Seasons' Greetings 2011 ♥ A Gift for museme87 [3/5]
Title: Love In a Hopeless Place
Author: starry_laa
Recipient:muse87
Rating: R
Wordcount: 25,380
Warnings: Dark themes, some sexual content.
Prompt: [Magical AU where Voldemort won the First War, preferably James and Lily don't know one another] Given her Muggle-born status, Lily is forced to work as an (escort/call girl/prostitute) in order to support herself in the wizarding world. The night she (meets/is hired by) pure-blood heir James Potter changes her life.
Summary: Having been hiding out in the middle of nowhere to escape Voldemort’s tyranny, Lily is captured by patrollers and subsequently offered as a prize to Voldemort’s followers. James claims her as his own, in the process altering the course of his life - and hers too.
( Previous Parts - Part One, Part Two )
Part Three
She sat on the edge of her bed, hands clasped together, trying to find solace in the darkness. There was a tap on her door, before it opened and someone stepped through. She knew who it was before she even looked up.
James cast one look around the bedroom before enchanting the lamp on the bedside table to light up. The sudden brightness of light temporarily blinded Lily and she looked up at him in annoyance.
“You’ve not come out of your room for a week,” James mused, by way of announcing himself.
“I’ve had no reason to,” she replied sharply. She eyed him cagily as he began to head toward her, wondering if he was choosing now to cash in her promise of giving herself to him, in exchange for finding out about Remus. If that was his intention, Lily wouldn’t be able to bear it; she wasn’t even fit for company right now.
But James didn’t seek to touch her. Instead, he went to sit on the same side of the bed as her.
“A body was sent to the Ministry today. It has yet to be formally identified, but I have reason to believe it is that of your friend.”
The girl said nothing, but he didn’t miss the way her lip trembled at this news and how she desperately tried to rein in her emotions.
Lily stared at James. His expression was impassive as always and she tried to search for a sign in his face that at least hinted at compassion. Inwardly angry at how unaffected he seemed by all this, when she herself was struggling to keep herself together, it made her want to see some sort of reaction from him - a glimpse of sympathy or even remorse at what his people did to the likes of her. Anything, so long as it wasn’t indifference.
“Remus was my best friend and had been for a long time,” she informed him, her eyes never leaving his face. “Remus’ father was a wizard and his mother was Muggle; if his father had been of high breeding, maybe he would have been accepted into your world when things began to change. But his father wasn’t and Remus, along with me, was shunned by many wizards at school when tensions started rising. At least, that’s what I tell myself - a change of status and Remus’ life could have been very different. But the truth is, even if Remus had been a pure-blood, he would have been seen as the scum of society.” Lily knew her eyes were gleaming and tried desperately to stave off the onslaught of tears. “When Remus was a child, he was subjected to the most vicious of attacks. His body was ripped apart and he was sent to St. Mungo’s. The medi-witches weren’t even sure that he’d live. But Remus survived and ultimately pulled through, yet his life came at a price: the monster that attacked Remus was a werewolf.”Lily noted with disgust that James visibly flinched at this revelation. Even though Voldemort had recruited werewolves to help him gain power, they were still seen as lowbred. “And that’s when Remus became a werewolf. No one deserves to become a werewolf, but to me, Remus was the most undeserving. It wasn’t in his nature to be vicious or angry, and every time that he transformed, he really fought to stay in control and not lose sight of his humanity. But every time, he inevitably failed.
“Remus wasn’t sure if he’d be able to go to Hogwarts because of his condition, but Dumbledore, knowing that Remus was more boy than werewolf, permitted him to go and he even had the Whomping Willow planted the year we started, to allow way for a safe passage for him to transform. His condition made him guarded and incredibly introverted and he was afraid of making friends in case they found out what he really was. He sat at the back of the classroom and spent all his free time hiding in the library, hoping to pass his time unnoticed by anyone else.
“When I started Hogwarts, I had one friend. He was a wizard and upon finding out I was magic, encouraged me to accept my place at Hogwarts. I was uncertain; I had no idea about the wizarding world and did not want to abandon my sister. But the promise of another world enthralled me and I eventually accepted. I loved Hogwarts the moment I started, but the fairytale ended a few months later. As you might know, there was talk of a dark wizard who wanted to take over the country and wanted to get rid of those who weren’t pure-blood, or at least those who weren’t pure-blood and didn’t support him. At first, it was easy to pretend he didn’t exist, but the threat of him loomed and Hogwarts became a hard place to be in. I remember tensions were fraught between pure-bloods and those who weren’t, fights broke out and the teachers had trouble reining everyone in. That wizard friend I had couldn’t cope with his friends teasing him about our friendship and he distanced himself from me, even though he was half Muggle - something I found hard to deal with.
“I remember that during second year, many parents chose not to send Muggle-borns back to Hogwarts as there were rumours of a pending war between the Dark Lord and those who opposed him. Many people - those of Muggle birth and even those who weren’t - were smart enough to move country, but I foolishly did not tell my parents of the problem. In my naivety, I believed the threat would dissipate, and because I couldn’t bear not being at Hogwarts, I returned for my second year. What I should have done was warned my family and given them - and myself - the best possible head start. Second year was awful. I was one of only a few Muggle-borns there. By that point, we started to feel out of place and we felt like we weren’t meant to be there. We were also vilified by some pupils who held a snobbish view about their blood-status. It wasn’t many pupils, but it was enough for me to lose my confidence and I began to stay in the library during my spare time.
“Not long afterwards, I noticed that Remus was a regular dweller too, and I approached him. He wasn’t keen on the idea of company but I think I wore him down after a while.” Lily permitted herself the smallest of smiles as she reflected on this memory. “Our friendship began and we were inseparable. Remus tried his best to hide his secret from me, but it wasn’t long before I grew suspicious and confronted him. Maybe it’s because I’m Muggle-born, but his being a werewolf didn’t faze me; after all, it wasn’t his fault that he was the way he was. There wasn’t much I could do to help him during his transformations, but I supported him as best as I could.
