Sondheim's complete Sweeney Todd lyrics (Part I)
Part II is here.
The Ballad of Sweeney Todd (Prologue)
Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd.
His skin was pale and his eye was odd.
He shaved the faces of gentlemen
Who never thereafter were heard of again.
He trod a path that few have trod,
Did Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
He kept a shop in London Town
Of fancy clients and good renown.
And what if none of their souls were saved?
They went to their
Maker impeccably shaved by Sweeny,
By Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Swing your razor wide, Sweeny,
Hold it to the skies!
Freely flows the blood of those who moralize.
His need were few, his room was bare:
a lavabo and a fancy chair,
A mug of suds and a leather strop,
An apron, a towel, a pail and a mop.
For neatness, he deserves a nod.
Does Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
Inconspicuous Sweeney was,
Quick and quiet and clean 'e was.
Back of his smile, under his word,
Sweeney heard music that nobody heard.
Sweeney pondered and Sweeny planned,
Like a perfect machine 'e planned
Sweeney was smooth, Sweeny was subtle,
Sweeney would blink and rats would scuttle.
Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney!
Sweeney!
Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd
He served a dark and a hungry god
What happened then, well that's the play,
And he wouldn't want us to give it away. Not Sweeney,
Not Sweeney Todd, The demon barber of Fleet Street.
No Place Like London
ANTHONY:
I have sailed the world
beheld its wonders
from the Dardanelles,
to the mountains of Peru,
But there's no place like London!
I feel home again...
I could hear the city bells ring...
Whatever would I do?
No there's...
TODD:
No place like London...
ANTHONY (spoken):
Mr. Todd, sir
TODD:
You are young...
Life has been kind to you...
You will learn.
(Spoken) 'Tis here we go our separate ways.
Farewell Antony.
I will not soon forget the good ship bountiful, nor the young man who saved my life.
ANTHONY (Spoken):
There's no cause to thank me for that, sir.
It would have been a poor Christian indeed who would have spotted you
pinching and tossing on that raft and not given the alarm.
TODD (Spoken):
There's many a Christian would've done just that and not lost a winks sleep over it either.
BEGGAR WOMAN (Sung):
Alms, alms for a miserable woman, on a miserable chilly mornin'!
Thank ya, sir, thank ya...
How would ya like a little muff,
dear a little jig-jig,
a little bounce around the bush!
Wouldn't ya like to push me parsley?
It looks to me, dear, that you've got plenty there to push!
Alms, alms for a pitiful woman...
what's got wandering wits?
Hey! Don't I know you, mister?
TODD:
Must you glare at me, woman?
Off with you!
Off I say!
BEGGAR WOMAN:
Then how would ya like to split me muff?
Mister, we'll go jig-jig!
A little...
TODD:
Off I said!
To the devil with you!
BEGGAR WOMAN:
Alms, alms for a pitiful woman!
ANTHONY (Spoken):
Pardon me, sir, but there's no need to fear the likes of her,
she's only a half-crazed beggar woman...
London's full of them.
TODD (spoken):
I beg your indulgence, boy, my mind is far from easy.
For in the once familiar streets I feel a chill of ghostly shadows everywhere.
Forgive me.
ANTHONY (spoken):
There is nothing to forgive.
TODD (spoken):
Farewell, Antony.
ANTHONY (spoken):
Mr. Todd, before we part...
TODD (spoken):
What is it?
ANTHONY (spoken):
I have honored my promise never to question you.
Whatever brought you to that sorry shipwreck is your affair and yet, over
many weeks of our voyage home,
I've come to think of you as a friend,
and if trouble lies ahead for you in London, if you
need any help...or money.
TODD:
(spoken)
No!
(sung)
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
and the vermin of the world inhabit it
and its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit
and it goes by the name of London.
At the top of the hole sit the privileged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lonely zoo
turning beauty to filth and greed...
I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders,
for the cruelty of men is as wondrous as Peru
but there's no place like London!
The Barber and His Wife
TODD:
There was a barber and his wife
and she was beautiful...
a foolish barber and his wife.
She was his reason and his life...
and she was beautiful, and she was virtuous.
And he was naive.
There was another man who saw
that she was beautiful...
A pious vulture of the law
who, with a gesture of his claw
removed the barber from his plate!
And there was nothing but to wait!
And she would fall!
So soft!
So young!
So lost and oh so beautiful!
ANTHONY (spoken):
The lady, sir...did she succumb?
TODD (sung):
Ah, that was many years ago...
I doubt if anyone would know.
(spoken)
Now leave me, Antony.
There is somewhere I must go,
something i must find out.
Now, and alone.
ANTHONY (spoken):
But surely we will meet again before I am off to Plymouth?
TODD (spoken):
If you want you may well find me around Fleet Street. I wouldn't wander.
(sung)
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
and it's filled with people who are filled with shit!
And the vermin of the world inhabit it!
The Worst Pies in London
MRS. LOVETT:
(spoken) A customer!
Wait!
What's your rush? What's your hurry?
You gave me such a --
Fright, I thought you was a ghost!
Half a minute, can'tcher sit!
Sit you down, sit!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks!
Did you come here for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if me head's a little vague --
Ugh! What is that?
But you think we had the plague!
From the way that people
Keep avoiding --
No you don't!
Heaven knows I try, sir!
Ick!
But there's no one comes in even to inhale!
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you, I can't hardly blame them!
These are probably the worst pies in London!
I know why nobody cares to take them,
I should know,
I make them,
But good? No!
The worst pies in London,
Even that's polite!
The worst pies in London,
If you doubt it, take a bite!
Is that just disgusting?
You have to concede it!
It's nothing but crusting!
Here, drink this, you'll need it!
The worst pies in London...
And no wonder with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
Never
Thought I'd live to see the day
Men'd think it was a treat
Findin' poor
Animals
Wot are dyin' in the street!
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop!
Does a business but I notice something weird.
Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared!
Have to hand it to her --
Wot I calls
Enterprise
Poppin' pussies into pies!
Wouldn't do in my shop!
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick!
And I'm tellin' you, them pussycats is quick!
No denying times is hard, sir
Even harder than the worst pies in London!
Only lard and nothing more --
Is that just revolting,
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like it's molting,
And tastes like,
Well, pity
A woman alone,
With limited wind,
And the worst pies in London!
Ah, sir, times is hard,
Times is hard!
Poor Thing
MRS. LOVETT:
There was a barber and his wife,
And he was beautiful
A proper artist with a knife,
But they transported him for life.
And he was beautiful...
(spoken) Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker.
TODD: What was his crime?
LOVETT: Foolishness.
He had this wife, y'see,
Pretty little thing,
Silly little nit,
Had her chance for the moon on a string.
