(no subject)
Title: Escape from Switzerland
Author:
aalatariel aka Jill
Rating: R and NC-17 on certain chapters
Summary: A bad Jacob fic that takes place after the first couple chapters of New Moon. Will Edward return in time?
A/N: My first posted serious fic. Please Read and Review and ENJOY! Please excuse typos. :)
Warnings: If you like Jacob at all please don't read. Also it has spoilers for New Moon. I also do not own Twilight.
My room seemed so much bigger as I stood in the middle of it. I noticed much more as my eyes fell on small details of my surroundings. My heart slammed in my chest as I forced air in and out of my lungs; I was nervous, that much was obvious. The decision wasn't easy, nor was it all that difficult, in fact, it was quite easy to imagine a world without the pain that I felt, and that's what made that world so much more appealing. Nevertheless, I was nervous, and it showed as the bottle of medicine I held rattled in my shaking hand. I had thought of Charlie in my equation and decided that I would go about this the right way, if such a way existed, it was the least I could do. I wouldn't go out in any dramatic fashion; I would close my eyes, think of Edward, and drift to sleep without a sound. Edward, I had never missed him as much as I did in this moment as my mind continued playing my last encounter with my estranged vampire love: "Bella, I don't want you to come with me." his icy voice echoed hauntingly in my ear. Over and over each syllable pounded that much pain into my heart, and that much certainty into my mind, that the decision I had made was the right one. If Edward didn't want me to come with him that badly then, this way, he would never have to worry about stumbling upon me again. My own breath caught in my throat as I stifled a cry and the sound of my voice startled me. I hadn't hear anything except my own thoughts for what seemed like an eternity after I had exited the shower. In the harsh light of the bathroom the bruises and scrapes on my arms seemed to be highlighted as if saying "Look how you were defeated a second time by a man you trusted." I had trusted Jacob but he was no man. Edward was a man trapped eternally as a seventeen year old, his mind was ever expanding to accommodate the knowledge he learned year after year; he still made mistakes but he was more of a man then anyone would ever see him as. Jacob, however, was a boy trying to survive as a boy, he was still learning right from wrong for the first time around and, apparently, still had some kinks to work out.
Every limb on my body ached as my fingertips traced the timeline of the day that had been left on my arms. My chest had been worse; covered in scrapes that burned with an unbearable intensity as I tried to clean up the best I could with my strawberry body wash. I turned towards the mirror as my fingertips found their way to my face. The large bruise on my cheek, from where I had hit the ground, seemed to have gotten bigger since the accident. Accident, that's what I was calling it, I wanted it to be an accident, I didn't want to believe that Jacob would have done those things intentionally, but something told me I couldn't be certain of what Jacob Black would, or wouldn't, do. I let my hand drop to my side as if in defeat. It would all be over soon, this pitiful existence. I would leave this shell of a bruised, battered, body behind and be free. At least I hoped that was what waited for me. It frightened me, a little, that I hadn't a single idea about what awaited me on the other side, but I knew that I wouldn't live in fear, or sadness, any longer. I worried about Charlie and Renee, but I decided that this one time, I needed to be selfish. Jacob had cut me down just when I was beginning to feel like I could start growing back up, making me feel less desirable then I had before. As he held me down, his hot breath on my face, I had finally realized that I was defeated. There would be no way that Edward would ever take me back after Jacob's hands had been all over me. His hot lips on mine had sealed my fate right then and there. Picking up a small glass of water off my dresser I stared at the pill bottle in my hand. Then, I took one final look in the mirror as thunder and lightening crashed outside illuminating my pale features momentarily; the rain was a comforting sound, white noise of sorts as I tried to numb my mind for the choice I had made. I shut my eyes tightly as I could as I envisioned a time when everything was perfect, in the meadow...
=========================================================================================================
My legs couldn't carry me fast enough as I sped into Forks. I didn't care who saw me, the Volturi could deal with me later, after I got to Bella, after...I couldn't let myself think that I was too late. Thankfully not a soul was visible on the street as the dark clouds above opened up and a torrential downpour began to cover the hot sidewalks causing steam to rise up. I fought to go faster than was even possible for a vampire and I knew with each step that I wasn't at Bella's the less chance I had to find her alive. I resisted the urge to break the treaty and cross werewolf lines to kill Jacob Black right that second, but I had to get to Bella first. The dog would be dealt with properly soon. Filthy mongrel, his own fleas should be ashamed for what he did. A deep growl rumbled in my chest as I began to edge closer and closer to my destination.
