Remember [2/2]
Title: Remember
Beta: minniesaranghae
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Angst, Fantasy
Summary: Nothing is ever truly forgotten.
Forgetting someone is like forgetting to turn off the light
in the backyard so it stays lit all the next day
But then it is the light that makes you remember.
- Forgetting Someone by Yehuda Amichai
Something was missing. Jaejoong didn’t know what it was, and nothing seemed to help allude to what it was exactly. He felt like he’d lost something, and the longer he stayed still, the more terrible the ache in his heart was.
In a way, it was like he was missing a piece of his soul.
“Jaejoong…do you want to go outside?” one of the maids asks, as she pokes her head inside the study. “It’s beautiful outside -“
He shakes his head. “I’m okay.”
The door closes, and he leans his head against the bookshelf as he draws his knees to his chest. Jaejoong breathes in the smell of the study - it is comforting, and it is one of the few places in the entire estate that made him feel at home.
For some reason, the smell of books and ink somehow comforts him. It makes him feel secure, and it makes him feel at home.
o-o-o
“Son…is there something wrong?” his mother asks several nights later. Worry is etched onto her features as she studies him carefully, looking for any signs of distress or discomfort. “You…you haven’t been the same since you’ve come back.”
“I don’t feel the same.” Jaejoong replies slowly, “I feel like something’s missing - like I’m still forgetting something important.”
His mother reaches across the table and takes hold of his hand. She squeezes it reassuringly, “I’m sure it’s just effects of all the magic.” She comments, “After all, it’s not easy to lose and regain your memories.”
Jaejoong turns his head and looks at her, “What happened to the people that made me lose my memories? Did they get imprisoned?”
“Yes, they did.”
“Oh.” He sighs and resumes looking out the window. “Maybe I should leave for a while? I should try going to the countryside - maybe the quiet there will help me settle down.”
His mother refuses immediately. “I can’t let you go. You’ve only just gotten back. I don’t want something to happen to you! What if someone hurts you again?”
“I don’t think that anyone would -“
Once again, his request is shot down. His mother shakes her head disapprovingly and clasps her hands together as she fidgets anxiously. “I don’t want you to leave anytime soon. You’ll leave when you’re ready.”
“When will that be?” Jaejoong ponders aloud as he stares at the sea of green in their large backyard. “When will I be ready?” he thinks briefly before he adds, “When will I ever feel normal again?”
His mother looks at him worriedly and immediately orders for the maids to bring in the tea. “Shush. I think it’s just the weather that’s affecting you like this.” She looks around the room worriedly as she fiddles with a napkin, “I’ve asked for the maids to bring us some tea to help calm you down.”
Jaejoong’s thoughts immediately subside, and he gives into his mother’s silent pleas for him to keep quiet. He leans back into his chair and just stares at the horizon, wondering if there are answers waiting to be discovered.
The silence is broken when the doors open, and Jaejoong turns his head as a familiar aroma fills the room.
He watches as his mother pours the tea. She pushes a cup to him with a smile, “It’s your favorite - rosemary tea. I know it’ll calm you down -”
Tears roll down his cheeks, and he can’t stop himself from crying.
Rosemary makes the pain in his chest all the more prominent, and it’s like his world is crashing down the longer the aroma floats around the room.
He can remember cooking for someone, he can remember flipping through pages of dusty tomes, and he can remember listening to someone read to him.
He just can’t remember who that someone is.
o-o-o
Eventually, his mother gives in and he’s allowed to leave.
Jaejoong settles in the countryside home comfortably enough, and for once, the feeling of loss in his soul is gone as he fixes the home and tries to make it feel like his own. The house maids make sure to never leave him alone, and he tries to not make life so hard for them by staying close to the home.
However, as soon as everything is settled, the ache returns. The house maids notice his change in mood, and try as he might, there’s not much he can do to hide his feelings of distress from them.
He tosses and turns in bed one morning, and the thing that manages to snap him out of his restless state is the sound of the door creaking open. Jaejoong sits up immediately, and he looks at the maid curiously.
