i won't even pretend like i have shame at this point
Title: Sweet Tooth (or Five Times Kris Allen Was Maybe a Little Bit Shocked)
Author: llaras
Fandom: American Idol, season 8
Pairings: Adam Lambert/George Clooney, Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Rating: R-ish
Warnings: I don't know. It made me kind of hungry.
Disclaimer: I can see into the future, and lo, this will really happen! Only not.
Notes: This is a sequel! Yes, it is! And here is a handy link to the fic that came before, When Supernovas Collide. This is a very, very silly story that mostly came about because I like the idea of Kris making lots of o_O faces. Kris POV. Approx 2200 words.
Summary: Kris makes lots of o_O faces. And there are nummy things to eat.
1.
They get into the hotel late, dirty and worn out from several days on the road, and the only thing Kris can think about is a long, hot shower and a full night's sleep in a normal-sized bed. Adam, however, won't shut up about ice cream.
"Oh! Maybe a brownie sundae! Or a chocolate milkshake!"
Kris laughs as they move up in line and the woman at the desk welcomes them. "Names?" she asks, but she's already reaching for their card keys.
"Kris Allen and Adam Lambert. Do you guys have banana splits here?" Adam is so excited the words come out in a rush.
The desk clerk hands Adam the cards and gives Kris a wide-eyed look. Kris shrugs. She turns back to Adam and smiles, "I don't think so, hon, but I'm sure the kitchen would be happy to make you one if you ask nicely."
Adam grins back at her. "Awesome." Grins at Kris. "Cherries!"
They start to turn away, but the clerk says, "Oh, wait! Mr. Lambert, I'm holding something for you. Just a moment." She disappears into the small office behind the front desk and returns a moment later with an envelope. "Here you go."
Adam has a puzzled look on his face as he takes the envelope. "Thank you," he says.
He doesn't open the envelope until they're standing by the elevators, waiting for an available car. There's a key card inside. It's identical to the ones they got at the front desk, but the small envelope it's in has a different room number on it. There's no other writing, no note. Adam still looks a little confused.
"I thought we were sharing a room," Kris says.
"We are," Adam says as he pulls his phone out. "Hold on, let me check my messages."
The elevator bell dings and the doors open to reveal a very excited Allison. "Kris! Adam! You won't believe who I just saw! I had to come down and find you!" Adam holds a finger up to forestall her revelation, he's listening to a message very intently.
Allison helps Kris grab their bags and they pull Adam into the elevator before the doors shut. She elbows Kris and lowers her voice to a very loud whisper. "George Clooney! Right here! In the same hotel as us!"
Kris looks at Adam immediately. He's put his phone away and looks very much like the cat who got the canary. "Holy crap!" Adam says to Allison. "Do you think he's making a movie here?"
"I don't get you." Kris opens the door to their room and switches on the light. It's pretty much identical to all of the rooms they have shared on the tour. Two queen beds, a bathroom with two sinks, a small sofa and a television set off to one side. Everything is uniform and bland. Safe. Vaguely comfortable.
"What's not to get?" Adam is already unpacking his toiletries in the bathroom, lining them up in an order that never changes, though Kris still hasn't figured out why they always have to be in the same places.
Kris is exasperated. He waves his hands. "This whole thing! With Clooney! I thought you were with Drake. He's a nice guy."
Adam is unruffled as he pokes his head out to respond. "Listen, Drake's fine with this. We've talked about it, okay? We're not in a relationship, anyway. We're just dating. I honestly don't have the time or energy for anything serious right now. Don't worry."
Kris isn't worried. He's just a little confused.
"Can you cover for me? Just in case?" Adam's started the shower and he has to talk a little louder to be heard over the water. "I probably won't be back until early morning."
"I thought you wanted ice cream?"
"What?" There's a series of clinks as the metal rings of the shower curtain slide to one side. Adam shouts, "I can't hear you!"
"Yeah, fine! No problem!" Kris walks away from the bathroom with a sigh and picks up the room service menu before settling on one of the beds. He looks for the dessert section first.
They do have banana splits, but he doesn't think Adam cares anymore.
2.
The call comes just as Kris takes a huge bite of his apple pie. It's Adam's phone and Adam is currently in the bathroom messing with his hair or putting on his face or whatever. They have the whole day to themselves for once and have decided to just fuck around, maybe hang out with some of the others, maybe not, who knows. The complete opposite of their normal, very rigidly scheduled routine. And Adam suggested they start with pie for breakfast. "Scandalous!" was Kris' response, before agreeing.
