RTMD: The Illicit Tales of Beedle the Bard, Part I
Chapter 7: The Illicit Tales of Beedle the Bard, Part I
Chapter Summary: This is a parody, although, not about the stories, per se. Some of you may not understand it, but I hope some of you think it's funny.
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and her minions own everything related to Harry Potter and his magical world. This paltry piece of Potterotica is out of my own demented mind.
Author’s Note: My special thanks to my dear friend, MystressXOXO, for reviewing, betaing, and laughing at this with me.
Harry arrived at their flat first. He was thoroughly exhausted from the day’s training exercises. The only thing that made it better than previous training days was the fact that he was now the instructor instead of the student. It felt like he was in the DA all over again, only it was much more intense, and the recovery from the curses took longer. God, he was getting old.
He looked out of the kitchen window and noticed that there had been a series of mail deliveries into their owl drop box. One of them was a package wrapped in plain brown paper. It was rectangular in shape and addressed to him from a wizard publishing house he ordered from. As he reached out for the package, ignoring all the other deliveries, his hands were shaking, and his mouth was watering in anticipation. He knew what was in the package, and he couldn’t wait to open it and start reading it.
It was the latest in a series of books. The series was called, “The Illicit Tales of Beedle the Bard”. This book was volume thirty-seven, and was called “The Leather Bound Issue!” Just the title of the book alone made Harry’s cock begin to harden as he started to just imagine what stories, descriptions, details, and illustrations lay within. He almost wanted to tear the book open and devour each and every tale with total abandon. However, he decided it was also fun to draw out the pleasure of reading them and spending some ‘alone-time’ in the process.
He knew that Draco wouldn’t be home for another hour or so and decided it was best to start reading this latest series of stories while soaking in a nice hot bath, easing his tired muscles from the long grueling day.
After he finished drawing the bath, the fragrant smells from the bath oils he had added began soothing some of his senses. Harry then slipped into the large tub and let the warmth of the water ease the tension in his muscles. He leaned his head back and just relaxed, enjoying the bath, and basked in the sensations that it provided.
Then, when he was ready, he decided it was time and pulled the book out from under a nearby towel, and began to read. The first story proved to be worth the wait it took for this latest edition to come out. It was about his favorite pairing from the story, “The Warlock’s Hairy Heart”.
This story was similar to the original story only in that the character names and general descriptions were the same. That, though, was where all similarities ended.
In the Illicit Tales version of the stories, the characters, the warlock and his witch, were far more adult, far more daring, and far more sexual than anything old Beedle ever originally thought up. These stories were from anonymous, unknown authors, with outrageous pseudonyms, who took the tales on a highly erotic adventure filled with details that made Harry feel all tingly inside.
As he got into the more graphic nature of this story, he couldn’t help but hold the book in his left hand as his right hand began to travel down his body. Slowly, he started caressing his own hairy chest, tweaking his erect nipples as his fingers grazed their way down his chest and stomach to settle around his now very hard and aching erection. Without even realizing it, he moaned into the wonderful feeling of his hand wrapped around his cock while his eyes stayed glued to the text.
His hand began to move up and down his throbbing cock faster and faster, occasionally twisting the head as he tried to time his own climax with the pace of his reading and the upcoming climax of the couple in the book. He was getting close, so close, and it was going to be a photo finish. When he was a few seconds away from completion, he faltered when he heard a sound coming from somewhere else in the house.
“Harry, are you home? I got out of work a bit early and thought I’d surprise you.”
The Illicit Tales of Beedle the Bard, Part 2
Master RTMD List
Chapter Summary: This is a parody, although, not about the stories, per se. Some of you may not understand it, but I hope some of you think it's funny.
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and her minions own everything related to Harry Potter and his magical world. This paltry piece of Potterotica is out of my own demented mind.
Author’s Note: My special thanks to my dear friend, MystressXOXO, for reviewing, betaing, and laughing at this with me.
Harry arrived at their flat first. He was thoroughly exhausted from the day’s training exercises. The only thing that made it better than previous training days was the fact that he was now the instructor instead of the student. It felt like he was in the DA all over again, only it was much more intense, and the recovery from the curses took longer. God, he was getting old.
He looked out of the kitchen window and noticed that there had been a series of mail deliveries into their owl drop box. One of them was a package wrapped in plain brown paper. It was rectangular in shape and addressed to him from a wizard publishing house he ordered from. As he reached out for the package, ignoring all the other deliveries, his hands were shaking, and his mouth was watering in anticipation. He knew what was in the package, and he couldn’t wait to open it and start reading it.
It was the latest in a series of books. The series was called, “The Illicit Tales of Beedle the Bard”. This book was volume thirty-seven, and was called “The Leather Bound Issue!” Just the title of the book alone made Harry’s cock begin to harden as he started to just imagine what stories, descriptions, details, and illustrations lay within. He almost wanted to tear the book open and devour each and every tale with total abandon. However, he decided it was also fun to draw out the pleasure of reading them and spending some ‘alone-time’ in the process.
He knew that Draco wouldn’t be home for another hour or so and decided it was best to start reading this latest series of stories while soaking in a nice hot bath, easing his tired muscles from the long grueling day.
After he finished drawing the bath, the fragrant smells from the bath oils he had added began soothing some of his senses. Harry then slipped into the large tub and let the warmth of the water ease the tension in his muscles. He leaned his head back and just relaxed, enjoying the bath, and basked in the sensations that it provided.
Then, when he was ready, he decided it was time and pulled the book out from under a nearby towel, and began to read. The first story proved to be worth the wait it took for this latest edition to come out. It was about his favorite pairing from the story, “The Warlock’s Hairy Heart”.
This story was similar to the original story only in that the character names and general descriptions were the same. That, though, was where all similarities ended.
In the Illicit Tales version of the stories, the characters, the warlock and his witch, were far more adult, far more daring, and far more sexual than anything old Beedle ever originally thought up. These stories were from anonymous, unknown authors, with outrageous pseudonyms, who took the tales on a highly erotic adventure filled with details that made Harry feel all tingly inside.
As he got into the more graphic nature of this story, he couldn’t help but hold the book in his left hand as his right hand began to travel down his body. Slowly, he started caressing his own hairy chest, tweaking his erect nipples as his fingers grazed their way down his chest and stomach to settle around his now very hard and aching erection. Without even realizing it, he moaned into the wonderful feeling of his hand wrapped around his cock while his eyes stayed glued to the text.
His hand began to move up and down his throbbing cock faster and faster, occasionally twisting the head as he tried to time his own climax with the pace of his reading and the upcoming climax of the couple in the book. He was getting close, so close, and it was going to be a photo finish. When he was a few seconds away from completion, he faltered when he heard a sound coming from somewhere else in the house.
“Harry, are you home? I got out of work a bit early and thought I’d surprise you.”
The Illicit Tales of Beedle the Bard, Part 2
Master RTMD List