Poor thing.
Poor thing.
There were these two, y'see,
Wanted her like mad,
One of 'em a judge, t'other one his beadle!
Every day they'd nudge and they'd wheedle!
But she wouldn't budge from her needle!
Too bad,
Pure thing.
So they merely shipped the poor blighter off south, they did,
Leavin' 'er with nothing but grief and a year-old kid!
Did she use her head even then? Oh no, God forbid!
Poor fool!
Ah, but there was worse yet to come, poor thing...
(spoken) Johanna... That was the baby's name, pretty little Johanna.
TODD: Go on.
LOVETT: My, you do like a good story, don't you?
Well, Beadle calls on her all polite,
Poor thing,
Poor thing!
The judge, he tells her, is all contrite,
He blames himself for her dreadful plight,
She must come straight to his house tonight,
Poor thing,
Poor thing!
Of course when she goes there, poor thing, poor thing,
They're 'avin' this ball all in masks!
There's no one she knows there, poor dear, poor thing!
She wanders tormented and drinks, poor thing!
The judge has repented, she thinks, poor thing!
'Oh, where is Judge Turpin,' she asks...
'E was there alright,
Only not so contrite!
She wasn't no match for such craft, y'see,
And everyone thought it so droll.
They figured she had to be daft, y'see,
So all of them stood there and laughed, y'see!
Poor soul!
Poor thing!
My Friends
TODD:
These are my friends,
See how they glisten.
See this one shine,
How he smiles in the light,
My friends,
My faithful friends...
Speak to me, friend.
Whisper, I'll listen.
I know, I know
You've been locked out of sight
All these years!
Like me, my friend!
Well, I've come home
To find you waiting!
Home,
And we're together...
And we'll do wonders...
Won't we...?
[Simultaneously, for rest of song]
TODD:
You there, my friend,
Come, let me hold you.
Now, with a sigh,
You grow warm
In my hand...
My friend,
My clever friend...
LOVETT:
I'm your friend too, Mr. Todd.
If you only knew, Mr. Todd.
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
You're warm
In my hand...
You've come home...
Always had a fondness for you,
I did.
TODD:
Rest now, my friends.
Soon I'll unfold you.
Soon you'll know splendors
You never have dreamed
All your days,
My lucky friends.
Till now your shine
Was merely silver.
Friends,
You shall drip rubies,
You'll soon drip precious
Rubies...
LOVETT:
Never you fear, Mr. Todd.
You can move in here
Mr. Todd. Splendors
You never have dreamed
All your days
Will be yours!
I'm your friend,
And you're mine!
Don't they shine beautiful?
Silver's good enough for me,
Mr. T...
Ballad of Sweeney Todd (Reprise)
Lift your razor high!
Sweeney!
Hear it singing!
Yes!
Stick it in the rosy skin of righteousness!
His voice was soft, his manner mild.
He seldom laughed but he often smiled.
He'd seen how civilized men behaved.
He never forgot
and he never forgave.
Not Sweeney...
Not Sweeney Todd...
The Demon barber of Fleet Street
Green Finch and Linnet Bird
JOHANNA (Sings):
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
How can you jubilate,
Sitting in cages,
Never taking wing?
Outside the sky waits,
Beckoning, beckoning,
Just beyond the bars.
How can you remain,
Staring at the rain,
Maddened by the stars?
How is it you sing
Anything?
How is it you sing?
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
Whence comes this melody constantly flowing?
Is it rejoicing or merely halloing?
Are you discussing or fussing
Or simply dreaming?
Are you crowing?
Are you screaming?
Ringdove and robinet,
Is it for wages,
Singing to be sold?
Have you decided it's
Safer in cages,
Singing when you're told?
[ANTHONY enters. Instantly he sees her and stands transfixed by her beauty.]
My cage has many rooms,
Damask and dark.
Nothing there sings,
Not even my lark.
Larks never will, you know,
When they're captive.
Teach me to be more adaptive.
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Let me sing.
(She gazes into the middle distance disconsolately)
Ah, Miss
ANTHONY (Gazing at Johanna, sings softly):
I have sailed the world,
Beheld its wonders,
From the pearls of Spain
To the rubies of Tibet,
But not even in London
Have I seen such a wonder . . .
(Breathlessly)
Lady look at me look at me miss oh
Look at me please oh
Favor me favor me with your glance.
Ah, miss,
What do you what do you see off
There in those trees oh
Won't you give won't you give me a chance?
Who would sail to Spain
For all its wonders,
When in Kearney's Lane
Lies the greatest wonder yet?
Ah, miss,
Look at you look at you pale and
Ivory-skinned oh
Look at you looking so sad so queer.
Promise
Not to retreat to the darkness
Back of your window
Not till you not till you look down here.
Look at
[Simultaneously, for rest of song]
JOHANNA:
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Let me sing ...
ANTHONY:
Me!
Look at
Me!
Look at me ...
BEGGAR WOMAN:
Alms, Alms for a miserable woman.
Beg your pardon, it's you sir, thank you, thank you kindly.
ANTHONY (spoken):
One moment mother, perhaps you know whose house this is.
BEGGAR WOMAN:
(nervously) That, Oh, that's the gret Judge Turpin's house that is.
ANTHONY:
And the young lady who resides there?
BEGGAR WOMAN:
(increasingly nervous) Oh her? Well that's J-Johanna, His pretty little ward.
Oh but don't you go tresspassing there young man. Not if you value your hide.
Tamper there and it's a good wippin' for ya,
or any other yout' wif mischeif on 'is mind. (laughs)
(Sing-song) Hey, Oink sailor boy, want it's lovely harbored,
open me gate but don't get straight I see it lists to starboard
(laughs widly)
ANTHONY:
Off with you, OFF!
Johanna
ANTHONY:
I feel you, Johanna,
I feel you.
I was half convinced I'd waken,
Satisfied enough to dream you.
Happily I was mistaken,
Johanna.
I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.
[dialogue]
I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.
Do they think that walls could hide you?
Even now, I'm at your window.
I am in the dark beside you,
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair!
I feel you, Johanna,
And one day I'll steal you!
Til I'm with you then,
I'm with you there,
Sweetly buried in your yellow hair!
Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
TOBIAS:
Ladies and Gentlemen!
May I have your attention please?
Do you wake every morning in shame and despair
To discover your pillow is covered with hair
Wot ought not to be there?
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
From now on you can waken with ease.
You need never again have a worry or care,
I will show you a miracle marvelous rare,
Gentlemen, you are about to see something wot rose
From the dead!
On the top of my head.
Scarcely a month ago, gentlemen,
I was suddenly struck with a rare
Oriental disease.
