Fic: The Power of Friendship
Title: The Power of Friendship
Author: linelenagain
Wordcount: ~4,000
Rating: PG
Characters: Kirk/McCoy, Chapel, Rand
Summary: Kirk and McCoy sure are cute together, aren't they?
Notes: Comment fic for a team_jones away mission, as a gift for pixelmayhem, in celebration of our BFF-itude.
This fic has been REMIXED by the amazing skyblue_reverie! I encourage everyone to go read her version, because it is awesome.
Yeoman Janice Rand sighed into her coffee.
“Stop looking at them,” hissed Christine Chapel, pointedly staring at the cup of mixed fruit sitting on the table in front of her.
Janice ducked her head, her pale cheeks flushing with color. “I can’t help it,” she said in a low voice. “They’re just so adorable.”
Christine glanced over at the table next to them, being careful to keep her face pointed straight ahead. “I know,” she said, wistfully. “But you’re being obvious.”
“The Captain is used to people looking at him,” Janice shrugged. “He’d be more likely to notice how carefully you’re not looking.”
Christine bit her lip in an attempt to stifle a grin. “Oh, I don’t think he’s too apt to notice me right now. He seems a bit... preoccupied.”
Janice giggled behind her hand. “And who could blame him?” She asked, canting her head slightly in the direction of Captain James T. Kirk and Lieutenant-Commander Leonard McCoy, who were currently in the midst of an epic argument about the nutritional value of Jim’s breakfast.
“It’s oatmeal, Bones! Oatmeal is healthy, you told me so! Are you calling yourself a liar? Because I won’t tolerate insubordination on my ship,” Jim said with a smile, punching Leonard gently in the shoulder.
Leonard elbowed Jim in the side, but looked sideways at him with a fond expression. “There’s more sugar than oats in there. And don’t even think about adding chocolate chips. Yes, before you ask, I do know about that, and you’ll never find out how. Why don’t you add raisins or something if you can’t man up and eat it straight?”
Jim looked scandalized. “Raisins? That’s disgusting. You’re disgusting. Raisins aren’t even food, they are food mummies.”
Christine choked her laugh into a cough. Her dissemblance was unnecessary, however; neither man seemed to notice the sound.
Janice kicked her under the table. “Now who’s being obvious?”
“Well, I can’t help it either!” Christine sighed. “They’re so cute together!”
“Keep your voice down!” Janice whispered. With a quick glance to either side, she lowered her head conspiratorially. “Do you think they’re...you know...together, together?”
Christine licked her lips. “No! In fact, I know they aren’t. I overheard the Captain talking to Dr. McCoy about his one-night stand on Risa the other day.”
“Ooooh,” Janice whistled. “Bet McCoy wasn’t too happy about that.”
“He wasn’t!” Christine smirked. “Insisted on giving the captain his STI boosters immediately. I didn’t even know hyposprays could make bruises like that.” She shuddered. “And he was even grumpier than usual for the rest of the day.”
“They’re so stupid sometimes,” Janice frowned. “They’d be just perfect together. And I know the Captain likes him.”
Christine perked up, leaning across the table. “Oh! Spill it!”
“He forgot his PADD the other day while he was on-shift, and I had to run to his quarters to get it. I took the opportunity to look around.”
“Oh, you didn’t!” Christine covered her mouth with a hand.
Janice smirked. “Of course I did! And you’ll never guess what I found!”
“Tell me, you hag!” Christine reached over to pinch Janice’s arm.
“Hey!” Janice squeaked, cradling the abused limb. “Be nice or my secrets die with me.”
“I can expedite that process,” Christine said, eyes narrowing.
“Fine, fine,” Janice stood, walking around the table to sit on Christine’s right, and leaned over to whisper in her ear. “Kirk keeps a picture of him and McCoy on his nightstand. A ridiculously cute one. It looks like they were on vacation together somewhere - camping or something. And McCoy was smiling.”
Christine clapped her hands, then dropped them to her lap with embarrassing speed. “Really smiling?”
“Hugely smiling. I mean, I’ve seen him smirk and shit, but he was grinning like a six-year-old girl who just got a pony. And he had an arm around Kirk!”
“Oh,” Christine sighed. “I’d pay good money to see that.”
Janice smiled. “Next time I’ll bring you.”
“And it was on his nightstand?” Christine repeated for emphasis.
“Yep. I bet he falls asleep looking at it.” Both women sighed happily.
“You know,” Janice said around a mouthful of grapefruit. “I bet we could get them together.”
Christine’s jaw dropped. “It’s like you read my mind.”
Janice grinned, glancing over at the other table. Kirk and McCoy seemed to be engaged in some kind of staring contest. Suddenly, Kirk flinched.
“Yes!” McCoy shouted, jumping out of his chair to throw his arms up in a victory V.
“You cheated!” Kirk said, mouth agape. “You totally kicked me under the table!”
“Slander and lies!” McCoy pointed at him. “Besides, there’s no rule against kicking. I won, fair and square.”
“Shut up, I hate you.” Kirk stabbed his oatmeal viciously with his spoon.
“Your hatred is irrelevant, though gratifying,” McCoy smirked at him. “I’ll expect you in sickbay by sixteen-hundred for your allergy tests.”
“Oh, come on,” Kirk whined. “Can’t I just temporarily promote you over Spock so you can order him around for a week or so?”
