Airman Harris 3

[lit_gal]

Airman Harris
Chapter Three
Rated: Adult
Pairing: Xander/Daniel (and who the hell knows where this is going)

Summary: After a quick delivery to Cheyenne Mountain puts Xander at ground zero of a whole new set of secrets, he finds that sometimes living in a new place is the best way to find yourself.

Previous chapters:  One : Two :



Teal'c scanned the room impassively, and Xander could see a couple of the other trainees straighten up as Teal’c’s gaze slid past them.

Xander remembered how strong his grip was. His odds of avoiding embarrassingly bad ass-kickage would fall to about zero if Teal'c chose him as a partner. On the good side, Xander figured anyone picked to go up against Teal'c would get their asses kicked. Short of Buffy herself, Xander couldn't think of one person he would put up against Teal'c. Either that symbiote thing had superpowers or Teal'c had some mad skills. Maybe both.

Teal’c stopped near the edge of the mat. "You will demonstrate hand-to-hand combat skills before placement on any field teams. Steve Ellis. Willis Patakis. Begin."

That was the shortest introduction in history, and Xander could see the others all looking at each other for some sort of confirmation that Teal'c meant what he said. Eventually Ellis and Patakis stepped out and faced each other on the mat, beginning the formal dance that these people liked to call fighting. Xander found that real fighting used less orchestrated blows and blocks and a lot more flailing. But let him make one little observation to that fact and he got stuck peeling potatoes for a month. He wasn't making that mistake again. Xander frowned. Wait. His official job now was washing dishes and peeling potatoes. So, did that mean that he could say whatever he wanted and have the only punishment be to get sent back to his job? Because he was an oddly efficient potato peeler. And potatoes were not judgmental. Xander liked that. Non-judgmental food made a good friend.

Patakis put Ellis on his back and took a step back, ending the match.

"Is your opponent disabled?" Teal'c queried. It really was a query. Xander had never before met someone who made queries rather than asking questions.

"No, sir." Patakis came to attention but he didn't salute. He looked like he might, but as far as Xander could tell, no one exactly understood Teal'c's rank. Even Daniel had gone off on a long explanation of feudal systems and Jaffa culture without actually answering the question.

"Then why did you stop?"

Patakis glanced toward Ellis who had just gotten off the floor. "Sir, I didn't want to attack a man when he was down."

Xander snorted. It was a purely instinctive response, but everyone in the room looked at him. Xander might have blushed, only he had a lot of experience with making a fool out of himself, so he just kept his eyes forward.

"Harris," Teal'c said. Xander cringed, but he stepped forward onto the mat. "Would you have stopped with an opponent on the ground?"

Xander looked around, and then braced with the knowledge that he was already the potato peeler, he shrugged. "Do you want the real answer or the one training sergeants kept trying to get me to say?" The whole audience shifted on their feet uncomfortably.

Teal'c tilted his head. "The real one."

Taking a breath, Xander braced himself to make a really dumb move: tell the truth. "Okay. Unless the opponent is bleeding out his orifices, broken in multiple places, or decapitated, I won't stop without someone telling me the fight is over. Half the people who go on their backs do it half a second before trying to eviscerate you with a knife in the toe of their stupid, oversized dorky boots."

Teal'c quirked an eyebrow, but he didn't correct Xander. Oh, everyone else in the room had something to say, Xander could see that in the expressions on their faces, but with Teal'c here, no one was saying anything. "Harris. Patakis. Begin." Teal'c stepped back off the mat, and Xander eyed Patakis. He was out of breath from fighting Ellis, but he was confident in his ability to beat Xander. Funny enough, Xander was confident about his ability to get beat. The guy was huge. When Patakis advanced, Xander backed up, circling the edge of the mat.

"Scared?" Patakis taunted. Yep, this was familiar territory.

"Hell yes. I think that's called common sense kicking in, which is odd because usually I don't--" Right in the middle of his words, Xander turned and ran, leaping over a weight lifting bench and getting a tall machine between him and Patkis. "Don't have that much common sense," Xander finished from the far side of the room.

Patakis let his hands drop to his sides and the other recruits degenerated into random clumps all whispering their horror. Yep, this was exactly like high school.

