't it amazing how these things happen. Title from Doctors & Dealers.
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.
Jared used to think they were just incompatible, but three weeks into the semester he realizes the real problem is that Jensen Ackles is a raging homophobe.
They don't start off on the wrong foot or anything, they're just different people. Jared is an animal-loving, easy-going, early-rising slob. Jensen is a chain-smoking, uptight, neat-freak party animal. Jared's not even sure how you become a neat-freak party animal, but Jensen is pretty much a mystery on every level. Jared never even thought of himself as a particularly dirty person before Jensen. He's just--sloppy. He'll drop clothes wherever he is when he takes them off, and they eventually get picked up and put in a pile, but he doesn't have a laundry bag, or coat hangers, or a dust buster. And Jensen has all those things and more.
It was all pretty superficial stuff, as far as Jared was concerned. If they'd just met in class, or at a party, he wouldn't have even known this stuff. Jared is an expert at making friends.
Living together, though, he just doesn't quite get Jensen. He's kind of like Jekyll and Hyde, or something. He has this love of sweater vests that Jared finds completely baffling, and he wears clunky emo glasses and skinny jeans and looks like a twinky poser. The other half, he puts in his contacts and wears torn-to-hell band t-shirts for country-rock groups that Jared wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole and jeans that are more hole than pant. Before he realized Jensen was a raging homphobe, Jared asked about this, and Jensen explained that he's an actor (he says it actor, not acter, and sounds like a pretentious douchenozzle), and that he plays many roles. Jared still isn't sure if he was kidding or not.
But anyway. The first three weeks of school, Jared wakes up earlier than Jensen and does his best to be quiet and respectful, and Jensen goes to bed later than Jared and does the same (much less successfully). Jared tries to control his mess, and Jensen tries not to reorganize Jared's desk while he's at class. They get along fairly well when they're both on the same page, which is more often than not, and Jared thinks that if they were in a two-bedroom apartment instead of a dorm room roughly twice Jared's size, they'd actually get along great.
But then, the hot guy who sits next to Jared in Medieval Celtic Literature gets up his nerves and asks Jared out.
Jared told Jensen their first day of being roommates that he was gay, and Jensen didn't seem bothered by it. He'd said something like, "Hey, man, however you wanna live your life," and Jared figured he lucked out with Jensen.
When he gets home, he's kind of walking on air, because it's his first date since he started college. He's gone to some parties, of course, but he hasn't actually gotten any. Jensen, who seems to dream of being the dorm bicycle, at least has the decency to put a tie on the door, but Jared's really looking forward to being on the other side of that equation.
Jensen stretches and cracks his neck when Jared breezes in at five-thirty. "Dude, I could eat a horse," he says, glancing over. "You want to do dinner early?"
"Man, I would," says Jared, trying to sound regretful, but mostly sounding excited, "but I've got a date. Chad from my lit class asked me out."
There's this pause Jared knows, recognizes as discomfort. He's had his share of people in his life who aren't sure about his sexuality, and he knows the signs by now, too well. "Oh. Cool," says Jensen, a little stiffly. "Have fun. I'll just go by myself."
"You could see if Tom wanted to go," says Jared, forcing lightness even though he feels kind of ill. Jensen's weird about this. He's probably one of those people who thinks he's fine with gay guys just because he's never seen them being gay, and as soon as it stops being a theoretical concept, he freaks out.
"Yeah, maybe," says Jensen. He gets up and doesn't look at Jared as he pulls on a sweater vest. "Have a good time."
"Yeah," says Jared. "Thanks."
*
Chad is kind of a dick, but he's unapologetic and hilarious about it, which counts for a lot in Jared's book. He does impressions of their professor, who should have retired a few years back, and when a fratboy-type gives them a wary glance, he puts on a ridiculous lisp and calls Jared honeycakes.
They make out a little on Jared's bed--Jensen, being Jensen, has disappeared with nothing more than an out and about under his name on the whiteboard on the door--before Jared tells Chad he is really not that cheap a date, and Chad laughs and they make plans for the weekend, make out a little more, and then Chad takes off.
Jared has class first thing in the morning--eight a.m., and he wants to get a run in first--so he crashes even though it's embarrassingly early.
He's woken up at an unidentified time of the night by giggling, both male and female, and the unrelenting light of the hallway coming in their open door.
"No, no," Jensen slurs, laughing, "don't worry, my roommate had a date, he's out getting laid, so we should--"
They make out in the doorway and then Jensen pulls her in and closes the door. It's dark again, but Jared can hear them, and apparently they're too drunk to hear him, because even when he puts his pillow over his head, they don't notice or stop. The girl is loud, lots of breathy moans and whimpers, like she's trying too hard. Jensen mostly grunts and says yeah, and Jared wants to die, because--Jensen is hot. Jensen has been hot since day one, and Jared has been doing his best to not be into him. And now that he's (possibly) a homophobic asshole who (definitely) has sex while his roommate (who has a potential boyfriend) is right there, Jared's dick is getting interested in Jensen's technique.
The girl leaves after they're done, and Jensen passes out without any difficulty. Jared has a lot more trouble.
*
Jared puts his alarm on snooze five times the next morning, even though he doesn't actually have any interest in sleeping in. Every time, Jensen groans and flails for his own alarm, sees it's not going off, rolls over and goes back to sleep. Jared skips his run, but still feels awesome.
