Best Laid Plans
Here's my secret Li'l Sebastian fic for c00kie! She wanted to see Leslie and Ben wake up together after drinking Snake Juice. Consider this an "AU for the Fight." PG-13ish. 1,100 words.
Unbeta'd due to time constraints. Let me know if you see any glaring errors!
Ben wakes up with a splitting headache. The sun is shining through the curtains just a little too enthusiastically. He squints to block out the sunlight. God, what did he drink last night?
He gets out of bed and shuffles towards the bathroom.
Wait a second - there’s a wall where the bathroom should be. And the wall is covered with framed photographs of Leslie and her friends.
Ben rubs his eyes and takes a closer look at the room. It is filled to the brim with stuff. Stacks of old newspapers line the walls. There’s a basket filled with craft projects in various stages of completion.
In the center of the room, there’s a bed.
Leslie is fast asleep. She’s naked
He’s also naked.
Crap.
**
Leslie wakes up to the sound of her alarm clock going off. She usually gets up before the alarm; Tom’s wretched Snake Juice must have done a number on her.
She stretches her arms and notices that she’s not wearing pajamas. She’s not wearing any clothes, for that matter.
What the hell happened last night?
She grabs her phone and starts to scroll through the text messages, looking for clues. There’s a message from Donna.
You guys owe me for the cab. I’ll take you to pick up your car. Have fun hitting it and quitting it ;-)
Aghast, Leslie stares at the message, hoping that the letters will rearrange into a slightly less scandalous message.
She hooked up with someone last night. And Donna knows who it is.
And then she hears the toilet flush
**
Leslie grabs her robe and runs down the hall. Ann would say that her “fight or flight mechanism is screwed up.” She’s not screwed up; she just wants to know who she screwed. She hopes it’s someone she knows - like Ben (even though one go with him would not be enough to sate her) - and not a douchey, bar hopping bro.
That offhand thought about Ann jogs her memory. They had a juvenile fight last night. Maybe she should run over to Ann’s house before work to apologize. That is, if Ann would even let her in after what she said about her.
Leslie knocks on the bathroom door. “Hey, strange person in my bathroom - I bet we had fun last night, but I need to get ready for work.”
The guy opens the door.
Ben is standing there in his rumpled clothes from yesterday.
“I hope you don’t mind that I threw up in your toilet.” He smiles sheepishly.
One third of her is thrilled that she had sex with Ben. The second third is sad that she can’t remember any of it. And the last third is horrified because Donna knows and their jobs are in jeopardy if she squeals.
“We have to conduct job interviews today. You had better go home and change. I am going to get a hold of Donna because she paid for our cab.”
Ben puts his head in his hands. “Fuck. I had better get going.”
On his way down the hall, he turns around and says, “You know, when I pictured this happening, I didn’t picture it like this.”
Leslie agrees. She’s not vain, but she doesn’t want the one guy she wants more than anything in the world to see her looking like a reanimated corpse.
“I’d love to chat but I have to make a visit to the whizz palace.”
**
Ben walks back to his place. He changes his clothes and picks up his car.
April gives him a knowing look.
**
When Leslie arrives in the conference room where the interviews are taking place, she pulls Ben aside.
“We have to pretend that nothing happened. We’ll just sort it out later.”
“Do you remember anything from last night?” Ben asks.
“I had a huge fight with Ann. About boys and careers and stuff.” Leslie sighs. “God, I feel like death warmed over. I never meant to hurt her; I just wanted her to see reason.”
They suffer through the first couple interviews and it is clear that all of the candidates are terrible.
Maybe this mess can be mitigated if Ben can convince Ann to interview.
**
When they take a break, Ben rushes over to Ann’s house. She answers the door in her snowpants. Her hair is disheveled and she wanders back to the couch in a daze.
“Uh, Leslie doesn’t know I’m here.”
“Oh, God. It’s so high school. I can’t believe Leslie and I got drunk at a bar and fought about boys. I thought we were so much better than that.”
Ann rambles on about how important Leslie is to her and Ben tries not to zone out.
“I don’t know you very well, but you’re clearly very important to Leslie and that must mean you’re a pretty good person. I know she feels awful.”
“Did you talk to her or something? God, I hope she still wants to talk to me.” Ann rolls over into a fetal position.
“Briefly,” Ben stammers. If he’s not careful, he’s going to blow his cover. “She’s always talking about how lucky she is to have you as a friend. I thought you should know that.”
“Well, I have it on good authority that she really likes you,” Ann remarks.
Ben’s ears turn bright red. “I’m going to get going and maybe we’ll see you later today at the interviews. Provided I can make it back to work without throwing up.”
**
Leslie sends Donna a text.
Hey - how many people know what happened last night?
Donna replies instantly.
Nobody knows. I am all about hook up related discretion.
Leslie is about to send another panicked text message when her phone chimes again.
Your secret’s safe with me.
**
After Ann successfully interviews for the job and Leslie and Ann exchange adorable apologies, Ben is alone with Leslie again.
She sits motionless while the gravity of the situation washes over her.
Ben tries to drum up some conversation. “Well, that went better than expected.”
Leslie returns his gaze.
“What do we do now?” Her voice has a hint of trepidation.
“Pretend it didn’t happen?”
“That sounds like the best course of action, based on our situation.”
“We were drunk. We wouldn’t have done it if we weren’t drunk. And if we do it again, we could get caught.”
“You’re probably right.”
But that doesn’t change how badly he wants to relive the experience right now. The look in her eyes indicates that she feels the same way.
