(no subject)
Title: Do You Wanna Get Married, Or Run Away
Author: poor_choices
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Rating: PG-13.
Warnings: Bullying.
Word Count: 5200.
Summary: Jensen's never fit in with anyone but Jared, so it's no surprise that he'd follow him anywhere.
Notes: Inspired (very loosely) by Escape to Witch Mountain. Written for brate7 for fandomaid! Sorry it took so long! Title from the Goo Goo Dolls.
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.
Jensen finds Jared, as he so often does, waiting outside Ms. Barnes' office. He wasn't allowed to go to the nurse before reporting for punishment, so the cut on his cheek is still bleeding, and Jensen can see his eye starting to bruise up.
You have to stop doing this, Jensen tells him, fishing a pack of tissues out of his pocket and sitting down next to Jared on the bench.
"They were bothering you," Jared mutters. Jensen could just read his mind, but these days, Jared prefers to speak. Jensen suspects Jared doesn't like the idea of Jensen poking around in his brain anymore, now that he's older. Jensen tries not to let it upset him. Jared's never been great at controlling his thoughts, and it's understandable that he might want to keep some secrets.
They always bother me, Jensen points out. They always bother me, you always fight them, and you always get in trouble and they don't.
Jared's smile is lopsided and completely charming. Jensen doesn't understand how no one else is ever affected. "Well, we're bad kids, you know."
It's more, Jensen knows, that they're freaks. That Jared can get the drop on anyone, because telekinesis is the kind of advantage it's hard for regular kids to compete with.
Don't even joke about that, dumbass. He gets Jared cleaned up to his satisfaction and sighs. I saw Cohen on my way over.
Jared doesn't growl, but it's close. The bench shakes a little, and Jensen puts his hand on Jared's arm to calm him. Jared's powers really don't need to flare up right now.
"What did he say?" Jared asks, after a few deep, calming breaths.
Jensen sighs. The usual. Now that you're out of the picture, he's going to come and beat the crap out of me, I'm a freak, you're a freak. Everyone's a freak, pretty much.
"I'm going to kill him," Jared mutters.
You are not, Jensen says, with a hint of steel. He doesn't believe Jared would, but he thinks it's important to make sure.
"We can't keep doing this, Jensen," Jared says, leaning back and closing his eyes. "We don't belong here."
We don't belong anywhere, Jensen points out.
"We could," Jared says. "We haven't been everywhere yet. There are all kinds of places in the world that aren't this."
It isn't the first time Jared has said something like this. Jared has always been a dreamer.
"Mr. Padalecki," said Ms. Barnes, opening the door. "Come in. Mr. Ackles, I assume you have somewhere else to be."
Don't do anything stupid, says Jensen, a little desperately.
Jared, of course, just smiles tightly.
*
"Where's your boyfriend, Ackles?" Cohen sneers as Jensen passes. He keeps his head down, tries not to look, as if when he can't see Cohen, Cohen can't hurt him.
Jensen doesn't know what it is about him that makes people upset. Cohen's hated him for as long as he's known him, but he's far from the only one. Until Jared showed up when Jensen was twelve, he got beaten up all the time, for being a freak, for not talking, for things he doesn't even understand.
When Jared showed up, Jensen somehow knew. He realized Jared was an ally, and Jared did too. They've been inseparable ever since. Jensen hadn't even talked to him at first, not until Jared said, "Hey, can I tell you a secret?" and showed Jensen how he could move things with his mind. And then it was easy for Jensen to let his words edge into Jared's mind, to tell him the secrets he's been keeping his whole life.
"Guess he isn't around to protect you," Cohen was saying, and Jensen tries to just keep walking and ignore him. Jensen isn't defenseless, but Cohen has more friends than he does, and without Jared's size and confusing new muscles--to say nothing of his telekinesis--Jensen is pretty well fucked in a fight.
"You know, Matt," says Welling, "I bet if we hit him hard enough, he'd make a noise. You think we could get him to scream?"
Jensen braces, trying to figure out where he can go. Cohen, Welling, and Rosenbaum are all here, and none of the other guys are going to raise a finger to help Jensen. He knows that much from experience.
If he gets inside, he'll be a little better off; there are adults inside, and even if they turn a blind eye to bullying they don't personally witness, they'll tell them to break it up when they actually see it.
Jensen looks around for anything that can help, but he's stuck.
He's not proud of it, but he runs.
*
Jared gets back to their room an hour later; Jensen can tell from the way he's walking that he got spanked. Jared says it should be illegal to spank anyone in this day and age, but Jensen doesn't really know much about laws. And he's not sure anyone cares about that in an orphanage.
"I'm sixteen," Jared grumbles, and then he spots Jensen. "Shit. I'm going to fucking murder them."
It's fine, Jensen says, closing his eyes. You got it worse than I did this time.
"It's my job to take care of you," Jared says, soft, and almost to himself.
It's not, really, Jensen says. I should be able to take care of myself.
Jensen feels the dip of the bed and opens his eyes to see Jared. He looks tired, worn out, and more defeated than Jensen has seen him in a long time.
I don't want you to stop or anything, he says, not sure if that's actually the problem.
"I meant what I said earlier," Jared says, as if he didn't hear Jensen. "About us leaving."
Leaving?
"You know, getting out of here. Away from Cohen and his asshole friends. Away from Barnes and--just everything. Everything but us, you know?"
I'll be eighteen in a few months, Jensen offers, uselessly.
"Yeah, you'll get out, and I'll be stuck here alone," Jared says.
I would never leave you alone here, Jensen says. Jared, you have to know that.
There's a long pause, Jared closing his eyes and leaning back against the wall. He looks worn out and older than his years. Jensen aches to do--something. He doesn't even know what. "I can't stay here," Jared says, so soft Jensen has to read his mind, just a little, to make sure he heard right. Jared's emotions are a swirl, all tangled and upset. Jensen sits up, repositioning so he's next to Jared, leaning against his shoulder. Jared wraps his arm around Jensen, leaning back so their heads bump together, comforting and not painful. "I hate this. We don't belong here, you know? We're not like them."
We're not like anybody.
"We're like each other!" Jared says, and he sounds so upset it shocks Jensen. He had no idea it bothered Jared this much. "We can't be the only two people in the world like this, you know?" He sighs. "We found each other, there have to be more of us."
You want more? Jensen asks, before he can stop himself. Telepathy doesn't always give him the best brain/mouth filter, really. Probably because his mouth never actually gets involved.