Though the finest physicians in London were called,
I awakened one morning amazed and appalled
To discover with dread that my head was as bald
As a novice's knees!
I was dying of shame
Till a gentleman came,
An illustrious barber, Pirelli by name.
He gave me a liquid as precious as gold.
I rubbed it in daily like wot I was told,
And behold!
Less than thirty days old!
'Twas Pirelli's
Miracle elixir
That's what did the trick, sir,
True, sir, true.
Was it quick, sir?
Did it in a tick, sir,
Just like an elixir
Ought to do!
How about a bottle, mister?
Only costs a penny, guaranteed.
COMPANY:
Penny buys a bottle, I don't know
You don't need
Ah, let's go
TOBIAS:
Go ahead and tug, sir.
Go ahead, sir, harder.
Does Pirelli's
Stimulate the growth, sir?
You can have my oath, sir,
'Tis unique.
Rub a minute.
Stimulatin', in'it?
Soon you'll have to thin it
Once a week!
Gently dab it.
Gets to be a habit.
Soon there'll be enough, sir,
Somebody can grab it.
See that chap with
Hair like Shelley's?
You can tell 'e's
Used Pirelli's!
COMPANY:
Let me have a bottle,
Make that two!
LOVETT:
Pardon me, sir, what's that awful stink?
TODD:
Smells to me like piss and looks like ink.
TOBIAS:
Buy Pirelli's
Miracle elixir
Anything wot's slick, sir,
Soon sprouts curls.
Try Pirelli's
When they see how thick, sir,
You can have your pick, sir,
Of the girls!
See Pirelli's
Miracle elixir
Grow a little wick, sir,
Then some fuzz.
The Pirelli's
Soon'll make it thick, sir,
Like a good elixir
Always does!
Trust Pirelli's
If your hair is sick, sir,
Fix it in a nick, sir,
Don't look grim.
Just Pirelli's
Miracle elixir,
That'll do the trick, sir
COMPANY:
What about the money?
TOBIAS:
If you've got a kick, sir
COMPANY:
What about the money?
Where is this Pirelli?
Go and get Pirelli!
TOBIAS (Simultaneously as next COMPANY line):
Tell it to the mixer
Of the miracle elixir
If you've got a kick, sir,
COMPANY:
What about our money?
Where is this Pirelli?
The Contest
TODD:
Signore Pirelli, I am Mr.Sweeney Todd and I have serviced no kings,
Yet I'll wadger I can shave a cheek and pull and tooth
with ten times more dexterity than any street mounterbank! You see these Razors?
I lay them against five ounds you are no match for me.
PIRELLI:
You hear this foolish man? Watch and see how he will regret his folly.
TODD:
will Beadle Bamford be the judge?
BEADLE:
Gladly, as always, to oblige my friends and neighbors.
PIRELLI:
Ready?
TODD:
Ready.
PIRELLI:
To shave-a da face,
to pull-a da toot,
Require da grace
and not-a da brute
For if you slip and nick-a da skin,
you clip-a da chin
You rip-a da lip a bit
And dats-a da trut!
To shave-a da face
or even a part
Widout it-a smart
require da heart
it takes-a da art
I show you a chrt
I study-a starting in my yout!
To cut-a da hair
To trim-a da beard
To make-a da bristle
Clean as a whistle
dis is from early infancy
Da talent give to me
By God--------
It take-a da skill
It take-a da brians
It take-a da will
It take-a da Pains
It take-a da pace
It take-a da grace------
BEADLE:
The winner is Todd
PIRELLI:
Sir, I bow to a skill far defter than my own
BEADLE:
Mr.Todd. Strange, sir, but it seems your face is know to me
LOVETT:
Him? That's a laugh,
him being me uncle's cousin and arrived from Birmingham only yesterday.
TODD:
And yet already I have heard Beadle Bramford spoken of with great respect
BEADLE:
Well, sir, I try my best for my neighbors. In fleet street? Above your Pie shop, ma'am?
LOVETT:
That's it, sir
BEADLE:
Then Mr. Todd, you shall surely see me there before the week is out.
TODD:
You will be welcome, Beadle Bramford, and I guarantee to give you,
without a pennys charge, the closest shave you will evet know.
Ballad of Sweeney Todd: Sweeney pondered and Sweeney planned
Company:
Sweeney Pondered and Sweeney planned
like a perfect mahine'e planned
Barbing the hook, baiting the trap
Setting out for the Beadle to snap
Set a sort of a scene, 'e did
Laying the trail, showing the traces
letting it lead to higher places
SWEENEY.......
Wait
MRS. LOVETT:
Easy now,
Hush, love, hush,
Don't distress yourself,
What's your rush?
Keep your thoughts
Nice and lush,
Wait.
Hush, love, hush,
Think it through.
Once it bubbles, then
What's to do?
Watch it close.
Let it brew.
Wait.
I've been thinkin' flowers,
Maybe daisies,
To brighten up the room!
Don't you think some flowers,
Pretty daisies,
Might relieve the gloom?
Ah, wait,
Love, wait.
TODD: (spoken) And the judge? When will I get to him?
LOVETT:
Can't you think of nothin' else?
Always broodin' away on your wrongs
what happened heaven knows how many years ago!
Slow, love, slow.
Time's so fast.
Now goes quickly, see
Now it's past!
Soon will come,
Soon will last.
Wait.
Don't you know,
Silly man?
Half the fun is to
Plan the plan!
All good things
Come to those who can
Wait.
Gillyflowers, maybe,
'Stead of daisies...
I dunno though...
What do you think?
Johanna 2
JUDGE:
Mea culpa, mea culpa
mea maxima culpa
Mea maxima maxima culpa!
God deliever me! Release me!
Forgive me! Restrain me! Pervade me!
Johanna Johanna
so suddenly a woman,
The light behind your window---
It penetrates your gown,
Johanna Johanna
The sun---I see the sun through your--
No!
God!
Deliver me! Deliver me!
Down!
Down.
Down.....
Johanna Johanna
I watch you from the shadows.
You sigh before your window
and gaze upon the town
Your lips part Johanna
SO young and soft and beautiful----
God!
Deliver me!
Filth.
Leave me!
Johanna Johanna
I treasured you in innocence
And loved you like a daughter
You mock me, Johanna
You tempt me with your innocence
You tempt with those quivering---
No!
God!
Deliver me!
It will---
Stop---
Now! It will---
Stop---
right.
now.
right
now.
Right
now...
Johanna, Johanna
I cannot keep you longer
The world is at your window
you want to fly away
You stir me, Johanna
SO suddenly a woman
I cannot watch you one more day---
God!
Deliver me!
God!
Deliver me!
God!
