Yes, there are too many lyrics I want to quote back at you right now. But you aren't alone <3
You were, I was really happy you had someone there. The worst is when you think someone is certain things and then it just reveals more and more that actually really no.
Aw, I'm sorry. So frustrating and upsetting. I can relate, not from things that have happened to me in the states, but from when I was teaching in Africa, and just as closeted about being an atheist as about being queer. (Not that you are closeted, but that feeling of how the friendship only works if you hold yourself in… so how real is it?)
What is wrong with your school that they don't realize that INTER-CULTURAL means not shoving religious holidays at people?
As for A, it's hard to tell from your description if she would be talking about guys so much anyway or if she was just trying to keep broadcasting "I'm straight and you can be too!"
Thanks. Yeah, that combination of "frustrating and upsetting" is especially killer.
when I was teaching in Africa, and just as closeted about being an atheist as about being queer. (Not that you are closeted, but that feeling of how the friendship only works if you hold yourself in… so how real is it?)
*nodnod* Completely.
What is wrong with your school that they don't realize that INTER-CULTURAL means not shoving religious holidays at people?
RIGHT?? I just. They kept being all "you can talk about eggs and rabbits, we're fine with whatever people believe, it's not about Christianity!" and I was just like "IT IS THE CELEBRATION OF JESUS RISING FROM THE DEAD THERE IS REALLY NO AMBIGUITY HERE." Most of our students are South American, as is my boss S, and this area of London is suuuuuuper super Christian in a way very unusual for the UK, so maybe they just... weren't getting it? The other teachers seemed to share my concern more.
As for A, it's hard to tell from your description if she would be talking about guys so much anyway
( ... )
I thought of another thing this reminded me of, in the unexpected betrayal dept. - going to a conference in the 1980's to hear a talk on this 17th century poet, Katherine Philips, who I had been so excited to find when I was coming out. She wrote passionate love poems to women, founded a "Society of Friendship" for her women friends, etc. (Feminism hadn't really come to college English depts. yet when I was in college in the late 70's, so I found her afterwards by reading some of the first feminist anthologies of early women writers.) The talk was a little disappointing because the woman speaking didn't seem to like the poetry very much, and was a bit disparaging/condescending, but then she threw in an aside "but she (Philips) wasn't a *lesbian* or anything" (with that expression of distaste), "she was *married*", and I felt like I'd been slapped
( ... )
OMG :((( That sounds SO SO awful, I'm really sorry. I can just imagine how crushing that would be, especially in the late 70s with allies much harder to come by.
I am totally checking out Katherine Philips now, though!
As for A - sounds like you probably are the first out LGBTQ person she's known to talk to, and this is all a stretch for her too, but like you said she's got the gorilla at her back, and she CHOSE this religion. It does sound like she is very ignorant, so it's quite likely she doesn't know what trans really means, and quite possible that she thinks she needs to discourage you from coming on to her. Sigh, sigh. Good luck.
*nodnod* Speaking to her today she self-corrected - guy was gay not trans, and lives with his partner, which if nothing else makes me less nervous. And yeah, I think if I'm not the first out LGBTQ person she's known, I'm almost certainly the first she's spent this kind of time with - 15 minute breaks together every weekday. I am trying to remind myself to be patient.
That sounded awful. I hate you had to go through that. I don't understand why it's hard to respect others choices. I hope that will change in the future one day.
Thank you. *hugs back* I think it'll be okay, she doesn't seem to feel any need to preach/convert and I think we'll stay friendly. The sense we could become really good friends with trust and stuff has pretty much evaporated, though :(
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This sounds like such an awful, and frustrating situation, I'm so sorry it's gone like this with her. Wish I had more useful to say
<3<3<3
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I'm so sorry it's gone like this with her.
Thanks. Wow. Just, I remember being all YAY I HAVE A WORK FRIEND to you and now... yeah.
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You were, I was really happy you had someone there. The worst is when you think someone is certain things and then it just reveals more and more that actually really no.
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The worst is when you think someone is certain things and then it just reveals more and more that actually really no
TRUTH
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What is wrong with your school that they don't realize that INTER-CULTURAL means not shoving religious holidays at people?
As for A, it's hard to tell from your description if she would be talking about guys so much anyway or if she was just trying to keep broadcasting "I'm straight and you can be too!"
Anyway - sorry you've had to go through this.
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when I was teaching in Africa, and just as closeted about being an atheist as about being queer. (Not that you are closeted, but that feeling of how the friendship only works if you hold yourself in… so how real is it?)
*nodnod* Completely.
What is wrong with your school that they don't realize that INTER-CULTURAL means not shoving religious holidays at people?
RIGHT?? I just. They kept being all "you can talk about eggs and rabbits, we're fine with whatever people believe, it's not about Christianity!" and I was just like "IT IS THE CELEBRATION OF JESUS RISING FROM THE DEAD THERE IS REALLY NO AMBIGUITY HERE." Most of our students are South American, as is my boss S, and this area of London is suuuuuuper super Christian in a way very unusual for the UK, so maybe they just... weren't getting it? The other teachers seemed to share my concern more.
As for A, it's hard to tell from your description if she would be talking about guys so much anyway ( ... )
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I am totally checking out Katherine Philips now, though!
As for A - sounds like you probably are the first out LGBTQ person she's known to talk to, and this is all a stretch for her too, but like you said she's got the gorilla at her back, and she CHOSE this religion. It does sound like she is very ignorant, so it's quite likely she doesn't know what trans really means, and quite possible that she thinks she needs to discourage you from coming on to her. Sigh, sigh. Good luck.
*nodnod* Speaking to her today she self-corrected - guy was gay not trans, and lives with his partner, which if nothing else makes me less nervous. And yeah, I think if I'm not the first out LGBTQ person she's known, I'm almost certainly the first she's spent this kind of time with - 15 minute breaks together every weekday. I am trying to remind myself to be patient.
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This sounds just awful. :(
I'm so sorry.
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That sounded awful. I hate you had to go through that. I don't understand why it's hard to respect others choices. I hope that will change in the future one day.
*hugs*
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