Little MISS Bigbang Chapter 9
Chapter 9 - sleeping arrangements
"NO!" Seungri screamed, so loud that the two men flinched and looked as if they felt like their ears were bleeding. Jiyong grumbled as he leaned his forehead against the door, twisting the locked door knob for the millionth time, cursing the fact that he wasn't telekinetic or something.
"Ya! Don't be so loud like that, SeungRi! Our neighbors might hear you!" Youngbae called through the bathroom door, rapping on it a couple of times. The oldest man stopped thinking about how they might calm the maknae out of his tantrum when he was met with Jiyong's offended face. "What?" he asked, confused.
"Excuse me, Mr. Dong Youngbae! I'm not cheap, dammit, and I made sure my walls were soundproof, you idiot!" JiYong gritted his teeth angrily, then felt Youngbae's stare boring into him.
"What would you need soundproofed walls for?" YoungBae asked as he glanced around.
"Isn't it obvious!?" JiYong exclaimed incredulously, then hung his head when it was obvious that the older man didn't understand. Ji's head snapped up to give YoungBae the weirdest and widest grin the other man had ever seen. "I don't like the neighbors hearing me," he smirked devilishly, enjoying the few seconds he had to poke fun at the man who was once again best friend.
"Huh?" YoungBae blinked innocently, still totally clueless.
"I mean," Jiyong said deliberately and raised his eyebrows smugly, nudging his elbow into YoungBae's ribs. "You know, when I-"
"EW!" YoungBae panicked, unintentionally shoving JiYong and making the leader land on his butt. "Ya!" he scowled. "I don't want to hear anything about what noisy, nasty things you do here!" YoungBae blushed, feeling like his face was hot enough to cook an egg on. JiYong winced as he massaged his poor bottom.
"I MAKE MUSIC! I DON'T LIKE TO DISTURB THE NEIGHBORS WHEN I MAKE MUSIC! Shit, YoungBae! That hurt!" JiYong pouted as he knelt down, hands still rubbing his butt.
Bae turned his focus back to the door, deciding it was easiest to ignore JiYong. The leader though, was still having a lot of fun, and Youngbae was surprised to find JiYong lingering too close to him for comfort. "Ya!" YoungBae exclaimed warningly, leaning away.
"You thought I was about to talk about 'doing the nasty,' huh YoungBae?" JiYong said loudly, and panicked and embarrassed, YoungBae slapped a hand over
his best friend's mouth.
"What the fuck are you talking about, Jiyong?!" the singer protested futilely. He was shaking and breathing really quickly- practically hyperventilating. Fine, he wasn't the best at and most certainly not comfortable with talking about the birds and the bees. JiYong swatted YoungBae's hand off of his face and bit his lip, tilting his head toward door, and smirked.
He leaned closer to YoungBae and whispered in the older man's ear. "Trust me, YoungBae- this will get Maknae out of the bathroom..." He chuckled as YoungBae nodded nervously; he was only going along with it for Ri's sake, of course. "So, haha, you want to know about what I do in here, huh YoungBae?" JiYong spoke in an even louder voice.
"No, not real- Ouch!" YoungBae complained when JiYong's hand thwacked him in the back of the head. Getting that he needed to play along, he nodded. Again, JiYong rolled his eyes and gave the lead singer a look, thinking 'Seriously? You're fucking kidding me; like the maknae could see you nod.'
"Ahh!" Youngbae yelped, then straightened up, realizing his mistake. He gulped nervously before playing along with whatever plan Ji had. "What EXACTLY is it that you do in here?" he asked, faking interest. His tone was the most superficial JiYong had ever heard, and the leader made a mental note not to ever let his best friend attempt acting at all.
"Well, you know why I keep the place sound proofed..."JiYong said teasingly, pressing his ear against the door. He pressed it closely, and he was pretty damn sure that the maknae was doing the same thing on the other side of the wood.
"No, tell me, Ji. Why do you need a sound proof place?" YoungBae smiled, noticing that the maknae had stopped sulking inside the bathroom. He gave JiYong a thumbs up, grinning widely. Hm, that whatever they were doing, it had to be working. JiYong nodded in acknowledgment and cleared his throat before he continued with his plan.
