Memory, Inherent Vice, and Other Old Dress Problems

[lilmissnever]

Vintage clothing does not travel well, which is why my wardrobe has slowly morphed into an easily-squishable pile of stretch cotton jersey dresses and 20-hole boots that can survive the treacherous cobblestones of Europe. When I am in ess eff, I take out my much-loved early sixties cotton shirtwaists and t-strap heels and wear the ones that don't

Comments

[ilcylic]

"Now she's in purple, now she's a turtle... Disintegrating..."

[lilmissnever]

I may have written some additional stuff that was not about old dresses. It turns out that I wanted to talk about my feelings. I will resume talking about Death Cough, aerials, and jet lag shortly.

[ilcylic]

I hope you did not misunderstand me as mocking you. I was trying, in my own "crippled by american masculine culture" manner, to be sympathetic, with a side order of "pop-culture catchy reference".

I would happily listen to you talk about anything, from old dresses to your feelings. I suspect my positions on both old dresses and feelings would be complimentary to yours.

[ilcylic]

*hugs both you and E.*

[kryscat]

Sounds like your agreement is a good start, and something that would be useful for many people I know.

[elusis]

But where are the PICTURES of the Callot Soeurs??? I demand pictures.

Have you watched the delightful "House of Eliott" series? I think I streamed it from Netflix. It is basically about Vionnet and the Callot Soeurs. :D

[lilmissnever]

I have found many excellent photos of Callot sisters gowns, including this one, which I think is an excellent example of the "bead the holy hell out of everything" Edwardian style. Unfortunately, I can't find any photos of the specific gowns found in these trunks. It sounds like they'll be on display soon, though.

[elusis]

Also, on friends: Sometimes I get through the Adulting bits, which I am only now figuring out with a few close people, by imagining sock puppets.

"I am having a feeling."

"Oh? Tell me about your feeling."

"I am feeling angry because when you left the club without finding me, I thought you were angry at me because I was kissing someone."

"I did not know that! I saw you kissing someone and thought you wanted to be left alone! So I left and thought I was doing a good thing by leaving you to your adulting! I am sad that I gave you the impression that I did not approve or care about you!"

"Gosh, those are two different perspectives!"

"They are!"

"I am glad I know what happened from your perspective!"

"Me too!"

"I think we have all learned something today!"

"Thank you for telling me about your feelings!"

[hugging]

I actually had basically this conversation a couple of years ago. We were both proud of ourselves. It's HARD.

ps I am always glad to get together and hear about your FEELINGS.

[lilmissnever]

I found that "please tell me when you're having a feeling" has been very helpful in my communication with E. It is, unfortunately, not a panacea for dealing with my friends. For reasons that probably have to do with the patriarchy, "tell me when you're having a feeling" seems to be an even harder task for men than it is for women.

[gnat23]

Me and the man have an understanding that sometimes I get angry/sad/lashy-outy for no reason at all, and I can just say so and he doesn't take it personally. In fact, he then asks if he can help or if it's better to just leave me alone to sulk. It is a decent system.

[lilmissnever]

J and I are very good at figuring out when we're being cranky at one another because one or both of us is so hungry we could die. This has not entirely eliminated fights over where to get meals or what to make for dinner, but it has seriously cut down on them.

[icecreamemperor]

It is good to have a plan.

[lilmissnever]

There's a lot that can go wrong after that step, but it's a massive improvement over flailing about, wondering why bad things keep happening to you and having no systematic way in which to deal with it.