To get myself back
I'm lying on a couch with a portable keyboard staring at a screen in 30 point font about six feet in front of me. I came up with this brilliant idea after trying to write sitting at the desk and failing miserably to get into it. Not the desk, the writing. My parents have gone to a Shalom retreat, and I'm going through a whole lot of emotion around
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You'd be surprised how often you have that revelation. :)
It's brave of you to keep writing as you do, despite your self-confessed terror of doing so. Your words are eloquent and beautiful as always, in spite of taking me to a dark place.
Regressing a little was a good way out of depression a few times for me in the past. There's a certain honesty about those persuits you enjoyed as a child. I think they satisfy your core, rather than the layers society has you wrap around it over the years.
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