Temptation flashed clearly across McCoy’s stunned features. Kirk smiled. “Come on, Bones, picture it. I bet you could order him to do illogical shit, like wear a ridiculous hat or something. We could take pictures and make one into a holiday card.”
McCoy smiled blissfully at the mental image, then closed his eyes and gave himself a quick shake. “It’s a good offer, Jim, but I honestly don’t want to spend that much time with him. Allergy shots it is.”
“Well, shit,” Jim said with a frown, pointedly scooping more sugar into his bowl.
--
You know the plan?
Christine rolled her eyes at Janice’s message. She typed and sent a quick affirmative just as the Captain strolled into sickbay.
“Right this way, Sir,” she smiled, ushering him over to a bio-bed.
He grinned back affably, hopping up onto the bed. “Where’s Bones?”
I spilled Andorian-flatworm anti-venom on him, which is possibly the vilest smelling substance in the known universe, and he had to go shower. “Oh, he left to go grab a shower. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he had a date planned.”
Kirk narrowed his eyes. “A date? You think so?”
She smiled, sweetly. “It seems likely! He was certainly acting chipper enough, and he even asked me what shirt he should wear tonight.”
“Seriously?” Kirk asked, frowning. “What’d you say?”
“The green button-down,” Christine said innocently, hoping that Janice had been able to put a hold on all McCoy’s other laundry.
“Yeah, that’s a good one,” Kirk nodded. “Compliments his eyes.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Christine fought to hold back a smug grin. “Oh look, he’s back!”
The sickbay doors opened with a hiss and McCoy entered, looking more sour than usual, but wearing the green shirt. He nodded at her, then, spying the Captain, brightened a bit. “Chapel. Jim.”
“Welcome back, Doctor,” she said. “If you don’t need me, I have some reports to finish.”
“Huh? Oh, of course,” McCoy shrugged, not looking away from Kirk. “Now, where did I put that hypo?”
She held back her laughter until the door to her small office closed behind her. Then she doubled, over, gasping into giggles and fumbling for her communicator. Flipping it open, she paged Janice.
“How’d it go?” Her friend’s voice asked, eagerly.
“Beautifully,” Christine said, opening the door a crack and peering through. She couldn’t quite make out what the two men were saying, but they seemed relaxed and happy. “Did you have any trouble?”
“Nope! All of McCoy’s laundry is currently on hold.”
“You should start it up again soon, or he’ll get suspicious.”
“I will. How’s it going down there?”
“Seems promising,” Christine said, straining to hear the voices across the room. “They’re talking. The Captain is smiling. Doctor McCoy is smiling too. Now he’s picking up a hypo. Now- ooooh, that looked like it hurt.”
“What’s Kirk doing!”
Christine bit her lip. “Umm...right now he’s got his hand over his neck and he’s making faces. It doesn’t seem to bother McCoy though. Oh! Kirk’s getting up...he’s... oh dammit, he’s walking out of sickbay. Damn.”
“Go find out what happened and report back!”
“Will do. Chapel out.” She flipped her communicator shut with a click and slipped out of her office. As she approached McCoy, she noticed that he seemed to be lost in thought. He didn’t even notice her when she was standing beside him, and eventually she cleared her throat, softly. “Ahem.”
“What!” McCoy jumped. “Oh, Chapel. Reports didn’t take long?”
“I decided they could wait,” she said. “I just wanted to apologize again for spilling that anti-venom on you.”
McCoy shuddered. “Oh trust me, you’ll be making that up to me next time we do inventory.
Christine cringed, telling herself internally that it was for the greater good. When her boss was happy, she was happy, and nothing seemed to make Leonard McCoy happy like a healthy dose of Jim Kirk. “Of course. How’d things go with the Captain?”
McCoy smiled, but she was pretty sure he didn’t realize it. “Jim’s fine. Just fine.”
I bet he is. “Are you two meeting up later?”
He quirked an eyebrow at her. “No. Why would we?”
“Oh...” She thought frantically. “No reason. I just figured, since you’re friends...” She let the sentence trail off, lamely.
McCoy shrugged. “He said he had plans with Spock tonight. Then he told me not to do anything he wouldn’t do. Strangest thing.”
“He’s an odd one,” Christine said, deflated.
“That he is,” McCoy off-handedly replied.
--
“This plan is going to get us fired,” Janice hissed under her breath.
Christine kicked her in the ankle. “No, it’s brilliant. Besides, we tried it your way and we all saw how well that turned out.”
“That was not the fault of the plan!” Janice protested, hopping up to sit on Christine’s desk. “If anything, the failure was in the execution!”
“Oh, I know you didn’t just say that.” Christine narrowed her eyes.
Janice shrugged. “Look, it doesn’t matter. Once I poison the captain I’m going to be court-martialed and left to rot in jail forever.”
Christine tapped a pen against her lips thoughtfully. “No, Dr. McCoy would probably kill you with his laser-scalpel.”
“Oh, that’s so much better, thanks.” Janice shuddered. “Promise me again this isn’t going to kill Kirk.”
“I swear.” Christine laid a hand over her heart. “I read his medical file cover to cover. If anyone’s going to get fired it’s me for snooping.”
“I covered your tracks,” Janice said, reassuringly.
“Thanks. Anyway, you won’t kill him. He’s allergic to almond extract, but only just. Use three drops, he’ll get a migraine like you wouldn’t believe, but he’ll be okay.”
“He powers through headaches,” Janice reminded her. “He won’t go to sickbay.”
