Confessions
Title: Confessions
Beta: muramatsu_aoi
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, Jaejoong/?
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Drama, Humor
Summary: Jaejoong has a confession to make.
Today was the day.
Jaejoong groaned and pushed away the arm that was wrapped loosely around his waist. The owner of the arm grumbled in response and made sure to cop a feel of Jaejoong’s ass before he could slip out of bed and make his way to the bathroom.
“You’re such an asshole,” Jaejoong snapped as he checked his phone, “I told you to set an alarm for me!” He threw one of his pillows at the other before he ran to the bathroom to shower and get dressed for school. As soon as he came out, his boyfriend was still sprawled all over his bed, and Jaejoong could only roll his eyes.
He took his set of keys off the table and picked up his bag off the floor. After he’d slung it over his shoulder and had taken his folder from its usual spot on his desk, he turned back to look at the sleeping figure that was tangled in his bed sheets.
“You’re such a bum.”
The other man chuckled, and Jaejoong turned to leave. He picked up the letterman jacket that was lying on his swivel chair, and as he made his way out of the bedroom, his boyfriend called out.
“Hey! Don’t take my jacket!”
o-o-o
Jaejoong sat on the playground swing and waited for Yunho to come and fetch him. It was their routine to spend the first night of summer vacation together, and it’d been going on since their first year. They would talk about their goals, their fears, and anything under the sun.
Now they were recently graduated seniors, and Jaejoong could feel himself clinging even more to this small tradition of theirs. Yunho had always accused him of being the overly sentimental, nostalgic type of person, and everything he was feeling totally confirmed that fact. Jaejoong shut his eyes and let his face fall into his hands as he tried to think of what he was going to do later that night.
I think I love you.
How hard would those words be to say? He’d heard them over the years, from girls and guys, but he’d never said them to anyone. After years of bottling up his feelings for Yunho, would it even be smart for him to say something now? He and Yunho were both going to different universities, what if he stupidly confessed now and ended up finding someone better in college?
His heart clenched tightly in his chest, and he shook his head profusely.
No - no one else would do. In his foolish mind which was driven by an even more delusional and foolish love, he still didn’t want anyone but Yunho. He wasn’t the kind of person to let go of things easily, and how could he fall out of love with Yunho anyway? It was a ridiculous notion to him, and no matter how many times Yoochun told him he could still meet someone else, he was determined.
It didn’t matter that Yunho had a tendency to get out of relationships just as quickly as he’d fallen into them. He loved Yunho, and no one else.
“Have you been waiting long?”
Jaejoong was torn out of his thoughts by the sound of Yunho’s voice. He looked up, and when he saw Yunho looking down at him, he clenched the swing a little tighter.
“No…not really,” Jaejoong said softly before he stood up. His chest brushed against Yunho’s, and his heart skipped in his chest. They were standing so close to one another, just a few centimeters lay between their lips. It wouldn’t take that much effort to simply -
“Do you want to go to the beach?”
“…what?”
Yunho chuckled and reached forward to smoothen down Jaejoong’s hair in a fond gesture. He withdrew from Jaejoong and stuck his hands into the pockets of his letterman jacket, “There’s a fair or something, so I figured we should go together. I’ll win you a stuffed toy or two, and then you can buy me food. How does that sound?”
Jaejoong scowled and punched Yunho’s shoulder as a blush crept across his cheeks.
“I don’t need you to win me stuffed toys. I can win my own fucking stuffed toys thank you very much -“
“But I need some excuse to play!” Yunho teased as he took hold of Jaejoong’s wrist and began to lead him in the direction of his car, “If anyone gives you weird looks, just say you won them for your sisters. Besides, haven’t we been doing this routine for years now?”
Both teenagers made their way into the car, and as soon as Yunho had turned on the ignition, he glanced at Jaejoong,
“I’m going to miss you when you go.”
Jaejoong turned his head and looked at his best friend. His heart clenched in his chest as he stared at Yunho, and he turned his head away. He couldn’t bear to look at Yunho any longer, not when his confession was threatening to spill out at any second.
“I’m going to miss you too,” he whispered.
o-o-o
Jaejoong stared at the closed door to the classroom and sighed. He was late, and his professor didn’t tolerate tardiness. Rather than just setting himself up for a scolding, he turned around and began to make his way to where he knew Yoochun would be. He walked slowly down the brick path, admiring the sight of warm colored autumn leaves, and just as he was about to take a picture of a particularly nice view, his phone began to ring.
“Hello?”
“You idiot!” Yoochun shouted across the line, “You forgot about our date! Where the hell are you?”
Jaejoong pursed his lips and furrowed his brows in thought, “What -“
“How dare you tell me to take a twelve hour flight to see your sorry ass and then just forget about me! You don’t seem very fucking lonely to me -“
The barrage of curse words continued for a minute or so, and as soon as Yoochun was finished, Jaejoong chuckled. “Are you done?”
“I’m so breathless I feel like I’m going to get a fucking asthma attack,” Yoochun snapped irritably. “Now come on, you’re cutting class today and showing me around the city of love. We’re going to eat macaroons, drown in coffee, smoke our lives away, pretend to be cultured, and act like we have love lives.”
Jaejoong laughed and adjusted the way his bag was slung over his shoulder, “Did you and Changmin break up already?”
“Dickhead - of course not. Changmin can’t get enough of me - he even let me kiss him in front of his sister yesterday.”
