Who's Your Daddy? - my second fanfiction!
Finally! I secretly had vowed to myself that I would write another fanfiction within one year, after my first attempt exactly a year ago. So here we go with keeping promises!
Many thanks to silent_snark and wanderlonely, who constantly bugged encouraged me to write fanfiction again. This one is for you. ♥
Title: Who's Your Daddy?
Author: me (of course, it's my journal after all) ;)
Fandom/Pairing: House M.D., House/Cuddy (sort of)
Characters: James Wilson, Lisa Cuddy, Gregory House and... Cuddy's mom
Rating: G (probably)
Category: General/Humor, one shot
Disclaimer: I don't own House M.D. or any of the characters
Summary/Annotation: A baby shower and an "unexpected" guest. Since this story completely ignores the story arc of Cuddy's recent attempts at adopting, this story is kind of AU. Not to be taken seriously at all. ;)
Dr. James Wilson was meticulously checking on the perfectly arranged plates with the most fancy foods Princeton's finest catering service had delivered earlier. He felt the need to make sure everything was well-prepared for the impending run on the buffet.
Wilson had spared no expense to host the baby shower for his long time friend and boss Lisa Cuddy who was expecting her first baby. To say she was a happy mommy-to-be would be the understatement of the year. After all the trouble and heartbreaks of her failed attempts to conceive by means of IVF a few years ago, it came as a complete surprise when she told him one day that she was twelve weeks pregnant and this time everything looked perfectly fine so far. The dazzling smile on her face had been so radiant that he couldn't help saying "Mazel Tov" immediately, even if he was still struggling to hide his shock about this development.
The months to follow had shown him what the phrase about pregnant women "glowing" actually meant. He had never seen Cuddy more vibrant and alive than during her pregnancy, proudly smiling at her constantly expanding belly and protectively caressing it when she thought no one was looking. Not even House's most outlandish comments about the visual profits of "the funbags' impending participation in the diary production" could wipe that happiness from her face. On the contrary, Wilson could swear that there was an additional glow in her eyes and the corners of her mouth just raised that tiny bit higher whenever House was around to mock any of the pregnancy related changes in her body.
Of course the unanswered question about the father's identity had caused the rumor mill at PPTH to go into overdrive. As annoying as some of the more ridiculous theories had been, overall Wilson was mostly amused about what kind of explanations some staff members had come up with. In the end he couldn't resist to enter some money into Chase's betting pool; not that Cuddy needed to know about that!
Many a times Wilson was left amazed about Cuddy's diplomatic skills, her ability to dodge any personal questions and negate most theories without actually denying any of them. The way she professionally handled the inquisition about "ruining a reputation", started by some of the more conservative Board members, only increased his admiration for Cuddy.
Unfortunately for Wilson, House's evading skills were just as good as Cuddy's, if not better. No matter what he tried to find out, if House had taken a hand (or any other body part) in getting Cuddy pregnant, he just couldn't wheedle it out of the diagnostician.
All these things didn't matter today, though. Wilson was determined to give the mommy-to-be the best baby shower anyone in Princeton has ever had. Since Cuddy was going to be a single mom, there were no maid of honor or bridesmaids from a wedding to host this event and therefore it wasn't really surprising that Wilson had offered to do it. Leave it to House to make the most ridiculous jokes about Wilson being the best girlfriend anyone could wish for...
Wilson was well aware of the Jewish tradition that nothing may be bought for a baby before it was born, but he had agreed with Cuddy to ignore that rule and hold a baby shower with gifts for the unborn instead. Wilson couldn't wait to give Cuddy the oversized stuffed duck he had spontaneously bought for the baby a few months ago.
Being the caring perfectionist he was, he had spent the last hours scurrying around making sure everyone was happy and so far everything was running smoothly. He had received many compliments (and a proposal from one of the nurses who clearly had had too much to drink) for the great party. Cuddy seemed to enjoy herself among her family, friends and co-workers and Wilson dutifully managed to keep her mom engaged in some conversation whenever he could, just like Cuddy had asked him to do. This task wasn't made any easier by the fact that Mrs. Cuddy kept pestering him about the father's identity, more than once hinting that she would have been delighted had her daughter gotten married to a decent Jewish doctor like himself.
