Living in a pickle

[lindyb]

I have just finished a semester of college and submitted a load of work. Now I have got to sort out various admin things. But the state of the house is beyond ridiculous. My promises to myself to reform, get a grip, sort out the muddle, always get broken. It is mostly me, I just can't cope with it all, and my OS leaves his revision for AS levels

Comments

[susanelizabeth]

I am exactly with you on this

[lindyb]

Don't do it for Lucy, she will already have lots of memories of you being organised and busy. (And she will not be reflecting much on home when she is at college, except as a convenient base.) Do not punish yourself. It will not help!

My memories of your home are of you being very decisive and organised and making a beautiful home, so I am sure this is a phase. You will grow out of it!

If I go away and/or get a good rest, I have a lot of energy for it (I try to avoid exhausting cleaning, my job is tidying up). But in a short time I get into a miserable low energy state again.

I've had a look at Fly Lady, it looks approachable. And with a psychological warfare aspect to it. The trouble is I am tackling art blockages and I could get confused, or even overwhelmed, by too many self-help programmes!

[soloflights]

You know, life is too short to worry about housework. I am seriously considering getting someone in to do mine, and then its nolonger my fault! And why on earth is it my fault when there are 5 "adults" living in the house, anyway?

Decluttering is hard. But choose a small project so you feel good about it after a very short time. I cleared out the cupboard under the stairs over Christmas. Just a small area, and wonder why all old shoes go there to die, instead of being thrown away. But the good part was finding all the missing baby photos, and starting to put them in albums.

[susanelizabeth]

This is the voice of reason!
I did manage to clear out my linen cuboard last week, it's gorgeous now, I have to keep opening the door to admire my neatly stacked towels and sheets!
I just wish I could apply myself to an entire room though.

[lindyb]

I think getting someone in is fine if you can afford it. I am between cleaners, which may be why things have got worse. But its kind of hard to ask someone to clean when we have lost touch with the floor ..... the AS levels and my assessment did not help.

I genuinely do not want to beat myself up or blame the blameless, but we are losing stuff because there is no system. And I have got to get over this squirreling. I just hate looking back, even to the extent of clearing out the filing cabinet.

What does work for me is giving myself 15 mins to go at something, and its surprising how that mounts up if you do it daily.

The linen cupboard .... I brought back some extra pillows and towels and sheets when my mum sold her house, and they haven't quite settled in.

[gaycrow]

I have just finished a semester of college and submitted a load of work.

Congratulations on achieving that!

I'm lacking the self will too. It seems we're not alone.

I always think about this at night when I'm trying to fall asleep. I worry about not having done all the things I'd set out to do that day. I make all these promises to go through my cupboards, and catch up on my filing, first thing in the morning.

And it's the same thing the next night ... and the next ... *sigh*

It's worse now that I'm scheduled for my knee operation. I worry that if I don't come home, my laziness will really be discovered. ;P

[susanelizabeth]

Night is absolutely the worst time. So many plans for the following day, while worrying about all that wasn't done the previous day!

Gaye, what happening to your knee? I seem to recall you had an arthroscopy not too long ago. Are you having a knee replacement? If so, don't worry! They take between forty minutes to an hour to do and you will be up and walking the day after. Not that I'd relish having my own knee done mind! But it's more than likely that your 'laziness' will remain undiscovered!

I worry every time I get in the car, Lucy won't know that I have accidental death insurance etc.

It really must be easier to just clean up and get organised than all this worry. :)

[gaycrow]

I had surgery on my knee in 2008, where the surgeon cleaned up the cartilege. My arthritis is so bad now, though, that I'm having to have a replacement. Pretty scary thought, but I know two friends who've had knee replacements, and Peter had a partial one a few years ago, so I sort of know what to expect.

There's a lot of stuff to do before surgery - I'm trying not to think about it, but there are constant reminders! My operation has been deferred twice now, and I don't have a firm date yet; I'm hoping it will be sometime in March.

And yes, if we could just get down to doing our cleaning-up there would be so much less to worry about! :D

[lindyb]

Thank you. It was hard work. I deserved a bit of a rest.

I've got better about the 'last thing at night' thoughts since taking the advice of Professor Seligman (I think), and, as part of the going to bed thing, thinking up and writing down three things that have gone really well during the day. It really works.

I hope the knee op works well. You'll be back to face the house again, sure as eggs are eggs....

[rickfan37]

I don't have any motivation either. Time just flies, my weekday mornings are always disjointed due to running El to and from college. I work in the afternoons, and at weekends I feel like why should I run around doing work when everyone else in the house is chilling? So things don't get done... well, I tidy up and do laundry and dishes etc, but deep cleaning and decluttering are so rare as to be almost non existent.
Then when I see my friends' houses, several of whom are SO DAMN TIDY, it just makes me feel worse (but not bad enough to actually change!)

You're not alone.

[lindyb]

I'm so glad to have lots of company on this one. It is amazing how one event in the morning can disrupt ones activities. ((((Lots of brackets, RF, but couldn't El get herself to college?)))) (One of my college friends ran her kids in and stayed to do courses. She has knocked off Beauty and Hairdressing, Art, and Business Studies, but she swears she will pick up the art again next year. I still remember her pineapple!!)

I would do it if I had some important goal, like moving to somewhere more roomy. But I am trying to pull myself up by bootstraps and create motivation, which is harder.

Would it make any sense if we got together (in a special space, like here but dedicated) and supported each other in house-flying? Or here anyway?

[rickfan37]

Unfortunately El's college is 4 miles away, by the school. On days where she starts at 9 there's no problem, but if she starts later or finishes earlier than the college bus/school run, she's stranded without me. It's not so bad really.