Deliver----!
GOD!!
Johanna, Johanna
I'll keep you here forever
I'll wed on the morrow
JOhanna JOhanna
The world will never touch you
I'll wed you on the morrow
As years pass, johanna
You'll tend me in my solitude
No longer as my daughter
as a woman
Johanna Johanna
I'll hold you here forever then
You'll keep away from windows and
You'll
Deliver me.
Johanna.
From this
hot
red
devil
With your
Soft
white
cool
Virgin
palms.
Kiss Me
JOHANNA (counterpoint with ANTHONY):
He means to marry me Monday
What should I do?
I'd rather die
ANTHONY (counterpoint with JOHANNA):
I have a plan
JOHANNA:
I'll swallow poison on Sunday
That's what I'll do
I'll get some lye
ANTHONY:
I have a plan!
JOHANNA:
Oh, dear! Was that a noise?
ANTHONY:
A plan!
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a noise!
ANTHONY:
A plan!
JOHANNA:
It couldn't be!
He's in court,
He's in court today,
Still that was a noise...
Wasn't that a noise?
You must have heard that -
ANTHONY:
Kiss me!
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir!
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss!
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir!
If he should marry me Monday,
What shall I do?
I'll die of grief.
ANTHONY:
We fly tonight -
JOHANNA:
'Tis Friday, virtually Sunday,
What can we do with time so brief?
ANTHONY:
We fly tonight -
JOHANNA:
Behind the curtain, quick!
ANTHONY:
Tonight -
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a click!
ANTHONY:
Tonight!
JOHANNA:
It was a gate!
It's the gate!
We don't have a gate.
Still there was a - Wait!
There's another click!
You must have heard that -
ANTHONY:
It's not a gate.
There's no gate,
You don't have a gate.
If you'd only listen miss and...
Kiss me!
JOHANNA:
Tonight?
ANTHONY:
Kiss me!
JOHANNA:
You mean tonight?
ANTHONY:
The plan is made!
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir!
ANTHONY;
So kiss me!
JOHANNA:
I feel a fright!
ANTHONY:
Be not afraid!
JOHANNA:
Sir, I did
Love you even as I
Saw you, even as it
Did not matter that I
Did not know your name...
ANTHONY:
Tonight I'll steal you!
JOHANNA,
I'll steal you...
ANTHONY:
It's me you'll marry on Monday,
That's what you'll do!
JOHANNA:
And gladly, sir.
ANTHONY:
St. Dunstan's, noon.
JOHANNA:
I knew I'd be with you one day,
Even not knowing who you were.
I feared you'd never come,
That you'd been called away,
That you'd been killed,
Had the plague,
Were in debtor's jail,
Trampled by a horse,
Gone to sea again,
Arrested by the -
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
ANTHONY:
Of course!
JOHANNA:
Quickly!
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss!
Marry me! Marry me miss!
Oh, marry me Monday!
Favor me! Favor me
With your hand!
Promise!
Marry me! Marry me, please!
Oh, marry me Monday -
ANTHONY:
You're sure?
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
ANTHONY:
I shall!
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
Oh, sir...
Ladies and their Sensibilities
JUDGE (spoken):
Walk home with me,
For I have news for you.
In order to shield her from the evils of this world,
I have decided to marry Johanna next Monday.
BEADLE (spoken):
Ah, sir!
Happy news, indeed!
JUDGE (spoken):
Strange...
When I offered myself to her,
She showed a certain reluctance.
BEADLE (sung):
Excuse me, my lord
May I request, my lord
Permission, my lord
To speak?
Forgive me, my lord
If I suggest, my lord
You're looking not your best, my lord
There's powder upon your vest, my lord
And stubble upon your cheek
And ladies, my lord, are weak.
JUDGE (spoken):
Perhaps!
If she greets me cordially upon my return,
I shall give her a small gift!
BEADLE:
Ladies and their sensitivities, my lord!
Have a fragile sensibility.
When a girl's emergent,
Probably, it's urgent,
You refer to her gentility, my lord!
Personal disorder cannot be ignored
Given their gentile proclivities,
Meaning no offenses
It happens they resense it
Ladies and their sensitivities, my lord!
JUDGE (spoken):
Stubble, you say?
Perhaps at times I am a little over-hasty with my morning ablutions,
BEADLE:
Fret not though, my lord!
I know a place, my lord
A barber, my lord, of skill!
Thus armed with a shaven face, my lord
Some older cologne to brace, my lord
And musk to enhance the chase, my lord
You'll dazzle the girl until...
JUDGE (spoken):
Until?
BEADLE:
She bows to your every will.
JUDGE (spoken):
Perhaps you may be right!
Take me to him!
Pretty Women
Pretty women
Fascinating...
Sipping coffee,
Dancing... pretty women
Pretty women
Are a wonder.
Pretty women!
Sitting in the window or
Standing on the stair
Something in them cheers the air.
Pretty women
Silhouetted...
Stay within you,
Glancing... stay forever,
Breathing lightly...
Pretty women,
Pretty women!
Blowing out their candles or
Combing out their hair,
Even when they leave
They still are there.
They're there
Ah! Pretty women, at their mirrors,
In their gardens,
Letter-writing,
Flower-picking,
Weather-watching.
How they make a man sing!
Proof of heaven as you're living,
Pretty women! Yes, pretty women!
Here's to pretty women,
Pretty women,
Pretty women,
Pretty women
Epiphany
I had him!
His throat was there beneath my hand.
No, I had him!
His throat was there and now he'll never come again.
Mrs. Lovett: Easy now, hush love hush
I keep telling you, Whats your rush?
Todd: When? Why did I wait?
You told me to wait -
Now he'll never come again.
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it.
But not for long...
They all deserve to die.
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because in all of the whole human race
Mrs. Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two
There's the one staying put in his proper place
And the one with his foot in the other one's face
Look at me, Mrs Lovett, look at you.
No, we all deserve to die
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief
For the rest of us death will be a relief
We all deserve to die.
And I'll never see Johanna
No I'll never hug my girl to me - finished!
Alright! You sir, you sir, how about a shave?
Come and visit your good friend Sweeney.
You sir, too sir? Welcome to the grave.
I will have vengenance.
I will have salvation.
Who sir, you sir?
No ones in the chair, Come on! Come on!
Sweeney's. waiting. I want you bleeders.
You sir! Anybody!
Gentlemen now don't be shy!
Not one man, no, nor ten men.
Nor a hundred can assuage me.
I will have you!
And I will get him back even as he gloats
In the meantime I'll practice on less honorable throats.
And my Lucy lies in ashes
And I'll never see my girl again.
But the work waits!
I'm alive at last!