"Well you see, sometimes it gets too loud," he said, playing along by using the words 'too loud', and making sure to emphasize the obvious double meaning of the topic. "Especially if it gets to the point that screaming comes into the picture 'cause I... get... so... into... IT." Jiyong nearly blushed when he finished his sentence. Maybe it'd been a bit too much because he'd even distracted himself for a moment. YoungBae looked disgusted and turned away. JiYong thought about stopping; he felt bad already because YoungBae was obviously uncomfortable. When he was about to give up though, he saw YoungBae gesture towards him, encouraging the younger man to go on baiting the maknae.
They both noticed the odd silence inside the bathroom and a split second later heard the door knob wiggle. Obviously the maknae had been about to open the door but had hesitated at the last minute.
Seeing this, JiYong tried to continue his double meaning fiasco, but found himself blank. 'What the hell am I supposed to say now?' he wondered.
"Don't you get tired doing that?" YoungBae surprised the younger man by speaking and solving the problem. JiYong looked at the older man, thinking the scene completely torturous as well as comedic. JiYong thought that maybe, just maybe, YoungBae still had a chance at an acting career, just so long as he acted in a silent movie and it was a comedy. He felt a hard poke in his ribs, prodding him, and he snapped back to reality.
"Why would I get tired doing THAT? I enjoy doing it the normal way, standing, lying down, and even flipped over the couch with my head hanging off the edge while I hold on to-"
With a creak, the door swung open. The two men stepped back, surprised to see the youngest man breathing heavily, nostrils flaring.
Seungri had locked himself inside the bathroom the moment YoungBae started talking about DaeSung. He was lucky, actually, that DaeSung was too distraught to ask who he was and JiYong had enough common sense to drag him home before DaeSung could wonder any more. He knew that they all felt bad about DaeSung's situation, and he wanted to help, but when YoungBae suggested that he go on a date with DaeSung the next day... that was just stupid! Totally unacceptable and out of the question! He had too much stress already, had a freaking panic attack when YoungBae went berserk on him. Like he needed anything else to worry about.
He protested, saying that he didn't want to have to pretend again. Then, JiYong said they could judt tell DaeSung his secret since YoungBae knew about it about it, and Seungri felt scared. He screamed that he wanted the smallest number of people as possible to know about his situation. The two men continued pestering him about the topic though, so he screamed at the top of his lungs in desperation and frustration before locking himself in the bathroom.
After nearly 20 minutes of futile coaxing, his eyes widened when he heard Ji start talking about an intriguing topic. Ri stopped wandering around the bathroom and began listening to what JiYong was saying, a blush spreading over his face. He'd never heard the leader talk about 'that topic'. No matter how many times he'd tried get the older man to, he was always shut down or worse- wrestled into silence.
SeungRi pushed his ear closer to the wood, holding his breath with his tongue stuck out in concentration. "He does what!? Damn, Hyung, talk louder!" SeungRi whispered, his heart beating quickly as he gripped the door knob tightly. When he thought that the two had stopped talking, JiYong surprised him with a declaration about doing it the 'normal way... standing... lying down... flipped over, and... what!?
With that, the maknae's face burned and his blood rushed through his body. Making a split second decision, he opened the door, much to the surprise of the other two men.
Bae and JiYong were standing outside the door looking startled and surprised and leaning slightly away from the maknae. They saw that youngest man's eyes were dilated and his shoulders moved up and down as though he was struggling to breathe.
"What!? You do it upside-down too!?" SeungRi exclaimed incredulously. The maknae looked as though he'd just found the most interesting topic in the world.
Bae snorted and doubled over as he laughed hysterically, unable to believe that JiYong's plan had actually worked. He was amused to discover that despite the dainty and gentle outter form SeungRi possessed, he was still a growing twenty-one year old, complete with overactive hormones, and the maknae was obviously excited by the story.
"Yeah, I do IT upside-down," JiYong smirked, satisfied that his little plan had worked. "I make music in all positions, of course. And when I do, I make sure that it's loud enough for me to enjoy the smooth ride. It gets boring composing while sitting at a desk too, so I make it in endless positions: sitting down, lying down, up-side-down..." JiYong's tone was playfully mocking as he spoke each line with its double meaning. SeungRi tilted his head, and when he finally got it, his face turned such a deep red color that JiYong was sure that all of the younger boy's blood had ended up in his face.
"What the fuck, Hyung?! I thought you were talking about-" Ri cried then cut himself off, biting his lower lip.
"Ya!" JiYong playfully smacked the maknae in the back of the head. "What the hell did you think I was taking about?"
