Three Ficlets
We've been having a lot of fun over at team_jones, what with all our mini-battles and awesome discussions, and much joy and comment!Fic has been had by all. I'm trying to keep mine organized here, too.
So here they are, all Kirk/McCoy, in chronological order:
Medically Relevant:
PG. 643 words.
"It didn't seem medically relevant."
"Oh, it didn't seem medically relevant. Is that your professional opinion, Doctor Kirk?"
"Look, how was I to know that the slime from those creatures was hallucinogenic? They seemed friendly enough; they shook hands with me for god's sake."
"It doesn't matter what you know! It matters what I know! And I know that when strange creature-slime gets on the captain of the Enterprise, he undergoes decontamination procedures! Is that clear?"
"Crystal."
--
"It didn't seem medically relevant."
"Are you crazy? You promised me, you promised me, that you'd given me a complete list of your allergies. Remember?"
"But everyone has a mild allergy to cat scratches! That's not me, that's just a human thing!"
"You barely qualify as human! You're some kind of mutant, some failed evolutionary line that was seeing whether it would be an advantage if humans were dumb as rocks and allergic to everything!"
"I'm not a mutant!"
"No? Your face is bright red and swollen like a potato."
"That's from the scratches! How was I to know those cat people would have the same allergens as earth cats?"
"You're right. If only you had some kind of expert on board you could ask about these things. He'd have to be familiar with human physiology, and have a passing knowledge of many different alien species, as well. It would also help if he had some kind of facility where he could run tests on foreign materials. You really should contact Starfleet about this - it seems like a person like that could be extremely useful."
"Also handsome."
"Flattery isn't going to get you out of this battery of hypos. True though."
"Also mean."
"That too."
--
"It just didn't seem-"
"Jim, if you're about to say that it didn't seem medically relevant to tell me that you'd stopped having sex every time we hit a new planet, I will strangle you with your captain-shirt."
"I wasn't- I didn't- wait, that's not medically relevant!"
"Sure it is. You know those shots I give you after each new planet? STI vaccine boosters and antibiotics. You could have saved me a lot of trouble if you'd told me you were keeping it in your pants."
"What? You told me those were allergy boosters!"
"It was easier."
"Well, Doctor Asshole, as it happens, I wasn't going to say that it didn't seem medically relevant."
"No?"
"No! I was going to say that it didn't seem like the right time!"
"The right time for what?"
"To tell you that I stopped sleeping around so much! I was giving it three months, so if you had waited another week you wouldn't have had to have this amazing Sherlock Holmes moment!"
"But why wait at all?"
"Because back at the Academy you told me that you'd never want to be with someone who couldn't commit to you. And I knew you wouldn't believe me if I just told you I could, so I thought..."
"How do you even remember that? That was the drunkest I've ever seen you, and that's saying something."
"It was strategic drunkenness. Reconnoissance, if you will, on how to get into your pants."
"And you didn't think it was relevant to tell me you wanted to get in my pants!"
"I thought you'd- whoa, Doctor Grabby-hands! If I'd known you were- mphhhgh!!"
"Stop saying that! If I have to hear 'if I'd known' one more goddamned time I'm arranging it so that you take all your meals via hypo! You don't know anything! You're dumb as a bag of hair!"
"Vulcan hair? Because that seems like an intelligent sort of hair."
"Monkey hair!"
"Harsh. Can we get back to the part where you kissed me? This other shit doesn't seem relevant."
"You're the worst thing that's ever happened to me."
"Also hot."
"That too."
The Good Patient:
R. 903 words.
"You're not serious." Jim narrowed his eyes at Bones, as if trying to suss out the joke.
"Nope. That's my fantasy. You said anything and that's my pick." Bones smirked. "You backin' out?"
"Computer, initiate Sickbay lockdown protocol Alpha-Alpha-Two-Seven-Five." The doors hissed shut with a definitive click, and Jim raised an eyebrow. "Oh no. It took you this long to admit your fantasy, we're going for it. I was just...surprised."
