fic: budget cuts (parks and recreation, leslie/ben, pg)
Title: Budget Cuts
Rating: PG
Character(s): Leslie/Ben (Parks and Recreation)
Spoilers: up to the S2 finale
Summary: She smiles fondly and Ben reflects that with her cheery personality and stubborn force of will she’s probably the most influential person Ben’s met in a long time.
Word Count: 1,000+
"Tom stays." Leslie says, adamantly slamming her palm on the table. This is only their third meeting and Ben is starting to wonder if she even knows how to negotiate. So far every concession he’s tried to make has been met with Leslie rigidly standing her ground, immobile like a two year old holding its breath.
He sighs.
"You know, yesterday I would have fought you, but Tom came to my hotel room with a slide-show of all his skills and I actually think it’s better for all of Pawnee if he remain under adult supervision."
"Yes, well I like to think I’ve had a good influence on him." She smiles fondly and Ben reflects that with her cheery personality and stubborn force of will she’s probably the most influential person Ben’s met in a long time.
(Even if she doesn’t understand the word ‘compromise’)
---
Ben’s tired, he missed lunch and he’s starting to get a headache behind his eyes. His only hope for surviving this day was if his next meeting was with someone who understood how to use their indoor voice.
Leslie’s voice isn’t exactly what he would call soothing, but after listening to her talk for a half hour, at least he’s able to open his eyes again.
(Of course, that could be due to the lights being shut off after three to save power.)
She takes a break to drink from her highly sugary juice bottle and he takes his chance to be heard. "I understand that you had your single greatest interaction with Donna in this office--"
She opens her mouth to elaborate but he holds up his hand to stop her from talking. They’d been at this long enough that he knew, even with his eyes still closed, that if he paused for longer than three seconds, she’d interrupt with another pitch.
"But trust me; she won’t be hurting if we move her to just three days a week. You know that she has three shares in the Snakehole Lounge? Or that she co-owns that nail salon she visits every week?"
"She does?"
"I’m pretty sure she works here to keep from being bored."
"Donna stays because she likes us?" Leslie’s grin is so wide he has to blink for a minute in case his headache comes back.
"Well, I’m sure the inflated government salary doesn’t hurt." He adds, dryly.
"Oh Benjy, that’s your problem." She places her hand on top of his. "You’re always thinking about dollars and cents. Donna thinks of us as her family." She looks up at him with her incredibly blue eyes. "How can we turn away family?"
In the end, he manages to give Donna half days, allowing her to get back to her real family at home in the afternoon and he has the sneaking suspicion that he’s being far more kind to Donna than to the city’s budget.
---
"Okay, now we’re on to April."
"That’s up to Ron. You can’t take away Ron’s moat. He gets all growly and destroys government property. He’s actually kept the same phone for three months since she started as his assistant. Surely that’s saving the department some money!" She throws her hands up in the air in what he strongly suspects is supposed to be a dramatic plea. Instead, he just pushes his donut across the table for her to devour, giving him a few seconds of silence.
(He’s not exactly sure why he even bought it today since he doesn’t even like chocolate dip. He’s more of a honey crueller man.)
While she eagerly licked her fingers after vanishing his donut in seconds, he looked over the dates for the many invoices for new electronics, considering Leslie’s point. "Hmm, he does seem oddly attached to her."
She gasped, as though struck by lightning. "You don’t think he’s her long lost father, do you?"
He sputters on his coffee. "What? Do you?"
"Well, I’ve met her parents and she looks like them."Her shoulders sag for the merest of moments before picking back up again. "But wouldn’t it be a great story for the Pawnee Gazette?"
He’s really trying to be polite, but sometimes he can’t help but gape a bit at Leslie when she has these epiphanies. She continues on, not noticing his disbelief.
She waves her hands in the air, spelling out an imaginary headline. "'The Parks Department reuniting father and daughter in the bond of municipal government!' Doesn’t it sound magical?"
It sounds a bit like a horror story to Ben, but he nods anyway. He places April’s file further back in his folder to deal with another day.
(He doesn’t touch Leslie’s cheek where she still has a smudge of chocolate at the corner of her mouth. That would be unprofessional.)
---
"Next item is Ann. What’s her capacity here. Is she a consultant?"
"Oh no, Ann’s my very bestest best friend." She holds out her wrist, showing a beaded bracelet as if it were a diamond chain or held the secrets to the meaning of life.
"Then why are you expensing lunches with her?"