“That’s just gross, poor her, and for your information, I was just asking,” Jaejoong said, and he stopped in his tracks when he recognized the person standing only a few meters away. Everything from the annoyingly styled hair, the ridiculous flip flops, the large forehead and the cigarette hanging from his lips screamed of a certain someone he hadn’t seen in months.
In seconds, Jaejoong had managed to hang up his phone and run over to Yoochun, crushing him in a tight hug. He wrapped his legs around the other and squeezed him tightly, pouring in months of longing for one of his best friends in his embrace.
“I fucking missed you!” Jaejoong yelled as he clung to Yoochun in a koala-like fashion. He buried his face into the neck of his soulmate, “God you idiot.” After a minute had passed, he set his legs back down onto the cement and stepped away.
They looked at each other, and Yoochun shook his head as he laughed. He pulled Jaejoong close and crushed him once again in a tight hug.
“You ready for tonight?” he asked.
Jaejoong held Yoochun tighter and said nothing in reply.
o-o-o
Yoochun told him to say it in as few words as possible - that he should just say it quick and easy. Three words were going to suffice, and they’d be enough to express everything he’d been feeling for the past years. Once again, the thought of confessing his feelings made his heart race and his palms sweat in fear.
Would they really be enough?
Jaejoong clung tighter to the ridiculously large teddy bear Yunho had won him and watched as Yunho won him another stuffed toy.
“Why do you keep doing this?” Jaejoong said with a frown as he accepted the Hello Kitty plush toy, “I told you, I’m not a girl.”
“I know,” Yunho said as he took the teddy bear out of Jaejoong’s hands. He kept it glued to his side and glanced at Jaejoong, “But, you like the stuffed toys, don’t you? I mean…you’ve always kept them.”
Jaejoong looked away from Yunho and replied, “I like the Hello Kitty ones the best.” He kept his gaze focused elsewhere and didn’t bother to tell Yunho the entire truth. After all, it was still not the right time for the other to know that the only reason he kept the stuffed toys in his room was because they were gifts from him. It was at that moment that Jaejoong wondered if Yunho did the same thing for the people he’d dated.
Did Yunho win stuffed toys for them too?
Jaejoong frowned at the thought and Yunho noticed. He frowned and moved closer to Jaejoong, “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” Jaejoong muttered irritably.
Yunho let out a sigh, “You’re the only one I bother doing this sort of stuff for, and now it seems like you don’t appreciate it.” He reached over and pinched Jaejoong’s cheek, “God, whoever dates you will be so unlucky.”
Jaejoong scowled, “The people you date are the unlucky ones, imagine, who wants to date a guy that likes to play stupid games and win stupid stuffed toys?”
“Hey, just saying, but you like those stupid stuffed toys.” Yunho grumbled, “Let’s just settle that whoever dates either of us will be unlucky because we both like stupid things.”
He hugged the Hello Kitty toy a little tighter in order to conceal the happy smile that had crossed his face after hearing that he was the only one Yunho bothered winning toys for. Jaejoong said nothing and simply walked, listening to Yunho complain about how he didn’t appreciate him enough.
Oh, if he only knew.
“I was thinking,” Yunho said as he led Jaejoong over to a drink stand. He fiddled with his wallet and bought two Sprites, well aware of Jaejoong’s disdain for Coke. He turned to Jaejoong and smiled, “I should visit you next summer, don’t you think?”
“In Paris?” Jaejoong asked.
“Yeah,” Yunho said as he handed Jaejoong his Sprite. He smiled and pulled at Jaejoong’s arm to lead him away. “I think it’d make for a good adventure of sorts, don’t you think?” his hand slipped down from Jaejoong’s elbow to grasp gently at the other’s wrist, “Unless you think I’m lame by then?”
“I already think you’re lame,” Jaejoong joked as he leaned closer to Yunho.
Yunho chuckled, “I guess. I’m still addicted to these lame carnival games, and you’re always talking about how badly I dress -“
“I still like…” Jaejoong swallowed hard and forced himself to speak, “I still like how you are though. It’s what makes you…you, and I don’t want that to change while I’m away, okay?
The hand that’d been holding Jaejoong’s wrist released it, and Jaejoong turned his head to look at Yunho. But before he could say anything, Yunho had already taken him into his big arms. The stuffed toys were crushed between their bodies, but Jaejoong could still feel the comforting touch of Yunho’s body against his.
“Of course not,” Yunho mumbled, Hello Kitty’s head muffing his voice slightly as he spoke. “You better not find some fancy person to replace me. I know I can’t speak French, I can’t cook, and I can’t look nearly as fashionable as you do, but…you won’t forget about me, right?”
Jaejoong squeezed Yunho tightly, his heart constricting in his chest.
“I could never do that Yunho.”
o-o-o
Yoochun took a sip of his coffee, and Jaejoong watched him carefully.
“Is it good?”
“Yeah, it’s good,” Yoochun replied as he took another sip. He glanced down at the dark liquid before he raised his eyes to meet Jaejoong’s. “Changmin says he’ll drag all of us to visit you when it’s Christmas.”
“But I always come home when it’s Christmas,” Jaejoong said with a slight frown as he took a pinch out of his bagel, “What’s the point?”
Yoochun shrugged, “He probably just wants to try out authentic French food or something.” He set down his mug and clasped his hands together, “So…are you going to tell me about it?”
“About what?” Jaejoong asked, a blush decorating his cheeks, “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“It’s just that you look insanely happy, and I’m betting that he has to be good in bed because you’ve got hickeys all over your neck -“
Jaejoong clasped at his neck and scowled, “Fucker.”
Yoochun smirked, “Fucked.”