"Sir?" Petakis asked, turning to Teal'c.

"Is your opponent disabled?" That sounded oddly like Teal'c was on Xander's side.

"Sir, he's off the mat."

"Battle often leads where one does not expect." Teal'c raised his chin. Yep, that was a double dog dare if Xander had ever seen one. Patakis looked from Teal'c to Xander and then back again.

"Okay. Kid, I was going to take it easy on you, but you're just asking for it."

"Funny enough, you aren't the first person to say that, and others who said it were way scarier than you," Xander pointed out. It was almost comical how many people had threatened to make him pay. Comical in a pathetic sort of way, but that was the sort Xander did best.

"We'll see." Petakis had a dangerous look in his eye now, and he circled the machine carefully. Xander allowed himself to be herded around the machine to the far side before he dashed for a punching bag. Timing his movements to Petakis, he shoved at the heavy bag and feigned a fall, rolling onto his back long enough to see Petakis take the heavy bag in the stomach. While he was distracted with that, Xander struck out with a foot, aiming high enough to avoid breaking the knee. Still. It was going to hurt. Petakis went down with a grunt, and Xander scrambled to get to his feet.

"Halt!" Teal'c shouted. Xander froze, one hand on the heavy bag as he prepared to kick a man while he was down.

"Shit," Petakis complained, and Teal'c crouched next to him, his hands going over Petakis' leg. The man stiffened but didn't move while Teal'c made his examination.

"It is not broken. Harris. Cantone. Begin."

Xander blinked. Okay, this is not the way it was supposed to go. Usually after he pulled a stunt like that, the sergeant made him stand in the middle of the mat while enduring a screaming reprimand. The others looked as shocked as Xander, but Cantone broke away from the ground with an almost gleeful anticipation that Xander did not like. Nope. Not one little bit.

"No holds barred, sir?" Cantone asked.

"Do you bar holds in actual combat?" Teal'c asked.

Cantone's smile grew wider.

"Hey, just remember if you break me, you will so not be getting any mashed potatoes for dinner. I mean, breaking the enlisted man who works in the kitchen? First, not so impressive. Second, not so smart if there's no one left to cook," Xander pointed out. If all else failed, Sergeant Powell would put Ex-lax in this schmuck's dessert if the guy broke him. Being the only dishwasher in a base full of dirty dishes had its perks. Xander saw confusion dart across Cantone's face. "I mean, beating Teal'c that would be impressive. I'd be asking for a test for performance enhancing drugs, but I'd be impressed." Cantone followed as Xander slowly retreated around the room. Clusters of other trainees scattered as Xander came through. "You know, usually people have attacked by now, and I'm running out of banter, so feel free to get this started," Xander suggested.

"Afraid to start something yourself?" Cantone taunted.

"Potato peeler versus big-bad warrior-type soldier. Um, duh. No secret superpowers here, so I'm pretty much terrified to start something."

Again, Cantone had a flash of confusion. Xander took advantage of the moment and the fact that a particularly slow classmate didn't move out of his way. Grabbing a guy that looked like a small walking mountain, Xander shoved him toward Cantone. Mountain stumbled forward and Cantone reached out to catch him before he fell. Xander darted under Mountain's arm and planted a punch low on Cantone's back before dancing away.

"Sir!" Mountain said, turning to Teal'c.

Teal'c tilted his head. "Were you committed to Airman Harris' side in this battle?"

Mountain looked around, not sure what he should answer, but Xander figured that no one in this room was on his side, no one with the possible exception of Teal'c, which was hugely odd.

Teal'c continued, "Are you an innocent bystander?"

Xander snorted. "Innocent bystanders run for the hills. Innocent bystanders want to avoid getting creamed. Anyone left to watch a fight is taking one side or the other, even if they're big old liars about it." Again, all the others kind of tittered over that.

"Indeed. Few truly innocent people remain at the site of a battle; however, do not discount that some watch only to know which side wins, Xander Harris. On a world where slaves must bend to those in power, most will seek to learn who is the power."

Wow, Xander hadn't thought of that. Clearly the rules changed some when going from demons to aliens. "Um... Okay Sorry about that, then. I'll try not to fling a village person into the middle of the fight." Xander wasn't even surprised when Cantone took that moment to try and counterattack. Xander darted behind two women and then over a bench to the relative safety of the weight lifting area where he could hide behind the tall machinery.