"I want everyone to stop looking at us like we're freaks," Jared says.
Jensen doesn't really know what Jared thinks they're going to do, but he knows as soon as he asks, Jared will take it as agreement that they're going.
And he'll be right. Jensen doesn't know how to say no to Jared. He doesn't even want to learn.
We're underage, Jensen says. We couldn't get our own place. Where would we even go?
Jared's grin is instantaneous and transforms his whole face. He knows he's won, and Jensen can't be upset about it. Not as long as Jared wants them to go together.
*
Jared has a plan.
You've been thinking about this, Jensen says, impressed. They spent the night packing and getting ready; it's almost dawn now, and Jensen is running on adrenaline and affection. How long have you been planning to run away?
It's still the middle of the night, and they're leaving through the window, both of them sitting on Jared's huge duffel bag, which he's floating down. Jensen didn't know his powers had gotten so strong, but Jared is just full of surprises tonight.
Forever, Jared says. He told Jensen to just scan his mind, since they're staying quiet. Whatever thoughts he doesn't want Jensen seeing, he's keeping to himself. I've always hated it here.
I know, Jensen says, looking away as they hit the ground outside the walls of the orphanage. He shouldn't feel guilty, but he does. He's sure that if he wasn't around, Jared would have left a long time ago.
"Stop worrying," Jared says, knocking his shoulder against Jensen's lightly. He's smiling, and his teeth are bright in the moonlight. Jensen smiles back automatically. "Come on, we need to get to the bus stop before they figure out where we are."
Are you sure there's going to be a bus out before morning? Jensen asks.
"Yes, I'm sure. I memorized the bus schedule. There's one at six to Chicago."
They've been saving whatever money they can find for years, and Jared's kept it hidden well enough that no one else ever discovered it. They still don't have much--a lot for kids, but not a lot for two people running away and starting a new life--but they have enough for two bus tickets, at the very least.
And what are we going to do in Chicago?
Jared slings the duffel over his shoulder and starts walking, knowing Jensen will follow, as he always does. "I don't know. That's across most of the country, though," he says. "Maybe we'll see another place that strikes our fancy first."
Jensen worries his lip. You really think we're going to find anything? Answers about who we are, or whatever?
"They have to be out there, right? It can't just be some random coincidence that we both have these powers and we found each other, can it? There must be something."
Jensen doesn't respond. He's never thought it was coincidence, not once.
He's always thought of it as fate.
*
They get to the bus depot just around 5:30. It's still dark, and the guy selling the tickets is half asleep. Jensen had worried he'd ask questions--it's legal to buy a bus ticket when you aren't eighteen, right? This is the kind of thing Jensen has never actually wondered about.
But Jared clearly has checked all this stuff. Jared knows exactly what he's doing.
They sit on the bench together, Jensen finally giving in to his weariness and leaning against Jared's shoulder, trying not to fall asleep.
Jared just looks amused. "Sorry," he murmurs. "I guess I kept you up."
It's okay, Jensen says, yawning a little. We needed to get out of there. He pauses. Do you think she's going to try to find us?
"I think she has to," Jared says. "I mean, there are laws and stuff. We'd be runaways."
But she doesn't like us anyway, Jensen points out.
Jared laughs. "Yeah, but I don't think we're that lucky. I think it takes them a while to look across state lines. Maybe." He makes a face. "I don't really know much about this either."
I didn't think you could buy a bus ticket if you were under eighteen, Jensen admits, not wanting Jared to think he's alone in ignorance.
Jared ruffles his hair, laughing. Even though Jared's a year younger than Jensen, he's always taken care of Jensen, easy affection that Jensen can't help but bask in. It's not like anyone else has ever given him any.
"Well, I was ready to say we had parental permission. But I don't think that guy would have cared if I told him we were running away to Canada to get married."
Jensen doesn't flush, mostly through sheer effort. I think there are places we could get married without having to forge passports, he says.
"You're right. There's no reason to go to Canada for our hypothetical marriage," Jared agrees. He gives Jensen's hair another ruffle and stands, stretching. "Come on, I see the bus coming. You can sleep on the road."
Have you ever been out of Texas?
"Not that I remember. I don't know. Everything before I got in the system is kind of a blur, you know?"
Jensen does know. He and Jared have talked about it a lot, how they don't really know who they are or where they came from. It's one of those things that makes Jared so sure they can't be alone, can't be the only ones.
It just seems kind of weird, Jensen admits. Leaving Texas to try to figure out where we come from. All we have to go on is Texas.
"And each other," says Jared, wrapping his arm round Jensen's shoulders again. Jensen falls asleep there, tucked under his arm, feeling surprisingly happy.
It's not like his life was particularly good before. And he's taking the best part of it with him.
*
As it turns out, buses suck.
They stop for a break every few hours, either at rest stops or in other no-name towns to pick people up and let them off, but mostly they just drive, and Jared and Jensen sit there. The novelty of looking out the window for Jared wore off while Jensen was still asleep, and now they're just bored, sleeping when they can, but mostly just staring into space.
Apparently there is absolutely nothing interesting between Dallas and Chicago.
Around Kentucky, Jared finally says, "I always wondered."
Jensen, who's been dozing, stirs. Huh?
Jared's hands are in his hair, carding through it gently. "I just--I always wondered if you could talk."
Jensen stiffens, body seizing up. Jared's never asked him that. Jared's never cared. Jared was the one person in the world who never tried to make him speak, who didn't treat him like he was flawed.
"I don't care," Jared says quickly. He pulls Jensen in against his shoulder, not letting him move away. Not that he really could. They're stuck on a bus. And besides, he doesn't know anywhere in the world to go without Jared. "I don't. I was just curious. It seemed crazy, all this stuff I knew about you, that I never knew that."
Jensen shields his first thoughts carefully, makes sure none of the pain he's feeling leaks out. Instead, he schools himself, and gives an answer.
I think I can, he says. It was always--confusing. I couldn't control my powers when I was little. When I talked, everything came out jumbled, like people's thoughts. The other kids made fun of me. It was easier not to talk. But then they wanted to prove I could I guess, so they started beating me up. And I didn't want to give them the satisfaction.
Jared nods, looking down at his hands. "I just wonder, sometimes. What your voice sounds like."
Jensen shrugs, uncomfortable. Like a voice, I guess.
Jared ruffles his hair. "I really don't care."
But Jensen can't shake it.
*
"Hey," says Jared. "Hey, wake up."
