And Then My Cat Died

[lilmissnever]

There was a time when I might have written this differently. I might have started with the time that my cat staggered into the shower while it was still on and just stood there, dull-eyed and dazed while the water fell on her. I might talk about the many trips to the vet, the pancreatitis, the enlarged kidney, the high levels of calcium in her

Comments

[usekh]

Having just been through something very similar I know how you feel, but from what you wrote it sounds like you did all you could. Still I feel the same here about Giselle, and so sorry for you :(

[lilmissnever]

The same thing happened to my mother a few months ago. 2014 has not been a good year for cats.

A lot of people thought that my mother took it particularly hard at the time, but I have pretty strong understanding of why that felt so awful. I recall her saying that she felt as if her luck had run out. I feel like mine has run out a bit.

[lorigami]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

[lilmissnever]

It is dumb that cats live short lives and human live long ones. If I knew where to send it, I would file a bug report.

[fightingwords]

You did everything you could. I'm sorry.

[lilmissnever]

I have that weird feeling that I suspect haunts habitual writers that I owe her passing a better piece of writing than this.

In the mornings, when Perl jumps onto the bed, I still expect the sound of Ada jumping up after her.

[elusis]

I'm so sorry, you guys. You did the best you could, and I'm sorry that she was so sick that it still wasn't possible to make her better.

[lilmissnever]

I wish we'd had a better idea of the cause of her illness. If the vet had found cancer or if she'd had hepatic lipidosis again, somehow I think it would be easier to comprehend. Under stress, I am still fundamentally an engineer--I want to know why things are broken. Like most stress reactions, I know it's ridiculous. Knowing what killed my cat will not make her any less dead.

J and I argue about whether or not Perl misses her sister. J insists that Perl is being more clingy than usual. I think Perl is just thrilled to have Bunker 3 all to herself.

[thewronghands]

Yeah, when Cull and I had Brendan and Eachtra, and Brendan died, we went through that. We thought we'd have to get another cat so that Eachtra wouldn't be lonely. Instead, she was happy that she had everything now. HER sunbeam. HER lap. ALL HER food. So we didn't get another cat. It really brought home our projections of grief there, and how they were not shared by the actual remaining cat.

[lilmissnever]

I want another cat because I want my cat. Perl does not appear to feel to same way. Besides, there's no way to be sure that a new cat would love me best. I venture it would be unlikely, given that J now stays home living a life of retired leisure and I travel all over the place.

[vicious_wench]

Heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. My sympathies to you and J.

[lilmissnever]

One of my co-workers has recently started fostering feral kittens. We had a lawyer in the office who did this years ago and it was fantastic. I am treating my cat-related stress by applying a kitten poultice once a day. They are all boy kittens and none of them are entirely black, so there is no chance that I will take one home, but they are tiny and very sweet and they make me feel better.

[vicious_wench]

Kitten poultices seem like a wonderful comfort.

And I understand you, entirely, about wishing you knew what caused her death. I've been on that road; it's a rough one.