“He won’t have to,” Christine said. “I’m going to mention to McCoy that I happened to see Kirk on my way back from the bridge, and that he seemed fatigued and not himself.”
“Won’t he wonder why you were on the bridge?”
“No,” Christine said, pulling a hypospray out of her pocket and stabbing it quickly into her friend’s neck.
“Oh Christ, what was that for?” Janice said, rubbing her neck and looking murderous.
“You’re due for your contraceptive booster. You’ll thank me next shore leave!”
“You could have warned me!”
Christine shrugged. “Better just to get it over with. No time to dread. Anyway, I’ll just tell him that I went up to the bridge to give you your hypo. You have the mark to prove it now.”
Janice narrowed her eyes. “Fine. But I still hate you.”
“Shut up, it’s almost time.” Christine pressed the vial of almond extract into her friend’s hand. “Three drops in his coffee. Comm me when it starts to take effect.”
--
As she watched McCoy lead the captain into sickbay, one arm around his shoulder and the other on his waist, Christine almost couldn’t stop herself from doing a happy dance. She was almost positive the doctor was whispering something soothing in Kirk’s ear, if the expression of gentle concern on his face was anything to go by. Still, he could just as easily be cussing the man out for making McCoy go up to the bridge to retrieve him - but that was probably still soothing, if you knew the man.
She stood motionless in the doorway as McCoy helped Kirk onto a bed. Neither man seemed to have noticed her, and that was how she preferred it - Janice would be expecting details. McCoy ordered the lights dimmed, then walked over to the supply cabinet.
He shuffled through it for a few minutes before calling out for her softly, clearly mindful of Kirk’s migraine. “Christine! Where the hell’s the Codinide!”
She was at his side in an instant. “We’re out, Doctor,” she said, smoothly.
He looked at her askance. “How can we be out? I ordered extra - it’s the only painkiller the captain isn’t allergic to.”
She schooled her face into the most innocent look she knew. “There must have been a mix-up with the shipment. I’ll take care of it - we can pick up more when we stop at Starbase-6 in a day or two.”
“Well that doesn’t do jack shit for Jim now,” McCoy grumbled.
She smiled, at the last moment subverting a wicked grin into a small upturn of her lips. “You know, when I was in nurse’s training I had a patient who suffered from chronic migraines. He’d built up a tolerance to the standard painkillers. Only thing that helped was laying in a quiet, dark room for a few hours - except...”
McCoy looked at her hopefully. “Except what?”
“Well, his spouse would always sit by him and stroke his hair. He used to swear it was the only thing that made the pain tolerable.”
McCoy froze. “You’re not seriously suggesting I try that?”
She shrugged. “I’m not suggesting anything. I just feel bad for Captain Kirk - he seems to be in agony.” She almost clapped her hands with glee at McCoy’s stricken expression. “I can hold down the fort here if you want to monitor him. I know his medical situation is somewhat volatile.”
“Yeah,” McCoy said, biting his lip. “That’s probably a good idea. Thanks.”
“You are so welcome.” Christine smiled, as sweetly as she knew how.
--
“And then what happened!” Janice leaned in, not breathing.
“Well, I could tell you. Or you could look at these security stills I snagged,” Christine said, holding up her PADD and waving it around, tantalizingly.
“Gimme!” Janice snatched it out of her hands. She looked down at the screen and seemed to almost literally melt. “Awwww...”
Christine smiled, glancing down over Janice’s shoulder at the screen. For a still from the security feed, the image was surprisingly clear: Dr. McCoy, in a chair pulled up to the captain’s bedside, hand laying gently on the top of Kirk’s head. His expression was peaceful, almost contemplative, and for a man suffering from a severe migraine, Kirk looked positively content.
“You are so sending me a copy of that,” Janice said, firmly.
“Already done.” Christine smirked. “I told you it was a brilliant plan.”
“So what happened next?”
The smile fell from Christine’s face, and she signed. “Nothing. The captain got up after a while and left.”
Janice’s mouth fell open. “That’s it?”
Christine ran a hand through her hair. “I know, I know. But we’re getting closer.”
“I could poison him again?” Janice suggested, hopefully.
After a moment of consideration, Christine shook her head. “They’ll start to get suspicious. If McCoy runs tests, we’re screwed.”
Janice sighed, and they sat in silence for a while, pondering. After a moment she spoke. “I could tell McCoy that Kirk likes him.”
Christine bit her lip. “Well, subtlety certainly hasn’t worked. I don’t think he’d believe you, though.”
“Of course he would,” Janice looked affronted. “I’m Kirk’s Yeoman. Who spends more time following him around than me? If anyone would know, I would.”
“Yeah, but McCoy’s canny. He won’t make a move unless he’s a hundred percent sure. You’d need proof, and we haven’t got it.”
Janice slouched against the back of the sofa, pouting. “But there isn’t any.” Then she straightened, a sly smile spreading over her face.
Christine frowned. “What’s that look? That’s a bad look.”
“There isn’t any...but we could make some.” Janice said, her grin rapidly shifting towards the ‘evil’ end of the spectrum.
“Go on,” Christine said, intrigued.
Janice leaned forward. “Okay, here’s what you do...”
--
“Doctor McCoy!” Christine ran over to him as soon as he entered sickbay for the start of his shift. “I have a problem.”
“What is it?” He asked, walking towards his office, PADD in hand.
“Have you checked your messages this morning?” She grabbed his arm, eyes wide and serious, and he stopped in his tracks.
“No,” he said, “Should I?”