Jensen stirs, feeling creaky and disjointed. His mouth is full of cotton, and his heart still feels bruised.
He blinks at Jared, doesn't even bother thinking anything.
"We're in Hope."
Jensen raises his eyebrows.
"Hope, Indiana. We're getting off."
In Hope? Isn't that a little-- he lets Jared in on more of his emotions, a sense of vague affection and amusement, but with embarrassment and a mental eye-roll in there too.
Jared laughs. "Yes, it's corny," he says. "That's the word you're looking for. But it could also be a sign."
You think we're from Hope?
"No," says Jared. "But I think we're going to like it there."
Jensen sighs, stretching. Why are we even in Indiana? I don't think that's between Dallas and Chicago.
"Good work, geography whiz," says Jared. "Neither is Kentucky. It's not a direct bus, they have stops to make."
Like Hope, Indiana.
"Like Hope, Indiana," says Jared. "Cheer up. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives."
Says you, Jensen thinks, darkly, and not to Jared. But he's pretty sure the message comes across.
*
The truth is, Jensen has never really been a fan of Jared's whole quest to find other people like them. Whatever family Jensen had, they left him. No one in his entire life has ever stayed with Jensen, been good to Jensen--no one but Jared.
And that's not enough for Jared. Jensen isn't enough. Jensen is like Jared, but he's not interesting. He can't move things with his brain or blow shit up or anything. He's just a kid who can't take care of himself, who doesn't talk, who's stupid and likes Jared too much.
Of course Jared wants to find someone better.
*
It's the middle of the night when they get off the bus in Hope, and Jensen stuffs his hands into his pockets. It's colder up here, and he's tired, and he just wants this to be over.
He's not really sure what he means by this.
"You okay?" Jared asks, frowning.
Where are we going? Jensen asks. We can't just sleep on the street, and we can't afford a hotel.
Jared's frown deepens. "Jensen, what's wrong?"
We're in the middle of nowhere, and I'm cold, Jensen says. He rubs his face. What are we doing, Jared? We're never going to find anything here.
"I didn't think you cared that much," says Jared. Jensen can see his breath. It's early spring, but apparently that doesn't mean that much here.
We need to go somewhere, says Jensen. How much do we have?
"Probably enough for a night at a cheap hotel," says Jared, looking through his wallet.
And tomorrow?
"We'll figure it out," Jared says, a little grimly.
Jensen sighs. Yeah, he says. Okay.
They end up in some fleabag motel, cheap enough Jared thinks they could do two nights, if they had to. There's just one big bed in the room, because it was cheaper, and Jensen thinks his heart might actually break.
"We should have gone to Vegas," says Jared, tossing the duffel into the corner. "You could have made us win big. We wouldn't have to worry about cash."
Jensen bristles, looking away. He's a parlor trick now. Fantastic. That doesn't hurt at all. Shower, he tells Jared, but Jared grabs his wrist before he can get into the bathroom.
"Jensen," he says, pulling so Jensen staggers into him. "Talk to me. What's wrong?"
Will you stop asking me to do that? I'm not going to fucking talk to you!
Jensen blasts the thought into Jared's brain so strongly that Jared staggers, shocked.
"Jen," says Jared, softly, all sad and hurt. "I didn't mean it like that. I didn't. I just--is that why you're so upset? Because I asked you about talking?"
Jensen scrubs his face. I get it. I'm a shitty friend. I can't take care of myself, I can't talk, I don't do anything. I'm sorry you have to take me with you on your quest to find better people with powers.
Jared looks gutted. "What are you--Jensen, I don't think that. You're my best friend, I--you're the most important thing in my entire life."
Well, it's not like there's a lot of competition.
Jared clenches his jaw and then lets out a harsh breath. "Don't be an idiot," he says. "Read my mind."
Jensen looks over at him, wary. Adrenaline is still coursing through him, and part of him wants to punch Jared, but--instead he reaches out, pushing into Jared's mind, far enough to see what's going on.
It's so strong it's almost an explosion. Jared is looking at him and all there is is love, unwavering and unbelievable, overwhelming. But as Jensen gets used to it, he starts picking out the threads. It's not just love, it's affection, and protectiveness, and then, shocking and just as strong, want, a desire for Jensen that has nothing to do with them being friends, or Jensen being a burden.
Jared flushes, looking down. "I didn't want you to, you know. Feel uncomfortable. I'll get over it, it's not a big deal. But, Jen, I'd never--"
Jensen tackles Jared back onto the bed, kissing him like he's wanted to for what feels like forever.
Jared makes a shocked little noise, and Jensen says, Shut up, dude, as he slides his tongue into Jared's mouth.
Jared laughs softly, wrapping his arms around Jensen and tugging him close. Jared isn't as good at formulating sentences, but his mind is a jumble of relief and joy, elation bleeding into Jensen's own thoughts.
Not that he needs the help.
Jared gets a better grip on him and flips them over, pushing Jensen down against the bed, positioning himself like he's planning to be here for hours.
Jensen could live with that.
Until, that is, there's a knock on the door.
Jared and Jensen exchange a look.
That's bad, right? Jensen says.
That's definitely bad, Jared agrees.
If the two of you weren't thinking so loudly, I wouldn't be here in the first place, says a completely unfamiliar voice. and Jensen isn't sure if he should be terrified or excited. Will you idiots let me in?
Jared and Jensen exchange another look and then Jared gets up, warily, to open the door.
There's a man with gray hair and a beard standing there--the man, Jensen is pretty sure, who checked them in. He doesn't look particularly amused.
"You two need to keep the mental projection to a minimum. Might not bother normals, but someone like me? You have no shields, boy, and you get loud when you argue." He looks Jensen up and down critically. "And I know where you were headed next, I definitely did not want to hear that."
Jensen flushes, but Jared still looks wary and defensive. "Who are you, exactly?"
"Jim Beaver," says the guy. "Not that I'm guessing that means anything to you two."
I guess your instincts don't totally suck, Jensen tells Jared, grudgingly. Our first night, and you already found someone like us.
Jim narrows his eyes at Jensen. "You don't even talk? No wonder you're shouting all the damn time."
"Are you the only one here?" Jared asks. Jensen has a suspicion that Jared is a little disappointed in Jim.
"The only one like you two? Yeah," says Jim, rolling his eyes at Jensen. "I know I'm not pretty or anything. And, yes, I'm the only one here. But not the only one in the world, so maybe you two can find someone you like more if you work on it."