“Yes?” he asks, “Is something wrong?”
The elderly woman steps inside the room and shuts the door quietly as soon as she’s inside. “The other maids have…they’ve told me that you still feel something is wrong with you sir?”
Jaejoong immediately perks up, and he nods. “Yes. Do you have a solution for my problem?” he questions.
The woman nods, “I think…I think I know a person who may help you.”
As soon as she gives him the details, he makes plans to leave the home for the first time in weeks.
He has someone to visit.
o-o-o
Jaejoong kneels down as a grey cat approaches him and begins to rub itself against him. He strokes its soft fur, and for some reason, the whole situation brings about feelings of déjà vu.
He straightens up and smiles down at the cat, “Where’s your owner?”
The cat simply looks up at him with its wise eyes before it walks away, tail swishing as it heads for the cottage. Jaejoong follows it and just as he is about to knock on the door, he hears the sound of someone approaching.
He turns around, and a tall handsome man stares at him with an unreadable expression.
“I heard you could help me.” Jaejoong says as he approaches the man, “I…”
There’s something about the man that makes his heart flutter, and he loses the words that he’d planned. He frowns and shakes his head before he continues, “I want you to ask the Other side about what’s wrong with me.”
The man is silent and he stares at Jaejoong for a few seconds before he replies, “Do you have any idea what is wrong with you?” he asks, his voice cold.
“No...I don’t.” Jaejoong replies, “I lost my memory a while back, and although I have my memories back now, I still feel like something’s missing. I feel like something’s wrong with me, like…like I’m missing half of my soul.”
“I think I know how you feel.” The man mutters as he brushes past Jaejoong and opens the door to the cottage. He turns around and looks at Jaejoong, “You might as well come inside. I’ll try to find a solution for you.”
Jaejoong smiles, “Thank you.” He takes a step inside, “What’s your name?”
The man stops fiddling with a pot and replies, “Yunho.”
“Yunho.” Jaejoong repeats, his smile growing wider for some unknown reason. He leans against the doorframe and watches the man make his way around the kitchen, “It sounds perfect for you.”
Yunho looks at Jaejoong, and there’s something guarded about his expression. He watches Jaejoong carefully, “What’s your name again?” he asks.
“Jaejoong.”
A sad expression flashes across Yunho’s face before it’s buried underneath an impassive look. Although the other man smiles, Jaejoong notes that it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“It sounds perfect for you.” Yunho whispers.
o-o-o
There’s something about the cottage that makes him feel at home, and Jaejoong wishes that his own home had the same feeling. He wanders around as Yunho flips through dusty books and he stops at a potted rosemary plant.
He glances at Yunho, “Is that rosemary?”
Yunho nods, “It is.”
Jaejoong steps to the plant and takes it from its spot on the windowsill. He turns toward Yunho once more and calls the other man’s attention. “You’ve been working the whole day, do you want me to make you something to eat?”
“You really don’t have to -“
Despite Yunho’s protest, Jaejoong heads to the kitchen. The whole room fills him with an aura of familiarity, and it’s not long before he’s preparing lunch for the other man and working his way around the kitchen with expert movements.
As soon as the food’s done, he takes out the food and sets it down atop the book that Yunho is reading. He watches as Yunho stares at the plate for a few seconds, and just as he’s about to tell the other man what it is, Yunho speaks.
“You made me rosemary chicken.” He says softly.
Jaejoong nods, “Yeah, I did. I made it from my own special recipe. Why, has someone made it for you before?” he asks.
It takes a while for Yunho to reply.
“Yes, someone has made it for me - someone special.” He murmurs, the latter part of his sentence coming out as an afterthought filled with a sense of longing that makes Jaejoong’s heart hurt.
Jaejoong pulls a chair close to Yunho and watches him eat, “What happened to that person?” he asks curiously, “If you don’t mind me asking of course.”