“Aish, shut up,” Jaejoong chided. He waved Yoochun away and then tried to pat away the blush that was on his cheeks. “You’ve always been such a prick. You know what, if Yunho was here -“
“Well he’s not,” Yoochun replied as he reached over to take Jaejoong’s bagel off his plate and put it on his own. “Or well, he’s just not here right now. Are you going to be seeing him later?”
Jaejoong nodded slowly, “Yeah -“
“Nervous?”
“A bit…?”
Yoochun chuckled, “Well, it’s only been a couple of months since the last time you guys saw each other? Nothing too terrible has happened since then, right? Well, aside from the fact that -“
Jaejoong scowled, “Hey, aren’t you supposed to be on my side?”
“So, how are you going to tell him?” Yoochun asked as he cocked his head to the side and chewed the piece of bagel in his mouth slowly. He wiped his mouth and reached for a napkin, “This is big news, so -“
“Why is it so hard to tell Yunho things?” Jaejoong mumbled as he buried his face into his arms, “Can’t you just…can’t you just tell him for me?”
Yoochun shook his head and reached out to take Jaejoong’s hand. He squeezed it tightly, and Jaejoong looked up at him.
“Everything will be fine. Don’t worry.”
Jaejoong bit his lip and sighed. He certainly hoped everything would be fine.
o-o-o
They walked up to the edge of boardwalk, and as usual, Jaejoong sat down on the railing while Yunho stood protectively in front of him. He stretched his arms out into the air and relished the last rays of sun that warmed his back. The sea breeze blew and tickled his face, and at that moment, he forgot about the weight of his confession.
“Jaejoong.”
Like sand falling from his grasp, the moment slipped away. Jaejoong opened his eyes and placed his hands back down to grasp the railing. He stared at Yunho, “Yes?” His eyes ran over the other’s handsome face, and the longer he stared, the more he was reminded of why he felt the way he did.
How could anyone just not feel something for Jung Yunho? He didn’t know if it was love, but…maybe, it would develop to that sometime in the future. What he did know though was that he felt something for Yunho that was more than a friend should.
“Whenever you sit here, I think you’re going to fall off,” Yunho said worriedly as he stepped closer and put his hands near Jaejoong’s. He was leaning forward, and if he leaned any closer, Jaejoong felt like he’d fall off the edge and plunge into the waters below. “But…I know you won’t.”
Jaejoong wrinkled his nose, “That didn’t make much sense.”
“I know,” Yunho said with a laugh and a smile as he backed off. He glanced at the Hello Kitty and teddy bear that were seated on the boardwalk flooring before he turned his eyes back to Jaejoong. “It’s just…I feel weird knowing that you’ll be leaving.”
“It’s not for forever.”
“I know, but…” the taller boy sighed and looked down. It took him a few seconds before he raised his eyes, and there was something about the way that he gazed at Jaejoong that stole the latter’s breath. “You’re my…”
Jaejoong let a sad smile grace his lips, and when he let go of the railing for just a brief moment, Yunho immediately ran up to take hold of his waist.
“Jaejoong! What the fuck!“
He placed his hands near the base of Yunho’s neck and held his shoulders tightly. Despite the possible consequences, Jaejoong trailed his right hand upward and cupped Yunho’s face.
“I won’t fall - don’t worry.”
Yunho stared up at him and the look on his face softened, “I won’t let you.”
With those words, Yunho had pushed Jaejoong off the edge. Although there’d been others who had caught Jaejoong’s eye for a while, none of them had ever eclipsed Yunho. None of them could make his heart race as quickly as Yunho did, and Jaejoong didn’t think anyone would be able to make him feel the same way that Yunho made him feel.
There would be no more turning back, and Jaejoong was finally filled past the brim with the resolve to do what his heart had been telling him to do for so many years.
It was time to tell Yunho.
o-o-o
Jaejoong put his stolen jacket on and waved goodbye to Yoochun as he set off in the opposite direction. The walk to the Eiffel Tower wouldn’t be long enough to get him tired, but it would be enough to give him some time to think. Perhaps it was an unusual place for him to go to, but for some reason, he liked going to the monument. Although it was sure to be crowded, despite all the people, there was something about the place that helped him sort out his thoughts.
He let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair.
How would he tell Yunho?
In all honesty, he’d thought he’d have more time to prepare his words. But no, Yoochun just had to ruin everything and drag Yunho over for a spontaneous visit. Jaejoong huffed and pulled his jacket closer, cursing his soulmate mentally. Now he would have to tell Yunho.
Although he wasn’t the same boy that he’d been months previously, he was still mostly, the same Jaejoong that he’d been since high school. Perhaps he was a little more experienced in more ways than one now, but he was still the same teenager that had problems with confrontations and confessions. Just because he was slightly more grown up now, it wouldn’t make talking about his feelings any easier than back when he was just recently out of high school.
While he’d had time to mull over what he now felt, he still hadn’t had enough time to figure out how he would talk to Yunho about it.
His phone vibrated, and Jaejoong pulled his phone out of his pocket to check who the message was from.
I thought you told me you would show me the Eiffel Tower, but now I’m here alone. :(
Jaejoong stopped in his tracks, but before he could turn away and try to avoid Yunho, his phone began to ring. He stared at his phone’s screen for a while before he accepted the call nervously and raised it up to his ear.
“I see you,” Yunho said happily across the line, and he waved at Jaejoong from where he was standing. “So I guess you came just in time to show me around. I always knew you were psychic.”
