The Unquiet Past, part 2A
Well, I have skipped a number of writing opportunities that I shouldn't have, and I also went a little non-linear leaving some gaps in what I do have written. I do however have enough to post part 2A of The Unquiet Past. Which starts with a nightmare and then gives Doris a bit of a break (for now).
Disclaimer! "Caution! If you start a fanfic with a humorous disclaimer, people may well expect you to keep using humorous disclaimers!" "Hmm? Oh! You mean a 'someone else invented this universe' disclaimer? But I mentioned that in part 1. But it has been over two weeks. So listen up! Terinu is a really nifty webcomic with writing and art by chaypeta. Fun action in space, interesting characters, Australia as one of the major powers of the far future Earth, fox-like aliens including the ever nifty ace pilot Ru-Ofanius 'Rufus' Brushtail, an orphan with a mysterious past, a threat thought defeated... Well, why are you still here, go read it. Finished? Okay, then here is my contribution. These are not the characters from the comic, rather it's my own imagining of a corner of the vulpine homeworld. Can't stand a story with anthropomorphic foxes in it? Well fie on you. Oh, and jeriendhal first presented the Sharpears family in his Terinu prequel fanfic, in part 1 Doris was named Sharpear, obviously a failure on the part of the transciptionist. He has been chastened."
Ah, there. Thoroughly disclaimed, yes? Very well, The Unquiet Past part 2A under the cut.
The dream had changed again. Doris looked around the land now truly looked like Five Spring Valley. Some things hadn't changed. The snow still made that hideous crunching sound as she walked across it, footpads not stung by the snow nearly as much as they should with each step sinking deep.
Turn around! It's just a dream! Turn around, it isn't worth it!
Her dream self ignored her and continued on. A corner turned and she saw a crowd gathered ahead, singing and dancing, sharing winter food and drink. The anonymous faces took on features as well, just as the land itself had.
"Gran! Granmama! Come back!"
Lady Marissa Sharpears paused in conversation, first an ear then her head turning to Doris as the girl cried out.
"Don't leave me! Please!"
"Doris, why ever are you here. Your mother must be terribly worried. Be a good girl and go home."
"No! I love you! Don't go! You'll -"
It isn't real fool! That isn't her!
The two closest to Lady Marissa turned to give her bored looks. Their faces now those of Talli and Henry. The music taking on a change as well. A staccato drumming drowning out the other instruments.
"I say! What a rude child. You heard her. Run along girl."
Henry looked over her once before turning away, paying no more attention to her. "What do you say milady, I think this roasted kin goose is the best course yet. What do you imagine we'll get next?"
It's just a dream! Wake up! It's just a dream!
"Granmama!"
"Really Doris, can't you see I am busy? I will play with you when the important work is done."
"No! If you stay -"
Wake up damn you! WAKE UP!
"It's just a..." Jerking up, she found herself sitting in bed with only a light chill in the air and the rapid knocking remaining.
"Yes?" Ears drooping at the desperate pitch of her voice. "Oh... Oh, do go ahead and come in Nicol. I'm decent."
The door slid open to reveal Nicol with a small tray and tea service. "Morning tea, milady." Setting the tray on the bedside table.
"Thank you." A glance at the chronometer hanging on the wall showed a depressingly early time. "I fear I have cost you sleep again."
Nicol gave her the same look he always did when the dream would come and he would wake her. A touch of concern and a look of utter mystery at her apology. She even believed he was already awake the first few times.
"Always been an early riser, milady." Doris considered contradicting him for once, but before she could he was speaking again and then heading back out of the room. "Breakfast will be ready soon."
The rest of the morning was blessedly quieter. Only a few messages waited for her, including what looked to be an apology from Jagen, skipped in favor of the morning news bulletins. Little of interest was to be found there. Only the weather bulletin, with its promise of a dusting of snow, interesting her at all.
* * *
The opening ceremonies consisted largely, as all such seem fated to be, of a series of people speaking mostly a stream of the standard formalities. The comfortable feeling of such well worn pattern could have been comforting if Doris didn't know they were working their way up to her, to provide the final words of the opening. It felt like countless hours and much too soon as she found herself standing, looking out across the town square. Her eyes paused, finding Nicol speaking to a slightly older vixen with a clear family resemblance. Good, I did hope you would listen. Not simply wait at a distance to help. You've earned some rest, enjoy it.
