Title: Five People Lily Evans Never Fell In Love With
Rating: Um, pg13 for mythical swears?
Pairings?: Only almost-pairings. I'd list characters, but it sort of ruins the suspense of who the five are, now, doesn't it? But it is canon-compliant, so there's some Lily/Severus. The rest are all speculation, babe.
Summary: Five people Lily Evans never (almost) fell in love with and why.
Notes: This was for a
meme and is a gift for
inksplotched.
five people lily evans never fell in love with
one: Sirius Black
--
Right around the end of third year, every girl in the castle develops a crush on Sirius Black.
Or, at least, that’s what it seems like to Lily - Mary talks about him frequently, about his smooth black hair and his mysterious gray eyes and the girls’ dorm lights up with talk about Gryffindor’s resident Tall, Dark and Handsome.
To Lily, it’s a little ridiculous, and she lets the words wash over her meaninglessly as she pens a letter to her mother. Still, there’s something about him that’s utterly alluring, though Lily can’t seem to put her finger on it. Perhaps it’s the confidence. Perhaps it’s his newfound deep voice, the way he seems to excel at magic effortlessly or the way he grins like he owns the world.
Whatever it is, it causes her eyes to follow him out of the room on more than one occasion, and for almost three weeks she even allows herself to fancy him.
By the end of the month, though, he and Potter end up dueling Severus in the hallway, and Lily decides that mystery and allure are not nearly enough.
--
two: Remus Lupin
--
In fourth year, Lily gets to know Remus Lupin.
It’s a weird, slow thing that sort of evolves before she’s even sure how. The only time they’re ever together is when he’s not with his friends and she’s not with Severus, and yet somehow those very scenarios seem to pop up all the time. He’s studying in the Common Room while his friends have got detentions or she’s sitting in the library when Sev is off somewhere with Avery -- fate, it seems, is simply determined that Lily get to know Remus. So she does.
And she learns that his mother is a Muggle, so he’s much more adept at using “funny Muggle contraptions” like “telephones” than most of the children at school. She learns that he doesn’t like to read as much as everyone seems to think, that he only used to do it because books were the only things about him that his Muggle grandparents could ever really understand. She learns that he’s funny, too, a very distinct, subtle sort of humour that nearly reminds her of Severus.
She learns that he chews the top of his quill when he’s deep in thought and that he crosses his t’s without taking the nib off the parchment. She learns he’s got a scar on his upper right forearm, almost at the elbow, from a neighbor’s dog, and that his eyes are exactly the same shade as a hazelnut.
She also learns that he’s worried, worried that if he ever tells off Sirius and James for doing something stupid, they’ll all three decide that he’s not worth being friends with, and it scares him so much he lets them do whatever they want.
Lily decides she could never be with someone who can’t even stand up to his friends.
--
three: Severus Snape
--
“Got in an argument with Petunia today,” she starts, and Severus is already rolling his eyes. Lily decides, for the moment, to ignore the show of blatant disinterest, and plunges on.
“It was mostly just the usual, you know, ‘you’re a freak, blah, blah,’ but then -” Lily’s eyes light up as she reaches the high point of her narrative and she looks over at him, eager. “- Then she says, ‘do you have any idea what it’s like, being the older sister of that freak girl who’s shagging that boy from Spinner’s End?’”
Lily laughs then, but Severus’ expression remains bemused and so Lily elbows him in the ribs.
“Come on, Sev. They think we’re shagging. Isn’t that hilarious?”
Her grin is infectious and he half-smiles in return. “It is pretty inaccurate,” he agrees.
Lily laughs again, shaking her head and tickling his arm with that long red hair of hers. “Even Tuney believed it. I set her straight, of course, told her we’re just friends - I mean, you’re practically my brother.” She breaks off with one last fit of giggles. “Honestly. Is this town that starved for gossip?”
Severus says nothing and shreds a blade of grass between his fingers. She snickers and leans her head back against his shoulder, closing her eyes.
“Oh, Sev, don’t look so revolted. I’m not that ugly, am I?”
--
four: Frank Longbottom
--
Frank is two years older than Lily, and in fifth year, that means he’s Nearly Perfect.
She’s tired of the immature antics of her own year mates - the “Marauders”, they’ve started calling themselves - and things with Severus are rockier than ever. Frank is a seventh-year, an aspiring Auror, and the picture of maturity.
He doesn’t hex people, he’s always polite to everyone so long as they’re polite to him, she doubts he’s even so much as considered anyone’s blood, and he makes it very clear that he wants to leave school and go join the war effort, fight for the Ministry. She admires that, admires the idea of Gryffindor bravery being something other than brazen stupidity. She tries to convince herself that in two years, the “Marauders” will have grown up as much as Frank has, but she can’t. She’s almost certain they’ll spend the rest of their days as teenage boys, permanently stuck in a state of arrested development.
Frank is nothing like that. Frank doesn’t pull stupid pranks to get attention or play with infuriating stolen Snitches to show off. He doesn’t call Mary Macdonald “Mudblood” or defend the actions of people like Mulciber. He starts studying months before his NEWTs and she never sees him up in the Common Room at three in the morning because he put off his homework until the day before it was due.
And yet… there’s just something that isn’t there, something intangible that Frank Longbottom just hasn’t got, and so her admiration is never anything more.
--
five: Regulus Black
--
Lily doesn’t know much about Regulus Black, and yet in sixth year she spends an inordinate amount of time thinking about him.
She sees him at Slughorn’s parties, lurking off to the side with some Slytherin friends, and what first catches her eye is that he is so very unlike his brother. His face is not as handsome. his jaw, not as strong, his shoulders, not as broad. He doesn’t draw attention to himself the way Sirius does, doesn’t leap up to be the centre of everything, and she notices that Regulus rarely laughs. She wonders if this is what the Black family had wanted as an heir, someone unremarkable and refined like Regulus, or if they secretly mourned the loss of their brighter, older son.
From there, she thinks they might have something in common, she and this very different Black brother. She wonders if all that Sirius says about their parents’ favoritism is true, or if he, like Petunia, sees only what he wants. She wonders if Regulus is frustrated the way she is, if Regulus has ever told Sirius that even if their parents do play favourites it isn’t his fault, isn’t his choice. She wonders if the Black brothers were close in their youth, if they used to call each other silly pet names and play games that only they understood.
She wonders if Regulus ever lays awake at night, staring at the ceiling and aching for want of the older brother he used to have, one that would hold his hand when he was scared in the dark, one that would share ice cream cones when Regulus dropped his.
She thinks about Regulus Black a lot in those few months after Petunia gets engaged. She migrates closer to him at Slughorn’s parties, watches him intently whenever Slytherin plays a Quidditch match, imagines time and again ways she could get to know him, ways she could tell him I know just how you feel.
She spends so long imagining what it would be like that he’s practically an imaginary friend, and so one day she decides to be a proper Gryffindor. She’s two feet away and ready to tap on his shoulder and say, right up front, “Regulus Black, you and I, we should be friends,” when she hears a snippet of candid conversation.
“…Snape’s a bit weird, really -- still moping over the loss of his Mudblood girlfriend, isn’t he?”
The expectations in her head crash down in about a second - the very second it takes for her to close the two-foot gap and tap Regulus on the shoulder.
“Five points from Slytherin,” she says coolly, shoving through the throng of silver and green. “Watch your language, Black.”
--