"Phone!" he yells. It's a bit muffled, but he figures Adam will understand.
He does. "Get it for me, will you? I've got my hands full!"
It's on the third ring, about to go to voicemail and Kris is still trying to chew that last bite, and he's got melted vanilla ice cream on his fingers. "Shit!" But he manages to wipe his hand quickly on his jeans and fumble the phone open as he swallows. "Hello?"
And then the most startling minute of his life thus far commences. It's like someone took every single filthy thought and deed in the world, compressed them into approximately ten sentences and then seductively whispered them into Kris' ear. No, it's not like that. It's exactly that.
Kris chokes.
"Who is it?" Adam appears at his elbow, eyeliner in hand. He hasn't put his shirt on yet and his face is only half made up.
Kris wordlessly hands him the phone. He listens as Adam gives a confused hello and heads back into the bathroom. Kris looks at his half eaten pie and shakes his head. He's never going to be able to watch Ocean's 11 again.
3.
The box comes just as they are finishing their group dinner.
"Chocolates!" Adam quickly opens the attached note and then laughs. He looks up at the others with a mischievous grin, proffers the box to Megan.
"Oooo!" she says as she looks inside. "Penises!" She takes one and admires it. "Little chocolate penises!"
The table erupts, the loudest being Scott, who wants to know if they have nuts, and Adam is soon crowded by Lil and Allison, both making grabby hands. Adam holds out the box to Danny and Michael next, but they shake their heads and wave him off. Michael is nicer about it, saying he's full, but the expression on Danny's face is less about appetite and more about something else.
And that pisses Kris off. "Hey, I want to try one," he says. Adam gives him a thankful grin and lets him choose one of the chocolates before pushing the box over to Anoop and Matt's end of the table.
It's pretty amazing, Kris thinks, what people can do with chocolate. It looks exactly like a penis. Too weird. He has a moment of dissonance when he can't decide which end to bite first. Like when you have a chocolate Easter bunny, do you eat the ears first, or the feet? Only this is much, much dirtier. Or he could just pop the whole thing in his mouth, it's not that big.
So he does. Big mistake. His eyes nearly pop out of his head. "Oh my God! What's inside!?" He was not expecting it to be cream-filled. He coughs as Adam giggles and pats him on the back. "I hate you," he says.
"No, you don't," Adam says brightly. "But I'm not sharing my penises with you anymore if that's the reaction they get."
This has Anoop and Matt rolling on the floor.
4.
It's your standard meet and greet after the show. At least at first. Select members of the audience and local celebrities get a chance to chat with the Idols. Autographs are signed, pictures are taken. Nothing super exciting. Until he shows up.
It starts with a buzz, a low excited hum near the door. But there are too many people crowded up near the front of the room for Kris to make out what all the fuss is about. Maybe the mayor showed up or something. People love that shit.
Kris heads over to the table set up along the back wall. He's suddenly starving and since all of the attention is focused elsewhere for once, maybe he can sneak a bagel or something. But unfortunately all they have left is onion, and he's not so sure that's a smart idea when you're having to stand close and smile and make small talk all evening. Some bright wrappers at the end of the table catch his eye though, an assortment of individually wrapped cookies. Maybe...
Because he's so completely distracted, Kris doesn't realize that the excited buzz has now turned direction and is headed his way.
"Oh, definitely the double chocolate macadamia." And he can hear that smirk, so knowing and dammit, he's never going to be able to forget that phone call, is he?
"Uh," is all he manages as George Clooney grins at him.
George insists on having their picture taken together, several times. And a few with Adam joining them as well. Kris is pretty sure he never stops blushing throughout the entire ordeal. Mostly because George can't stop grabbing his ass.
5.
Kris whistles to himself as the elevator comes to a stop. It's late and they have to get back on the road really early the next day, but he'd had a fun time going to the movies with the others that night. The others minus Adam, that is, as Adam had stayed back in their room, claiming he was too tired and had a headache and he wasn't really into zombie movies, anyway.
Kris smiles as he unlocks the door. He got a little surprise for Adam on their way out, because Kris knows the snacks are half of the fun of going to the movie theater, and Adam fucking loves red licorice.
The room is mostly dark, which isn't surprising, Kris figures Adam's probably asleep. But what is surprising is that the tv is on, Adam never watches tv this late, says he had a bad trip once and stayed up all night watching informercials and now he avoids them like the plague, afraid of flashbacks. Only the tv isn't on, Kris sees as he turns toward that corner of the room. So, where is that weird noise coming from? Is that...moaning?