He hung up, and Jaejoong was frozen to the spot as he watched Yunho begin to walk up to him.
o-o-o
They were both leaning against the railing and facing the setting sun. They’d been silent for a while, and the only sound now was that of the waves crashing against the shore. Jaejoong finally let go of the last of his anxiety with a sigh then clasped his hands together.
This was it.
“Yunho…I have something to tell you.”
His best friend turned his head, and Jaejoong felt his heart clench tightly. Who knew what was to come? Would he be met with joy, or would he be welcomed with disappointment?
One thing was sure, he would never know unless he said something. It was a risk, but it was one he was now willing to make. Although his young heart didn’t believe that anyone but Yunho would do, maybe one day, that would change. Maybe he would regret this choice, but if he didn’t say something, then he was sure he’d regret that too.
No one knew what the future held for them, and now it was his turn to completely let go of the fear and embrace the unknown.
“I’m sorry you just had to hear this now,” Jaejoong started slowly. He forced a smile although he was all bursting nerves on the inside, “I’m so stupid, and I know this isn’t smooth or suave or anything, but I had to tell you this before I left, and…“
“Jaejoong?”
“God you’re an idiot.”
o-o-o
Yunho grinned and reached out for him, taking him into a warm embrace. Jaejoong felt the butterflies in his stomach, and he wrapped his arms around Yunho in return. He buried his face into the other’s neck and breathed in deeply. Yunho was murmuring something into his ear, but Jaejoong was currently deaf to him - his heart was beating much too loudly.
For so long, all he’d wanted was this.
“I love you.”
Jaejoong tensed in Yunho’s grip and tried to pull back, but the other was still holding onto him so tightly. How had the words escaped his mouth? He was sure that he hadn’t said anything -
“You’re such an idiot,” Yunho muttered as he pulled Jaejoong closer, “I know you Jaejoong. I know you better than anyone else in the world, and I just know, okay? I love you.”
He pulled away to kiss Jaejoong deeply, and when Yunho stepped back, Jaejoong was dazed.
“I told you not to get my jacket this morning,” Yunho chided as he pulled Jaejoong closer by gripping the fabric, “You never listen, and why do you always try to hide things from me -“
“I was afraid. I didn’t think you would feel the same way so soon, and it’s only been a few months since -“
“You are an idiot, again,” Yunho murmured. He kissed the top of Jaejoong’s head and tilted his chin up, “But I love you…reluctantly, anyway.” He smiled when the corners of Jaejoong’s lips quirked upward, “Now tell me the words I’ve been waiting to hear since Yoochun and I arrived last night.”
“I love you,” Jaejoong whispered before he hooked his arms around Yunho’s neck and pulled him close, feeling as stupid and silly as he’d felt months ago.
o-o-o
There was silence, and before Yunho could say anything, Jaejoong turned around to leave. He didn’t bother to pick up the stuffed toys Yunho had won for him and tried to flee, but a hand pulled at his wrist. He flinched, but instead of meeting something rough, his lips met the softness of Yunho’s mouth.
He was floored.
Yunho pulled away and shook his shoulders, “You’re an idiot.”
“No, no you are!” Jaejoong stuttered, unsure of what to say instead. He couldn’t meet Yunho’s eyes, and so the latter had to tilt his chin up. He reluctantly met Yunho’s gaze, and he could feel his insides squirm.
Yunho frowned, “Seriously?”
“You can’t just call me an idiot!” Jaejoong yelled. He stepped back and shoved Yunho before he reached over to pick up the Hello Kitty toy. He used it to whack Yunho several times. “Do you know how hard it was for me to try to…to try to say something? You can’t just - “ he hit Yunho again, “Play with my feelings like this!”
“You’re leaving tomorrow, and that’s all you’re going to say to me? You’re just going to call me an idiot then leave? No meaningful goodbye or romantic love confession? Jaejoong, you’re really disappointing me and I’m starting to feel neglected -“
Jaejoong continued to smack Yunho with the Hello Kitty toy unendingly.
“You’re humiliating me!”
“No, you’re humiliating me! Stop attacking me with a Hello Kitty toy!”
The Hello Kitty toy was tugged out of Jaejoong’s grasp, and Yunho laughed and held Jaejoong close. “Stop being so difficult, and come on, it’s cute that you’re blushing like this. Just kiss me some more if you want, or -“
Jaejoong wrinkled his nose, “I kind of want to go to Paris now. This is humiliating.”
“You know what’s humiliating?” Yunho said with an amused smile, “Death by Hello Kitty, that’s what. So come on, stop being an idiot, and just kiss me already.”
“I’m not an idiot,” Jaejoong mumbled, “And maybe I don’t want to kiss you anymore.”
“You’re my idiot, now come on.” Yunho said with a laugh, “One last kiss before you fly off to Paris and find someone more fashionable and -“
Jaejoong pulled Yunho closely and kissed him. When he pulled away, he scowled.
“In a couple of months, I’ll probably be confessing my undying love for a handsome prince with a fancy apartment that overlooks the Eiffel tower.”
Yunho laughed and leaned down, “We’ll see about that.” He murmured before he leaned down and kissed Jaejoong once again.
Author’s Note: Whooooo! My freedom is approaching. ^^ I’m going to write so much, so I hope you guys look forward to that. :3 Also, the whole pattern of this fic was pretty much inspired by the format of Reply 1997, and yeah. Haha. I haven’t watched the drama, but I kind of know it bounces between the past and the present. I hope this fic was able to surprise you guys somewhat, and thank you so much for reading and commenting! ~ ♥
Beta: muramatsu_aoi
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, Jaejoong/?