"How many have you met?" Jared asks.
"A few," says Jim. "You two are the first since I moved out here. Hope isn't exactly a bustling tourist destination." He glances at Jared. "You had a hunch, huh? Is that your power?"
Jared doesn't say anything--it's pretty clear he doesn't trust Jim. Jensen can't exactly blame him.
The guy just snorts. "If you don't want me to know what you do, don't think about it when I ask. Telekinesis, huh? That's a handy trick."
"Anyone ever tell you that's rude?" Jared asks, glaring. "You don't have to read minds all the time. Jensen doesn't."
"Jensen needs some serious help with honing his skills." Jim considers. "Look, I know you don't like me much, for some reason, but you two can stay here a few days. You can work the front desk, Jared, and I'll teach Jensen a few tricks so he's not blasting his every thought to any passing telepath. You'll get a few bucks and a lot more privacy."
Jared considers, clearly not sure, and Jensen's the one who finally answers.
Yeah, okay, he says. Deal.
"Great," says Jim. "Now get some sleep. And no sex until you learn some damn control! I can't block out everything, and I do not want to listen to the two of you going at it."
Jared and Jensen exchange a look after he's gone. Jensen wants to say something, but he realizes that anything he thinks will probably be overheard. He worries his lip.
Jared resolves the problem for him, leaning in for a soft kiss and then pulling back with a smile. "Why don't you go shower, and then we'll get to bed."
Jensen nods and heads in. The shower is actually a little nicer than the one in the orphanage, and Jensen tries to keep his thoughts to himself as he cleans up. He's not really sure how to do that; he guesses he's always been so confident that he's the only one with his power, it never occurred to him that someone might be picking around in his brain.
When he gets out of the shower, Jared is already asleep, mouth slightly open and drooling on the pillow. Jensen feels a wave of affection, bright and happy, and slides in next to him, smiling as Jared automatically makes room and tugs him in.
It's far from the worst day he's ever had.
*
It takes a few days for Jensen to get used to Jim.
He's actually a nice guy, once he's gotten some sleep, and Jensen stops mentally screaming in his ear. Still a little gruff, but not a bad person. Jared likes working at the desk, talking to people, and while Jensen's training isn't exactly fun, it's worth it to feel secure in his own thoughts.
Once Jensen has mastered keeping his thoughts safe from Jim while still projecting them to his intended target, he feels comfortable enough to ask about Jim.
Where are you from?
"Wyoming," says Jim. He doesn't like communicating telepathically. Jensen's the only one. "But I was in Texas for a while, which I know is what you're after."
Jensen glances, without even meaning to, toward where he knows Jared is. But you didn't give up any kids there or anything like that.
"I would've mentioned," Jim agrees. He pauses, reaching over and clapping Jensen's shoulder. Jensen feels a surge of affection through the touch, which surprises him. Apparently Jim really does like him. "I met more than a few people like us in Texas. Probably you've got families around."
Were your parents people like us too, then?
"My dad was," says Jim. "Not telepathy. He could just see things. Little things, you know. Nothing like full-on visions of the future. Just, you flip a coin, he knew what side it would land on, roll a die, he'd tell you the number. Until I was born, he didn't really think it was a power." He glances over at Jensen. "I know none of that's what you're looking for."
Jensen smiles. Jared's looking for answers, he says. I'm just along for the ride.
"Well, it's probably a good thing you've got each other," says Jim. He nods, mostly to himself. "Guess you'll be moving on soon, then."
Jensen shrugs. Probably.
"You ever gonna start talking again?"
He smiles. The question doesn't hurt like it used to. Not now that he knows Jared loves him anyway. Maybe if I figure out something worth saying.
*
"Now, don't get me wrong," says Jim. "This is a loan. You don't get to just prance off and take my money. I'm expecting this back once you two are back on your feet."
Jared laughs and salutes. "I don't think we've ever been on our feet. But understood." He smiles. "No offense, I'm glad we stopped by Hope, but the job prospects are pretty much non-existent."
"Especially for seventeen-year-old runaways," Jim says dryly.
"Jensen's almost eighteen," says Jared. "He'll support me."
Jensen rolls his eyes. In your dreams, he says. Come on, we don't want to miss this bus. He shoots Jared a look. And I swear to God, if you decide we should stop at some other random, no-name town because you've got a feeling, I'm going to hit you. We need to go somewhere we can blend in, not be the talk of the town.
Jared's grin, as usual, makes Jensen want to forgive him for anything and everything. "Hey, this turned out okay, right?"
"If you say no, I'm taking my money back," Jim says dryly. He looks up over Jensen's shoulder. "Your ride is here. You've got my number, give me a call from Chicago."
"We will," Jared promises. "Thanks for everything. Again."
"Don't be strangers," says Jim. "Us freaks have to stick together."
Thanks, Jensen says, softly, just for Jim, and then he's following Jared onto the bus.
"So, Chicago," says Jared.
Chicago, I guess, Jensen agrees. Any particular reason for Chicago?
"Well, we're already almost there," says Jared. "It's more anonymous. I think we'll be able to find something that can help us."
Help us with what, exactly? We know we're not the only ones now, what more are you looking for?
"Somewhere we can live," says Jared. He shrugs, clearly a little embarrassed. "You know. A home."
Jensen worries his lip. We don't need anyone else for that, he says. I mean, we've got each other, right?
Jared smiles, threading their fingers together. "Yeah, we've got each other." He glances around, and then directs his thoughts to Jensen instead. On the other hand, we're also still underage runaways who aren't actually allowed to live on our own yet.
Just a few more months, says Jensen.
Jared clears his throat. "Not to bring up a sore subject," he says. "But--if you're going to get a job, I think you might need to be a little more, um. Vocal."
Jensen considers that. It's not that he couldn't be mute. He's pretty sure there are discrimination laws that prevent anyone from not hiring someone who can't talk. But it would draw more attention. They might expect documentation or something.
And, more than that, Jensen thinks--it's a little pointless, in a way. He's got a new start, and something like this, it's his past. It's years of bullies and stubbornness and pain.
He licks his lips, opening his mouth and closing it again, testing how it works.
"Jared," he finally says. It's not as good, really. It's just a word when he says it, no love, no warmth he can't keep all in his head.
But Jared's grinning, like he's never heard anything better in his life.
"You might need to say more than that," he teases, leaning in for a kiss.
