It's been eight days and I'm having identity issues. I looked at my MySpace and thought, "Well shit, I oughta just change my age on this, too. I'm everything a 21 year old is now ( Read more... )

A Trip to the Art Museum ( Read more... )

As a child I had a strong loyalty to Viacom's Nickelodeon and, when I turned nine and resolved that I was too old for Nicktoons, MTV. I avoided the Disney channel until I was, in fact, too old, and at 16 became obsessed with the show Even Stevens. It was definitely rooted in a strong sexual attraction to the character Louis Stevens, played by ( Read more... )

Venice Beach: Coney Island of the Pacific.

Griffith Park: Central Park of Southern California, complete with crowded zoo of depressive animals.

Will Rogers State Park: a mountain to be scaled like the steps of the Statue of Liberty (stretching it but I really like Will Rogers).

The Hollywood Bowl: an outdoor Madison Square Garden.

Hollywood ( Read more... )

Really Old Broadcaster: George, you named all your sons George. Why... did you do that?
George Foreman: Well, you let Muhammed Ali hit ya and see how many names you can remember.

The elderly, bothersome story was always that if your ears are itching, someone's talking about you when you aren't around. I heard first though, in seventh grade, the version that if your tits itch, a boy is jerking off to you. Unfortunately my breasts are never a source of irritation but I try to scratch my inner ear all the time.

I went to a party of drunk bike messengers and one of them stole my lighter, so I might as well write about it now ( Read more... )

With a boney girl and a plate of two asparagus sticks on the cover, the New York Magazine on my desk looks like it features a story on anorexics and it isn't entirely misleading. For two months, a NY Mag writer followed the lifestyle of Calorie Restriction, a phenomenon that was later covered in Newsweek and Science Times. The movement centers ( Read more... )

Every time boys wear suits to school I make the joke, "Hey do you have a court appearance?" and they never laugh. But I can't stop. I still think it's funny.

Including the walk from The Strand to 2A, a bar for yuppies, it took me twenty minutes to realize that I was on a date with a gay guy. This discounts our first meeting outside of Movida, in which he leaned his head against the wall and smiled with all of his teeth, plagued by the fever that is my first impression; his voicemails, splattered with ( Read more... )