"Oh, because she was complaining about all her late shifts at the hospital and having a bit of a rough time with Mark and since I couldn’t really do anything about that, I thought that at least I could give her a free lunch. Even if it is salad."
"Leslie, you can’t do that."
"But you didn’t see her face, Ben! How about I phone her and we can re-enact the situation?" She’s already got her phone out and with speed-dial she’s animatedly talking to the nurse Ben’s met briefly once before.
The whole meeting after is pretty much a write-off as Leslie never stops chatting with her friend. Ben slips out the door unnoticed, leaving a post-it note on Leslie’s desk reminding her that business lunches have to discuss actual business, not the results of last night’s Top Chef.
---
"Jerry only needs one more year until he qualifies for his full pension."
"We’d be offering him a settlement to retire early."
Leslie bites her lip and Ben begins to steel himself against her next attack.
"Okay. I think I can help talk him into that."
He winces before the meaning of her words sink in.
"Wait, just okay? You’re not going to fight me on this?"
"I guess I can see how it will help the budget."
Then Leslie flashes him a brilliant, almost devious smile. If he weren’t so charmed by her, he’d have noticed it for the warning sign it was.
"But we’d need someone else to fill the hummingbird feeders around the parks. It used to be his favourite job. Hey, how about I take you around and show you the ropes! It will be a great way to get familiar with our parks!"
He’s not sure how he just got stuck with hummingbird duty, it seems to be Leslie’s specialty to volunteer people without their consent, but if it saves the department Jerry’s salary, surely it can’t be that hard.
(Three days later and Jerry’s being re-instated into the Parks Department while Ben is searching for new clothes in Pawnee’s only menswear department store because he’s become so hated that even the local dry cleaners won’t service his ruined shirts.)
---
"So I think we’re finally done." He closes his binder, ready to ask her out for a celebratory drink.
"Done? For realsies? Does that mean we’re back?" She jumps out of her chair, already wrangling her bulky purse onto her shoulder.
Her sudden enthusiasm puts him a bit off guard and he forgets the words he’d practised last night while watching late night infomercials. "Well, you’ll be severely restricted in your duties but...."
Leslie isn’t around to hear what else he has to say, she’s already running down the hall yelling.
He smiles fondly after her and wonders when this woman got so under his skin.
(like what you see? watch this comm!)
Rating: PG
Character(s): Leslie/Ben (Parks and Recreation)
Spoilers: up to the S2 finale
Summary: She smiles fondly and Ben reflects that with her cheery personality and stubborn force of will she’s probably the most influential person Ben’s met in a long time.
Word Count: 1,000+
"Tom stays." Leslie says, adamantly slamming her palm on the table. This is only their third meeting and Ben is starting to wonder if she even knows how to negotiate. So far every concession he’s tried to make has been met with Leslie rigidly standing her ground, immobile like a two year old holding its breath.
He sighs.
"You know, yesterday I would have fought you, but Tom came to my hotel room with a slide-show of all his skills and I actually think it’s better for all of Pawnee if he remain under adult supervision."
"Yes, well I like to think I’ve had a good influence on him." She smiles fondly and Ben reflects that with her cheery personality and stubborn force of will she’s probably the most influential person Ben’s met in a long time.
(Even if she doesn’t understand the word ‘compromise’)
---
Ben’s tired, he missed lunch and he’s starting to get a headache behind his eyes. His only hope for surviving this day was if his next meeting was with someone who understood how to use their indoor voice.
Leslie’s voice isn’t exactly what he would call soothing, but after listening to her talk for a half hour, at least he’s able to open his eyes again.
(Of course, that could be due to the lights being shut off after three to save power.)
She takes a break to drink from her highly sugary juice bottle and he takes his chance to be heard. "I understand that you had your single greatest interaction with Donna in this office--"
She opens her mouth to elaborate but he holds up his hand to stop her from talking. They’d been at this long enough that he knew, even with his eyes still closed, that if he paused for longer than three seconds, she’d interrupt with another pitch.
"But trust me; she won’t be hurting if we move her to just three days a week. You know that she has three shares in the Snakehole Lounge? Or that she co-owns that nail salon she visits every week?"
"She does?"
"I’m pretty sure she works here to keep from being bored."
"Donna stays because she likes us?" Leslie’s grin is so wide he has to blink for a minute in case his headache comes back.
"Well, I’m sure the inflated government salary doesn’t hurt." He adds, dryly.
