muses_w_remotes - 11.3 - Ain't That A Kick In The Head
(Ben = poorlil_richboy. Miranda = lovely_msstone. After this.)
"What a pain in the ass you are. And it's true: you're not young, you're not new, and you do make people laugh. And me? I'm still with you because you make me laugh. So you know what I got to do? I got to sell my plot in Key Biscayne so I can get one next to you in that shithole Los Copa, so I never miss a laugh." | The Birdcage
Nellie had been in a weird place for the past week. She really could care less about her date that never was, that the guy was on to flirting with another girl in her class. What she cared about was her fight with Ben. They argued a lot, but it was usually over little things. It was usually just for the sake of arguing. And it was always just fine as soon as it ended.
Because he was her Ben.
Hearing him explain the unhappiness he saw in her was hard. She didn't understand at first, because she truly thought she was happy. She had her friends, her schooling, and her Daddy. Those were the kind of things that always mattered so much more to her than what her father's money could buy. And Ben...he challenged that. She thought he was being a jerk, an idiot...until she heard Miranda agree with him.
Miranda was many things, but she wasn't stupid or a liar. She, like Nellie, was seen as the cute little blond with the parents' money. Maybe Nellie found comfort in their similar situations, but either way...having Miranda reiterate the fact threw her.
Nellie spent the week thinking, avoiding Ben, and trying to make sense of things. She tried to find whatever it was that those closest to her seemed to see.
It wasn't a secret that growing up had been hard on her. Living without her mother left a nonrefillable hole in her heart. She was guarded. She knew that. For most of her life she had only let her father and Ben in. His sisters were close behind, but everyone else...they were just people.
When she moved to New York for school and moved in with Ben, she started meeting people. People she was wary of at first, but incredible people that she was trying so hard to let in. She knew that it was happening, but not to Ben's level.
She didn't know why.
It was Sunday afternoon in the park, and Nellie had just been walking. Thinking over it all. She sat on a bench and chewed her lip.
She had some amazing people as friends. They meant a lot to her. So why couldn't she just...stop telling herself that she'd never get to keep them? A slight gasp rose in her throat, but she swallowed it. She hadn't realized it until then, but she was scared. For the first time she had friends that seemed to love her for...just being her. Friends that she loved just as much. Nellie was terrified that they'd leave.
She leaned back on the bench. Deep down, she wasn't scared of Daddy or Ben leaving her. They were her family. No one else was guaranteed. Maybe Ben wasn't even guaranteed.
No. That wasn't right. He was. He was her Ben. He wouldn't ever leave.
But there were a couple things she knew she could lose him from. If she pushed him away. If she ever treated him like all the other guys that came into her life, forcing up a wall right away. The only thing about that was...he wasn't like the other guys. And he wasn't like her guy friends that she did keep around.
He was Ben.
She was always happy around Ben. Life felt good around Ben. Being near Ben, she felt less alone. She felt more real. Because he was her Ben and all she had to be for him was his Nellie.
Not that she knew what the hell any of this meant.
589
"What a pain in the ass you are. And it's true: you're not young, you're not new, and you do make people laugh. And me? I'm still with you because you make me laugh. So you know what I got to do? I got to sell my plot in Key Biscayne so I can get one next to you in that shithole Los Copa, so I never miss a laugh." | The Birdcage
Nellie had been in a weird place for the past week. She really could care less about her date that never was, that the guy was on to flirting with another girl in her class. What she cared about was her fight with Ben. They argued a lot, but it was usually over little things. It was usually just for the sake of arguing. And it was always just fine as soon as it ended.
Because he was her Ben.
Hearing him explain the unhappiness he saw in her was hard. She didn't understand at first, because she truly thought she was happy. She had her friends, her schooling, and her Daddy. Those were the kind of things that always mattered so much more to her than what her father's money could buy. And Ben...he challenged that. She thought he was being a jerk, an idiot...until she heard Miranda agree with him.
Miranda was many things, but she wasn't stupid or a liar. She, like Nellie, was seen as the cute little blond with the parents' money. Maybe Nellie found comfort in their similar situations, but either way...having Miranda reiterate the fact threw her.
Nellie spent the week thinking, avoiding Ben, and trying to make sense of things. She tried to find whatever it was that those closest to her seemed to see.
It wasn't a secret that growing up had been hard on her. Living without her mother left a nonrefillable hole in her heart. She was guarded. She knew that. For most of her life she had only let her father and Ben in. His sisters were close behind, but everyone else...they were just people.
When she moved to New York for school and moved in with Ben, she started meeting people. People she was wary of at first, but incredible people that she was trying so hard to let in. She knew that it was happening, but not to Ben's level.
She didn't know why.
It was Sunday afternoon in the park, and Nellie had just been walking. Thinking over it all. She sat on a bench and chewed her lip.
She had some amazing people as friends. They meant a lot to her. So why couldn't she just...stop telling herself that she'd never get to keep them? A slight gasp rose in her throat, but she swallowed it. She hadn't realized it until then, but she was scared. For the first time she had friends that seemed to love her for...just being her. Friends that she loved just as much. Nellie was terrified that they'd leave.
She leaned back on the bench. Deep down, she wasn't scared of Daddy or Ben leaving her. They were her family. No one else was guaranteed. Maybe Ben wasn't even guaranteed.
No. That wasn't right. He was. He was her Ben. He wouldn't ever leave.
But there were a couple things she knew she could lose him from. If she pushed him away. If she ever treated him like all the other guys that came into her life, forcing up a wall right away. The only thing about that was...he wasn't like the other guys. And he wasn't like her guy friends that she did keep around.
He was Ben.
She was always happy around Ben. Life felt good around Ben. Being near Ben, she felt less alone. She felt more real. Because he was her Ben and all she had to be for him was his Nellie.
Not that she knew what the hell any of this meant.
589