Harry Potter and the . . .
How has no one but lesstraveled posted a movie review yet? Oh, is it because you all went to bed after seeing it, like sane people? Well, it's 4:30 AM, fuck yeah, and I'm going to talk about Harry Potter. Can you believe I'm only ever going to make two more of these posts? It saddens me but makes me grateful for two movies left, not just one. I will lap up every second I get.
Right up front, let me just say, Order of the Phoenix is and forever will be my favorite, and a lot of the things I loved about HBP do not translate well into the film. That said . . .
THINGS I LOVED:
- I loved Slughorn. Hands down loved him. I was worried, because how can any guest professor actor follow the Umbridge performance? But I just thought he was perfect in pretty much every scene, from his bumbling "You musn't think I'm prejudiced" (or whatever the line is) to him slumped over Hagrid's table, giving in. I loved his awkward interactions with Harry, I adored his "I remember when it was just one broomstick!" and "All hands on deck, Granger!" and I think he got the line between morally reprehensible and bumbling and self-interested and sad all right. I also liked his hourglass to measure the level of conversation.
- For the record, I also got happy creepy chills when he asked Tom how he knew crystallized pineapple was his favorite, and Tom said, "Intuition."
- Draco, Draco, Draco, Draco, Draco, Draco, Draco. Tom Felton, I am so proud of you, how far you have come from your "Scared, Potter?" days. I legit freaked out during Sectumsempra and that scene on the tower with Dumbledore was amazing (though "he'll kill me" holds a little less power than "my family", it falls more into the self-interested Slytherin stereotype, rather than what Narcissa was trying to show in the beginning, the family loyalty bit.) I loved how terrified and "what have I done?" he looked after Snape AK'ed Dumbledore and they were running through the Great Hall. The contrast between his expression and Bellatrix's is brilliant. Also, what Aja said.
- Blaise on the train was pretty awesome.
- LAVENDER BROWN, I LOVE YOU SO BAD. I loved how she was so excited she was practically wriggling in her seat during the Quidditch tryouts. I love her extremely awkward and enthusiastic R+L bit where she breathed on the window and then mouthed "I miss you." She was great. Also, I saw that heart-shaped necklace around Ron's neck, A+ for details there. I appreciate the hell out of that inclusion, just like I freaked out for minutes over the inclusion of goats in the Hog's Head in OotP.
- Luna! I missed "should I dye my eyebrow yellow to match?" but her Christmas tree dress was perfect, as were her comments, and I also appreciated the awkward inclusion of the "It's almost like having friends" conversation. Her lion head was also ridiculously amazing.
- JFC, the Room of Hidden Things. That's one of the bits I always wanted to see turned real and I really, really loved it. All the junk! The atmosphere, like a strange shrine, forgotten and dusty. Except I kept getting all these Secret Garden feelings and the slow music whenever Draco or Harry and Ginny were there really emphasized that. Also, the hell was the tiara on the mannequin by the cabinet? That was always a favorite bit of mine, that they never realized until later, but used it as a marker all the same. But whatever, this is my list of love.
- And speaking of love for junked-up settings, Arthur Weasley's shed! This made me so absurdly pleased. An old printer! A broken record player! Plugs!
- Everything about that Felix Felicitis scene. I was so worried that scene was not going to be included in its full glory, as jaunty, Felixed up Harry is one of my favorite things from HBP, and I AM SO PLEASED IT WAS THERE. "Excellent. Really excellent." "I just feel like it's the place to be tonight, you know what I mean?" HARRY. ILU. THE PINCERS. GOD.
- Snape doing the shh motion before heading up, holy shit, I got chills.
- The Hogwarts train and the dining car, I loved that. Plus the face stomping, dlkfjsdflsidfjsldkf.
- For the record, I also got chills when Harry said, "You said Professor Slughorn would try to collect me. Do you want me to let him?" and Dumbledore said, "Yes." I was torn between chills and laughter when Harry started repeating Tom Riddle's conversation word for word.
- THE JOKE SHOP. HOT DAMN.
- Lovesick Ron was awesome. Ron in general was awesome. I am so pleased, because I love HBP Ron so much (though I love all Ron so much, what am I talking about).
- One of my favorite things about these films is how they use the newspapers for continuity and also passing of time. I love the headlines, the moving pictures, all of that.
- And speaking of which, I love the aesthetics of the memories, the swirling of them. I almost forgot this because I feel I talked about it when talking about the trailers, but I really loved that part.
- All the little details: Ollivander's shop, the Fenrir Greyback poster on the grimy wall of Diagon Alley that looked just like the Sirius Black poster from PoA, I can't think of any more right now but I know there are tons. The pygmy puff on Ginny's shoulder! (Arnold lol.) OH. THE LEMON DROPS SITTING IN A LITTLE DISH ON DUMBLEDORE'S DESK AT THE END. SO MUCH LOVE THERE ARE NO WORDS. And how all the candles went out in the Great Hall. I love imagery like that.
- Romilda Vane! That kisses-blowing card was priceless.