“Having him as a friend made everything better and I felt as though the two of us could weather the pending storm. If only I’d known how big that storm would be. At the end of second-year, the Dark Lord, having caused the Ministry to fall, came to attack Hogwarts - maybe you were even there when it happened. To me, it still seems surreal that he saw Dumbledore as the only great enemy standing in his way of power, and he was determined to topple him. And he did. No one was prepared for the attack and with the time given, Dumbledore tried his best to protect Hogwarts’ pupils and teachers. But we had nowhere to go. The Dark Lord then engaged in battle with Dumbledore in the Great Hall...” at this point, Lily’s voice began to crack as she recalled the incident. “He clearly had some powers that Dumbledore did not possess, for he was able to overcome him... and kill him.” She swallowed and the tears she had done so well and hiding, began to fall freely. “Everyone just stood around in shock, not knowing what to do. Remus and I were frozen in our place, unaware that Death Eaters would come swarming in to take anyone that wasn’t pure-blood or who was against the Dark Lord. By the grace of God, we managed to escape.” Lily closed her eyes as the scene played in her head. She remembered the bewilderment that had glued her and Remus in their place. She recalled the shock of her teachers. She remembered the sight of many Death Eaters rushing in to take over where the Dark Lord had left off. She remembered feeling panicked, incredibly scared and uncertain what to do. And then out of nowhere, someone grabbed their hands and led them away. It was a boy who seemed to understand fully the seriousness of the situation. He had known instantly what the Death Eaters were after and having recognised the two of them as not being pure-blood, he had led them to a secret passageway that would take them out of Hogwarts and instructed them to go down it. Confused and frightened, they agreed and began running down it. For one moment, Lily had been able to turn around to look at the boy. He was someone she recognised from her House but didn’t know well. He had messy, black hair and his glasses had been cast askew, but she’d never forgotten his face or the intense, worried look in his eyes as he watched them leave. And she’d always, always be grateful for what he did that day. Undoubtedly, he had saved hers and Remus’ lives.
She didn’t tell James about the boy, because he was her secret and the one memory she would not permit the Dark Lord to have.
When she stopped to study James, she was surprised to find a maelstrom of emotions evident in his eyes. He’s not so indifferent after all, she thought. He seemed to be miles away and maybe he was thinking of that day too - he must have been at Hogwarts then as well.
Lily carried on. “After we escaped, we found ourselves in Hogsmeade. Someone who had heard about the atrocities took us in and we stayed with them for a few days, before they passed us onto a safe house. As you probably know, Professor McGonagall had escaped Hogwarts and established a safe house for people like Remus and me. We spent a few years there, hidden from the Dark Lord’s watchful eye. We even made friends with some of the others hiding there. McGonagall couldn’t teach us magic because we would have been traced and we had to get rid of our wands. Instead, we had to make do with textbooks and demonstrations by her. There weren’t many of us in the safe house - probably about thirty, but there were other adults who looked after us too - they were the ones who told me about my family’s fate. They were part of the Resistance and were training us up to eventually join them. But then of course, that never happened, did it? The Dark Lord found out about the safe house and he captured many of us, including McGonagall. Remus and I were lucky again; we were able to escape, but just barely. We spent the next year on the run, hiding in the countryside and trying to keep out of trouble. We were doing fine until Remus got struck down by an illness and of course, you know the rest.” She fixed him with a trembling smile. “So you see, Remus and I have been through so much together. The idea of never getting to share anything with him ever again torments me.”
James looked at her and swallowed. “He sounds like he was a good friend.” And there was something in his voice that hinted that he had no idea what that was like.
“The best.”
“I am sorry about your friend,” he told her, and his voice was gruff and uncertain in its conviction. Lily looked on at him, glad for the apology.
“You and I must have been in the same year at school,” James said, changing the topic. “But I don’t remember you.”
“Then my hiding act worked well,” she mused. “You look sort of familiar, but it’s hard to tell from where.” For all she knew, James could have been in the same House as her but people grew up and changed and memories of faces blurred after a while; faces of people alive were confused with people who were dead and she couldn’t even distinguish names - all the names she remembered now seemed to be from an ever extending cenotaph.
Silence fell and the discomfort between them grew. James cast a look at Lily, who seemed to have fallen back into glumness. He didn’t know why he had come to see her. Potts was more than capable of checking up on the girl and James was hardly the comforting type. But he’d come home from work, eaten dinner by himself and then, whilst on the way to his chambers, found himself in Lily’s room instead. It was a long forgotten feeling that had urged him through the door and later, when James had thought about it, he would remember that feeling was concern.
“You know that I will never give up on one day finding Remus alive, don’t you?” Lily suddenly announced.
“You know that’s unlikely to happen, don’t you?”
“It doesn’t matter; it’s the only thing I cling to right now.”
James didn’t say anything, rather sensing that this was the time to leave.
He stood up.
“You said that you weren’t going to hurt me,” the girl said. “But are you going to eventually kill me or keep me here forever?”
“It depends,” he said through gritted teeth. “Are you going to keep asking all these questions?”
She glared at him.
“I know what you’re going to ask, but the answer is no, I won’t set you free. Even if I wanted to - and I can’t particularly say I do -, people know what you look like and would be onto you the moment you were freed. And setting you free wouldn’t exactly endear me to the Dark Lord.”
Lily let out a sigh. “Then will you ever tell me the reason why you have me here?”
But James just looked at her, his face now a carefully concealed mask, before walking out the door, and Lily briefly wondered if he even knew himself why he had her in this place.
+++
For the next few days, James left Lily alone and in that time, she tried to set her grief aside and focus on a plan. Even though James had told her that Remus was more than likely dead, Lily refused to give up on that small possibility that he was still alive until she found out for herself. James claimed he wouldn’t let her go, but was it possible that she could wear him down enough for him to agree to free her?
In the time she had to dwell on things, she had concluded that James wasn’t quite what he seemed. Lily was hardly an expert on how Voldemort’s aides acted in their own homes, but she was certain that the majority of them didn’t give their Muggle-born ‘prize’ a guestroom, plenty of food, free access around the house and for the most part, would largely ignore them. They definitely wouldn’t inquire to the whereabouts of said ‘prize’s’ friend, nor would they sit down and listen while that person grieved for what they had lost.
When she was first taken by James, she thought him menacing and vile, yet she had started to think there was more to him that that. James had a dark past - she could sense that much. He was also cold and abrasive, which was to be expected being around the likes of Voldemort, but she also wondered if that behaviour was a front for something else. He had kept his word and not hurt her, which made her wonder about him even more. If he had any motives then she didn’t understand them; she didn’t understand him at all. To her, he just seemed lonely and very much lost, and if that’s mainly what there was to him, perhaps she could use that to her advantage.
So far, Lily had kept out of his way. Last week she had been so distraught about Remus that she hadn’t left her room. This week, she had ventured out but had managed to avoid James, wandering the house when he was at work, eating at different times when he was present and staying in the library to while away the hours in the evening. She could tell that James preferred it that way, but now she had decided that in order for him to ever decide to let her go, she needed him to know her. It meant eating with him, trying to talk to him and learn about him, and making him aware of her presence. That it would all probably annoy the hell out of him was an added bonus.
+++
She started by being present at the dinner table when he came home. He’d been surprised when he saw her there but did his best to quickly disperse that look. He greeted her with a curt, “Miss Evans,” and sat opposite her. They ate in silence and a frown formed on his face. It didn’t leave at the end of dinner, nor did it leave his face at breakfast the next day, nor dinner after that. The frown persisted when she continued to eat with him the rest of the week.