"Oh Benjy, that’s your problem." She places her hand on top of his. "You’re always thinking about dollars and cents. Donna thinks of us as her family." She looks up at him with her incredibly blue eyes. "How can we turn away family?"
In the end, he manages to give Donna half days, allowing her to get back to her real family at home in the afternoon and he has the sneaking suspicion that he’s being far more kind to Donna than to the city’s budget.
---
"Okay, now we’re on to April."
"That’s up to Ron. You can’t take away Ron’s moat. He gets all growly and destroys government property. He’s actually kept the same phone for three months since she started as his assistant. Surely that’s saving the department some money!" She throws her hands up in the air in what he strongly suspects is supposed to be a dramatic plea. Instead, he just pushes his donut across the table for her to devour, giving him a few seconds of silence.
(He’s not exactly sure why he even bought it today since he doesn’t even like chocolate dip. He’s more of a honey crueller man.)
While she eagerly licked her fingers after vanishing his donut in seconds, he looked over the dates for the many invoices for new electronics, considering Leslie’s point. "Hmm, he does seem oddly attached to her."
She gasped, as though struck by lightning. "You don’t think he’s her long lost father, do you?"
He sputters on his coffee. "What? Do you?"
"Well, I’ve met her parents and she looks like them."Her shoulders sag for the merest of moments before picking back up again. "But wouldn’t it be a great story for the Pawnee Gazette?"
He’s really trying to be polite, but sometimes he can’t help but gape a bit at Leslie when she has these epiphanies. She continues on, not noticing his disbelief.
She waves her hands in the air, spelling out an imaginary headline. "'The Parks Department reuniting father and daughter in the bond of municipal government!' Doesn’t it sound magical?"
It sounds a bit like a horror story to Ben, but he nods anyway. He places April’s file further back in his folder to deal with another day.
(He doesn’t touch Leslie’s cheek where she still has a smudge of chocolate at the corner of her mouth. That would be unprofessional.)
---
"Next item is Ann. What’s her capacity here. Is she a consultant?"
"Oh no, Ann’s my very bestest best friend." She holds out her wrist, showing a beaded bracelet as if it were a diamond chain or held the secrets to the meaning of life.
"Then why are you expensing lunches with her?"
"Oh, because she was complaining about all her late shifts at the hospital and having a bit of a rough time with Mark and since I couldn’t really do anything about that, I thought that at least I could give her a free lunch. Even if it is salad."
"Leslie, you can’t do that."
"But you didn’t see her face, Ben! How about I phone her and we can re-enact the situation?" She’s already got her phone out and with speed-dial she’s animatedly talking to the nurse Ben’s met briefly once before.
The whole meeting after is pretty much a write-off as Leslie never stops chatting with her friend. Ben slips out the door unnoticed, leaving a post-it note on Leslie’s desk reminding her that business lunches have to discuss actual business, not the results of last night’s Top Chef.
---
"Jerry only needs one more year until he qualifies for his full pension."
"We’d be offering him a settlement to retire early."
Leslie bites her lip and Ben begins to steel himself against her next attack.
"Okay. I think I can help talk him into that."
He winces before the meaning of her words sink in.
"Wait, just okay? You’re not going to fight me on this?"
"I guess I can see how it will help the budget."
Then Leslie flashes him a brilliant, almost devious smile. If he weren’t so charmed by her, he’d have noticed it for the warning sign it was.
"But we’d need someone else to fill the hummingbird feeders around the parks. It used to be his favourite job. Hey, how about I take you around and show you the ropes! It will be a great way to get familiar with our parks!"
He’s not sure how he just got stuck with hummingbird duty, it seems to be Leslie’s specialty to volunteer people without their consent, but if it saves the department Jerry’s salary, surely it can’t be that hard.
(Three days later and Jerry’s being re-instated into the Parks Department while Ben is searching for new clothes in Pawnee’s only menswear department store because he’s become so hated that even the local dry cleaners won’t service his ruined shirts.)
---
"So I think we’re finally done." He closes his binder, ready to ask her out for a celebratory drink.
"Done? For realsies? Does that mean we’re back?" She jumps out of her chair, already wrangling her bulky purse onto her shoulder.
Her sudden enthusiasm puts him a bit off guard and he forgets the words he’d practised last night while watching late night infomercials. "Well, you’ll be severely restricted in your duties but...."
Leslie isn’t around to hear what else he has to say, she’s already running down the hall yelling.
He smiles fondly after her and wonders when this woman got so under his skin.
(like what you see? watch this comm!)