THINGS I LOLED AT:
- How the Death Eaters attacked the bridge and somehow all the people on it managed to escape to the land before it fell. That's what a PG rating gets you, guys. Gotta protect the children.
- Every Ginny moment. "Open up!" WHAT THE? Also, when I read the "That can be another thing hidden up here" (or whatever) line in a spoiler, I actually thought it could be cute, but the delivery was weird. Also, hello, grown up Bonnie Wright! Your voice is kind of deep, which is one thing I like about you.
- Katie Bell's wide open mouth, where you could seriously see her molars. I read in spoilers that everyone at test screenings laughed and everyone in my theater did too. Narm.
- CORMAC MCLAGGEN. SO HILARIOUSLY AMAZING. THAT MOMENT WHERE HE'S LICKING HIS FINGERS AT THE TABLE. I JUST. ALSO:
- WHEN SNAPE WHISKS ASIDE THE CURTAIN HOPING TO CATCH STUDENTS SNOGGING AND CATCHES . . . HARRY AND CORMAC.
- KNITTING MAGAZINE. Apparently they felt it was necessary to foreshadow . . . Dumbledore/Grindelwald.
- DUMBLEDORE: ARE YOU DATING HERMIONE? DUMBLEDORE: SHE WAS PRETTY, THAT RANDOM CAFE CHICK. DUMBLEDORE: AH, YOUNG LOVE. SPEAKING OF WHICH:
- "Her-Her . . . mio . . . Hermione . . ." LOL FOR REAL.
- I liked the transitions between live birds and dead birds, it really illustrated how the cabinet worked (or didn't work) very nicely, plus these films use birds a lot to symbolize the passing of time, sweeping changes, passing on, etcetera. (Or winged things, at least: Hedwig, Buckbeak, thestrals, you know.) But um. The apple? I thought it was going to come back shriveled, dead. BUT NO. IT CAME BACK WITH A FUCKING BITE TAKEN OUT OF IT. That it was meant to be so sinister made me laugh so hard.
- "Hermione has nice skin too." "I've never really thought about it." annnnnd "I think I'm going to go to bed now." i.e. "I think I'm going to have a wank now. While staring at Malfoy walking back and forth across the Marauder's Map."
- "Also the pincers." Hand motions forever. DanRad, I love you.
THINGS I DIDN'T LIKE SO MUCH:
- So what was the point of the HBP reveal then? I liked the ambiguity of Snape at the end, but seriously, if I hadn't read the books, I would not get why the book was called Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I really liked what they did with Snape in the end, but in all the movies so far, I've wondered if they've erred by relying too much on Alan Rickman's comedic timing in his delivery, thus downplaying the actual importance of Snape. Like in what is it, the fourth movie? When he keeps coming by during study hall and whacking Harry and Ron on the head. Or in this movie, when he's like, "You just . . . know . . ." It's funny, but I feel it downplays how important Snape is to the narrative, and until the Deathly Hallows scene, I sort of forgot how HBP is genius in that way, making the book about Snape when it is so much about Dumbledore on the surface, because Snape was there in the narrative (the HBP) all along. I did not get that feeling here. I did, however, love that long look Snape gave as he walked away.
- Luminus Maximus or whatever the fuck is not a spell. It never has been, movie makers! Is it that hard to say Lumos? Is it?
- What was that last scene? I swear it went something like this:
"Malfoy wouldn't have killed him. He was lowering his wand. It's Snape who is EVIL!!!!11 BTW, check out this fake locket. Damn, R.A.B., way to steal our thunder."
"You can snog Ginny, you know. Just not too much."
~ Ron gazes blankly into the distance, oddly several paces behind them ~
"Whatever, I'm leaving anyway. I'll text you, k?"
"Don't be dumb, you need us."
~ touching handholding . . . while Ron stares blankly in the background ~
"Hogwarts is gorgeous."
"LOOK, FAWKES."
THINGS I MISSED:
- All those little moments that could not be included, I know, because they didn't transfer well to the screen, like Luna's "Should I dye my eyebrow yellow too?" and those little details. I still missed them. I'm pleased at the inclusion of crystallized pineapple, though.
- Roonil Wazlib, that's my nickname.
- SCRIMGEOUR. I DISAGREE WITH ALL WHO DON'T THINK HE'S IMPORTANT TO HBP. I THINK HE IS SO IMPORTANT. Because there's Slughorn, right, who's obviously Slytherin-affiliated and morally ambiguous, but it's generally agreed that he did the right thing and is just a little too bumbling and focused on self-preservation. And there's Draco, of course. But then there is Scrimgeour, who is a Gryffindor lion, who is an Auror, should be Harry's hero, right? But he's also a crooked politician who's equally morally reprehensible sometimes, though he also has certain motivations that are generally semi-good. I always thought that was the brilliance of HBP, introducing Slughorn and Scrimgeour at the same time.
- House elves, duh. And Harry going to the Room of Requirement. Though I'm so happy with how Draco was kind of always there, lurking and looking worried, that I cannot be sad about this.