Cantone glanced over toward Teal'c. "Sir, this sort of fighting does not win battles."

"Indeed. It does not." Yep, Xander's one and only supporter was now jumping sides. Traitor. "Xander Harris, what is your objective?"

"Me? Now? Avoiding hospitalization, sir," Xander answered. That earned him a few laughs. Laughs were good. People who liked your jokes were less likely to break your bones.

Teal'c tilted his head to one side. "Were you to use this form of fighting in the field of battle, what would you hope to gain from it?"

"Oh." Xander kept an eye on Cantone as he answered. "Time. I may not be the ass-kicker of the group, but I can avoid being the ass-kickee until the rest of my team gets back from wherever they are, and maybe I can keep a couple of enemies distracted while my friends do something really clever on the other side of the gym. Or the battlefield," Xander quickly corrected himself. "You know... wherever you're fighting. I guess it will be villages. Lots of villages and a couple of pyramids." If Xander kept this up, he was going to talk himself into a section eight discharge--not that it would be bad necessarily. Buffy and Willow would worry less.

"The strategy is effective for those who are not warriors." Teal'c sounded like he approved.

Cantone dropped out of his fighting stance and backed away carefully, keeping an eye on Xander. "Sir, aren't we all soldiers here?"

"Indeed, but not all soldiers are warriors. Airman Harris' primary mission through the stargate, should he go, would be translation of Latin, Sumerian, or Mesopotamian script. Were he assigned to your team, you would wish for him to diligently avoid direct contact if possible."

"And if not possible? What are we supposed to do if we have linguists who don't fight?" one of the others demanded.

Teal'c studied the man. "Airman Harris competently wielded a P-90 and held position after sustaining serious injury during our last foothold situation. Where were you Captain Nelson?"

Xander watched as Captain Nelson's face slowly reddened until he looked like and overripe turnip. Yep. The captain had been getting some nookie, probably some gay nookie considering how few women there were in this place.

Teal'c acted like nothing was wrong and most of the trainees weren't studying the floor with great interest. "Nelson. Rosetti. Begin." Walking to the side of the room, Teal'c watched as Nelson, a tall man with a still-red face squared up against Rosetti, a woman who couldn't have weighed more the a hundred pounds. She looked like Buffy, which is why Xander wasn't surprised she kicked Nelson's ass. Now that Xander had used the entire gym to make his point, the other bouts ranged out into the gym proper, and more than one person looking for a quick workout scampered out of the room.

Xander fought three more individual rounds, two with men and one with a woman. He tricked one of the men into reaching through a machine to grab him before falling to the ground and cracking the guy's elbow against the weight plate. That one spent the rest of the lesson sitting on the side with an ice pack. The second guy couldn't get his hands on Xander and the woman clearly didn't have her heart in picking on Xander, not until he punched her in the nose. Then she not only caught him but took him down so hard that he saw stars.

By the time Teal'c had called for the training to end, Xander was panting from exhaustion and his newly healed leg was sending tingles up and down his bones. Healed might be strong a word. Half-healed. Psuedo-healed. Sorta-healed. They all fit better than actually healed healed.

"Tomorrow we evaluate on staff and rod weapons," Teal'c said, and Xander groaned with the rest of the trainees. He hadn't hurt this much since the last time he'd worked out with Buffy after she and Riley had their big fight.

"My bruises are bruised," one woman complained to her friends as they all drifted toward the door.

"That's not like your momma's sergeant taught you," Nelson joked, and he got a few laughs from the other psuedo-mountains. Xander faded back toward the bathrooms as the others wandered out into the hall. He wanted to check himself in the big mirrors and make sure he didn't have some big old piece of wood sticking out of his ass or something. He'd long ago learned that he didn't always notice an injury. Heading into the handicapped stall with its own low sink and large mirror, Xander locked the stall door and started stripping to check for damage.