The only thing that didn't seem to work out so far was their attempt to get House to attend the baby shower. For some reason it seemed to be really important to Cuddy to have House there, but Wilson had known that simply asking House to show up was a lost case, even with the additional bribe of free drinks and food. So he had told his best friend that he wasn't invited at all when House once again kept lamenting about the horror of brainless morons cooing over cutsie baby supplies and playing ridiculous games like baby shower bingo. Wilson could barely hide his amusement about House's suspicious face upon being told that he wasn't invited for the party. Nevertheless Wilson was still hoping that his attempt at reverse psychology would work; every time someone arrived, he silently hoped it would be House.
Wilson could tell that Cuddy wasn't completely at ease by the way her smile slipped a little bit when she thought no one was looking and let her eyes wander over the crowd. He silently cursed House for being the contrary bastard he was. He had been so sure that uninviting House would be the most foolproof way to make him show up.
No one else among the guests could understand Wilson's and Cuddy's relief and excitement when they finally heard the tell-tale roaring of a motorcycle coming to a stop in front of the building. No one was really surprised when House finally made an appearance, looking as disheveled as ever, wearing a pair of colorful sneakers and some worn jeans, not even bothering to remove his RTAI jacket before heading straight to the buffet.
Since Wilson was busy feigning interest about some of the most boring family stories Mrs. Cuddy was currently telling him, he only nodded once in his friend's direction, carefully avoiding to draw any of Mrs. Cuddy's attention towards the man who looked ridiculously out of place among the other guests. He watched Cuddy approaching House out of the corners of his eyes, but unfortunately he couldn't understand what they were saying. It wasn't hard to imagine Cuddy pretending to be annoyed about his appearance without actually hearing her, though.
Wilson could only shake his head when House started to wolf down a large plate of delectable food after Cuddy had been dragged away by a bunch of nurses for yet another round of baby related chit-chat. Somehow Wilson couldn't shake this uneasy feeling upon seeing the smirk and that special glint in his best friend's eyes as the diagnostician kept assessing the crowd. Finally House settled his eyes on Wilson and the older woman he was standing with. The moment Wilson saw his friend's smirk turning into a devilish grin he knew that he must have deduced who the woman was. His suspicion was confirmed as soon as House started to limp towards them, obviously enjoying the look of panic that must have crossed Wilson's face.
Without further ado House just cheerfully exclaimed "Hi, you must be the proud Grandma-to be!", a sickly sweet smile firmly in place, while he offered his hand to Mrs. Cuddy. She just stared incredulously at the man who apparently hadn't even made the effort of shaving or choosing decent clothing for the occasion. Nevertheless she was set on showing her best manners to this... bedraggled maverick. So she took the offered hand, albeit reluctantly, immediately regretting her politeness when House shook it so enthusiastically that a considerable amount of champagne spilled from the glass in her other hand.
While Wilson was desperately raking his brain about the best way of damage control, Mrs. Cuddy asked House "And you are...?" with the most icy tone she could muster, not buying this ill-bred jerk's innocent act for a second. House answered with his most sincere fake pleasant look "Oh, so nice of you to ask...", still not giving his identity away. Wilson had a bad feeling when House started to shrug off his RTAI jacket, but none of his worst case scenarios did even come close to seeing the black bold imprint on House's light blue shirt or the evil grin upon saying "This should answer your question."
Before Wilson even got a chance to say anything himself, he had to catch Mrs. Cuddy whose eyes had rolled back into her head only seconds before she fainted. Even after he had successfully prevented Cuddy's poor mom from hitting the floor, he couldn't stop staring wide-eyed at the words on House's shirt:
The Impregnator
Finis
The shirt can be found here, if you want to take a look yourself.