Jensen doesn't really think so. He's pretty sure he's got all he needs.
Author: poor_choices
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Rating: PG-13.
Warnings: Bullying.
Word Count: 5200.
Summary: Jensen's never fit in with anyone but Jared, so it's no surprise that he'd follow him anywhere.
Notes: Inspired (very loosely) by Escape to Witch Mountain. Written for brate7 for fandomaid! Sorry it took so long! Title from the Goo Goo Dolls.
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.
Jensen finds Jared, as he so often does, waiting outside Ms. Barnes' office. He wasn't allowed to go to the nurse before reporting for punishment, so the cut on his cheek is still bleeding, and Jensen can see his eye starting to bruise up.
You have to stop doing this, Jensen tells him, fishing a pack of tissues out of his pocket and sitting down next to Jared on the bench.
"They were bothering you," Jared mutters. Jensen could just read his mind, but these days, Jared prefers to speak. Jensen suspects Jared doesn't like the idea of Jensen poking around in his brain anymore, now that he's older. Jensen tries not to let it upset him. Jared's never been great at controlling his thoughts, and it's understandable that he might want to keep some secrets.
They always bother me, Jensen points out. They always bother me, you always fight them, and you always get in trouble and they don't.
Jared's smile is lopsided and completely charming. Jensen doesn't understand how no one else is ever affected. "Well, we're bad kids, you know."
It's more, Jensen knows, that they're freaks. That Jared can get the drop on anyone, because telekinesis is the kind of advantage it's hard for regular kids to compete with.
Don't even joke about that, dumbass. He gets Jared cleaned up to his satisfaction and sighs. I saw Cohen on my way over.
Jared doesn't growl, but it's close. The bench shakes a little, and Jensen puts his hand on Jared's arm to calm him. Jared's powers really don't need to flare up right now.
"What did he say?" Jared asks, after a few deep, calming breaths.
Jensen sighs. The usual. Now that you're out of the picture, he's going to come and beat the crap out of me, I'm a freak, you're a freak. Everyone's a freak, pretty much.
"I'm going to kill him," Jared mutters.
You are not, Jensen says, with a hint of steel. He doesn't believe Jared would, but he thinks it's important to make sure.
"We can't keep doing this, Jensen," Jared says, leaning back and closing his eyes. "We don't belong here."
We don't belong anywhere, Jensen points out.
"We could," Jared says. "We haven't been everywhere yet. There are all kinds of places in the world that aren't this."
It isn't the first time Jared has said something like this. Jared has always been a dreamer.
"Mr. Padalecki," said Ms. Barnes, opening the door. "Come in. Mr. Ackles, I assume you have somewhere else to be."
Don't do anything stupid, says Jensen, a little desperately.
Jared, of course, just smiles tightly.
*
"Where's your boyfriend, Ackles?" Cohen sneers as Jensen passes. He keeps his head down, tries not to look, as if when he can't see Cohen, Cohen can't hurt him.
Jensen doesn't know what it is about him that makes people upset. Cohen's hated him for as long as he's known him, but he's far from the only one. Until Jared showed up when Jensen was twelve, he got beaten up all the time, for being a freak, for not talking, for things he doesn't even understand.
When Jared showed up, Jensen somehow knew. He realized Jared was an ally, and Jared did too. They've been inseparable ever since. Jensen hadn't even talked to him at first, not until Jared said, "Hey, can I tell you a secret?" and showed Jensen how he could move things with his mind. And then it was easy for Jensen to let his words edge into Jared's mind, to tell him the secrets he's been keeping his whole life.
"Guess he isn't around to protect you," Cohen was saying, and Jensen tries to just keep walking and ignore him. Jensen isn't defenseless, but Cohen has more friends than he does, and without Jared's size and confusing new muscles--to say nothing of his telekinesis--Jensen is pretty well fucked in a fight.
"You know, Matt," says Welling, "I bet if we hit him hard enough, he'd make a noise. You think we could get him to scream?"
Jensen braces, trying to figure out where he can go. Cohen, Welling, and Rosenbaum are all here, and none of the other guys are going to raise a finger to help Jensen. He knows that much from experience.
If he gets inside, he'll be a little better off; there are adults inside, and even if they turn a blind eye to bullying they don't personally witness, they'll tell them to break it up when they actually see it.
Jensen looks around for anything that can help, but he's stuck.
He's not proud of it, but he runs.
*
Jared gets back to their room an hour later; Jensen can tell from the way he's walking that he got spanked. Jared says it should be illegal to spank anyone in this day and age, but Jensen doesn't really know much about laws. And he's not sure anyone cares about that in an orphanage.
"I'm sixteen," Jared grumbles, and then he spots Jensen. "Shit. I'm going to fucking murder them."
It's fine, Jensen says, closing his eyes. You got it worse than I did this time.
"It's my job to take care of you," Jared says, soft, and almost to himself.
It's not, really, Jensen says. I should be able to take care of myself.
Jensen feels the dip of the bed and opens his eyes to see Jared. He looks tired, worn out, and more defeated than Jensen has seen him in a long time.
I don't want you to stop or anything, he says, not sure if that's actually the problem.
"I meant what I said earlier," Jared says, as if he didn't hear Jensen. "About us leaving."
Leaving?
"You know, getting out of here. Away from Cohen and his asshole friends. Away from Barnes and--just everything. Everything but us, you know?"
I'll be eighteen in a few months, Jensen offers, uselessly.
"Yeah, you'll get out, and I'll be stuck here alone," Jared says.
I would never leave you alone here, Jensen says. Jared, you have to know that.
There's a long pause, Jared closing his eyes and leaning back against the wall. He looks worn out and older than his years. Jensen aches to do--something. He doesn't even know what. "I can't stay here," Jared says, so soft Jensen has to read his mind, just a little, to make sure he heard right. Jared's emotions are a swirl, all tangled and upset. Jensen sits up, repositioning so he's next to Jared, leaning against his shoulder. Jared wraps his arm around Jensen, leaning back so their heads bump together, comforting and not painful. "I hate this. We don't belong here, you know? We're not like them."
We're not like anybody.
"We're like each other!" Jared says, and he sounds so upset it shocks Jensen. He had no idea it bothered Jared this much. "We can't be the only two people in the world like this, you know?" He sighs. "We found each other, there have to be more of us."
You want more? Jensen asks, before he can stop himself. Telepathy doesn't always give him the best brain/mouth filter, really. Probably because his mouth never actually gets involved.