“Oh, thank goodness,” she slumped a little in relief. “I accidentally forwarded you a message meant for Yeoman Rand. It concerns some...sensitive...information about the captain. If you could just delete it without reading it, I’d appreciate it very much.”
McCoy frowned. “About Jim? I probably already know it.”
“No!” She gasped, squeezing his arm tighter. “You can’t read it! Please?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Why? What’s he hiding?” He lifted his PADD, hitting a few buttons.
Christine buried her face in her hands. “Oh no,” she wailed.
Peeking through her fingers, she watched her boss’s face grow redder and redder. “Christine, what the hell is this?” He asked, shoving the PADD in her direction.
“You were never supposed to see that!” She snapped. “It was a mistake!”
“A mistake? A mistake? Let me read this aloud for you.” McCoy scowled.
“Yeoman Rand,
In response to your query, no, I find it absolutely implausible that Doctor McCoy could harbor those sorts of feelings for Captain Kirk. He has never exhibited anything but the utmost professionalism in the captain’s presence, or given any indication that he and the captain are more than the best of friends.
I realize this may be difficult for Kirk to hear, but you’re going to have to break the news to him. If you can do it subtly, fine, if not, the sooner the better. It may be painful, but so is unrequited love. He should start moving on as soon as possible.
Respectfully,
Christine Chapel”
McCoy pointed a finger at her. “What the hell is this all about!”
Christine sighed. “Yeoman Rand messaged me regarding the captain’s recent emotional state. Apparently, he’s been in love with you for some time, and Janice is concerned. She wanted to know if she should try and let him down easy.”
McCoy froze, mouth agape, finger still hovering in midair. After a long moment, he gave himself a shake. “How would she know a thing like that?”
“She’s his Yeoman,” Christine said, like the answer was obvious. “I imagine he said something indiscreet when he didn’t realize she could hear him. She’s very unobtrusive.”
“Did she get a copy of this?” McCoy asked, almost too quickly to be understood.
“Of course,” Christine said. “I imagine she’s already started encouraging him to look elsewhere. Don’t worry,” she laid a hand gently on his shoulder. “Soon Captain Kirk will forget all about this.”
“Shit!” McCoy spun, dropping his PADD and barreling through the sickbay doors at full tilt.
Christine stood there, smiling for a long moment. “You are unobtrusive,” she said, to the room at large.
Janice appeared, seemingly out of the shadows near the supply closet. “Yes,” she said, smugly. “I am.”
--
“So!” McCoy drawled, dropping his lunch tray next to Christine’s with a clatter.
“Doctor McCoy!” Christine started, and Janice, sitting across from her, almost choked on a bite of her salad.
“Careful there, Yeoman!” Captain Kirk said, taking the seat next to her and across from McCoy.
“Captain!” Janice gasped, slamming a fist into her chest and coughing. “What can...what can I do for you?”
“Hmm...” Kirk leaned onto the table, supporting his chin in his hand. “What a good question. Bones, care to field that one?”
McCoy smirked, leaning back into his chair and shrugging. “Nah, that’s okay, Jim. You can handle it.”
Christine stood, grabbing her tray. “I’ll just be going-”
“Sit.” Kirk smiled, not at all innocently. Christine sat. “So, ladies. I understand we have a little problem with the messaging system?”
Janice widened her eyes. “I don’t know what you could mean, Captain.”
“I think you’d classify it more as ‘user error,’” McCoy said, matching Jim’s wicked expression.
“You are so right,” Kirk said, tipping back in his chair. “Christine, would you like to comment?”
She felt the blood rush to her cheeks. “No, Captain.”
“Thought not.” Kirk shrugged. He leaned forward, suddenly serious. “You’re both relieved from duty.”
“What?” Janice choked, looking absolutely sick. “For how long?”
“Two days.” Kirk looked at McCoy. “That seem fair to you, Bones?”
“More than,” McCoy growled. “Almost generous, really.”
Christine felt her face grow hot, and her eyes start to sting. “Don’t blame Janice, it was my fault, I’m so sorry-”
Kirk held up a hand. “Let me finish. You’re both relieved from duty for two days. There will be no mention of this incident on your record. Coincidentally, we’ll be stopping to resupply at Risa this afternoon.”
“We happen to be out of quite a few things,” McCoy said, face spreading into a wide grin. “Figure we’ll be stuck on Risa for, oh, about two days.”
Christine was struck dumb, not quite daring to hope. “But-”
“Since you’re off duty,” Kirk continued. “I have no objection to you spending some time enjoying the sights.”
“Makes sense,” McCoy nodded. “Nothin’ else for ‘em to do.”
Kirk winked at her. “I don’t want to see either of you back on my ship for forty-eight hours.”
Janice jumped up, a bright smile breaking over her face. “Thank you, Captain!”
“Don’t thank me,” Kirk said, wagging a finger at her. “Remember, this is a punishment.”
“Of course, Sir,” Christine rose smoothly, grabbing her friend’s arm and pulling her towards the door.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Kirk called after them.
“You realize that don’t prohibit anything, right Jim?” Christine heard McCoy ask, dryly as she sprinted away.
“You’d know, wouldn’t you?” Kirk answered, almost lewdly.
They burst through the doors to the hallway, then leaned against the wall and collapsed into giggles.
“They are so cute together,” Janice cooed.
Christine closed her eyes, giving herself up to the ridiculousness of the entire situation. “This is a hell of a ship,” she said, grinning so wide it almost hurt.
