Glee Season 4 Re-watch - 4x20 - Lights Out
Lights Out. In which we learn that McKinley High School has actually been nocturnal this whole time. Warning: today’s recap involves copious amounts of snark and capslock.
In the choir room before rehearsal, everyone is tapping away on their phones, and Ryder is texting “Katie.” INSTEAD OF JUST CALLING AND MAKING THE DAMN THING RING ONCE AND FOR ALL JESUS. Schuester comes in and tells them that their competition has an amazing lead singer - also known as a thoroughly pointless guest star - in Frida Romero/Jessica Sanchez. Oh no! What will we do?! We were hoping that everyone else at Regionals would just suck and we’d win by default! Schue says that the way to win is with epic, stadium-huge songs.
And then the lights ca-chunk out and everyone is plunged into darkness, despite the fact that it’s the middle of the goddamn afternoon. For a school that recently had a shooting scare, this panics them a whole lot less than it should. The PA system is still working, though, and Figgins says they should keep right on studying, even though no one can see the hands in front of their faces. (And random pair of extras starts making out in the hall and now I wish Klaine had it so good...) Schue says “nevermind” to his big-song strategy, so now it’s unplugged week.
Was there really no other way to make it an acoustic week without the darkness gimmick? Really?
Flashlights in the hallways, and Ryder’s wringing his hands about Katie, and how he’s told her things he’s never told anyone. Jake thinks he’s being ridiculous, and maybe he should actually work on being friends with people right in front of him.
NEW YORK! OH THANK GOD! At the loft, Rachel and Kurt want to stage an intervention on Santana, whom they think is throwing her life away at the nasty Coyote Ugly bar and as a bouncer/go-go dancer at a lesbian beer garden. (Gossip courtesy of Tina - how does she know these things?) The pair of them come off as pretty judgy, but they really do believe in Santana’s talent and want to see her put it to good use. Santana’s pissed, as she neither wants to be in Funny Girl, nor a singing waiter at the Fire Island Pancake Shack (it’s a nonsensical dig, but Kurt looks intrigued at the idea). But when pressed, Santana can’t exactly put a voice to what her dreams really are. Kurt and Rachel suggest dance lessons while she’s figuring things out, but Santana’s too grumpy to see it as a decent idea.
Back in the choir room, Schuester has some lanterns and Artie has a miner’s helmet, and Sam kicks it off with a rambling introduction and “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling.” Artie rudely spends the whole time texting (something I'm pretty sure I've never seen him do before). When it’s Artie’s turn to perform, he can only touch a single key on the piano before falling apart for needing his synth. Sam tells him he’s being an idiot, that he had to entertain his brother and sister without electricity when they had no money, that everyone’s a phone addict. Sam’s song is fine enough, but nothing in this scene really works. Like, at all. Artie’s drama and lack of attention to Sam’s song is completely out of left field. Sam’s righteous indignation seems forced.
ISABELLE! We’re in Isabelle’s office! (Sorry, but in this episode, apparently anything New York gets caps-locked.) Isabelle is on the phone arranging swag bags and seating arrangements for a fancy event, and she and Kurt TROLL THE EVER LOVING HELL out of one section of the fandom. Isabelle is on the phone with “Darren,” and tells him, “you’re at my table, sitting next to Christopher, so be nice.” Kurt’s got an excited fangirl face on and goes “Darren…?” Aronofsky, Isabelle says. And Christopher Nolan.
SWEAR TO GOD, the first time I saw this episode I had to pause the DVR until I stopped laughing. I tried to explain it to my husband, but he just shook his head like I was out of my damn mind. For as much as the “lesbian blogging community” thing did not work back in “Swan Song,” this was more like an inside joke and my jaw dropped to the floor because I couldn’t believe they went there and poked the CrissColfer shippers with a stick. No? Just me?
Anyways. Ahem. Kurt’s worried that Isabelle is going to fire him, since he hasn’t been around much since he started at NYADA (we haven’t seen Isabelle or Vogue since Thanksgiving, in case you were keeping track). But no, she still loves him, and even asks after his dad (remember, NINE episodes ago, when we said he had cancer? OH RIGHT!). Oh Isabelle, you love our Kurt, so we love you. She needs Kurt (and a few of his besties) to come wrangle celebrities at her fancy-schmancy benefit for the New York Ballet. Kurt is ON IT.