"Really?" Bones drawled, guiding Jim gently over to a bio-bed with a hand on his lower back. "I wouldn't think it would be all that shocking."
"I guess you're right," Jim said, undoing his fly and letting his pants drop to the ground. "It does sort of explain a lot." He hopped up on the bed.
Bones smiled a little, pulling on his latex gloves. "If you say so. Take off your shirt."
Jim grinned at him as he complied, the gold command shirt and black undershirt joining his pants on the floor. His smile faded as he saw the item now in Bones' hand. "Wait a second."
"Not this time. You promised. You said we'd do anything I wanted. Anything at all. And I told you: I want you to lay there like a good little patient who trusts their doctor. So you just lie back on that bed and trust Dr. McCoy to make it all better, hmm?"
"Yeah, okay, but..." Jim edged away from Bones slightly. "is that even safe?"
Bones leaned in to him. "Of course it's safe. It's saline. Not even you're allergic to saline." There was a hiss and a yelp as Bones slammed the hypospray firmly into Jim's upper arm.
"Ow! Okay, I don't know-" Jim frowned, covering the sore spot with a hand.
"Shhh." Bones hushed him with a kiss, biting down gently on Jim's lower lip. He trailed slow, wet kisses down Jim's neck, smiling a little at his shiver. "See?" he said, pulling Jim's hand away and gently mouthing the hurt area. "All better."
"But I - OW!" Jim gasped as the hypospray hit his thigh.
Bones straightened. "Did that hurt?" He said it mildly, but Jim could recognize a test when he heard one.
"No, Doctor," he said, in his meekest voice. "I know you're taking good care of me."
He was rewarded with a full-fledged Bones grin, and that was enough of a shock to take his mind off any lingering sting. So when Bones reached up to cup his half-hard cock through his boxers, well, that was just icing.
"Very good," Bones said approvingly. He bent down and kissed Jim's thigh where the hypo had stung him, gently licking and sucking at the tender flesh. His fingers gently stroked Jim's cock through the fabric, too lightly to do more than exacerbate his steadily growing problem.
"Doctor-" Jim sighed, but Bones interrupted him.
"This may sting a bit." The hypo hissed again, much higher up on his other thigh. Jim couldn't stifle his gasp.
"I know," Bones crooned in his ear, moving his hand more firmly over Jim's cock. "I know. I'll fix it." He leaned down, hovering his mouth over Jim's now-serious erection.
Jim could feel the heat of Bones' breath through the thin fabric, and gripped the edge of the bio-bed to keep from thrusting his hips forward.
Deftly, Bones slipped Jim's cock through the opening in his boxers, running his tongue along the underside and closing his lips over the head. He sucked gently, lightly grazing Jim with his teeth, and when the hypospray hissed again, Jim didn't even register the sound.
"Hmm..." Bones hummed approvingly, leaning forward and engulfing Jim's cock completely. He moved up and down slowly, flicking back and forth with his tongue and pumping Jim with his fist. The hypo fell, abandoned, to the bed as Bones ran his other hand up Jim's side. He kept this up, slowly at first, then faster and faster until Jim came, gasping.
Bones pulled off him slowly, running his hands over the bare skin of Jim's chest and trailing kisses up his body until he was leaning into Jim's shoulder.
"Such a good little patient," Bones murmured against his neck.
"Whoa," Jim sighed. "We'll have to keep this in mind next time I'm due for my annual inoculations."
"Really?" Bones smirked at him. "I'll remember you said that a year from now."
Jim smiled. "Yeah, you totally - wait. A year from now?"
Bones bit his lip, manfully fighting a grin. "Well, more like a year from five minutes ago."
"Bones!" Jim gaped at him. "That is such an abuse of...of...something! Me!"
