Leave a comment

Comments 14

silentg_canada April 7 2013, 18:17:15 UTC
Here's a link I found, searching the term [male victims of sexual assault by females]. Using the term "sexual assault" rather than "rape" might be more useful, and including the exact phrase "female perpetrator" might help as well.

http://kalimunro.com/wp/articles-info/sexual-emotional-abuse/male-sexual-abuse-victims-of-female-perpetrators

Reply

silentg_canada April 7 2013, 18:51:43 UTC
that's a really good link, thanks

Reply

silentg_canada April 7 2013, 19:13:44 UTC
YVW.

Reply


pico_the_great April 8 2013, 05:00:19 UTC
Two things for you:

One: strange as it may seem, I'm going to quote TVTropes at you: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DoubleStandardAbuseFemaleOnMale and http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DoubleStandardRapeFemaleOnMale both talk about this matter, and you can see the various examples, both stereotypical and non-stereotypical, and you can decide for yourself what is and isn't right for your character.

Two: it depends hugely on your character's culture. In a whole lot of the world's cultures, men are supposed to be macho and strong and suchlike, so you'll have that playing in, but exactly how this event makes him "less of a man" (as it's percieved, by him or by others) will differ according to culture and time. It also depends - sorry, but it's true - whether she's attractive or not; if she is, the event ( ... )

Reply

pico_the_great April 8 2013, 15:37:57 UTC
do you mean attractive to him or just say, conventionally attractive?

also thanks for the tropes links tthose are pretty helpful because the situation, if reversed, would definitely be pretty bad

Reply

pico_the_great April 12 2013, 01:43:56 UTC
Either one. "Conventially attractive" leads to other men not believing him being in distress ("was she hot?" "uh... I guess" "so what're you complaining about?") "Attractive to him" is bad in a different way - the "what're you complaining about? you're getting free sex from a hot girl" would be coming from the inside, and I don't know if I'd say it's worse than social pressure, but it's certainly bad. Let's put it this way: as long as she's not completely unattractive, he'd going to be having this. ("c'mon man, was she a complete dog?" "uh - no - " "so? what're you complaining about?")

You're welcome! TVTropes might be a timesuck, but i find it helpful to see what the average reaction is to a situation.

Reply

cheriola April 8 2013, 17:06:40 UTC
It's not just about her attractiveness, but also about his sexuality. If he's gay or asexual (and not still stuck in the denial phase, as could well be the case with especially an asexual teenager), he's not going to buy into the whole 'lucky bastard' myth. Depending on how much in the closet he is, he might still act like it's no big deal around others (especially other men) just to avoid 'suspicion'.

Reply


sethg_prime April 8 2013, 13:37:54 UTC
One technical detail that may be relevant: Some men can become sexually aroused, have an erection, and ejaculate when they are being stimulated in the right place, even if they are being raped rather than participating in voluntary sex. As you can imagine, this just intensifies the phenomenon of victims thinking after the fact that whatever they experienced must not qualify as rape.

Reply

cheriola April 8 2013, 17:22:39 UTC
Make that most men. Though if the character is well educated, he should be aware of those reactions to physical stimuli. What he might not know is that fear can cause an erection, as well. (Most people think high adrenaline and stress will always lead to losing an erection, if anything.) Also, given the popularity of jokes about 'morning wood', I take it that not many people know that a man always gets several erections per night, unless there's something physically wrong with him. It doesn't matter what he dreams about, this is about hormone cycles. The rapist could use that against him and wake him in the middle of his REM phase, pretending he must be looking forward to it or dreaming about her. Most people can't remember their dreams, so he might believe her. Especially if he's already developing Stockholm Syndrome, which is a possibility given the duration of his hostage situation.

Reply


cheriola April 8 2013, 18:05:50 UTC
I had been researching a similar topic some time ago. Here's some of my results ( ... )

Reply


iltaru April 10 2013, 14:28:58 UTC
I have a male friend who was drugged and sexually assaulted a few years ago. He once described to me that his main feelings were of confusion, anger, frustration, and a sense of betrayal by his own body, that he was getting hard even when he didn't want to. He said that he spent time, in his mind, trying really hard not to think about the fact that what she did to him was 'technically' pleasurable (if that makes sense?) and to separate his mind from his bodily experiences in the same way you try to do that when you're experiencing pain ( ... )

Reply

iltaru April 14 2013, 15:36:33 UTC
op here, thank you for sharing this. if you would like to share more, that's your choice. :) as i said i do really want to portray his reaction and feelings accurately and not trivialize anything

Reply

The help i got from Lord Bubuza iltaru November 23 2021, 12:07:47 UTC
I have never seen a spell that is as active like lord Bubuza spell, I contacted him when all hope was lost, when no one could help me stop my cheating boyfriend from cheating, He broke up with me for no reason. I love him and didn't want him out of my life but Lord Bubuza told me not to worry that my boyfriend will come back begging me on his knees to forgive and accept him back. I did as lord Bubuza requested and after he casted the spell I was so surprised when my boyfriend came back begging me on his knees. I got results 16 hours after the spell was casted. This man save my relationship and we are happily married now. Contact lord Bubuza for help via WhatsApp: +1 505 569 0396 or email: lordbubuzamiraclework @ hotmail . com

Reply


Leave a comment

Up