When he gets back from class, Jensen is at his desk, looking exhausted, and Jared opens with, "Do we need something else to put on the door to show that I am home?"
Jensen at least has the decency to look embarrassed. "You were here for that? Jesus. Why didn't you say anything?"
"Like what? 'Stop having sex now?' Besides, my bed was squeaking and making no impression."
"Oh. Uh. Sorry."
Jared sighs. He knows part of it is just him being stupid and paranoid, thinking Jensen doesn't like him being with Chad despite his total lack of evidence. "Just check next time, okay?" Jensen nods. "Want to get lunch?"
There's another pause, same as last night. "I'll pass," he says, too casually. "Lotta work, you know. Figured I'd get it once I was done. You go ahead."
"Yeah," says Jared. "Okay."
*
"Jared," says Sandy when he calls her that night, "you're overreacting."
Sandy is Jared's best friend from high school. He wishes she hadn't gone all the way across the country for school, because no one is better at calming him down and making him see reason than she is. Luckily, they're on the same phone network, so he can call her whenever he becomes convinced that his roommate hates him.
"I know," says Jared. "Just--it feels different."
"Maybe he needs a little time to adjust," says Sandy reasonably. "I'm not saying you're totally off-base, but give him a chance. Don't decide he's a dick just because he's maybe never seen guy-on-guy action before."
Jared nods, even though Sandy can't see it. "I can do that."
"So," says Sandy, and he can picture her settling down on her bed, "tell me about the boy."
Jared laughs. "His name's Chad, he's kind of a dick, but hey, so am I."
*
Jared and Chad catch a movie on Saturday night, and Jared gets a handjob in his room while Jensen is at a party somewhere. Jared plans to send Chad home so Jensen doesn't have to deal with him in the morning, but instead he ends up blowing Chad and falling asleep, even though the two of them barely fit in Jared's bed.
He wakes up the next morning when Jensen stumbles in at around eleven, still wearing his party clothes, with a giant hickey on his neck. Chad moans and rolls over; Jared's glad they're both dressed.
"Sorry," says Jensen, looking anywhere but at Chad and Jared. "Figured he'd be--" Jensen rubs the back of his neck. "Anyway."
"No, um. You can," Jared jabs Chad in the side with his elbow. "We were just about to get up."
Chad groans and blinks up. "Jared?"
"Hey," says Jared, feeling less awkward than he should. "Um, get up. Want to grab lunch? Jensen?"
Chad flops around until he can see Jensen. "Roommate?"
Jensen looks stiff and unfriendly. "Jensen," he says.
"Sup," Chad manages, pulling himself up and stretching. Jared pulls on his shirt and tosses Chad his. "I'm Chad."
"Yeah," says Jensen. He turns back to Jared as he's pulling on his jeans. "I gotta meet up with Chris and Steve. See you later."
Jensen doesn't even bother changing his shirt, just slams the door as he goes.
"What's his problem?" asks Chad.
"He's a jerk," says Jared absently. He can't get his eyes off the door.
*
Jared comes back from class on Monday to see all of his stuff in a pile on his bed. The floor is spotless, Jensen's stuff is neatly organized, and everything Jared owns, including his laptop, is heaped on his comforter.
"This place is a pigsty," says Jensen, a challenge clear in his voice. When Jared doesn't reply, Jensen shrugs. "Want to grab lunch?"
So that's how it's gonna be, Jared thinks. "Yeah, sure."
*
The thing about their war is that neither of them actually acknowledges it. It's pretty much the most passive-aggressive Jared has ever been in his life, and it's weird for him, because he's generally a very open person. But something about Jensen just rankles him--he doesn't want to be the first to admit that there is something seriously up here.
He starts hiding alarms all over the room, setting them to go off in the morning and then "forgetting" them. Jensen, unsurprisingly, starts being louder at night. He doesn't turn down his music at all when Jared starts trying to go to sleep, and it isn't even a week before they both have dark circles under their eyes, but they don't mention it. They keep going to lunch together and playing Madden and acting the same with each other.
Jared steps it up when he manages to convince Chad that Jensen doesn't care if they have sex while he's in the room--he's still not sure how that worked out, but Chad's pretty much crazy, so he shouldn't be surprised. Jensen retaliates by bringing more girls home, and Jared figures it's only a matter of time before they both actually bring people home at the same time and have a sex-off, but it hasn't happened yet.
"What's your deal, anyway?" asks Chad. "Like, what's up with you two?"
"We just don't get along," Jared grumbles.
"He really threw away your homework?"
"Ugh," says Jared, sighing. "He said he was cleaning my desk."
"That's fucked up, man. You should fuck with his computer or something. Show him how it feels."
Jared grins. "Man, you rock."
So Jared does this trick his brother taught him (or pulled on him, but same difference) and takes a screencap of Jensen's desktop, hides all his icons and his task bar, and watches Jensen go totally nuts trying to doubleclick a jpeg.
"Jesus Christ," says Jensen. He glances over at Jared, and Jared does his best innocent-and-concerned look, like he has no idea why Jensen is looking at him.
Jensen, of course, sees right through, and doesn't ask, just shakes his head and keeps fiddling.
Jared pops his earbuds back in and grins.
