Mine To Keep (or Another Day In The Life Of An Evil-Supervillain)
Author: linvro21
Title: Mine To Keep (or Another Day In The Life Of An Evil-Supervillain)
Word Count: ~1700
Pairing/Character: Evil!Jensen/ Assistant!Jared, minions, Evil!Misha, and more minions
Rating: PG-13
Genre: J2 AU
Summary: Research into the domination of man can be fun, painful and dangerous for some.
Warnings: Crack. Some minions, assistants and supervillains were harmed during the writing of this fic. Mis-use of the movie Despicable Me.
Disclaimer: If anyone thinks this is reality, I'd like to meet them! (and have them committed)
Note 1: Written for j2_crack. Thanks dephigravity for the image of Evil!Misha and his minions. Still no porn, sorry ashtraythief, but thanks for beta-ing this puppy in spite of it :)
Note 2: This fic follows an earlier fic in the Supervillain!Verse.
Mine To Keep (or Another Day In The Life Of An Evil-Supervillain)
This day was going to be even more exciting than yesterday, he thought while he fed his evil-looking poisonous fish after breakfast - they were a pukegreen color, had very sharp pointy teeth, and nasty looking spikes along the ridge of their backs. Jensen's evil plan to dominate one man was brilliant in it's simplicity, as he said so himself. He was not sure though, how to proceed from this point onwards.
Ring! Ring!
The sound of the telephone abruptly ended his train of thought, once again.
“Dr. Jackles speaking.”
“Hi Jensen, angel pie. How are things in the world-domination business?”
His mother. Of course...!
“Hello mother, things are actually close to pretty great. I have a new evil sub-plan lined up for today.”
“Pickle, a new plan? Oh, do tell me about it.”
Well, how would he explain his evil plan to her? Jensen suddenly became somewhat uncertain. Should he tell her about the man? Surely not about the dogs...
“Sweet cheeks, are you still there?”
“Um, actually mother, I'm going to hang up now. I have pressing matters to attend you. Domination and so on. Good day.”
Jensen felt quite good about himself after that. It was time he showed his mother he could take care of the family business by himself. A grown man, his age, didn't need a mother to check up on him like this! He would show her!
He picked up the phone and dialed Jared's number.
“Hello, this is Jared.”
Then he quickly hung up. Fudge! Showing his mother wasn't as easy as it had seemed a minute ago. He might just call her back, and ask her for a teeny bit of advice. No, he...
Ring! Ring!
“Dr. Jackles speaking. Mother, I'm a big boy and I...”
“Uh, you are, are you?” a male voice asked. “Not your mother calling, by the way.”
Hmm, that was new. And confusing. Who was calling him? He hoped it wasn't one of those people who would want him to buy non-evil things, or get a subscription to the magazine for world peace, or...
“This is Jared. You called and then hung up on me.”
“How did you...”
“Caller ID,” Jared said with a smile in his voice.
Jensen was very nervous. Jared was actually sitting on his couch right now. Jensen had kept it very brief on the telephone, only stating that he had an interesting offer that would benefit them both. Jared had been so curious that he had wanted to come by straight away.
“So?” asked Jared.
“So.” said Jensen. He was sitting in his evil-looking chair - the one with dragons carved in the legs and gargoyles in the back - for maximum effect. He tapped his fingers together, while he tried not to look Jared directly in the eye: he was even more ginourmously beautiful than he remembered from the other day.
“Yes, to explain... I'm eh, I'm looking for an assistant. I'm offering you a job actually. Doing research. With me.”
Jared kept eerily quiet. He had a puzzling look on his face - with some rather cute wrinkles in his forehead.
Jensen elaborated: “Research involving a sub-goal to my evil-plan of world-domination. I have a secret underground laboratory in which we will do most of this research, but it would also require us to do some field work. In return of course, I will offer you materials and my grounds to build your dog shelter.”
Jared looked really happy... and adorable with his big bright eyes, huge smile and actually tiny dimples.
“As a matter of coincidence,” Jared said after a while, “I think you have illegally green eyes, a devilish smile, and a sinister plan. You seem to be… overall very bad.”
Jensen flushed a bit at these compliments.
“Besides that, I like the whole 'mad-scientist' thing you've got going.”
After a pause Jared asked: “Do I get to wear a lab coat?”
They got out of his fast evil-looking car and he handed the keys to the valet. Jensen was holding a clipboard and pen. Jared kept a photo camera in his hand. Both were wearing their white lab coats: Jared had insisted on it. Then they went in.
