Answer for California: Before her death, Ann would nominate David as guardian of her minor child; this is a legal process. All near relatives would be notified (by law) and would have the option to attend the guardianship hearing; this is where Carol could protest if she chose, but it wouldn't do any good. Given Beth's age (over 14, so the court would give strong weight to her stated preference) and the fact that there is absolutely nothing the court would see as objectionable about David and that Ann nominated him as guardian, there is no way that the judge would overrule this in Carol's favor. David would be given legal "temporary guardianship" which lasts 30 days, and before the 30 days is over, Beth will be 18 and the whole thing will be a non-issue because she'll be able to live wherever she wants.
This is per my friend who has been a family law paralegal -- i.e., doing just this kind of thing for a living -- for 30+ years in a Bay Area county.
2. It is possible - and it has happened - that courts will see a gay person as an inappropriate guardian. Carol may be advised that she has a case on these grounds. However, once Beth is 18 it's all moot, she can go wherever she wants.
Yeah, those two weeks aren't going to make a difference. Two months, maybe, but two weeks lapse between Ann dying and Beth turning 18 wouldn't mean anything.
1. No, not unless someone called them in for some reason. Child Protective Services is understaffed, over-worked, and disinclined to do anything they're not legally required to do; they don't go around looking for cases - especially not almost-adult teenagers in no physical danger
( ... )
It's touching that he promised to help his niece, but this arrangement doesn't sound all that helpful - why would she not be better off staying with her grandmother while she finishes high school? OP seems to indicate the grandmother doesn't live in the same area as Anne, so either way Beth is moving away?
And I've had friends with toxic enough relatives that given a similar situation, they'd choose to live with just about anyone besides Carol if they believed it was safe, and an uncle-on-the-fringes-of-one's-life would be better than someone picked from the phone book.
That being said, I agree that Anne making a unilateral decision on this would tend to provoke resentment, as opposed to, say, Anne + Beth coming to the decision together, or Beth confronting Anne with "no way do I want to live with Carol".
You're correct - both Carol and David live in other areas than Ann/Beth. So either way Beth is moving.
Thank you for the input on Beth's reaction to the unilateral decision. Ann and Beth have a close relationship and trust each other - there's no good reason for Ann not to discuss this with Beth ahead of time, even if it's just "And I'll make sure you don't go to Carol". But even that seems unnecessary - I guess I really need to decide if the dramatic reveal is cool enough to go to all this effort to preserve it. Probably not.
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This is per my friend who has been a family law paralegal -- i.e., doing just this kind of thing for a living -- for 30+ years in a Bay Area county.
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OP seems to indicate the grandmother doesn't live in the same area as Anne, so either way Beth is moving away?
And I've had friends with toxic enough relatives that given a similar situation, they'd choose to live with just about anyone besides Carol if they believed it was safe, and an uncle-on-the-fringes-of-one's-life would be better than someone picked from the phone book.
That being said, I agree that Anne making a unilateral decision on this would tend to provoke resentment, as opposed to, say, Anne + Beth coming to the decision together, or Beth confronting Anne with "no way do I want to live with Carol".
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Thank you for the input on Beth's reaction to the unilateral decision. Ann and Beth have a close relationship and trust each other - there's no good reason for Ann not to discuss this with Beth ahead of time, even if it's just "And I'll make sure you don't go to Carol". But even that seems unnecessary - I guess I really need to decide if the dramatic reveal is cool enough to go to all this effort to preserve it. Probably not.
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