James only ever greeted her with a detached “Miss Evans” and spent the rest of their duration together ignoring her. Lily, on the other hand, would study him surreptitiously. In the mornings, he would eat the same breakfast everyday: porridge, a banana and a cup of tea. He never seemed eager to go to work and would leave seconds before the clock struck nine. In the evenings he would come back looking absolutely exhausted and would hungrily devour whatever meal Potts had cooked for him. After that, he would retire to his study where he seemed to do an ongoing amount of paperwork.
A few days after Lily began this ritual, she finally received more than his usual greeting when she walked into the dining room at breakfast and he fixed her with a scowl, seeming more irritable than usual.
“Must you always wear that awful jumper?” he demanded, putting down the newspaper he’d been reading.
She raised an eyebrow and went to sit opposite him. “I’m sorry,” she remarked rather coolly. “It’s just that every morning I struggle to decide what to wear from the wardrobes full of clothes I own, so I just wear the same thing everyday instead.”
“Well it’s ugly,” he informed her. “And it clashes with your hair.”
“Funnily enough, finding a jumper to go with my hair wasn’t my top priority over the years,” she replied, as she helped herself to some toast and some orange juice. “I can’t imagine why.”
His scowl deepened and he went back to reading the paper, and Lily looked on, bemused.
+++
In the afternoon, Lily returned to her favourite place in the manor, James’ library. She had finished A History of Magic and had recently stumbled upon some other school books that kept her enthralled. Reading them transported her back to a place of structure and knowledge, and she enjoyed those moments of escapism.
Rifling further through James’ collection, she let out a tiny gasp of joy when she discovered The Standard Book of Spells, Grade Three. It was one of the first books McGonagall had taught from in the safe house, and it had instilled a sense of normality to everyone’s then chaotic lives. It didn’t beat being in Hogwarts and getting to practise the spells -that was the one thing Lily missed more than anything - but it was something they had all taken comfort from.
Lily did what she used to do back then: she began to recite all of the spells, starting from the very first. She looked at the spells, closed her eyes, pretended she had a wand in her hand and then whispered each one aloud.
The hours in the library melted away and it was dark before she knew it; Lily was existing in a world of Cheering Charms and Boggart Banishing spells, imagining that she was really casting them. As she reached the end of the book, she found a warming charm which made her realise how cold she was, and instantly, she shivered. It was freezing in the library and her jumper, despite Potts somehow making it thicker, didn’t provide sustainable warmth. So she memorised the spell, closed her eyes, held her hand out and whispered, “Tepidus.”
She felt a sudden warmth rush up her arm and through her body. Lily’s eyes still shut, she imagined that the spell had really worked. And then she smiled.
+++
From the doorway, he lowered his wand, watching as his warming spell fused through her. Lily was oblivious to his presence and the smile she conjured at reciting the spell momentarily stunned him.
When Lily hadn’t shown up for dinner, he had decided to see where she was. Although James hadn’t been too happy about Lily’s constant presence around him, he was adjusting to it and he also decided that her change in attitude towards him was her way of coping with her grief, and that needing to be around someone - him for that matter- was a symptom of that. He thought that he would despise her ever-present company, but she hadn’t been too bad.
And now he was watching her conjuring pretend spells and there was something about that that struck him as poignant. Usually, James would sneer at such displays of sentimentality, but there was something heartbreakingly desperate about her shivering in the cold and whispering spells that she couldn’t make happen, and he found himself raising his wand and conjuring the warming charm for her, before he even knew what he was doing.
Up until that moment, James had always taken his birthright and his right to possess a wand for granted. In all the Muggle-born cases he had dealt with, he had never stopped to consider how hard it must have been for them, even though he saw them subjected to the very worst kinds of living conditions because of who they were. And yet the presence of this girl in his house was making him start to second guess everything.
Feeling confused, he left Lily alone and headed for the study, making a mental note to ask Potts to make the library warmer.
+++
“Potts?” Lily called out, the next day.
Potts immediately appeared in the bathroom, where Lily was standing in front of the full-length mirror.
“Potts, do you have a pair of scissors that I could use?”
The house-elf’s eyes widened. “Scissors, Missus Evans?” And the anxious look on her face suggested to Lily that Potts hadn’t quite forgotten the episode where Lily had been so upset about Remus, she had all but drowned herself in the bathtub.
“I need to it to cut my hair,” Lily assured her. If she was going to harm herself, inflicting herself with a pair of scissors wasn’t going to be it.
Potts’ eyes widened even further, if that was possible. “Missus Lily wants to cut her hair? But why?” She stared adoringly at Lily’s brightly coloured hair, which fell to her waist.
Lily stared at her reflection in the mirror. “Because I’m twenty-two years old and I haven’t cut or styled my hair for almost ten years now. When I look in the mirror, I see a little girl, who is weak and fragile and doesn’t know how to cope with the world. I don’t want to be that person anymore. Please, Potts?”
Still looking as though the prospect of Lily cutting her hair would break her heart, Potts vanished and returned moments later with a pair of scissors.
“Does Missus Lily want Potts to cut her hair for her?”
“No thank you, Potts. This is something I want to do myself.”
“But Potts will stay and watch. Just in case Missus Lily needs help,” Potts squeaked and Lily smiled.
“If you wish, Potts.”
Lily took the scissors and looked back at the mirror. Her desire to cut her hair had burgeoned over the years. She used to want to do it during her stay at the safe house, in order to try and feel like a normal schoolgirl who cared about things like how her hair looked. And then when she was on the run, she wanted to cut it so it wasn’t in the way. Now it just stood as a reminder of those painful years. Being captured and having to deal with the loss of Remus made her feel weak and useless, and she didn’t want to feel that way. Cutting her hair was her solution; it wouldn’t restore her inner strength, but it would put her on the path to help her find her way again.
She raised the scissors and tried to find a reasonable length to cut off. She settled on just above her shoulders and took a glimpse of her nervous, green eyes reflecting back at her. Taking a deep breath, she hacked off a strand of hair. She heard a cry and thought it was her, and then giggled when she saw that it was only Potts, whose hands were clasped over her mouth in shock at the spectacle.
“Don’t worry Potts, it will look fine!” Lily said, before proceeding to cut off the rest of her hair. Strands fell to the floor as she deliberated lengths, twirled strands around her index finger and then cut them off. After what seemed like seconds, Lily’s hair was considerably shorter and she examined the finished results. Her hair was now just under her chin. The cut wasn’t particularly straight or smooth - but she loved it.
