(no subject)
synergic dared me, and I can't say no to her dares.
I should work on that.
Title: I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Author: chash
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles, Jensen/others
Rating: R
Warnings: I seem to be in this mood lately where I want to write drunken asshole Jensen.
Word Count: 1700.
Summary: Jared is studying to be a doctor. His best friend Jensen is studying to die of liver failure while sending terrible text messages.
Notes: All texts from Texts From Last Night.
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
*
There are a lot of things Jared Padalecki doesn't need to know about his best friend.
Unfortunately, said best friend doesn't actually seem to realize this. Or, he does, he just changes into a completely different person when he's drunk. Jensen Ackles is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, but alcoholic.
Jared is in med school, because Jared has big plans to be a good human being who contributes to society. Jensen--well, Jensen doesn't.
Jensen has been his best friend for longer than he can remember--they grew up together and somehow are still together, which his other (college) friends say is weird.
"Just seems, y'know," says Chad, "kind of codependent."
"Your mom is kind of codependent," Jared mutters.
"If she was codependent she wouldn't've cheated on his dad with me last night," Jensen adds.
They went to different colleges, but when they graduated Jared said, "I'm going to Chicago for grad school," and Jensen said, "Okay, I'll find us an apartment," and that was that.
A girl winks at Jensen from the other end of the bar and Jensen's grin back is all teeth.
"Excuse me, gentlemen," he says, downing his beer in one practiced motion. "I've got better shit to do tonight."
"We have got to stop hanging out with that guy," says Chad despairingly.
"Why?" asks Jared.
Chad snorts. "When's the last time you got laid with him around? Chicks take one look at his pretty fucking mug and they could care less about bums like us."
"Speak for yourself, I'm beautiful," Jared says. But it's kind of true.
His phone buzzes in his pocket and Chad groans.
"Do you have any idea how lame it is to set a curfew for yourself, man?"
"Professor Kripke is a bastard," says Jared. "If I'm hungover for his class, I'm gonna be the next cadaver we dissect, no joke."
Chad waves his hand. "Whatever, I'll do better scoring without your lame asses bringing me down."
"Yeah, yeah." Jared grabs his coat. "Just remember, no means no. Seriously."
"I know! Shut the fuck up, toolbag."
"Love you too, man."
"Fagotron."
Jared ruffles Chad's hair as he passes. Jensen's in the corner, making out with the girl who winked at him. Jared shakes his head. His friends are fucking jerks.
*
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
*
Jensen wanted to be a professional baseball player when he was a kid, but he blew his knee out and Jared sometimes worries that his ruined dreams are the reason he's kind of a fucked up human being. He wanted to be a physical therapist for a while too, but now he's just an office aide who gets drunk seven nights a week.
So it's not surprising that he's passed out on the couch when Jared gets back from late lab, and Jared kicks him in the calf as he passes.
"Motherfucker," Jensen grumbles. "Please have coffee, you jackass."
"I backwashed in it," says Jared, handing over his mug.
"Sexy," Jensen retorts, chugging.
"Not as sexy as fucking a girl while her little brother watches."
"Hey, I helped him. Now a bright, driven young man knows in detail where the clitoris is."
"You're a real humanitarian, dude."
"How was class?" asks Jensen. He's yanking his contacts out with a force that Jared finds disgusting.
"Kripke didn't disembowel me."
"You're a real winner, Jare."
"You're one to talk."
"Hey," says Jensen remorselessly, "I'm enjoying my youth. Unlike you, nerd."
"You know you jerked off to Keebler Elves last week, right?"
"With! They were just there while I was jerking off. So shut up."
Jared shakes his head. "I've got studying to do."
"This is my point."
Jared gives him the finger.
Three hours later, his phone beeps cheerily.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Jared snorts into the empty room. what dignity?
*
before murray murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with murray's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) murray's little sis digs anal.
*
"Where the fuck is Ackles," says Chad. It's the calm in his voice that scares the shit out of Jared. Chad is many things, but never calm. He's pissed on a level that Jared has never seen before.
"In hiding?" says Jared. He hasn't seen his roommate all day, which is a little worrying. He kind of wants to see Chad and Jensen fight each other, but he's not sure who he's rooting for. They both pretty much have it coming.
"How the fuck did he do that," says Chad. "What kind of fucker does that?"
"I don't think he knew she was your sister until after," says Jared, even though he has absolutely no reason to think this. He mostly just doesn't want Jensen to die. He has no idea what he'd do with his life if Jensen was dead. Cry, probably. Like, a lot.
