Ficlet: "Mirror" (1/1), post-"Gemini"
Mirror by LJ
Spoilers for "Gemini"
For one brief, single moment, she wonders what it would be like to be a replicator.
She thinks of technology, of assimilating and sharing knowledge with the mere thought of it. She watches as the other rests her hands on the keyboard and shifts into it.
She thinks of the look on the other's face as she communicates with Fifth, that strangely natural instantaneous connection she shares with others of her kind.
She has been a scientist since birth. It is innate. It is in her very genes. And so she forgets she has been made into a warrior, too.
But then she remembers: as she sees the strength and cruelty in the other's eyes, as she is witness to the ease with which the other destroys her maker and shows no qualms in destroying them.
Oh, she knows betrayal and deception. She knows them well. Today she has betrayed and deceived herself thousandfold.
Teal'c calls to her. "Colonel Carter?" How can he even look at her? She would die, if just to regain his trust.
And when she steps through the Stargate and the General looks at her with unusual concern, all she can remember is his face when the other killed him. It was a single bullet, she remembers, direct to the heart: instant death. The others lingered in agony.
She falls asleep in her lab, exhausting all routes of inquiry. She dreams that now Daniel, who isn't even on base, visits her. "Now you know what it's like," he tells her.
"What?" she says, sleepy even in her dream.
"Harcesis dream," he says and disappears in a shimmering light.
She awakens to the sound of her cell phone ringing; it's Pete, wondering where she is. "What happened?" he asks, and then corrects himself: "If you can tell me. I've learned what 'top secret' means."
She fights back the tears and wishes Janet would be there. Janet remembered Jolinar, remembered Dr. Carter. And Janet had a temper. She understood about the other.
"Sam?" Pete asks, his voice tinny over the phone.
But she doesn't tell him. "Just a bad day," she tells. "Just a bad day."
It's the beginning of the end, she knows. This isn't the first time she's looked in the mirror and didn't like what she saw.
But this is going to be the last time she does.
[fin]
Spoilers for "Gemini"
For one brief, single moment, she wonders what it would be like to be a replicator.
She thinks of technology, of assimilating and sharing knowledge with the mere thought of it. She watches as the other rests her hands on the keyboard and shifts into it.
She thinks of the look on the other's face as she communicates with Fifth, that strangely natural instantaneous connection she shares with others of her kind.
She has been a scientist since birth. It is innate. It is in her very genes. And so she forgets she has been made into a warrior, too.
But then she remembers: as she sees the strength and cruelty in the other's eyes, as she is witness to the ease with which the other destroys her maker and shows no qualms in destroying them.
Oh, she knows betrayal and deception. She knows them well. Today she has betrayed and deceived herself thousandfold.
Teal'c calls to her. "Colonel Carter?" How can he even look at her? She would die, if just to regain his trust.
And when she steps through the Stargate and the General looks at her with unusual concern, all she can remember is his face when the other killed him. It was a single bullet, she remembers, direct to the heart: instant death. The others lingered in agony.
She falls asleep in her lab, exhausting all routes of inquiry. She dreams that now Daniel, who isn't even on base, visits her. "Now you know what it's like," he tells her.
"What?" she says, sleepy even in her dream.
"Harcesis dream," he says and disappears in a shimmering light.
She awakens to the sound of her cell phone ringing; it's Pete, wondering where she is. "What happened?" he asks, and then corrects himself: "If you can tell me. I've learned what 'top secret' means."
She fights back the tears and wishes Janet would be there. Janet remembered Jolinar, remembered Dr. Carter. And Janet had a temper. She understood about the other.
"Sam?" Pete asks, his voice tinny over the phone.
But she doesn't tell him. "Just a bad day," she tells. "Just a bad day."
It's the beginning of the end, she knows. This isn't the first time she's looked in the mirror and didn't like what she saw.
But this is going to be the last time she does.
[fin]