Hanging Back, Moving Forward [River, All Ages]
Title: Hanging Back, Moving Forward
Author: lil_kaylee_frye
Pairings/Characters: River, Simon, mentions of Zoe, Kaylee and Wash
Rating: All Ages
Word Count: 565
Summary: A ficlet on River's thoughts near the end of the BDM after Simon gets hurt.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Firefly.
She hangs back.
She hangs back and lets the big boys and girls do all the work. They would know what to do, they could fix it, fix everything, because if they could not, who could?
And then, quite suddenly, Zoe - angry, grieving, reckless Zoe - gets cut and Kaylee - innocent, little Kaylee - gets hurt. The air fills with the stench of blood and she feels her stomach churn and roll, like a ship on the ancient sea - well, her head is certainly swimming.
She glances over to Simon. He'll make it better. He's a doctor; he can make things better… can't he? He stands purposefully, and she feels a burst of hope - (he's going to make things better!) - before her world crashes down around her.
Simon's no longer standing. On the floor now, twitching and gasping for air to fill his lungs. Perspiration glistens on his brow, it a struggle just to stay alive - to remain in this world, instead of moving onto the next. He's slipping away, she can feel him slipping away. She tries to cling to him, to ground him to this world, but the fragments of his life are fleeting.
"River…" he gasps, "River… I'm sorry."
"No," she dismisses his apologizes, tears welling up in her eyes as she shakes her head, "No."
"I don't wanna go," he breathes.
"You won't. You take care of me, Simon," River whispers, her throat thick with emotion as a tear trickles down her cheek, "You're always taking care of me."
She knows what she has to do. Her head clears and the fear is washed away like water swirling down a plughole. All that remains is fury. They killed Wash; cut Zoe; hurt Kaylee; but, most of all, those heun dahns dared to hurt Simon. Her brother, her saviour, her protector, her everything is dying because of them.
She wants them to feel the pain they inflicted. It's a burning desire to make them suffer as Simon, Serenity and her crew are suffering. They will pay.
"My turn," she whispers; she's no longer hanging back, she's moving forward.
Moving forward to what? To retrieving the medkit that could save her brother's life? To her death? To the realms of uncertainty in which it is impossible to call what outcome will occur?
All she knows is that she's moving forward, because Simon needs her to do so.