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Drama, Humor
Summary: Jaejoong has a confession to make.
Today was the day.
Jaejoong groaned and pushed away the arm that was wrapped loosely around his waist. The owner of the arm grumbled in response and made sure to cop a feel of Jaejoong’s ass before he could slip out of bed and make his way to the bathroom.
“You’re such an asshole,” Jaejoong snapped as he checked his phone, “I told you to set an alarm for me!” He threw one of his pillows at the other before he ran to the bathroom to shower and get dressed for school. As soon as he came out, his boyfriend was still sprawled all over his bed, and Jaejoong could only roll his eyes.
He took his set of keys off the table and picked up his bag off the floor. After he’d slung it over his shoulder and had taken his folder from its usual spot on his desk, he turned back to look at the sleeping figure that was tangled in his bed sheets.
“You’re such a bum.”
The other man chuckled, and Jaejoong turned to leave. He picked up the letterman jacket that was lying on his swivel chair, and as he made his way out of the bedroom, his boyfriend called out.
“Hey! Don’t take my jacket!”
o-o-o
Jaejoong sat on the playground swing and waited for Yunho to come and fetch him. It was their routine to spend the first night of summer vacation together, and it’d been going on since their first year. They would talk about their goals, their fears, and anything under the sun.
Now they were recently graduated seniors, and Jaejoong could feel himself clinging even more to this small tradition of theirs. Yunho had always accused him of being the overly sentimental, nostalgic type of person, and everything he was feeling totally confirmed that fact. Jaejoong shut his eyes and let his face fall into his hands as he tried to think of what he was going to do later that night.
I think I love you.
How hard would those words be to say? He’d heard them over the years, from girls and guys, but he’d never said them to anyone. After years of bottling up his feelings for Yunho, would it even be smart for him to say something now? He and Yunho were both going to different universities, what if he stupidly confessed now and ended up finding someone better in college?
His heart clenched tightly in his chest, and he shook his head profusely.
No - no one else would do. In his foolish mind which was driven by an even more delusional and foolish love, he still didn’t want anyone but Yunho. He wasn’t the kind of person to let go of things easily, and how could he fall out of love with Yunho anyway? It was a ridiculous notion to him, and no matter how many times Yoochun told him he could still meet someone else, he was determined.
It didn’t matter that Yunho had a tendency to get out of relationships just as quickly as he’d fallen into them. He loved Yunho, and no one else.
“Have you been waiting long?”
Jaejoong was torn out of his thoughts by the sound of Yunho’s voice. He looked up, and when he saw Yunho looking down at him, he clenched the swing a little tighter.
“No…not really,” Jaejoong said softly before he stood up. His chest brushed against Yunho’s, and his heart skipped in his chest. They were standing so close to one another, just a few centimeters lay between their lips. It wouldn’t take that much effort to simply -
“Do you want to go to the beach?”
“…what?”
Yunho chuckled and reached forward to smoothen down Jaejoong’s hair in a fond gesture. He withdrew from Jaejoong and stuck his hands into the pockets of his letterman jacket, “There’s a fair or something, so I figured we should go together. I’ll win you a stuffed toy or two, and then you can buy me food. How does that sound?”
Jaejoong scowled and punched Yunho’s shoulder as a blush crept across his cheeks.
“I don’t need you to win me stuffed toys. I can win my own fucking stuffed toys thank you very much -“
“But I need some excuse to play!” Yunho teased as he took hold of Jaejoong’s wrist and began to lead him in the direction of his car, “If anyone gives you weird looks, just say you won them for your sisters. Besides, haven’t we been doing this routine for years now?”
Both teenagers made their way into the car, and as soon as Yunho had turned on the ignition, he glanced at Jaejoong,
“I’m going to miss you when you go.”
Jaejoong turned his head and looked at his best friend. His heart clenched in his chest as he stared at Yunho, and he turned his head away. He couldn’t bear to look at Yunho any longer, not when his confession was threatening to spill out at any second.
“I’m going to miss you too,” he whispered.
o-o-o
Jaejoong stared at the closed door to the classroom and sighed. He was late, and his professor didn’t tolerate tardiness. Rather than just setting himself up for a scolding, he turned around and began to make his way to where he knew Yoochun would be. He walked slowly down the brick path, admiring the sight of warm colored autumn leaves, and just as he was about to take a picture of a particularly nice view, his phone began to ring.
“Hello?”
“You idiot!” Yoochun shouted across the line, “You forgot about our date! Where the hell are you?”
Jaejoong pursed his lips and furrowed his brows in thought, “What -“
“How dare you tell me to take a twelve hour flight to see your sorry ass and then just forget about me! You don’t seem very fucking lonely to me -“
The barrage of curse words continued for a minute or so, and as soon as Yoochun was finished, Jaejoong chuckled. “Are you done?”
“I’m so breathless I feel like I’m going to get a fucking asthma attack,” Yoochun snapped irritably. “Now come on, you’re cutting class today and showing me around the city of love. We’re going to eat macaroons, drown in coffee, smoke our lives away, pretend to be cultured, and act like we have love lives.”
Jaejoong laughed and adjusted the way his bag was slung over his shoulder, “Did you and Changmin break up already?”
“Dickhead - of course not. Changmin can’t get enough of me - he even let me kiss him in front of his sister yesterday.”