"Are you watching porn on your laptop again?" he calls out as he shrugs out of his jacket. "I got you something."
But he immediately drops the package of licorice when he turns the corner into the bedroom area and sees what's really going on. "Holy shit!" Adam. Naked. And there's someone else. Naked too. The bedside lamp is on, but he can't quite see the other guy's face. Though it is absolutely another guy. And they are very much invested in their current activity, far too busy to see him standing there like a dumbstruck fool. So much nakedness. And stuff.
Until Adam looks up and sees Kris. Then he makes this noise and closes his eyes and Kris is suddenly certain that he just saw his best friend coming right in front of him. He flees to the bathroom as fast as he can. He's still trying to catch his breath when there's a timid knock on the door.
"Kris?"
He thinks about not answering. Maybe if he wishes hard enough it will all just go away. Because, hello, awkward. But he can't ignore what just happened, no matter how much he'd really like to. "Yeah?"
Adam opens the door a bit and kind of half leans in. He's wearing a bathrobe, one hand clutching it closed while the other is on the doorknob. "Hey. I thought your movie wasn't getting out for another half hour." He's not embarrassed, but he does look a little contrite.
"Um, yeah. We decided to see something else. Sorry."
"No! Don't be sorry! I'm sorry. This. This was kind of last minute. There were no other rooms vacant and George's plane is waiting for him." He pulls away for a moment, looking over his shoulder, before returning his dark gaze to Kris. "Give us five minutes, okay?"
"Sure." What else is Kris going to say? As long as he doesn't have to talk to George Clooney again. Because this is ten times more mortifying than all of their other encounters combined.
"Oh!" And Adam jumps in real quick and gives Kris' cheek a loud smack of a kiss. "Thanks for the licorice! You rock!'
George's voice calls out from the main room, "Kiss him for me, too!"
Adam laughs and his smile goes wicked. Kris doesn't have time to process what is going on because he's suddenly got an armful of warm, happy Adam and Adam's very clever and talented tongue in his mouth, and this is something that Kris really really wasn't expecting.
It probably doesn't even last for ten seconds, but Kris is sure that at least half a lifetime passes before he's released. "That was from George!" Adam exclaims. He gives Kris one more grin before shutting the door.
Eventually Kris remembers how to breathe. Eventually.
Author: llaras
Fandom: American Idol, season 8
Pairings: Adam Lambert/George Clooney, Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Rating: R-ish
Warnings: I don't know. It made me kind of hungry.
Disclaimer: I can see into the future, and lo, this will really happen! Only not.
Notes: This is a sequel! Yes, it is! And here is a handy link to the fic that came before, When Supernovas Collide. This is a very, very silly story that mostly came about because I like the idea of Kris making lots of o_O faces. Kris POV. Approx 2200 words.
Summary: Kris makes lots of o_O faces. And there are nummy things to eat.
1.
They get into the hotel late, dirty and worn out from several days on the road, and the only thing Kris can think about is a long, hot shower and a full night's sleep in a normal-sized bed. Adam, however, won't shut up about ice cream.
"Oh! Maybe a brownie sundae! Or a chocolate milkshake!"
Kris laughs as they move up in line and the woman at the desk welcomes them. "Names?" she asks, but she's already reaching for their card keys.
"Kris Allen and Adam Lambert. Do you guys have banana splits here?" Adam is so excited the words come out in a rush.
The desk clerk hands Adam the cards and gives Kris a wide-eyed look. Kris shrugs. She turns back to Adam and smiles, "I don't think so, hon, but I'm sure the kitchen would be happy to make you one if you ask nicely."
Adam grins back at her. "Awesome." Grins at Kris. "Cherries!"
They start to turn away, but the clerk says, "Oh, wait! Mr. Lambert, I'm holding something for you. Just a moment." She disappears into the small office behind the front desk and returns a moment later with an envelope. "Here you go."
Adam has a puzzled look on his face as he takes the envelope. "Thank you," he says.
He doesn't open the envelope until they're standing by the elevators, waiting for an available car. There's a key card inside. It's identical to the ones they got at the front desk, but the small envelope it's in has a different room number on it. There's no other writing, no note. Adam still looks a little confused.
"I thought we were sharing a room," Kris says.
"We are," Adam says as he pulls his phone out. "Hold on, let me check my messages."
The elevator bell dings and the doors open to reveal a very excited Allison. "Kris! Adam! You won't believe who I just saw! I had to come down and find you!" Adam holds a finger up to forestall her revelation, he's listening to a message very intently.