Setting her notes down, she started on her mother's speech. It had been easy to hear her mother's voice in her ears as she reviewed the lines the past days. It almost felt like she was simply listening and repeating the words for the crowd. With little need to do more than occasionally glance at the pages. Sliding the second page to the side she paused. Looking down at the words, reading ahead, her mother's voice still seeming to whisper in her ears.
She stopped partway down the page, and looked up at the gathering. Everyone was still quiet, the quick moment of quiet reading not quite too long. No. I think this isn't what I need to say. Sliding the rest of the notes off to the side. Looking through the crowd once more. Whispers just catching her ears as she found Nicol again. She smiled at puzzled look on his face. I suppose I had best speak again before that becomes worry. You worry enough for us already.
"These are good words. Which my mother hoped to give to you herself. Mother has always been better at finding the right words. They always seen to scatter away when I try to find them. But however good they are, they are not my words and somehow it just doesn't feel right for me to use them."
Puzzlement had in fact given way to worry on Nicol's face, and no one else seemed any more sure what to make of what had said as she paused again. Closing her eyes trying to find the right words. "Why are we here? The Remembrance. The Remembrance of the life of Lady Samara Sharpears. Who fought to end the Dominion and returned to this, our home that was stolen from us for so long. Who survived the fighting and the Bloody Plagues that were released in a final childish tantrum, to end all if the Varn couldn't rule all. What lesson might she want us to learn?
"I think perhaps, the importance of family. There was no reason for her to think, after all that she survived, that finally arriving home she would only have twelve years left. Only twelve, dying so young for all she did.
"But if you look at those twelve years, she spent all she could with family. Politics, the rebuilding and restoration, they received their time. But her children, her relatives, there was little that could pull her away from them.
"Can we say the same? Will I be able to say the same when I return to the Holy Den Mother? We have no choice but to seek a balance, there is work that must be done, but when the day ends can we say we found the proper balance? It is perhaps easy for me now. Unmarried, no children, I can devote my time to service, putting education and will to work. Even that is a balance of time I suppose. But when I start a family, I pray that I will remember this lesson.
"I fear this perhaps isn't really so profound. But it is what I find myself thinking as I look back on my ancestor's life. It is good to have an example such as hers. Something to help us judge our own goals and progress. To think that my family sets such an example for others as well - it is a strange feeling at times."
And this is why I ought not do this. Plan your speeches from now on! Thankfully the crowd did not seem as puzzled by this final pause. Or perhaps it simply felt longer than it was. She gave the crowd a shy smile. "Thank you for indulging me in my first time speaking before a group this size. Never fear, my mother's words will be available on the town news net this evening."
* * *
In the gathering afterwards Doris eyed Jagen cautiously as he approached. "Believe me Miss Sharpears, it was a better speech than you feared."
Doris lifted a single brow. "Miss Sharpears? Really now Jagen, you stuck your tail in your mouth, it is simply one of your endearing yet tiring traits. But calling me Miss Sharpears? Next that paw behind your back will have flowers."
He did at least have the decency to look embarrassed as he brought out a pair of ice blue flowers. "Heh. Well, actually my man is quiet good at finding things. With no reply to the apology I sent last night, I simply said I needed some flowers as beautiful as your eyes and before I knew it they were at hand."
"I see, well be sure to tell him that his apology is accepted."
"I truly didn't mean to upset... You're smiling again. That was, you actually told a joke, didn't you."
"Do not think it means you are off the hook Jagen. However, you are one of my oldest friends. I will let you work for your forgiveness. I expect you to join me at the school tomorrow. You can help me with all the cubs."
"Certainly. I can provide the littlest with something more exciting to climb and stare down any who look too worshipful of my date."
"Your date? Are you looking to make your servant apologize for you again?"
"Surely my lady jests. It will be perfect. A tour of their gardens, lunch in a cafeteria that has customers lining up for it daily, and a reserved seat at a one day only play."