“Potts, I have cheekbones!” she exclaimed. “And look at my eyes, they look so green!” She twirled around in front of the mirror, loving the way her hair now had life, and loving the way it now framed her face, showing off defined cheekbones and angular features. Even the freckles across her nose were more noticeable. Lily was so happy that she couldn’t stop giggling.
Potts gave Lily an encouraging smile. “Missus Lily looks beautiful,” she informed her, but couldn’t quite hide the sad look that crossed her face when she looked at the fallen strands of hair on the floor.
+++
“Miss Evans?” James called as he stepped out of the Floo fireplace, trying to carry both his briefcase and large package in his hand.
Lily came out of the dining room where she’d been waiting.
“Yes?” she said, just as James dropped his package and bent down to pick it up.
“I have something here-,” he began, standing back up and immediately stopped when he took a look at her.
“What have you done to your hair?” he demanded, his eyes wide with shock.
“Obviously, I’ve cut it,” she replied.
“But-,” he began and she watched as his mouth opened and closed several times. He tried again. “You look-,”
“Better?” she volunteered.
“Different,” he supplied. He eyed her up and down. “Definitely different.”
“You have always looked at my hair as though it were the scourge of the planet.”
“Yes, but I didn’t realise you were going to hack it all off,” he said and then wrinkled his nose. “It looks like it’s been attacked by a horde of doxies.”
“I do so appreciate your compliments,” she informed him and James rolled his eyes.
“Anyway, as I was saying, I have something for you,” he announced and held out the package in his hands.
Surprise crossed her features. “That’s for me?” She looked up at him, confused.
James nodded.
“What is it?”
“Take it and see!”
Hesitantly, she reached out for the package, which seemed to be a thin box wrapped in brown paper. She took off the paper, which revealed the white box underneath. The frown which had developed on her face deepened, and slowly she lifted the lid off the box. Her widened eyes were almost popping out of their sockets when she saw was in it. Gently, she lifted the item out of the box.
“You got me a jumper?” she whispered, unable to hide the shock from her voice.
James shrugged. “Winter’s coming. It’s getting colder. Your jumper is useless and let’s not forget that I hate the bloody thing.”
He meant all that, but the truth was James had been wandering around Diagon Alley during his lunch hour and found himself standing in front of a window display of women’s clothing. A white jumper caught his eye, and immediately his mind conjured up the image of Lily shivering in her threadbare one. It was a sudden compulsion rather than a deliberate decision that made him walk into the shop and purchase it.
“I can’t accept this,” she said.
It was his turn to frown. “Why not?”
She fingered the soft, delicate material. “Because this is too much. No one has given me something in such a long time - and even so, never as fancy as this.” And if she accepted it, would he expect something from her in return? And if so, what? She had nothing to give him.
“Miss Evans, it’s yours,” he said in a tone that left no room for argument. “Anyway, I think dinner is ready.” And with that, he walked out of the room.
Lily stared after him, still in a state of disbelief. How had she gone from shocking him with her haircut, only for him to turn the tables and surprise her with a jumper?
+++
After dinner, in which she remained too stunned to attempt conversation, she went and had a bath. She found great amount of joy in dunking her head in the warm water and washing her newly-cut hair.
Then afterwards, she retired to bed, taking the jumper back out of its box and trying it on. It was cosy, a perfect fit and offered a welcoming warmness, and she decided it must have been charmed with magic. Lily wrapped her arms around herself and let out a content sigh. Feeling like a new woman, she fell asleep with a smile on her face.
When she woke up the next morning, she was happy to see that she was still wearing her jumper and that she hadn’t imagined it. She was dismayed, however, to find that her hair had returned to its original length.
+++
She trudged into the dining room with a scowl upon her face. James looked up when he saw her enter, took one look at her and let out a genuine laugh.
Although the sound of him actually laughing surprised her, she ignored it and her scowl transformed into a glare.
“It’s not funny,” she snapped.
“To you maybe,” he mused. “But it is to me.”
“I forgot that my hair only remains cut if my hair is trimmed with magic,” she informed him glumly. When Lily was younger and experiencing random outburst of magic, one of the symptoms would be that after her hair was cut, it would grow back to its normal length overnight. Even when she was at school, that trait continued and she found that only magic would stop it from doing so.
Feeling decidedly despondent, she could manage only a cup of tea. James, on the other hand, finished eating his breakfast and looked at her with a certain thoughtfulness. He then looked at his watch and then back at her.
He stood up. “Come with me,” he said.
Lily looked at him. “What?”
“Come with me,” he repeated. Lily followed him and found herself in the bathroom she used.
James walked Lily in front of the full-length mirror.
“What are you doing?” she asked in confusion.
“You’ll see,” he said, taking out his wand. He muttered a spell and the end of his wand glowed. Carefully, he picked up a strand of her hair and applied the wand to it; instantly, the hair below it fell off.
Lily let out a gasp. He was cutting her hair! Flabbergasted, she watched in the mirror and James intently repeated the process with the rest of her hair. Every now and then, his fingers would brush the nape of her neck, sending shivers down her spine. His fingers were deft and surprisingly careful and her eyes followed them in the mirror as he moved around. When he was mostly done, he turned her around so she was facing him and took hold of the front strands of her hair.
His eyes were glued to her hair but her gaze was transfixed to his face. Lily noted that his eyes were full of intense concentration - and she found them mesmerising.
Every time his fingers brushed against her skin, she found her body tingling at the strange sensation. No man had ever touched her before - Remus didn’t really count - and his fingers against her skin made her nerves dance.
When James was finished, he brushed her hair out of her face and gently lifted her chin up to examine the results. He removed his hand from her chin and ran it through her hair, as though he couldn’t resist doing so, and Lily suppressed a gasp at the sensation. He gave her an accomplished smile and her eyes widened, but her heart was pounding.
“All done,” he said, turning her back around to see the results. She marvelled at what she saw: her hair was an inch longer than she had previously cut it; it was more even and better shaped.
James took his hands off her shoulders and she felt a sudden loss.
“Do you like it?” he inquired, oblivious to Lily’s overwhelmed state.
Lily swallowed and managed a smile. “I didn’t realise that the Ministry Man also harboured a secret desire to be a hairdresser.”
He laughed and this time, Lily was paying full attention when he did so. When James laughed, he seemed younger, carefree and utterly captivating. It seemed a waste that he didn’t laugh all the time.
“One day I’ll fulfil my lifelong ambition,” he told her and Lily gaped. Had he just made a joke?
James looked at his watch again. “I better get to work.”
Lily nodded dumbly. “Thank you,” she managed to say. “For this,” she said pointing to her hair.
His eyes were vibrant and full of something she couldn’t quite identify - and they were fixed on hers.
“Goodbye, Miss Evans,” he said.