"Oh?" Bones leaned into him, pressing his erection into Jim's naked thigh and growling into his ear. "You feelin' all that abused?"
"Yes!" Jim frowned, but he pressed back against Bones' cock. "You lied. You said that was your fantasy but really you just wanted to medicate me. I call foul."
"Jim, for the first time in all the years I've known you, you actually behaved and took your hypos like a grown-up. If you think that's not a fantasy, you're very much mistaken. Besides," Bones rubbed against him. "That sweet little 'yes, doctor' act of yours is awfully charming."
Jim narrowed his eyes. "How charming?"
Bones pressed down on his shoulders until he was laying down on the bed. "Let me show you."
Glasses Porn:
PG-13. 982 words.
“So really, when you consider their refusal to join the Federation from a cultural perspective, it doesn’t seem like quite such a- Bones? Bones, you with me?” Jim looked up from his PADD, shoving his glasses back onto his nose.
Bones stared at him without responding for a few seconds. Then he blinked. “Huh? What, Jim?”
Jim laughed. “Jeez man, you must be exhausted. Go get some rest, okay?”
“Yeah,” Bones sighed, closing his eyes briefly. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”
--
“So what’s with the glasses?” Hikaru asked Jim over lunch the next day.
Jim shrugged. “Oh, I’ve always had ‘em for reading. Lately I’ve been getting headaches though, and I thought it might help if I started wearing them more often. Are they that noticeable?”
Before Hikaru could answer, Jim caught sight of Bones walking into the mess. “Hey! Bones! Over here!” He waved at him.
Bones looked over at Jim, smiled, and promptly walked into a wall.
Once Jim ascertained that Bones was not, in fact, concussed, he laughed. “We’ve got to get you a pair of these,” he said, dropping his glasses onto Bones’ nose.
Bones blushed red, and Jim tousled his hair. “Oh come on,” Jim smiled at him. “They’re not that bad, are they?”
“Not at all,” Hikaru said. Bones ignored his knowing smile.
--
“I’ve figured it out!” Jim said triumphantly as he charged into Bones’ office.
“What? You have?” Bones asked him, eyes wide.
“Yep. Once I thought about it for a bit, it was obvious. The way you’re always distracted, staring off into space, walking into stuff. I mean, how could I miss it? Though you could have just told me.”
For once, Bones was grateful Jim did not have his glasses on. If he could think clearly, he might be able to talk his way out of this. “Let me explain.”
“No need!” Jim smiled. “You’re clearly overworked.”
“I’m...clearly...what?” Bones furrowed his brow in confusion.
“See! You can barely form sentences! You’re as scatterbrained as a love-struck teenager.”
Bones winced at the accuracy of the description. “Overworked. Yes. I have been working very hard.”
Jim grinned at him. “I know! And because I love you the most, I scheduled us for shore leave! We changed course for Risa twenty minutes ago!”
Though he knew Jim didn’t mean it that way, Bones couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “Yeah?”
“Yep!” Jim nodded. “And furthermore, I am giving you my official Captain Kirk promise - I will get you laid.”
That wiped the smile off his face. “I don’t think so, Jim.”
“It’s too late. The promise is out there. It’s a force of its own, now.” Jim pulled his glasses out of a pocket and slipped them on. “Now, let me help you finish up your reports before we dock. I don’t want you to miss a second of shore leave!”
Bones nodded, covertly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He’d dodged a bullet this time, but Jim might get suspicious if he noticed the drool.
--
“Booooooooones,” Jim whined. “It’s shore leave. Why are we in your quarters? Why are we doing paperwork? You’re supposed to be resting!”
“I already told you,” Bones said, blandly. “My idea of rest is not bouncing around in some dance club until one of us throws up.”
Jim narrowed his eyes. “Well, my idea of rest is not doing optional reports. This is ridiculous! What is going on with you?” He tugged his glasses off and gestured at Bones with them.