Henry smiled to Talli off to the side. "Well, listen to that laugh. I always do like being wrong about trouble starting."
Disclaimer! "Caution! If you start a fanfic with a humorous disclaimer, people may well expect you to keep using humorous disclaimers!" "Hmm? Oh! You mean a 'someone else invented this universe' disclaimer? But I mentioned that in part 1. But it has been over two weeks. So listen up! Terinu is a really nifty webcomic with writing and art by chaypeta. Fun action in space, interesting characters, Australia as one of the major powers of the far future Earth, fox-like aliens including the ever nifty ace pilot Ru-Ofanius 'Rufus' Brushtail, an orphan with a mysterious past, a threat thought defeated... Well, why are you still here, go read it. Finished? Okay, then here is my contribution. These are not the characters from the comic, rather it's my own imagining of a corner of the vulpine homeworld. Can't stand a story with anthropomorphic foxes in it? Well fie on you. Oh, and jeriendhal first presented the Sharpears family in his Terinu prequel fanfic, in part 1 Doris was named Sharpear, obviously a failure on the part of the transciptionist. He has been chastened."
Ah, there. Thoroughly disclaimed, yes? Very well, The Unquiet Past part 2A under the cut.
The dream had changed again. Doris looked around the land now truly looked like Five Spring Valley. Some things hadn't changed. The snow still made that hideous crunching sound as she walked across it, footpads not stung by the snow nearly as much as they should with each step sinking deep.
Turn around! It's just a dream! Turn around, it isn't worth it!
Her dream self ignored her and continued on. A corner turned and she saw a crowd gathered ahead, singing and dancing, sharing winter food and drink. The anonymous faces took on features as well, just as the land itself had.
"Gran! Granmama! Come back!"
Lady Marissa Sharpears paused in conversation, first an ear then her head turning to Doris as the girl cried out.
"Don't leave me! Please!"
"Doris, why ever are you here. Your mother must be terribly worried. Be a good girl and go home."
"No! I love you! Don't go! You'll -"
It isn't real fool! That isn't her!
The two closest to Lady Marissa turned to give her bored looks. Their faces now those of Talli and Henry. The music taking on a change as well. A staccato drumming drowning out the other instruments.
"I say! What a rude child. You heard her. Run along girl."
Henry looked over her once before turning away, paying no more attention to her. "What do you say milady, I think this roasted kin goose is the best course yet. What do you imagine we'll get next?"
It's just a dream! Wake up! It's just a dream!
"Granmama!"
"Really Doris, can't you see I am busy? I will play with you when the important work is done."
"No! If you stay -"
Wake up damn you! WAKE UP!
"It's just a..." Jerking up, she found herself sitting in bed with only a light chill in the air and the rapid knocking remaining.
"Yes?" Ears drooping at the desperate pitch of her voice. "Oh... Oh, do go ahead and come in Nicol. I'm decent."
The door slid open to reveal Nicol with a small tray and tea service. "Morning tea, milady." Setting the tray on the bedside table.
"Thank you." A glance at the chronometer hanging on the wall showed a depressingly early time. "I fear I have cost you sleep again."
Nicol gave her the same look he always did when the dream would come and he would wake her. A touch of concern and a look of utter mystery at her apology. She even believed he was already awake the first few times.
"Always been an early riser, milady." Doris considered contradicting him for once, but before she could he was speaking again and then heading back out of the room. "Breakfast will be ready soon."
The rest of the morning was blessedly quieter. Only a few messages waited for her, including what looked to be an apology from Jagen, skipped in favor of the morning news bulletins. Little of interest was to be found there. Only the weather bulletin, with its promise of a dusting of snow, interesting her at all.
* * *
The opening ceremonies consisted largely, as all such seem fated to be, of a series of people speaking mostly a stream of the standard formalities. The comfortable feeling of such well worn pattern could have been comforting if Doris didn't know they were working their way up to her, to provide the final words of the opening. It felt like countless hours and much too soon as she found herself standing, looking out across the town square. Her eyes paused, finding Nicol speaking to a slightly older vixen with a clear family resemblance. Good, I did hope you would listen. Not simply wait at a distance to help. You've earned some rest, enjoy it.