"She's, like--okay, she's legal, but there are lines!"
"You fucked a seventeen-year-old."
"God, I know you fuckers are, like, MFEO or whatever, but fuck! Don't take his fucking side!"
"I'm not! I just--I don't know," says Jared. "I don't want any of my friends to die."
"What if he deserves it?"
Jared is pretty sure they both deserve to die.
"I'm sorry," says a quiet voice, and Jared and Chad both turn to see Jensen. He looks--well, actually contrite. Jared has never seen him looking so serious.
Chad doesn't seem to notice. In fact, Chad just launches himself at Jensen with a yell.
Well, shit.
*
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
*
On Friday night, Jensen is off his game. Jared assumes it's because two black eyes make him way less attractive to the opposite sex.
Chad seems to consider his little sister's honor restored, and Jared is fairly sure that no one told him she likes anal, which is good.
"Do you like anal?" asks Jared.
Jensen raises his eyebrows. It looks like he has four of them. He has four eyes, too, because he's wearing his glasses.
"What?" asks Jensen.
"I mean," Jared slurs slightly, leaning against Jensen's shoulder, "when a girl's into anal, are you, like, fuck yeah, or, like, man I don't want my dick where she shits that's fucked up."
Jensen snorts into Jared's hair. Now his hair is, like, snotty. That's gross. "You're such a lightweight, Padalecki."
"You better catch up, then," he grins. Chad's off scoring with someone, Chris and Steve have a show, Sandy's on a real date--it's nice, really. Just Jared and Jensen, like it used to be when they were kids. "Hey!" he calls to the bartender. "More shots for my friend! It's his birthday."
"It's always his birthday," says the bartender, Jeff, with a laugh. "Comin' right up."
*
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
*
Sometimes, when Jensen gets drunk, he gets a little gay.
When Jared gets drunk, though, he throws up til he cries, so they've never actually done anything. Despite Jensen's best efforts.
"You're so fucking bi-curious," says Jared, to Jensen's ribs.
"Shut up," says Jensen. His voice sounds muffled, and Jared manages to turn his head enough to see he's got a pillow over his face.
"You trying to suffocate yourself?"
"No. Why are you on my stomach?"
"I dunno. Why'd you text me when I was with you all night?"
"Probably for emphasis."
Jared pokes him delicately in the groin. "Still bi?"
"Shut the fuck up and go back to sleep."
*
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
*
Jensen staggers back home at four. For once, Jared is still awake--his problem set is fucking terrible, and he wants to die.
"Jared?" Jensen slurs, leaning against the doorframe.
"Hey," says Jared. "You okay?"
"Good," says Jensen. He stares at Jared for a long time, so long Jared gets antsy. He's about to move when Jensen says, "You sober?"
"Yeah."
"Nauseous?"
"No?"
"Sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. Je--"
"Thank god," says Jensen, and then he crosses the room, sits down in Jared's lap, and starts kissing him.
Jared knows that he is absolutely not supposed to kiss Jensen back. Jensen is drunk and not really technically consenting, but he's the fucking best kisser in the entire world, and his tongue is in Jared's mouth, hot and slick, before Jared can even think about stopping. And then Jensen's hands are tangled in his hair, and Jared's fingers are pushing Jensen's shirt up, skimming over the smooth skin of his stomach.
"Fuck, Jared," says Jensen, and his mouth dips down to suck on Jared's neck.
"Jensen, we shouldn't--you--fuck, man, you're wasted."
"Want you," says Jensen, into his neck. "Want you so fucking much, Jare."
And then Jensen is pushing Jared's shirt over his shoulders and grinding their dicks together, and Jared can't actually protest anymore. Doesn't want to.
"God," he mutters, dropping his forehead against Jensen's shoulder. "Fuck."
"Don't worry," says Jensen, into his ear. "Not gonna do you in the ass. Cuz that's where you shit, and that's fucked up."
It's absolutely not a sexy remark, but it's so them that Jared can't help it, arches up and comes in his pants while Jensen is talking about shitting on his dick.
"You're disgusting," says Jensen, and Jared works his hand into Jensen's pants to jerk him off. He's never done anything with a guy before, but Jensen's dick can't be that different from his, right?
Except it is. Jensen's dick is smooth and firm and hot under his fingers, and he's getting hard again just from the feel of it.
"You love me," says Jared easily, and that makes Jensen lose it.
Jared's a lot better at romance than Jensen.
*
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
*
Jared flips his phone open, smiles, and slams his book shut.