Allison helps Kris grab their bags and they pull Adam into the elevator before the doors shut. She elbows Kris and lowers her voice to a very loud whisper. "George Clooney! Right here! In the same hotel as us!"
Kris looks at Adam immediately. He's put his phone away and looks very much like the cat who got the canary. "Holy crap!" Adam says to Allison. "Do you think he's making a movie here?"
"I don't get you." Kris opens the door to their room and switches on the light. It's pretty much identical to all of the rooms they have shared on the tour. Two queen beds, a bathroom with two sinks, a small sofa and a television set off to one side. Everything is uniform and bland. Safe. Vaguely comfortable.
"What's not to get?" Adam is already unpacking his toiletries in the bathroom, lining them up in an order that never changes, though Kris still hasn't figured out why they always have to be in the same places.
Kris is exasperated. He waves his hands. "This whole thing! With Clooney! I thought you were with Drake. He's a nice guy."
Adam is unruffled as he pokes his head out to respond. "Listen, Drake's fine with this. We've talked about it, okay? We're not in a relationship, anyway. We're just dating. I honestly don't have the time or energy for anything serious right now. Don't worry."
Kris isn't worried. He's just a little confused.
"Can you cover for me? Just in case?" Adam's started the shower and he has to talk a little louder to be heard over the water. "I probably won't be back until early morning."
"I thought you wanted ice cream?"
"What?" There's a series of clinks as the metal rings of the shower curtain slide to one side. Adam shouts, "I can't hear you!"
"Yeah, fine! No problem!" Kris walks away from the bathroom with a sigh and picks up the room service menu before settling on one of the beds. He looks for the dessert section first.
They do have banana splits, but he doesn't think Adam cares anymore.
2.
The call comes just as Kris takes a huge bite of his apple pie. It's Adam's phone and Adam is currently in the bathroom messing with his hair or putting on his face or whatever. They have the whole day to themselves for once and have decided to just fuck around, maybe hang out with some of the others, maybe not, who knows. The complete opposite of their normal, very rigidly scheduled routine. And Adam suggested they start with pie for breakfast. "Scandalous!" was Kris' response, before agreeing.
"Phone!" he yells. It's a bit muffled, but he figures Adam will understand.
He does. "Get it for me, will you? I've got my hands full!"
It's on the third ring, about to go to voicemail and Kris is still trying to chew that last bite, and he's got melted vanilla ice cream on his fingers. "Shit!" But he manages to wipe his hand quickly on his jeans and fumble the phone open as he swallows. "Hello?"
And then the most startling minute of his life thus far commences. It's like someone took every single filthy thought and deed in the world, compressed them into approximately ten sentences and then seductively whispered them into Kris' ear. No, it's not like that. It's exactly that.
Kris chokes.
"Who is it?" Adam appears at his elbow, eyeliner in hand. He hasn't put his shirt on yet and his face is only half made up.
Kris wordlessly hands him the phone. He listens as Adam gives a confused hello and heads back into the bathroom. Kris looks at his half eaten pie and shakes his head. He's never going to be able to watch Ocean's 11 again.
3.
The box comes just as they are finishing their group dinner.
"Chocolates!" Adam quickly opens the attached note and then laughs. He looks up at the others with a mischievous grin, proffers the box to Megan.
"Oooo!" she says as she looks inside. "Penises!" She takes one and admires it. "Little chocolate penises!"
The table erupts, the loudest being Scott, who wants to know if they have nuts, and Adam is soon crowded by Lil and Allison, both making grabby hands. Adam holds out the box to Danny and Michael next, but they shake their heads and wave him off. Michael is nicer about it, saying he's full, but the expression on Danny's face is less about appetite and more about something else.
And that pisses Kris off. "Hey, I want to try one," he says. Adam gives him a thankful grin and lets him choose one of the chocolates before pushing the box over to Anoop and Matt's end of the table.
It's pretty amazing, Kris thinks, what people can do with chocolate. It looks exactly like a penis. Too weird. He has a moment of dissonance when he can't decide which end to bite first. Like when you have a chocolate Easter bunny, do you eat the ears first, or the feet? Only this is much, much dirtier. Or he could just pop the whole thing in his mouth, it's not that big.
So he does. Big mistake. His eyes nearly pop out of his head. "Oh my God! What's inside!?" He was not expecting it to be cream-filled. He coughs as Adam giggles and pats him on the back. "I hate you," he says.