**
Next week, when Chris sends them on a road trip to Indianapolis, their best laid plans go out the window.
Unbeta'd due to time constraints. Let me know if you see any glaring errors!
Ben wakes up with a splitting headache. The sun is shining through the curtains just a little too enthusiastically. He squints to block out the sunlight. God, what did he drink last night?
He gets out of bed and shuffles towards the bathroom.
Wait a second - there’s a wall where the bathroom should be. And the wall is covered with framed photographs of Leslie and her friends.
Ben rubs his eyes and takes a closer look at the room. It is filled to the brim with stuff. Stacks of old newspapers line the walls. There’s a basket filled with craft projects in various stages of completion.
In the center of the room, there’s a bed.
Leslie is fast asleep. She’s naked
He’s also naked.
Crap.
**
Leslie wakes up to the sound of her alarm clock going off. She usually gets up before the alarm; Tom’s wretched Snake Juice must have done a number on her.
She stretches her arms and notices that she’s not wearing pajamas. She’s not wearing any clothes, for that matter.
What the hell happened last night?
She grabs her phone and starts to scroll through the text messages, looking for clues. There’s a message from Donna.
You guys owe me for the cab. I’ll take you to pick up your car. Have fun hitting it and quitting it ;-)
Aghast, Leslie stares at the message, hoping that the letters will rearrange into a slightly less scandalous message.
She hooked up with someone last night. And Donna knows who it is.
And then she hears the toilet flush
**
Leslie grabs her robe and runs down the hall. Ann would say that her “fight or flight mechanism is screwed up.” She’s not screwed up; she just wants to know who she screwed. She hopes it’s someone she knows - like Ben (even though one go with him would not be enough to sate her) - and not a douchey, bar hopping bro.
That offhand thought about Ann jogs her memory. They had a juvenile fight last night. Maybe she should run over to Ann’s house before work to apologize. That is, if Ann would even let her in after what she said about her.
Leslie knocks on the bathroom door. “Hey, strange person in my bathroom - I bet we had fun last night, but I need to get ready for work.”
The guy opens the door.
Ben is standing there in his rumpled clothes from yesterday.
“I hope you don’t mind that I threw up in your toilet.” He smiles sheepishly.
One third of her is thrilled that she had sex with Ben. The second third is sad that she can’t remember any of it. And the last third is horrified because Donna knows and their jobs are in jeopardy if she squeals.
“We have to conduct job interviews today. You had better go home and change. I am going to get a hold of Donna because she paid for our cab.”
Ben puts his head in his hands. “Fuck. I had better get going.”
On his way down the hall, he turns around and says, “You know, when I pictured this happening, I didn’t picture it like this.”
Leslie agrees. She’s not vain, but she doesn’t want the one guy she wants more than anything in the world to see her looking like a reanimated corpse.
“I’d love to chat but I have to make a visit to the whizz palace.”
**
Ben walks back to his place. He changes his clothes and picks up his car.
April gives him a knowing look.
**
When Leslie arrives in the conference room where the interviews are taking place, she pulls Ben aside.
“We have to pretend that nothing happened. We’ll just sort it out later.”
“Do you remember anything from last night?” Ben asks.
“I had a huge fight with Ann. About boys and careers and stuff.” Leslie sighs. “God, I feel like death warmed over. I never meant to hurt her; I just wanted her to see reason.”
They suffer through the first couple interviews and it is clear that all of the candidates are terrible.
Maybe this mess can be mitigated if Ben can convince Ann to interview.
**
When they take a break, Ben rushes over to Ann’s house. She answers the door in her snowpants. Her hair is disheveled and she wanders back to the couch in a daze.
“Uh, Leslie doesn’t know I’m here.”
“Oh, God. It’s so high school. I can’t believe Leslie and I got drunk at a bar and fought about boys. I thought we were so much better than that.”
Ann rambles on about how important Leslie is to her and Ben tries not to zone out.
“I don’t know you very well, but you’re clearly very important to Leslie and that must mean you’re a pretty good person. I know she feels awful.”
“Did you talk to her or something? God, I hope she still wants to talk to me.” Ann rolls over into a fetal position.
“Briefly,” Ben stammers. If he’s not careful, he’s going to blow his cover. “She’s always talking about how lucky she is to have you as a friend. I thought you should know that.”
“Well, I have it on good authority that she really likes you,” Ann remarks.
Ben’s ears turn bright red. “I’m going to get going and maybe we’ll see you later today at the interviews. Provided I can make it back to work without throwing up.”
**
Leslie sends Donna a text.
Hey - how many people know what happened last night?
Donna replies instantly.
Nobody knows. I am all about hook up related discretion.
Leslie is about to send another panicked text message when her phone chimes again.
Your secret’s safe with me.
**
After Ann successfully interviews for the job and Leslie and Ann exchange adorable apologies, Ben is alone with Leslie again.
She sits motionless while the gravity of the situation washes over her.
Ben tries to drum up some conversation. “Well, that went better than expected.”
Leslie returns his gaze.
“What do we do now?” Her voice has a hint of trepidation.
“Pretend it didn’t happen?”
“That sounds like the best course of action, based on our situation.”
“We were drunk. We wouldn’t have done it if we weren’t drunk. And if we do it again, we could get caught.”
“You’re probably right.”
But that doesn’t change how badly he wants to relive the experience right now. The look in her eyes indicates that she feels the same way.
**
Next week, when Chris sends them on a road trip to Indianapolis, their best laid plans go out the window.