Bones shuddered, but Jim went on, “You’ve been acting strange for days. You’re distracted. You’re uncommunicative. Even you don’t like paperwork this much!”
He shoved his glasses back on and narrowed his eyes. “I’m going to figure you out,” he warned, sternly.
Bones was done. The glasses, he could handle, barely. The glasses combined with the ‘I am the confident and capable Captain Kirk’ attitude were harder, but he was managing, dammit. But the glasses, the attitude, and the stern, no-nonsense captain voice were too much.
But hell. If he was going down, he was going down in a blaze of glory.
“Here,” Bones said, picking up a PADD at random and tossing it to Jim. “Read this out loud.”
Jim looked puzzled, but picked the PADD up and adjusted his glasses. “Umm...sure. The Germanic influences of the Anglo-Saxons would soon permeate all of Romano-Britain, forming the basis of the English language which would become today’s Standard. In the light of their own socio-political and cultural influences...” He stopped. “Do you seriously find this interesting?”
Bones gazed at him, rapt. “Uh-huh.”
Jim stared at Bones. Looked down at the PADD in his hands. Looked back at Bones. Smiled, slowly. “Bullshit.”
Bones turned red. “Dunno what you’re talking about.”
Jim grinned wider. “Oh no, Bones, you are busted.” His eyes dropped to Bones’ lap. “Unless you find the socio-political and cultural influences of the early Europeans hard-on inducing, which I seriously hope you do not.”
Bones licked his lips. “Only under...certain circumstances.”
“Really?” Jim scooted towards him. “You know, I’m recalling a certain promise I made you earlier. An official Captain Kirk promise.”
“They really do have a force of their own,” Bones said, grabbing Jim by the wrist and tugging him closer. “C’mere.”
“You’re the boss. Should I start saying smart-sounding things? Contumacious. Panegyric. Inveterate.”
“Stop!” Bones moaned into his neck.
Jim laughed and tugged his shirt over his head, sending his glasses tumbling into his lap. Bones snatched them up, and placed them carefully back on Jim’s face.
“Leave these on.”
So here they are, all Kirk/McCoy, in chronological order:
Medically Relevant:
PG. 643 words.
"It didn't seem medically relevant."
"Oh, it didn't seem medically relevant. Is that your professional opinion, Doctor Kirk?"
"Look, how was I to know that the slime from those creatures was hallucinogenic? They seemed friendly enough; they shook hands with me for god's sake."
"It doesn't matter what you know! It matters what I know! And I know that when strange creature-slime gets on the captain of the Enterprise, he undergoes decontamination procedures! Is that clear?"
"Crystal."
--
"It didn't seem medically relevant."
"Are you crazy? You promised me, you promised me, that you'd given me a complete list of your allergies. Remember?"
"But everyone has a mild allergy to cat scratches! That's not me, that's just a human thing!"
"You barely qualify as human! You're some kind of mutant, some failed evolutionary line that was seeing whether it would be an advantage if humans were dumb as rocks and allergic to everything!"
"I'm not a mutant!"
"No? Your face is bright red and swollen like a potato."
"That's from the scratches! How was I to know those cat people would have the same allergens as earth cats?"
"You're right. If only you had some kind of expert on board you could ask about these things. He'd have to be familiar with human physiology, and have a passing knowledge of many different alien species, as well. It would also help if he had some kind of facility where he could run tests on foreign materials. You really should contact Starfleet about this - it seems like a person like that could be extremely useful."
"Also handsome."
"Flattery isn't going to get you out of this battery of hypos. True though."
"Also mean."
"That too."
--
"It just didn't seem-"
"Jim, if you're about to say that it didn't seem medically relevant to tell me that you'd stopped having sex every time we hit a new planet, I will strangle you with your captain-shirt."
"I wasn't- I didn't- wait, that's not medically relevant!"