“He left.” Yunho replies, his eyes boring into Jaejoong’s. “He wanted to get something back, and unfortunately I was the price of what he wanted.”
Jaejoong resists his urge to hug the other man, so he just clutches his chair tighter. The other man resumes eating, but something in his heart refuses for him to just let Yunho drop the issue in such a way.
“I’m sure he’ll come back to you,” Jaejoong says, the words slipping out of his mouth before he can even think twice, “A loved one isn’t a person that can be forgotten easily. If you two were meant to be, he’ll come back to you.”
“If we were meant to be?” Yunho wonders aloud. He looks at Jaejoong once more, and his lips form a sad smile, “Do you really think that we might’ve been meant to be?”
“I…” Jaejoong falters, but something in his heart tells him to go on, “Yes, I do feel like we were meant to be.” He realizes the error in his words and blushes, “I meant, you and your love - both of you were meant to be.”
A genuine smile stretches across Yunho’s face, and Jaejoong’s heart flutters in his chest.
There’s a beautiful sense of familiarity and warmth in everything connected to Yunho, and he doesn’t want to leave.
o-o-o
Several spells later, nothing has happened.
Jaejoong watches as Yunho puts away the last of his books, and a feeling of dread settles over his heart. He bites his lip, and Yunho returns to him with a sad smile and empty hands.
“I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do for you.” He says softly, “I looked through all my books, and…I don’t know what I can do to help you find something lost. All I know is that the Other side only grants wishes in extreme cases.”
“Extreme cases like what?” Jaejoong asks.
Yunho shakes his head, “I don’t know.” He straightens up and walks over to the windowsill, “I’ve never had a wish or desire granted before.”
Jaejoong blinks and looks at Yunho, “Really?” he tilts his head, “Apparently the reason I got my memory back was because of a wish…I don’t know what I gave for it in return though.”
Yunho looks at Jaejoong, “Do you think it was something important?”
“I don’t know what to think.” Jaejoong answers slowly. He glances at Yunho, “Do you think that if you wanted something hard enough, that the Other side would just give it to you?”
The other man shrugs, “I’ve wanted something for so long…and They’ve never given it to me yet. I thought that They returned it to me one time,” he breaks off and stares at Jaejoong for a few seconds, “But then I realized that I had thought wrong.”
“Oh.”
Yunho let out a sigh and touched Jaejoong’s cheek gently, “Would you mind if I tried one last…one last trick?” he whispers.
Jaejoong nods and Yunho orders him to close his eyes, so he does so. His eyes flutter shut and he feels Yunho’s breath against his face. It’s not long before he feels lips against his, and his eyes snap open.
Yunho pulls away immediately and shakes his head, “I’m sorry - “
“Yunho -“
Jaejoong is surprised by how much desperation and longing he sees in Yunho’s eyes as soon as the other man turns around, and his heart stands still as his mind races with memories that come flooding into his mind. His breath catches in his throat, and no words can come out from his mouth.
Yunho shakes his head once more, “I was stupid, I’m sorry. I’m too busy holding onto the past. Jaejoong, you should just go. It’s obvious that the Others have severed your ties from me for a reason -“
Jaejoong takes a step closer and the look in his eyes magnetizes Yunho. He walks closer to the taller man and pauses when they’re centimeters apart.
“I remember.” Jaejoong whispers softly as he cards his hand through Yunho’s hair, “I’m sorry for forgetting…but I remember you, I remember us now.” He presses his lips against Yunho’s.
His world has never felt more complete.
<
Author’s Note: I have completed the last of your request blu_eyezz! Consider it as a small Christmas gift from me. Hahaha. XDD Okay, so this is the last of my Christmas updates and I hope you guys have enjoyed all of them. I shall be updating probably once or twice before the year is over, and I hope you guys all have wonderful holidays. The winners of my little game are ninghui465 and crazyaboutyou44! I will message you guys about the prizes later on. ^__^ Please leave a comment if you guys liked this, and once again, happy holidays everyone, and thank you for reading! ♥
Beta: minniesaranghae
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Angst, Fantasy
Summary: Nothing is ever truly forgotten.