"You...don't...want me?" Her voice had been so weak, so small, so believing. How stupid could I have been? She had believe every word I had said how could I have just walked away? I shook the image from my mind. I had to concentrate, I had to go faster,
"GO!" I shouted aloud to only myself. Suddenly, Alice's thoughts invaded my mind 'Get to her now Edward. Go! The rest of our family wasn't too far behind us in the forest. I've rounded them up and we'll meet you at our house, our home, in Forks. Where we belong. Hurry brother! Run!' Alice encouraged me to go faster. I could feel the sobs tearing at my chest as I feared I was too late,
"BELLA!" I shouted into the night, but my shouts were drowned out by thunder. I saw the Swan residence in front of me, the light was on in Bella's room and I thought I could make out her small frame in the shadows by the window.
Fear ripped through me as my feet found their front porch. I didn't care how Charlie would react, I simply tore the front door from it's hinges as I flew threw the foyer. I heard it clatter loudly as it crashed to the floor and I flew up the stairs two at a time. I didn't blink, I didn't think, as Bella's bedroom door met a similar fate as the front door had. I threw the door behind me and rushed into the small bedroom,
"NO!" I roared as I crossed the room in a flash. I ripped the pill bottle from her shaking hand and whipped it across the room, the glass followed shattering against the far wall. She was still standing, staring at me, her face shocked and terrified. "How many did you take?!" I asked seizing her by the shoulders, "Bella answer me!" I demanded. She merely shook her small head, "You didn't take any?!" I asked, making sure I understood what she was telling me,
"...No." She said, her voice barely above a whisper. I looked into her deep brown eyes as I still held her shoulders firmly. Her eyes, at first, were void of any light, then, they changed in an instant as she looked at me. They brightened with hope as she realized that I wasn't a mirage,"...real, you're real." She choked out. She gazed at me like I was the most wonderful thing that she had ever seen, instead of the monster that I truly was, "Edward..." her voice cracked with emotion,
"Don't you dare do anything like that ever again! Do you..." my voice began to crack as I slowly came to realization that she would be fine, "do you...understand?" and with that ,I began to sob. I crushed her small frame to my chest and slowly sank to the floor in front of her window.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I repeated over and over as I smoothed her hair. I relished in the feel of her skin on mine once again, such a simple pleasure that I had missed so much. She sobbed too, and a feeling of relief washed over me when she fiercely clung to me instead of running away in fear or anger.
We sat like that for a long while, hours I believe. I hadn't been too late, I had gone fast enough, I had made it. But I couldn't help but think that there would have been no need for two broken doors if I had stayed in the first place. I looked down at the beauty in my arms and, for the first time, noticed the extensive bruise and cuts that covered her small arms. If I hadn't have left, there would be no such marks,
"I'm sorry..." I whispered again. She looked up at me, she was tired, but relieved that I was back. I didn't have to read her mind to be able to read what was written all over her face. She was crushed by what Jacob had done, how he had betrayed her, "We'll find a way to fix this." I told her, "You have my promise, and trust me, I will never break another promise to you." She nodded,
"I'm so tired, and sore." She admitted to me, "It hurt Edward, all of it, every day since you left. But when Jacob did what he did, it hurt in a different way and I don't just mean physical. Somehow it seemed to, confirm the fact that you would never be returning. I thought there would be no way that you would want me after he kissed me." A growl erupted from my throat,
"Bella, I love you." That sounded fantastic, "I love you so much and no matter what that will never change. If Jacob had been what you wanted then..." I didn't want to even finish that thought. I hugged Bella little tighter and she let out a yelp. I released her instantly,
"He hurt me badly Edward. Every part of me. I want Carlisle to look at me, I think I may have a few broken ribs...or something." Bella looked at me with pleading eyes,
"I promise you, we'll make this right. When does Charlie get back?" I asked her,
"A couple weeks, he's gone for a long fishing trip." Her chin began to tremble, "Don't make me stay here alone Edward." Her voice broke and she sobbed loudly into my chest,
"Why would I ever leave you alone ever again? Hmm? Why would I do that? You will not be out of my sight ever again okay?" I rubbed her back to slow her sobs before she hyperventilated,
"I just can't believe you're back...you're really back with me. You won't leave again." It wasn't a question, it was a statement and that made me happy. At that moment the phone rang, it startled both of us and I quickly grabbed the cordless phone that sat on the dresser and handed it to Bella,
"Hello?" She asked, the voice on the other end startled her and she quickly dropped the phone.