You know I love Kurt. You know I love Kurt and Isabelle. And yet, even this scene feels weirdly off-kilter. And not in a purposefully quirky way. There’s something about the acting or the dialogue or something that feels off, and I very seldom feel that way when Kurt is involved.
And then there's Sue Sylvester journal-voice-over-ing at her new gig teaching aerobics (which apparently includes a time machine to 1986). And then there's Blaine, staking out sue, but mostly providing porny gifs for Tumblr. I mean, honest to god. The tank top, the short shorts, the pelvic thrusts, and Blaine's Ass threatening to take top billing. For the second time in about as many minutes, I kind of can't believe Glee went there. I mean, thanks for the porn, I guess? (Oh, apparently this was a nearly direct copy of the actual video from 2004. Wonder how much of the general viewing audience knew that? Because I did not until this very moment.)
Anyways, Blaine catches his breath and talks to Sue after class. He confesses that he joined the Cheerios to bring her down from the inside. But now that she's gone, he feels it's his duty as student council president to be concerned about the grossly inappropriate advice Roz Washington is giving the girls. He also says he knows something went down that had to do with her (you mean, like the thing she confessed to?), and no one feels safe at the school, and they need her.
Having typed that out, absolutely not one lick of it makes any sense at all. Were the writers drunk when coming up with this episode? Were they grabbing random tiles from a magnetic poetry set? I don't even know.
Artie talks to Sam about the whole needing to unplug thing, and is inspired by the sound of running over a water bottle with his wheelchair. Not just acoustic, but NO INSTRUMENTS! This is so super original! Because no one has ever seen Stomp.
Kurt comes back to the loft to tell the girls about the gig he just scored for the three of them. Rachel and Kurt are shrieking and jumping around with excitement, while Santana says "and just when you thought it couldn't get any gayer..." Heh. Rachel and Kurt flashback to their childhood in ballet class, and wee baby Kurt in his tutu might be the cutest thing I have ever seen. Even if it's also heartbreaking that he remembers some of the kids and parents laughing at him. Santana is too cool for that, saying she skipped straight to crunk. She only agrees to help at the gala when she finds out she gets to wear a fabulous gown and keep it.
In the pitch-black choir room (do they live in the North Pole in the dead of winter?), Ryder is going unplugged... with his feelings. With orchestration. This was a thing that was said, in all seriousness. I could barf. Anyways, Ryder wants to make a confession, in part because he's already made this confession to the catfisher and is looking for a reaction. (INSTEAD OF JUST CALLING THE GODDAMN PHONE.)
Ryder sings "Everybody Hurts," and I shit you not, half the Glee club just has flashbacks of getting slushied like that's the worst possible thing that could ever happen. I want to smack all of them. And Ryder's announcement is something else entirely - he was sexually assaulted by a babysitter when he was a kid. Sam and Artie are possibly the biggest douchebags EVER and just want to high-five him for having a girl touch his junk at such a young age. Schue says it's serious and he has to report it, Tina and Marley shoot the guys down and defend Ryder. But Ryder just gives in, high-fives the two jerks, and walks out.
WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK. I just... OK, I'll come back to this in a minute.
Kitty invites Ryder to dinner so they can bond, because she was molested, too. Kitty is really good in this scene, vulnerable and upset. And I’m glad they have each other. But.
Look, I don’t mind it when Glee takes on serious topics. It frustrates me when people say Glee should just stick to being silly and bubble-gum and top-40. Not only would that be boring to watch, but I think it severely underestimates what a lot of teenagers deal with every day. So yes, I’m glad Glee gives voice to the harder stuff. But this somehow feels like yet another random thing thrown onto this week’s enormous pile of unrelated events. It doesn’t resonate like it deserves to.
In the dark auditorium, New Directions (and a whole bunch of other random people) are swirling their flashlights around and banging on trash cans to do a Stomp-esque version of “We Will Rock You.” The novelty of the darkness is really annoying in this performance. Can’t see a damn thing.