Forgetting someone is like forgetting to turn off the light
in the backyard so it stays lit all the next day
But then it is the light that makes you remember.
- Forgetting Someone by Yehuda Amichai
Something was missing. Jaejoong didn’t know what it was, and nothing seemed to help allude to what it was exactly. He felt like he’d lost something, and the longer he stayed still, the more terrible the ache in his heart was.
In a way, it was like he was missing a piece of his soul.
“Jaejoong…do you want to go outside?” one of the maids asks, as she pokes her head inside the study. “It’s beautiful outside -“
He shakes his head. “I’m okay.”
The door closes, and he leans his head against the bookshelf as he draws his knees to his chest. Jaejoong breathes in the smell of the study - it is comforting, and it is one of the few places in the entire estate that made him feel at home.
For some reason, the smell of books and ink somehow comforts him. It makes him feel secure, and it makes him feel at home.
o-o-o
“Son…is there something wrong?” his mother asks several nights later. Worry is etched onto her features as she studies him carefully, looking for any signs of distress or discomfort. “You…you haven’t been the same since you’ve come back.”
“I don’t feel the same.” Jaejoong replies slowly, “I feel like something’s missing - like I’m still forgetting something important.”
His mother reaches across the table and takes hold of his hand. She squeezes it reassuringly, “I’m sure it’s just effects of all the magic.” She comments, “After all, it’s not easy to lose and regain your memories.”
Jaejoong turns his head and looks at her, “What happened to the people that made me lose my memories? Did they get imprisoned?”
“Yes, they did.”
“Oh.” He sighs and resumes looking out the window. “Maybe I should leave for a while? I should try going to the countryside - maybe the quiet there will help me settle down.”
His mother refuses immediately. “I can’t let you go. You’ve only just gotten back. I don’t want something to happen to you! What if someone hurts you again?”
“I don’t think that anyone would -“
Once again, his request is shot down. His mother shakes her head disapprovingly and clasps her hands together as she fidgets anxiously. “I don’t want you to leave anytime soon. You’ll leave when you’re ready.”
“When will that be?” Jaejoong ponders aloud as he stares at the sea of green in their large backyard. “When will I be ready?” he thinks briefly before he adds, “When will I ever feel normal again?”
His mother looks at him worriedly and immediately orders for the maids to bring in the tea. “Shush. I think it’s just the weather that’s affecting you like this.” She looks around the room worriedly as she fiddles with a napkin, “I’ve asked for the maids to bring us some tea to help calm you down.”
Jaejoong’s thoughts immediately subside, and he gives into his mother’s silent pleas for him to keep quiet. He leans back into his chair and just stares at the horizon, wondering if there are answers waiting to be discovered.
The silence is broken when the doors open, and Jaejoong turns his head as a familiar aroma fills the room.
He watches as his mother pours the tea. She pushes a cup to him with a smile, “It’s your favorite - rosemary tea. I know it’ll calm you down -”
Tears roll down his cheeks, and he can’t stop himself from crying.
Rosemary makes the pain in his chest all the more prominent, and it’s like his world is crashing down the longer the aroma floats around the room.
He can remember cooking for someone, he can remember flipping through pages of dusty tomes, and he can remember listening to someone read to him.
He just can’t remember who that someone is.
o-o-o
Eventually, his mother gives in and he’s allowed to leave.
Jaejoong settles in the countryside home comfortably enough, and for once, the feeling of loss in his soul is gone as he fixes the home and tries to make it feel like his own. The house maids make sure to never leave him alone, and he tries to not make life so hard for them by staying close to the home.
However, as soon as everything is settled, the ache returns. The house maids notice his change in mood, and try as he might, there’s not much he can do to hide his feelings of distress from them.
He tosses and turns in bed one morning, and the thing that manages to snap him out of his restless state is the sound of the door creaking open. Jaejoong sits up immediately, and he looks at the maid curiously.