And I'm full of joy!
Part II is here.
The Ballad of Sweeney Todd (Prologue)
Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd.
His skin was pale and his eye was odd.
He shaved the faces of gentlemen
Who never thereafter were heard of again.
He trod a path that few have trod,
Did Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
He kept a shop in London Town
Of fancy clients and good renown.
And what if none of their souls were saved?
They went to their
Maker impeccably shaved by Sweeny,
By Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Swing your razor wide, Sweeny,
Hold it to the skies!
Freely flows the blood of those who moralize.
His need were few, his room was bare:
a lavabo and a fancy chair,
A mug of suds and a leather strop,
An apron, a towel, a pail and a mop.
For neatness, he deserves a nod.
Does Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
Inconspicuous Sweeney was,
Quick and quiet and clean 'e was.
Back of his smile, under his word,
Sweeney heard music that nobody heard.
Sweeney pondered and Sweeny planned,
Like a perfect machine 'e planned
Sweeney was smooth, Sweeny was subtle,
Sweeney would blink and rats would scuttle.
Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney!
Sweeney!
Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd
He served a dark and a hungry god
What happened then, well that's the play,
And he wouldn't want us to give it away. Not Sweeney,
Not Sweeney Todd, The demon barber of Fleet Street.
No Place Like London
ANTHONY:
I have sailed the world
beheld its wonders
from the Dardanelles,
to the mountains of Peru,
But there's no place like London!
I feel home again...
I could hear the city bells ring...
Whatever would I do?
No there's...
TODD:
No place like London...
ANTHONY (spoken):
Mr. Todd, sir
TODD:
You are young...
Life has been kind to you...
You will learn.
(Spoken) 'Tis here we go our separate ways.
Farewell Antony.
I will not soon forget the good ship bountiful, nor the young man who saved my life.
ANTHONY (Spoken):
There's no cause to thank me for that, sir.
It would have been a poor Christian indeed who would have spotted you
pinching and tossing on that raft and not given the alarm.
TODD (Spoken):
There's many a Christian would've done just that and not lost a winks sleep over it either.
BEGGAR WOMAN (Sung):
Alms, alms for a miserable woman, on a miserable chilly mornin'!
Thank ya, sir, thank ya...
How would ya like a little muff,
dear a little jig-jig,
a little bounce around the bush!
Wouldn't ya like to push me parsley?
It looks to me, dear, that you've got plenty there to push!
Alms, alms for a pitiful woman...
what's got wandering wits?
Hey! Don't I know you, mister?
TODD:
Must you glare at me, woman?
Off with you!
Off I say!
BEGGAR WOMAN:
Then how would ya like to split me muff?
Mister, we'll go jig-jig!
A little...
TODD:
Off I said!
To the devil with you!
BEGGAR WOMAN:
Alms, alms for a pitiful woman!
ANTHONY (Spoken):
Pardon me, sir, but there's no need to fear the likes of her,
she's only a half-crazed beggar woman...
London's full of them.
TODD (spoken):
I beg your indulgence, boy, my mind is far from easy.
For in the once familiar streets I feel a chill of ghostly shadows everywhere.
Forgive me.
ANTHONY (spoken):
There is nothing to forgive.
TODD (spoken):
Farewell, Antony.
ANTHONY (spoken):
Mr. Todd, before we part...
TODD (spoken):
What is it?
ANTHONY (spoken):
I have honored my promise never to question you.
Whatever brought you to that sorry shipwreck is your affair and yet, over
many weeks of our voyage home,
I've come to think of you as a friend,
and if trouble lies ahead for you in London, if you
need any help...or money.
TODD:
(spoken)
No!
(sung)
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
and the vermin of the world inhabit it
and its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit
and it goes by the name of London.
At the top of the hole sit the privileged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lonely zoo
turning beauty to filth and greed...
I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders,
for the cruelty of men is as wondrous as Peru
but there's no place like London!
The Barber and His Wife
TODD:
There was a barber and his wife
and she was beautiful...
a foolish barber and his wife.
She was his reason and his life...
and she was beautiful, and she was virtuous.
And he was naive.
There was another man who saw
that she was beautiful...
A pious vulture of the law
who, with a gesture of his claw
removed the barber from his plate!
And there was nothing but to wait!
And she would fall!
So soft!
So young!
So lost and oh so beautiful!
ANTHONY (spoken):
The lady, sir...did she succumb?
TODD (sung):
Ah, that was many years ago...
I doubt if anyone would know.
(spoken)
Now leave me, Antony.
There is somewhere I must go,
something i must find out.
Now, and alone.
ANTHONY (spoken):
But surely we will meet again before I am off to Plymouth?
TODD (spoken):
If you want you may well find me around Fleet Street. I wouldn't wander.
(sung)
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
and it's filled with people who are filled with shit!
And the vermin of the world inhabit it!
The Worst Pies in London
MRS. LOVETT:
(spoken) A customer!
Wait!
What's your rush? What's your hurry?
You gave me such a --
Fright, I thought you was a ghost!
Half a minute, can'tcher sit!
Sit you down, sit!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks!
Did you come here for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if me head's a little vague --
Ugh! What is that?
But you think we had the plague!
From the way that people
Keep avoiding --
No you don't!
Heaven knows I try, sir!
Ick!
But there's no one comes in even to inhale!
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you, I can't hardly blame them!
These are probably the worst pies in London!
I know why nobody cares to take them,
I should know,
I make them,
But good? No!
The worst pies in London,
Even that's polite!
The worst pies in London,
If you doubt it, take a bite!
Is that just disgusting?
You have to concede it!
It's nothing but crusting!
Here, drink this, you'll need it!
The worst pies in London...
And no wonder with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
Never
Thought I'd live to see the day
Men'd think it was a treat
Findin' poor
Animals
Wot are dyin' in the street!
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop!
Does a business but I notice something weird.
Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared!
Have to hand it to her --
Wot I calls
Enterprise
Poppin' pussies into pies!
Wouldn't do in my shop!
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick!
And I'm tellin' you, them pussycats is quick!
No denying times is hard, sir
Even harder than the worst pies in London!
Only lard and nothing more --
Is that just revolting,
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like it's molting,
And tastes like,
Well, pity
A woman alone,
With limited wind,
And the worst pies in London!
Ah, sir, times is hard,
Times is hard!
Poor Thing
MRS. LOVETT:
There was a barber and his wife,
And he was beautiful
A proper artist with a knife,
But they transported him for life.
And he was beautiful...
(spoken) Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker.
TODD: What was his crime?
LOVETT: Foolishness.
He had this wife, y'see,
Pretty little thing,
Silly little nit,
Had her chance for the moon on a string.