“Bye,” came her soft reply, just as he Apparated away.
( Part Four)
Author: starry_laa
Recipient:muse87
Rating: R
Wordcount: 25,380
Warnings: Dark themes, some sexual content.
Prompt: [Magical AU where Voldemort won the First War, preferably James and Lily don't know one another] Given her Muggle-born status, Lily is forced to work as an (escort/call girl/prostitute) in order to support herself in the wizarding world. The night she (meets/is hired by) pure-blood heir James Potter changes her life.
Summary: Having been hiding out in the middle of nowhere to escape Voldemort’s tyranny, Lily is captured by patrollers and subsequently offered as a prize to Voldemort’s followers. James claims her as his own, in the process altering the course of his life - and hers too.
( Previous Parts - Part One, Part Two )
Part Three
She sat on the edge of her bed, hands clasped together, trying to find solace in the darkness. There was a tap on her door, before it opened and someone stepped through. She knew who it was before she even looked up.
James cast one look around the bedroom before enchanting the lamp on the bedside table to light up. The sudden brightness of light temporarily blinded Lily and she looked up at him in annoyance.
“You’ve not come out of your room for a week,” James mused, by way of announcing himself.
“I’ve had no reason to,” she replied sharply. She eyed him cagily as he began to head toward her, wondering if he was choosing now to cash in her promise of giving herself to him, in exchange for finding out about Remus. If that was his intention, Lily wouldn’t be able to bear it; she wasn’t even fit for company right now.
But James didn’t seek to touch her. Instead, he went to sit on the same side of the bed as her.
“A body was sent to the Ministry today. It has yet to be formally identified, but I have reason to believe it is that of your friend.”
The girl said nothing, but he didn’t miss the way her lip trembled at this news and how she desperately tried to rein in her emotions.
Lily stared at James. His expression was impassive as always and she tried to search for a sign in his face that at least hinted at compassion. Inwardly angry at how unaffected he seemed by all this, when she herself was struggling to keep herself together, it made her want to see some sort of reaction from him - a glimpse of sympathy or even remorse at what his people did to the likes of her. Anything, so long as it wasn’t indifference.
“Remus was my best friend and had been for a long time,” she informed him, her eyes never leaving his face. “Remus’ father was a wizard and his mother was Muggle; if his father had been of high breeding, maybe he would have been accepted into your world when things began to change. But his father wasn’t and Remus, along with me, was shunned by many wizards at school when tensions started rising. At least, that’s what I tell myself - a change of status and Remus’ life could have been very different. But the truth is, even if Remus had been a pure-blood, he would have been seen as the scum of society.” Lily knew her eyes were gleaming and tried desperately to stave off the onslaught of tears. “When Remus was a child, he was subjected to the most vicious of attacks. His body was ripped apart and he was sent to St. Mungo’s. The medi-witches weren’t even sure that he’d live. But Remus survived and ultimately pulled through, yet his life came at a price: the monster that attacked Remus was a werewolf.”Lily noted with disgust that James visibly flinched at this revelation. Even though Voldemort had recruited werewolves to help him gain power, they were still seen as lowbred. “And that’s when Remus became a werewolf. No one deserves to become a werewolf, but to me, Remus was the most undeserving. It wasn’t in his nature to be vicious or angry, and every time that he transformed, he really fought to stay in control and not lose sight of his humanity. But every time, he inevitably failed.
“Remus wasn’t sure if he’d be able to go to Hogwarts because of his condition, but Dumbledore, knowing that Remus was more boy than werewolf, permitted him to go and he even had the Whomping Willow planted the year we started, to allow way for a safe passage for him to transform. His condition made him guarded and incredibly introverted and he was afraid of making friends in case they found out what he really was. He sat at the back of the classroom and spent all his free time hiding in the library, hoping to pass his time unnoticed by anyone else.
“When I started Hogwarts, I had one friend. He was a wizard and upon finding out I was magic, encouraged me to accept my place at Hogwarts. I was uncertain; I had no idea about the wizarding world and did not want to abandon my sister. But the promise of another world enthralled me and I eventually accepted. I loved Hogwarts the moment I started, but the fairytale ended a few months later. As you might know, there was talk of a dark wizard who wanted to take over the country and wanted to get rid of those who weren’t pure-blood, or at least those who weren’t pure-blood and didn’t support him. At first, it was easy to pretend he didn’t exist, but the threat of him loomed and Hogwarts became a hard place to be in. I remember tensions were fraught between pure-bloods and those who weren’t, fights broke out and the teachers had trouble reining everyone in. That wizard friend I had couldn’t cope with his friends teasing him about our friendship and he distanced himself from me, even though he was half Muggle - something I found hard to deal with.
“I remember that during second year, many parents chose not to send Muggle-borns back to Hogwarts as there were rumours of a pending war between the Dark Lord and those who opposed him. Many people - those of Muggle birth and even those who weren’t - were smart enough to move country, but I foolishly did not tell my parents of the problem. In my naivety, I believed the threat would dissipate, and because I couldn’t bear not being at Hogwarts, I returned for my second year. What I should have done was warned my family and given them - and myself - the best possible head start. Second year was awful. I was one of only a few Muggle-borns there. By that point, we started to feel out of place and we felt like we weren’t meant to be there. We were also vilified by some pupils who held a snobbish view about their blood-status. It wasn’t many pupils, but it was enough for me to lose my confidence and I began to stay in the library during my spare time.
“Not long afterwards, I noticed that Remus was a regular dweller too, and I approached him. He wasn’t keen on the idea of company but I think I wore him down after a while.” Lily permitted herself the smallest of smiles as she reflected on this memory. “Our friendship began and we were inseparable. Remus tried his best to hide his secret from me, but it wasn’t long before I grew suspicious and confronted him. Maybe it’s because I’m Muggle-born, but his being a werewolf didn’t faze me; after all, it wasn’t his fault that he was the way he was. There wasn’t much I could do to help him during his transformations, but I supported him as best as I could.
