♥ ♥ Wow, your characterization and just mmm you style! I love it!
Only a couple of things (small things) bothered me, and they're not about the writing, just technical details, so I hope you won't mind if I point them out. ^^;
1) Isn't Russia to the north of china? So when Yao says in the beginning to launch missiles south, I couldn't help but think South Asia (Vietnam, Laos, Myanmar, Nepal, India etc). 2) Little typos - since you said this wasn't beta'd - that you might want to quickly edit
He heaves a sigh and thugs at his ponytail>... (That should be 'tugs' right there)
the sunflower is also for haughtiness and arrogant. (That should be 'arrogance')
And that's all! Thanks for writing! I really enjoyed it ♥
I adore you! Thank you!!!!aoi_akaJanuary 7 2010, 16:09:12 UTC
It was worth the wait. This fic is so many shades and flavors of wonderful! I love all the details you put in, the descriptions, what China was thinking and feeling. And oh my god, the rage the man feels after 30 years.
The dragon arrives in less time than possible, considering the thick lines of immobile traffic, and he arrives in sleek human form, encased in a suit.
It makes wicked sense that China has an ultimate boss and it happens to be a dragon.
"Decide what you want to do with these, San Guo, because I don’t interfere with lover’s quarrels.”
>_< A lover's quarrel! China's boss is more perceptive than you'd think. He seems to know exactly what's going on with his little China.
[Ivan] rocks back on his feet and stares at the old kitchen as though he is reliving every memory he ever had in it. His hand tentatively touches cupboards and shelves that have nothing to do with the tea.Why do I get the feeling that they've had hot monkey sex in the kitchen? ^^;; Russia is so cute. It's almost like he's reacquainting himself with
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Re: I adore you! Thank you!!!!aoi_akaJanuary 7 2010, 17:31:14 UTC
Oh and explain to me the thing about the turtles. China almost uses turtles to cuss his boss out and does mention them again when he's yelling at Russia about the sunflowers. I think it's cute!
Oh and China's threat about shoving Russia in the wedding dress and forcing him to marry his sister is cute.
Re: I adore you! Thank you!!!!logical_fishJanuary 8 2010, 02:57:48 UTC
The turtle thing is an insult in China. Saying that you're a turtle's egg, or your mother/father was a turtle, is basically like saying you're a bastard. Baichi does mean stupid in Mandarin.
That was freaking AMAZING. O_O Oh god, the characterization, the flowers, and China's RAGE. You could feel all the emotions just pop off the page! Awesome job, I love the ending about how terrified Russia was and how torn China was. XD Round yellow sunflowers, indeed! I would pay to see that house.
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Only a couple of things (small things) bothered me, and they're not about the writing, just technical details, so I hope you won't mind if I point them out. ^^;
1) Isn't Russia to the north of china? So when Yao says in the beginning to launch missiles south, I couldn't help but think South Asia (Vietnam, Laos, Myanmar, Nepal, India etc).
2) Little typos - since you said this wasn't beta'd - that you might want to quickly edit
He heaves a sigh and thugs at his ponytail>...
(That should be 'tugs' right there)
the sunflower is also for haughtiness and arrogant.
(That should be 'arrogance')
And that's all! Thanks for writing! I really enjoyed it ♥
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Thanks for all the edits.
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The dragon arrives in less time than possible, considering the thick lines of immobile traffic, and he arrives in sleek human form, encased in a suit.
It makes wicked sense that China has an ultimate boss and it happens to be a dragon.
"Decide what you want to do with these, San Guo, because I don’t interfere with lover’s quarrels.”
>_< A lover's quarrel! China's boss is more perceptive than you'd think. He seems to know exactly what's going on with his little China.
[Ivan] rocks back on his feet and stares at the old kitchen as though he is reliving every memory he ever had in it. His hand tentatively touches cupboards and shelves that have nothing to do with the tea.Why do I get the feeling that they've had hot monkey sex in the kitchen? ^^;; Russia is so cute. It's almost like he's reacquainting himself with ( ... )
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Oh and China's threat about shoving Russia in the wedding dress and forcing him to marry his sister is cute.
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I'm so glad you liked it!
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