Poor thing.
Poor thing.
There were these two, y'see,
Wanted her like mad,
One of 'em a judge, t'other one his beadle!
Every day they'd nudge and they'd wheedle!
But she wouldn't budge from her needle!
Too bad,
Pure thing.
So they merely shipped the poor blighter off south, they did,
Leavin' 'er with nothing but grief and a year-old kid!
Did she use her head even then? Oh no, God forbid!
Poor fool!
Ah, but there was worse yet to come, poor thing...
(spoken) Johanna... That was the baby's name, pretty little Johanna.
TODD: Go on.
LOVETT: My, you do like a good story, don't you?
Well, Beadle calls on her all polite,
Poor thing,
Poor thing!
The judge, he tells her, is all contrite,
He blames himself for her dreadful plight,
She must come straight to his house tonight,
Poor thing,
Poor thing!
Of course when she goes there, poor thing, poor thing,
They're 'avin' this ball all in masks!
There's no one she knows there, poor dear, poor thing!
She wanders tormented and drinks, poor thing!
The judge has repented, she thinks, poor thing!
'Oh, where is Judge Turpin,' she asks...
'E was there alright,
Only not so contrite!
She wasn't no match for such craft, y'see,
And everyone thought it so droll.
They figured she had to be daft, y'see,
So all of them stood there and laughed, y'see!
Poor soul!
Poor thing!
My Friends
TODD:
These are my friends,
See how they glisten.
See this one shine,
How he smiles in the light,
My friends,
My faithful friends...
Speak to me, friend.
Whisper, I'll listen.
I know, I know
You've been locked out of sight
All these years!
Like me, my friend!
Well, I've come home
To find you waiting!
Home,
And we're together...
And we'll do wonders...
Won't we...?
[Simultaneously, for rest of song]
TODD:
You there, my friend,
Come, let me hold you.
Now, with a sigh,
You grow warm
In my hand...
My friend,
My clever friend...
LOVETT:
I'm your friend too, Mr. Todd.
If you only knew, Mr. Todd.
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
You're warm
In my hand...
You've come home...
Always had a fondness for you,
I did.
TODD:
Rest now, my friends.
Soon I'll unfold you.
Soon you'll know splendors
You never have dreamed
All your days,
My lucky friends.
Till now your shine
Was merely silver.
Friends,
You shall drip rubies,
You'll soon drip precious
Rubies...
LOVETT:
Never you fear, Mr. Todd.
You can move in here
Mr. Todd. Splendors
You never have dreamed
All your days
Will be yours!
I'm your friend,
And you're mine!
Don't they shine beautiful?
Silver's good enough for me,
Mr. T...
Ballad of Sweeney Todd (Reprise)
Lift your razor high!
Sweeney!
Hear it singing!
Yes!
Stick it in the rosy skin of righteousness!
His voice was soft, his manner mild.
He seldom laughed but he often smiled.
He'd seen how civilized men behaved.
He never forgot
and he never forgave.
Not Sweeney...
Not Sweeney Todd...
The Demon barber of Fleet Street
Green Finch and Linnet Bird
JOHANNA (Sings):
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
How can you jubilate,
Sitting in cages,
Never taking wing?
Outside the sky waits,
Beckoning, beckoning,
Just beyond the bars.
How can you remain,
Staring at the rain,
Maddened by the stars?
How is it you sing
Anything?
How is it you sing?
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
Whence comes this melody constantly flowing?
Is it rejoicing or merely halloing?
Are you discussing or fussing
Or simply dreaming?
Are you crowing?
Are you screaming?
Ringdove and robinet,
Is it for wages,
Singing to be sold?
Have you decided it's
Safer in cages,
Singing when you're told?
[ANTHONY enters. Instantly he sees her and stands transfixed by her beauty.]
My cage has many rooms,
Damask and dark.
Nothing there sings,
Not even my lark.
Larks never will, you know,
When they're captive.
Teach me to be more adaptive.
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Let me sing.
(She gazes into the middle distance disconsolately)
Ah, Miss
ANTHONY (Gazing at Johanna, sings softly):
I have sailed the world,
Beheld its wonders,
From the pearls of Spain
To the rubies of Tibet,
But not even in London
Have I seen such a wonder . . .
(Breathlessly)
Lady look at me look at me miss oh
Look at me please oh
Favor me favor me with your glance.
Ah, miss,
What do you what do you see off
There in those trees oh
Won't you give won't you give me a chance?
Who would sail to Spain
For all its wonders,
When in Kearney's Lane
Lies the greatest wonder yet?
Ah, miss,
Look at you look at you pale and
Ivory-skinned oh
Look at you looking so sad so queer.
Promise
Not to retreat to the darkness
Back of your window
Not till you not till you look down here.
Look at
[Simultaneously, for rest of song]
JOHANNA:
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Let me sing ...
ANTHONY:
Me!
Look at
Me!
Look at me ...
BEGGAR WOMAN:
Alms, Alms for a miserable woman.
Beg your pardon, it's you sir, thank you, thank you kindly.
ANTHONY (spoken):
One moment mother, perhaps you know whose house this is.
BEGGAR WOMAN:
(nervously) That, Oh, that's the gret Judge Turpin's house that is.
ANTHONY:
And the young lady who resides there?
BEGGAR WOMAN:
(increasingly nervous) Oh her? Well that's J-Johanna, His pretty little ward.
Oh but don't you go tresspassing there young man. Not if you value your hide.
Tamper there and it's a good wippin' for ya,
or any other yout' wif mischeif on 'is mind. (laughs)
(Sing-song) Hey, Oink sailor boy, want it's lovely harbored,
open me gate but don't get straight I see it lists to starboard
(laughs widly)
ANTHONY:
Off with you, OFF!
Johanna
ANTHONY:
I feel you, Johanna,
I feel you.
I was half convinced I'd waken,
Satisfied enough to dream you.
Happily I was mistaken,
Johanna.
I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.
[dialogue]
I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.
Do they think that walls could hide you?
Even now, I'm at your window.
I am in the dark beside you,
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair!
I feel you, Johanna,
And one day I'll steal you!
Til I'm with you then,
I'm with you there,
Sweetly buried in your yellow hair!
Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
TOBIAS:
Ladies and Gentlemen!
May I have your attention please?
Do you wake every morning in shame and despair
To discover your pillow is covered with hair
Wot ought not to be there?
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
From now on you can waken with ease.
You need never again have a worry or care,
I will show you a miracle marvelous rare,
Gentlemen, you are about to see something wot rose
From the dead!
On the top of my head.
Scarcely a month ago, gentlemen,
I was suddenly struck with a rare
Oriental disease.