Janice nodded. “A hell of a ship.”
Author: linelenagain
Wordcount: ~4,000
Rating: PG
Characters: Kirk/McCoy, Chapel, Rand
Summary: Kirk and McCoy sure are cute together, aren't they?
Notes: Comment fic for a team_jones away mission, as a gift for pixelmayhem, in celebration of our BFF-itude.
This fic has been REMIXED by the amazing skyblue_reverie! I encourage everyone to go read her version, because it is awesome.
Yeoman Janice Rand sighed into her coffee.
“Stop looking at them,” hissed Christine Chapel, pointedly staring at the cup of mixed fruit sitting on the table in front of her.
Janice ducked her head, her pale cheeks flushing with color. “I can’t help it,” she said in a low voice. “They’re just so adorable.”
Christine glanced over at the table next to them, being careful to keep her face pointed straight ahead. “I know,” she said, wistfully. “But you’re being obvious.”
“The Captain is used to people looking at him,” Janice shrugged. “He’d be more likely to notice how carefully you’re not looking.”
Christine bit her lip in an attempt to stifle a grin. “Oh, I don’t think he’s too apt to notice me right now. He seems a bit... preoccupied.”
Janice giggled behind her hand. “And who could blame him?” She asked, canting her head slightly in the direction of Captain James T. Kirk and Lieutenant-Commander Leonard McCoy, who were currently in the midst of an epic argument about the nutritional value of Jim’s breakfast.
“It’s oatmeal, Bones! Oatmeal is healthy, you told me so! Are you calling yourself a liar? Because I won’t tolerate insubordination on my ship,” Jim said with a smile, punching Leonard gently in the shoulder.
Leonard elbowed Jim in the side, but looked sideways at him with a fond expression. “There’s more sugar than oats in there. And don’t even think about adding chocolate chips. Yes, before you ask, I do know about that, and you’ll never find out how. Why don’t you add raisins or something if you can’t man up and eat it straight?”
Jim looked scandalized. “Raisins? That’s disgusting. You’re disgusting. Raisins aren’t even food, they are food mummies.”
Christine choked her laugh into a cough. Her dissemblance was unnecessary, however; neither man seemed to notice the sound.
Janice kicked her under the table. “Now who’s being obvious?”
“Well, I can’t help it either!” Christine sighed. “They’re so cute together!”
“Keep your voice down!” Janice whispered. With a quick glance to either side, she lowered her head conspiratorially. “Do you think they’re...you know...together, together?”
Christine licked her lips. “No! In fact, I know they aren’t. I overheard the Captain talking to Dr. McCoy about his one-night stand on Risa the other day.”
“Ooooh,” Janice whistled. “Bet McCoy wasn’t too happy about that.”
“He wasn’t!” Christine smirked. “Insisted on giving the captain his STI boosters immediately. I didn’t even know hyposprays could make bruises like that.” She shuddered. “And he was even grumpier than usual for the rest of the day.”
“They’re so stupid sometimes,” Janice frowned. “They’d be just perfect together. And I know the Captain likes him.”
Christine perked up, leaning across the table. “Oh! Spill it!”
“He forgot his PADD the other day while he was on-shift, and I had to run to his quarters to get it. I took the opportunity to look around.”
“Oh, you didn’t!” Christine covered her mouth with a hand.
Janice smirked. “Of course I did! And you’ll never guess what I found!”
“Tell me, you hag!” Christine reached over to pinch Janice’s arm.
“Hey!” Janice squeaked, cradling the abused limb. “Be nice or my secrets die with me.”
“I can expedite that process,” Christine said, eyes narrowing.
“Fine, fine,” Janice stood, walking around the table to sit on Christine’s right, and leaned over to whisper in her ear. “Kirk keeps a picture of him and McCoy on his nightstand. A ridiculously cute one. It looks like they were on vacation together somewhere - camping or something. And McCoy was smiling.”
Christine clapped her hands, then dropped them to her lap with embarrassing speed. “Really smiling?”
“Hugely smiling. I mean, I’ve seen him smirk and shit, but he was grinning like a six-year-old girl who just got a pony. And he had an arm around Kirk!”
“Oh,” Christine sighed. “I’d pay good money to see that.”
Janice smiled. “Next time I’ll bring you.”
“And it was on his nightstand?” Christine repeated for emphasis.
“Yep. I bet he falls asleep looking at it.” Both women sighed happily.
“You know,” Janice said around a mouthful of grapefruit. “I bet we could get them together.”
Christine’s jaw dropped. “It’s like you read my mind.”
Janice grinned, glancing over at the other table. Kirk and McCoy seemed to be engaged in some kind of staring contest. Suddenly, Kirk flinched.
“Yes!” McCoy shouted, jumping out of his chair to throw his arms up in a victory V.
“You cheated!” Kirk said, mouth agape. “You totally kicked me under the table!”
“Slander and lies!” McCoy pointed at him. “Besides, there’s no rule against kicking. I won, fair and square.”
“Shut up, I hate you.” Kirk stabbed his oatmeal viciously with his spoon.
“Your hatred is irrelevant, though gratifying,” McCoy smirked at him. “I’ll expect you in sickbay by sixteen-hundred for your allergy tests.”
“Oh, come on,” Kirk whined. “Can’t I just temporarily promote you over Spock so you can order him around for a week or so?”
Temptation flashed clearly across McCoy’s stunned features. Kirk smiled. “Come on, Bones, picture it. I bet you could order him to do illogical shit, like wear a ridiculous hat or something. We could take pictures and make one into a holiday card.”
