How strict would a young Romani dude from England be about marimé issues?

[agritante]

First of all, thanks everyone for all the help I got in my last post here! This is way long so have a cut:

Comments

[willowcabin]

I know very little about this subject but this article may be useful regarding the homosexuality issue if you haven't seen it already?

I'm from the UK and it's fairly normal for a 22 year old to live with their parents but it's not necessarily expected.

[agritante]

Thank you! No, I hadn't seen it. I'm going over there to read it right now.

[eleanorb]

I don't know how representative this case is of British Romani or Gypsy culture but I'll put it here for you anyway.

I work with a man who comes from a very old gypsy family in the South East of England. He came out as gay as a teenager and was immediately disowned by his family. He eventually went into foster care and went to University, the first person in his family ever to do so. Since being kicked out by his parents he hasn't spoken to any family member, close or extended, and his own brother will cross the road if he sees him on the street. Whether this is common in UK gypsy families I don't know but he gives the impression it is.

[agritante]

Wow, that's unfortunate. I think I can assume at least that general and open acceptance by the community is not something I can realistically give him, considering this and the article I just read.
I can still count on the fact that not everyone has the same opinion and his parents could be different, I suppose. Thanks for your help :)

[electricdruid]

You could, perhaps, consider making his mother someone who married into the community. She would bring her old values with her and could stand a chance of influencing her husband.

[agritante]

That could be an option. Although I'm not sure it's actually necessary. Even in this article I was linked to, though it talked about a tradition of homophobia, it also talked about all the people who are challenging these views within the community, and he mentions these extreme views being held by "old people". So I don't think I'd need for it to be brought by someone from "outside" really. I would probably need to make his parents a bit on the young side, preferably, which is fine..

[alextiefling]

It's quite normal these days for 22 year old UK men to live with their parents - especially in Romani families. When I worked with Romani teenagers, I got the impression that their parents strongly expected them to stick home and work in the family business for the forseeable future.

[alextiefling]

I should add that at the time, I was myself a young man in my early 20s, living with my parents.

[agritante]

Ah, good news! That's what I was hoping for. Thanks!

[lolmac]

I did a lot of research into Slavic Romany traditions, specifically including marimé, but it was a couple of years ago.

Much will depend on how assimilated they are. The more traditional, the more a given family is likely to stick by the mindset (homophobia, anti-education for women, arranged marriages for girls, rejection of external authority) as well as traditions such as the marimé practices (segregated laundry, for example). Tolerance of homosexuality is going to be rare -- the underlying culture is both macho and inclined to resist change.

I'm trying to remember if I've ever heard of or read about a tradition of tattooing amongst any Romany group, and I'm coming up blank. I don't think it is, which means that your protagonist's getting a tattoo will probably be counter-traditional rather than traditional.

[agritante]

Thanks for your answer! The more traditional and less assimilated families are the ones I've studies about too (assuming you were studying?). It seems whoever's providing material for anthro students out there isn't interested in the examples of more or less assimilated average Joes living in England..
I guess the exact level of tradition is going to end up having to depend a bit on my instincts, some logic and artistic liberty. I suppose I'll need to be keeping in mind both these traditions and the situation he'd have lived in at his exact location and time, with some added common sense.

You're probably right, it seems more likely that a tattoo would be frowned upon than looked up to. Luckily this tattoo business is a plot point that I can change, in fact it might be more interesting like this. I remain confused by the Yahoo Answers person, but since the subject doesn't get mentioned anywhere else..

[lolmac]

I was doing research for a MacGyver story, in fact. I was able to use marimé as a plot point.

I suspect that the Yahoo Answers person was the "Gypsy" equivalent of the thousands and thousands of Cherokee Princesses that infest the country.

[agritante]

Ah, got it! Research for a fic sounds more fun than writing a book review..
Yeah, what with claiming they all wore eyeliner and whatnot, I was side-eyeing the Yahoo Answers person pretty hard, but I figured it was best not to dismiss anything during the initial research.

[nineveh_uk]

If you aren't having luck with Google, try using the "Romany" spelling.

[eee_eph]

Agreed, in the UK I've only seen it spelt 'Romany'.

[agritante]

Thanks, I'll try that. I always see it with an 'i', so it didn't occur to me.