"Sure it is. You know those shots I give you after each new planet? STI vaccine boosters and antibiotics. You could have saved me a lot of trouble if you'd told me you were keeping it in your pants."
"What? You told me those were allergy boosters!"
"It was easier."
"Well, Doctor Asshole, as it happens, I wasn't going to say that it didn't seem medically relevant."
"No?"
"No! I was going to say that it didn't seem like the right time!"
"The right time for what?"
"To tell you that I stopped sleeping around so much! I was giving it three months, so if you had waited another week you wouldn't have had to have this amazing Sherlock Holmes moment!"
"But why wait at all?"
"Because back at the Academy you told me that you'd never want to be with someone who couldn't commit to you. And I knew you wouldn't believe me if I just told you I could, so I thought..."
"How do you even remember that? That was the drunkest I've ever seen you, and that's saying something."
"It was strategic drunkenness. Reconnoissance, if you will, on how to get into your pants."
"And you didn't think it was relevant to tell me you wanted to get in my pants!"
"I thought you'd- whoa, Doctor Grabby-hands! If I'd known you were- mphhhgh!!"
"Stop saying that! If I have to hear 'if I'd known' one more goddamned time I'm arranging it so that you take all your meals via hypo! You don't know anything! You're dumb as a bag of hair!"
"Vulcan hair? Because that seems like an intelligent sort of hair."
"Monkey hair!"
"Harsh. Can we get back to the part where you kissed me? This other shit doesn't seem relevant."
"You're the worst thing that's ever happened to me."
"Also hot."
"That too."
The Good Patient:
R. 903 words.
"You're not serious." Jim narrowed his eyes at Bones, as if trying to suss out the joke.
"Nope. That's my fantasy. You said anything and that's my pick." Bones smirked. "You backin' out?"
"Computer, initiate Sickbay lockdown protocol Alpha-Alpha-Two-Seven-Five." The doors hissed shut with a definitive click, and Jim raised an eyebrow. "Oh no. It took you this long to admit your fantasy, we're going for it. I was just...surprised."
"Really?" Bones drawled, guiding Jim gently over to a bio-bed with a hand on his lower back. "I wouldn't think it would be all that shocking."
"I guess you're right," Jim said, undoing his fly and letting his pants drop to the ground. "It does sort of explain a lot." He hopped up on the bed.
Bones smiled a little, pulling on his latex gloves. "If you say so. Take off your shirt."
Jim grinned at him as he complied, the gold command shirt and black undershirt joining his pants on the floor. His smile faded as he saw the item now in Bones' hand. "Wait a second."
"Not this time. You promised. You said we'd do anything I wanted. Anything at all. And I told you: I want you to lay there like a good little patient who trusts their doctor. So you just lie back on that bed and trust Dr. McCoy to make it all better, hmm?"
"Yeah, okay, but..." Jim edged away from Bones slightly. "is that even safe?"
Bones leaned in to him. "Of course it's safe. It's saline. Not even you're allergic to saline." There was a hiss and a yelp as Bones slammed the hypospray firmly into Jim's upper arm.
"Ow! Okay, I don't know-" Jim frowned, covering the sore spot with a hand.
"Shhh." Bones hushed him with a kiss, biting down gently on Jim's lower lip. He trailed slow, wet kisses down Jim's neck, smiling a little at his shiver. "See?" he said, pulling Jim's hand away and gently mouthing the hurt area. "All better."
"But I - OW!" Jim gasped as the hypospray hit his thigh.
Bones straightened. "Did that hurt?" He said it mildly, but Jim could recognize a test when he heard one.
"No, Doctor," he said, in his meekest voice. "I know you're taking good care of me."
He was rewarded with a full-fledged Bones grin, and that was enough of a shock to take his mind off any lingering sting. So when Bones reached up to cup his half-hard cock through his boxers, well, that was just icing.