- I don't care, I still missed the funeral and the Mermish singing and the centaurs and the white tomb and Grawp in a suit.
- Edited to add: Uh, was it my lack of listening and my Inferi terror, or was there no "I am not worried, Harry, I am with you"???????????????
- Edited to add: And as 'bri reminded me, missing Scrimgeour and the Burrow visit meant we missed out on Harry raising his fist and going, "I'm Dumbledore's man" aww, I missed that too. And the aftermath, when Harry tells Dumbledore himself. "I told him I was." And Dumbledore's just like, touched to the core. Shit, why did we not get that?
- Edited to add: "Nice suit, Professor." And that little talk Dumbledore gives Harry in the shed with the spiderwebs in his hat, when he tells him to tell Hermione and Ron about the prophecy and to be brave and press on through the tragedy of Sirius dying.
- Edited to add: One of my favorite bits from HBP: after Harry's hidden the potions book and his marks start to slip, Slughorn's all, "Oho, lovesick, are we?" Though I am deeply thankful there were no sunlit days in hidden corners of Hogwarts, thank god. CHO, I MISS YOU, CHO-
- Edited to add (haha, no, I will never stop editing this post): Oh, all the Gaunt stuff, obviously. How the eff is Harry going to know Nagini's probably a Horcrux? The Hufflepuff cup? They did not even chat about what things Tom Riddle might use. Also, and this is just my personal opinion, but Dumbledore's hand was not nearly disfigured enough for me!
- One more edit: Yes, I missed any sense of mourning Sirius, but at the same time, that was one of my biggest complaints about HBP the book, so I don't know if I have a right to miss it in the movie when I missed it in the book, too. Still. Harry's relationship with Dumbledore here did not hold a candle to his relationship with Sirius in the last movie (one of the best things about OotP the movie, I feel), so it seemed extra-glaring that there was barely a mention.
RANDOM THINGS:
- Is it sad that I got little hearts in my eyes every time I saw Crookshanks or Hedwig, what the hell? I was just so happy.
- I SEE YOU, RANDOM SCENE FROM DEATHLY HALLOWS IMPLANTED INTO HBP.
- Guys, I hate Snape/Draco, but it was clearly there in that hallway, looming over me. I also loled every time Ron invaded Harry's personal space, climbing onto his bed or leaning forward. "My lips are chapped, look!" My favorite.
- Was Hermione drunk when she was coming out of the Three Broomsticks? Aww. I thought some of Emma Watson's delivery made scenes unnecessarily awkward, but I really loved her insecure-but-covering girl moments, those went really well, in my opinion. I also laughed when Harry asked who she was taking to the Christmas party and she retorted, "It's a surprise," like that's her defense for everything.
- ALSO. I AM JUST SAYING THIS UP FRONT, DON'T JUDGE ME, BUT THIS MOVIE MADE ME WANT HARRY/SLUGHORN SOOOOO BAD. That old kind of Intellislash Harry/Slughorn, dlkjflsdkfjsldkfj if only it were 2002 and there were still people around to write this kind of shit.
- Edited again: Oh, one more thing. A very important thing! At the end, when Hermione's like, "You're thick, YOU NEED US," I was like, O RLY? I cannot think of a single thing Hermione or Ron did throughout the entire film, besides spy on Draco with Harry, that showed that he needed them to help on his adventures. Obviously I know that he does, and I believe that he does, but it's like, they weren't even running around outside the Burrow with Harry and Ginny! There was no battle in the castle, no reunion of the DA, not even any research into Eileen Prince. I was disappointed about that.
I'm sure I have more to say but I can't think coherently right now. These were my preliminary thoughts, but I'm sure I missed a thousand things. Talk to me, all of you! And for those of you who made my sad attempt at a Harry Potter party actually become a small Harry Potter party, I love you forevs.
Edit: And 'bri, I didn't take your advice, I got a little drunk beforehand. It made the awkward a lot less awkward. I could write a whole post about seeing Emma tonight and where my head's at there, though, so I shall save that for another time. BECAUSE IT'S STILL HARRY POTTER TIME! GO TO IT.
Edit 2: Oops . . . I kind of forgot to talk about Dumbledore?
Edit 3: I've seen the Where The Wild Things Are trailer a gazillion times by now, but never on the big screen. I think there were actual tears in my eyes. Can't wait! I can, however, wait for New Moon. Half my theater was screaming in joy and the other half was laughing hysterically and booing. Harry Potter fans, ilu.
Edit 4: THIS ONE IS IMPORTANT. I JUST REMEMBERED MY FAVORITE PART IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE: When Harry touches Dumbledore's ring and all the memories flash, and afterwards Harry does that little neck crack thing, a la possessed Harry in OotP. THIS IS WHY HAVING ONE DIRECTOR IS KEY. THIS IS WHY I LOVE DAVID YATES. YESSSSS, FORESHADOWING!
Edit 5: Or you could just read Cathy's beautiful, spot-on review.