Though the finest physicians in London were called,
I awakened one morning amazed and appalled
To discover with dread that my head was as bald
As a novice's knees!
I was dying of shame
Till a gentleman came,
An illustrious barber, Pirelli by name.
He gave me a liquid as precious as gold.
I rubbed it in daily like wot I was told,
And behold!
Less than thirty days old!
'Twas Pirelli's
Miracle elixir
That's what did the trick, sir,
True, sir, true.
Was it quick, sir?
Did it in a tick, sir,
Just like an elixir
Ought to do!
How about a bottle, mister?
Only costs a penny, guaranteed.
COMPANY:
Penny buys a bottle, I don't know
You don't need
Ah, let's go
TOBIAS:
Go ahead and tug, sir.
Go ahead, sir, harder.
Does Pirelli's
Stimulate the growth, sir?
You can have my oath, sir,
'Tis unique.
Rub a minute.
Stimulatin', in'it?
Soon you'll have to thin it
Once a week!
Gently dab it.
Gets to be a habit.
Soon there'll be enough, sir,
Somebody can grab it.
See that chap with
Hair like Shelley's?
You can tell 'e's
Used Pirelli's!
COMPANY:
Let me have a bottle,
Make that two!
LOVETT:
Pardon me, sir, what's that awful stink?
TODD:
Smells to me like piss and looks like ink.
TOBIAS:
Buy Pirelli's
Miracle elixir
Anything wot's slick, sir,
Soon sprouts curls.
Try Pirelli's
When they see how thick, sir,
You can have your pick, sir,
Of the girls!
See Pirelli's
Miracle elixir
Grow a little wick, sir,
Then some fuzz.
The Pirelli's
Soon'll make it thick, sir,
Like a good elixir
Always does!
Trust Pirelli's
If your hair is sick, sir,
Fix it in a nick, sir,
Don't look grim.
Just Pirelli's
Miracle elixir,
That'll do the trick, sir
COMPANY:
What about the money?
TOBIAS:
If you've got a kick, sir
COMPANY:
What about the money?
Where is this Pirelli?
Go and get Pirelli!
TOBIAS (Simultaneously as next COMPANY line):
Tell it to the mixer
Of the miracle elixir
If you've got a kick, sir,
COMPANY:
What about our money?
Where is this Pirelli?
The Contest
TODD:
Signore Pirelli, I am Mr.Sweeney Todd and I have serviced no kings,
Yet I'll wadger I can shave a cheek and pull and tooth
with ten times more dexterity than any street mounterbank! You see these Razors?
I lay them against five ounds you are no match for me.
PIRELLI:
You hear this foolish man? Watch and see how he will regret his folly.
TODD:
will Beadle Bamford be the judge?
BEADLE:
Gladly, as always, to oblige my friends and neighbors.
PIRELLI:
Ready?
TODD:
Ready.
PIRELLI:
To shave-a da face,
to pull-a da toot,
Require da grace
and not-a da brute
For if you slip and nick-a da skin,
you clip-a da chin
You rip-a da lip a bit
And dats-a da trut!
To shave-a da face
or even a part
Widout it-a smart
require da heart
it takes-a da art
I show you a chrt
I study-a starting in my yout!
To cut-a da hair
To trim-a da beard
To make-a da bristle
Clean as a whistle
dis is from early infancy
Da talent give to me
By God--------
It take-a da skill
It take-a da brians
It take-a da will
It take-a da Pains
It take-a da pace
It take-a da grace------
BEADLE:
The winner is Todd
PIRELLI:
Sir, I bow to a skill far defter than my own
BEADLE:
Mr.Todd. Strange, sir, but it seems your face is know to me
LOVETT:
Him? That's a laugh,
him being me uncle's cousin and arrived from Birmingham only yesterday.
TODD:
And yet already I have heard Beadle Bramford spoken of with great respect
BEADLE:
Well, sir, I try my best for my neighbors. In fleet street? Above your Pie shop, ma'am?
LOVETT:
That's it, sir
BEADLE:
Then Mr. Todd, you shall surely see me there before the week is out.
TODD:
You will be welcome, Beadle Bramford, and I guarantee to give you,
without a pennys charge, the closest shave you will evet know.
Ballad of Sweeney Todd: Sweeney pondered and Sweeney planned
Company:
Sweeney Pondered and Sweeney planned
like a perfect mahine'e planned
Barbing the hook, baiting the trap
Setting out for the Beadle to snap
Set a sort of a scene, 'e did
Laying the trail, showing the traces
letting it lead to higher places
SWEENEY.......
Wait
MRS. LOVETT:
Easy now,
Hush, love, hush,
Don't distress yourself,
What's your rush?
Keep your thoughts
Nice and lush,
Wait.
Hush, love, hush,
Think it through.
Once it bubbles, then
What's to do?
Watch it close.
Let it brew.
Wait.
I've been thinkin' flowers,
Maybe daisies,
To brighten up the room!
Don't you think some flowers,
Pretty daisies,
Might relieve the gloom?
Ah, wait,
Love, wait.
TODD: (spoken) And the judge? When will I get to him?
LOVETT:
Can't you think of nothin' else?
Always broodin' away on your wrongs
what happened heaven knows how many years ago!
Slow, love, slow.
Time's so fast.
Now goes quickly, see
Now it's past!
Soon will come,
Soon will last.
Wait.
Don't you know,
Silly man?
Half the fun is to
Plan the plan!
All good things
Come to those who can
Wait.
Gillyflowers, maybe,
'Stead of daisies...
I dunno though...
What do you think?
Johanna 2
JUDGE:
Mea culpa, mea culpa
mea maxima culpa
Mea maxima maxima culpa!
God deliever me! Release me!
Forgive me! Restrain me! Pervade me!
Johanna Johanna
so suddenly a woman,
The light behind your window---
It penetrates your gown,
Johanna Johanna
The sun---I see the sun through your--
No!
God!
Deliver me! Deliver me!
Down!
Down.
Down.....
Johanna Johanna
I watch you from the shadows.
You sigh before your window
and gaze upon the town
Your lips part Johanna
SO young and soft and beautiful----
God!
Deliver me!
Filth.
Leave me!
Johanna Johanna
I treasured you in innocence
And loved you like a daughter
You mock me, Johanna
You tempt me with your innocence
You tempt with those quivering---
No!
God!
Deliver me!
It will---
Stop---
Now! It will---
Stop---
right.
now.
right
now.
Right
now...
Johanna, Johanna
I cannot keep you longer
The world is at your window
you want to fly away
You stir me, Johanna
SO suddenly a woman
I cannot watch you one more day---
God!
Deliver me!
God!
Deliver me!
God!
Deliver----!
GOD!!