It was very dark inside. Jensen thought it was a rather dangerous thing to do, as he could hardly see where he was going: he made a note about it. The walls were painted black and red, with some intricately decorated mirrors hanging from them. Jensen assumed Jared thought they looked beautiful as he took some pictures of them.
“I see they have rings with chains on the walls,” Jensen noted. “They must have many members who bring their dogs here.”
“I see some gymnastic equipment,” Jared said. “Those might be fun to research. It is healthy to stay fit. Did I tell you I run with my dogs every morning?”
They were greeted by a curious looking man. He was wearing an all-leather outfit, but he must be rather poor, as there were large parts of leather missing around the chest and bottom area's.
“I see,” the man said, “that you are into medical play? I will show you to our hospitalroom.” He guided them across the games room, past a man who had clearly committed some sort of offense to the rules, as he was being beaten with a ping pong bat by another player.
“I think there has been a misunderstanding here. We have come to research the domination of man.”
“Would you like to watch or experience?” the man simply asked.
“Watch.” Jensen said.
“Experience.” Jared said.
Jared had some trouble sitting down at the evil-desk, so Jensen handed him a soft cushion - with an embroidered skull - to sit on. They were both still somewhat in awe of the experiences the afternoon had brought them. They kinda liked it. He was also glad he had decided to participate after all. This domination business proved to be a pretty exciting and exhilarating hobby.
Jensen was drawing up some plans for contraptions to aid in their research. He was convinced he could do better than the ones Jared had tested at the club, he was an evil-supervillain after all. It would be nice to see Jared strapped on to a design of his own. The minions were already building the first machine. He couldn't wait to try it out later.
Ding! Dong!
The doorbell rang. Not what he needed: he could do without the distraction. He looked to his assistant for help.
Jared got up with a pained expression on his face. He wobbled up the tube, stepped out of the closet to shuffle to the front door. He opened to see an evil-looking man in a gray suit, accompanied by two little brown one-eyed (not-so) evil-looking furrballs.
“Hello.” After that he saw nothing but blackness.
Jared came to facing a very white wall. At first he thought he must be dreaming, but then he remembered the evil-looking man at the door. He registered he couldn't move his arms and legs. He could hear a man singing - pretty good actually - his own words to a classic rap-song with some sort of choir accompanying him.
Doctor MC will make you, (just the man singing)
Jump! Jump! (the choir singing)
And his minions will make you, (just the man again)
Jump! Jump! (the choir again)
Ahah, ahah. Jump! Jump! (all together)
Then the contraption Jared was tied to was turned around, so he could see an enormous, very bright, dome shaped room. The man in the gray suit came into view as well as hundreds more of the little brown furrballs.
“Homeboy, you with me? This is Doctor M to the C, yo yo.”
“Are you also doing research into domination?”
“How do you know about my evil plan to dominate the world? Speak!”
“I just figured... since you strung me up here like this...”
“I have ways to make you talk.” Dr. MC took out his squidgun.
“Oo, yes please,” Jared said. “Would you like some tips? Jensen and I did some research on this subject the other day. You could start with...”
Dr. MC rudely interrupted Jared's upbeat words: “Stop it! R E S T C E P, what does that spell?”
Jared and the minions looked confused.
Dr. MC continued his evil rant. “I will count to three and then you will disclose all of Dr. Jackles plans for any kind of domination. Or else! 1... 2...”
Ding! Dong!
The doorbell rang. “Oh no”, Jared thought, “it was about to get good.”
Dr. MC and his minions went to get the door. Jared heard some shuffling and crashing in the hallway. Then...
“Auch!” (Dr. MC)
“Where is Jared?” (Jensen)
“Squeak squeak!” (Jensen's minions)
“Prrrt prrrt!” (Dr. MC's minions)
“Booyakasha!” (Dr. MC)
“Hand over that gun!” (Jensen)
“Get that squid off my face!” (Dr. MC)
Jensen was glad to have his assistant back, save and sound in his lab. He was disappointed with himself though: he let Dr. MC abduct Jared, right here from his own evil-looking mansion. And to make matters worse, during the rescue operation, Dr. MC had managed to escape.
“What is the matter Jensen?”
“My mother is right, I am no good at world-domination. I can't even dominate one man properly.”
“Aw my evil overlord, I'm sure all you need is some practice.”
Part three...