“Yes?” he asks, “Is something wrong?”
The elderly woman steps inside the room and shuts the door quietly as soon as she’s inside. “The other maids have…they’ve told me that you still feel something is wrong with you sir?”
Jaejoong immediately perks up, and he nods. “Yes. Do you have a solution for my problem?” he questions.
The woman nods, “I think…I think I know a person who may help you.”
As soon as she gives him the details, he makes plans to leave the home for the first time in weeks.
He has someone to visit.
o-o-o
Jaejoong kneels down as a grey cat approaches him and begins to rub itself against him. He strokes its soft fur, and for some reason, the whole situation brings about feelings of déjà vu.
He straightens up and smiles down at the cat, “Where’s your owner?”
The cat simply looks up at him with its wise eyes before it walks away, tail swishing as it heads for the cottage. Jaejoong follows it and just as he is about to knock on the door, he hears the sound of someone approaching.
He turns around, and a tall handsome man stares at him with an unreadable expression.
“I heard you could help me.” Jaejoong says as he approaches the man, “I…”
There’s something about the man that makes his heart flutter, and he loses the words that he’d planned. He frowns and shakes his head before he continues, “I want you to ask the Other side about what’s wrong with me.”
The man is silent and he stares at Jaejoong for a few seconds before he replies, “Do you have any idea what is wrong with you?” he asks, his voice cold.
“No...I don’t.” Jaejoong replies, “I lost my memory a while back, and although I have my memories back now, I still feel like something’s missing. I feel like something’s wrong with me, like…like I’m missing half of my soul.”
“I think I know how you feel.” The man mutters as he brushes past Jaejoong and opens the door to the cottage. He turns around and looks at Jaejoong, “You might as well come inside. I’ll try to find a solution for you.”
Jaejoong smiles, “Thank you.” He takes a step inside, “What’s your name?”
The man stops fiddling with a pot and replies, “Yunho.”
“Yunho.” Jaejoong repeats, his smile growing wider for some unknown reason. He leans against the doorframe and watches the man make his way around the kitchen, “It sounds perfect for you.”
Yunho looks at Jaejoong, and there’s something guarded about his expression. He watches Jaejoong carefully, “What’s your name again?” he asks.
“Jaejoong.”
A sad expression flashes across Yunho’s face before it’s buried underneath an impassive look. Although the other man smiles, Jaejoong notes that it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“It sounds perfect for you.” Yunho whispers.
o-o-o
There’s something about the cottage that makes him feel at home, and Jaejoong wishes that his own home had the same feeling. He wanders around as Yunho flips through dusty books and he stops at a potted rosemary plant.
He glances at Yunho, “Is that rosemary?”
Yunho nods, “It is.”
Jaejoong steps to the plant and takes it from its spot on the windowsill. He turns toward Yunho once more and calls the other man’s attention. “You’ve been working the whole day, do you want me to make you something to eat?”
“You really don’t have to -“
Despite Yunho’s protest, Jaejoong heads to the kitchen. The whole room fills him with an aura of familiarity, and it’s not long before he’s preparing lunch for the other man and working his way around the kitchen with expert movements.
As soon as the food’s done, he takes out the food and sets it down atop the book that Yunho is reading. He watches as Yunho stares at the plate for a few seconds, and just as he’s about to tell the other man what it is, Yunho speaks.
“You made me rosemary chicken.” He says softly.
Jaejoong nods, “Yeah, I did. I made it from my own special recipe. Why, has someone made it for you before?” he asks.
It takes a while for Yunho to reply.
“Yes, someone has made it for me - someone special.” He murmurs, the latter part of his sentence coming out as an afterthought filled with a sense of longing that makes Jaejoong’s heart hurt.
Jaejoong pulls a chair close to Yunho and watches him eat, “What happened to that person?” he asks curiously, “If you don’t mind me asking of course.”