"Very good," Bones said approvingly. He bent down and kissed Jim's thigh where the hypo had stung him, gently licking and sucking at the tender flesh. His fingers gently stroked Jim's cock through the fabric, too lightly to do more than exacerbate his steadily growing problem.
"Doctor-" Jim sighed, but Bones interrupted him.
"This may sting a bit." The hypo hissed again, much higher up on his other thigh. Jim couldn't stifle his gasp.
"I know," Bones crooned in his ear, moving his hand more firmly over Jim's cock. "I know. I'll fix it." He leaned down, hovering his mouth over Jim's now-serious erection.
Jim could feel the heat of Bones' breath through the thin fabric, and gripped the edge of the bio-bed to keep from thrusting his hips forward.
Deftly, Bones slipped Jim's cock through the opening in his boxers, running his tongue along the underside and closing his lips over the head. He sucked gently, lightly grazing Jim with his teeth, and when the hypospray hissed again, Jim didn't even register the sound.
"Hmm..." Bones hummed approvingly, leaning forward and engulfing Jim's cock completely. He moved up and down slowly, flicking back and forth with his tongue and pumping Jim with his fist. The hypo fell, abandoned, to the bed as Bones ran his other hand up Jim's side. He kept this up, slowly at first, then faster and faster until Jim came, gasping.
Bones pulled off him slowly, running his hands over the bare skin of Jim's chest and trailing kisses up his body until he was leaning into Jim's shoulder.
"Such a good little patient," Bones murmured against his neck.
"Whoa," Jim sighed. "We'll have to keep this in mind next time I'm due for my annual inoculations."
"Really?" Bones smirked at him. "I'll remember you said that a year from now."
Jim smiled. "Yeah, you totally - wait. A year from now?"
Bones bit his lip, manfully fighting a grin. "Well, more like a year from five minutes ago."
"Bones!" Jim gaped at him. "That is such an abuse of...of...something! Me!"
"Oh?" Bones leaned into him, pressing his erection into Jim's naked thigh and growling into his ear. "You feelin' all that abused?"
"Yes!" Jim frowned, but he pressed back against Bones' cock. "You lied. You said that was your fantasy but really you just wanted to medicate me. I call foul."
"Jim, for the first time in all the years I've known you, you actually behaved and took your hypos like a grown-up. If you think that's not a fantasy, you're very much mistaken. Besides," Bones rubbed against him. "That sweet little 'yes, doctor' act of yours is awfully charming."
Jim narrowed his eyes. "How charming?"
Bones pressed down on his shoulders until he was laying down on the bed. "Let me show you."
Glasses Porn:
PG-13. 982 words.
“So really, when you consider their refusal to join the Federation from a cultural perspective, it doesn’t seem like quite such a- Bones? Bones, you with me?” Jim looked up from his PADD, shoving his glasses back onto his nose.
Bones stared at him without responding for a few seconds. Then he blinked. “Huh? What, Jim?”
Jim laughed. “Jeez man, you must be exhausted. Go get some rest, okay?”
“Yeah,” Bones sighed, closing his eyes briefly. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”
--
“So what’s with the glasses?” Hikaru asked Jim over lunch the next day.
Jim shrugged. “Oh, I’ve always had ‘em for reading. Lately I’ve been getting headaches though, and I thought it might help if I started wearing them more often. Are they that noticeable?”
Before Hikaru could answer, Jim caught sight of Bones walking into the mess. “Hey! Bones! Over here!” He waved at him.
Bones looked over at Jim, smiled, and promptly walked into a wall.
Once Jim ascertained that Bones was not, in fact, concussed, he laughed. “We’ve got to get you a pair of these,” he said, dropping his glasses onto Bones’ nose.
Bones blushed red, and Jim tousled his hair. “Oh come on,” Jim smiled at him. “They’re not that bad, are they?”
“Not at all,” Hikaru said. Bones ignored his knowing smile.
--
“I’ve figured it out!” Jim said triumphantly as he charged into Bones’ office.