Masterpost Supervillain!Verse
Comments = fluffy minions
Title: Mine To Keep (or Another Day In The Life Of An Evil-Supervillain)
Word Count: ~1700
Pairing/Character: Evil!Jensen/ Assistant!Jared, minions, Evil!Misha, and more minions
Rating: PG-13
Genre: J2 AU
Summary: Research into the domination of man can be fun, painful and dangerous for some.
Warnings: Crack. Some minions, assistants and supervillains were harmed during the writing of this fic. Mis-use of the movie Despicable Me.
Disclaimer: If anyone thinks this is reality, I'd like to meet them! (and have them committed)
Note 1: Written for j2_crack. Thanks dephigravity for the image of Evil!Misha and his minions. Still no porn, sorry ashtraythief, but thanks for beta-ing this puppy in spite of it :)
Note 2: This fic follows an earlier fic in the Supervillain!Verse.
Mine To Keep (or Another Day In The Life Of An Evil-Supervillain)
This day was going to be even more exciting than yesterday, he thought while he fed his evil-looking poisonous fish after breakfast - they were a pukegreen color, had very sharp pointy teeth, and nasty looking spikes along the ridge of their backs. Jensen's evil plan to dominate one man was brilliant in it's simplicity, as he said so himself. He was not sure though, how to proceed from this point onwards.
Ring! Ring!
The sound of the telephone abruptly ended his train of thought, once again.
“Dr. Jackles speaking.”
“Hi Jensen, angel pie. How are things in the world-domination business?”
His mother. Of course...!
“Hello mother, things are actually close to pretty great. I have a new evil sub-plan lined up for today.”
“Pickle, a new plan? Oh, do tell me about it.”
Well, how would he explain his evil plan to her? Jensen suddenly became somewhat uncertain. Should he tell her about the man? Surely not about the dogs...
“Sweet cheeks, are you still there?”
“Um, actually mother, I'm going to hang up now. I have pressing matters to attend you. Domination and so on. Good day.”
Jensen felt quite good about himself after that. It was time he showed his mother he could take care of the family business by himself. A grown man, his age, didn't need a mother to check up on him like this! He would show her!
He picked up the phone and dialed Jared's number.
“Hello, this is Jared.”
Then he quickly hung up. Fudge! Showing his mother wasn't as easy as it had seemed a minute ago. He might just call her back, and ask her for a teeny bit of advice. No, he...
Ring! Ring!
“Dr. Jackles speaking. Mother, I'm a big boy and I...”
“Uh, you are, are you?” a male voice asked. “Not your mother calling, by the way.”
Hmm, that was new. And confusing. Who was calling him? He hoped it wasn't one of those people who would want him to buy non-evil things, or get a subscription to the magazine for world peace, or...
“This is Jared. You called and then hung up on me.”
“How did you...”
“Caller ID,” Jared said with a smile in his voice.
Jensen was very nervous. Jared was actually sitting on his couch right now. Jensen had kept it very brief on the telephone, only stating that he had an interesting offer that would benefit them both. Jared had been so curious that he had wanted to come by straight away.
“So?” asked Jared.
“So.” said Jensen. He was sitting in his evil-looking chair - the one with dragons carved in the legs and gargoyles in the back - for maximum effect. He tapped his fingers together, while he tried not to look Jared directly in the eye: he was even more ginourmously beautiful than he remembered from the other day.
“Yes, to explain... I'm eh, I'm looking for an assistant. I'm offering you a job actually. Doing research. With me.”
Jared kept eerily quiet. He had a puzzling look on his face - with some rather cute wrinkles in his forehead.
Jensen elaborated: “Research involving a sub-goal to my evil-plan of world-domination. I have a secret underground laboratory in which we will do most of this research, but it would also require us to do some field work. In return of course, I will offer you materials and my grounds to build your dog shelter.”
Jared looked really happy... and adorable with his big bright eyes, huge smile and actually tiny dimples.
“As a matter of coincidence,” Jared said after a while, “I think you have illegally green eyes, a devilish smile, and a sinister plan. You seem to be… overall very bad.”
Jensen flushed a bit at these compliments.
“Besides that, I like the whole 'mad-scientist' thing you've got going.”
After a pause Jared asked: “Do I get to wear a lab coat?”
They got out of his fast evil-looking car and he handed the keys to the valet. Jensen was holding a clipboard and pen. Jared kept a photo camera in his hand. Both were wearing their white lab coats: Jared had insisted on it. Then they went in.