He can always study in the morning.
I should work on that.
Title: I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Author: chash
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles, Jensen/others
Rating: R
Warnings: I seem to be in this mood lately where I want to write drunken asshole Jensen.
Word Count: 1700.
Summary: Jared is studying to be a doctor. His best friend Jensen is studying to die of liver failure while sending terrible text messages.
Notes: All texts from Texts From Last Night.
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
*
There are a lot of things Jared Padalecki doesn't need to know about his best friend.
Unfortunately, said best friend doesn't actually seem to realize this. Or, he does, he just changes into a completely different person when he's drunk. Jensen Ackles is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, but alcoholic.
Jared is in med school, because Jared has big plans to be a good human being who contributes to society. Jensen--well, Jensen doesn't.
Jensen has been his best friend for longer than he can remember--they grew up together and somehow are still together, which his other (college) friends say is weird.
"Just seems, y'know," says Chad, "kind of codependent."
"Your mom is kind of codependent," Jared mutters.
"If she was codependent she wouldn't've cheated on his dad with me last night," Jensen adds.
They went to different colleges, but when they graduated Jared said, "I'm going to Chicago for grad school," and Jensen said, "Okay, I'll find us an apartment," and that was that.
A girl winks at Jensen from the other end of the bar and Jensen's grin back is all teeth.
"Excuse me, gentlemen," he says, downing his beer in one practiced motion. "I've got better shit to do tonight."
"We have got to stop hanging out with that guy," says Chad despairingly.
"Why?" asks Jared.
Chad snorts. "When's the last time you got laid with him around? Chicks take one look at his pretty fucking mug and they could care less about bums like us."
"Speak for yourself, I'm beautiful," Jared says. But it's kind of true.
His phone buzzes in his pocket and Chad groans.
"Do you have any idea how lame it is to set a curfew for yourself, man?"
"Professor Kripke is a bastard," says Jared. "If I'm hungover for his class, I'm gonna be the next cadaver we dissect, no joke."
Chad waves his hand. "Whatever, I'll do better scoring without your lame asses bringing me down."
"Yeah, yeah." Jared grabs his coat. "Just remember, no means no. Seriously."
"I know! Shut the fuck up, toolbag."
"Love you too, man."
"Fagotron."
Jared ruffles Chad's hair as he passes. Jensen's in the corner, making out with the girl who winked at him. Jared shakes his head. His friends are fucking jerks.
*
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
*
Jensen wanted to be a professional baseball player when he was a kid, but he blew his knee out and Jared sometimes worries that his ruined dreams are the reason he's kind of a fucked up human being. He wanted to be a physical therapist for a while too, but now he's just an office aide who gets drunk seven nights a week.
So it's not surprising that he's passed out on the couch when Jared gets back from late lab, and Jared kicks him in the calf as he passes.
"Motherfucker," Jensen grumbles. "Please have coffee, you jackass."
"I backwashed in it," says Jared, handing over his mug.
"Sexy," Jensen retorts, chugging.
"Not as sexy as fucking a girl while her little brother watches."
"Hey, I helped him. Now a bright, driven young man knows in detail where the clitoris is."
"You're a real humanitarian, dude."
"How was class?" asks Jensen. He's yanking his contacts out with a force that Jared finds disgusting.
"Kripke didn't disembowel me."
"You're a real winner, Jare."
"You're one to talk."
"Hey," says Jensen remorselessly, "I'm enjoying my youth. Unlike you, nerd."
"You know you jerked off to Keebler Elves last week, right?"
"With! They were just there while I was jerking off. So shut up."
Jared shakes his head. "I've got studying to do."
"This is my point."
Jared gives him the finger.
Three hours later, his phone beeps cheerily.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Jared snorts into the empty room. what dignity?
*
before murray murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with murray's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) murray's little sis digs anal.
*
"Where the fuck is Ackles," says Chad. It's the calm in his voice that scares the shit out of Jared. Chad is many things, but never calm. He's pissed on a level that Jared has never seen before.
"In hiding?" says Jared. He hasn't seen his roommate all day, which is a little worrying. He kind of wants to see Chad and Jensen fight each other, but he's not sure who he's rooting for. They both pretty much have it coming.
"How the fuck did he do that," says Chad. "What kind of fucker does that?"
"I don't think he knew she was your sister until after," says Jared, even though he has absolutely no reason to think this. He mostly just doesn't want Jensen to die. He has no idea what he'd do with his life if Jensen was dead. Cry, probably. Like, a lot.