And with very literally no transition whatsoever, we’re out on the bleachers with Sue and Becky in matching tracksuits. Becky hates how she’s being treated by Coach Roz, and misses Sue. Sue says life is better as a trainer, where people respect her, and she’s done babysitting bratty high school students. So she sings “Little Girls” from Annie, and gee, did you know she was going to be Mrs. Hannigan on Broadway the minute she’s done filming this? She walks around the school (is she even allowed to be there?) throwing people around. It ends and she lies and says she doesn’t miss this school. Nope, not one bit.
Time for the ballet gala! Oh my gracious, Kurt, Rachel and Santana are drop-dead gorgeous in their formalwear. Kurt looks eight feet tall in that tux. Santana is elegantly sexy in the light purple dress that looks like it was wrapped around her torso. Rachel is a lovely combination of pre- and post-makeover - still some sweet innocence to her look, but more grown up.
Santana is still trying to act like she doesn’t care, but Isabelle cuts through it and says every little girl starts out dreaming of being a ballerina. Apparently Isabelle has the magic touch, because Santana finally confesses that she did take ballet, that dancing was a transformative experience for her.
The quartet sings “At the Ballet” from A Chorus Line, and I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I LOVE it. It sounds gorgeous, I could listen to them and look at those beautiful dresses all night long. It's a thing of beauty. And yet... How long would you guess the average Glee song runs? Two minutes, give or take? "At the Ballet" runs close to six minutes long, and while it's beautiful and Rachel and Santana's voices do a bit of soaring at the end, it's not exactly a high-energy piece. So while I was entranced by it when it first aired simply because it was them and it was pretty, its effect on the episode as a whole is slow and sleepy. It drags. I don't want to say that, because I love the New York group so much, but it really does.
Coach Roz drags Becky into Principal Figgins' office because Becky is, well, giving back the trash talk Roz gives to everyone else. But it's all just an excuse for Becky to talk to Figgins, because... "I need to tell you something." Apparently, we will never find out exactly what she says. WTF?
The power is back on, but Schue wants to say one more thing about the power of singing a capella. It's important, because clearly no one in this group has any EXPERIENCE with these things (*cough* BLAINE WARBLER *cough*).
Ryder's still IM-ing with Katie, who feebly tries to deny she's in Glee. He still hasn't CALLED HER FUCKING PHONE. I don't even. I can't even. This is why this story is dead to me. They try for a minute to make us think it's Kitty, but it so isn't.
Santana shows up late for her first NYADA extension class, and the dance teacher is thoroughly unimpressed with her normal arrogance. This must be a wake-up call for Santana, who nearly always kept the entirety of McKinley High in line with nothing but her sharp words. You ain’t in Ohio anymore, honey. Wee baby Santana shows up and tells grown-up Santana not to forget about her again.
The final New Directions number for the day is “The Longest Time,” and their resident Warbler inexplicably does not sing a single line.
This is a hot mess of an episode, any way you slice it. The darkened school is an utterly ridiculous premise if you let yourself think about it for more than two seconds - even by Glee standards. The catfishing thing has gone totally off the rails. Blaine spies on Sue with absolutely zero results or connection to any other part of the episode. They can’t even properly keep the “unplugged” theme going the whole time. The sexual assault story deserved much better treatment than it got. And Sam and Artie are total dickheads for no apparent reason and with no repercussions.
New York isn’t much better, and it appears to have absolutely ZERO thematic connection to the Ohio side. For at least the second time this season, we get our hopes up that Kurt is actually going to have something to do, is actually going to have a story of his own, but it turns out he’s only scaffolding so that one of his roommates can come to one epiphany or another (I’m looking at you, too, “Guilty Pleasures”). What a waste. I’m all for Santana having some character development, but nothing about this seemed to fit or flow.
This might get my biggest thumbs-down for the entire season. The stories are jumbled and all tossed in a pile with no links between them. I was far from un-spoiled last season, and even the promotional materials as close as the WEEK before this aired included a whole thing with Blaine as Nightbird, with the boys interrogating Becky… where did it go and in favor of what? Was this hastily re-written or re-edited in the days before it aired? It certainly has that feel.