*
The bitch of it is that, despite everything, despite the pranks and the weirdness and the homophobia, Jared likes Jensen. The whole unspoken bad roommate fight actually gets out all their aggression, and when they hang out, it's awesome.
Except for Chad.
Every time Jared kisses Chad, Jensen glowers. Every time Chad is around, Jensen makes excuses to be anywhere else.
"It's awful! He'd be a pretty decent guy if he wasn't such a raging homophobe."
Sandy tuts. "Maybe you could do something," she says. "I don't know. Teach him you're just like everyone else."
"He knows that," he says. "Just whenever Chad's around, he forgets, and thinks I have the plague."
"Hate the sin, love the sinner?" says Sandy, but she sounds thoughtful. "How's the boy, anyway?"
"Chad? Good. We played basketball with his buddies this weekend, got some video games in--"
"Jared," says Sandy, cautiously. "Look, I know you're happy, but--do you guys do anything romantic other than have sex?"
"No," says Jared, easily.
"I'm just worried he might be using you."
"Sandy," he says, rolling his eyes. "It's not like I'm not loving the sex. we just don't do a lot of dates anymore. It's not a big deal. I don't mind."
"I'm just looking out for you."
Jared smiles, full of fondness for this girl he hasn't seen in too long. "I know. I'll talk to you later, Sandy."
"Keep me posted," she says cheerfully. "You're better than a soap opera, Padalecki."
*
Jared is changing after his shower one day when Jensen comes in without knocking. He gets a full-frontal view when Jared turns at the noise, and turns so fucking red that Jared swears he can see the blush on his chest through his white shirt.
Jared's never been a huge fan of clothes in the first place, so he figures a great way to get Jensen used to gayness is to just go naked.
He expects Jensen to stop hanging out in the room, but apparently he's made of stronger stuff. Instead, he starts laying out outfits for Jared in the morning, like he's reminding him that people wear clothes.
Jared even starts wearing them. Jensen doesn't have half-bad taste, when he's not dressing himself.
*
"Wow, you weren't kidding," says a girl's voice.
Jared opens his eyes and feels very, very self-conscious, because a pretty red-headed girl is staring at his junk. He flushes almost as bad as Jensen.
"Uh," he says.
Jensen snorts. "Why would I make up my roommate's nudist tendencies?"
"Overactive imagination," says the girl dismissively.
Jared finds and pulls on some boxers, and then gives the girl his best grin. He feels too self-conscious to be annoyed, like he usually is with Jensen's girls.
"Hi," he says instead, extending a hand. "I'm Jared. I'm not actually a nudist, just lazy."
"Danneel," she says, shaking. "I thought Jensen just liked to complain about how much his life sucked."
"He likes that too."
"I should not have brought you home," Jensen says, groaning. "Jesus." He glances over at Jared. "We were gonna grab lunch. Want to put on some real clothes and come with?"
"You should," says Danneel. "We'd love to have you."
Traditionally, Jared says no. They only go to meals together if it's just the two of them, which, in retrospect, is weird. But he still feels guilty and disarmed and embarrassed, so he says yes.
Later, he will blame himself for this. As if by approving of her, even tacitly, he made Jensen like her more. Because she sticks around, and Jared realizes, slowly, that Danneel isn't one of Jensen's girls.
She's Jensen's girlfriend.
*
They're in the middle of a heated game of Madden--which Jared is winning--when Jensen says, "Okay, fuck. I can't take it anymore. Chad's cheating on you."
Jared's fingers slip, and his guy fumbles the ball. "Cheap shot, asshole," he mutters.
The game pauses, and Jensen looks genuinely unhappy and concerned. "That's not why--" he starts abortively. "Look," he says, pushing his hand through his hair. There's enough gel in it it's kind of a struggle for him. "I know I've never exactly been Chad's biggest fan, so I thought--I wasn't sure you'd believe me. I always thought he was a jerk. But--you gotta know. I saw him making out with some other guy at a party last week. And--you don't deserve that, Jared."
Jared swallows. It's, well, it's weird, to hear Jensen so concerned for him. He figured Jensen would be jumping for joy if he and Chad broke up.
"Um," says Jared. "Thanks, I guess. For telling me?" he tries. "I should go, um--talk to him?"
Jared doesn't actually know the protocol for when your homophobic roommate tells you your boyfriend has been cheating on you, because this has never come up in his life. Seriously, should he even believe Jensen?
He looks at Jensen's face, sad and tight and weirdly resigned, and scratches that question. He definitely believes Jensen.
So he calls up Chad to see if he's home, and ten minutes later, he's wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans and knocking on Chad's door.
"Hey, dude. What's up?" asks Chad. He doesn't look guilty or anything. He looks Chaddish.
Jared sighs. "Um, listen, Jensen, he, uh. He said you were making out with some guy at a party last week."
Chad just looks confused now. "Yeah, and?"
Jared gapes for a second.
"Oh--shit!" says Chad. "Oh, Jesus. Did you--shit, man. I thought we were just casual. I didn't think it was a thing."
Jared keeps gaping. They hadn't ever had the dating talk. He knows that. It's probably his own fault for assuming.
"Fucking Christ. I'm sorry," says Chad. "I didn't mean--dude, I'm a freshman in college. I don't want to be, like, settled. Shit. I thought we were--you know."