“That’s just gross, poor her, and for your information, I was just asking,” Jaejoong said, and he stopped in his tracks when he recognized the person standing only a few meters away. Everything from the annoyingly styled hair, the ridiculous flip flops, the large forehead and the cigarette hanging from his lips screamed of a certain someone he hadn’t seen in months.
In seconds, Jaejoong had managed to hang up his phone and run over to Yoochun, crushing him in a tight hug. He wrapped his legs around the other and squeezed him tightly, pouring in months of longing for one of his best friends in his embrace.
“I fucking missed you!” Jaejoong yelled as he clung to Yoochun in a koala-like fashion. He buried his face into the neck of his soulmate, “God you idiot.” After a minute had passed, he set his legs back down onto the cement and stepped away.
They looked at each other, and Yoochun shook his head as he laughed. He pulled Jaejoong close and crushed him once again in a tight hug.
“You ready for tonight?” he asked.
Jaejoong held Yoochun tighter and said nothing in reply.
o-o-o
Yoochun told him to say it in as few words as possible - that he should just say it quick and easy. Three words were going to suffice, and they’d be enough to express everything he’d been feeling for the past years. Once again, the thought of confessing his feelings made his heart race and his palms sweat in fear.
Would they really be enough?
Jaejoong clung tighter to the ridiculously large teddy bear Yunho had won him and watched as Yunho won him another stuffed toy.
“Why do you keep doing this?” Jaejoong said with a frown as he accepted the Hello Kitty plush toy, “I told you, I’m not a girl.”
“I know,” Yunho said as he took the teddy bear out of Jaejoong’s hands. He kept it glued to his side and glanced at Jaejoong, “But, you like the stuffed toys, don’t you? I mean…you’ve always kept them.”
Jaejoong looked away from Yunho and replied, “I like the Hello Kitty ones the best.” He kept his gaze focused elsewhere and didn’t bother to tell Yunho the entire truth. After all, it was still not the right time for the other to know that the only reason he kept the stuffed toys in his room was because they were gifts from him. It was at that moment that Jaejoong wondered if Yunho did the same thing for the people he’d dated.
Did Yunho win stuffed toys for them too?
Jaejoong frowned at the thought and Yunho noticed. He frowned and moved closer to Jaejoong, “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” Jaejoong muttered irritably.
Yunho let out a sigh, “You’re the only one I bother doing this sort of stuff for, and now it seems like you don’t appreciate it.” He reached over and pinched Jaejoong’s cheek, “God, whoever dates you will be so unlucky.”
Jaejoong scowled, “The people you date are the unlucky ones, imagine, who wants to date a guy that likes to play stupid games and win stupid stuffed toys?”
“Hey, just saying, but you like those stupid stuffed toys.” Yunho grumbled, “Let’s just settle that whoever dates either of us will be unlucky because we both like stupid things.”
He hugged the Hello Kitty toy a little tighter in order to conceal the happy smile that had crossed his face after hearing that he was the only one Yunho bothered winning toys for. Jaejoong said nothing and simply walked, listening to Yunho complain about how he didn’t appreciate him enough.
Oh, if he only knew.
“I was thinking,” Yunho said as he led Jaejoong over to a drink stand. He fiddled with his wallet and bought two Sprites, well aware of Jaejoong’s disdain for Coke. He turned to Jaejoong and smiled, “I should visit you next summer, don’t you think?”
“In Paris?” Jaejoong asked.
“Yeah,” Yunho said as he handed Jaejoong his Sprite. He smiled and pulled at Jaejoong’s arm to lead him away. “I think it’d make for a good adventure of sorts, don’t you think?” his hand slipped down from Jaejoong’s elbow to grasp gently at the other’s wrist, “Unless you think I’m lame by then?”
“I already think you’re lame,” Jaejoong joked as he leaned closer to Yunho.
Yunho chuckled, “I guess. I’m still addicted to these lame carnival games, and you’re always talking about how badly I dress -“
“I still like…” Jaejoong swallowed hard and forced himself to speak, “I still like how you are though. It’s what makes you…you, and I don’t want that to change while I’m away, okay?
The hand that’d been holding Jaejoong’s wrist released it, and Jaejoong turned his head to look at Yunho. But before he could say anything, Yunho had already taken him into his big arms. The stuffed toys were crushed between their bodies, but Jaejoong could still feel the comforting touch of Yunho’s body against his.
“Of course not,” Yunho mumbled, Hello Kitty’s head muffing his voice slightly as he spoke. “You better not find some fancy person to replace me. I know I can’t speak French, I can’t cook, and I can’t look nearly as fashionable as you do, but…you won’t forget about me, right?”
Jaejoong squeezed Yunho tightly, his heart constricting in his chest.
“I could never do that Yunho.”
o-o-o
Yoochun took a sip of his coffee, and Jaejoong watched him carefully.
“Is it good?”
“Yeah, it’s good,” Yoochun replied as he took another sip. He glanced down at the dark liquid before he raised his eyes to meet Jaejoong’s. “Changmin says he’ll drag all of us to visit you when it’s Christmas.”
“But I always come home when it’s Christmas,” Jaejoong said with a slight frown as he took a pinch out of his bagel, “What’s the point?”
Yoochun shrugged, “He probably just wants to try out authentic French food or something.” He set down his mug and clasped his hands together, “So…are you going to tell me about it?”
“About what?” Jaejoong asked, a blush decorating his cheeks, “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“It’s just that you look insanely happy, and I’m betting that he has to be good in bed because you’ve got hickeys all over your neck -“
Jaejoong clasped at his neck and scowled, “Fucker.”
Yoochun smirked, “Fucked.”