His back was bruised, and one hip had a nice blood flower started, red streaks where the woman had thrown him on the raised strip that separated the practice mat from the carpet. Not too bad. After using the bathroom, Xander washed up and headed out into the gym. With everyone gone, it was oddly silent and Teal'c stood in the middle of the room staring at nothing. The man had a real Oz vibe. Oz back when the guy was doing like a pound of weed a day, even. Nothing flapped him back then. Of course, even when he stopped doing the drugs, Oz was still oddly unflapped by life.

"Hey, Teal'c," Xander offered as he headed for the door. "Thanks for not suggesting that I'm a total idiot for the running and hiding thing. Good night."

"Your strategy is sound."

Xander stopped. He did not hear that every day. "You know, I really appreciate you saying that. Sometimes I feel like me and the military are definitely unmixy. It's nice to know that someone thinks I might not be totally stupid."

"I do not believe you stupid at all. Daniel Jackson is quite impressed with you."

Xander could feel all the blood rise to his face. He so hoped that was an impressed with language skills because if Daniel were discussing other things with Teal'c, he was so dying for it. Dying slowly. Xander already had one embarrassingly blunt sexual partner.

"Those whose impressions of battle are formed within controlled circumstances often fail to account for the realities of war," Teal'c continued.

"They expect less flailing and scrambling," Xander translated.

"Indeed."

Walking over to a weight bench, Xander sat down. "I want to ask something, but I don't want to sound really odd when I ask it."

"I find you far less odd than the average Tau'ri," Teal'c assured him.

"Okay, seriously, that is really sad. You need to get out more."

Teal'c only inclined his head.

"Jaffa are different, right?"

"We are."

"Right." Xander played with the hem of his t-shirt. He really didn't want to sound like he was being insensitive, but he'd learned that you had to know your enemy. Stake a vampire in the heart. Decapitate a snake demon. Run like hell from a vengeance demon, unless you had the chance to pull her necklace off, and then pull the necklace off and then run like hell. Thaliaia had their genitals in their elbows. These were important things to know. "Okay, I don't want to sound like I'm a psycho, but how would I kill you? I mean, Jaffa in general. Do I hit for the stomach? Can I damage the symbiote? Is there a weakness or are we talking about running and just keep running until someone bigger and badder comes to the rescue?"

Surprise seemed to make Teal'c think about that for a minute. "Few Tau'ri wish to get close enough to a symbiote to harm it."

Xander frowned. "Why?"

That too seemed to require some thought on Teal'c's part. "They consider it slimy."

Xander almost laughed. He ran away from home and joined the military to get away from demons and slime, and he ended up with slimy aliens. "Slimy is not the end of the world. Dead is."

"I concur."

"So, is it vulnerable? Can I use it?"

Teal'c stepped closer and raised the bottom of his shirt. Xander studied the x-shaped pattern on Teal'c stomach, noting the slightly slick line along the edges. "Is that sealed off tight?"

"It is not. A symbiote will, at times, emerge for air."

"Well that's going to shock the shit out of a lover."

Teal'c smiled. "I prefer sexual partners who are well versed in Jaffa physiology."

"I can see why. I generally try to avoid sending people screaming out of bed. Not that you would. I mean, you're a handsome guy, it's just that things coming out of stomaches... Shit. Feel free to tell me to shut up."

"I shall not. You are honest in your judgments. Even Colonel O'Neill prefers to avoid the sight of my symbiote."

Xander nodded. It definitely hit the squick factor, that's for sure. The idea of some worm growing in there was enough to make a person avoid Jaffa sex. It definitely didn't seem like a good recruitment tool for the average goa'uld.

"If you reach in and grab it behind the head, you will find that it comes out quite easily," Teal'c offered.

"And if I catch it by the tail instead?"

"It will bite you."

"Good to know. So, I assume that they're aware of their surroundings enough to know who to attack."

"Most are," Teal'c agreed. "They have their own minds."

"Image that, cranky worm aliens." Xander sighed. He was starting to wonder where the line was between demon and alien. "Okay, so is that a vulnerability?"

"It is. If you have a Jaffa on the ground and can reach into the pouch, he will immediately focus on protection of his symbiote. Without it, he will die. More importantly, each symbiote is the child of one of the gods. To allow the child of a god to die is heresy."

"Yeah, gods can be cranky that way," Xander agreed. "So, I just shove my hand in?"