"No," says Jared, vaguely. "It's fine. I'll just--yeah. Have a good Thanksgiving," he says, and then takes off.
Chad calls three times on his way home, and Jared ignores it every time.
When he gets back to his own dorm, Danneel is there, kicking Jensen's ass at Halo. Jared pretty much likes Danneel, which is a total bitch. Jensen hated his boyfriend, but he thinks Jensen's girlfriend is kind of awesome.
Of course, Chad wasn't ever actually Jared's boyfriend.
Danneel looks over, concern in her eyes, as Jared comes in. "Everything okay?"
"Apparently we weren't actually dating," says Jared flatly. "Whatever. Can you guys just keep it down with the Madden and the sex? I'm going to bed until break starts."
"Jared--" Jensen starts, but Jared just waves his hand and faceplants into his bed.
*
"We're going to breakfast," says a perky voice when Jared gets back from the shower Sunday morning.
Jensen's still asleep, but Danneel is fully dressed and looking totally awake. She wasn't there when he woke up, so he has no idea when she got there. Some of his confusion must show on his face, because she just grins wider.
"I had Jensen call me when your first alarm went off," she says. "I'm taking you to breakfast."
"I don't need a girlfriend to talk me through my breakup," he mutters.
"Trust me, I know."
She ends up dragging him anyway, and, halfway through her coffee, casual as anything, she says, "So, Jensen and I aren't fucking."
Jared nearly spits his pancakes out. "What?"
"Jensen," she says. "We're not doing anything. I like girls. I have a girlfriend, actually."
Jared stares. "But Jensen, uh. He. What?"
"What?" she asks, looking amused.
"He's--" Jared flaps his hands. "He doesn't like that I'm gay."
Danneel stares. "Oh honey," she finally says, and Jared leaves more confused than he started.
*
When Jared gets home for Thanksgiving, he sleeps for a day straight with no loud music or multiple alarms, eats his weight in turkey, and then goes to see Sandy.
"Here's an idea," she says, after he's explained what happened with Chad. He's got his head in her lap, and she's patting his hair. He's so happy to see her he can't even describe it.
"Hm?" he asks.
"He likes you."
Jared opens his eye and stares at her. "Why would he like me?"
"You're cute, you're funny, you're--"
"No, I mean--what?"
"Look, Jared. He was totally fine and nice until you got a boyfriend, right?"
"Right," says Jared, warily.
"His best friend is a lesbian."
"Yeah."
"You parade around in front of him naked, he picks clothes for you--you guys are kind of flirting. In a totally fucked-up, kind of elementary school way."
"He doesn't like me, Sandy," says Jared. "He hates me."
"If he hated you, he wouldn't play video games with you all the time and hang out and actually be worried about you when the guy he hated cheated on you."
"We never said we were dating," Jared admits. "I mean, I assumed--"
"He was a jerk," says Sandy decisively. She's an awesome best friend. "But--think about it. I think Jensen really might have a thing for you."
Jared snorts. "Jensen hates my guts."
But he has to admit--her idea has some appeal.
*
When Jared gets back to campus, he conducts an informal poll of his friends and acquaintances to attempt to determine if Jensen is bi.
Tom, who lives upstairs, says he doesn't care, but that the redhead is hot. Alison, Tom's girlfriend, says Jensen always seemed nice to her, which isn't an answer and makes Jared doubt Alison's ability to read people. Adam from two doors down says he saw Jensen making out with a dude once, but then he decides it might not have been Jensen. Peyton from his statistics class doesn't actually know Jensen outside of the few times she's visited their room, and tells Jared that he's crazy. Sophia, who lives next door, and who has been kept up to date on the Jensen/Jared prank war because she smelled the rotten orange that Jared wrapped up and hid in Jensen's boot, says they should quit the foreplay and just fuck already.
He thinks about asking Chad, because Chad is actually the friend of his who has spent most time with Jensen, but then there's the awkward part where Chad is sort of his ex, and still really weird around him, and probably not inclined to help Jared figure out if his roommate is into him.
Their third class after Thanksgiving, Chad apologizes, again, and Jared finds he's not actually holding a grudge. Sure, he likes Chad, and the sex was pretty good, but he wasn't seriously invested in the two of them as a couple. And it was, admittedly, shitty of Chad to not inform Jared that he was making out with other people, but since Jared isn't actually torn up about it, there's no real reason to hold it against him. So they make up, and Jared manages, a few days later, to check if Chad thinks Jensen is bi.
"Dude, your roommate?" asks Chad. "Of course he's bi."
"How do you know?" Jared is struck by a sudden, horrible thought. "You guys didn't make out, did you? Like, he knew you were hooking up with other people because you guys did it?"
"No way," says Chad. "Dude hates me cuz he's so into you. And he hooked up with this kid Josh from my building. Trust me, your roommate likes dick."
"You really saw him hook up with another guy?" asks Jared. He doesn't take Chad or Sandy's theories about Jensen liking him as evidence, so this is an important point.
"Yeah. Seriously, dude."
So Jared squares his shoulders, goes home and decides to confront his roommate.
Of course, when he gets there, the word out is written under Jensen's name on their white board in his careful, even script.
Jared fucking wishes.
*
Jared's alarm goes off at seven, as usual for a Saturday, and he sets it on snooze on default, not even remembering that he has no reason to be obnoxious to Jensen right now.