"No, you don't," Adam says brightly. "But I'm not sharing my penises with you anymore if that's the reaction they get."
This has Anoop and Matt rolling on the floor.
4.
It's your standard meet and greet after the show. At least at first. Select members of the audience and local celebrities get a chance to chat with the Idols. Autographs are signed, pictures are taken. Nothing super exciting. Until he shows up.
It starts with a buzz, a low excited hum near the door. But there are too many people crowded up near the front of the room for Kris to make out what all the fuss is about. Maybe the mayor showed up or something. People love that shit.
Kris heads over to the table set up along the back wall. He's suddenly starving and since all of the attention is focused elsewhere for once, maybe he can sneak a bagel or something. But unfortunately all they have left is onion, and he's not so sure that's a smart idea when you're having to stand close and smile and make small talk all evening. Some bright wrappers at the end of the table catch his eye though, an assortment of individually wrapped cookies. Maybe...
Because he's so completely distracted, Kris doesn't realize that the excited buzz has now turned direction and is headed his way.
"Oh, definitely the double chocolate macadamia." And he can hear that smirk, so knowing and dammit, he's never going to be able to forget that phone call, is he?
"Uh," is all he manages as George Clooney grins at him.
George insists on having their picture taken together, several times. And a few with Adam joining them as well. Kris is pretty sure he never stops blushing throughout the entire ordeal. Mostly because George can't stop grabbing his ass.
5.
Kris whistles to himself as the elevator comes to a stop. It's late and they have to get back on the road really early the next day, but he'd had a fun time going to the movies with the others that night. The others minus Adam, that is, as Adam had stayed back in their room, claiming he was too tired and had a headache and he wasn't really into zombie movies, anyway.
Kris smiles as he unlocks the door. He got a little surprise for Adam on their way out, because Kris knows the snacks are half of the fun of going to the movie theater, and Adam fucking loves red licorice.
The room is mostly dark, which isn't surprising, Kris figures Adam's probably asleep. But what is surprising is that the tv is on, Adam never watches tv this late, says he had a bad trip once and stayed up all night watching informercials and now he avoids them like the plague, afraid of flashbacks. Only the tv isn't on, Kris sees as he turns toward that corner of the room. So, where is that weird noise coming from? Is that...moaning?
"Are you watching porn on your laptop again?" he calls out as he shrugs out of his jacket. "I got you something."
But he immediately drops the package of licorice when he turns the corner into the bedroom area and sees what's really going on. "Holy shit!" Adam. Naked. And there's someone else. Naked too. The bedside lamp is on, but he can't quite see the other guy's face. Though it is absolutely another guy. And they are very much invested in their current activity, far too busy to see him standing there like a dumbstruck fool. So much nakedness. And stuff.
Until Adam looks up and sees Kris. Then he makes this noise and closes his eyes and Kris is suddenly certain that he just saw his best friend coming right in front of him. He flees to the bathroom as fast as he can. He's still trying to catch his breath when there's a timid knock on the door.
"Kris?"
He thinks about not answering. Maybe if he wishes hard enough it will all just go away. Because, hello, awkward. But he can't ignore what just happened, no matter how much he'd really like to. "Yeah?"
Adam opens the door a bit and kind of half leans in. He's wearing a bathrobe, one hand clutching it closed while the other is on the doorknob. "Hey. I thought your movie wasn't getting out for another half hour." He's not embarrassed, but he does look a little contrite.
"Um, yeah. We decided to see something else. Sorry."
"No! Don't be sorry! I'm sorry. This. This was kind of last minute. There were no other rooms vacant and George's plane is waiting for him." He pulls away for a moment, looking over his shoulder, before returning his dark gaze to Kris. "Give us five minutes, okay?"
"Sure." What else is Kris going to say? As long as he doesn't have to talk to George Clooney again. Because this is ten times more mortifying than all of their other encounters combined.
"Oh!" And Adam jumps in real quick and gives Kris' cheek a loud smack of a kiss. "Thanks for the licorice! You rock!'
George's voice calls out from the main room, "Kiss him for me, too!"
Adam laughs and his smile goes wicked. Kris doesn't have time to process what is going on because he's suddenly got an armful of warm, happy Adam and Adam's very clever and talented tongue in his mouth, and this is something that Kris really really wasn't expecting.
It probably doesn't even last for ten seconds, but Kris is sure that at least half a lifetime passes before he's released. "That was from George!" Adam exclaims. He gives Kris one more grin before shutting the door.
Eventually Kris remembers how to breathe. Eventually.