Johanna, Johanna
I'll keep you here forever
I'll wed on the morrow
JOhanna JOhanna
The world will never touch you
I'll wed you on the morrow
As years pass, johanna
You'll tend me in my solitude
No longer as my daughter
as a woman
Johanna Johanna
I'll hold you here forever then
You'll keep away from windows and
You'll
Deliver me.
Johanna.
From this
hot
red
devil
With your
Soft
white
cool
Virgin
palms.
Kiss Me
JOHANNA (counterpoint with ANTHONY):
He means to marry me Monday
What should I do?
I'd rather die
ANTHONY (counterpoint with JOHANNA):
I have a plan
JOHANNA:
I'll swallow poison on Sunday
That's what I'll do
I'll get some lye
ANTHONY:
I have a plan!
JOHANNA:
Oh, dear! Was that a noise?
ANTHONY:
A plan!
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a noise!
ANTHONY:
A plan!
JOHANNA:
It couldn't be!
He's in court,
He's in court today,
Still that was a noise...
Wasn't that a noise?
You must have heard that -
ANTHONY:
Kiss me!
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir!
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss!
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir!
If he should marry me Monday,
What shall I do?
I'll die of grief.
ANTHONY:
We fly tonight -
JOHANNA:
'Tis Friday, virtually Sunday,
What can we do with time so brief?
ANTHONY:
We fly tonight -
JOHANNA:
Behind the curtain, quick!
ANTHONY:
Tonight -
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a click!
ANTHONY:
Tonight!
JOHANNA:
It was a gate!
It's the gate!
We don't have a gate.
Still there was a - Wait!
There's another click!
You must have heard that -
ANTHONY:
It's not a gate.
There's no gate,
You don't have a gate.
If you'd only listen miss and...
Kiss me!
JOHANNA:
Tonight?
ANTHONY:
Kiss me!
JOHANNA:
You mean tonight?
ANTHONY:
The plan is made!
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir!
ANTHONY;
So kiss me!
JOHANNA:
I feel a fright!
ANTHONY:
Be not afraid!
JOHANNA:
Sir, I did
Love you even as I
Saw you, even as it
Did not matter that I
Did not know your name...
ANTHONY:
Tonight I'll steal you!
JOHANNA,
I'll steal you...
ANTHONY:
It's me you'll marry on Monday,
That's what you'll do!
JOHANNA:
And gladly, sir.
ANTHONY:
St. Dunstan's, noon.
JOHANNA:
I knew I'd be with you one day,
Even not knowing who you were.
I feared you'd never come,
That you'd been called away,
That you'd been killed,
Had the plague,
Were in debtor's jail,
Trampled by a horse,
Gone to sea again,
Arrested by the -
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
ANTHONY:
Of course!
JOHANNA:
Quickly!
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss!
Marry me! Marry me miss!
Oh, marry me Monday!
Favor me! Favor me
With your hand!
Promise!
Marry me! Marry me, please!
Oh, marry me Monday -
ANTHONY:
You're sure?
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
ANTHONY:
I shall!
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
Oh, sir...
Ladies and their Sensibilities
JUDGE (spoken):
Walk home with me,
For I have news for you.
In order to shield her from the evils of this world,
I have decided to marry Johanna next Monday.
BEADLE (spoken):
Ah, sir!
Happy news, indeed!
JUDGE (spoken):
Strange...
When I offered myself to her,
She showed a certain reluctance.
BEADLE (sung):
Excuse me, my lord
May I request, my lord
Permission, my lord
To speak?
Forgive me, my lord
If I suggest, my lord
You're looking not your best, my lord
There's powder upon your vest, my lord
And stubble upon your cheek
And ladies, my lord, are weak.
JUDGE (spoken):
Perhaps!
If she greets me cordially upon my return,
I shall give her a small gift!
BEADLE:
Ladies and their sensitivities, my lord!
Have a fragile sensibility.
When a girl's emergent,
Probably, it's urgent,
You refer to her gentility, my lord!
Personal disorder cannot be ignored
Given their gentile proclivities,
Meaning no offenses
It happens they resense it
Ladies and their sensitivities, my lord!
JUDGE (spoken):
Stubble, you say?
Perhaps at times I am a little over-hasty with my morning ablutions,
BEADLE:
Fret not though, my lord!
I know a place, my lord
A barber, my lord, of skill!
Thus armed with a shaven face, my lord
Some older cologne to brace, my lord
And musk to enhance the chase, my lord
You'll dazzle the girl until...
JUDGE (spoken):
Until?
BEADLE:
She bows to your every will.
JUDGE (spoken):
Perhaps you may be right!
Take me to him!
Pretty Women
Pretty women
Fascinating...
Sipping coffee,
Dancing... pretty women
Pretty women
Are a wonder.
Pretty women!
Sitting in the window or
Standing on the stair
Something in them cheers the air.
Pretty women
Silhouetted...
Stay within you,
Glancing... stay forever,
Breathing lightly...
Pretty women,
Pretty women!
Blowing out their candles or
Combing out their hair,
Even when they leave
They still are there.
They're there
Ah! Pretty women, at their mirrors,
In their gardens,
Letter-writing,
Flower-picking,
Weather-watching.
How they make a man sing!
Proof of heaven as you're living,
Pretty women! Yes, pretty women!
Here's to pretty women,
Pretty women,
Pretty women,
Pretty women
Epiphany
I had him!
His throat was there beneath my hand.
No, I had him!
His throat was there and now he'll never come again.
Mrs. Lovett: Easy now, hush love hush
I keep telling you, Whats your rush?
Todd: When? Why did I wait?
You told me to wait -
Now he'll never come again.
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it.
But not for long...
They all deserve to die.
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because in all of the whole human race
Mrs. Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two
There's the one staying put in his proper place
And the one with his foot in the other one's face
Look at me, Mrs Lovett, look at you.
No, we all deserve to die
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief
For the rest of us death will be a relief
We all deserve to die.
And I'll never see Johanna
No I'll never hug my girl to me - finished!
Alright! You sir, you sir, how about a shave?
Come and visit your good friend Sweeney.
You sir, too sir? Welcome to the grave.
I will have vengenance.
I will have salvation.
Who sir, you sir?
No ones in the chair, Come on! Come on!
Sweeney's. waiting. I want you bleeders.
You sir! Anybody!
Gentlemen now don't be shy!
Not one man, no, nor ten men.
Nor a hundred can assuage me.
I will have you!
And I will get him back even as he gloats
In the meantime I'll practice on less honorable throats.
And my Lucy lies in ashes
And I'll never see my girl again.
But the work waits!
I'm alive at last!
And I'm full of joy!
Part II is here.