Setting her notes down, she started on her mother's speech. It had been easy to hear her mother's voice in her ears as she reviewed the lines the past days. It almost felt like she was simply listening and repeating the words for the crowd. With little need to do more than occasionally glance at the pages. Sliding the second page to the side she paused. Looking down at the words, reading ahead, her mother's voice still seeming to whisper in her ears.
She stopped partway down the page, and looked up at the gathering. Everyone was still quiet, the quick moment of quiet reading not quite too long. No. I think this isn't what I need to say. Sliding the rest of the notes off to the side. Looking through the crowd once more. Whispers just catching her ears as she found Nicol again. She smiled at puzzled look on his face. I suppose I had best speak again before that becomes worry. You worry enough for us already.
"These are good words. Which my mother hoped to give to you herself. Mother has always been better at finding the right words. They always seen to scatter away when I try to find them. But however good they are, they are not my words and somehow it just doesn't feel right for me to use them."
Puzzlement had in fact given way to worry on Nicol's face, and no one else seemed any more sure what to make of what had said as she paused again. Closing her eyes trying to find the right words. "Why are we here? The Remembrance. The Remembrance of the life of Lady Samara Sharpears. Who fought to end the Dominion and returned to this, our home that was stolen from us for so long. Who survived the fighting and the Bloody Plagues that were released in a final childish tantrum, to end all if the Varn couldn't rule all. What lesson might she want us to learn?
"I think perhaps, the importance of family. There was no reason for her to think, after all that she survived, that finally arriving home she would only have twelve years left. Only twelve, dying so young for all she did.
"But if you look at those twelve years, she spent all she could with family. Politics, the rebuilding and restoration, they received their time. But her children, her relatives, there was little that could pull her away from them.
"Can we say the same? Will I be able to say the same when I return to the Holy Den Mother? We have no choice but to seek a balance, there is work that must be done, but when the day ends can we say we found the proper balance? It is perhaps easy for me now. Unmarried, no children, I can devote my time to service, putting education and will to work. Even that is a balance of time I suppose. But when I start a family, I pray that I will remember this lesson.
"I fear this perhaps isn't really so profound. But it is what I find myself thinking as I look back on my ancestor's life. It is good to have an example such as hers. Something to help us judge our own goals and progress. To think that my family sets such an example for others as well - it is a strange feeling at times."
And this is why I ought not do this. Plan your speeches from now on! Thankfully the crowd did not seem as puzzled by this final pause. Or perhaps it simply felt longer than it was. She gave the crowd a shy smile. "Thank you for indulging me in my first time speaking before a group this size. Never fear, my mother's words will be available on the town news net this evening."
* * *
In the gathering afterwards Doris eyed Jagen cautiously as he approached. "Believe me Miss Sharpears, it was a better speech than you feared."
Doris lifted a single brow. "Miss Sharpears? Really now Jagen, you stuck your tail in your mouth, it is simply one of your endearing yet tiring traits. But calling me Miss Sharpears? Next that paw behind your back will have flowers."
He did at least have the decency to look embarrassed as he brought out a pair of ice blue flowers. "Heh. Well, actually my man is quiet good at finding things. With no reply to the apology I sent last night, I simply said I needed some flowers as beautiful as your eyes and before I knew it they were at hand."
"I see, well be sure to tell him that his apology is accepted."
"I truly didn't mean to upset... You're smiling again. That was, you actually told a joke, didn't you."
"Do not think it means you are off the hook Jagen. However, you are one of my oldest friends. I will let you work for your forgiveness. I expect you to join me at the school tomorrow. You can help me with all the cubs."
"Certainly. I can provide the littlest with something more exciting to climb and stare down any who look too worshipful of my date."
"Your date? Are you looking to make your servant apologize for you again?"
"Surely my lady jests. It will be perfect. A tour of their gardens, lunch in a cafeteria that has customers lining up for it daily, and a reserved seat at a one day only play."
Henry smiled to Talli off to the side. "Well, listen to that laugh. I always do like being wrong about trouble starting."