McCoy smiled blissfully at the mental image, then closed his eyes and gave himself a quick shake. “It’s a good offer, Jim, but I honestly don’t want to spend that much time with him. Allergy shots it is.”
“Well, shit,” Jim said with a frown, pointedly scooping more sugar into his bowl.
--
You know the plan?
Christine rolled her eyes at Janice’s message. She typed and sent a quick affirmative just as the Captain strolled into sickbay.
“Right this way, Sir,” she smiled, ushering him over to a bio-bed.
He grinned back affably, hopping up onto the bed. “Where’s Bones?”
I spilled Andorian-flatworm anti-venom on him, which is possibly the vilest smelling substance in the known universe, and he had to go shower. “Oh, he left to go grab a shower. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he had a date planned.”
Kirk narrowed his eyes. “A date? You think so?”
She smiled, sweetly. “It seems likely! He was certainly acting chipper enough, and he even asked me what shirt he should wear tonight.”
“Seriously?” Kirk asked, frowning. “What’d you say?”
“The green button-down,” Christine said innocently, hoping that Janice had been able to put a hold on all McCoy’s other laundry.
“Yeah, that’s a good one,” Kirk nodded. “Compliments his eyes.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Christine fought to hold back a smug grin. “Oh look, he’s back!”
The sickbay doors opened with a hiss and McCoy entered, looking more sour than usual, but wearing the green shirt. He nodded at her, then, spying the Captain, brightened a bit. “Chapel. Jim.”
“Welcome back, Doctor,” she said. “If you don’t need me, I have some reports to finish.”
“Huh? Oh, of course,” McCoy shrugged, not looking away from Kirk. “Now, where did I put that hypo?”
She held back her laughter until the door to her small office closed behind her. Then she doubled, over, gasping into giggles and fumbling for her communicator. Flipping it open, she paged Janice.
“How’d it go?” Her friend’s voice asked, eagerly.
“Beautifully,” Christine said, opening the door a crack and peering through. She couldn’t quite make out what the two men were saying, but they seemed relaxed and happy. “Did you have any trouble?”
“Nope! All of McCoy’s laundry is currently on hold.”
“You should start it up again soon, or he’ll get suspicious.”
“I will. How’s it going down there?”
“Seems promising,” Christine said, straining to hear the voices across the room. “They’re talking. The Captain is smiling. Doctor McCoy is smiling too. Now he’s picking up a hypo. Now- ooooh, that looked like it hurt.”
“What’s Kirk doing!”
Christine bit her lip. “Umm...right now he’s got his hand over his neck and he’s making faces. It doesn’t seem to bother McCoy though. Oh! Kirk’s getting up...he’s... oh dammit, he’s walking out of sickbay. Damn.”
“Go find out what happened and report back!”
“Will do. Chapel out.” She flipped her communicator shut with a click and slipped out of her office. As she approached McCoy, she noticed that he seemed to be lost in thought. He didn’t even notice her when she was standing beside him, and eventually she cleared her throat, softly. “Ahem.”
“What!” McCoy jumped. “Oh, Chapel. Reports didn’t take long?”
“I decided they could wait,” she said. “I just wanted to apologize again for spilling that anti-venom on you.”
McCoy shuddered. “Oh trust me, you’ll be making that up to me next time we do inventory.
Christine cringed, telling herself internally that it was for the greater good. When her boss was happy, she was happy, and nothing seemed to make Leonard McCoy happy like a healthy dose of Jim Kirk. “Of course. How’d things go with the Captain?”
McCoy smiled, but she was pretty sure he didn’t realize it. “Jim’s fine. Just fine.”
I bet he is. “Are you two meeting up later?”
He quirked an eyebrow at her. “No. Why would we?”
“Oh...” She thought frantically. “No reason. I just figured, since you’re friends...” She let the sentence trail off, lamely.
McCoy shrugged. “He said he had plans with Spock tonight. Then he told me not to do anything he wouldn’t do. Strangest thing.”
“He’s an odd one,” Christine said, deflated.
“That he is,” McCoy off-handedly replied.
--
“This plan is going to get us fired,” Janice hissed under her breath.
Christine kicked her in the ankle. “No, it’s brilliant. Besides, we tried it your way and we all saw how well that turned out.”
“That was not the fault of the plan!” Janice protested, hopping up to sit on Christine’s desk. “If anything, the failure was in the execution!”
“Oh, I know you didn’t just say that.” Christine narrowed her eyes.
Janice shrugged. “Look, it doesn’t matter. Once I poison the captain I’m going to be court-martialed and left to rot in jail forever.”
Christine tapped a pen against her lips thoughtfully. “No, Dr. McCoy would probably kill you with his laser-scalpel.”
“Oh, that’s so much better, thanks.” Janice shuddered. “Promise me again this isn’t going to kill Kirk.”
“I swear.” Christine laid a hand over her heart. “I read his medical file cover to cover. If anyone’s going to get fired it’s me for snooping.”
“I covered your tracks,” Janice said, reassuringly.
“Thanks. Anyway, you won’t kill him. He’s allergic to almond extract, but only just. Use three drops, he’ll get a migraine like you wouldn’t believe, but he’ll be okay.”
“He powers through headaches,” Janice reminded her. “He won’t go to sickbay.”
“He won’t have to,” Christine said. “I’m going to mention to McCoy that I happened to see Kirk on my way back from the bridge, and that he seemed fatigued and not himself.”