Am I being too harsh? Did anyone actually like “Lights Out?”
In the choir room before rehearsal, everyone is tapping away on their phones, and Ryder is texting “Katie.” INSTEAD OF JUST CALLING AND MAKING THE DAMN THING RING ONCE AND FOR ALL JESUS. Schuester comes in and tells them that their competition has an amazing lead singer - also known as a thoroughly pointless guest star - in Frida Romero/Jessica Sanchez. Oh no! What will we do?! We were hoping that everyone else at Regionals would just suck and we’d win by default! Schue says that the way to win is with epic, stadium-huge songs.
And then the lights ca-chunk out and everyone is plunged into darkness, despite the fact that it’s the middle of the goddamn afternoon. For a school that recently had a shooting scare, this panics them a whole lot less than it should. The PA system is still working, though, and Figgins says they should keep right on studying, even though no one can see the hands in front of their faces. (And random pair of extras starts making out in the hall and now I wish Klaine had it so good...) Schue says “nevermind” to his big-song strategy, so now it’s unplugged week.
Was there really no other way to make it an acoustic week without the darkness gimmick? Really?
Flashlights in the hallways, and Ryder’s wringing his hands about Katie, and how he’s told her things he’s never told anyone. Jake thinks he’s being ridiculous, and maybe he should actually work on being friends with people right in front of him.
NEW YORK! OH THANK GOD! At the loft, Rachel and Kurt want to stage an intervention on Santana, whom they think is throwing her life away at the nasty Coyote Ugly bar and as a bouncer/go-go dancer at a lesbian beer garden. (Gossip courtesy of Tina - how does she know these things?) The pair of them come off as pretty judgy, but they really do believe in Santana’s talent and want to see her put it to good use. Santana’s pissed, as she neither wants to be in Funny Girl, nor a singing waiter at the Fire Island Pancake Shack (it’s a nonsensical dig, but Kurt looks intrigued at the idea). But when pressed, Santana can’t exactly put a voice to what her dreams really are. Kurt and Rachel suggest dance lessons while she’s figuring things out, but Santana’s too grumpy to see it as a decent idea.
Back in the choir room, Schuester has some lanterns and Artie has a miner’s helmet, and Sam kicks it off with a rambling introduction and “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling.” Artie rudely spends the whole time texting (something I'm pretty sure I've never seen him do before). When it’s Artie’s turn to perform, he can only touch a single key on the piano before falling apart for needing his synth. Sam tells him he’s being an idiot, that he had to entertain his brother and sister without electricity when they had no money, that everyone’s a phone addict. Sam’s song is fine enough, but nothing in this scene really works. Like, at all. Artie’s drama and lack of attention to Sam’s song is completely out of left field. Sam’s righteous indignation seems forced.
ISABELLE! We’re in Isabelle’s office! (Sorry, but in this episode, apparently anything New York gets caps-locked.) Isabelle is on the phone arranging swag bags and seating arrangements for a fancy event, and she and Kurt TROLL THE EVER LOVING HELL out of one section of the fandom. Isabelle is on the phone with “Darren,” and tells him, “you’re at my table, sitting next to Christopher, so be nice.” Kurt’s got an excited fangirl face on and goes “Darren…?” Aronofsky, Isabelle says. And Christopher Nolan.
SWEAR TO GOD, the first time I saw this episode I had to pause the DVR until I stopped laughing. I tried to explain it to my husband, but he just shook his head like I was out of my damn mind. For as much as the “lesbian blogging community” thing did not work back in “Swan Song,” this was more like an inside joke and my jaw dropped to the floor because I couldn’t believe they went there and poked the CrissColfer shippers with a stick. No? Just me?
Anyways. Ahem. Kurt’s worried that Isabelle is going to fire him, since he hasn’t been around much since he started at NYADA (we haven’t seen Isabelle or Vogue since Thanksgiving, in case you were keeping track). But no, she still loves him, and even asks after his dad (remember, NINE episodes ago, when we said he had cancer? OH RIGHT!). Oh Isabelle, you love our Kurt, so we love you. She needs Kurt (and a few of his besties) to come wrangle celebrities at her fancy-schmancy benefit for the New York Ballet. Kurt is ON IT.