“Having him as a friend made everything better and I felt as though the two of us could weather the pending storm. If only I’d known how big that storm would be. At the end of second-year, the Dark Lord, having caused the Ministry to fall, came to attack Hogwarts - maybe you were even there when it happened. To me, it still seems surreal that he saw Dumbledore as the only great enemy standing in his way of power, and he was determined to topple him. And he did. No one was prepared for the attack and with the time given, Dumbledore tried his best to protect Hogwarts’ pupils and teachers. But we had nowhere to go. The Dark Lord then engaged in battle with Dumbledore in the Great Hall...” at this point, Lily’s voice began to crack as she recalled the incident. “He clearly had some powers that Dumbledore did not possess, for he was able to overcome him... and kill him.” She swallowed and the tears she had done so well and hiding, began to fall freely. “Everyone just stood around in shock, not knowing what to do. Remus and I were frozen in our place, unaware that Death Eaters would come swarming in to take anyone that wasn’t pure-blood or who was against the Dark Lord. By the grace of God, we managed to escape.” Lily closed her eyes as the scene played in her head. She remembered the bewilderment that had glued her and Remus in their place. She recalled the shock of her teachers. She remembered the sight of many Death Eaters rushing in to take over where the Dark Lord had left off. She remembered feeling panicked, incredibly scared and uncertain what to do. And then out of nowhere, someone grabbed their hands and led them away. It was a boy who seemed to understand fully the seriousness of the situation. He had known instantly what the Death Eaters were after and having recognised the two of them as not being pure-blood, he had led them to a secret passageway that would take them out of Hogwarts and instructed them to go down it. Confused and frightened, they agreed and began running down it. For one moment, Lily had been able to turn around to look at the boy. He was someone she recognised from her House but didn’t know well. He had messy, black hair and his glasses had been cast askew, but she’d never forgotten his face or the intense, worried look in his eyes as he watched them leave. And she’d always, always be grateful for what he did that day. Undoubtedly, he had saved hers and Remus’ lives.
She didn’t tell James about the boy, because he was her secret and the one memory she would not permit the Dark Lord to have.
When she stopped to study James, she was surprised to find a maelstrom of emotions evident in his eyes. He’s not so indifferent after all, she thought. He seemed to be miles away and maybe he was thinking of that day too - he must have been at Hogwarts then as well.
Lily carried on. “After we escaped, we found ourselves in Hogsmeade. Someone who had heard about the atrocities took us in and we stayed with them for a few days, before they passed us onto a safe house. As you probably know, Professor McGonagall had escaped Hogwarts and established a safe house for people like Remus and me. We spent a few years there, hidden from the Dark Lord’s watchful eye. We even made friends with some of the others hiding there. McGonagall couldn’t teach us magic because we would have been traced and we had to get rid of our wands. Instead, we had to make do with textbooks and demonstrations by her. There weren’t many of us in the safe house - probably about thirty, but there were other adults who looked after us too - they were the ones who told me about my family’s fate. They were part of the Resistance and were training us up to eventually join them. But then of course, that never happened, did it? The Dark Lord found out about the safe house and he captured many of us, including McGonagall. Remus and I were lucky again; we were able to escape, but just barely. We spent the next year on the run, hiding in the countryside and trying to keep out of trouble. We were doing fine until Remus got struck down by an illness and of course, you know the rest.” She fixed him with a trembling smile. “So you see, Remus and I have been through so much together. The idea of never getting to share anything with him ever again torments me.”
James looked at her and swallowed. “He sounds like he was a good friend.” And there was something in his voice that hinted that he had no idea what that was like.
“The best.”
“I am sorry about your friend,” he told her, and his voice was gruff and uncertain in its conviction. Lily looked on at him, glad for the apology.
“You and I must have been in the same year at school,” James said, changing the topic. “But I don’t remember you.”
“Then my hiding act worked well,” she mused. “You look sort of familiar, but it’s hard to tell from where.” For all she knew, James could have been in the same House as her but people grew up and changed and memories of faces blurred after a while; faces of people alive were confused with people who were dead and she couldn’t even distinguish names - all the names she remembered now seemed to be from an ever extending cenotaph.
Silence fell and the discomfort between them grew. James cast a look at Lily, who seemed to have fallen back into glumness. He didn’t know why he had come to see her. Potts was more than capable of checking up on the girl and James was hardly the comforting type. But he’d come home from work, eaten dinner by himself and then, whilst on the way to his chambers, found himself in Lily’s room instead. It was a long forgotten feeling that had urged him through the door and later, when James had thought about it, he would remember that feeling was concern.
“You know that I will never give up on one day finding Remus alive, don’t you?” Lily suddenly announced.
“You know that’s unlikely to happen, don’t you?”
“It doesn’t matter; it’s the only thing I cling to right now.”
James didn’t say anything, rather sensing that this was the time to leave.
He stood up.
“You said that you weren’t going to hurt me,” the girl said. “But are you going to eventually kill me or keep me here forever?”
“It depends,” he said through gritted teeth. “Are you going to keep asking all these questions?”
She glared at him.
“I know what you’re going to ask, but the answer is no, I won’t set you free. Even if I wanted to - and I can’t particularly say I do -, people know what you look like and would be onto you the moment you were freed. And setting you free wouldn’t exactly endear me to the Dark Lord.”
Lily let out a sigh. “Then will you ever tell me the reason why you have me here?”
But James just looked at her, his face now a carefully concealed mask, before walking out the door, and Lily briefly wondered if he even knew himself why he had her in this place.
+++
For the next few days, James left Lily alone and in that time, she tried to set her grief aside and focus on a plan. Even though James had told her that Remus was more than likely dead, Lily refused to give up on that small possibility that he was still alive until she found out for herself. James claimed he wouldn’t let her go, but was it possible that she could wear him down enough for him to agree to free her?
In the time she had to dwell on things, she had concluded that James wasn’t quite what he seemed. Lily was hardly an expert on how Voldemort’s aides acted in their own homes, but she was certain that the majority of them didn’t give their Muggle-born ‘prize’ a guestroom, plenty of food, free access around the house and for the most part, would largely ignore them. They definitely wouldn’t inquire to the whereabouts of said ‘prize’s’ friend, nor would they sit down and listen while that person grieved for what they had lost.
When she was first taken by James, she thought him menacing and vile, yet she had started to think there was more to him that that. James had a dark past - she could sense that much. He was also cold and abrasive, which was to be expected being around the likes of Voldemort, but she also wondered if that behaviour was a front for something else. He had kept his word and not hurt her, which made her wonder about him even more. If he had any motives then she didn’t understand them; she didn’t understand him at all. To her, he just seemed lonely and very much lost, and if that’s mainly what there was to him, perhaps she could use that to her advantage.
So far, Lily had kept out of his way. Last week she had been so distraught about Remus that she hadn’t left her room. This week, she had ventured out but had managed to avoid James, wandering the house when he was at work, eating at different times when he was present and staying in the library to while away the hours in the evening. She could tell that James preferred it that way, but now she had decided that in order for him to ever decide to let her go, she needed him to know her. It meant eating with him, trying to talk to him and learn about him, and making him aware of her presence. That it would all probably annoy the hell out of him was an added bonus.
+++
She started by being present at the dinner table when he came home. He’d been surprised when he saw her there but did his best to quickly disperse that look. He greeted her with a curt, “Miss Evans,” and sat opposite her. They ate in silence and a frown formed on his face. It didn’t leave at the end of dinner, nor did it leave his face at breakfast the next day, nor dinner after that. The frown persisted when she continued to eat with him the rest of the week.