“Won’t he wonder why you were on the bridge?”
“No,” Christine said, pulling a hypospray out of her pocket and stabbing it quickly into her friend’s neck.
“Oh Christ, what was that for?” Janice said, rubbing her neck and looking murderous.
“You’re due for your contraceptive booster. You’ll thank me next shore leave!”
“You could have warned me!”
Christine shrugged. “Better just to get it over with. No time to dread. Anyway, I’ll just tell him that I went up to the bridge to give you your hypo. You have the mark to prove it now.”
Janice narrowed her eyes. “Fine. But I still hate you.”
“Shut up, it’s almost time.” Christine pressed the vial of almond extract into her friend’s hand. “Three drops in his coffee. Comm me when it starts to take effect.”
--
As she watched McCoy lead the captain into sickbay, one arm around his shoulder and the other on his waist, Christine almost couldn’t stop herself from doing a happy dance. She was almost positive the doctor was whispering something soothing in Kirk’s ear, if the expression of gentle concern on his face was anything to go by. Still, he could just as easily be cussing the man out for making McCoy go up to the bridge to retrieve him - but that was probably still soothing, if you knew the man.
She stood motionless in the doorway as McCoy helped Kirk onto a bed. Neither man seemed to have noticed her, and that was how she preferred it - Janice would be expecting details. McCoy ordered the lights dimmed, then walked over to the supply cabinet.
He shuffled through it for a few minutes before calling out for her softly, clearly mindful of Kirk’s migraine. “Christine! Where the hell’s the Codinide!”
She was at his side in an instant. “We’re out, Doctor,” she said, smoothly.
He looked at her askance. “How can we be out? I ordered extra - it’s the only painkiller the captain isn’t allergic to.”
She schooled her face into the most innocent look she knew. “There must have been a mix-up with the shipment. I’ll take care of it - we can pick up more when we stop at Starbase-6 in a day or two.”
“Well that doesn’t do jack shit for Jim now,” McCoy grumbled.
She smiled, at the last moment subverting a wicked grin into a small upturn of her lips. “You know, when I was in nurse’s training I had a patient who suffered from chronic migraines. He’d built up a tolerance to the standard painkillers. Only thing that helped was laying in a quiet, dark room for a few hours - except...”
McCoy looked at her hopefully. “Except what?”
“Well, his spouse would always sit by him and stroke his hair. He used to swear it was the only thing that made the pain tolerable.”
McCoy froze. “You’re not seriously suggesting I try that?”
She shrugged. “I’m not suggesting anything. I just feel bad for Captain Kirk - he seems to be in agony.” She almost clapped her hands with glee at McCoy’s stricken expression. “I can hold down the fort here if you want to monitor him. I know his medical situation is somewhat volatile.”
“Yeah,” McCoy said, biting his lip. “That’s probably a good idea. Thanks.”
“You are so welcome.” Christine smiled, as sweetly as she knew how.
--
“And then what happened!” Janice leaned in, not breathing.
“Well, I could tell you. Or you could look at these security stills I snagged,” Christine said, holding up her PADD and waving it around, tantalizingly.
“Gimme!” Janice snatched it out of her hands. She looked down at the screen and seemed to almost literally melt. “Awwww...”
Christine smiled, glancing down over Janice’s shoulder at the screen. For a still from the security feed, the image was surprisingly clear: Dr. McCoy, in a chair pulled up to the captain’s bedside, hand laying gently on the top of Kirk’s head. His expression was peaceful, almost contemplative, and for a man suffering from a severe migraine, Kirk looked positively content.
“You are so sending me a copy of that,” Janice said, firmly.
“Already done.” Christine smirked. “I told you it was a brilliant plan.”
“So what happened next?”
The smile fell from Christine’s face, and she signed. “Nothing. The captain got up after a while and left.”
Janice’s mouth fell open. “That’s it?”
Christine ran a hand through her hair. “I know, I know. But we’re getting closer.”
“I could poison him again?” Janice suggested, hopefully.
After a moment of consideration, Christine shook her head. “They’ll start to get suspicious. If McCoy runs tests, we’re screwed.”
Janice sighed, and they sat in silence for a while, pondering. After a moment she spoke. “I could tell McCoy that Kirk likes him.”
Christine bit her lip. “Well, subtlety certainly hasn’t worked. I don’t think he’d believe you, though.”
“Of course he would,” Janice looked affronted. “I’m Kirk’s Yeoman. Who spends more time following him around than me? If anyone would know, I would.”
“Yeah, but McCoy’s canny. He won’t make a move unless he’s a hundred percent sure. You’d need proof, and we haven’t got it.”
Janice slouched against the back of the sofa, pouting. “But there isn’t any.” Then she straightened, a sly smile spreading over her face.
Christine frowned. “What’s that look? That’s a bad look.”
“There isn’t any...but we could make some.” Janice said, her grin rapidly shifting towards the ‘evil’ end of the spectrum.
“Go on,” Christine said, intrigued.
Janice leaned forward. “Okay, here’s what you do...”
--
“Doctor McCoy!” Christine ran over to him as soon as he entered sickbay for the start of his shift. “I have a problem.”
“What is it?” He asked, walking towards his office, PADD in hand.
“Have you checked your messages this morning?” She grabbed his arm, eyes wide and serious, and he stopped in his tracks.
“No,” he said, “Should I?”