When he gets back from his run an hour later, the alarm is still going off, and Jensen is flailing around trying to find Jared's phone, with no luck.
"Lost my glasses," says Jensen, with a glare. His hair's sticking up in all directions, and he's just wearing a pair of ugly boxers and a worn-out t-shirt.
He looks really adorable, and it catches Jared off-guard.
Jared finds his phone easily and switches it off. "Sorry, I hit the wrong button," he says.
"Your snooze is the worst, man," says Jensen. "Way too long."
Jared set it especially to go off every fifteen minutes, just enough time for Jensen to get back to sleep. He should probably change this.
He finds Jensen's glasses under his own bed, half-covered by the one of his shirts.
"Here," he says.
Jensen blinks and focuses. "Thanks," he says. "Ugh, fuck. No way I'm getting back to bed. If you shower, I'll go to breakfast with you."
It is the absolute worst time to bring this up, because he's smelly and Jensen is barely awake, but he can't help it. "Are you bi?" he asks.
Jensen blinks several times, like he thinks he might still be asleep, and then he says, "Huh?"
"You're bi, right?"
"Yeah?" he says. "And?"
"And you didn't tell me!"
"I thought you knew," says Jensen. He sounds genuinely baffled by this conversation.
"You couldn't have just said that when I told you I was gay? We could have bonded!"
"I'm not really a bonding bi," says Jensen mildly. "I'm not in the GSA or anything. I just think guys are hot." He scrubs his hand through his hair. "I thought you knew. I didn't mean to--whatever," he says. "But, yeah, I like guys sometimes. Now go shower, you smell like a barn."
"I do not," says Jared, but he goes anyway, doing his very best to not think about the entire Jensen thing.
*
Jared's life does not go through any kind of drastic change because he discovers Jensen likes guys. He doesn't put any extra effort into being a dick to Jensen, because Jensen is not actually a homophobic jerk. Jensen does still hate Chad, and seems pissed that Jared and Chad have reconciled, but Jared can't really hold that against him.
The only real change is that now Jared can't get what Sandy and Chad said about Jensen liking him out of his head, and he can't help thinking that, despite their entire bizarre first semester, he kind of likes Jensen too.
So that's weird.
*
"So you guys stopped fighting?" asks Sandy.
Jared lies back on his bed, closing his eyes. "I think so. He hasn't compulsively cleaned my stuff or thrown anything away, and I stopped setting my alarm and he stopped playing his music top volume at three a.m."
"And the other stuff?"
Jared plays dumb. "What other stuff?"
"Jared."
He sighs. "I don't think he's pining away for me or anything. I mean, if he was, he could've just said. He knows I'm gay, and it's not like I started dating Chad the first day of classes or anything. He had tons of time."
Sandy snorts. "Because everyone always immediately confesses their crushes. No one ever worries maybe it's just one-sided."
"Why would it be?"
"You guys don't exactly get along."
"Exactly! Why would he like me?"
"Well, you're not exactly hard on the eyes, Jared. And it's all superficial differences."
"Why do we always talk about this?"
He can practically hear Sandy rolling her eyes. "Maybe because you always bring Jensen up. Seriously, Jared, get your head out of your ass and make a move on him already. This is just like Ian Porter."
Ian Porter was Jared's first crush, before he'd realized he was gay. He talked about him pretty much non-stop, driving Sandy and Milo totally crazy, and it was actually almost an entire year before he figured out that he wanted in the guy's pants and didn't just think he was funny and smart and stuff, and Milo had nearly throttled him in the mean time.
"It is not," says Jared, more because he doesn't want it to be than because it isn't.
"When are you coming home for Christmas?" she asks.
"Two weeks," he says. "Another week of class and then finals."
"It'll be good to see you," she says. "I miss you. Thanksgiving just made it worse."
"Should've come to college with me," he says loftily.
"Or you could've come with me. Jerk."
Jared laughs. The door opens and Jensen comes in, and Jared waves vaguely. "Roommate's home, better go grab dinner. Love you."
"Love you too, Jared. See if you can get something romantic and candlelit."
Jared laughs and hangs up. Jensen raises his eyebrows. "Tell me that wasn't Chad."
"Sandy. Friend from home. What's wrong with me and Chad being friends again?"
Jensen shrugs. "Nothing, man. It's your life." Jared opens his mouth to respond, but Jensen cuts him off. "Dinner?"
Jared sighs. "Yeah. Dinner's great."
*
Jared decides that, given how douchetastic and stupid everyone agreed he'd gotten over Ian Porter, it's important that he sit down, shut up, and actually think about his feelings.
Sandy's right, it's not like he and Jensen have earth-shattering differences that mean they could never be happy together. It's roommate incompatibility 101, pretty much--one's neat, one's not! Jared is pretty sure that was the plot of The Odd Couple, and that show was on for years. And, yeah, there's more to it than that, but when they aren't trying to piss each other off, life is actually not bad.
And there's the superficial stuff that he'd like to think he's above but isn't, the way Jensen is hot (in a kind of weirdly twinky way), and the way Jared still occasionally has wet dreams about how Jensen sounds when he has sex, but Sandy doesn't know any of that and is still convinced Jared's in love with Jensen.