P.S.: I still don't like Valentine's Day, even if I love you all! ;)
♥ ♥ ♥
Many thanks to silent_snark and wanderlonely, who constantly bugged encouraged me to write fanfiction again. This one is for you. ♥
Title: Who's Your Daddy?
Author: me (of course, it's my journal after all) ;)
Fandom/Pairing: House M.D., House/Cuddy (sort of)
Characters: James Wilson, Lisa Cuddy, Gregory House and... Cuddy's mom
Rating: G (probably)
Category: General/Humor, one shot
Disclaimer: I don't own House M.D. or any of the characters
Summary/Annotation: A baby shower and an "unexpected" guest. Since this story completely ignores the story arc of Cuddy's recent attempts at adopting, this story is kind of AU. Not to be taken seriously at all. ;)
Dr. James Wilson was meticulously checking on the perfectly arranged plates with the most fancy foods Princeton's finest catering service had delivered earlier. He felt the need to make sure everything was well-prepared for the impending run on the buffet.
Wilson had spared no expense to host the baby shower for his long time friend and boss Lisa Cuddy who was expecting her first baby. To say she was a happy mommy-to-be would be the understatement of the year. After all the trouble and heartbreaks of her failed attempts to conceive by means of IVF a few years ago, it came as a complete surprise when she told him one day that she was twelve weeks pregnant and this time everything looked perfectly fine so far. The dazzling smile on her face had been so radiant that he couldn't help saying "Mazel Tov" immediately, even if he was still struggling to hide his shock about this development.
The months to follow had shown him what the phrase about pregnant women "glowing" actually meant. He had never seen Cuddy more vibrant and alive than during her pregnancy, proudly smiling at her constantly expanding belly and protectively caressing it when she thought no one was looking. Not even House's most outlandish comments about the visual profits of "the funbags' impending participation in the diary production" could wipe that happiness from her face. On the contrary, Wilson could swear that there was an additional glow in her eyes and the corners of her mouth just raised that tiny bit higher whenever House was around to mock any of the pregnancy related changes in her body.
Of course the unanswered question about the father's identity had caused the rumor mill at PPTH to go into overdrive. As annoying as some of the more ridiculous theories had been, overall Wilson was mostly amused about what kind of explanations some staff members had come up with. In the end he couldn't resist to enter some money into Chase's betting pool; not that Cuddy needed to know about that!
Many a times Wilson was left amazed about Cuddy's diplomatic skills, her ability to dodge any personal questions and negate most theories without actually denying any of them. The way she professionally handled the inquisition about "ruining a reputation", started by some of the more conservative Board members, only increased his admiration for Cuddy.
Unfortunately for Wilson, House's evading skills were just as good as Cuddy's, if not better. No matter what he tried to find out, if House had taken a hand (or any other body part) in getting Cuddy pregnant, he just couldn't wheedle it out of the diagnostician.
All these things didn't matter today, though. Wilson was determined to give the mommy-to-be the best baby shower anyone in Princeton has ever had. Since Cuddy was going to be a single mom, there were no maid of honor or bridesmaids from a wedding to host this event and therefore it wasn't really surprising that Wilson had offered to do it. Leave it to House to make the most ridiculous jokes about Wilson being the best girlfriend anyone could wish for...
Wilson was well aware of the Jewish tradition that nothing may be bought for a baby before it was born, but he had agreed with Cuddy to ignore that rule and hold a baby shower with gifts for the unborn instead. Wilson couldn't wait to give Cuddy the oversized stuffed duck he had spontaneously bought for the baby a few months ago.
Being the caring perfectionist he was, he had spent the last hours scurrying around making sure everyone was happy and so far everything was running smoothly. He had received many compliments (and a proposal from one of the nurses who clearly had had too much to drink) for the great party. Cuddy seemed to enjoy herself among her family, friends and co-workers and Wilson dutifully managed to keep her mom engaged in some conversation whenever he could, just like Cuddy had asked him to do. This task wasn't made any easier by the fact that Mrs. Cuddy kept pestering him about the father's identity, more than once hinting that she would have been delighted had her daughter gotten married to a decent Jewish doctor like himself.
