Second Sight

[epsilonlessthan]

Who: The Heretic and The Priest
When: The twenty-fifth of June, Early Morning
Where: Ion's Chapel for the Lost and the Damned (with Money)
What: Oh. My. God.

Comments

[amar_dulce_vin]

"God forgives all sins, even fourteen thousand two hundred and five days without contrition for sin," Ion spoke in a monotone, examining his nails and digging dirt from beneath them with a prayer pamphlet from the other side of the grille separating him from his confessor. He purposefully did not say that he personally would forgive so long without confession (and thereby without tithes) or smoking on hallowed ground.

...actual priest or not, smoking in a church was just crass.

"It goes like this. You make the sign of the cross and say 'Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been fourteen thousand two hundred and five days since my last confession. I accuse myself of the following sins.' And then you go on and list out all the little sordid details of your life

[epsilonlessthan]

Which he learned quite quickly was altogether a necessity for the continuation of the human species; that the world would have been done a favor if the man's repentance was to throw himself into the ocean or in front of a carriage. He'd emitted a peculiar sound which seemed to Ion initially to be some form of surprise but was, as the fool continued on, a bray of joy.

"Yes, exactly right. They say God is an architect and what is an architect without calculation? Mathematics is the language of the universe, yes? It's unfortunate that so few in this city retain the knowledge of how to decipher its complexities, however-"

The constant drumming ceased for a snap of fingers before resuming. "Let's see...Forgive me father, Et cetera, Et cetera... I have been an accessory of murder an estimated fifty-thousand instances over the span of nine years. I have blasphemed at least eight times that amount... I have- Hm. Is this particular branch of faith still practicing the cardinal seven?"

[amar_dulce_vin]

"You should thank that God you blaspheme that this confession is anonymous or I would've called for the police already. Fifty thousand murders accounts to approximately three thousand six hundred and fifty days of jail time per count and so that would bring your tally around to...one hundred and eighty two million five hundred thousand days of prison sentence. I don't think you have that long, so you clearly won't be serving your earthly penance. As for your other sins, you still have a few to cover. Let us start with Pride and from there, Envy, Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Greed, and we will tie it all together with Lust."

Besides, all such confessions usually stemmed from Lust. How often had he heard it? 'Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I committed a crime of passion for I gave in to Lust.'

It was becoming boring. It already was. He wasn't even a real priest.

He wasn't even religious....however, fifty thousand was a far larger number than he was accustomed to. It might provide him a bit of entertainment to hear an anonymous

[epsilonlessthan]

"Oh no no, you misinterpret- I was only indirectly involved with the crimes. I've never tried my hand at the act itself, merely supplied the means so my sentence, as it were, should- by current court rulings- be significantly less that sum, being if-"

Herein, the man gave another pause, presumably to readdress Ion's calculations with the appropriate variables.

Once again, approximately three fourths of a minute later, he was proven mistaken via the abrupt, fatalistic rip at his ear and the introduction of a blade quite rudely thrust a scant few millimeters from his cheek.