"She's, like--okay, she's legal, but there are lines!"
"You fucked a seventeen-year-old."
"God, I know you fuckers are, like, MFEO or whatever, but fuck! Don't take his fucking side!"
"I'm not! I just--I don't know," says Jared. "I don't want any of my friends to die."
"What if he deserves it?"
Jared is pretty sure they both deserve to die.
"I'm sorry," says a quiet voice, and Jared and Chad both turn to see Jensen. He looks--well, actually contrite. Jared has never seen him looking so serious.
Chad doesn't seem to notice. In fact, Chad just launches himself at Jensen with a yell.
Well, shit.
*
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
*
On Friday night, Jensen is off his game. Jared assumes it's because two black eyes make him way less attractive to the opposite sex.
Chad seems to consider his little sister's honor restored, and Jared is fairly sure that no one told him she likes anal, which is good.
"Do you like anal?" asks Jared.
Jensen raises his eyebrows. It looks like he has four of them. He has four eyes, too, because he's wearing his glasses.
"What?" asks Jensen.
"I mean," Jared slurs slightly, leaning against Jensen's shoulder, "when a girl's into anal, are you, like, fuck yeah, or, like, man I don't want my dick where she shits that's fucked up."
Jensen snorts into Jared's hair. Now his hair is, like, snotty. That's gross. "You're such a lightweight, Padalecki."
"You better catch up, then," he grins. Chad's off scoring with someone, Chris and Steve have a show, Sandy's on a real date--it's nice, really. Just Jared and Jensen, like it used to be when they were kids. "Hey!" he calls to the bartender. "More shots for my friend! It's his birthday."
"It's always his birthday," says the bartender, Jeff, with a laugh. "Comin' right up."
*
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
*
Sometimes, when Jensen gets drunk, he gets a little gay.
When Jared gets drunk, though, he throws up til he cries, so they've never actually done anything. Despite Jensen's best efforts.
"You're so fucking bi-curious," says Jared, to Jensen's ribs.
"Shut up," says Jensen. His voice sounds muffled, and Jared manages to turn his head enough to see he's got a pillow over his face.
"You trying to suffocate yourself?"
"No. Why are you on my stomach?"
"I dunno. Why'd you text me when I was with you all night?"
"Probably for emphasis."
Jared pokes him delicately in the groin. "Still bi?"
"Shut the fuck up and go back to sleep."
*
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
*
Jensen staggers back home at four. For once, Jared is still awake--his problem set is fucking terrible, and he wants to die.
"Jared?" Jensen slurs, leaning against the doorframe.
"Hey," says Jared. "You okay?"
"Good," says Jensen. He stares at Jared for a long time, so long Jared gets antsy. He's about to move when Jensen says, "You sober?"
"Yeah."
"Nauseous?"
"No?"
"Sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. Je--"
"Thank god," says Jensen, and then he crosses the room, sits down in Jared's lap, and starts kissing him.
Jared knows that he is absolutely not supposed to kiss Jensen back. Jensen is drunk and not really technically consenting, but he's the fucking best kisser in the entire world, and his tongue is in Jared's mouth, hot and slick, before Jared can even think about stopping. And then Jensen's hands are tangled in his hair, and Jared's fingers are pushing Jensen's shirt up, skimming over the smooth skin of his stomach.
"Fuck, Jared," says Jensen, and his mouth dips down to suck on Jared's neck.
"Jensen, we shouldn't--you--fuck, man, you're wasted."
"Want you," says Jensen, into his neck. "Want you so fucking much, Jare."
And then Jensen is pushing Jared's shirt over his shoulders and grinding their dicks together, and Jared can't actually protest anymore. Doesn't want to.
"God," he mutters, dropping his forehead against Jensen's shoulder. "Fuck."
"Don't worry," says Jensen, into his ear. "Not gonna do you in the ass. Cuz that's where you shit, and that's fucked up."
It's absolutely not a sexy remark, but it's so them that Jared can't help it, arches up and comes in his pants while Jensen is talking about shitting on his dick.
"You're disgusting," says Jensen, and Jared works his hand into Jensen's pants to jerk him off. He's never done anything with a guy before, but Jensen's dick can't be that different from his, right?
Except it is. Jensen's dick is smooth and firm and hot under his fingers, and he's getting hard again just from the feel of it.
"You love me," says Jared easily, and that makes Jensen lose it.
Jared's a lot better at romance than Jensen.
*
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
*
Jared flips his phone open, smiles, and slams his book shut.
He can always study in the morning.