“Oh, thank goodness,” she slumped a little in relief. “I accidentally forwarded you a message meant for Yeoman Rand. It concerns some...sensitive...information about the captain. If you could just delete it without reading it, I’d appreciate it very much.”
McCoy frowned. “About Jim? I probably already know it.”
“No!” She gasped, squeezing his arm tighter. “You can’t read it! Please?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Why? What’s he hiding?” He lifted his PADD, hitting a few buttons.
Christine buried her face in her hands. “Oh no,” she wailed.
Peeking through her fingers, she watched her boss’s face grow redder and redder. “Christine, what the hell is this?” He asked, shoving the PADD in her direction.
“You were never supposed to see that!” She snapped. “It was a mistake!”
“A mistake? A mistake? Let me read this aloud for you.” McCoy scowled.
“Yeoman Rand,
In response to your query, no, I find it absolutely implausible that Doctor McCoy could harbor those sorts of feelings for Captain Kirk. He has never exhibited anything but the utmost professionalism in the captain’s presence, or given any indication that he and the captain are more than the best of friends.
I realize this may be difficult for Kirk to hear, but you’re going to have to break the news to him. If you can do it subtly, fine, if not, the sooner the better. It may be painful, but so is unrequited love. He should start moving on as soon as possible.
Respectfully,
Christine Chapel”
McCoy pointed a finger at her. “What the hell is this all about!”
Christine sighed. “Yeoman Rand messaged me regarding the captain’s recent emotional state. Apparently, he’s been in love with you for some time, and Janice is concerned. She wanted to know if she should try and let him down easy.”
McCoy froze, mouth agape, finger still hovering in midair. After a long moment, he gave himself a shake. “How would she know a thing like that?”
“She’s his Yeoman,” Christine said, like the answer was obvious. “I imagine he said something indiscreet when he didn’t realize she could hear him. She’s very unobtrusive.”
“Did she get a copy of this?” McCoy asked, almost too quickly to be understood.
“Of course,” Christine said. “I imagine she’s already started encouraging him to look elsewhere. Don’t worry,” she laid a hand gently on his shoulder. “Soon Captain Kirk will forget all about this.”
“Shit!” McCoy spun, dropping his PADD and barreling through the sickbay doors at full tilt.
Christine stood there, smiling for a long moment. “You are unobtrusive,” she said, to the room at large.
Janice appeared, seemingly out of the shadows near the supply closet. “Yes,” she said, smugly. “I am.”
--
“So!” McCoy drawled, dropping his lunch tray next to Christine’s with a clatter.
“Doctor McCoy!” Christine started, and Janice, sitting across from her, almost choked on a bite of her salad.
“Careful there, Yeoman!” Captain Kirk said, taking the seat next to her and across from McCoy.
“Captain!” Janice gasped, slamming a fist into her chest and coughing. “What can...what can I do for you?”
“Hmm...” Kirk leaned onto the table, supporting his chin in his hand. “What a good question. Bones, care to field that one?”
McCoy smirked, leaning back into his chair and shrugging. “Nah, that’s okay, Jim. You can handle it.”
Christine stood, grabbing her tray. “I’ll just be going-”
“Sit.” Kirk smiled, not at all innocently. Christine sat. “So, ladies. I understand we have a little problem with the messaging system?”
Janice widened her eyes. “I don’t know what you could mean, Captain.”
“I think you’d classify it more as ‘user error,’” McCoy said, matching Jim’s wicked expression.
“You are so right,” Kirk said, tipping back in his chair. “Christine, would you like to comment?”
She felt the blood rush to her cheeks. “No, Captain.”
“Thought not.” Kirk shrugged. He leaned forward, suddenly serious. “You’re both relieved from duty.”
“What?” Janice choked, looking absolutely sick. “For how long?”
“Two days.” Kirk looked at McCoy. “That seem fair to you, Bones?”
“More than,” McCoy growled. “Almost generous, really.”
Christine felt her face grow hot, and her eyes start to sting. “Don’t blame Janice, it was my fault, I’m so sorry-”
Kirk held up a hand. “Let me finish. You’re both relieved from duty for two days. There will be no mention of this incident on your record. Coincidentally, we’ll be stopping to resupply at Risa this afternoon.”
“We happen to be out of quite a few things,” McCoy said, face spreading into a wide grin. “Figure we’ll be stuck on Risa for, oh, about two days.”
Christine was struck dumb, not quite daring to hope. “But-”
“Since you’re off duty,” Kirk continued. “I have no objection to you spending some time enjoying the sights.”
“Makes sense,” McCoy nodded. “Nothin’ else for ‘em to do.”
Kirk winked at her. “I don’t want to see either of you back on my ship for forty-eight hours.”
Janice jumped up, a bright smile breaking over her face. “Thank you, Captain!”
“Don’t thank me,” Kirk said, wagging a finger at her. “Remember, this is a punishment.”
“Of course, Sir,” Christine rose smoothly, grabbing her friend’s arm and pulling her towards the door.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Kirk called after them.
“You realize that don’t prohibit anything, right Jim?” Christine heard McCoy ask, dryly as she sprinted away.
“You’d know, wouldn’t you?” Kirk answered, almost lewdly.
They burst through the doors to the hallway, then leaned against the wall and collapsed into giggles.
“They are so cute together,” Janice cooed.
Christine closed her eyes, giving herself up to the ridiculousness of the entire situation. “This is a hell of a ship,” she said, grinning so wide it almost hurt.
Janice nodded. “A hell of a ship.”