“What? You have?” Bones asked him, eyes wide.
“Yep. Once I thought about it for a bit, it was obvious. The way you’re always distracted, staring off into space, walking into stuff. I mean, how could I miss it? Though you could have just told me.”
For once, Bones was grateful Jim did not have his glasses on. If he could think clearly, he might be able to talk his way out of this. “Let me explain.”
“No need!” Jim smiled. “You’re clearly overworked.”
“I’m...clearly...what?” Bones furrowed his brow in confusion.
“See! You can barely form sentences! You’re as scatterbrained as a love-struck teenager.”
Bones winced at the accuracy of the description. “Overworked. Yes. I have been working very hard.”
Jim grinned at him. “I know! And because I love you the most, I scheduled us for shore leave! We changed course for Risa twenty minutes ago!”
Though he knew Jim didn’t mean it that way, Bones couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “Yeah?”
“Yep!” Jim nodded. “And furthermore, I am giving you my official Captain Kirk promise - I will get you laid.”
That wiped the smile off his face. “I don’t think so, Jim.”
“It’s too late. The promise is out there. It’s a force of its own, now.” Jim pulled his glasses out of a pocket and slipped them on. “Now, let me help you finish up your reports before we dock. I don’t want you to miss a second of shore leave!”
Bones nodded, covertly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He’d dodged a bullet this time, but Jim might get suspicious if he noticed the drool.
--
“Booooooooones,” Jim whined. “It’s shore leave. Why are we in your quarters? Why are we doing paperwork? You’re supposed to be resting!”
“I already told you,” Bones said, blandly. “My idea of rest is not bouncing around in some dance club until one of us throws up.”
Jim narrowed his eyes. “Well, my idea of rest is not doing optional reports. This is ridiculous! What is going on with you?” He tugged his glasses off and gestured at Bones with them.
Bones shuddered, but Jim went on, “You’ve been acting strange for days. You’re distracted. You’re uncommunicative. Even you don’t like paperwork this much!”
He shoved his glasses back on and narrowed his eyes. “I’m going to figure you out,” he warned, sternly.
Bones was done. The glasses, he could handle, barely. The glasses combined with the ‘I am the confident and capable Captain Kirk’ attitude were harder, but he was managing, dammit. But the glasses, the attitude, and the stern, no-nonsense captain voice were too much.
But hell. If he was going down, he was going down in a blaze of glory.
“Here,” Bones said, picking up a PADD at random and tossing it to Jim. “Read this out loud.”
Jim looked puzzled, but picked the PADD up and adjusted his glasses. “Umm...sure. The Germanic influences of the Anglo-Saxons would soon permeate all of Romano-Britain, forming the basis of the English language which would become today’s Standard. In the light of their own socio-political and cultural influences...” He stopped. “Do you seriously find this interesting?”
Bones gazed at him, rapt. “Uh-huh.”
Jim stared at Bones. Looked down at the PADD in his hands. Looked back at Bones. Smiled, slowly. “Bullshit.”
Bones turned red. “Dunno what you’re talking about.”
Jim grinned wider. “Oh no, Bones, you are busted.” His eyes dropped to Bones’ lap. “Unless you find the socio-political and cultural influences of the early Europeans hard-on inducing, which I seriously hope you do not.”
Bones licked his lips. “Only under...certain circumstances.”
“Really?” Jim scooted towards him. “You know, I’m recalling a certain promise I made you earlier. An official Captain Kirk promise.”
“They really do have a force of their own,” Bones said, grabbing Jim by the wrist and tugging him closer. “C’mere.”
“You’re the boss. Should I start saying smart-sounding things? Contumacious. Panegyric. Inveterate.”
“Stop!” Bones moaned into his neck.
Jim laughed and tugged his shirt over his head, sending his glasses tumbling into his lap. Bones snatched them up, and placed them carefully back on Jim’s face.
“Leave these on.”