“Aish, shut up,” Jaejoong chided. He waved Yoochun away and then tried to pat away the blush that was on his cheeks. “You’ve always been such a prick. You know what, if Yunho was here -“
“Well he’s not,” Yoochun replied as he reached over to take Jaejoong’s bagel off his plate and put it on his own. “Or well, he’s just not here right now. Are you going to be seeing him later?”
Jaejoong nodded slowly, “Yeah -“
“Nervous?”
“A bit…?”
Yoochun chuckled, “Well, it’s only been a couple of months since the last time you guys saw each other? Nothing too terrible has happened since then, right? Well, aside from the fact that -“
Jaejoong scowled, “Hey, aren’t you supposed to be on my side?”
“So, how are you going to tell him?” Yoochun asked as he cocked his head to the side and chewed the piece of bagel in his mouth slowly. He wiped his mouth and reached for a napkin, “This is big news, so -“
“Why is it so hard to tell Yunho things?” Jaejoong mumbled as he buried his face into his arms, “Can’t you just…can’t you just tell him for me?”
Yoochun shook his head and reached out to take Jaejoong’s hand. He squeezed it tightly, and Jaejoong looked up at him.
“Everything will be fine. Don’t worry.”
Jaejoong bit his lip and sighed. He certainly hoped everything would be fine.
o-o-o
They walked up to the edge of boardwalk, and as usual, Jaejoong sat down on the railing while Yunho stood protectively in front of him. He stretched his arms out into the air and relished the last rays of sun that warmed his back. The sea breeze blew and tickled his face, and at that moment, he forgot about the weight of his confession.
“Jaejoong.”
Like sand falling from his grasp, the moment slipped away. Jaejoong opened his eyes and placed his hands back down to grasp the railing. He stared at Yunho, “Yes?” His eyes ran over the other’s handsome face, and the longer he stared, the more he was reminded of why he felt the way he did.
How could anyone just not feel something for Jung Yunho? He didn’t know if it was love, but…maybe, it would develop to that sometime in the future. What he did know though was that he felt something for Yunho that was more than a friend should.
“Whenever you sit here, I think you’re going to fall off,” Yunho said worriedly as he stepped closer and put his hands near Jaejoong’s. He was leaning forward, and if he leaned any closer, Jaejoong felt like he’d fall off the edge and plunge into the waters below. “But…I know you won’t.”
Jaejoong wrinkled his nose, “That didn’t make much sense.”
“I know,” Yunho said with a laugh and a smile as he backed off. He glanced at the Hello Kitty and teddy bear that were seated on the boardwalk flooring before he turned his eyes back to Jaejoong. “It’s just…I feel weird knowing that you’ll be leaving.”
“It’s not for forever.”
“I know, but…” the taller boy sighed and looked down. It took him a few seconds before he raised his eyes, and there was something about the way that he gazed at Jaejoong that stole the latter’s breath. “You’re my…”
Jaejoong let a sad smile grace his lips, and when he let go of the railing for just a brief moment, Yunho immediately ran up to take hold of his waist.
“Jaejoong! What the fuck!“
He placed his hands near the base of Yunho’s neck and held his shoulders tightly. Despite the possible consequences, Jaejoong trailed his right hand upward and cupped Yunho’s face.
“I won’t fall - don’t worry.”
Yunho stared up at him and the look on his face softened, “I won’t let you.”
With those words, Yunho had pushed Jaejoong off the edge. Although there’d been others who had caught Jaejoong’s eye for a while, none of them had ever eclipsed Yunho. None of them could make his heart race as quickly as Yunho did, and Jaejoong didn’t think anyone would be able to make him feel the same way that Yunho made him feel.
There would be no more turning back, and Jaejoong was finally filled past the brim with the resolve to do what his heart had been telling him to do for so many years.
It was time to tell Yunho.
o-o-o
Jaejoong put his stolen jacket on and waved goodbye to Yoochun as he set off in the opposite direction. The walk to the Eiffel Tower wouldn’t be long enough to get him tired, but it would be enough to give him some time to think. Perhaps it was an unusual place for him to go to, but for some reason, he liked going to the monument. Although it was sure to be crowded, despite all the people, there was something about the place that helped him sort out his thoughts.
He let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair.
How would he tell Yunho?
In all honesty, he’d thought he’d have more time to prepare his words. But no, Yoochun just had to ruin everything and drag Yunho over for a spontaneous visit. Jaejoong huffed and pulled his jacket closer, cursing his soulmate mentally. Now he would have to tell Yunho.
Although he wasn’t the same boy that he’d been months previously, he was still mostly, the same Jaejoong that he’d been since high school. Perhaps he was a little more experienced in more ways than one now, but he was still the same teenager that had problems with confrontations and confessions. Just because he was slightly more grown up now, it wouldn’t make talking about his feelings any easier than back when he was just recently out of high school.
While he’d had time to mull over what he now felt, he still hadn’t had enough time to figure out how he would talk to Yunho about it.
His phone vibrated, and Jaejoong pulled his phone out of his pocket to check who the message was from.
I thought you told me you would show me the Eiffel Tower, but now I’m here alone. :(
Jaejoong stopped in his tracks, but before he could turn away and try to avoid Yunho, his phone began to ring. He stared at his phone’s screen for a while before he accepted the call nervously and raised it up to his ear.
“I see you,” Yunho said happily across the line, and he waved at Jaejoong from where he was standing. “So I guess you came just in time to show me around. I always knew you were psychic.”