"I think that he thought you were talking about the birds and the bees!" Bae laughed, tears escaping the corners of his eyes. "Oh my God, SeungRi. Once a pervert, always a pervert." YoungBae was laughing so hard he was practically choking on his laughter.
SeungRi felt like steam was blowing out of his ears, a product of humiliation and annoyance. "Ya! I hate you both!" he screamed and began forcefully swinging the door closed, planning to slam the heavy piece of wood.
"Ya!" JiYong and YoungBae screamed as they pushed open the door, then...
"FUUUUUCCKKKK!" JiYong's scream shattered the friendly atmosphere. He screamed in such a horrid way, a bloodcurdling exclamation of pure pain, that it sounded like he was starring in a horror movie.
"Oh shit!" YoungBae cried, looking pale, and SeungRi stepped back when he realized what had just happened.
In a desperate attempt to keep the door open JiYong had stuck his right foot between door its frame, and as stupid as he could be at times, he'd forgotten he wasn't wearing any shoes. Worse, he was merely barefoot. JiYong continued screaming and he fell to the carpeted floor like a rock, body bent over as he curled into a ball and tried to massage his foot, which seemed to be broken.
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"Ow, ow, ouch! Be gentle please!" JiYong begged and hissed as Youngbae carefully wrapped his foot in bandages and the maknae placed an ice pack on it. The leader pouted and puffed out his cheeks as his right foot swelled. "Aaaiiiish!!!" JiYong grabbed the nearby towel began thwacking SeungRi in the head with gentle yet frustrated smacks. "i hate you! I hate you! Stupid maknae! Stupid jerk! I hate you!" he wailed.
SeungRi didn't even put up a fight, just welcoming the towel hitting him and silently thanking God that JiYong still couldn't manage to hit a 'girl,' because his hyung was obviously holding back. He shivered at the thought that if he'd been his normal self JiYong might have strangled him right into the ICU.
Bae just watched as JiYong tried his best to hit the maknae, sighing as his gazed traveled to land on JiYong foot. "We'll need to explain this to our choreographer tomorrow," he said unhappily. The singer's eyes quickly to the maknae, whose head was bowed low. His hand hand moved to give the maknae a comforting squeeze...
"Ya ya ya! YoungBae, you're my best friend! No fraternizing with the enemy right now!" JiYong scowled and swatted YoungBae's hand off of Seungri's shoulder.
"Enemy?!" Seungri protested. "You were the one who played that mean trick, getting me curious about something then in the end holding back!" As Ri defended himself he opened his eyes. Jiyong though, didn't noticed this and continued to whack SeungRi in the face. Because of this JiYong accidentally whipped SeungRi's eyes with the corner of the towel, making the maknae yelp at the burning, stinging, sharp pain that he was surprised to feel. "Ya! Ouch!" SeungRi stumbled back, falling, as his left eye burned and his face scrunched up in pain.
"Oh my God!" YoungBae cried and dropped the ice pack as he watched the maknae fall. "FUCK!" JiYong cursed at himself angrily. The two men dove towards the maknae then sat on either side of the younger man, trying to care for him. JiYong pulled SeungRi's hand away from his eyes with one hand while the other gently brushed the tears off Ri's cheeks. YoungBae tenderly placed his fingers against the maknae's face, slowly prying the swollen eyelids apart to make sure the younger man's eye wasn't bleeding or severely injured.
"Ouch~~~" SeungRi continued wailing dramatically. It hurt, really, but everybody knew that he was also milking the incident for all it was worth and making JiYong feel guilty so the leader would forget what had happened earlier.
"Sorry, I'm sorry," Ji said fearfully and glanced at Youngbae, asking for Ri's status.
"It's red but not bleeding," the oldest man said, sounding relieved. "Can you see anything, Maknae? How many fingers am I holding up?" YoungBae asked, sticking two fingers in a v sign.
"20," SeungRi replied playfully, ending the the two older men's worrying and making them chuckle in relief.
"Aish!" Youngbae grinned and gently flicked SeungRi's nose. The older singer did his best to hide how adorable he found the moment.
SeungRi rubbed his nose and pouted. "I'm sorry," the maknae mumbled, eyes focused on the ceiling.
"No, don't worry, my foot's not broken...." JiYong replied and glanced up at his foot, wiggling it. "Besides, I did play a mean trick to get you out of there," he admitted.
"No..." SeungRi's eyes were still fixated on the ceiling as he spoke. "Well, yeah... I am sorry about your foot, Hyung, but no matter how sorry I am, I can't pretend to be DaeSung-hyung's date. I-I just can't."