"Who was it?" I asked as I stood by her side. She turned to me and I knew instantly who had been the voice on the other end of the phone. I clenched my jaw, "We'll make it right." I reassured her once more. She looked so frail and damaged standing next to me yet, in that instant, I had never seen anything more beautiful in my entire existence.
"Can we go now?" Her voice brought me out of my reverie, "That is, if everyone is here....are they here or are they still...away?" She asked. I chanced a small smile,
"They are all back home. Also, they are all very anxious to see you." Emmett was anxious for other things as I read his thoughts of what he would like to do in regards to controlling the wolf population. "Of course we can go. Would you like to take anything with you?" I asked looking around her bedroom,
"No, nothing. I just want to leave. I want to be with my family." She walked ahead of me and down the stairs. I followed and swiftly reattached the front door so as not the alarm the neighbors. Bella's door could wait for another day,
"Can you hang on or would you like for me to carry you?" I asked her once we were out into the street. I didn't wait for an answer as I scooped Bella up into my arms. I took off running towards home with Bella clutched against my chest. I reached the front lawn and saw my entire family waiting on the front porch, a sense of complete relief instantly washed through me as I climbed the steps to the front porch, I wasn't sure if it was due to Jasper or something else and, in that instant, I didn't care.
"Are we home?" Bella mumbled in her exhausted state. I carried her inside and set her down gently on the couch. Esme quietly retrieved a blanket and covered her. I smiled at my love as she began to drift to sleep,
"Yes, we're home." I told her as I smoothed my hand over her back,
"Good. Don't ever make me leave okay?" She asked in a sleepy voice. I chuckled slightly at her request,
"I would never make you leave." I kissed her cheek softly reveling in the feeling of her soft skin against my cool lips. Carlisle appeared by my side,
"I'll examine her when she wakes up if that's what she wants but for now, it's best to let her sleep son." I nodded at my father's kind words. It could wait, getting Bella bandaged up and deciding what to do about Jacob Black could all wait...
Chapter 5
Chapter 4
Chapter 3
Chapter 2
Chapter 1
Author:
aalatariel aka Jill
Rating: R and NC-17 on certain chapters
Summary: A bad Jacob fic that takes place after the first couple chapters of New Moon. Will Edward return in time?
A/N: My first posted serious fic. Please Read and Review and ENJOY! Please excuse typos. :)
Warnings: If you like Jacob at all please don't read. Also it has spoilers for New Moon. I also do not own Twilight.
My room seemed so much bigger as I stood in the middle of it. I noticed much more as my eyes fell on small details of my surroundings. My heart slammed in my chest as I forced air in and out of my lungs; I was nervous, that much was obvious. The decision wasn't easy, nor was it all that difficult, in fact, it was quite easy to imagine a world without the pain that I felt, and that's what made that world so much more appealing. Nevertheless, I was nervous, and it showed as the bottle of medicine I held rattled in my shaking hand. I had thought of Charlie in my equation and decided that I would go about this the right way, if such a way existed, it was the least I could do. I wouldn't go out in any dramatic fashion; I would close my eyes, think of Edward, and drift to sleep without a sound. Edward, I had never missed him as much as I did in this moment as my mind continued playing my last encounter with my estranged vampire love: "Bella, I don't want you to come with me." his icy voice echoed hauntingly in my ear. Over and over each syllable pounded that much pain into my heart, and that much certainty into my mind, that the decision I had made was the right one. If Edward didn't want me to come with him that badly then, this way, he would never have to worry about stumbling upon me again. My own breath caught in my throat as I stifled a cry and the sound of my voice startled me. I hadn't hear anything except my own thoughts for what seemed like an eternity after I had exited the shower. In the harsh light of the bathroom the bruises and scrapes on my arms seemed to be highlighted as if saying "Look how you were defeated a second time by a man you trusted." I had trusted Jacob but he was no man. Edward was a man trapped eternally as a seventeen year old, his mind was ever expanding to accommodate the knowledge he learned year after year; he still made mistakes but he was more of a man then anyone would ever see him as. Jacob, however, was a boy trying to survive as a boy, he was still learning right from wrong for the first time around and, apparently, still had some kinks to work out.