If Jensen had just been a guy, someone he met in class, he wouldn't have any problem asking him out, but he's not. He's Jared's roommate, and if doesn't work out, he still has to live with him.
But Jared wants.
"I think," he tells Sophia, a few days after he admits to himself that, yes, he'd like to date Jensen, "I should wait."
Sophia stares at him. "Yeah, I can tell that not going out with him has clearly worked really well for you."
Jared glares. "I just think--I've been thinking about this too much."
"That's clear," Sophia mutters.
"And," Jared soldiers on, glaring at her, "I figure I should wait until after Christmas break. You know, come back fresh, really consider things."
Sophia looks surprised. "Wow. That's surprisingly mature, Jared."
"I have my moments," says Jared smugly.
"This is the first one I've seen."
"Shut up."
*
Of course, Jared's never been very good with plans.
It's Wednesday, two days before Jared's last exam, and Jensen's already done, because he's a lucky son of a bitch.
"Hey," says Jensen, sounding a little too casual, "stop studying and come to this thing with me."
Jensen's much more of a party guy than Jared. Jared doesn't thrive in crowds--Jensen seems to enjoy the anonymity, or maybe just the booze. Jared prefers smaller venues, something more intimate with people he knows.
"What thing?" he asks warily.
"My friend Chris's band is playing. It's in the common room downstairs. You don't even have to go outside," says Jensen, with a smirk.
"Some of us still have finals," he hedges.
"Dude, Jared. You've been studying all day. If you don't take a break, your brain is gonna overload."
Jensen's got this soft smile on his face, like he thinks Jared's dumb, but he's okay with it, and it's the fondness that makes him give in.
"Fine," he says. "Now?"
"You gotta change first," says Jensen, rolling his eyes. "No way I'm gonna be seen in public with you looking like that."
Jared rolls his eyes, but acknowledges that he's really not dressed for a party.
"Little privacy?" he asks, finding his clothes, and Jensen just raises his eyebrow.
"This from the guy who used to wander around the dorm naked?"
"Shut up," Jared mutters, but pulls off his shirt with Jensen still there. "Better?" he asks, gesturing to his new shirt.
"Yeah, but your jeans suck too."
"Jesus, you're picky," says Jared, sticking out his tongue, and now that he actually thinks about it, it's pretty easy to see that they've been flirting for a while.
"You're a bum," says Jensen.
Jared kicks off his jeans and grins.
*
The common room is dark and hot and smelly, which is what Jared usually expects from parties. Jensen knocks their shoulders together and makes motions to show that he's going to go check in with Chris, and Jared waves his hand to convey his blessing.
"I'll be back later!" Jensen calls over the din of the opening band. Jared just nods and works his way through the crowd. He spots Danneel, but she's dirty-dancing with a cute blonde, so he settles on giving her a wave instead of talking to her. She gives him a you're-an-idiot smile and a wave back, and he wonders if Jensen ever gets that look. He totally deserves it.
He's looking around for Sophia or Tom when he spots Chad, who grins and waves him over. He looks around for Jensen, but he's still engrossed with Chris and Steve, so he shrugs and makes his way over to Chad.
"Hey!" Chad yells. "Dude, didn't think you'd be here!"
"Too much studying!" Jared calls back. The music's already throbbing in his skull.
Chad laughs. "Where's your roommate?"
"Hanging out with the band!"
Chad nods. "Wanna dance?"
In the back of his mind, Jared knows it's a bad idea. But he likes dancing, and he likes Chad, and it's not like they're having sex or getting married. They're dancing at a party, and you're supposed to dance at a party.
And, to be fair, Jensen made him do a few shots before they came down, so his decision-making is not totally valid.
"Sure!" he says.
It starts out easy--they're just moving to the music, nothing out of the ordinary. But somehow, without really knowing what's happening, he gets closer to Chad, and they start dancing, like Danneel was dancing with the blonde girl, and Jared doesn't mind. After all, he likes Chad, he likes sex, so what's wrong with maybe hooking up with him? It's not like it would be the first time.
He pulls Chad closer, and Chad looks surprised, eyes wide, and not totally happy about it.
"Jared--" Chad starts, but then there's a rough hand on his shoulder, and Jared finds himself being pulled away.
"Need to talk to you," says Jensen. He looks pissed, and Jared is suddenly pissed too, because he hasn't made any promises to Jensen, and he wasn't doing anything wrong.
But he lets Jensen drag him outside, into the hallway, and glare at him.
"What?" says Jared.
"How stupid are you?"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It's supposed to mean--he's a dick, Jared! He was already cheating on you--" Jared opens his mouth to object and Jensen just keeps glaring. "No, look, I don't care if he didn't think you were dating, you did, and you had every right too, and he was a bastard for not keeping you on the same page."
"So now I know we're not dating! What's wrong with having a little fun?"
Jensen snorts. "God, why do I even try?"
"I don't know, Jensen! Why do you? What do you care who I'm fucking?"
Jensen glares up at him, looking so pissed Jared's afraid he's going to throw a punch, but he doesn't. Instead, he grabs Jared's shoulders and pulls him down into a kiss.
Jared's hazy from alcohol, but his mind can't stop working. He'd been sure he liked Jensen, but he had never gotten all the way convinced Jensen liked him back.