SeungRi sat up and leaned against the wall as the two other men listened to him intently, both sitting Indian-style. SeungRi took a deep breath and bit the inside of his cheek before trying to explain things to his hyungs. "I know it's just a favor, eat and go... but I don't think I can do it. You both know that I'm still awkard around Daesung-hyung. I didn't know how to act normal around him when I was a guy, how would it be now?! It's not just me I'm concerned about either, more so about him. I'm worried that if I go on that date I might be so awkward that I'd mess it up! His ex might figure things out, and worse, not only would she figure out that Bigbang's Seungri is a girl right now, she'd find out how DaeSung-hyung lied about having moved on," SeungRi sighed. He looked to the two other men to see that YoungBae's head was down and JiYong was looking straight at him. "I just can't do it," he reiterated.
Bae massaged the back of his neck and JiYong pouted. "Well now what?"
"We can dress up YoungBae, he'd look like a cute girl," JiYong joked, earning a death glare from his bestie. "What? You could pull it off! Remember Dirty Cash?"
"Yuck! Please don't remind me of that!" YoungBae cried, falling onto his back and rolling from side to side. He covered his ears and sang loudly, trying to block out his friend's words because he didn't want to hear them as SeungRi and JiYong reminisced about his angelic features as a girl. "Stop!" he yelled then covered the two other men's mouth. "Let's be serious here. We promised Daesung a date, now who's gonna go with him?" Bae interjected, desperate to change the subject.
"I don't have a choice, do I?" JiYong frowned, and when he looked at SeungRi he was met with puppy dog eyes. "Aish, fine, fine! I'll go get my the wig I wore for Secret Garden," he conceded unhappily. "You guys better pray that DaeSung's ex-girlfriend doesn't try to talk to me or we're all screwed!"
As bedtime approached JiYong yelled in frustration as YoungBae took it upon himself to fix their bedding.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" JiYong walked into his room and was surprised to see two futons set up on the floor, YoungBae casually lying on the one nearer to the bed while reading something. YoungBae put down his book and raised an eyebrow. "What the hell is this?!" JiYong cried and kicked the second futon.
"Futons." YoungBae answered flatly.
"I know what a futon is! But why?!" JiYong asked, still confused.
"Ahh, I'm finally freshened up and it's 2:45 AM already! Man!" SeungRi exclaimed as he entered the room, filling YoungBae's nostrils with the scent of strawberry. The eldest of the three scrunched up his nose, trying to ignore it and force himself to act normal. "Whoa! What's with the new set up?" SeungRi inquired, standing beside the leader.
Bae sat up, took a deep breath and launched into his explanation. "Futons. You, SeungRi, will sleep on the bed while Ji and I sleep on the futons on the floor." YoungBae patted the futon beside him, indicating that it was intended for Jiyong.
"No way! Yay~!" SeungRi grinned as he jumped onto the bed and rolled from side to side."So big and so fun! So comfy!"
"Wait! I didn't agree to this! What's going on?!" the leader protested.
"Well, SeungRi's a girl, and he needs a comfortable bed. Since he can't sleep alone, being gentlemen that we are, JiYong, we are sleeping on the floor. You never sleep in the same bed with a girl unless she's the one you're going to marry," YoungBae explained bluntly.
"What the fuck are you talking about?! What is that?! I've been sleeping beside Maknae for two nights already and nothing has happened!" JiYong picked up his pillow, determined to get back onto his bed, but YoungBae grabbed his wrist and gripped it firmly.
"And in those two nights... how many times did you take a cold shower?" YoungBae whispered.
JiYong went pale and gulped nervously, as though something was stuck in his throat. YoungBae gave him a knowing smirk and continued.
"That's exactly why," YoungBae pulled JiYong on the futon, "you sleep here... with me. Goodnight, SeungRi!" YoungBae called, patting the bed to get the maknae's attention. Nobody replied, so the two men turned to face the body on the bed. SeungRi rolled over, revealing that he was sleeping soundly. Ji and Bae found themselves breathless as they stared at the angelic sight, but YoungBae quickly snapped out of it. He pinched his nose and gently slapped JiYong's face to bring the other boy back to reality. "Goodnight," YoungBae said again before his gaze moved to the bed. JiYong shook his head a couple of times before nodding and trying to sleep quietly... If only he could forget SeungRi's sleeping face.