James only ever greeted her with a detached “Miss Evans” and spent the rest of their duration together ignoring her. Lily, on the other hand, would study him surreptitiously. In the mornings, he would eat the same breakfast everyday: porridge, a banana and a cup of tea. He never seemed eager to go to work and would leave seconds before the clock struck nine. In the evenings he would come back looking absolutely exhausted and would hungrily devour whatever meal Potts had cooked for him. After that, he would retire to his study where he seemed to do an ongoing amount of paperwork.
A few days after Lily began this ritual, she finally received more than his usual greeting when she walked into the dining room at breakfast and he fixed her with a scowl, seeming more irritable than usual.
“Must you always wear that awful jumper?” he demanded, putting down the newspaper he’d been reading.
She raised an eyebrow and went to sit opposite him. “I’m sorry,” she remarked rather coolly. “It’s just that every morning I struggle to decide what to wear from the wardrobes full of clothes I own, so I just wear the same thing everyday instead.”
“Well it’s ugly,” he informed her. “And it clashes with your hair.”
“Funnily enough, finding a jumper to go with my hair wasn’t my top priority over the years,” she replied, as she helped herself to some toast and some orange juice. “I can’t imagine why.”
His scowl deepened and he went back to reading the paper, and Lily looked on, bemused.
+++
In the afternoon, Lily returned to her favourite place in the manor, James’ library. She had finished A History of Magic and had recently stumbled upon some other school books that kept her enthralled. Reading them transported her back to a place of structure and knowledge, and she enjoyed those moments of escapism.
Rifling further through James’ collection, she let out a tiny gasp of joy when she discovered The Standard Book of Spells, Grade Three. It was one of the first books McGonagall had taught from in the safe house, and it had instilled a sense of normality to everyone’s then chaotic lives. It didn’t beat being in Hogwarts and getting to practise the spells -that was the one thing Lily missed more than anything - but it was something they had all taken comfort from.
Lily did what she used to do back then: she began to recite all of the spells, starting from the very first. She looked at the spells, closed her eyes, pretended she had a wand in her hand and then whispered each one aloud.
The hours in the library melted away and it was dark before she knew it; Lily was existing in a world of Cheering Charms and Boggart Banishing spells, imagining that she was really casting them. As she reached the end of the book, she found a warming charm which made her realise how cold she was, and instantly, she shivered. It was freezing in the library and her jumper, despite Potts somehow making it thicker, didn’t provide sustainable warmth. So she memorised the spell, closed her eyes, held her hand out and whispered, “Tepidus.”
She felt a sudden warmth rush up her arm and through her body. Lily’s eyes still shut, she imagined that the spell had really worked. And then she smiled.
+++
From the doorway, he lowered his wand, watching as his warming spell fused through her. Lily was oblivious to his presence and the smile she conjured at reciting the spell momentarily stunned him.
When Lily hadn’t shown up for dinner, he had decided to see where she was. Although James hadn’t been too happy about Lily’s constant presence around him, he was adjusting to it and he also decided that her change in attitude towards him was her way of coping with her grief, and that needing to be around someone - him for that matter- was a symptom of that. He thought that he would despise her ever-present company, but she hadn’t been too bad.
And now he was watching her conjuring pretend spells and there was something about that that struck him as poignant. Usually, James would sneer at such displays of sentimentality, but there was something heartbreakingly desperate about her shivering in the cold and whispering spells that she couldn’t make happen, and he found himself raising his wand and conjuring the warming charm for her, before he even knew what he was doing.
Up until that moment, James had always taken his birthright and his right to possess a wand for granted. In all the Muggle-born cases he had dealt with, he had never stopped to consider how hard it must have been for them, even though he saw them subjected to the very worst kinds of living conditions because of who they were. And yet the presence of this girl in his house was making him start to second guess everything.
Feeling confused, he left Lily alone and headed for the study, making a mental note to ask Potts to make the library warmer.
+++
“Potts?” Lily called out, the next day.
Potts immediately appeared in the bathroom, where Lily was standing in front of the full-length mirror.
“Potts, do you have a pair of scissors that I could use?”
The house-elf’s eyes widened. “Scissors, Missus Evans?” And the anxious look on her face suggested to Lily that Potts hadn’t quite forgotten the episode where Lily had been so upset about Remus, she had all but drowned herself in the bathtub.
“I need to it to cut my hair,” Lily assured her. If she was going to harm herself, inflicting herself with a pair of scissors wasn’t going to be it.
Potts’ eyes widened even further, if that was possible. “Missus Lily wants to cut her hair? But why?” She stared adoringly at Lily’s brightly coloured hair, which fell to her waist.
Lily stared at her reflection in the mirror. “Because I’m twenty-two years old and I haven’t cut or styled my hair for almost ten years now. When I look in the mirror, I see a little girl, who is weak and fragile and doesn’t know how to cope with the world. I don’t want to be that person anymore. Please, Potts?”
Still looking as though the prospect of Lily cutting her hair would break her heart, Potts vanished and returned moments later with a pair of scissors.
“Does Missus Lily want Potts to cut her hair for her?”
“No thank you, Potts. This is something I want to do myself.”
“But Potts will stay and watch. Just in case Missus Lily needs help,” Potts squeaked and Lily smiled.
“If you wish, Potts.”
Lily took the scissors and looked back at the mirror. Her desire to cut her hair had burgeoned over the years. She used to want to do it during her stay at the safe house, in order to try and feel like a normal schoolgirl who cared about things like how her hair looked. And then when she was on the run, she wanted to cut it so it wasn’t in the way. Now it just stood as a reminder of those painful years. Being captured and having to deal with the loss of Remus made her feel weak and useless, and she didn’t want to feel that way. Cutting her hair was her solution; it wouldn’t restore her inner strength, but it would put her on the path to help her find her way again.
She raised the scissors and tried to find a reasonable length to cut off. She settled on just above her shoulders and took a glimpse of her nervous, green eyes reflecting back at her. Taking a deep breath, she hacked off a strand of hair. She heard a cry and thought it was her, and then giggled when she saw that it was only Potts, whose hands were clasped over her mouth in shock at the spectacle.
“Don’t worry Potts, it will look fine!” Lily said, before proceeding to cut off the rest of her hair. Strands fell to the floor as she deliberated lengths, twirled strands around her index finger and then cut them off. After what seemed like seconds, Lily’s hair was considerably shorter and she examined the finished results. Her hair was now just under her chin. The cut wasn’t particularly straight or smooth - but she loved it.