But Jensen is kissing him like he really, really means it, tongue demanding and hands roving, and Jared is kissing back even as the still-rational parts of his mind tell him this is not at all what he'd been planning.
And then Jensen is pressing closer, Jensen's dick is rubbing up against his, and Jared's rational brain shuts down. He finds himself pressing closer, rubbing against Jensen, all of his brainpower going in to memorizing the taste and feel of him.
And then Jensen is saying, "Come on," and they're going upstairs, stopping every few feet to kiss again, and tumbling into Jensen's bed, and he barely has any time to think about how terrible an idea this is.
*
By the time Jared wakes up the next morning, all Jensen's stuff is gone, and he's probably bound for the airport and home. For the next month. Jared has about seventeen hickeys, memories of an absolutely amazing blowjob, and a test in under twenty-four hours.
"Jesus Christ," he mutters, and collapses back down onto Jensen's bed.
*
Of course, Jared has Jensen's cellphone number, but Jensen is the one who left without waking him up, or leaving a note, or in any way acknowledging that anything had happened, and Jared isn't really sure if it's his place to make the first move here, or even what the first move would be. Jensen is pretty much one unending headache, and he doesn't know how to fix it. Does he text and say he had fun? Does he call to make sure Jensen's flight got in?
In the end, he studies, finishes his last final, flies home, lets his mama take care of him and Sandy smack him for being an idiot, and doesn't text Jensen until Christmas, when he sends a simple merry xmas. Jensen responds with tnx man, u 2, and Jared risks a c u in a cuple wks, which doesn't get a response.
Sandy smacks him again after that, but he really has no idea how that's his fault.
*
Jared gets back to campus pretty early--he got hired to work in the biology lab for second semester, and he has to train before classes start. When he gets in, the room is exactly as he left it, except it smells worse, and he finds an old orange growing mold somewhere in the depths of his desk. Jensen presumably hasn't been home, since none of his stuff is around and he probably would have gotten rid of Jared's rotting garbage.
He's kind of glad to be there first, so he can establish himself. Get comfortable again before he has to actually face Jensen, and figure out if they've got anything here other than awkwardness and chemistry.
He shoots Jensen an e-mail, just a quick hey, when are you getting back to campus? and still doesn't get a response.
He doesn't worry too much because Jensen lives with him, and it's not like Jensen can ignore him forever. He has to sleep sometimes, and Jared can always skip all his classes and just lurk under his bed, waiting to strike. Because part of his plan actually did work; he spent his entire break obsessing about Jensen, and deciding that, yes, this is definitely worth a try.
*
Of course, now that Jared's made up his mind, Jensen isn't on the same page.
He hasn't been to the dorm once since Jared got back. Classes have started, and no Jensen. He definitely hasn't just been coming while Jared is at class, either--there's been no sign of anyone else in the dorm at all. There are no e-mails, no notes, and the space under Jensen's name on the whiteboard remains blank and unhelpful.
"I didn't do anything wrong, right? I guess I didn't text him and tell him I wanted to date him, but I think I'm supposed to do that in person, right? God, I don't even know. I wish I knew what his classes were. I could stalk him. But that might be weird. Uh." He sighs. "Call me back, I guess."
He could probably leave a message like that for Jensen, but he'd just be embarrassed. Sandy's just going to call him an idiot; she's not going to break his heart.
By the weekend, Jared is desperate, the room is a wreck, and he's lonely. His half of the whiteboard is covered in emo poetry, and shit about how alone he is.
And then, Jared thinks--fuck this.
He grabs a garbage bag and starts cleaning. He makes Tom loan him his car so he can go to Walmart and buy shit like a laundry bag, and file folders, and Febreeze, and more garbage bags, because one is not enough. He scrubs and organizes, washes both their sheets, and puts all of Jensen's stuff that's out of place (almost nothing) in a neat pile on his desk, without throwing any of it away.
On impulse, he shoves the beds together in the corner and makes them together as best they can. One bunk is barely big enough for him alone, and he's hoping that they're going to have a lot more nights together. It seems like a good gesture.
Finally, he takes down the white board, scrubs it clean, writes SORRY :( under his name and ???? under Jensen's, and calls it a day.
*
Three days later, a girl's hand he recognizes as Danneel's has written dumbass under his name, and what looks like Chris's handwriting has added hiding at Danneel's under Jensen's.
It's not exactly the most encouraging message in the world, but Jared sure as hell isn't going to just give up without a fight.
When he gets to Danneel's, the blonde girl from the party opens the door, and looks him up and down with the patronizing smile he's getting way too used to seeing now.
"You must be Jared," she says.
"Yeah. You're, uh--Danneel's roommate?" He wonders if everyone is just hooking up with their roommates. It does seem kind of logical. Not a lot of worrying about sexiling.
Not that he and Jensen ever worried about that, but he's figuring out that he and Jensen are fucked up.
The girl laughs. "Girlfriend. Who's not getting any right now, and it's your fault, because your roommate's sleeping on the couch and pussy-blocking me."
Jared thinks, wildly, that she means Jensen is sleeping on the couch right this second, and he tries to see into the room.
"He's at class now," she says, shaking her head. "He'll probably be back in like fifteen minutes."
"Oh," says Jared.
"You can come in if you want," she says. "I'm Kristen, by the way."
"Jared," he says. "But I guess you've heard."
"Danneel says you're a dumbass."