Every limb on my body ached as my fingertips traced the timeline of the day that had been left on my arms. My chest had been worse; covered in scrapes that burned with an unbearable intensity as I tried to clean up the best I could with my strawberry body wash. I turned towards the mirror as my fingertips found their way to my face. The large bruise on my cheek, from where I had hit the ground, seemed to have gotten bigger since the accident. Accident, that's what I was calling it, I wanted it to be an accident, I didn't want to believe that Jacob would have done those things intentionally, but something told me I couldn't be certain of what Jacob Black would, or wouldn't, do. I let my hand drop to my side as if in defeat. It would all be over soon, this pitiful existence. I would leave this shell of a bruised, battered, body behind and be free. At least I hoped that was what waited for me. It frightened me, a little, that I hadn't a single idea about what awaited me on the other side, but I knew that I wouldn't live in fear, or sadness, any longer. I worried about Charlie and Renee, but I decided that this one time, I needed to be selfish. Jacob had cut me down just when I was beginning to feel like I could start growing back up, making me feel less desirable then I had before. As he held me down, his hot breath on my face, I had finally realized that I was defeated. There would be no way that Edward would ever take me back after Jacob's hands had been all over me. His hot lips on mine had sealed my fate right then and there. Picking up a small glass of water off my dresser I stared at the pill bottle in my hand. Then, I took one final look in the mirror as thunder and lightening crashed outside illuminating my pale features momentarily; the rain was a comforting sound, white noise of sorts as I tried to numb my mind for the choice I had made. I shut my eyes tightly as I could as I envisioned a time when everything was perfect, in the meadow...
=========================================================================================================
My legs couldn't carry me fast enough as I sped into Forks. I didn't care who saw me, the Volturi could deal with me later, after I got to Bella, after...I couldn't let myself think that I was too late. Thankfully not a soul was visible on the street as the dark clouds above opened up and a torrential downpour began to cover the hot sidewalks causing steam to rise up. I fought to go faster than was even possible for a vampire and I knew with each step that I wasn't at Bella's the less chance I had to find her alive. I resisted the urge to break the treaty and cross werewolf lines to kill Jacob Black right that second, but I had to get to Bella first. The dog would be dealt with properly soon. Filthy mongrel, his own fleas should be ashamed for what he did. A deep growl rumbled in my chest as I began to edge closer and closer to my destination.
"You...don't...want me?" Her voice had been so weak, so small, so believing. How stupid could I have been? She had believe every word I had said how could I have just walked away? I shook the image from my mind. I had to concentrate, I had to go faster,
"GO!" I shouted aloud to only myself. Suddenly, Alice's thoughts invaded my mind 'Get to her now Edward. Go! The rest of our family wasn't too far behind us in the forest. I've rounded them up and we'll meet you at our house, our home, in Forks. Where we belong. Hurry brother! Run!' Alice encouraged me to go faster. I could feel the sobs tearing at my chest as I feared I was too late,
"BELLA!" I shouted into the night, but my shouts were drowned out by thunder. I saw the Swan residence in front of me, the light was on in Bella's room and I thought I could make out her small frame in the shadows by the window.
Fear ripped through me as my feet found their front porch. I didn't care how Charlie would react, I simply tore the front door from it's hinges as I flew threw the foyer. I heard it clatter loudly as it crashed to the floor and I flew up the stairs two at a time. I didn't blink, I didn't think, as Bella's bedroom door met a similar fate as the front door had. I threw the door behind me and rushed into the small bedroom,
"NO!" I roared as I crossed the room in a flash. I ripped the pill bottle from her shaking hand and whipped it across the room, the glass followed shattering against the far wall. She was still standing, staring at me, her face shocked and terrified. "How many did you take?!" I asked seizing her by the shoulders, "Bella answer me!" I demanded. She merely shook her small head, "You didn't take any?!" I asked, making sure I understood what she was telling me,
"...No." She said, her voice barely above a whisper. I looked into her deep brown eyes as I still held her shoulders firmly. Her eyes, at first, were void of any light, then, they changed in an instant as she looked at me. They brightened with hope as she realized that I wasn't a mirage,"...real, you're real." She choked out. She gazed at me like I was the most wonderful thing that she had ever seen, instead of the monster that I truly was, "Edward..." her voice cracked with emotion,
"Don't you dare do anything like that ever again! Do you..." my voice began to crack as I slowly came to realization that she would be fine, "do you...understand?" and with that ,I began to sob. I crushed her small frame to my chest and slowly sank to the floor in front of her window.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I repeated over and over as I smoothed her hair. I relished in the feel of her skin on mine once again, such a simple pleasure that I had missed so much. She sobbed too, and a feeling of relief washed over me when she fiercely clung to me instead of running away in fear or anger.