The only thing that didn't seem to work out so far was their attempt to get House to attend the baby shower. For some reason it seemed to be really important to Cuddy to have House there, but Wilson had known that simply asking House to show up was a lost case, even with the additional bribe of free drinks and food. So he had told his best friend that he wasn't invited at all when House once again kept lamenting about the horror of brainless morons cooing over cutsie baby supplies and playing ridiculous games like baby shower bingo. Wilson could barely hide his amusement about House's suspicious face upon being told that he wasn't invited for the party. Nevertheless Wilson was still hoping that his attempt at reverse psychology would work; every time someone arrived, he silently hoped it would be House.
Wilson could tell that Cuddy wasn't completely at ease by the way her smile slipped a little bit when she thought no one was looking and let her eyes wander over the crowd. He silently cursed House for being the contrary bastard he was. He had been so sure that uninviting House would be the most foolproof way to make him show up.
No one else among the guests could understand Wilson's and Cuddy's relief and excitement when they finally heard the tell-tale roaring of a motorcycle coming to a stop in front of the building. No one was really surprised when House finally made an appearance, looking as disheveled as ever, wearing a pair of colorful sneakers and some worn jeans, not even bothering to remove his RTAI jacket before heading straight to the buffet.
Since Wilson was busy feigning interest about some of the most boring family stories Mrs. Cuddy was currently telling him, he only nodded once in his friend's direction, carefully avoiding to draw any of Mrs. Cuddy's attention towards the man who looked ridiculously out of place among the other guests. He watched Cuddy approaching House out of the corners of his eyes, but unfortunately he couldn't understand what they were saying. It wasn't hard to imagine Cuddy pretending to be annoyed about his appearance without actually hearing her, though.
Wilson could only shake his head when House started to wolf down a large plate of delectable food after Cuddy had been dragged away by a bunch of nurses for yet another round of baby related chit-chat. Somehow Wilson couldn't shake this uneasy feeling upon seeing the smirk and that special glint in his best friend's eyes as the diagnostician kept assessing the crowd. Finally House settled his eyes on Wilson and the older woman he was standing with. The moment Wilson saw his friend's smirk turning into a devilish grin he knew that he must have deduced who the woman was. His suspicion was confirmed as soon as House started to limp towards them, obviously enjoying the look of panic that must have crossed Wilson's face.
Without further ado House just cheerfully exclaimed "Hi, you must be the proud Grandma-to be!", a sickly sweet smile firmly in place, while he offered his hand to Mrs. Cuddy. She just stared incredulously at the man who apparently hadn't even made the effort of shaving or choosing decent clothing for the occasion. Nevertheless she was set on showing her best manners to this... bedraggled maverick. So she took the offered hand, albeit reluctantly, immediately regretting her politeness when House shook it so enthusiastically that a considerable amount of champagne spilled from the glass in her other hand.
While Wilson was desperately raking his brain about the best way of damage control, Mrs. Cuddy asked House "And you are...?" with the most icy tone she could muster, not buying this ill-bred jerk's innocent act for a second. House answered with his most sincere fake pleasant look "Oh, so nice of you to ask...", still not giving his identity away. Wilson had a bad feeling when House started to shrug off his RTAI jacket, but none of his worst case scenarios did even come close to seeing the black bold imprint on House's light blue shirt or the evil grin upon saying "This should answer your question."
Before Wilson even got a chance to say anything himself, he had to catch Mrs. Cuddy whose eyes had rolled back into her head only seconds before she fainted. Even after he had successfully prevented Cuddy's poor mom from hitting the floor, he couldn't stop staring wide-eyed at the words on House's shirt:
The Impregnator
Finis
The shirt can be found here, if you want to take a look yourself.
P.S.: I still don't like Valentine's Day, even if I love you all! ;)
♥ ♥ ♥