You know I love Kurt. You know I love Kurt and Isabelle. And yet, even this scene feels weirdly off-kilter. And not in a purposefully quirky way. There’s something about the acting or the dialogue or something that feels off, and I very seldom feel that way when Kurt is involved.
And then there's Sue Sylvester journal-voice-over-ing at her new gig teaching aerobics (which apparently includes a time machine to 1986). And then there's Blaine, staking out sue, but mostly providing porny gifs for Tumblr. I mean, honest to god. The tank top, the short shorts, the pelvic thrusts, and Blaine's Ass threatening to take top billing. For the second time in about as many minutes, I kind of can't believe Glee went there. I mean, thanks for the porn, I guess? (Oh, apparently this was a nearly direct copy of the actual video from 2004. Wonder how much of the general viewing audience knew that? Because I did not until this very moment.)
Anyways, Blaine catches his breath and talks to Sue after class. He confesses that he joined the Cheerios to bring her down from the inside. But now that she's gone, he feels it's his duty as student council president to be concerned about the grossly inappropriate advice Roz Washington is giving the girls. He also says he knows something went down that had to do with her (you mean, like the thing she confessed to?), and no one feels safe at the school, and they need her.
Having typed that out, absolutely not one lick of it makes any sense at all. Were the writers drunk when coming up with this episode? Were they grabbing random tiles from a magnetic poetry set? I don't even know.
Artie talks to Sam about the whole needing to unplug thing, and is inspired by the sound of running over a water bottle with his wheelchair. Not just acoustic, but NO INSTRUMENTS! This is so super original! Because no one has ever seen Stomp.
Kurt comes back to the loft to tell the girls about the gig he just scored for the three of them. Rachel and Kurt are shrieking and jumping around with excitement, while Santana says "and just when you thought it couldn't get any gayer..." Heh. Rachel and Kurt flashback to their childhood in ballet class, and wee baby Kurt in his tutu might be the cutest thing I have ever seen. Even if it's also heartbreaking that he remembers some of the kids and parents laughing at him. Santana is too cool for that, saying she skipped straight to crunk. She only agrees to help at the gala when she finds out she gets to wear a fabulous gown and keep it.
In the pitch-black choir room (do they live in the North Pole in the dead of winter?), Ryder is going unplugged... with his feelings. With orchestration. This was a thing that was said, in all seriousness. I could barf. Anyways, Ryder wants to make a confession, in part because he's already made this confession to the catfisher and is looking for a reaction. (INSTEAD OF JUST CALLING THE GODDAMN PHONE.)
Ryder sings "Everybody Hurts," and I shit you not, half the Glee club just has flashbacks of getting slushied like that's the worst possible thing that could ever happen. I want to smack all of them. And Ryder's announcement is something else entirely - he was sexually assaulted by a babysitter when he was a kid. Sam and Artie are possibly the biggest douchebags EVER and just want to high-five him for having a girl touch his junk at such a young age. Schue says it's serious and he has to report it, Tina and Marley shoot the guys down and defend Ryder. But Ryder just gives in, high-fives the two jerks, and walks out.
WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK. I just... OK, I'll come back to this in a minute.
Kitty invites Ryder to dinner so they can bond, because she was molested, too. Kitty is really good in this scene, vulnerable and upset. And I’m glad they have each other. But.
Look, I don’t mind it when Glee takes on serious topics. It frustrates me when people say Glee should just stick to being silly and bubble-gum and top-40. Not only would that be boring to watch, but I think it severely underestimates what a lot of teenagers deal with every day. So yes, I’m glad Glee gives voice to the harder stuff. But this somehow feels like yet another random thing thrown onto this week’s enormous pile of unrelated events. It doesn’t resonate like it deserves to.
In the dark auditorium, New Directions (and a whole bunch of other random people) are swirling their flashlights around and banging on trash cans to do a Stomp-esque version of “We Will Rock You.” The novelty of the darkness is really annoying in this performance. Can’t see a damn thing.