Teal'c took a long time to stare at Xander. So long that Xander actually reached up to check his face for hanging buggers. "You do. Point your fingers and place them at the center of the X." Teal'c gestured toward his stomach.

"With you?" Xander looked up, alarmed.

"If the appearance of the symbiote disturbs you--"

"No way. I work in commissaries. I've seen way worse." Xander didn't even bother mentioning the number of times Buffy had wiped slay-slime on his shirt. "I don't want to hurt your symbiote."

"They are quite durable. It is more likely that he will bite you."

"Can I get rabies from it?"

"No."

Xander shrugged. "Then I've survived worse." Xander put his fingers together and pressed on the center of the pouch. His fingers slid in easily, and inside was a warm, moving mass. It was a little like shoving your hand into a bowl of warm slimy snakes, which seemed way less with the metaphor than just a statement of fact. "Okay, that's the little guy?"

"It is."

"How do I tell head from tail?"

"The head is larger."

Xander felt his fingers up the length of the snake in Teal'c belly. "Does he every get cramped in here? I mean, he's really shoved in."

"Some days he bites me. I must assume it is due to his frustration."

"No joke. I'd be frustrated too. Okay, I feel a ridge."

"That is where the head begins. Hold it firmly just below that ridge and pull your hand out."

Xander carefully pulled out his hand, surprised how strong the snake was once he started pulling it out into the air. Oh yeah. He definitely was not a fan of air. "Okay, have him. I'm assuming I shouldn't drop him." Xander watched as the snake's tail whipped around before wrapping around Xander's wrist.

"You should not."

"So this is good?"

"Were you trying to kill me, yes. Without the symbiote, I am slightly weakened in the short term. In the long term, my strength and even my life are forfeit. Were you an enemy, I would be handicapped by my need to protect that symbiote."

"I'm guessing no firing staff weapons at me?"

"I would not risk firing any weapon at you."

"That's slightly of the good."

"It is."

"And how do I put him back?" Xander was actually a little weirded out holding Teal'c's snake. It was one thing to have Teal'c talk him through disabling a Jaffa, but it was another to have the man offer up his own body.

"Place the head of the symbiote near the entrance to my pouch, and he will reenter."

"Not a fan of the big, wide world then." Xander lowered his hand to Teal'c stomach and eased up on the snake's head. It darted for the stomach. "What happens if you already have a symbiote in there and another tries moving in?"

"They fight to the death."

"Lovely. These guys are just the life of the party, aren't they?"

"They do not party."

"And colloquialisms are not your thing." Xander sighed. He really liked Teal'c but he probably confused the crap out of him most of the time.

"They are not," Teal'c agreed. "If you wish to explore weaknesses, many Jaffa are taught particular fighting styles, each unique to his god. Many will refuse to alter their fighting strategies for fear of offending the god or the first prime who taught them."

"That's weirdly inflexible, but actually... actually it's kinda handy." Fledges were the same way--sticking to the growl and leap strategy even when it clearly didn't work. Xander could handle fledges or anything fledge-like. It was only master vampires with their stupid mind games and stupider hair that he couldn't handle.

"It is. Many times we have faced the Jaffa of Apophis, and his guards use a style called the ta'ka'rema. I shall show you." Teal'c went over to the wall and took two wooden staffs down. Inside Xander groaned at the idea of more fighting, but when the demons were coming, you had to get ready, even if it was finals and you really didn't have time to blow up a school. You made time.

"We shall begin with stances." Xander took the offered staff and imitated Teal'c's footwork. It was like being back in high school, only this time Giles wasn't ignoring him as he showed Buffy all the fancy fighting stuff, and Buffy wasn't complaining. Okay, so it wasn't so much like high school.

Letting his body follow Teal'c, Xander focused on studying each move for the dirty trick that would let him poke Teal'c in the genitals or symbiote before darting away. Yep, it might not be fair fighting and the others might make fun of him, but Xander Harris was not dying from an alien attack. No way. If anything was taking him down, it would be a good old-fashioned demon, and he was not dying out in space before that could happen. He would worry about being an alien-fighter next lifetime. This lifetime, his dance card of hate was already full. After all, he had to live long enough to go back to Sunnydale and stake Spike for getting him into all this in the first place.