"I want everyone to stop looking at us like we're freaks," Jared says.
Jensen doesn't really know what Jared thinks they're going to do, but he knows as soon as he asks, Jared will take it as agreement that they're going.
And he'll be right. Jensen doesn't know how to say no to Jared. He doesn't even want to learn.
We're underage, Jensen says. We couldn't get our own place. Where would we even go?
Jared's grin is instantaneous and transforms his whole face. He knows he's won, and Jensen can't be upset about it. Not as long as Jared wants them to go together.
*
Jared has a plan.
You've been thinking about this, Jensen says, impressed. They spent the night packing and getting ready; it's almost dawn now, and Jensen is running on adrenaline and affection. How long have you been planning to run away?
It's still the middle of the night, and they're leaving through the window, both of them sitting on Jared's huge duffel bag, which he's floating down. Jensen didn't know his powers had gotten so strong, but Jared is just full of surprises tonight.
Forever, Jared says. He told Jensen to just scan his mind, since they're staying quiet. Whatever thoughts he doesn't want Jensen seeing, he's keeping to himself. I've always hated it here.
I know, Jensen says, looking away as they hit the ground outside the walls of the orphanage. He shouldn't feel guilty, but he does. He's sure that if he wasn't around, Jared would have left a long time ago.
"Stop worrying," Jared says, knocking his shoulder against Jensen's lightly. He's smiling, and his teeth are bright in the moonlight. Jensen smiles back automatically. "Come on, we need to get to the bus stop before they figure out where we are."
Are you sure there's going to be a bus out before morning? Jensen asks.
"Yes, I'm sure. I memorized the bus schedule. There's one at six to Chicago."
They've been saving whatever money they can find for years, and Jared's kept it hidden well enough that no one else ever discovered it. They still don't have much--a lot for kids, but not a lot for two people running away and starting a new life--but they have enough for two bus tickets, at the very least.
And what are we going to do in Chicago?
Jared slings the duffel over his shoulder and starts walking, knowing Jensen will follow, as he always does. "I don't know. That's across most of the country, though," he says. "Maybe we'll see another place that strikes our fancy first."
Jensen worries his lip. You really think we're going to find anything? Answers about who we are, or whatever?
"They have to be out there, right? It can't just be some random coincidence that we both have these powers and we found each other, can it? There must be something."
Jensen doesn't respond. He's never thought it was coincidence, not once.
He's always thought of it as fate.
*
They get to the bus depot just around 5:30. It's still dark, and the guy selling the tickets is half asleep. Jensen had worried he'd ask questions--it's legal to buy a bus ticket when you aren't eighteen, right? This is the kind of thing Jensen has never actually wondered about.
But Jared clearly has checked all this stuff. Jared knows exactly what he's doing.
They sit on the bench together, Jensen finally giving in to his weariness and leaning against Jared's shoulder, trying not to fall asleep.
Jared just looks amused. "Sorry," he murmurs. "I guess I kept you up."
It's okay, Jensen says, yawning a little. We needed to get out of there. He pauses. Do you think she's going to try to find us?
"I think she has to," Jared says. "I mean, there are laws and stuff. We'd be runaways."
But she doesn't like us anyway, Jensen points out.
Jared laughs. "Yeah, but I don't think we're that lucky. I think it takes them a while to look across state lines. Maybe." He makes a face. "I don't really know much about this either."
I didn't think you could buy a bus ticket if you were under eighteen, Jensen admits, not wanting Jared to think he's alone in ignorance.
Jared ruffles his hair, laughing. Even though Jared's a year younger than Jensen, he's always taken care of Jensen, easy affection that Jensen can't help but bask in. It's not like anyone else has ever given him any.
"Well, I was ready to say we had parental permission. But I don't think that guy would have cared if I told him we were running away to Canada to get married."
Jensen doesn't flush, mostly through sheer effort. I think there are places we could get married without having to forge passports, he says.
"You're right. There's no reason to go to Canada for our hypothetical marriage," Jared agrees. He gives Jensen's hair another ruffle and stands, stretching. "Come on, I see the bus coming. You can sleep on the road."
Have you ever been out of Texas?
"Not that I remember. I don't know. Everything before I got in the system is kind of a blur, you know?"
Jensen does know. He and Jared have talked about it a lot, how they don't really know who they are or where they came from. It's one of those things that makes Jared so sure they can't be alone, can't be the only ones.
It just seems kind of weird, Jensen admits. Leaving Texas to try to figure out where we come from. All we have to go on is Texas.
"And each other," says Jared, wrapping his arm round Jensen's shoulders again. Jensen falls asleep there, tucked under his arm, feeling surprisingly happy.
It's not like his life was particularly good before. And he's taking the best part of it with him.
*
As it turns out, buses suck.
They stop for a break every few hours, either at rest stops or in other no-name towns to pick people up and let them off, but mostly they just drive, and Jared and Jensen sit there. The novelty of looking out the window for Jared wore off while Jensen was still asleep, and now they're just bored, sleeping when they can, but mostly just staring into space.
Apparently there is absolutely nothing interesting between Dallas and Chicago.
Around Kentucky, Jared finally says, "I always wondered."
Jensen, who's been dozing, stirs. Huh?
Jared's hands are in his hair, carding through it gently. "I just--I always wondered if you could talk."
Jensen stiffens, body seizing up. Jared's never asked him that. Jared's never cared. Jared was the one person in the world who never tried to make him speak, who didn't treat him like he was flawed.
"I don't care," Jared says quickly. He pulls Jensen in against his shoulder, not letting him move away. Not that he really could. They're stuck on a bus. And besides, he doesn't know anywhere in the world to go without Jared. "I don't. I was just curious. It seemed crazy, all this stuff I knew about you, that I never knew that."
Jensen shields his first thoughts carefully, makes sure none of the pain he's feeling leaks out. Instead, he schools himself, and gives an answer.
I think I can, he says. It was always--confusing. I couldn't control my powers when I was little. When I talked, everything came out jumbled, like people's thoughts. The other kids made fun of me. It was easier not to talk. But then they wanted to prove I could I guess, so they started beating me up. And I didn't want to give them the satisfaction.
Jared nods, looking down at his hands. "I just wonder, sometimes. What your voice sounds like."
Jensen shrugs, uncomfortable. Like a voice, I guess.
Jared ruffles his hair. "I really don't care."
But Jensen can't shake it.
*
"Hey," says Jared. "Hey, wake up."