And with very literally no transition whatsoever, we’re out on the bleachers with Sue and Becky in matching tracksuits. Becky hates how she’s being treated by Coach Roz, and misses Sue. Sue says life is better as a trainer, where people respect her, and she’s done babysitting bratty high school students. So she sings “Little Girls” from Annie, and gee, did you know she was going to be Mrs. Hannigan on Broadway the minute she’s done filming this? She walks around the school (is she even allowed to be there?) throwing people around. It ends and she lies and says she doesn’t miss this school. Nope, not one bit.
Time for the ballet gala! Oh my gracious, Kurt, Rachel and Santana are drop-dead gorgeous in their formalwear. Kurt looks eight feet tall in that tux. Santana is elegantly sexy in the light purple dress that looks like it was wrapped around her torso. Rachel is a lovely combination of pre- and post-makeover - still some sweet innocence to her look, but more grown up.
Santana is still trying to act like she doesn’t care, but Isabelle cuts through it and says every little girl starts out dreaming of being a ballerina. Apparently Isabelle has the magic touch, because Santana finally confesses that she did take ballet, that dancing was a transformative experience for her.
The quartet sings “At the Ballet” from A Chorus Line, and I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I LOVE it. It sounds gorgeous, I could listen to them and look at those beautiful dresses all night long. It's a thing of beauty. And yet... How long would you guess the average Glee song runs? Two minutes, give or take? "At the Ballet" runs close to six minutes long, and while it's beautiful and Rachel and Santana's voices do a bit of soaring at the end, it's not exactly a high-energy piece. So while I was entranced by it when it first aired simply because it was them and it was pretty, its effect on the episode as a whole is slow and sleepy. It drags. I don't want to say that, because I love the New York group so much, but it really does.
Coach Roz drags Becky into Principal Figgins' office because Becky is, well, giving back the trash talk Roz gives to everyone else. But it's all just an excuse for Becky to talk to Figgins, because... "I need to tell you something." Apparently, we will never find out exactly what she says. WTF?
The power is back on, but Schue wants to say one more thing about the power of singing a capella. It's important, because clearly no one in this group has any EXPERIENCE with these things (*cough* BLAINE WARBLER *cough*).
Ryder's still IM-ing with Katie, who feebly tries to deny she's in Glee. He still hasn't CALLED HER FUCKING PHONE. I don't even. I can't even. This is why this story is dead to me. They try for a minute to make us think it's Kitty, but it so isn't.
Santana shows up late for her first NYADA extension class, and the dance teacher is thoroughly unimpressed with her normal arrogance. This must be a wake-up call for Santana, who nearly always kept the entirety of McKinley High in line with nothing but her sharp words. You ain’t in Ohio anymore, honey. Wee baby Santana shows up and tells grown-up Santana not to forget about her again.
The final New Directions number for the day is “The Longest Time,” and their resident Warbler inexplicably does not sing a single line.
This is a hot mess of an episode, any way you slice it. The darkened school is an utterly ridiculous premise if you let yourself think about it for more than two seconds - even by Glee standards. The catfishing thing has gone totally off the rails. Blaine spies on Sue with absolutely zero results or connection to any other part of the episode. They can’t even properly keep the “unplugged” theme going the whole time. The sexual assault story deserved much better treatment than it got. And Sam and Artie are total dickheads for no apparent reason and with no repercussions.
New York isn’t much better, and it appears to have absolutely ZERO thematic connection to the Ohio side. For at least the second time this season, we get our hopes up that Kurt is actually going to have something to do, is actually going to have a story of his own, but it turns out he’s only scaffolding so that one of his roommates can come to one epiphany or another (I’m looking at you, too, “Guilty Pleasures”). What a waste. I’m all for Santana having some character development, but nothing about this seemed to fit or flow.
This might get my biggest thumbs-down for the entire season. The stories are jumbled and all tossed in a pile with no links between them. I was far from un-spoiled last season, and even the promotional materials as close as the WEEK before this aired included a whole thing with Blaine as Nightbird, with the boys interrogating Becky… where did it go and in favor of what? Was this hastily re-written or re-edited in the days before it aired? It certainly has that feel.
Am I being too harsh? Did anyone actually like “Lights Out?”