sixty four

[lionesssejant]

audio;

[Footsteps crunch with turf, there are two sets. One of them stops at tile.]

I don't want to go in.

[More in than she is already she means.]

...do you?

[She swallows, not audibly but with some imagination, it is there. A moment of truth is just beyond where they stand. What will they see? What will they leave here knowing? Already the option of

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"last of the vanished marvels"

[oshutup]

"It's fine, I'll be right back, so," he pauses. There are other things he wants to say. It's just a curse. they last longer than a day sometimes. we don't need to do this now. Except the last one would be a terrible kind of lie, the terrible that seeps between breaths and makes a home behind the eyes, tense and cold, so Peter says none of these. Instead he reaches out to brush a few stray strands of hair behind the Gentle's ear, rests a hand on her shoulder and offers a slight smile. He doesn't know what to make of a smile right now though, so what it means is lost even on him as he turns to enter farther into the Hall.

His footsteps echo and it doesn't take long to find what he came for, hoping not to see. Their faces seem strange to him, and it is the unsettling shock of this strangeness that has him taking two stilted steps backward, like he's trying to find his feet and having only the mildest of successes. Perhaps strange isn't the word. How could one truly make Lucy strange to him? Or Edmund? Or Caspian? No. It's wrong. All

"last of the vanished marvels"

[lionesssejant]

Always the big brother. How wrong can everything be if Peter is still around? Susan has been collecting tidbits like this, making a quilt to fight back the chill. They cannot be alone. They're a family. And this isn't Narnia. They've all come together, and one day, they will all leave together. One day

"last of the vanished marvels"

[oshutup]

"It's not really about fair, is it?" he asks her and it's not condescending, not like he knows, because he flat out doesn't. He feels like he should know by now. Aren't they old enough? Their surfaces don't convey this most of the time, but they have seen their prime adult years, ruled a kingdom fairly, and even after the horribleness of leaving without intent they helped to right the crown now fully restored. Departure here happens. They know this. But time has made them soft and fallibly optimistic, just as a year back in England made Peter unmoving and pridefully faulted more than he knew he could be. What ought he say to this situation?

What can he?

His hand holds fast to hers, like maybe that's enough when he's all too sure it isn't in the least.

"last of the vanished marvels"

[lionesssejant]

Does the heart make a noise as it sinks? Lucy, Edmund, Caspian, all of them are gone now without a goodbye. At least Aslan allowed them to say farewell. "I didn't think it would happen to us," she answers even though Susan is certain her brother meant that to be rhetorical. Yes, they should have known that it could happen at any time. All around them, friends returned to their homes and friends of them.

When did Peter get hands like this? They're not a boys hands. And hers, well, they're no more of a girls either. Like she had so many times before, she gives his hands a squeeze. "And so that's the way it will be."

She swallows and looks to the floor. It looks like there could be flooding if she doesn't blink frequently enough.