Safe as Houses (Part Two)

[lionille]

Written for: 10tunes
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine.

Title: Safe as Houses (Part Two)
Characters: Neville/Harry
Prompt Song: Everybody's Changing ~ Keane
Rating: Slash
Summary: There were ten moments when everything changed for the better.
Author's Notes: Prompt table is here.

Comments

[lyras]

At least Neville's got Harry for company in the otherwise deserted Common Room. Harry never left the grounds anymore either, he was making Hermione look like a slacker in the book department. There was another one who, in Seamus' opinion, could've used a good afternoon at the pub.

There's a tense change here - it might sound better if you kept all of this para in the present tense.

Meanwhile, Augusta's old owl keeps coming.

But then there's this line, and I don't understand exactly why, but I just love it. Nice details, too, like the apple sectioning spell!

[lionille]

Thanks for the compliment, and the beta. :D
Does this look better?:
Harry never leaves the grounds anymore either, he's making Hermione look like a slacker in the book department. Harry's another one who, in Seamus' opinion, could use a good afternoon at the pub.

[lyras]

Does this look better?

Yes :). Although I think you could get away with "He's another one" instead of repeating Harry, but it's up to you, obviously!

[lionille]

^^ Thank you very much. I've had some coffee now and will try this again. :D

[secretsolitaire]

Mmmmm.

[lionille]

♥

[secretsolitaire]

Hey, secret, I'm going to sign up for the spring hpslashnotsmut exchange, do you mind if I list you on the questionnare as "Name of someone who knows you (and can keep a secret) that your gifter can go to if they have questions"? If not I can just leave it blank like I did last time. Let me know :)

[lionille]

*sigh* That anonymous comment was me, lionille, about the exchange....

[the_spinnersend]

This is interesting. I like how it is something that the slip into. It is something your stories always seem to have. Things aren't driven by inexplainable need and passion. They just happen, quietly.

[lionille]

Thanks :) I really do like the friendship part of ships the best. (sounds like a motto of some sort, doesn't it ~ "we put the ship in friendship") *needs coffee*

[the_spinnersend]

HAHA! That was funny. I wanna use it some how...

[lionille]

:D Oh, do, it could apply to so many pairings...