He hung up, and Jaejoong was frozen to the spot as he watched Yunho begin to walk up to him.
o-o-o
They were both leaning against the railing and facing the setting sun. They’d been silent for a while, and the only sound now was that of the waves crashing against the shore. Jaejoong finally let go of the last of his anxiety with a sigh then clasped his hands together.
This was it.
“Yunho…I have something to tell you.”
His best friend turned his head, and Jaejoong felt his heart clench tightly. Who knew what was to come? Would he be met with joy, or would he be welcomed with disappointment?
One thing was sure, he would never know unless he said something. It was a risk, but it was one he was now willing to make. Although his young heart didn’t believe that anyone but Yunho would do, maybe one day, that would change. Maybe he would regret this choice, but if he didn’t say something, then he was sure he’d regret that too.
No one knew what the future held for them, and now it was his turn to completely let go of the fear and embrace the unknown.
“I’m sorry you just had to hear this now,” Jaejoong started slowly. He forced a smile although he was all bursting nerves on the inside, “I’m so stupid, and I know this isn’t smooth or suave or anything, but I had to tell you this before I left, and…“
“Jaejoong?”
“God you’re an idiot.”
o-o-o
Yunho grinned and reached out for him, taking him into a warm embrace. Jaejoong felt the butterflies in his stomach, and he wrapped his arms around Yunho in return. He buried his face into the other’s neck and breathed in deeply. Yunho was murmuring something into his ear, but Jaejoong was currently deaf to him - his heart was beating much too loudly.
For so long, all he’d wanted was this.
“I love you.”
Jaejoong tensed in Yunho’s grip and tried to pull back, but the other was still holding onto him so tightly. How had the words escaped his mouth? He was sure that he hadn’t said anything -
“You’re such an idiot,” Yunho muttered as he pulled Jaejoong closer, “I know you Jaejoong. I know you better than anyone else in the world, and I just know, okay? I love you.”
He pulled away to kiss Jaejoong deeply, and when Yunho stepped back, Jaejoong was dazed.
“I told you not to get my jacket this morning,” Yunho chided as he pulled Jaejoong closer by gripping the fabric, “You never listen, and why do you always try to hide things from me -“
“I was afraid. I didn’t think you would feel the same way so soon, and it’s only been a few months since -“
“You are an idiot, again,” Yunho murmured. He kissed the top of Jaejoong’s head and tilted his chin up, “But I love you…reluctantly, anyway.” He smiled when the corners of Jaejoong’s lips quirked upward, “Now tell me the words I’ve been waiting to hear since Yoochun and I arrived last night.”
“I love you,” Jaejoong whispered before he hooked his arms around Yunho’s neck and pulled him close, feeling as stupid and silly as he’d felt months ago.
o-o-o
There was silence, and before Yunho could say anything, Jaejoong turned around to leave. He didn’t bother to pick up the stuffed toys Yunho had won for him and tried to flee, but a hand pulled at his wrist. He flinched, but instead of meeting something rough, his lips met the softness of Yunho’s mouth.
He was floored.
Yunho pulled away and shook his shoulders, “You’re an idiot.”
“No, no you are!” Jaejoong stuttered, unsure of what to say instead. He couldn’t meet Yunho’s eyes, and so the latter had to tilt his chin up. He reluctantly met Yunho’s gaze, and he could feel his insides squirm.
Yunho frowned, “Seriously?”
“You can’t just call me an idiot!” Jaejoong yelled. He stepped back and shoved Yunho before he reached over to pick up the Hello Kitty toy. He used it to whack Yunho several times. “Do you know how hard it was for me to try to…to try to say something? You can’t just - “ he hit Yunho again, “Play with my feelings like this!”
“You’re leaving tomorrow, and that’s all you’re going to say to me? You’re just going to call me an idiot then leave? No meaningful goodbye or romantic love confession? Jaejoong, you’re really disappointing me and I’m starting to feel neglected -“
Jaejoong continued to smack Yunho with the Hello Kitty toy unendingly.
“You’re humiliating me!”
“No, you’re humiliating me! Stop attacking me with a Hello Kitty toy!”
The Hello Kitty toy was tugged out of Jaejoong’s grasp, and Yunho laughed and held Jaejoong close. “Stop being so difficult, and come on, it’s cute that you’re blushing like this. Just kiss me some more if you want, or -“
Jaejoong wrinkled his nose, “I kind of want to go to Paris now. This is humiliating.”
“You know what’s humiliating?” Yunho said with an amused smile, “Death by Hello Kitty, that’s what. So come on, stop being an idiot, and just kiss me already.”
“I’m not an idiot,” Jaejoong mumbled, “And maybe I don’t want to kiss you anymore.”
“You’re my idiot, now come on.” Yunho said with a laugh, “One last kiss before you fly off to Paris and find someone more fashionable and -“
Jaejoong pulled Yunho closely and kissed him. When he pulled away, he scowled.
“In a couple of months, I’ll probably be confessing my undying love for a handsome prince with a fancy apartment that overlooks the Eiffel tower.”
Yunho laughed and leaned down, “We’ll see about that.” He murmured before he leaned down and kissed Jaejoong once again.
Author’s Note: Whooooo! My freedom is approaching. ^^ I’m going to write so much, so I hope you guys look forward to that. :3 Also, the whole pattern of this fic was pretty much inspired by the format of Reply 1997, and yeah. Haha. I haven’t watched the drama, but I kind of know it bounces between the past and the present. I hope this fic was able to surprise you guys somewhat, and thank you so much for reading and commenting! ~ ♥