Jensen stirs, feeling creaky and disjointed. His mouth is full of cotton, and his heart still feels bruised.
He blinks at Jared, doesn't even bother thinking anything.
"We're in Hope."
Jensen raises his eyebrows.
"Hope, Indiana. We're getting off."
In Hope? Isn't that a little-- he lets Jared in on more of his emotions, a sense of vague affection and amusement, but with embarrassment and a mental eye-roll in there too.
Jared laughs. "Yes, it's corny," he says. "That's the word you're looking for. But it could also be a sign."
You think we're from Hope?
"No," says Jared. "But I think we're going to like it there."
Jensen sighs, stretching. Why are we even in Indiana? I don't think that's between Dallas and Chicago.
"Good work, geography whiz," says Jared. "Neither is Kentucky. It's not a direct bus, they have stops to make."
Like Hope, Indiana.
"Like Hope, Indiana," says Jared. "Cheer up. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives."
Says you, Jensen thinks, darkly, and not to Jared. But he's pretty sure the message comes across.
*
The truth is, Jensen has never really been a fan of Jared's whole quest to find other people like them. Whatever family Jensen had, they left him. No one in his entire life has ever stayed with Jensen, been good to Jensen--no one but Jared.
And that's not enough for Jared. Jensen isn't enough. Jensen is like Jared, but he's not interesting. He can't move things with his brain or blow shit up or anything. He's just a kid who can't take care of himself, who doesn't talk, who's stupid and likes Jared too much.
Of course Jared wants to find someone better.
*
It's the middle of the night when they get off the bus in Hope, and Jensen stuffs his hands into his pockets. It's colder up here, and he's tired, and he just wants this to be over.
He's not really sure what he means by this.
"You okay?" Jared asks, frowning.
Where are we going? Jensen asks. We can't just sleep on the street, and we can't afford a hotel.
Jared's frown deepens. "Jensen, what's wrong?"
We're in the middle of nowhere, and I'm cold, Jensen says. He rubs his face. What are we doing, Jared? We're never going to find anything here.
"I didn't think you cared that much," says Jared. Jensen can see his breath. It's early spring, but apparently that doesn't mean that much here.
We need to go somewhere, says Jensen. How much do we have?
"Probably enough for a night at a cheap hotel," says Jared, looking through his wallet.
And tomorrow?
"We'll figure it out," Jared says, a little grimly.
Jensen sighs. Yeah, he says. Okay.
They end up in some fleabag motel, cheap enough Jared thinks they could do two nights, if they had to. There's just one big bed in the room, because it was cheaper, and Jensen thinks his heart might actually break.
"We should have gone to Vegas," says Jared, tossing the duffel into the corner. "You could have made us win big. We wouldn't have to worry about cash."
Jensen bristles, looking away. He's a parlor trick now. Fantastic. That doesn't hurt at all. Shower, he tells Jared, but Jared grabs his wrist before he can get into the bathroom.
"Jensen," he says, pulling so Jensen staggers into him. "Talk to me. What's wrong?"
Will you stop asking me to do that? I'm not going to fucking talk to you!
Jensen blasts the thought into Jared's brain so strongly that Jared staggers, shocked.
"Jen," says Jared, softly, all sad and hurt. "I didn't mean it like that. I didn't. I just--is that why you're so upset? Because I asked you about talking?"
Jensen scrubs his face. I get it. I'm a shitty friend. I can't take care of myself, I can't talk, I don't do anything. I'm sorry you have to take me with you on your quest to find better people with powers.
Jared looks gutted. "What are you--Jensen, I don't think that. You're my best friend, I--you're the most important thing in my entire life."
Well, it's not like there's a lot of competition.
Jared clenches his jaw and then lets out a harsh breath. "Don't be an idiot," he says. "Read my mind."
Jensen looks over at him, wary. Adrenaline is still coursing through him, and part of him wants to punch Jared, but--instead he reaches out, pushing into Jared's mind, far enough to see what's going on.
It's so strong it's almost an explosion. Jared is looking at him and all there is is love, unwavering and unbelievable, overwhelming. But as Jensen gets used to it, he starts picking out the threads. It's not just love, it's affection, and protectiveness, and then, shocking and just as strong, want, a desire for Jensen that has nothing to do with them being friends, or Jensen being a burden.
Jared flushes, looking down. "I didn't want you to, you know. Feel uncomfortable. I'll get over it, it's not a big deal. But, Jen, I'd never--"
Jensen tackles Jared back onto the bed, kissing him like he's wanted to for what feels like forever.
Jared makes a shocked little noise, and Jensen says, Shut up, dude, as he slides his tongue into Jared's mouth.
Jared laughs softly, wrapping his arms around Jensen and tugging him close. Jared isn't as good at formulating sentences, but his mind is a jumble of relief and joy, elation bleeding into Jensen's own thoughts.
Not that he needs the help.
Jared gets a better grip on him and flips them over, pushing Jensen down against the bed, positioning himself like he's planning to be here for hours.
Jensen could live with that.
Until, that is, there's a knock on the door.
Jared and Jensen exchange a look.
That's bad, right? Jensen says.
That's definitely bad, Jared agrees.
If the two of you weren't thinking so loudly, I wouldn't be here in the first place, says a completely unfamiliar voice. and Jensen isn't sure if he should be terrified or excited. Will you idiots let me in?
Jared and Jensen exchange another look and then Jared gets up, warily, to open the door.
There's a man with gray hair and a beard standing there--the man, Jensen is pretty sure, who checked them in. He doesn't look particularly amused.
"You two need to keep the mental projection to a minimum. Might not bother normals, but someone like me? You have no shields, boy, and you get loud when you argue." He looks Jensen up and down critically. "And I know where you were headed next, I definitely did not want to hear that."
Jensen flushes, but Jared still looks wary and defensive. "Who are you, exactly?"
"Jim Beaver," says the guy. "Not that I'm guessing that means anything to you two."
I guess your instincts don't totally suck, Jensen tells Jared, grudgingly. Our first night, and you already found someone like us.
Jim narrows his eyes at Jensen. "You don't even talk? No wonder you're shouting all the damn time."
"Are you the only one here?" Jared asks. Jensen has a suspicion that Jared is a little disappointed in Jim.
"The only one like you two? Yeah," says Jim, rolling his eyes at Jensen. "I know I'm not pretty or anything. And, yes, I'm the only one here. But not the only one in the world, so maybe you two can find someone you like more if you work on it."