It was very dark inside. Jensen thought it was a rather dangerous thing to do, as he could hardly see where he was going: he made a note about it. The walls were painted black and red, with some intricately decorated mirrors hanging from them. Jensen assumed Jared thought they looked beautiful as he took some pictures of them.
“I see they have rings with chains on the walls,” Jensen noted. “They must have many members who bring their dogs here.”
“I see some gymnastic equipment,” Jared said. “Those might be fun to research. It is healthy to stay fit. Did I tell you I run with my dogs every morning?”
They were greeted by a curious looking man. He was wearing an all-leather outfit, but he must be rather poor, as there were large parts of leather missing around the chest and bottom area's.
“I see,” the man said, “that you are into medical play? I will show you to our hospitalroom.” He guided them across the games room, past a man who had clearly committed some sort of offense to the rules, as he was being beaten with a ping pong bat by another player.
“I think there has been a misunderstanding here. We have come to research the domination of man.”
“Would you like to watch or experience?” the man simply asked.
“Watch.” Jensen said.
“Experience.” Jared said.
Jared had some trouble sitting down at the evil-desk, so Jensen handed him a soft cushion - with an embroidered skull - to sit on. They were both still somewhat in awe of the experiences the afternoon had brought them. They kinda liked it. He was also glad he had decided to participate after all. This domination business proved to be a pretty exciting and exhilarating hobby.
Jensen was drawing up some plans for contraptions to aid in their research. He was convinced he could do better than the ones Jared had tested at the club, he was an evil-supervillain after all. It would be nice to see Jared strapped on to a design of his own. The minions were already building the first machine. He couldn't wait to try it out later.
Ding! Dong!
The doorbell rang. Not what he needed: he could do without the distraction. He looked to his assistant for help.
Jared got up with a pained expression on his face. He wobbled up the tube, stepped out of the closet to shuffle to the front door. He opened to see an evil-looking man in a gray suit, accompanied by two little brown one-eyed (not-so) evil-looking furrballs.
“Hello.” After that he saw nothing but blackness.
Jared came to facing a very white wall. At first he thought he must be dreaming, but then he remembered the evil-looking man at the door. He registered he couldn't move his arms and legs. He could hear a man singing - pretty good actually - his own words to a classic rap-song with some sort of choir accompanying him.
Doctor MC will make you, (just the man singing)
Jump! Jump! (the choir singing)
And his minions will make you, (just the man again)
Jump! Jump! (the choir again)
Ahah, ahah. Jump! Jump! (all together)
Then the contraption Jared was tied to was turned around, so he could see an enormous, very bright, dome shaped room. The man in the gray suit came into view as well as hundreds more of the little brown furrballs.
“Homeboy, you with me? This is Doctor M to the C, yo yo.”
“Are you also doing research into domination?”
“How do you know about my evil plan to dominate the world? Speak!”
“I just figured... since you strung me up here like this...”
“I have ways to make you talk.” Dr. MC took out his squidgun.
“Oo, yes please,” Jared said. “Would you like some tips? Jensen and I did some research on this subject the other day. You could start with...”
Dr. MC rudely interrupted Jared's upbeat words: “Stop it! R E S T C E P, what does that spell?”
Jared and the minions looked confused.
Dr. MC continued his evil rant. “I will count to three and then you will disclose all of Dr. Jackles plans for any kind of domination. Or else! 1... 2...”
Ding! Dong!
The doorbell rang. “Oh no”, Jared thought, “it was about to get good.”
Dr. MC and his minions went to get the door. Jared heard some shuffling and crashing in the hallway. Then...
“Auch!” (Dr. MC)
“Where is Jared?” (Jensen)
“Squeak squeak!” (Jensen's minions)
“Prrrt prrrt!” (Dr. MC's minions)
“Booyakasha!” (Dr. MC)
“Hand over that gun!” (Jensen)
“Get that squid off my face!” (Dr. MC)
Jensen was glad to have his assistant back, save and sound in his lab. He was disappointed with himself though: he let Dr. MC abduct Jared, right here from his own evil-looking mansion. And to make matters worse, during the rescue operation, Dr. MC had managed to escape.
“What is the matter Jensen?”
“My mother is right, I am no good at world-domination. I can't even dominate one man properly.”
“Aw my evil overlord, I'm sure all you need is some practice.”
Part three...
Masterpost Supervillain!Verse
Comments = fluffy minions