"Does anyone ever tell Jensen he's a dumbass, or is it just me? Because I think he's being a dumbass too."
"Trust me, everyone thinks you're both dumbasses. Danneel tweets about how Jensen is an idiot at least once a day."
"Good," says Jared, actually feeling better about this thing for the first time in a few months, because at least everyone realizes he isn't the only problem with this non-relationship.
"You want to come in?" asks Kristen. "I've got to go in a couple minutes, but this way you can hang out and ambush Jensen, and I can go back to getting laid regularly." She smiles brightly. "Everybody wins."
Jared laughs. "Stalking is in, right?"
"I don't think you have a choice," says Kristen, sounding kind of sympathetic. "He was planning to just live here, I think."
Jared rubs his forehead. "Jesus, if he doesn't want to date me, I'm not going to make him."
Kristen just sighs. "You guys suck."
"Yeah," Jared agrees. "Sorry about that."
Kristen gives him an encouraging pat on the shoulder. "I gotta go. Good luck. Remember--it's not just your sex life on the line here. Think of me."
Jared laughs, and sits down, and it's not until she's been gone for a few minutes that the panic really sets in.
Everyone wants him to talk to Jensen, and he thinks he'll go crazy if he doesn't, but that doesn't change the fact that Jensen ran from him, that he's terrified that Jensen regrets everything.
But Jensen kissed him first. Jensen brought them upstairs, and maybe he was just horny and angry and--Jared shakes his head. There is absolutely no reason to talk himself out of this. Worst case scenario, he'll move out. Because he gets the feeling that if Jensen moves in with Danneel, her girlfriend will come and murder Jared for keeping her from having sex.
Jared is a little terrified of tiny blonde girls. He might have a size advantage, but they're vicious.
He leans back on the couch and sighs. It smells like Jensen, which he feels lame for knowing, but he does live with Jensen. It would probably be weirder if he didn't know what Jensen smelled like.
He grabs a book--Ulysses, probably Jensen's, stupid English majors--and starts trying to read, but he can't concentrate, and it's Ulysses, so it'd be a challenge even with 100% of his brain going into it. Still, it gives him something to do with his hands, and that's nice.
He hears the door opening and promptly drops the book on his toe in his haste to stand up.
"Hey, I--" Jensen stops and stares. Jared tries a hesitant smile, trying to combine hopeful and confused and apologetic into one expression. He thinks he probably just comes off awkward. Jensen swallows visibly. "You're not Kristen."
"She left," says Jared. "Had somewhere to go."
"Of course she did," says Jensen.
"Look--" starts Jared.
"Sorry," says Jensen, dropping his bag on the floor.
Jared stares. "You're apologizing to me?"
"I should've--not done what I did," says Jensen, not looking at him.
"Yeah," Jared agrees. "You should've woken me up before you left."
Jensen laughs. "I'm not great at getting let down easy, man."
It takes Jared a minute to figure out what Jensen thought, and he starts laughing suddenly, because he feels dumb and happy and nervous all at the same time. Because easy is everything this probably should have been, and nothing of what it was.
"I like you," says Jared. "I cleaned the entire dorm. I scrubbed my desk. I got rid of all the food I hid in your desk. And--I might have shoved our beds together, because that killed my back last time, and I want there to be a lot of next times."
Jensen stares at him.
"I'm not--I just didn't think you liked me," says Jared. "At all. I mean, why would you? I'm a gross slob and I was a jerk to you, so--" he laughs. "Everyone told me you liked me, and I just figured you had better taste than that, I guess."
Jensen clears his throat. "Dating your roommate is a really bad idea," he says.
"Yeah," agrees Jared.
"I figured I'd just skip it."
"Oh," says Jared. He rubs the back of his neck. "I can--I'm not going to force you, or--god, I'm--"
He hears Jensen laugh. "Jesus Christ, we suck at this." When he looks up, Jensen is grinning at him. "Jared. I was trying really hard to hate you."
Jared grins back. "But you don't."
"No," Jensen agrees.
"I tried pretty hard to. To get you to hate me."
"Trust me, I noticed," says Jensen.
"So, I'm thinking--dating can't possibly be worse than last semester, right?" says Jared. "There is no way we suck more at being in a relationship than we sucked at being roommates."
"And if we break up, I already have a couch to crash on," Jensen points out.
"God, we can't. Danneel's girlfriend would kill me in my sleep."
Jensen laughs. He can't stop smiling either. It's like he doesn't know how to. "Yeah, she's pretty scary."
Jared leans over, presses his lips to Jensen's quickly, just lips on lips because he wants to know he can.
"You coming back?"
"Yeah," says Jensen. "Let me get my stuff."
*
Jared's alarm goes off at 6:45.
"Jesus Christ," says Jensen, from somewhere near his shoulder. "I fucking hate you."
Jared hugs him, which just smushes Jensen's face into his armpit. "You love me."
Jensen flails his arms around until he successfully hits Jared in the chest. "Ugh, Jesus." Jared lets him go and settles back into bed.
"Did you put that on snooze?" asks Jensen. "I will murder you if you put that in snooze. In cold blood. I will do the time."
"I turned it off," says Jared. He grins and pulls Jensen closer, but not into any part of his body that smells. Well, not in particular, anyway. "I thought I'd sleep in."