RTMD: Harry Potter: Our Favorite Mary Sue
Chapter 9: Harry Potter: Our Favorite Mary Sue
Chapter Summary: We say we hate them, but sometimes we read them.
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and her minions own everything related to Harry Potter and his magical world. This paltry piece of Potterotica is out of my own demented mind.
Harry turned to his lifelong best friend forever, fellow Gryffindor, Lolafalola, and asked in the most sincere and honest voice he had, “Lola, you are the smartest and the most beautiful girl I have ever met. Since you’ve entered my bleak, orphaned, loveless life, I have felt as if I have truly found my soul mate. You understand me in away that I don’t think even Ron or Hermione do.
“Your opinion and every word uttered from your precious mouth are the sun and moon that I guide my life. What do you think I should do? Should I stay here, in the safety of Hogwarts protective walls to finish my education and remain an angry, misguided adolescent or should I take a major step into adulthood and do the right thing by facing Voldemort once and for all?”
Lola was silent and pensive for a moment and gave Harry a sly smile, which her male companion mistook as sexual flirtation. He smiled shyly back at her and then leaned into her for a kiss.
In shock, she took a step back and placed her fingertips on his mouth. Then she began to speak addressing his questioning look.
“Look, Harry, you’re a really great fellow and just about anybody who reads these books would be totally enamored to have you kiss them, but I’m afraid that’s not why I’m here.”
When Harry’s look became even more baffled, she continued.
“Harry, you are a sweet young man, but I didn’t become a fictional character, acquire the ability to do magic, travel to England, enroll at Hogwarts in the same year and house as you, force myself into print, and bend all sorts of rules concerning time, matter, space, and simple logistics just so that you could lean down and kiss me.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong. You’re hot as fuck, but I really came here so that I could watch the action that happens between you and Draco. I want to see you make out like a couple of horny teenagers. Hell, I’d love to see you have sex, fuck, make love, or whatever you want to call it. If it’s incredible to read, I can’t imagine how terrific it must be to watch it live.”
She looked at him and gave him a wink wink, nudge nudge.
His eyes went wide and he seemed rather startled. He was in a state of shock when he said, “Are you talking about the Slytherin, Draco Malfoy? Pull the other one, Lola.
“He’s my teenage, school nemesis. Why in the world would I want to kiss him? Besides, I don’t bend that way. I mean I’m straight.”
Just then, Draco came riding into the room on a magic carpet, which was floating eight feet above the ground. His long blond hair was braided all the way down and off the edge of the carpet almost acting as dangling rope.
Lola pushed Harry toward the moving carpet gliding in circles above them. As she bounced on the balls of her feet, her excited and widened eyes glistened with the prospect of what was to come. Alarmingly, at that moment in time, she seemed to look like a taller, fatter version of Dobby.
“Harry, now’s your chance! I want you to grab on to Draco’s hair, pull yourself up, and climb on that magic carpet and kiss him. I’m sure once you do, you’ll realize that all this aggression, fighting, and stalking of each other has not been the result of a six year schoolboy rivalry so much as pent up sexual tension between the two of you. Go ahead, if you miss your chance, you’ll regret it forever!”
With a look of slight nausea, Harry simultaneously reached out to grab the braid of hair and turned back to look at Lolafalola. “Lola, are you sure this is the best thing for me to do? This really seems out of character for me. Am I doing the right thing?”
Lola smiled her most charming smile, and clasped her hands together almost as if in prayer. She looked at the two of them together, as it should be, and began to wave to them good-bye. The two young men looked at each other hesitantly and then leaned in together for a soft and gentle kiss. It seemed as if a spark generated between their slightly separated lips as each one realized he had found his true soul mate.
“Of course you are, Harry, not only am I the fourth wall, but I’m the writer as well. If I think this is in your best interest then, of course, it will be the write thing to do!”
Just Another Magical Creature Inheritance
Master RTMD List
Chapter Summary: We say we hate them, but sometimes we read them.
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and her minions own everything related to Harry Potter and his magical world. This paltry piece of Potterotica is out of my own demented mind.
Harry turned to his lifelong best friend forever, fellow Gryffindor, Lolafalola, and asked in the most sincere and honest voice he had, “Lola, you are the smartest and the most beautiful girl I have ever met. Since you’ve entered my bleak, orphaned, loveless life, I have felt as if I have truly found my soul mate. You understand me in away that I don’t think even Ron or Hermione do.
“Your opinion and every word uttered from your precious mouth are the sun and moon that I guide my life. What do you think I should do? Should I stay here, in the safety of Hogwarts protective walls to finish my education and remain an angry, misguided adolescent or should I take a major step into adulthood and do the right thing by facing Voldemort once and for all?”
Lola was silent and pensive for a moment and gave Harry a sly smile, which her male companion mistook as sexual flirtation. He smiled shyly back at her and then leaned into her for a kiss.
In shock, she took a step back and placed her fingertips on his mouth. Then she began to speak addressing his questioning look.
“Look, Harry, you’re a really great fellow and just about anybody who reads these books would be totally enamored to have you kiss them, but I’m afraid that’s not why I’m here.”
When Harry’s look became even more baffled, she continued.
“Harry, you are a sweet young man, but I didn’t become a fictional character, acquire the ability to do magic, travel to England, enroll at Hogwarts in the same year and house as you, force myself into print, and bend all sorts of rules concerning time, matter, space, and simple logistics just so that you could lean down and kiss me.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong. You’re hot as fuck, but I really came here so that I could watch the action that happens between you and Draco. I want to see you make out like a couple of horny teenagers. Hell, I’d love to see you have sex, fuck, make love, or whatever you want to call it. If it’s incredible to read, I can’t imagine how terrific it must be to watch it live.”
She looked at him and gave him a wink wink, nudge nudge.
His eyes went wide and he seemed rather startled. He was in a state of shock when he said, “Are you talking about the Slytherin, Draco Malfoy? Pull the other one, Lola.
“He’s my teenage, school nemesis. Why in the world would I want to kiss him? Besides, I don’t bend that way. I mean I’m straight.”
Just then, Draco came riding into the room on a magic carpet, which was floating eight feet above the ground. His long blond hair was braided all the way down and off the edge of the carpet almost acting as dangling rope.
Lola pushed Harry toward the moving carpet gliding in circles above them. As she bounced on the balls of her feet, her excited and widened eyes glistened with the prospect of what was to come. Alarmingly, at that moment in time, she seemed to look like a taller, fatter version of Dobby.
“Harry, now’s your chance! I want you to grab on to Draco’s hair, pull yourself up, and climb on that magic carpet and kiss him. I’m sure once you do, you’ll realize that all this aggression, fighting, and stalking of each other has not been the result of a six year schoolboy rivalry so much as pent up sexual tension between the two of you. Go ahead, if you miss your chance, you’ll regret it forever!”
With a look of slight nausea, Harry simultaneously reached out to grab the braid of hair and turned back to look at Lolafalola. “Lola, are you sure this is the best thing for me to do? This really seems out of character for me. Am I doing the right thing?”
Lola smiled her most charming smile, and clasped her hands together almost as if in prayer. She looked at the two of them together, as it should be, and began to wave to them good-bye. The two young men looked at each other hesitantly and then leaned in together for a soft and gentle kiss. It seemed as if a spark generated between their slightly separated lips as each one realized he had found his true soul mate.
“Of course you are, Harry, not only am I the fourth wall, but I’m the writer as well. If I think this is in your best interest then, of course, it will be the write thing to do!”
Just Another Magical Creature Inheritance
Master RTMD List