We sat like that for a long while, hours I believe. I hadn't been too late, I had gone fast enough, I had made it. But I couldn't help but think that there would have been no need for two broken doors if I had stayed in the first place. I looked down at the beauty in my arms and, for the first time, noticed the extensive bruise and cuts that covered her small arms. If I hadn't have left, there would be no such marks,
"I'm sorry..." I whispered again. She looked up at me, she was tired, but relieved that I was back. I didn't have to read her mind to be able to read what was written all over her face. She was crushed by what Jacob had done, how he had betrayed her, "We'll find a way to fix this." I told her, "You have my promise, and trust me, I will never break another promise to you." She nodded,
"I'm so tired, and sore." She admitted to me, "It hurt Edward, all of it, every day since you left. But when Jacob did what he did, it hurt in a different way and I don't just mean physical. Somehow it seemed to, confirm the fact that you would never be returning. I thought there would be no way that you would want me after he kissed me." A growl erupted from my throat,
"Bella, I love you." That sounded fantastic, "I love you so much and no matter what that will never change. If Jacob had been what you wanted then..." I didn't want to even finish that thought. I hugged Bella little tighter and she let out a yelp. I released her instantly,
"He hurt me badly Edward. Every part of me. I want Carlisle to look at me, I think I may have a few broken ribs...or something." Bella looked at me with pleading eyes,
"I promise you, we'll make this right. When does Charlie get back?" I asked her,
"A couple weeks, he's gone for a long fishing trip." Her chin began to tremble, "Don't make me stay here alone Edward." Her voice broke and she sobbed loudly into my chest,
"Why would I ever leave you alone ever again? Hmm? Why would I do that? You will not be out of my sight ever again okay?" I rubbed her back to slow her sobs before she hyperventilated,
"I just can't believe you're back...you're really back with me. You won't leave again." It wasn't a question, it was a statement and that made me happy. At that moment the phone rang, it startled both of us and I quickly grabbed the cordless phone that sat on the dresser and handed it to Bella,
"Hello?" She asked, the voice on the other end startled her and she quickly dropped the phone.
"Who was it?" I asked as I stood by her side. She turned to me and I knew instantly who had been the voice on the other end of the phone. I clenched my jaw, "We'll make it right." I reassured her once more. She looked so frail and damaged standing next to me yet, in that instant, I had never seen anything more beautiful in my entire existence.
"Can we go now?" Her voice brought me out of my reverie, "That is, if everyone is here....are they here or are they still...away?" She asked. I chanced a small smile,
"They are all back home. Also, they are all very anxious to see you." Emmett was anxious for other things as I read his thoughts of what he would like to do in regards to controlling the wolf population. "Of course we can go. Would you like to take anything with you?" I asked looking around her bedroom,
"No, nothing. I just want to leave. I want to be with my family." She walked ahead of me and down the stairs. I followed and swiftly reattached the front door so as not the alarm the neighbors. Bella's door could wait for another day,
"Can you hang on or would you like for me to carry you?" I asked her once we were out into the street. I didn't wait for an answer as I scooped Bella up into my arms. I took off running towards home with Bella clutched against my chest. I reached the front lawn and saw my entire family waiting on the front porch, a sense of complete relief instantly washed through me as I climbed the steps to the front porch, I wasn't sure if it was due to Jasper or something else and, in that instant, I didn't care.
"Are we home?" Bella mumbled in her exhausted state. I carried her inside and set her down gently on the couch. Esme quietly retrieved a blanket and covered her. I smiled at my love as she began to drift to sleep,
"Yes, we're home." I told her as I smoothed my hand over her back,
"Good. Don't ever make me leave okay?" She asked in a sleepy voice. I chuckled slightly at her request,
"I would never make you leave." I kissed her cheek softly reveling in the feeling of her soft skin against my cool lips. Carlisle appeared by my side,
"I'll examine her when she wakes up if that's what she wants but for now, it's best to let her sleep son." I nodded at my father's kind words. It could wait, getting Bella bandaged up and deciding what to do about Jacob Black could all wait...
Chapter 5
Chapter 4
Chapter 3
Chapter 2
Chapter 1