"How many have you met?" Jared asks.
"A few," says Jim. "You two are the first since I moved out here. Hope isn't exactly a bustling tourist destination." He glances at Jared. "You had a hunch, huh? Is that your power?"
Jared doesn't say anything--it's pretty clear he doesn't trust Jim. Jensen can't exactly blame him.
The guy just snorts. "If you don't want me to know what you do, don't think about it when I ask. Telekinesis, huh? That's a handy trick."
"Anyone ever tell you that's rude?" Jared asks, glaring. "You don't have to read minds all the time. Jensen doesn't."
"Jensen needs some serious help with honing his skills." Jim considers. "Look, I know you don't like me much, for some reason, but you two can stay here a few days. You can work the front desk, Jared, and I'll teach Jensen a few tricks so he's not blasting his every thought to any passing telepath. You'll get a few bucks and a lot more privacy."
Jared considers, clearly not sure, and Jensen's the one who finally answers.
Yeah, okay, he says. Deal.
"Great," says Jim. "Now get some sleep. And no sex until you learn some damn control! I can't block out everything, and I do not want to listen to the two of you going at it."
Jared and Jensen exchange a look after he's gone. Jensen wants to say something, but he realizes that anything he thinks will probably be overheard. He worries his lip.
Jared resolves the problem for him, leaning in for a soft kiss and then pulling back with a smile. "Why don't you go shower, and then we'll get to bed."
Jensen nods and heads in. The shower is actually a little nicer than the one in the orphanage, and Jensen tries to keep his thoughts to himself as he cleans up. He's not really sure how to do that; he guesses he's always been so confident that he's the only one with his power, it never occurred to him that someone might be picking around in his brain.
When he gets out of the shower, Jared is already asleep, mouth slightly open and drooling on the pillow. Jensen feels a wave of affection, bright and happy, and slides in next to him, smiling as Jared automatically makes room and tugs him in.
It's far from the worst day he's ever had.
*
It takes a few days for Jensen to get used to Jim.
He's actually a nice guy, once he's gotten some sleep, and Jensen stops mentally screaming in his ear. Still a little gruff, but not a bad person. Jared likes working at the desk, talking to people, and while Jensen's training isn't exactly fun, it's worth it to feel secure in his own thoughts.
Once Jensen has mastered keeping his thoughts safe from Jim while still projecting them to his intended target, he feels comfortable enough to ask about Jim.
Where are you from?
"Wyoming," says Jim. He doesn't like communicating telepathically. Jensen's the only one. "But I was in Texas for a while, which I know is what you're after."
Jensen glances, without even meaning to, toward where he knows Jared is. But you didn't give up any kids there or anything like that.
"I would've mentioned," Jim agrees. He pauses, reaching over and clapping Jensen's shoulder. Jensen feels a surge of affection through the touch, which surprises him. Apparently Jim really does like him. "I met more than a few people like us in Texas. Probably you've got families around."
Were your parents people like us too, then?
"My dad was," says Jim. "Not telepathy. He could just see things. Little things, you know. Nothing like full-on visions of the future. Just, you flip a coin, he knew what side it would land on, roll a die, he'd tell you the number. Until I was born, he didn't really think it was a power." He glances over at Jensen. "I know none of that's what you're looking for."
Jensen smiles. Jared's looking for answers, he says. I'm just along for the ride.
"Well, it's probably a good thing you've got each other," says Jim. He nods, mostly to himself. "Guess you'll be moving on soon, then."
Jensen shrugs. Probably.
"You ever gonna start talking again?"
He smiles. The question doesn't hurt like it used to. Not now that he knows Jared loves him anyway. Maybe if I figure out something worth saying.
*
"Now, don't get me wrong," says Jim. "This is a loan. You don't get to just prance off and take my money. I'm expecting this back once you two are back on your feet."
Jared laughs and salutes. "I don't think we've ever been on our feet. But understood." He smiles. "No offense, I'm glad we stopped by Hope, but the job prospects are pretty much non-existent."
"Especially for seventeen-year-old runaways," Jim says dryly.
"Jensen's almost eighteen," says Jared. "He'll support me."
Jensen rolls his eyes. In your dreams, he says. Come on, we don't want to miss this bus. He shoots Jared a look. And I swear to God, if you decide we should stop at some other random, no-name town because you've got a feeling, I'm going to hit you. We need to go somewhere we can blend in, not be the talk of the town.
Jared's grin, as usual, makes Jensen want to forgive him for anything and everything. "Hey, this turned out okay, right?"
"If you say no, I'm taking my money back," Jim says dryly. He looks up over Jensen's shoulder. "Your ride is here. You've got my number, give me a call from Chicago."
"We will," Jared promises. "Thanks for everything. Again."
"Don't be strangers," says Jim. "Us freaks have to stick together."
Thanks, Jensen says, softly, just for Jim, and then he's following Jared onto the bus.
"So, Chicago," says Jared.
Chicago, I guess, Jensen agrees. Any particular reason for Chicago?
"Well, we're already almost there," says Jared. "It's more anonymous. I think we'll be able to find something that can help us."
Help us with what, exactly? We know we're not the only ones now, what more are you looking for?
"Somewhere we can live," says Jared. He shrugs, clearly a little embarrassed. "You know. A home."
Jensen worries his lip. We don't need anyone else for that, he says. I mean, we've got each other, right?
Jared smiles, threading their fingers together. "Yeah, we've got each other." He glances around, and then directs his thoughts to Jensen instead. On the other hand, we're also still underage runaways who aren't actually allowed to live on our own yet.
Just a few more months, says Jensen.
Jared clears his throat. "Not to bring up a sore subject," he says. "But--if you're going to get a job, I think you might need to be a little more, um. Vocal."
Jensen considers that. It's not that he couldn't be mute. He's pretty sure there are discrimination laws that prevent anyone from not hiring someone who can't talk. But it would draw more attention. They might expect documentation or something.
And, more than that, Jensen thinks--it's a little pointless, in a way. He's got a new start, and something like this, it's his past. It's years of bullies and stubbornness and pain.
He licks his lips, opening his mouth and closing it again, testing how it works.
"Jared," he finally says. It's not as good, really. It's just a word when he says it, no love, no warmth he can't keep all in his head.
But Jared's grinning, like he's never heard anything better in his life.
"You might need to say more than that," he teases, leaning in for a kiss.
Jensen doesn't really think so. He's pretty sure he's got all he needs.