“Potts, I have cheekbones!” she exclaimed. “And look at my eyes, they look so green!” She twirled around in front of the mirror, loving the way her hair now had life, and loving the way it now framed her face, showing off defined cheekbones and angular features. Even the freckles across her nose were more noticeable. Lily was so happy that she couldn’t stop giggling.
Potts gave Lily an encouraging smile. “Missus Lily looks beautiful,” she informed her, but couldn’t quite hide the sad look that crossed her face when she looked at the fallen strands of hair on the floor.
+++
“Miss Evans?” James called as he stepped out of the Floo fireplace, trying to carry both his briefcase and large package in his hand.
Lily came out of the dining room where she’d been waiting.
“Yes?” she said, just as James dropped his package and bent down to pick it up.
“I have something here-,” he began, standing back up and immediately stopped when he took a look at her.
“What have you done to your hair?” he demanded, his eyes wide with shock.
“Obviously, I’ve cut it,” she replied.
“But-,” he began and she watched as his mouth opened and closed several times. He tried again. “You look-,”
“Better?” she volunteered.
“Different,” he supplied. He eyed her up and down. “Definitely different.”
“You have always looked at my hair as though it were the scourge of the planet.”
“Yes, but I didn’t realise you were going to hack it all off,” he said and then wrinkled his nose. “It looks like it’s been attacked by a horde of doxies.”
“I do so appreciate your compliments,” she informed him and James rolled his eyes.
“Anyway, as I was saying, I have something for you,” he announced and held out the package in his hands.
Surprise crossed her features. “That’s for me?” She looked up at him, confused.
James nodded.
“What is it?”
“Take it and see!”
Hesitantly, she reached out for the package, which seemed to be a thin box wrapped in brown paper. She took off the paper, which revealed the white box underneath. The frown which had developed on her face deepened, and slowly she lifted the lid off the box. Her widened eyes were almost popping out of their sockets when she saw was in it. Gently, she lifted the item out of the box.
“You got me a jumper?” she whispered, unable to hide the shock from her voice.
James shrugged. “Winter’s coming. It’s getting colder. Your jumper is useless and let’s not forget that I hate the bloody thing.”
He meant all that, but the truth was James had been wandering around Diagon Alley during his lunch hour and found himself standing in front of a window display of women’s clothing. A white jumper caught his eye, and immediately his mind conjured up the image of Lily shivering in her threadbare one. It was a sudden compulsion rather than a deliberate decision that made him walk into the shop and purchase it.
“I can’t accept this,” she said.
It was his turn to frown. “Why not?”
She fingered the soft, delicate material. “Because this is too much. No one has given me something in such a long time - and even so, never as fancy as this.” And if she accepted it, would he expect something from her in return? And if so, what? She had nothing to give him.
“Miss Evans, it’s yours,” he said in a tone that left no room for argument. “Anyway, I think dinner is ready.” And with that, he walked out of the room.
Lily stared after him, still in a state of disbelief. How had she gone from shocking him with her haircut, only for him to turn the tables and surprise her with a jumper?
+++
After dinner, in which she remained too stunned to attempt conversation, she went and had a bath. She found great amount of joy in dunking her head in the warm water and washing her newly-cut hair.
Then afterwards, she retired to bed, taking the jumper back out of its box and trying it on. It was cosy, a perfect fit and offered a welcoming warmness, and she decided it must have been charmed with magic. Lily wrapped her arms around herself and let out a content sigh. Feeling like a new woman, she fell asleep with a smile on her face.
When she woke up the next morning, she was happy to see that she was still wearing her jumper and that she hadn’t imagined it. She was dismayed, however, to find that her hair had returned to its original length.
+++
She trudged into the dining room with a scowl upon her face. James looked up when he saw her enter, took one look at her and let out a genuine laugh.
Although the sound of him actually laughing surprised her, she ignored it and her scowl transformed into a glare.
“It’s not funny,” she snapped.
“To you maybe,” he mused. “But it is to me.”
“I forgot that my hair only remains cut if my hair is trimmed with magic,” she informed him glumly. When Lily was younger and experiencing random outburst of magic, one of the symptoms would be that after her hair was cut, it would grow back to its normal length overnight. Even when she was at school, that trait continued and she found that only magic would stop it from doing so.
Feeling decidedly despondent, she could manage only a cup of tea. James, on the other hand, finished eating his breakfast and looked at her with a certain thoughtfulness. He then looked at his watch and then back at her.
He stood up. “Come with me,” he said.
Lily looked at him. “What?”
“Come with me,” he repeated. Lily followed him and found herself in the bathroom she used.
James walked Lily in front of the full-length mirror.
“What are you doing?” she asked in confusion.
“You’ll see,” he said, taking out his wand. He muttered a spell and the end of his wand glowed. Carefully, he picked up a strand of her hair and applied the wand to it; instantly, the hair below it fell off.
Lily let out a gasp. He was cutting her hair! Flabbergasted, she watched in the mirror and James intently repeated the process with the rest of her hair. Every now and then, his fingers would brush the nape of her neck, sending shivers down her spine. His fingers were deft and surprisingly careful and her eyes followed them in the mirror as he moved around. When he was mostly done, he turned her around so she was facing him and took hold of the front strands of her hair.
His eyes were glued to her hair but her gaze was transfixed to his face. Lily noted that his eyes were full of intense concentration - and she found them mesmerising.
Every time his fingers brushed against her skin, she found her body tingling at the strange sensation. No man had ever touched her before - Remus didn’t really count - and his fingers against her skin made her nerves dance.
When James was finished, he brushed her hair out of her face and gently lifted her chin up to examine the results. He removed his hand from her chin and ran it through her hair, as though he couldn’t resist doing so, and Lily suppressed a gasp at the sensation. He gave her an accomplished smile and her eyes widened, but her heart was pounding.
“All done,” he said, turning her back around to see the results. She marvelled at what she saw: her hair was an inch longer than she had previously cut it; it was more even and better shaped.
James took his hands off her shoulders and she felt a sudden loss.
“Do you like it?” he inquired, oblivious to Lily’s overwhelmed state.
Lily swallowed and managed a smile. “I didn’t realise that the Ministry Man also harboured a secret desire to be a hairdresser.”
He laughed and this time, Lily was paying full attention when he did so. When James laughed, he seemed younger, carefree and utterly captivating. It seemed a waste that he didn’t laugh all the time.
“One day I’ll fulfil my lifelong ambition,” he told her and Lily gaped. Had he just made a joke?
James looked at his watch again. “I better get to work.”
Lily nodded dumbly. “Thank you,” she managed to say. “For this,” she said pointing to her hair.
His eyes were vibrant and full of something she couldn’t quite identify - and they were fixed on hers.
“Goodbye, Miss Evans,” he said.
“Bye,” came her soft reply, just as he Apparated away.
( Part Four)