“He left.” Yunho replies, his eyes boring into Jaejoong’s. “He wanted to get something back, and unfortunately I was the price of what he wanted.”
Jaejoong resists his urge to hug the other man, so he just clutches his chair tighter. The other man resumes eating, but something in his heart refuses for him to just let Yunho drop the issue in such a way.
“I’m sure he’ll come back to you,” Jaejoong says, the words slipping out of his mouth before he can even think twice, “A loved one isn’t a person that can be forgotten easily. If you two were meant to be, he’ll come back to you.”
“If we were meant to be?” Yunho wonders aloud. He looks at Jaejoong once more, and his lips form a sad smile, “Do you really think that we might’ve been meant to be?”
“I…” Jaejoong falters, but something in his heart tells him to go on, “Yes, I do feel like we were meant to be.” He realizes the error in his words and blushes, “I meant, you and your love - both of you were meant to be.”
A genuine smile stretches across Yunho’s face, and Jaejoong’s heart flutters in his chest.
There’s a beautiful sense of familiarity and warmth in everything connected to Yunho, and he doesn’t want to leave.
o-o-o
Several spells later, nothing has happened.
Jaejoong watches as Yunho puts away the last of his books, and a feeling of dread settles over his heart. He bites his lip, and Yunho returns to him with a sad smile and empty hands.
“I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do for you.” He says softly, “I looked through all my books, and…I don’t know what I can do to help you find something lost. All I know is that the Other side only grants wishes in extreme cases.”
“Extreme cases like what?” Jaejoong asks.
Yunho shakes his head, “I don’t know.” He straightens up and walks over to the windowsill, “I’ve never had a wish or desire granted before.”
Jaejoong blinks and looks at Yunho, “Really?” he tilts his head, “Apparently the reason I got my memory back was because of a wish…I don’t know what I gave for it in return though.”
Yunho looks at Jaejoong, “Do you think it was something important?”
“I don’t know what to think.” Jaejoong answers slowly. He glances at Yunho, “Do you think that if you wanted something hard enough, that the Other side would just give it to you?”
The other man shrugs, “I’ve wanted something for so long…and They’ve never given it to me yet. I thought that They returned it to me one time,” he breaks off and stares at Jaejoong for a few seconds, “But then I realized that I had thought wrong.”
“Oh.”
Yunho let out a sigh and touched Jaejoong’s cheek gently, “Would you mind if I tried one last…one last trick?” he whispers.
Jaejoong nods and Yunho orders him to close his eyes, so he does so. His eyes flutter shut and he feels Yunho’s breath against his face. It’s not long before he feels lips against his, and his eyes snap open.
Yunho pulls away immediately and shakes his head, “I’m sorry - “
“Yunho -“
Jaejoong is surprised by how much desperation and longing he sees in Yunho’s eyes as soon as the other man turns around, and his heart stands still as his mind races with memories that come flooding into his mind. His breath catches in his throat, and no words can come out from his mouth.
Yunho shakes his head once more, “I was stupid, I’m sorry. I’m too busy holding onto the past. Jaejoong, you should just go. It’s obvious that the Others have severed your ties from me for a reason -“
Jaejoong takes a step closer and the look in his eyes magnetizes Yunho. He walks closer to the taller man and pauses when they’re centimeters apart.
“I remember.” Jaejoong whispers softly as he cards his hand through Yunho’s hair, “I’m sorry for forgetting…but I remember you, I remember us now.” He presses his lips against Yunho’s.
His world has never felt more complete.
<
Author’s Note: I have completed the last of your request blu_eyezz! Consider it as a small Christmas gift from me. Hahaha. XDD Okay, so this is the last of my Christmas updates and I hope you guys have enjoyed all of them. I shall be updating probably once or twice before the year is over, and I hope you guys all have wonderful holidays. The winners of my little game are ninghui465 and crazyaboutyou44! I will message you guys about the prizes later on. ^__^ Please leave a comment if you guys liked this, and once again, happy holidays everyone, and thank you for reading! ♥